FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Settling for second best?
Settling for second best?
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By *ezebel OP Woman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
Someone contacts you and their profile shows that they are obviously looking for a particular kind of play.
You reply thats its not your kind of thing and they say its ok, they wont play that way when they meet with you.
Assuming everything else was ok would you go ahead and meet them, or would you feel that they were just settling for second best and not really getting what they wanted? |
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mmmmmmmm interesting question., i dont say how i like to play on my profile although i say what ive done and my interests. I seriously dont think i play the same with any two guys, certainly not the regulars i see. Think thats why i like the variety of regular guys as they all bring a different part of my sexual persona to the table |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone contacts you and their profile shows that they are obviously looking for a particular kind of play.
You reply thats its not your kind of thing and they say its ok, they wont play that way when they meet with you.
Assuming everything else was ok would you go ahead and meet them, or would you feel that they were just settling for second best and not really getting what they wanted?"
I tend to also read their profile and for instance, they say they won't meet smokers, I send a polite message saying they had already discounted me so thanks, but no thanks, as I don't want to feel uncomfortable in my own home, or if I see they say they bareback I decline so...lol... no I won't meet as I feel I pick my meets and I won't sell myself short just to get a bit of cock....sorry if that's a bit blunt.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we have had contact off people saying they are searching for bi fems, and after pointing out we are a couple thye say that will do.
cant help but feel the whole night would be them and Em, with me left twiddling my thumbs, or something else lol.
so, dont think we would, no. wouldnt want to be something for someone to do when they have no one else. |
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By *ezebel OP Woman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"
I tend to also read their profile and for instance, they say they won't meet smokers, I send a polite message saying they had already discounted me so thanks, but no thanks, as I don't want to feel uncomfortable in my own home, or if I see they say they bareback I decline so...lol... no I won't meet as I feel I pick my meets and I won't sell myself short just to get a bit of cock....sorry if that's a bit blunt. "
I was thinking more of things such as D/S, fetish, watersports or whatever when their profile makes it pretty obvious that is what they are looking for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
I don't think I would want to meet up with anyone that had very different ideas of fun than I did,they may well be lovely but if a profile only mentions a certain type of play then I would question why they wanted to meet up with me if I was'nt into the same 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I tend to also read their profile and for instance, they say they won't meet smokers, I send a polite message saying they had already discounted me so thanks, but no thanks, as I don't want to feel uncomfortable in my own home, or if I see they say they bareback I decline so...lol... no I won't meet as I feel I pick my meets and I won't sell myself short just to get a bit of cock....sorry if that's a bit blunt.
I was thinking more of things such as D/S, fetish, watersports or whatever when their profile makes it pretty obvious that is what they are looking for"
fair do, if they were looking for things I wasn't interested in, in any way, I wouldn't meet, no matter how stunning I may have thought they were, as if the "click" isn't there it wouldn't be worth more than a one off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My playmates are on various "points" on my D/s scale. As long as they are submissive, hot, fit and float my boat I'll meet them whether they're into watersports or not.
However, if I read someone's profile and they stated they were dying to try watersports, where are the women that like it, but they had an upper age limit of 40 and no bbws I wouldn't meet them. Obviously they would be lowering (their) standards, doesn't mean I'd lower mine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unlikely.... if their turn ons and mine are very different, I can't help thinking that one of us would more than likely be unsatisfied, so why bother, when there are plenty of like minded individuals to play with! |
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By *ezebel OP Woman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"Unlikely.... if their turn ons and mine are very different, I can't help thinking that one of us would more than likely be unsatisfied, so why bother, when there are plenty of like minded individuals to play with!"
Thats my feeling on it exactly!
I was told I was being unreasonable because they had said they were willing to not do the particular thing there profile said they were very interested in, but I wouldnt want to meet if either party going to feel unsatisfied.
I said no anyway... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unlikely.... if their turn ons and mine are very different, I can't help thinking that one of us would more than likely be unsatisfied, so why bother, when there are plenty of like minded individuals to play with!
Thats my feeling on it exactly!
I was told I was being unreasonable because they had said they were willing to not do the particular thing there profile said they were very interested in, but I wouldnt want to meet if either party going to feel unsatisfied.
I said no anyway..."
Wise |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am bi and meet couples with john ... and not always the ladys bi .... and thats fine as long as i know ... its not me making them feel second best .. its whats right at the time x x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a bloke, I like sex. No sex is bad sex......
I love certain types of play, but if the other person isn't into that type of play or isn't willing to try it, hey ho, I'll have great sex with them with the kinks that they DO have.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone contacts you and their profile shows that they are obviously looking for a particular kind of play.
You reply thats its not your kind of thing and they say its ok, they wont play that way when they meet with you.
Assuming everything else was ok would you go ahead and meet them, or would you feel that they were just settling for second best and not really getting what they wanted?"
I would give him a miss personally but no harm in chatting to find out more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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assuming a sex meet as opposed to a social one, it all depends how much i fancied them and how horny i was
if i thought they were just ok, then i'd probably give um a miss
if i thought they were drop dead gorgeous then yeah
it is after all, them that is lowering the bar, not me |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
its an interesting question in the fact that I have been contacted by people who for example have "no black guys" on their profile... or have said "fit guys only".. and my reaction to that is "are you sure you mean me??" and it does take a lot of convincing....
if we mean being 2nd best as in "someone else wasn't available/there choice was bad (timewaster) so we will have them instead!" then I will and have told people in the past where to go.......  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone contacts you and their profile shows that they are obviously looking for a particular kind of play.
You reply thats its not your kind of thing and they say its ok, they wont play that way when they meet with you.
Assuming everything else was ok would you go ahead and meet them, or would you feel that they were just settling for second best and not really getting what they wanted?"
yeah id still meet them if it was only the play thing that was an issue, ive met a few guys who say they are after subs on their profile but have made it clear im not sub but so long as they respect that id be happyn to meet as i dont feel thats second best, we all have our likes, i like water sports but i dont feel it a must on every meet nor do i feel guys i meet who dont like water sports as second best meets as i like variety and im sure others do too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people list them as interests and some people list them as things they want to do. Doesn't mean every single meet they have will include all those things so if someone does message you and they like something you don't, still doesn't mean they expect you to do it.
So I say be open and don't decline them till you know what they want to do with you. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"Someone contacts you and their profile shows that they are obviously looking for a particular kind of play.
You reply thats its not your kind of thing and they say its ok, they wont play that way when they meet with you.
Assuming everything else was ok would you go ahead and meet them, or would you feel that they were just settling for second best and not really getting what they wanted?"
Would really depend on how much we liked the look and sound of them.
We have met people before with different interests and kinks to us and found it wasn't a problem.
We don't always play the same way ourselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep I'd have no problem with that
People adapt to different situations
Even in a relationship there are differences in sexual tastes
So it's going to be the same in swinging
That's why people adapt
If someone wasn't in to what I'm in to
I wouldn't feel as though I or them were second best because of it xx |
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