FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Clickety Clique

Clickety Clique

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not me

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Sexy sick

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

I’m in Dawson’s clique.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't do Cliques

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm in a clacque

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I want to be in the clique but the twats won't let me in.

Is it something I said?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m in Dawson’s clique."

I'm up his Creek

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Not me"

Why not?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't do Cliques"

What is a clique?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Clique or unique?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whats that ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To those that see a a clique I’m probably in it.

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

"I’m in Dawson’s clique.

I'm up his Creek"

Shit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm in a clacque"

I've got the Clacque

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I want to be in the clique but the twats won't let me in.

Is it something I said? "

How mean. Why do you want in?

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

Is this "deflection"?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Clique or unique?"

Unique everytime

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"To those that see a a clique I’m probably in it."

How does that make you feel?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m that girl that wants to sit at the back of the bus but always sits in the middle, sometimes on the odd occasion when the cool kids are off, I get to sit there but go right back to just in front of the loo! Keeping it neutral.

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan over a year ago

Northampton

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Is this "deflection"?"

I don't know. Is it deflection Clem?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m that girl that wants to sit at the back of the bus but always sits in the middle, sometimes on the odd occasion when the cool kids are off, I get to sit there but go right back to just in front of the loo! Keeping it neutral."

understood. good metaphor.

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By *ust PeachyWoman over a year ago

Prestonish

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

Not in it and wouldn’t want to be!

I enjoy the forums but I’d rather dip in and out than set up camp here!

I do think there’s a clique of sorts though! To my mind they’re those who pretty much live on the forums, post on almost every thread, rarely if ever get a post overlooked/ignored and seem to have a number of cohorts/followers!

This is merely my observation though - doesn’t mean I’m right of course!

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By *nowwhitexxx1Woman over a year ago

Hull

I'm not... But I like looking in

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just want to be friends with everyone!

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By *ickygirl41Woman over a year ago

Glasgow

You know that episode in the Simpsons where Homer gets in the stonecutters then he pisses them off so much they change the name to the not Homer club, that's what would happen if I got into any cliques.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

Not in it and wouldn’t want to be!

I enjoy the forums but I’d rather dip in and out than set up camp here!

This is merely my observation though - doesn’t mean I’m right of course!

It's a fair observation. Its yours aand what I asked for.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm not... But I like looking in

Into where..? What's the definition? Only Witchdoctor has admitted he may be in it, but doesn't think if it as a clique.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I just want to be friends with everyone!"

Even the 'orrible ones?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You know that episode in the Simpsons where Homer gets in the stonecutters then he pisses them off so much they change the name to the not Homer club, that's what would happen if I got into any cliques."

You should so start one up now

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By *nowwhitexxx1Woman over a year ago

Hull

"I'm not... But I like looking in

Into where..? What's the definition? Only Witchdoctor has admitted he may be in it, but doesn't think if it as a clique."

I guess for me it's the main people who post in the forums.. Whether I would call it a clique or not I'm not sure... But I enjoy reading what people put and join in sometimes more then others..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My joints click, but that's it, we never hear gossip so we're clearly not 'in'.

But that's fine with us.

Jo.Xx

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

To be in the clique one has to try and be all things to all people . To support the others in the clique at all costs , to support the weak , and downtrodden , and show empathy to all .

So surprisingly I’m not in it

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

"To be in the clique one has to try and be all things to all people . To support the others in the clique at all costs , to support the weak , and downtrodden , and show empathy to all .

So surprisingly I’m not in it

You’re in the other clique, don’t pretend otherwise.

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

"To be in the clique one has to try and be all things to all people . To support the others in the clique at all costs , to support the weak , and downtrodden , and show empathy to all .

So surprisingly I’m not in it

You’re in the other clique, don’t pretend otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I just want to be friends with everyone!

Even the 'orrible ones?"

Well maybe not so much but I’ve not across anyone orrible myself yet , I like to take people as I find them x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The only one I'm interested in is my own coven that's so damn selective I'm the only bugger in it

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

In clicking off to bed. Night Cliquers and non Cliquers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To those that see a a clique I’m probably in it.

How does that make you feel?"

I don’t consciously behave as if I’m part of one but unconsciously I might. However a I prefer to interact with my friends, I’m not constantly looking to include others. I can’t honestly say that from time to time I haven’t posted things that may impact how welcome someone feels negatively.

But how do I feel about it? Ambivalent

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By *pider-WomanWoman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

I really couldn't careless to be honest that's about as much enthusiasm as I can give you. Spiders are solitary souls.

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

I think that due to the increase in forum socials a vast majority of the forum regulars have met each other now, and it’s created group of friends that have lots of forum thread chats.

I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, just that it might appear to those who are new to the forum etc why there is a clique.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was in an exclusive clique membership restricted to me, but I pissed off the committee and got thrown out

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By *ust ClareTV/TS over a year ago

Settlewick!

I don't want to be in any clique that would have me as a member

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think that due to the increase in forum socials a vast majority of the forum regulars have met each other now, and it’s created group of friends that have lots of forum thread chats.

I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, just that it might appear to those who are new to the forum etc why there is a clique.

I have never been to a social. I’ve met the grand total of 5 forum users in the 5 years I’ve been doing n it, but I could still be seen as behaving as if I am part of a clique.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh golly gosh this old chestnut.

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

As Groucho Marx almost once said, I wouldn't be in any clique that would have me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wouldnt mind if anyone thought I was to be honest. Just means a group of friends that can take the piss out of each other a bit without dramatic offence. Im counting online people as friends as I havnt met hardly any of you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As Groucho Marx almost once said, I wouldn't be in any clique that would have me

Tough you’re still in it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yawn

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't do Cliques

What is a clique?"

I'd say it's a group of people that rudely shut everybody else out the conversation and only discuss with themselves within there own circle of friends.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm rude to my friends, too. No need to be in a clique for it

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"As Groucho Marx almost once said, I wouldn't be in any clique that would have me

Tough you’re still in it"

I thought we were in the Cloud Cuckoo Clique

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"As Groucho Marx almost once said, I wouldn't be in any clique that would have me

Tough you’re still in it

I thought we were in the Cloud Cuckoo Clique

And try saying that when you've had one too many of your cocktails Doc

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cliques clubs, conformity....

Perhaps not. I'm content to go my own way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't do Cliques

What is a clique?

I'd say it's a group of people that rudely shut everybody else out the conversation and only discuss with themselves within there own circle of friends."

I'm not sure it's intentional though. There are in jokes and previous conversations that newbies wouldn't understand and feel left out of.

I think it's like going to a pub. The locals will take time to get used to you but the more you show up and join in the more they will and you'll soon feel like a friend.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Cliques are often discussed. I just think it behoves us all to be welcoming to everyone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't want to belong to any club that will accept people like me as a member" - Groucho Marx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm up shit clique without a paddle.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

Not in it and wouldn’t want to be!

I enjoy the forums but I’d rather dip in and out than set up camp here!

This is merely my observation though - doesn’t mean I’m right of course!

Eloquently put.

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By *hamboy69Man over a year ago

huddersfield

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

Not in it and wouldn’t want to be!

I enjoy the forums but I’d rather dip in and out than set up camp here!

This is merely my observation though - doesn’t mean I’m right of course!

Please except my resignation I wouldn’t want to be a member of any clique that would have me as a member

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By *educedWoman over a year ago

Birmingham

I've not been invited...

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

I’m not in the clique. If one even exists.

I think there are just some people that seem to spend an inordinate amount of time on the forums and I guess they get used to each other’s voices.

I dip in and out. It’s mostly just entertainment for me.

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By *ickygirl41Woman over a year ago

Glasgow

You should so start one up now "

The no pickygirl club?

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By *ickygirl41Woman over a year ago

Glasgow

"The only one I'm interested in is my own coven that's so damn selective I'm the only bugger in it"

I have one of those but there's six of us. You're welcome to join

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By *ickygirl41Woman over a year ago

Glasgow

"In clicking off to bed. Night Cliquers and non Cliquers"

G'night

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just roam around

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

I don't think there's a clique as such, but appreciate that it can appear so.

I liken the forums to being in a pub. Take a look around, there will be groups of people who know each other all chatting away merrily, independently of each other.

Sometimes a person in one group recognises a friend who's with another group. They introduce their mutual friends and so the group's grow.

Not everyone will get on with everyone though. That's life.

No clique, more of a coterie I'd suggest......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not in any Clique, if anything I sit on the outside of all of them getting ignored by everyone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't think there's a clique as such, but appreciate that it can appear so.

I liken the forums to being in a pub. Take a look around, there will be groups of people who know each other all chatting away merrily, independently of each other.

Sometimes a person in one group recognises a friend who's with another group. They introduce their mutual friends and so the group's grow.

Not everyone will get on with everyone though. That's life.

No clique, more of a coterie I'd suggest......"

Well put. On a semi-separate note, is it me or are the forums a nicer place to be just recently?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You ain't even missing me baby

So why do I want you so badly?

Making a fool of me, I'm so keen

Baby, I got your back, like we're still seventeen

I'm gonna fight for you, you know where I'll be

Baby, I got your back, like we're still seventeen

I'm gonna write for you, honey, I'm so keen

Baby, I got your back, like we're still seventeen

I'm not sure if its right to call forum/site friends as a clique, but there is an obvious bond amongst a lot of the regular posters. Naturally friends will post on friends threads regularly which maybe looks to the untrained eye that those people are cliquey. I don't see why it should bother anyone though, we can be liked by or please everyone

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By *uzukiNo1Woman over a year ago

Rhyl

I'm in a gang......we congregate round the back of the sports hall.....

I pay membership 2 bazooka Joe's and a sherbet dip....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im not in it . I just post on what i want. There's always going to be grouos that know each other and have in jokes etc ...im just going to do what i always do on here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Clickety click micro chips

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By *tingly ByronMan over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"I don't think there's a clique as such, but appreciate that it can appear so.

I liken the forums to being in a pub. Take a look around, there will be groups of people who know each other all chatting away merrily, independently of each other.

Sometimes a person in one group recognises a friend who's with another group. They introduce their mutual friends and so the group's grow.

Not everyone will get on with everyone though. That's life.

No clique, more of a coterie I'd suggest......

Well put. On a semi-separate note, is it me or are the forums a nicer place to be just recently?"

Ta.

I don't know to be honest.

I recognise the posters who go out of their way to be argumentative and provocative, trying to start arguments and cause conflict.

I question their motives (and their mental state) so know which threads to avoid and suspect others do the same.

Assuming that's the case, not seeing those threads (and posters) could give the impression the forums are a nicer place, you simply don't see the drama lamas.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im not in it . I just post on what i want. There's always going to be grouos that know each other and have in jokes etc ...im just going to do what i always do on here

Exactly. I post for my amusement or when I feel that I want my opinion aired.

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple over a year ago

Stockport

"I’m in Dawson’s clique."

Made me chuckle

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

It can’t be the same group that were accused of it 3 years ago when I joined because half of them have gone and yet a lot of people still refer to this mythical group.

I’m not in any group and I don’t think I’ve ever been accused of being in the clique. I breeze in do my thing and go.

I don’t think in terms of cliques, it has negative connotations on here. I just think there are some people who have befriended or met others and therefore the interaction is more familiar.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It can’t be the same group that were accused of it 3 years ago when I joined because half of them have gone and yet a lot of people still refer to this mythical group.

I’m not in any group and I don’t think I’ve ever been accused of being in the clique. I breeze in do my thing and go.

I don’t think in terms of cliques, it has negative connotations on here. I just think there are some people who have befriended or met others and therefore the interaction is more familiar. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

I don’t think there’s a ‘clique’ as such but there is definitely groups of friends who will defend each other no matter what. If you disagree with one of them, they’ll all jump on your back and argue with you, make digs at you etc. It’s also annoying when you make a thread and one of them replies to it, and they decide just to have a full blown conversation on it, about nothing to do with the thread...just message each other instead?

No, I don’t really think I’m part of a group or clique or whatever.

To my knowledge I have only been accused last night, and it made me laugh.

Yep, more than one ‘clique’. It’s only natural that friends all stick together, but fuck, don’t go disagreeing with one of them

some seem to think the opinion you have on maybe one user, is the same opinion for them and god fucking forbid

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im a lone wolf

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

No, I don’t really think I’m part of a group or clique or whatever.

To my knowledge I have only been accused last night, and it made me laugh.

Yep, more than one ‘clique’. It’s only natural that friends all stick together, but fuck, don’t go disagreeing with one of them

some seem to think the opinion you have on maybe one user, is the same opinion for them and god fucking forbid

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple over a year ago

Stockport

I didn’t realise you had to be in! I just browse through and chuckle or leave comments every now and again. Sometimes people find my comments relevant and respond sometimes they don’t. Life is too short to worry about these things x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Definitely not in it lol most of the time my posts get ignored. Unless I start a thread but then I have to deal with people's opinions, urgh...

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

I'm a lone ranger. I may gravitate towatds certain people if I find them interesting funny or annoying. That says more about me than them and doesn't necessarily need to be reciprocated.

I like it in my own world its warm there.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

No, I don’t really think I’m part of a group or clique or whatever.

To my knowledge I have only been accused last night, and it made me laugh.

Yep, more than one ‘clique’. It’s only natural that friends all stick together, but fuck, don’t go disagreeing with one of them

some seem to think the opinion you have on maybe one user, is the same opinion for them and god fucking forbid

Yep I think there are a lot of us that see it like that. Thankfully I don't spend every waking moment on the forum, so they can crack on with it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t think there’s a ‘clique’ as such but there is definitely groups of friends who will defend each other no matter what. If you disagree with one of them, they’ll all jump on your back and argue with you, make digs at you etc. It’s also annoying when you make a thread and one of them replies to it, and they decide just to have a full blown conversation on it, about nothing to do with the thread...just message each other instead?

No, I don’t really think I’m part of a group or clique or whatever.

To my knowledge I have only been accused last night, and it made me laugh.

Yep, more than one ‘clique’. It’s only natural that friends all stick together, but fuck, don’t go disagreeing with one of them

some seem to think the opinion you have on maybe one user, is the same opinion for them and god fucking forbid

And you know what, I have absolutely no problems with friends gravitating towards each other. Fuck it, you go to a pub on a night out and you’ll mostly sit with your pals and chat. It’s when you are maybe disagreeing with one, or writing your opinion on a forum post that they perceive as wrong (yes, I’ve been sent messages from groups of pals because my OPINION is wrong

) and instead of one maybe debating with you, or questioning you etc, they all jump in, start having a go, making digs, insulting you etc. Then you become the wee ‘joke’ of that group and see them bringing it up on other forum posts

then one or two will start messaging you, you ignore it because hey, I use the forums for a bit of lighthearted fun if I’m bored, not because I want to constantly be debating something I stopped replying to hours ago because it became petty and immature. But you ignore those one or two messages, and they’ll all hop in, demanding to know why

Really makes ya open your eyes

But hey. Maybe I’m guilty of it. People can judge you in different ways, what I’m thinking in my head maybe doesn’t come across what I’m typing. Same for other people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Seems to me that a lot of people who'd probably be accused of being in the 'Clique' See it as just them reacting and interacting with their online friends.

I see people gang up on others here, but that's the nature of the Forum. If you post something controversial or a bit dumb, people will pull you up on it.

I don't really think it exists myself, if it does, I'm not voluntarily a part of it. I don't do gossip and I like to think I'm pretty inclusive. Which is why I make the effort to reply to most.

Do your own thing and don't worry about whether you're a part of something that may not even exist.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I dont recognise a clique as the forum regulars have changed significantly even in the short 2 years that I've been on fab. I know the types of posts that I avoid and the type I join in with (mainly the light hearted ones). I don't think I'll ever be part of a clique (if it exists) as I'll continue to use fab how I see fit and some of the things I do will annoy other people, so I won't fit in it!

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By *he riverdeep69Couple over a year ago

North west ish

No, I don’t really think I’m part of a group or clique or whatever.

To my knowledge I have only been accused last night, and it made me laugh.

Yep, more than one ‘clique’. It’s only natural that friends all stick together, but fuck, don’t go disagreeing with one of them

some seem to think the opinion you have on maybe one user, is the same opinion for them and god fucking forbid

Really makes ya open your eyes

But hey. Maybe I’m guilty of it. People can judge you in different ways, what I’m thinking in my head maybe doesn’t come across what I’m typing. Same for other people.

Totally agreed. Quite sad that for some the forum is their life. Thing is lots publicly stand up for each other, but they are two faced, stab you in the back kind of folk. Yep there is a clique, but would never want to be part of it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

No, I don’t really think I’m part of a group or clique or whatever.

To my knowledge I have only been accused last night, and it made me laugh.

Yep, more than one ‘clique’. It’s only natural that friends all stick together, but fuck, don’t go disagreeing with one of them

some seem to think the opinion you have on maybe one user, is the same opinion for them and god fucking forbid

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

"
Yeah, I think there is a clique element on here where the same group of friends intentionally snub/ignore people and they try to drive people off here if they feel your face doesn't fit. I've spoken with a a regular forum member about this, who has been on here for years Every time he posted, he felt a pack mentality and felt they were trying to drive him off here but he stuck with it.

He has openly put his experience on someones post to help people who feel they are experiencing the same thing. I know some people will disagree that there isn't a clique or feel the pack mentality is a natural thing, people supporting/sticking up for their friends which I can understand but I think the continual snubbing if you regularly reply on the same persons post and they reply to everyone else but yourself, isn't a coincidence. If I feel that is happening to me, I just accept and don't bother with them anymore. There are some regular posters who will respond to you and are unbiased with people.

I can understand why new people come off here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As Groucho Marx almost once said, I wouldn't be in any clique that would have me

Tough you’re still in it

I thought we were in the Cloud Cuckoo Clique

And try saying that when you've had one too many of your cocktails Doc

See - all these clique in jokes.

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By *uzukiNo1Woman over a year ago

Rhyl

Hmmmmmmmm arse licking clique I wanna be in it!

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

Who is in this clique? In 3 years not one person has been able to answer the question

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

Yeah, I think there is a clique element on here where the same group of friends intentionally snub/ignore people and they try to drive people off here if they feel your face doesn't fit. I've spoken with a a regular forum member about this, who has been on here for years Every time he posted, he felt a pack mentality and felt they were trying to drive him off here but he stuck with it.

I can understand why new people come off here. "

Yep I can too. I think it helps to have my behaviour as a regular poster challenged because it is easy to slip into subconscious behaviours that exclude others and make newcomers or just less regular posters feel ignored, shunned or at its worst ostracised.

As Mrs Nicecouple said above ‘it behoves us all to be welcoming as possible’.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple over a year ago

North west ish

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

I can understand why new people come off here. "

Yeh but would you seriously want anything to do with people like that. Totally get the 'pack mentality'. Seen it so many times on here. I think it's more an illusion tho. Alot are not real friends. They are doing it for show and kudos. All smoke and mirrors of the illusion of friendship. Quite sad really. But to new people it comes across as unwelcoming and unfriendly. I put a post up years ago re how to make the forums friendlier to newbies. I got slated....nuff said!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who is in this clique? In 3 years not one person has been able to answer the question

I think it’s too amorphous to define easily Babs.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

I can understand why new people come off here.

I’ve done the same - it was about 5 years ago - I took an 8 month sabbatical afterwards

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

I can understand why new people come off here.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple over a year ago

North west ish

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

I can understand why new people come off here.

I’ve done the same - it was about 5 years ago - I took an 8 month sabbatical afterwards

I think mine was around 3-4 yrs ago. I remember reading the replies think wtf!! And that was me as a regular poster reading it. And they wonder why only a small % post.

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

"Who is in this clique? In 3 years not one person has been able to answer the question

One chap did.

He then went UNLOS. Which was quite annoying as he had some sexy photos

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By *he riverdeep69Couple over a year ago

North west ish

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

I can understand why new people come off here.

For suggesting that newbies weren't being made welcome, that posters were hostile and mean to newbies, excluding and mocking them with in jokes. My OP was originally just about how to make the forum a friendlier place, but it decended into a farce. The posters who displayed this sort of behaviour were in denial, yet openly showing it on here. Just plan weird.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple over a year ago

North west ish

....and the PM's now start lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who is in this clique? In 3 years not one person has been able to answer the question

I think what you'll find is people are sensible enough not to. The cliquey element is dynamic in that it doesn't have to always be the same people. People come and go and so the people change, but I can certainly understand why some feel excluded.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who is in this clique? In 3 years not one person has been able to answer the question

"
you're the clique. This is just your clever way of disguising the fact

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By *ed-monkeyCouple over a year ago

Hailsham

"Seems to me that a lot of people who'd probably be accused of being in the 'Clique' See it as just them reacting and interacting with their online friends.

I see people gang up on others here, but that's the nature of the Forum. If you post something controversial or a bit dumb, people will pull you up on it.

I don't really think it exists myself, if it does, I'm not voluntarily a part of it. I don't do gossip and I like to think I'm pretty inclusive. Which is why I make the effort to reply to most.

Do your own thing and don't worry about whether you're a part of something that may not even exist.

I have to agree with this ... I doubt think it's so much a clique as a group of people with similar attitudes and opinions

Post something controversial and many who disagree will comment in a similar manner making it look like they are all ganging up. Perish the thought that they just share the same thought.

It happened last evening, a perennial favourite started a thread, someone posted a witty or glib comment that although followed the thread, wasn't what the OP was looking for so toys were thrown and it descended into playground insults, and accusations of pack mentality.

Always going to happen with a textual medium as there is no intonation. People will read something how they want to read it, not necessarily in the manner of which it was meant. It is so difficult the get across wit, sarcasm, glibness when the important aspects of communication are missing. That is ... body language and facial expressions, and the tone of delivery.

That's my 2 cents anyway

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

I can understand why new people come off here.

I’ve done the same - it was about 5 years ago - I took an 8 month sabbatical afterwards

I think mine was around 3-4 yrs ago. I remember reading the replies think wtf!! And that was me as a regular poster reading it. And they wonder why only a small % post. "

I remember a few of them over the years, the funny thing is the gang membership that slates the OP changes over time.

I think an unstructured group setting such as a forum will inevitably foster patterns of group behaviour where there’ll always be in groups and out groups, heroes and villains, persecutors, victims and rescuers, games, politicking, rituals, pastimes scapegoats, innocents, orphans, caregivers, nice people, destroyers, creators, lovers, magicians, rulers, fools and sages.

I guess we can only do our best to be aware of the patterns and spit in the collective soup every so often to remind us to remain awake to the shitty things groups can do to others.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman over a year ago

I'm in my own clique, and if your names not down then youre not coming in!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

I can understand why new people come off here.

As Mrs Nicecouple said above ‘it behoves us all to be welcoming as possible’. "
Its good that you can recognise and experience what it can be like for some people. It can make people feel ostracised.

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Is there an actual clique who deliberately exclude people, no I don't think so. "Friends" will back each other up on threads so it can maybe seem that way. The thing is nobody really knows what's going on via pms and Kik groups etc, so what you see in threads isn't even a true picture of what a person or group is like. Some of those moaning about how terrible the "clique" are may be just as bad, but in a more subversive sneaky way.

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By *icetouch83Man over a year ago

swansea

"Is there an actual clique who deliberately exclude people, no I don't think so. "Friends" will back each other up on threads so it can maybe seem that way. The thing is nobody really knows what's going on via pms and Kik groups etc, so what you see in threads isn't even a true picture of what a person or group is like. Some of those moaning about how terrible the "clique" are may be just as bad, but in a more subversive sneaky way.

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

I haven't been accused of being in a clique to my virtual face, nor named in one. I do think that perhaps outsiders could/would/do see me as being one - I try to interact with different people on the forum but I often find it easier to interact with those I know or know will understand my sense of humour.

Is that excluding some people? Possibly yes. On the same hand, (unless it's in a debate) why would I interact with posters who don't really give off a friendly vibe? Or if not friendly, at least one that makes me want to interact with them. I don't think they would want me interacting with them anyway so really no love lost. I wouldn't choose to do it in another social setting so why here?

I think that it's true to some extent - what you put in the forum is what you get out of it.

There can be a shitty side of "cliqueness" - the threads being taken over, the marked digs. There's also the feeling of "otherness" that can spring up, evident moreso in threads like these.

I think threads like this remind me to be aware of my own actions and try and be more inclusive.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wouldn’t want to be in a clique that would have me in it.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple over a year ago

Hailsham

I've only been using the forums in anger for the last few months

I've find people welcoming, but at first I found the idea of participating and posting daunting

But you watch, you observe, you gauge what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour and you adapt.

I'm sure I've been accused as being a pack member. I don't consider myself to be ... more that I will have an opinion, and defend my position if needed, if o see others being dicks at people for no reason, or there's been misinterpretation... I will call it out ... it's what happens in a group environment

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who is in this clique? In 3 years not one person has been able to answer the question

Well there was *that* list a couple of years ago....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yep it does. People do shitty things to each other and then tell their friends their story about it, in the hope they’ll get support and that they will have their back should something shitty happen again. That’s often how lots of these dynamics are perpetuated.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who is in this clique? In 3 years not one person has been able to answer the question

Well there was *that* list a couple of years ago....

I was gutted I never saw that infamous list

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All forums have what can be described as cliquey behaviour.

The more people socialise on / off here the more it can be seen within threads.

Sometimes it can be to exclusion of others, other times not.

It’s not necessarily a bad thing either.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Agree with all of this. I’ve been invited to a couple of Kik groups. I lasted a couple of hours. Not my thing at all. I’ve also had messages “warning me off people” or bitching about others. Again, not my thing. Not sure if I’m classed as part of it or not but I do have friends on here, I used to comment on most things. Half the time I don’t even notice who posted. To me it’s just a laugh and I don’t take things seriously, although I’m finding it not so much of a laugh anymore unfortunately x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's a tricky one...I don't think there's a clique. I think there are a group of people who get on and probably know each other quite well.

As has been said, it's like going to a pub, the regulars all know each other and chat.

I try to be inclusive with who I converse with in here and I don't speak to that many forumites outside of the forums anymore, I used to know and speak to a lot of them but after a break, there are many new faces and people I simply don't know.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I haven't been accused of being in a clique to my virtual face, nor named in one. I do think that perhaps outsiders could/would/do see me as being one - I try to interact with different people on the forum but I often find it easier to interact with those I know or know will understand my sense of humour.

I think that it's true to some extent - what you put in the forum is what you get out of it.

There can be a shitty side of "cliqueness" - the threads being taken over, the marked digs. There's also the feeling of "otherness" that can spring up, evident moreso in threads like these.

I think threads like this remind me to be aware of my own actions and try and be more inclusive."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who is in this clique? In 3 years not one person has been able to answer the question

Well there was *that* list a couple of years ago....

Yes and that wasn't actually a list of clique, more a list of people they didn't like. I can be accused of many things on the forum but being a clique member really isn't one of them!

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By *eeBee67Man over a year ago

Masked and Distant

I'm happy to post anywhere and chat to anyone.

I agree there do seem to be people who chat regularly to each other and it can be a bit daunting to try and get involved in a conversation, pretty much like real life

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"Who is in this clique? In 3 years not one person has been able to answer the question

Well there was *that* list a couple of years ago....

Yes and that wasn't actually a list of clique, more a list of people they didn't like. I can be accused of many things on the forum but being a clique member really isn't one of them!

Hmmm I dunno...

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

"Who is in this clique? In 3 years not one person has been able to answer the question

Well there was *that* list a couple of years ago....

I didn’t see the list

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who is in this clique? In 3 years not one person has been able to answer the question

Well there was *that* list a couple of years ago....

Yes and that wasn't actually a list of clique, more a list of people they didn't like. I can be accused of many things on the forum but being a clique member really isn't one of them!

Hmmm I dunno...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who is in this clique? In 3 years not one person has been able to answer the question

Well there was *that* list a couple of years ago....

Yes and that wasn't actually a list of clique, more a list of people they didn't like. I can be accused of many things on the forum but being a clique member really isn't one of them!

First rule of clique club, deny all knowledge of clique club.....

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By *he riverdeep69Couple over a year ago

North west ish

"Who is in this clique? In 3 years not one person has been able to answer the question

Well there was *that* list a couple of years ago....

I was gutted I never saw that infamous list "

I remember 'the list' tho can't remember the names remember thinking yep sort of agree with most of those.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who is in this clique? In 3 years not one person has been able to answer the question

Well there was *that* list a couple of years ago....

Yes and that wasn't actually a list of clique, more a list of people they didn't like. I can be accused of many things on the forum but being a clique member really isn't one of them!

First rule of clique club, deny all knowledge of clique club.....

Ha yes I hide it so well don't ya think?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

I can understand why new people come off here.

I agree with this. I don't see it as an actual group of people in a clique, it's just a general behaviour of unfriendly people flocking together. Lots of mini cliques that change depending on time of day or the subject.

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By *egan_CDTV/TS over a year ago

In the closet

I’m in nobody’s clique. Make of that what you will.

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By *rs99Man over a year ago

Scarborough

I don't think people realise they're in a clique where as in a gang they do think it's other people outside the clique that notice the clique does that make any sense lol

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By *rs99Man over a year ago

Scarborough

[Removed by poster at 03/05/19 08:31:51]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s not so much if there’s a clique, but are there certain members of the forum who get away with quite unpleasant behaviour solely because they’re regulars on here and other regulars either back them in that behaviour or turn a blind eye?

They’re given a free pass that others aren’t. That’s where the pack mentality comes in.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't think people realise they're in a clique where as in a gang they do think it's other people outside the clique that notice the clique does that make any sense lol "

Well put.

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

We were only discussing this topic in the hidden forum the other day

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have been contacted by some popular forumites in thinly veiled attempts to start bitching sessions about other people. I want no part of it and have no interest in it, that's not why I'm here, but I know it goes on. "
If people are messaging each other behind the scenes, I can understand what you mean about them showing one side on the forum and another side in personal messages with other people and then that becomes another form of "clique". People have mentioned the other day about friends chatting behind the scenes about people which shed a whole new light on things. So I guess it's case of reminding yourself that you can't take anyone/anything serious on here unless you are friends with them in real life.

I've mentioned before that this is my first time on social media,this is all new to me, always made a point of avoiding it in the past, so I suppose I'm still learning what it can be like.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple over a year ago

Hailsham

"It’s not so much if there’s a clique, but are there certain members of the forum who get away with quite unpleasant behaviour solely because they’re regulars on here and other regulars either back them in that behaviour or turn a blind eye?

They’re given a free pass that others aren’t. That’s where the pack mentality comes in. "

I guess this is true in some respects

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't think people realise they're in a clique where as in a gang they do think it's other people outside the clique that notice the clique does that make any sense lol "
Yes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

They’re given a free pass that others aren’t. That’s where the pack mentality comes in. "

I’d call anyone out and have done before if they’re acting like a twat, regardless of their perceived forum “status”.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

They’re given a free pass that others aren’t. That’s where the pack mentality comes in. "

I see this too. However I can also understand why they don’t get called out on it too. There aren’t enough hours in the day or the inclination or energy to fight battles like that.

I’m much more a lover than a warrior

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

I agree with everything that’s been said; but it’s also amusing to read the vast quantities of projection. I think the accusations are correct, but I also think every single accusation is also a projection and something the accuser is equally guilty of (some are conscious of this, others really aren’t).

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

They’re given a free pass that others aren’t. That’s where the pack mentality comes in.

I see this too. However I can also understand why they don’t get called out on it too. There aren’t enough hours in the day or the inclination or energy to fight battles like that.

I’m much more a lover than a warrior

And I’m acutely aware of throwing stones while living in a glass house.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

They’re given a free pass that others aren’t. That’s where the pack mentality comes in.

I’d call anyone out and have done before if they’re acting like a twat, regardless of their perceived forum “status”."

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By *rs99Man over a year ago

Scarborough

Just looked uo the definatoin of a clique small group of people who do not readily alow others to join them,

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By *rs99Man over a year ago

Scarborough

[Removed by poster at 03/05/19 08:43:35]

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By *aven RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

I don't think I'm in a clique but there are people I interact with more when I see them in threads because I've either met them at a social or chatted to them in pm for a while. I stay in the lighthearted threads and hope I don't make anyone feel excluded/uncomfortable x

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By *rs99Man over a year ago

Scarborough

"Just looked uo the definatoin of a clique small group of people who do not readily alow others to join them, "
sorry ment up

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

They’re given a free pass that others aren’t. That’s where the pack mentality comes in.

I’d call anyone out and have done before if they’re acting like a twat, regardless of their perceived forum “status”."

Yep.. me too. I'd expect the same treatment.

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By *rs99Man over a year ago

Scarborough

Can we say that a clique is a small group of narrow minded people with sinister intent or just a very close circle of friends me personally I wudnt like to be in a clique but can see how you could fall into one intentionally or not intentionally

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By *ed-monkeyCouple over a year ago

Hailsham

They’re given a free pass that others aren’t. That’s where the pack mentality comes in.

I’d call anyone out and have done before if they’re acting like a twat, regardless of their perceived forum “status”.

Yep.. me too. I'd expect the same treatment."

Thing is I don't think people are arses because they've been here a while ... it's because they're arses ... but as has been said, because they've been here longer people are it's to their arsey behaviour and accept it as the norm

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

They’re given a free pass that others aren’t. That’s where the pack mentality comes in.

I’d call anyone out and have done before if they’re acting like a twat, regardless of their perceived forum “status”.

Yep.. me too. I'd expect the same treatment.

Yup.. there's only so many times I'm prepared to challenge, then I get bored and ignore it.. that's not a pass.

I also try and avoid the more controversial threads. Something that's quite clearly going to descend into anarchy of the bad kind. So I dont get to see some of the nastier more venomous comments. It's like poking the angry bear (me) with a stick.. So I prefer to do my own thing. If other people like it and brand me a member of cliquesville, so be it.

I'm labelled all sorts of other things unfairly by people who don't know me.. So why not wear that one too?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

^^^^^^^^^^^

Hang on, mention the word "Clique" and all the usual suspects end up on the thread. Just saying

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By *ed-monkeyCouple over a year ago

Hailsham

"^^^^^^^^^^^

Hang on, mention the word "Clique" and all the usual suspects end up on the thread. Just saying

It's cliquey to deny cliqueyness

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By *airytaleOfNewPorkMan over a year ago

Cheltenham/Telford

Makes interesting reading this thread....

I see it as a trip to the Safari, to see the Clique in their home environment and element... To watch the behaviour and interaction... To see how they differ... The mating calls echoing out around the savannah and snarls of competitive rutting as lamp posts get pissed on.... Then it's back to the tranquility of real life where the same shit happens... But for some reason people seem to be a little more inclusive

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By *rs99Man over a year ago

Scarborough

"^^^^^^^^^^^

Hang on, mention the word "Clique" and all the usual suspects end up on the thread. Just saying

"
sorry but can you explain what you mean

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By *ed-monkeyCouple over a year ago

Hailsham

So .. to be a forum regular is to be cliquey?

Remembering that a clique is being on a small group to the exclusion of others

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By *rs99Man over a year ago

Scarborough

"So .. to be a forum regular is to be cliquey?

Remembering that a clique is being on a small group to the exclusion of others

"
as far as I know they're noboby been excluded from this thread free and open chat is all I can c

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By *ust PeachyWoman over a year ago

Prestonish

They’re given a free pass that others aren’t. That’s where the pack mentality comes in.

I’d call anyone out and have done before if they’re acting like a twat, regardless of their perceived forum “status”.

Yep.. me too. I'd expect the same treatment.

Yup.. there's only so many times I'm prepared to challenge, then I get bored and ignore it.. that's not a pass.

I'm labelled all sorts of other things unfairly by people who don't know me.. So why not wear that one too?"

You’re a kinda sexy bear though!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm far too independent and selective to belong to a clique, drago doesn't play well with others, just a select few...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yawn "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

Not in it and wouldn’t want to be!

I enjoy the forums but I’d rather dip in and out than set up camp here!

This is merely my observation though - doesn’t mean I’m right of course!

This is exactly right .. doesn’t matter what lame subject some put up it gets loads of attention from the clique ..

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By *rs99Man over a year ago

Scarborough

[Removed by poster at 03/05/19 09:13:45]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So .. to be a forum regular is to be cliquey?

Remembering that a clique is being on a small group to the exclusion of others

as far as I know they're noboby been excluded from this thread free and open chat is all I can c"

That's how it was intended and glad you can see it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

They’re given a free pass that others aren’t. That’s where the pack mentality comes in.

I’d call anyone out and have done before if they’re acting like a twat, regardless of their perceived forum “status”.

Yep.. me too. I'd expect the same treatment.

Yup.. there's only so many times I'm prepared to challenge, then I get bored and ignore it.. that's not a pass.

I'm labelled all sorts of other things unfairly by people who don't know me.. So why not wear that one too?

You’re a kinda sexy bear though!

grrrrr

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No cliques for me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So .. to be a forum regular is to be cliquey?

Remembering that a clique is being on a small group to the exclusion of others

as far as I know they're noboby been excluded from this thread free and open chat is all I can c

That's how it was intended and glad you can see it."

People don't get excluded, unless they break forum rules and get moderated. They might choose not to participate, that's not being excluded.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple over a year ago

Hailsham

"So .. to be a forum regular is to be cliquey?

Remembering that a clique is being on a small group to the exclusion of others

as far as I know they're noboby been excluded from this thread free and open chat is all I can c

That's how it was intended and glad you can see it."

Exactly so

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

"So .. to be a forum regular is to be cliquey?

Remembering that a clique is being on a small group to the exclusion of others

Oh I get it!! You mean like the BBW thread! Of course!

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By *rs99Man over a year ago

Scarborough

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

Not in it and wouldn’t want to be!

I enjoy the forums but I’d rather dip in and out than set up camp here!

This is merely my observation though - doesn’t mean I’m right of course!

This is exactly right .. doesn’t matter what lame subject some put up it gets loads of attention from the clique .. "
how can the people on this forum be a clique I've never chatted or met anybody on this forum before was just talking about a subject I thought was interesting don't get were what you could call almost nasty has come from hope I haven't offended the clique Hell have no fury lol

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By *rs99Man over a year ago

Scarborough

"So who is in it? Are you in it? Do you want to be in it? Have you been accused of being in it? Why? What is it? What's it's purpose? Is it a malevolent or benevolent? Is there more than one clique?

Have your say.

Not in it and wouldn’t want to be!

I enjoy the forums but I’d rather dip in and out than set up camp here!

This is merely my observation though - doesn’t mean I’m right of course!

This is exactly right .. doesn’t matter what lame subject some put up it gets loads of attention from the clique .. "
smallest cliquey crew here lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The people that moan about cliques are usually imagining them. Just because a group of friends don't include you, doesn't make it a clique. More often than not it reflects your lack of social skills, not theirs.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple over a year ago

North west ish

So if someone thinks there is a clique they don't have any social skills? Care to explain how that works?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The people that moan about cliques are usually imagining them. Just because a group of friends don't include you, doesn't make it a clique. More often than not it reflects your lack of social skills, not theirs."
The people I have spoken to who have experienced the "clique" element, know regular forum members in real life and meet up with them for socials

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

done

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By *cgkcCouple over a year ago

Hitchin

Fekkinell - when fora go meta

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By *rs99Man over a year ago

Scarborough

"So .. to be a forum regular is to be cliquey?

Remembering that a clique is being on a small group to the exclusion of others

as far as I know they're noboby been excluded from this thread free and open chat is all I can c

That's how it was intended and glad you can see it.

People don't get excluded, unless they break forum rules and get moderated. They might choose not to participate, that's not being excluded. "
fair point but exclude was the wrong word what I ment was I can't see a small group of people singling any body out

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