Hi I posted on here a couple of days ago about a guy at work telling me he really fancies me!!! I’m happily married and he’s married also. Well the day after this was said I felt painfully uncomfortable so decided to tell my bosses initially they laughed!! Why would they laugh?
Would they be laughing at me, him or the situation
Sorry I know this isn’t the place to ask this kind of thing but my anxiety is sky high |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is that the wife posting ?
If it's the man then .. Muahahaha  "
Why is it funny if it’s the man?
OP I can understand why you’d feel uncomfortable, but has he done anything other than tell you he fancies you? |
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This is J.
They laughed and then discussed it and gave some advice, I think he’s been lightly brushing against my ass but I couldn’t really tell if it was the kids I work with ( working with kids in generally means sometimes they tap you on the bum to get attention) but this has happened a fair amount of times |
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By *am4CamWoman
over a year ago
Fairy Land |
"Hi I posted on here a couple of days ago about a guy at work telling me he really fancies me!!! I’m happily married and he’s married also. Well the day after this was said I felt painfully uncomfortable so decided to tell my bosses initially they laughed!! Why would they laugh?
Would they be laughing at me, him or the situation
Sorry I know this isn’t the place to ask this kind of thing but my anxiety is sky high"
Possibly they laughed because they’re nervous of how to deal with the situation. You did the right thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is J.
They laughed and then discussed it and gave some advice, I think he’s been lightly brushing against my ass but I couldn’t really tell if it was the kids I work with ( working with kids in generally means sometimes they tap you on the bum to get attention) but this has happened a fair amount of times "
Try and be a bit more conscious of what he's doing when he's near you. Then you'll be aware if it really is him or the kids.
A laugh could mean anything, no way of knowing because we weren't there.
Try not to worry too much, it may just be a nervous laugh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi I posted on here a couple of days ago about a guy at work telling me he really fancies me!!! I’m happily married and he’s married also. Well the day after this was said I felt painfully uncomfortable so decided to tell my bosses initially they laughed!! Why would they laugh?
Would they be laughing at me, him or the situation
Sorry I know this isn’t the place to ask this kind of thing but my anxiety is sky high
Possibly they laughed because they’re nervous of how to deal with the situation. You did the right thing. "
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This is worrying you clearly.
Tell the guy you aren't interested and you want your relationship to be friendly but professional from now on.
Ascertain if it is him or the children brushing against you.
Then take it from there. |
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"Why not just tell him you're happily married from the off. If anything further oversteps the line, I could understand going to your bosses but why go straight away?"
I went to them the day after and did most of my shift but my feelings of awkwardness and discomfort was getting far to much to bare |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"This is worrying you clearly.
Tell the guy you aren't interested and you want your relationship to be friendly but professional from now on.
Ascertain if it is him or the children brushing against you.
Then take it from there."
If she wasn't able to tell him she wasn't interested at the start, her approaching him now after going to her bosses is going to be awkward as hell. If her bosses haven't already approached him, they no doubt will be if not, will be giving him a warning over it..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is worrying you clearly.
Tell the guy you aren't interested and you want your relationship to be friendly but professional from now on.
Ascertain if it is him or the children brushing against you.
Then take it from there.
If she wasn't able to tell him she wasn't interested at the start, her approaching him now after going to her bosses is going to be awkward as hell. If her bosses haven't already approached him, they no doubt will be if not, will be giving him a warning over it..
"
If you read her previous thread I’m sure she says he knows fine well she’s happily married. He apologised for making it awkward. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"Why not just tell him you're happily married from the off. If anything further oversteps the line, I could understand going to your bosses but why go straight away?
I went to them the day after and did most of my shift but my feelings of awkwardness and discomfort was getting far to much to bare"
So what happens if someone comes up to you in the street, gym, pub (somewhere you go regularly) and says they fancies you. At some point you'll have to say - you are married, thanks but no thanks. Seems a bit of an over reaction to not have a conversation with him. |
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I work with the dude it’s a big no no and it’s also crossing the line of our friendship I have spoke to him and my bosses said they won’t be approaching him unless anything else is done or said.
If someone said they fancies me outside of work I would say right away as how would they know if I’m married or not?
I always talk about my hubby at work so he knows I’m not available
"Why not just tell him you're happily married from the off. If anything further oversteps the line, I could understand going to your bosses but why go straight away?
I went to them the day after and did most of my shift but my feelings of awkwardness and discomfort was getting far to much to bare
So what happens if someone comes up to you in the street, gym, pub (somewhere you go regularly) and says they fancies you. At some point you'll have to say - you are married, thanks but no thanks. Seems a bit of an over reaction to not have a conversation with him. "
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
In any workplace if you make a complaint, management or HR will not tell you the action taken on any individual. I can understand you going to them if it persisted, if he hadn't apologised or if you felt uncomfortable being around him after a week or so but it seems quite a reaction to report someone for what seems a fairly innocent remark. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP I wonder whether he has seen you are on fab and thinks it’s ok.
As others have said, you need to be sure whether it is him or the kids touching you.
Your bosses should take a complaint seriously and not laugh.
If it gets worse, put your complaint in writing, this tends to get handled more formally, though I hope this isn’t necessary |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP I wonder whether he has seen you are on fab and thinks it’s ok.
As others have said, you need to be sure whether it is him or the kids touching you.
Your bosses should take a complaint seriously and not laugh.
If it gets worse, put your complaint in writing, this tends to get handled more formally, though I hope this isn’t necessary"
I wondered if he's seen them on here too. Some people think swingers are fair game. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is J.
They laughed and then discussed it and gave some advice, I think he’s been lightly brushing against my ass but I couldn’t really tell if it was the kids I work with ( working with kids in generally means sometimes they tap you on the bum to get attention) but this has happened a fair amount of times "
The most important thing here surely is to ascertain if he is the person brushing against you OP. If he isn't, he's apologised and hasn't spoken so foolishly since, then I'd put it down to a clumsy and naive laps on his part. If he is the one touching you deliberately or if he persists in saying things that make you uncomfortable then that's definitely a cause for worry and a written complaint. |
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Thanks for your thoughts and advice on this. my minds just working over time and worrying a little too much but if he doesn’t Stop I’ll have to do something about it.
It was just a total what the fuck moment and I was incredibly shocked and didn’t know where to put myself and I’ve been cringing so hard ever since ha ha |
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"Thanks for your thoughts and advice on this. my minds just working over time and worrying a little too much but if he doesn’t Stop I’ll have to do something about it.
It was just a total what the fuck moment and I was incredibly shocked and didn’t know where to put myself and I’ve been cringing so hard ever since ha ha "
If he doesn't stop what? He apologised didn't he? |
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