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By *redj OP Man
over a year ago
gloucestershire |
Come on give us your best put downs you have ever heard,
Directed at me whilst talking to a woman, love why would i want you in my knickers ? I already have one arsehole in here  ooooooo that hurt x |
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"Come on give us your best put downs you have ever heard,
Directed at me whilst talking to a woman, love why would i want you in my knickers ? I already have one arsehole in here ooooooo that hurt x "
and my reply to her would of been yes I know I can smell it from here btw you’ve got skid marks |
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By *redj OP Man
over a year ago
gloucestershire |
"Come on give us your best put downs you have ever heard,
Directed at me whilst talking to a woman, love why would i want you in my knickers ? I already have one arsehole in here ooooooo that hurt x and my reply to her would of been yes I know I can smell it from here btw you’ve got skid marks "
that would have made it a bit too personal !! I could have come back with, and your arse is obviously not fitted with ABS  |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
A good few years ago, a friend of a girl my housemate was dating was out with us in a big group. She kicked me under the table, leaned forwards and said "If you're not careful I'm going to fuck you."
To which I replied;
"Then I'm going to be very, very careful." |
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"A good few years ago, a friend of a girl my housemate was dating was out with us in a big group. She kicked me under the table, leaned forwards and said "If you're not careful I'm going to fuck you."
To which I replied;
"Then I'm going to be very, very careful." "
Burn  |
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After a bit of sexist chat from some guys standing near us in a pub one guy kind of grabbed his bits and said "why don't you get a hold of this" my pal sucked air through her teeth and said "left my tweezers at home mate, soz"
Most of the pub erupted laughing.
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In secondary school, there was a new supply teacher that all of the boys had their eyes on (for two very large reasons).
During class one day she confiscated a condom from one of the most popular guys in school.
The teacher looked on speechless at the the boy, who by then had a smug look on his face and said "wanna try it out miss?"
She gave it back to him and said "I don't think so, I didn't know they made them this small"
Needless to say the boy's popularity wasn't quite the same after that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my teens when in a friends living room at a party I said to a girl "if I don't kiss you now I'm going to explode" she replied "well we need to go into the kitchen" I thought my luck was in and she just carried on "because tiled floors are so much easier to clean!"
We're still friends and I'm both embarrassed and impressed by her put down. |
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I walked home from work one evening.
I avoided the dark alley between work & my house, stuck to the main road, which takes me past the main village pub, frequented by d up chavs.
Group of young lads stood outside, couple starting jeering as I walked towards them
etc
One of them grabbed his groin "Comon darlin, wanna suck my cock"
He was about 19/20, 5'7" and 10st dripping wet. I looked him up & down, smiled.
"come see me when you've grown some pubes"
His friends were on the floorv 
Even funnier a few weeks later, when I had to put him through an induction at the gym! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Outside a cafe at a table next to mine a woman asked me " Do you mind if I smoke?"...I replied "You could burst into flames as far as I'm concerned."
A guy who loved the attention his 'cute' puppy was getting from all the ladies outside the same cafe told me once "If you want to get a woman get a dog."..I replied "I don't need a dog I've got a personality" |
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By *inn2000Woman
over a year ago
belfast |
At the pub with ex hubby and his friend who was chatting up a lady at the bar. She was clearly getting annoyed with him so turned round, looked him and down and sneered , "Oh get lost! I wouldn't fuck you for practice!"
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By *redj OP Man
over a year ago
gloucestershire |
"At the pub with ex hubby and his friend who was chatting up a lady at the bar. She was clearly getting annoyed with him so turned round, looked him and down and sneered , "Oh get lost! I wouldn't fuck you for practice!"
"
Oooooooo that is a one to remember x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Got a rude message the other day, I replied something along the lines of, well that's 5 minutes of my life I won't get back, off you trot fella, it's hurting me to think down to your level. |
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By *osie xWoman
over a year ago
wolverhampton |
Mate and her sister were out one night and were circling a couple of guys at the bar. They started to chat to them and my mate mentioned they were sisters, to which the one guy asked where Cinderella was |
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"Mate and her sister were out one night and were circling a couple of guys at the bar. They started to chat to them and my mate mentioned they were sisters, to which the one guy asked where Cinderella was"
That's just made me spit my drink laughing x |
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By *redj OP Man
over a year ago
gloucestershire |
"Mate and her sister were out one night and were circling a couple of guys at the bar. They started to chat to them and my mate mentioned they were sisters, to which the one guy asked where Cinderella was"
Not funny i suppose but it is bloody funny x |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
Work in with a guy who is the same age as my daughter.. I was rubbish about his mum (Who is hot) asking where he was born and inferring he could be mine as he has never known his real dad and I had been in the vicinity around that time.
Finished it with.
Nah, actually you are too fucking short to be my kid.
Another youngster tried to muscle in on a discussion about manscaping, asking why bother. I calmly turned round and said "Well when you grow up you get hair down below..." at which point all his mates started laughing at him. |
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