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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Have you? Would you?
Ive been seeing someone(not from here) since August.
Its all got very intense and has been a bit of a rollercoaster at times to say the least.
We have agreed that it's time to finish things because there's too much going on for us both to be able to make it work out in the way we want it to.
We have decided to have a "final encounter " on Friday.
While i can't wait to see him, im actually worried this could be a disaster.
So my question is have you done this and was it a good idea?
Or am I being a bit of an idiot?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you? Would you?
Ive been seeing someone(not from here) since August.
Its all got very intense and has been a bit of a rollercoaster at times to say the least.
We have agreed that it's time to finish things because there's too much going on for us both to be able to make it work out in the way we want it to.
We have decided to have a "final encounter " on Friday.
While i can't wait to see him, im actually worried this could be a disaster.
So my question is have you done this and was it a good idea?
Or am I being a bit of an idiot?!"
No I would not do it.
Leave it as it is |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I've never had a 'final encounter' as such. I've had an ex where we couldn't leave each other alone and met, even though we'd split up. In retrospect, they were quite confused and emotional meets (for me at least) as I wanted things to continue. In these situations a clean break is usually best, in my opinion at least. |
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It's tough as there was a girl in my past that I still have feelings for even to this day, who wanted me to stay for the weekend in her new flat. I was just starting to date a new girl at the time who went on to be my Wife (now ex-wife) so I decided it would be best to make a clean break.
But if I could go back... Hello new flat, it's lovely...is this the bedroom ?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all your comments .
I think for me there's still things that need to happen for me to feel better about the situation.
However I do worry about the ability to keep my emotions in check and will we feel worse after?
Will it be this amazing thing to go with out on a high that we both seek. Or will be it be tears and regrets.
Ultimately I've already decided I'm going and won't back out. I suppose I'm scared that he might or that somewhere along the line I become a regret instead of just a lovely memory |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Have you? Would you?
Ive been seeing someone(not from here) since August.
Its all got very intense and has been a bit of a rollercoaster at times to say the least.
We have agreed that it's time to finish things because there's too much going on for us both to be able to make it work out in the way we want it to.
We have decided to have a "final encounter " on Friday.
While i can't wait to see him, im actually worried this could be a disaster.
So my question is have you done this and was it a good idea?
Or am I being a bit of an idiot?!
No I would not do it.
Leave it as it is"
This x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would need some sort of closure, if I didn't have it then I would need the meet to get it."
That's how I see it. Closure. A proper ending rather than just being left at the top of the rollercoaster trying to get down safely! |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"I would need some sort of closure, if I didn't have it then I would need the meet to get it.
That's how I see it. Closure. A proper ending rather than just being left at the top of the rollercoaster trying to get down safely!"
 |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"I would need some sort of closure, if I didn't have it then I would need the meet to get it.
That's how I see it. Closure. A proper ending rather than just being left at the top of the rollercoaster trying to get down safely!"
You both saying that it's time to finish things would be enough closure for me.
Sounds like you've got the feels  |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I would need some sort of closure, if I didn't have it then I would need the meet to get it."
I agree. I’d caveat that you need to be really open and ready to work with the fact that whilst you may be clear on how you’re handling it, or how you want it to happen that the other person may not be or have different needs/thoughts. Goodbyes are not easy and we all bring prior un*conscious (and conscious) experiences of goodbyes resolved and unresolved to them. Make sure you look after yourself and have plans for dealing with how you feel after, just in case. However, I agree that closure is also really important and can be done in a really healthy way. Hope it goes well. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would need some sort of closure, if I didn't have it then I would need the meet to get it.
That's how I see it. Closure. A proper ending rather than just being left at the top of the rollercoaster trying to get down safely!
You both saying that it's time to finish things would be enough closure for me.
Sounds like you've got the feels "
We definitely have which is ok but it's also not a great time for it to have happened and logistically it's too tricky x |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I've done that. It didn't help, it just made things even more confusing and painful. "
This.
Emotions don't follow logic or the dictates of reason unfortunately.
I hope that things work out positively for you OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my experience if your thing is so intense that it needs a final encounter, it won't be a final encounter.
I had literally dozens of final encounters with one person in particular, always me being the one that said it was final. In the end I don't even remember the final time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you’re going to end it. You should end it. There’s no such thing as a final encounter. You’re only going to end up hurting yourself if you do that.
The heart is a delicate thing (as cheesy as that sounds)
 |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"I would need some sort of closure, if I didn't have it then I would need the meet to get it.
That's how I see it. Closure. A proper ending rather than just being left at the top of the rollercoaster trying to get down safely!
You both saying that it's time to finish things would be enough closure for me.
Sounds like you've got the feels
We definitely have which is ok but it's also not a great time for it to have happened and logistically it's too tricky x"
Well it's never going to be easy....I feel for you! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you’re going to end it. You should end it. There’s no such thing as a final encounter. You’re only going to end up hurting yourself if you do that.
The heart is a delicate thing (as cheesy as that sounds)
"
It's also a complete liability |
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