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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Lots of disabilities are unseen ..
But what your opinion OP how do you feel on the subject.."
I don't really have an opinion
More a reaction to a situation in the gym over the weekend
There was a guy in a motorised chair who had some things to contend with - lack of lower mobility, speech issues
He asked me to pull some weights down so he work with them and then later, he asked if I'd secure his wee bag for him
I was uncomfortable in doing it, but I did it
I was watching others in the gym giving him a wide berth cos he was asking for help in accessing equipment
Only one other bloke helped him
I've thought about it a lot since
I figured people were uncomfortable with it and knocked myself for not being more pro-active in helping him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of disabilities are unseen ..
But what your opinion OP how do you feel on the subject..
I don't really have an opinion
More a reaction to a situation in the gym over the weekend
There was a guy in a motorised chair who had some things to contend with - lack of lower mobility, speech issues
He asked me to pull some weights down so he work with them and then later, he asked if I'd secure his wee bag for him
I was uncomfortable in doing it, but I did it
I was watching others in the gym giving him a wide berth cos he was asking for help in accessing equipment
Only one other bloke helped him
I've thought about it a lot since
I figured people were uncomfortable with it and knocked myself for not being more pro-active in helping him "
I’m sure he appreciated the help you gave, as you saw many don’t! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of disabilities are unseen ..
But what your opinion OP how do you feel on the subject..
I don't really have an opinion
More a reaction to a situation in the gym over the weekend
There was a guy in a motorised chair who had some things to contend with - lack of lower mobility, speech issues
He asked me to pull some weights down so he work with them and then later, he asked if I'd secure his wee bag for him
I was uncomfortable in doing it, but I did it
I was watching others in the gym giving him a wide berth cos he was asking for help in accessing equipment
Only one other bloke helped him
I've thought about it a lot since
I figured people were uncomfortable with it and knocked myself for not being more pro-active in helping him "
Mate that was I really kind thing you did. Get to know him, he'd love that. Might shake those others into a re-think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My sister has cerebral palsy and has problems with speech. People can be awful as she is visibly disabled. She can be ignored or patronised or ridiculed on a daily basis. Her line of work seems to attract arseholes so she's often around shit heads. She has a few lovely friends who stick up for her, but they are the exception. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No infact i will go out of my way to help disabled and vunerable people. Its a sad state of affairs when disabled people are treated differently soley because of a disablility. It doesnt matter on size, shape, colour, sexual orientation or disability people are people and one small act of kindness done by you could be the difference between someone killing themselves or bettering themselves. Even if it makes them happy for 2 mins it cost you nothing so why not do it |
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"No infact i will go out of my way to help disabled and vunerable people. Its a sad state of affairs when disabled people are treated differently soley because of a disablility. It doesnt matter on size, shape, colour, sexual orientation or disability people are people and one small act of kindness done by you could be the difference between someone killing themselves or bettering themselves. Even if it makes them happy for 2 mins it cost you nothing so why not do it "
Well said sir I take my hat off to you if everyone had the same thought the world would be a better place |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I think a lot of people are uncomfortable around people with disabilities. As with everything, the more familiar you become with something the more comfortable you feel around it.
I have shocked people by being rude to someone with a disability. They were being an arse, I knew them and didn't feel the need to treat them with kid gloves because of their disability.
Bussy, helping with the gym equipment would have been fine with me. Helping with the bag would have felt too intimate and I might have had a conversation about that before helping. For some that would be the wrong response. I'm comfortable with my level of discomfort.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No infact i will go out of my way to help disabled and vunerable people. Its a sad state of affairs when disabled people are treated differently soley because of a disablility. It doesnt matter on size, shape, colour, sexual orientation or disability people are people and one small act of kindness done by you could be the difference between someone killing themselves or bettering themselves. Even if it makes them happy for 2 mins it cost you nothing so why not do it "
For those that note i excluded religion. If my imaginary friend called dave told me to murder you and your children and plunder your wife and i did it am i crazy or just religious? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People are people. Some need help with some things, others need help with others. We're all the same really.
I do think people can get nervous around disabilities because they are worried about saying or doing something which might offend, they forget they're just a person who probably deals with much worse. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of people are uncomfortable around people with disabilities. As with everything, the more familiar you become with something the more comfortable you feel around it.
I have shocked people by being rude to someone with a disability. They were being an arse, I knew them and didn't feel the need to treat them with kid gloves because of their disability.
Bussy, helping with the gym equipment would have been fine with me. Helping with the bag would have felt too intimate and I might have had a conversation about that before helping. For some that would be the wrong response. I'm comfortable with my level of discomfort.
"
I had a 3 second conversation with myself
Outwardly I was like 'yeah course I will mate'
Inwardly my head was going 'fuck, fuck, fuck, he wants me to sort the bag of piss out'
I felt awful for feeling that way - I should have been able to do it without the thinking
It's not my normal, he was a stranger not a loved one - those are the only justifications I can come up with |
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"I think a lot of people are uncomfortable around people with disabilities. As with everything, the more familiar you become with something the more comfortable you feel around it.
I have shocked people by being rude to someone with a disability. They were being an arse, I knew them and didn't feel the need to treat them with kid gloves because of their disability.
Bussy, helping with the gym equipment would have been fine with me. Helping with the bag would have felt too intimate and I might have had a conversation about that before helping. For some that would be the wrong response. I'm comfortable with my level of discomfort.
I had a 3 second conversation with myself
Outwardly I was like 'yeah course I will mate'
Inwardly my head was going 'fuck, fuck, fuck, he wants me to sort the bag of piss out'
I felt awful for feeling that way - I should have been able to do it without the thinking
It's not my normal, he was a stranger not a loved one - those are the only justifications I can come up with"
dont be silly a lot of people would have felt uncomfortable in that situation |
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I’m uncomfortable if I dont know how they got it so I always start open conversation and ask them how it happened. Everyone always have been open to talk about their disability and in some sort of way I bond in this way and we always end up talking about life etc There is a lot of disabled people at gym I’m going to and it’s great to be open and see diversity  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I think a lot of people are uncomfortable around people with disabilities. As with everything, the more familiar you become with something the more comfortable you feel around it.
I have shocked people by being rude to someone with a disability. They were being an arse, I knew them and didn't feel the need to treat them with kid gloves because of their disability.
Bussy, helping with the gym equipment would have been fine with me. Helping with the bag would have felt too intimate and I might have had a conversation about that before helping. For some that would be the wrong response. I'm comfortable with my level of discomfort.
I had a 3 second conversation with myself
Outwardly I was like 'yeah course I will mate'
Inwardly my head was going 'fuck, fuck, fuck, he wants me to sort the bag of piss out'
I felt awful for feeling that way - I should have been able to do it without the thinking
It's not my normal, he was a stranger not a loved one - those are the only justifications I can come up with"
That all sounds fine and normal to me. The thread is full of wonderful, altruistic people but we're not all built the same. You did it, that's the important bit. Well done.
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"Nobody is going to come on here and admit to being uncomfortable around people with disabilities, are they? "
I was very uncomfortable because I didn't know how to act or how to treat a disabled person |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
I’m reasonably comfortable in general, like Lickety I may have enquired a little more before dealing with his bag per se but likely to have helped. I would happily advocate also if he needed help asking the staff for further support whilst at the gym though so as to ensure barriers are removed for future.
I also subscribe to the social model of disability where an individual’s impairments become disabling by the lack of inherent structured support in society already, and would look to challenge the status quo so everyone can be supported to get on/have access/support whatever their circumstances. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nobody is going to come on here and admit to being uncomfortable around people with disabilities, are they?
I was very uncomfortable because I didn't know how to act or how to treat a disabled person "
No different from how you would treat anybody else , the only thing you might need to adapt is how you communicate |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’d caveat that it’s unlikely I’d have been in the gym in the first place as I’m a lazy arse and all kudos to you, Bussy - for helping and for being at the gym  "
Oh, I ain't no gym bunny
I take little pleasure in it
I go so the Docs don't pump me full of any more mid life fat person meds  |
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Yep I'm uncomfortable around *some* disabled people. If I can't understand what someone with speech impairment is saying, if I'm not sure how or if to help a visually impaired person things like that. It doesn't mean I'm a bad person.
For the record I'd feel uncomfortable if a stranger asked me to help with personal care whether or not they were disabled but I'd still do it if I was able and they weren't. I'd also try my best not to show my discomfort. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I’d caveat that it’s unlikely I’d have been in the gym in the first place as I’m a lazy arse and all kudos to you, Bussy - for helping and for being at the gym
Oh, I ain't no gym bunny
I take little pleasure in it
I go so the Docs don't pump me full of any more mid life fat person meds "
Still impressed.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of people are uncomfortable around people with disabilities. As with everything, the more familiar you become with something the more comfortable you feel around it.
I have shocked people by being rude to someone with a disability. They were being an arse, I knew them and didn't feel the need to treat them with kid gloves because of their disability.
Bussy, helping with the gym equipment would have been fine with me. Helping with the bag would have felt too intimate and I might have had a conversation about that before helping. For some that would be the wrong response. I'm comfortable with my level of discomfort.
I had a 3 second conversation with myself
Outwardly I was like 'yeah course I will mate'
Inwardly my head was going 'fuck, fuck, fuck, he wants me to sort the bag of piss out'
I felt awful for feeling that way - I should have been able to do it without the thinking
It's not my normal, he was a stranger not a loved one - those are the only justifications I can come up with"
I imagine I would have had a very similar reaction to you. It would have been something I hadn’t dealt with before and though I would wish to be helpful I would be concerned just simply because it was unfamiliar. Next time it won’t be unfamiliar and you’ll respond differently. |
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"I’d caveat that it’s unlikely I’d have been in the gym in the first place as I’m a lazy arse and all kudos to you, Bussy - for helping and for being at the gym
Oh, I ain't no gym bunny
I take little pleasure in it
I go so the Docs don't pump me full of any more mid life fat person meds "
 ah the glamour of maturity |
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"Nobody is going to come on here and admit to being uncomfortable around people with disabilities, are they?
I was very uncomfortable because I didn't know how to act or how to treat a disabled person
No different from how you would treat anybody else , the only thing you might need to adapt is how you communicate "
Like IV said previously I have a disabled daughter we've seen first hand how rude ppl can be, thing is it's mostly adults that are the worste |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The only concern i havebis why werent the staff taking him round and helping him"
Nope - tbh it seems understaffed
It's a council run leisure centre
I think I've seen a member of staff in the gym about a dozen times in the 9 months I've been going
They all seem to work mainly round the pool areas
I also tend to go out of hours due to my shift at work - so maybe there is someone there 9-5 ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm classed as disabled due to two conditions, neither of which I would say are visible to people who don't know about them.
I've experienced prejudice and stereotyping due to them, if people are aware of them beforehand.
It frustrates me that people make assumptions when they don't know an individual, and it's frightening how ignorant people are to different disabilities.
If i mentioned one of the things that means I'm classed as disabled, many people would be uncomfortable and would make judgements avout me
It is so sad that anyone would be uncomfortable with any disability, but that's the world we live in I guess.
People should be proud to be themselves.
That guy at the gym had every right to ask for help and it must be horrible when people try and avoid interaction with you. If someone asked for help and I could provide it I would be only too happy to. |
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"I'm classed as disabled due to two conditions, neither of which I would say are visible to people who don't know about them.
I've experienced prejudice and stereotyping due to them, if people are aware of them beforehand.
It frustrates me that people make assumptions when they don't know an individual, and it's frightening how ignorant people are to different disabilities.
If i mentioned one of the things that means I'm classed as disabled, many people would be uncomfortable and would make judgements avout me
It is so sad that anyone would be uncomfortable with any disability, but that's the world we live in I guess.
People should be proud to be themselves.
That guy at the gym had every right to ask for help and it must be horrible when people try and avoid interaction with you. If someone asked for help and I could provide it I would be only too happy to. "
I'm uncomfortable in certain social situations if I'm not sure how to act. I'm human, it doesn't mean I'm unkind or avoid the people I'm with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of disabilities are unseen ..
But what your opinion OP how do you feel on the subject..
I don't really have an opinion
More a reaction to a situation in the gym over the weekend
There was a guy in a motorised chair who had some things to contend with - lack of lower mobility, speech issues
He asked me to pull some weights down so he work with them and then later, he asked if I'd secure his wee bag for him
I was uncomfortable in doing it, but I did it
I was watching others in the gym giving him a wide berth cos he was asking for help in accessing equipment
Only one other bloke helped him
I've thought about it a lot since
I figured people were uncomfortable with it and knocked myself for not being more pro-active in helping him "
Tbf im uncomfortable with anyone i dont know asking me for help in the gym |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No infact i will go out of my way to help disabled and vunerable people. Its a sad state of affairs when disabled people are treated differently soley because of a disablility. It doesnt matter on size, shape, colour, sexual orientation or disability people are people and one small act of kindness done by you could be the difference between someone killing themselves or bettering themselves. Even if it makes them happy for 2 mins it cost you nothing so why not do it "
Totally this xx well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In relation to the op though, yeah. Namely downs syndrome and other mental deficiencies*. I view the world through the lens of my intellect, i find it not upsetting to see people who are unable to have that aspect, but i suppose for me its s reflection of one of my biggest fears.
My ability to think the way i do defines me to myself. Looking at what might have been makes me confront that.
It just makes me wish i could help
* no negative connotation intended i just dont know a more accurate word |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No infact i will go out of my way to help disabled and vunerable people. Its a sad state of affairs when disabled people are treated differently soley because of a disablility. "
So you go out of your way to treat disables people differently soley because thier disabled while also being upset that people treat disabled people differently soley for being disabled? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would have been ok helping him in any way. I've done double incontinence care and physio on a disabled person. I probably would struggle more with the gym equipment and would be the one needing help though.
I might even have gone round with him to give him the support he asked for ( any excuse to dodge my workout) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No infact i will go out of my way to help disabled and vunerable people. Its a sad state of affairs when disabled people are treated differently soley because of a disablility.
So you go out of your way to treat disables people differently soley because thier disabled while also being upset that people treat disabled people differently soley for being disabled?"
If they need it or ask for it yes. If someone asks me for help then if i can i will regardless of disability or not. Its not treating people differently its treating people how id want someone to treat me.
The general population these days is embarrassing. People are far to interested in thinking of themselves and their phones than doing something for someone else. Look at the crime stats. How many people are robbed and forced into sex (cant use the r word) in broad daylight yet nobody saw anything and nobody intervenes in the situation. |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"I think a lot of people are uncomfortable around people with disabilities. As with everything, the more familiar you become with something the more comfortable you feel around it.
I have shocked people by being rude to someone with a disability. They were being an arse, I knew them and didn't feel the need to treat them with kid gloves because of their disability.
Bussy, helping with the gym equipment would have been fine with me. Helping with the bag would have felt too intimate and I might have had a conversation about that before helping. For some that would be the wrong response. I'm comfortable with my level of discomfort.
I had a 3 second conversation with myself
Outwardly I was like 'yeah course I will mate'
Inwardly my head was going 'fuck, fuck, fuck, he wants me to sort the bag of piss out'
I felt awful for feeling that way - I should have been able to do it without the thinking
It's not my normal, he was a stranger not a loved one - those are the only justifications I can come up with"
My reaction would have been the same, but probably because, well, it's a bag of pee.
I genuinely have more issue dealing with vacuous egocentric arseholes than those with disabilities.. the former have less humanity. Although my experience with people with disabilities is far more limited than many on here I have always treated everyone as if there was no disability. Being straight forward and without seeming to be over the top towards them is more me (the latter approach I find uncomfortable) Hmm. Reading that, I'm not sure it makes sense or had come out how I meant.. happy to discuss..
Conjoined twins do weird me out though.. always have from being a child  |
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I don't get why it's bad to feel uncomfortable in a situation you haven't been faced with before though.
My mum's quite severely disabled nowadays so I'd be quite comfortable with someone with mobility issues because I'd know what to do. My father is visually impaired but as grumpy as hell if offered help by a stranger I bet he's made one or two people feel uncomfortable in his time.
I think it's OK to feel uncomfortable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I don't get why it's bad to feel uncomfortable in a situation you haven't been faced with before though.
My mum's quite severely disabled nowadays so I'd be quite comfortable with someone with mobility issues because I'd know what to do. My father is visually impaired but as grumpy as hell if offered help by a stranger I bet he's made one or two people feel uncomfortable in his time.
I think it's OK to feel uncomfortable. "
I agree. I'd feel uncomfortable and I don't see why people think that's an issue.
Perhaps they are perfect. |
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