FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Slightly controversial
Slightly controversial
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Might piss alot of people off but an honest opinion.
Is being in a couple just an excuse for the guy to have a plaything thats allowed?
So while ive been looking for a couple its come to my attention that its an excuse for a male to have a plaything with the female agreeing, hence the unicorn status.
Never the other way round where the female wants mmf fun.
Correct me if im wrong but it just seems to be the case |
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We’re a MF couple who usually has fun with one or both the males. My husband isn’t cockhold in any way. Sometimes he joins in. Sometimes he doesn’t. I will have 99% of the time decided who we are going to play with and he trusts my judgement. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We’re a MF couple who usually has fun with one or both the males. My husband isn’t cockhold in any way. Sometimes he joins in. Sometimes he doesn’t. I will have 99% of the time decided who we are going to play with and he trusts my judgement. "
Thats fair enough but doesnt always come across that way x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get off majorly on doughnut being with other women and enhances our sex life beyond anything, I’ve never wanted to play with other men but recently we’ve been talking about it more and more, I get off on him being with other women but he doesn’t with me with other men but is happy for me to go off if I make the decision and do my thing with a bloke, it’s always been my choice.
I can see why some people may think that the bloke gets it all while the woman doesn’t get much but watching him play with another woman and occasionally join in, is the best thing ever! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about when you see couples profiles and they say, male only playing, which alot do?"
If you're a Male looking for an mf couple and they say Male only then bypass them if it's not what you're looking for. What else would any sane person do???? |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
Wrong. I keep encouraging my other half to get guys to join us, I love to see her enjoy herself like that. Unfortunately she struggles to find anyone she really wants, that's the only thing stopping her.
She's equally as supportive of me having ladies join us. I have the opposite problem to her, I struggle to find ladies that want me 
But we persevere!
There's nothing one sided about us at all. |
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"What about when you see couples profiles and they say, male only playing, which alot do?"
That’s because it’s a single guy hiding behind a couples profile. Plenty do it. You’ll see a status like ‘only male playing at the moment’ or ‘I want to arrange some fun for hubby while I’m out at work’. It’s a single guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have given hubby permission to play alone bit if anything it's me that wants to more. I have played alone a few times and had lots of mnf fun....hubby would have had more but the male to female ratios on fab mean it's difficult to find single girls..even for couples |
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"Might piss alot of people off but an honest opinion.
Is being in a couple just an excuse for the guy to have a plaything thats allowed?
So while ive been looking for a couple its come to my attention that its an excuse for a male to have a plaything with the female agreeing, hence the unicorn status.
Never the other way round where the female wants mmf fun.
Correct me if im wrong but it just seems to be the case "
I've seen more couples where they only have guys than only have women |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What about when you see couples profiles and they say, male only playing, which alot do?
That’s because it’s a single guy hiding behind a couples profile. Plenty do it. You’ll see a status like ‘only male playing at the moment’ or ‘I want to arrange some fun for hubby while I’m out at work’. It’s a single guy. "
I understand that but since visiting a club recently it seems to be more a what the male wants to do regards having a unicorn or plaything join them.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Might piss alot of people off but an honest opinion.
Is being in a couple just an excuse for the guy to have a plaything thats allowed?
So while ive been looking for a couple its come to my attention that its an excuse for a male to have a plaything with the female agreeing, hence the unicorn status.
Never the other way round where the female wants mmf fun.
Correct me if im wrong but it just seems to be the case I've seen more couples where they only have guys than only have women "
Must be a southern thing lol |
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"Might piss alot of people off but an honest opinion.
Is being in a couple just an excuse for the guy to have a plaything thats allowed?
So while ive been looking for a couple its come to my attention that its an excuse for a male to have a plaything with the female agreeing, hence the unicorn status.
Never the other way round where the female wants mmf fun.
Correct me if im wrong but it just seems to be the case I've seen more couples where they only have guys than only have women
Must be a southern thing lol"
but even the other way around. It's rare it's for that reason x it does happen but those situations tend to fade fast |
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"What about when you see couples profiles and they say, male only playing, which alot do?
That’s because it’s a single guy hiding behind a couples profile. Plenty do it. You’ll see a status like ‘only male playing at the moment’ or ‘I want to arrange some fun for hubby while I’m out at work’. It’s a single guy.
I understand that but since visiting a club recently it seems to be more a what the male wants to do regards having a unicorn or plaything join them.
"
Not true ..it's usually the female who gets to choose who they play with. Certainly in our case anyway. Mrs Klang is always looking for a single guy to play with. With or without me.
We tend to steer away from couples as they tend not to be what Mrs likes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My fb is bi so we both enjoyed mmf with other bi men, I loved the attention of two men, and really love watching the guys enjoy eachother too... my fb enjoyed watching me with another guy n sharing me.. all mutual and everyone happy x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Normally I would have something clever to say but it is too early. There are tens of thousands of people on this site so forgive me if I feel your view is limited to your personal experiences. Your view is also taking agency away from woman.
We can't win with you men, you see us as either villain or victim. I decide who I sleep with not my partner and I seek other women because I have a man already.
If as grown people we can't end generalised statements for a more nuanced view, then we are not growing at all.
Saz |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Might piss alot of people off but an honest opinion.
Is being in a couple just an excuse for the guy to have a plaything thats allowed?
So while ive been looking for a couple its come to my attention that its an excuse for a male to have a plaything with the female agreeing, hence the unicorn status.
Never the other way round where the female wants mmf fun.
Correct me if im wrong but it just seems to be the case "
Its a unicorn because mmf can be arranged in about 5 mins ffm takes a lot of work to find |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Might piss alot of people off but an honest opinion.
Is being in a couple just an excuse for the guy to have a plaything thats allowed?
So while ive been looking for a couple its come to my attention that its an excuse for a male to have a plaything with the female agreeing, hence the unicorn status.
Never the other way round where the female wants mmf fun.
Correct me if im wrong but it just seems to be the case "
You’re also missing the fact that the vast majority of couples mostly just play with other couples.
It’s getting somewhat boring on this site of (usually) single men assuming that blokes in couples are just using their wife/partner as bait to shag around. It’s patronising to the wife/partner assuming that they don’t have a meaningful say in the relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Probably is for some...but certainly not all!
My partner and I meet as a couple, and we're interested in men, women and couples, we're both bi and prefer other bi couples the most.
There's so much variety on site that I don't thing any demographic are all looking for the same thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Might piss alot of people off but an honest opinion.
Is being in a couple just an excuse for the guy to have a plaything thats allowed?
So while ive been looking for a couple its come to my attention that its an excuse for a male to have a plaything with the female agreeing, hence the unicorn status.
Never the other way round where the female wants mmf fun.
Correct me if im wrong but it just seems to be the case "
Concerning our relationship you would be completely wrong, neither of us have "playthings" we meet lovely people (mostly) and enjoy sex, we talk about our meet ups before and after and discuss things we'd like to explore more and things we'd rather not! Always taking each others feelings into account, Hey Team work makes the dream work  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Might piss alot of people off but an honest opinion.
Is being in a couple just an excuse for the guy to have a plaything thats allowed?
So while ive been looking for a couple its come to my attention that its an excuse for a male to have a plaything with the female agreeing, hence the unicorn status.
Never the other way round where the female wants mmf fun.
Correct me if im wrong but it just seems to be the case "
See, in another thread you started, you highlight how people are not nice to you
At the same time, in the same forum, you start a thread that you say is 'slightly contraversial' and 'might piss people off'
The fact you are running the two threads, at the same time, feeds into my response on the first
Give us a chance to get to know you, to like you. If people get a whiff that you are a wind up merchant, you will get short shrift.
Anyway, back to this thread ...
There are some complex relationships in here
Some couples are undoubtedly here to satisfy the drive of the male half and to legitimise his philandering
That's their business and their dynamic. If it works for them, great. If not, then one, or both, need to call it a day
On the other hand you have couples where the female is very much the driver and the husband takes part
On the site you have 'lifestyle' swingers who have been doing this for years and thoroughly embrace it
On the other hand, you have newbies, just setting out on their journey - a journey that may destroy their coupling or empower it like they wouldn't have ever believed
Wafting a carefree hand and suggesting that women only do it to feed their mans desires isn't contraversial, but it is a somewhat ignorant and arrogant viewpoint |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing could be further from the truth . We enjoy bi mmf ffm and bi or straight mfmf. We both get off watching each other play with the opposite sex and same sex. Watching two guys together is a MASSIVE turn on for me ... |
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"Might piss alot of people off but an honest opinion.
Is being in a couple just an excuse for the guy to have a plaything thats allowed?
So while ive been looking for a couple its come to my attention that its an excuse for a male to have a plaything with the female agreeing, hence the unicorn status.
Never the other way round where the female wants mmf fun.
Correct me if im wrong but it just seems to be the case
See, in another thread you started, you highlight how people are not nice to you
At the same time, in the same forum, you start a thread that you say is 'slightly contraversial' and 'might piss people off'
The fact you are running the two threads, at the same time, feeds into my response on the first
Give us a chance to get to know you, to like you. If people get a whiff that you are a wind up merchant, you will get short shrift.
Anyway, back to this thread ...
There are some complex relationships in here
Some couples are undoubtedly here to satisfy the drive of the male half and to legitimise his philandering
That's their business and their dynamic. If it works for them, great. If not, then one, or both, need to call it a day
On the other hand you have couples where the female is very much the driver and the husband takes part
On the site you have 'lifestyle' swingers who have been doing this for years and thoroughly embrace it
On the other hand, you have newbies, just setting out on their journey - a journey that may destroy their coupling or empower it like they wouldn't have ever believed
Wafting a carefree hand and suggesting that women only do it to feed their mans desires isn't contraversial, but it is a somewhat ignorant and arrogant viewpoint"
Excellent response
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I understand that but since visiting a club recently it seems to be more a what the male wants to do regards having a unicorn or plaything join them.
"
I can't help but wonder whether this is just the way you perceive it. Just because the woman might seem to defer to the man, does not mean that he is calling all the shots, nor that she is not just as into it (if not more so!) than him.
With Clyde, for example, I let him call the shots, partly because he is dom and I am a subby brat, lol, but mainly because he has had far less experience of playing as a couple, and I see it as hugely important that whatever we do, whoever we do it with, it all goes at his pace. A pace which makes him feel comfortable, not nervous and out of his depth - which happens all too often when someone is still exploring the scene.
I could point out how a lot of men simply like to be (heh, sure, keep thinking that!! ?? ) in charge of things.......but that would be grossly unfair on those who don't, and there'd be an argument, and I'd concede that women are just as bad, so we won't go there.   |
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You get people here for many reasons, I don’t think you will actually get a woman honestly saying outright that she’s only here to keep an eye on her partner she’s agreeing on him having other women here because that’s his nature and she wants some control via involvement but I’m sure there will be some woman that are doing just this |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I know the forums are for discussion etc and I'm all for it, but it also never ceases to amaze me the time and energy people put into worrying about what people who don't meet their criteria or who aren't looking for them do rather than focussing on those that will meet them.
Simple fact of the matter OP is *some* people do have relationships like you suggest, but as this thread has shown many others don't.
The joy of this site is it's incredibly diverse with all tastes and flavours catered to, not all of them will be for you  |
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"What about when you see couples profiles and they say, male only playing, which alot do?
That’s because it’s a single guy hiding behind a couples profile. Plenty do it. You’ll see a status like ‘only male playing at the moment’ or ‘I want to arrange some fun for hubby while I’m out at work’. It’s a single guy. "
Not always. Some couples play like this. So are we a single guy hiding behind a couple profile?
OP you are wrong. There are many many variations to how couples swing. If it doesnt fit in with your idea of swinging then just pass them by. You are not compatable. |
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"What about when you see couples profiles and they say, male only playing, which alot do?
That’s because it’s a single guy hiding behind a couples profile. Plenty do it. You’ll see a status like ‘only male playing at the moment’ or ‘I want to arrange some fun for hubby while I’m out at work’. It’s a single guy.
I understand that but since visiting a club recently it seems to be more a what the male wants to do regards having a unicorn or plaything join them.
"
Interested to know which club/club event this was and exactly what gives you this impression. On all our club visits (which are numerous and very varied) have shown us a variety of play situations, but never come away with the assumption that men are the ones running the show. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about when you see couples profiles and they say, male only playing, which alot do?
That’s because it’s a single guy hiding behind a couples profile. Plenty do it. You’ll see a status like ‘only male playing at the moment’ or ‘I want to arrange some fun for hubby while I’m out at work’. It’s a single guy.
I understand that but since visiting a club recently it seems to be more a what the male wants to do regards having a unicorn or plaything join them.
Interested to know which club/club event this was and exactly what gives you this impression. On all our club visits (which are numerous and very varied) have shown us a variety of play situations, but never come away with the assumption that men are the ones running the show."
It’s normally the women taking the initiative! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you need to up your game if you want to be controversial.
Try bareback, weight, racist preference, pineapple on pizza, or bog roll front or back rolled, if you want controversy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about when you see couples profiles and they say, male only playing, which alot do?"
Oh I hate that you get the mail am free today wife out etc. Or am straight but would you suck my cock. Wife is at work.or when I mail. I chat for hrs but it turns out that the wife not playing but I can please him.
That's why I stopped paying for here. No point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes that's true in some cases but not all.
I think it's good to ask questions. There's a lot of misconceptions about swinging.
Between the right people it's amazing. In the right relationship it makes it very much stronger.  |
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"What about when you see couples profiles and they say, male only playing, which alot do?
That’s because it’s a single guy hiding behind a couples profile. Plenty do it. You’ll see a status like ‘only male playing at the moment’ or ‘I want to arrange some fun for hubby while I’m out at work’. It’s a single guy.
I understand that but since visiting a club recently it seems to be more a what the male wants to do regards having a unicorn or plaything join them.
Interested to know which club/club event this was and exactly what gives you this impression. On all our club visits (which are numerous and very varied) have shown us a variety of play situations, but never come away with the assumption that men are the ones running the show.
It’s normally the women taking the initiative!"
Exactly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about when you see couples profiles and they say, male only playing, which alot do?
That’s because it’s a single guy hiding behind a couples profile. Plenty do it. You’ll see a status like ‘only male playing at the moment’ or ‘I want to arrange some fun for hubby while I’m out at work’. It’s a single guy.
I understand that but since visiting a club recently it seems to be more a what the male wants to do regards having a unicorn or plaything join them.
"
Depends on which night you go at some clubs. Some nights it's couples and single women only. So the dynamic will be different as there's no single men. Different people go on different nights. |
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I had been speaking to a couple exchanging messages, spoken to both on the phone, both seemed up for it. This was to be my first mff experience and when I met them it became evident whilst her and I were chatting that she had sometimes been playing just to keep him happy. I suppose it works both ways guys must also do the same.
Better if everyone's on the same page. I dont see how you can get a really great experience if they are not.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you need to up your game if you want to be controversial.
Try bareback, weight, racist preference, pineapple on pizza, or bog roll front or back rolled, if you want controversy. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you need to up your game if you want to be controversial.
Try bareback, weight, racist preference, pineapple on pizza, or bog roll front or back rolled, if you want controversy. "
love it xx |
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I have come across quite a few couples profiles where they are looking for females to join, I don't think it's the male wanting a play mate it's just what they are wanting to experience.
Plus could you imagine the amount of males who would message if they said wanting a male to join them!! If couples are wanting a male to join I'd think they will go looking for themselves which they do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ha... you're very wrong my friend. Try again 
And actually we both want MMF fun... not just me.
OP wasn't addressing you personally."
Does that mean I'm not allowed to answer? Apologies. I didn't realise the forum was that cliquey. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Might piss alot of people off but an honest opinion.
Is being in a couple just an excuse for the guy to have a plaything thats allowed?
So while ive been looking for a couple its come to my attention that its an excuse for a male to have a plaything with the female agreeing, hence the unicorn status.
Never the other way round where the female wants mmf fun.
Correct me if im wrong but it just seems to be the case "
We both love mmf and mfm and are theoretically allowed a plaything each (current playthings 0). |
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"Nothing could be further from the truth . We enjoy bi mmf ffm and bi or straight mfmf. We both get off watching each other play with the opposite sex and same sex. Watching two guys together is a MASSIVE turn on for me ..."
Exactly this
T xx |
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Doesn't seem to fit the bill from what I see but there will always be others who have more options but everything depends on what everyone's preferences are -
Who they'll consider meeting
What people want
What you consider a 'plaything' etc
Best thing for everyone is to honestly focus on how you do your best here, including selling yourself, using the forum to create positive impressions - such as when you are a struggling individual and forming the relationships that others want with you and that work.
Generally people are attracted to others without gimmicks or hidden agendas and preferences are personal and what work for each of us.
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"What about when you see couples profiles and they say, male only playing, which alot do?
That’s because it’s a single guy hiding behind a couples profile. Plenty do it. You’ll see a status like ‘only male playing at the moment’ or ‘I want to arrange some fun for hubby while I’m out at work’. It’s a single guy.
I understand that but since visiting a club recently it seems to be more a what the male wants to do regards having a unicorn or plaything join them.
"
So you've been to every club and seen every couple? Good grief. There are all sorts of dynamics on the scene - people who are here for the wrong reasons and the right.
And stop referring to single women as playthings. So disrespectful. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It was just an observation i made, i admit im quite new on here, so finding my feet really. The plaything wasnt meant as a direct insult to single woman either. Im currently searching for mmf fun but seem to be missing the trick really and just assumed that single women found it easier. Thats probably because im male and like someone said earlier the amount of messages they would receive off men in general. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Might piss alot of people off but an honest opinion.
Is being in a couple just an excuse for the guy to have a plaything thats allowed?
So while ive been looking for a couple its come to my attention that its an excuse for a male to have a plaything with the female agreeing, hence the unicorn status.
Never the other way round where the female wants mmf fun.
Correct me if im wrong but it just seems to be the case "
I think you don't really understand the dynamics of being in a couple let alone the myriad of dynamics swinging in couples can have.
The scenario you describe exists but it's far from the norm |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wrong, our profile state were after couples and single guys, not fems.
Whilst we have, and will happily, play with single fems we don't specifically look for them and much prefer group play and occasionally mfm.
The only single ladies we look for are ones who enjoy the cuckqueen /cuckcake scenario, and that means it's for all of our enjoyment not just his. |
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