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Virtue signalling
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
This is a fairly regular accusation pointed at people on the forums but what does it mean to you?
Do you honestly believe that you've never done it? That you hold true to all of your values, even in the face of that hot person that you really want to impress (after all its just words on a screen).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words"
And lamppost pissing (I even googled it and still don’t know) |
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I don’t think I have ever agreed with someone’s view or changed mine to suit theirs just because they are good looking, if our opinions and views match then that is great but it’s not something I would do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I often roll my eyes at the guys who send messages trying to sell themselves by pointing out the flaws of others.
They often list the behaviours they won't display and talk of "those sleazy guys" as if every other man on the site is some kind of troll.
They need to learn confidence and selling yourself as an individual is much more attractive. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words"
Virtue signalling- (to me) it's stating a viewpoint that you don't necessarily hold with simply because it's the 'correct' view to have.
Breadcrumbing- stringing someone along with short, non committal and intermittent messages with the intent of keeping their attention.
Gaslighting- making someone believe that their opinion or feelings are wrong, contrary to evidence or their impressions of a situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Virtue signalling is essentially useless, it’s usually got nothing to do with a good cause, but more to do with showing how much of a more moral person than you are than everyone else. People tend to be very selective on what they virtue signal about, laughably so sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dunno what it is to be honest "
If only there was a device to find out, something you could hold in your hand maybe. But experts warn that’s a long way off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
Virtue signalling- (to me) it's stating a viewpoint that you don't necessarily hold with simply because it's the 'correct' view to have.
Breadcrumbing- stringing someone along with short, non committal and intermittent messages with the intent of keeping their attention.
Gaslighting- making someone believe that their opinion or feelings are wrong, contrary to evidence or their impressions of a situation. "
Ah I see. In that case. No I’ve never done it and never will. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dunno what it is to be honest
If only there was a device to find out, something you could hold in your hand maybe. But experts warn that’s a long way off. "
It has been proved wrong only yesterday so il pass on the hard graft
Ignorance is bliss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
Virtue signalling- (to me) it's stating a viewpoint that you don't necessarily hold with simply because it's the 'correct' view to have.
Breadcrumbing- stringing someone along with short, non committal and intermittent messages with the intent of keeping their attention.
Gaslighting- making someone believe that their opinion or feelings are wrong, contrary to evidence or their impressions of a situation. "
oooooh arse kissing no i dont do that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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White Knights usually arw gietie signallers. On the forums it's usually guys with no veris (i know I can talk) who are so desperate to meet then they will blow smoke up a womans arse. They will even attack you if you and that woman are having a convo but disagreeing because they want to be seen as the White Knight. "Now I defended your honor melady sleep with me"
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I often roll my eyes at the guys who send messages trying to sell themselves by pointing out the flaws of others.
They often list the behaviours they won't display and talk of "those sleazy guys" as if every other man on the site is some kind of troll.
They need to learn confidence and selling yourself as an individual is much more attractive. "
Also see various threads where folks lament other guys being so very terrible by sending cock pics or being aggressive or rude etc.
Of course this thread could be construed as virtue signalling... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to be me. I express beliefs on here that I genuinely hold to be true. I dont mind being the one in the crowd that expresses the unpopular opinion if its something I truly believe. Am I guarded? Sure. Do I have my faults? Yep and happy to talk about them and own them when I do fuck up. But I'll still always keep expressing my opinions and not change my beliefs to be popular/ part of the crowd/ liked by anyone. If you do that they are liking the mask and not the 'you'. For some that's ok. Genuinely accepted defence mechanism or attitude towards self promotion. Not for me. |
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"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
Virtue signalling- (to me) it's stating a viewpoint that you don't necessarily hold with simply because it's the 'correct' view to have.
Breadcrumbing- stringing someone along with short, non committal and intermittent messages with the intent of keeping their attention.
Gaslighting- making someone believe that their opinion or feelings are wrong, contrary to evidence or their impressions of a situation. "
thankyou i certainly dont do it  |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"White Knights usually arw gietie signallers. On the forums it's usually guys with no veris (i know I can talk) who are so desperate to meet then they will blow smoke up a womans arse. They will even attack you if you and that woman are having a convo but disagreeing because they want to be seen as the White Knight. "Now I defended your honor melady sleep with me"
"
I think that white knighting is different. Often though, both accusations are levelled by single guys at other single guys, usually as a form of virtue signalling in its own right... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try to be me. I express beliefs on here that I genuinely hold to be true. I dont mind being the one in the crowd that expresses the unpopular opinion if its something I truly believe. Am I guarded? Sure. Do I have my faults? Yep and happy to talk about them and own them when I do fuck up. But I'll still always keep expressing my opinions and not change my beliefs to be popular/ part of the crowd/ liked by anyone. If you do that they are liking the mask and not the 'you'. For some that's ok. Genuinely accepted defence mechanism or attitude towards self promotion. Not for me. "
 . You can join me in the unpopular opinion crowd if you like |
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"I try to be me. I express beliefs on here that I genuinely hold to be true. I dont mind being the one in the crowd that expresses the unpopular opinion if its something I truly believe. Am I guarded? Sure. Do I have my faults? Yep and happy to talk about them and own them when I do fuck up. But I'll still always keep expressing my opinions and not change my beliefs to be popular/ part of the crowd/ liked by anyone. If you do that they are liking the mask and not the 'you'. For some that's ok. Genuinely accepted defence mechanism or attitude towards self promotion. Not for me. "
Exactly, you can’t keep up the pretence of being something you aren’t, I would rather be truthful and if I stand out for it then so be it
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"This is a fairly regular accusation pointed at people on the forums but what does it mean to you?
Do you honestly believe that you've never done it? That you hold true to all of your values, even in the face of that hot person that you really want to impress (after all its just words on a screen).
"
I have used the phrase virtue signalling. From your post it doesn't seem to mean the same thing to you as it does to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try to be me. I express beliefs on here that I genuinely hold to be true. I dont mind being the one in the crowd that expresses the unpopular opinion if its something I truly believe. Am I guarded? Sure. Do I have my faults? Yep and happy to talk about them and own them when I do fuck up. But I'll still always keep expressing my opinions and not change my beliefs to be popular/ part of the crowd/ liked by anyone. If you do that they are liking the mask and not the 'you'. For some that's ok. Genuinely accepted defence mechanism or attitude towards self promotion. Not for me.
. You can join me in the unpopular opinion crowd if you like "
Can I |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try to be me. I express beliefs on here that I genuinely hold to be true. I dont mind being the one in the crowd that expresses the unpopular opinion if its something I truly believe. Am I guarded? Sure. Do I have my faults? Yep and happy to talk about them and own them when I do fuck up. But I'll still always keep expressing my opinions and not change my beliefs to be popular/ part of the crowd/ liked by anyone. If you do that they are liking the mask and not the 'you'. For some that's ok. Genuinely accepted defence mechanism or attitude towards self promotion. Not for me.
. You can join me in the unpopular opinion crowd if you like
Can I "
You get my real ones! I hold back on here |
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"Virtue signalling is essentially useless, it’s usually got nothing to do with a good cause, but more to do with showing how much of a more moral person than you are than everyone else. People tend to be very selective on what they virtue signal about, laughably so sometimes. "
This is what it means to me.
I've had 'discussions' on here .... let's say it might be my opinon on something and someone goes.... How dare you I don't agree with you I give to charity, I love kittens, I love God and I am nice to the poor so you MUST be wrong....
Well ......that's it paraphrased really
They have no opinion to counterbalance yours so they come back with how lovely they are ergo they must be right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I, and my profile are pretty straight forward. My opinions and preferences are not always popular but I stand by them because they are me, nobody else. Clashing with others is all part of the natural process of selection. We simply can't be everyone's cup of tea and why would you want to be... best thing is to find those that truly get you, not pretend to. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"This is a fairly regular accusation pointed at people on the forums but what does it mean to you?
Do you honestly believe that you've never done it? That you hold true to all of your values, even in the face of that hot person that you really want to impress (after all its just words on a screen).
I have used the phrase virtue signalling. From your post it doesn't seem to mean the same thing to you as it does to me. "
What does it mean to you? I'm not claiming to have the definitive answers, that's why I asked the question. |
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"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
Virtue signalling- (to me) it's stating a viewpoint that you don't necessarily hold with simply because it's the 'correct' view to have.
Breadcrumbing- stringing someone along with short, non committal and intermittent messages with the intent of keeping their attention.
Gaslighting- making someone believe that their opinion or feelings are wrong, contrary to evidence or their impressions of a situation.
Ah I see. In that case. No I’ve never done it and never will. "
I think you WILL Nora cos I pick rubbish up off the floor and so I know you will!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try to be me. I express beliefs on here that I genuinely hold to be true. I dont mind being the one in the crowd that expresses the unpopular opinion if its something I truly believe. Am I guarded? Sure. Do I have my faults? Yep and happy to talk about them and own them when I do fuck up. But I'll still always keep expressing my opinions and not change my beliefs to be popular/ part of the crowd/ liked by anyone. If you do that they are liking the mask and not the 'you'. For some that's ok. Genuinely accepted defence mechanism or attitude towards self promotion. Not for me.
. You can join me in the unpopular opinion crowd if you like
Can I
You get my real ones! I hold back on here "
I know, as you get mine too  |
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"This is a fairly regular accusation pointed at people on the forums but what does it mean to you?
Do you honestly believe that you've never done it? That you hold true to all of your values, even in the face of that hot person that you really want to impress (after all its just words on a screen).
I have used the phrase virtue signalling. From your post it doesn't seem to mean the same thing to you as it does to me.
What does it mean to you? I'm not claiming to have the definitive answers, that's why I asked the question. "
Sos.... went off to read but I've said what I think it is now.
It's not agreeing with someone it's putting yourself on a 'moral - lovely person - lily white' pedestal. Usually done as you don't understand what the fuff the other is saying and hold no valid argument ..... |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I think I, and my profile are pretty straight forward. My opinions and preferences are not always popular but I stand by them because they are me, nobody else. Clashing with others is all part of the natural process of selection. We simply can't be everyone's cup of tea and why would you want to be... best thing is to find those that truly get you, not pretend to. "
I agree. I also think that disagreement is part and parcel of interacting with people. I don't think I'd want to be with someone that I agreed with on everything. It would be a very dull world if everyone was the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try to be me. I express beliefs on here that I genuinely hold to be true. I dont mind being the one in the crowd that expresses the unpopular opinion if its something I truly believe. Am I guarded? Sure. Do I have my faults? Yep and happy to talk about them and own them when I do fuck up. But I'll still always keep expressing my opinions and not change my beliefs to be popular/ part of the crowd/ liked by anyone. If you do that they are liking the mask and not the 'you'. For some that's ok. Genuinely accepted defence mechanism or attitude towards self promotion. Not for me.
. You can join me in the unpopular opinion crowd if you like
Can I
You get my real ones! I hold back on here
I know, as you get mine too "
The unpopular crowd is becoming pretty popular |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
Virtue signalling- (to me) it's stating a viewpoint that you don't necessarily hold with simply because it's the 'correct' view to have.
Breadcrumbing- stringing someone along with short, non committal and intermittent messages with the intent of keeping their attention.
Gaslighting- making someone believe that their opinion or feelings are wrong, contrary to evidence or their impressions of a situation.
Ah I see. In that case. No I’ve never done it and never will.
I think you WILL Nora cos I pick rubbish up off the floor and so I know you will!!"
If it means what he says it means and agreeing with people to be popular or not stating your opinions in case you become unpopular then definitely not. Or am I misinterpreting? I’m aware half the people don’t like me on here but a lot do because I’m so straight and honest. I am what I am. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I, and my profile are pretty straight forward. My opinions and preferences are not always popular but I stand by them because they are me, nobody else. Clashing with others is all part of the natural process of selection. We simply can't be everyone's cup of tea and why would you want to be... best thing is to find those that truly get you, not pretend to.
I agree. I also think that disagreement is part and parcel of interacting with people. I don't think I'd want to be with someone that I agreed with on everything. It would be a very dull world if everyone was the same. "
Totally.. it's the balance of similarities and agreeing to disagree. But ultimately sharing truth rather than what you think someone wants to hear. |
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I don't agree with his definition. To me it is when you tell everyone how wonderful you are ...... simple as. Not the same as bragging but let's say I was saying people shouldn't get sick pay....someone might say... Hey! I'm a nurse and I work long hours and i've seen blood and bandages and we don't get a tea break but we don't moan because that's just the type of person I am. etc etc etc.... instead of saying why people should or shouldn't get sick pay. |
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It's a bit tiresome as when people virtue signal their logic does not hold up from one stance to another.
Most want the church removed from the state, but then virtue signal about a church on fire in France.
Or the girl who complained to me about killing spiders, all living creatures should be respected, and she was a vegetarian. When I pointed out she was pro abortion she said that was different, she still ate eggs.
It goes on and on like this, over and over. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"
If it means what he says it means and agreeing with people to be popular or not stating your opinions in case you become unpopular then definitely not. Or am I misinterpreting? I’m aware half the people don’t like me on here but a lot do because I’m so straight and honest. I am what I am. "
How you defined it is fairly accurate to how I see it.
As for being disliked, I'm pretty aware that these forums are words on a screen and are fairly open to contextual misunderstanding or phrasing issues. Much the same as Im probably misread or appear challenging.
I think that dislike is a pretty hard thing to build up given those variables. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"
Breadcrumbing- stringing someone along with short, non committal and intermittent messages with the intent of keeping their attention."
Well that explains a lot! I had no idea what that meant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If it means what he says it means and agreeing with people to be popular or not stating your opinions in case you become unpopular then definitely not. Or am I misinterpreting? I’m aware half the people don’t like me on here but a lot do because I’m so straight and honest. I am what I am.
How you defined it is fairly accurate to how I see it.
As for being disliked, I'm pretty aware that these forums are words on a screen and are fairly open to contextual misunderstanding or phrasing issues. Much the same as Im probably misread or appear challenging.
I think that dislike is a pretty hard thing to build up given those variables. "
Even though you and I probably couldn’t be more different I respect your opinions and views as I do most people. It’s when people get personal and put words in my mouth that it starts winding me up. Like a certain gentleman did on another thread. I love a healthy adult debate but when it gets nasty, personal and childish that’s when I’m out. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"God O.P. You've done it now.
Everyone seems to think that virtue signalling is just the same as agreeing with others. ....... pfffffft "
Can I agree with you?...
This was why I asked the question though. Sometimes I see phrases used that vary in context or usage. It's only by comparing notes or asking the question that I can find an answer. |
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"right ive looked it up and it seems granny crumpets definition is the one used. In which case i do do it im always telling people i rescue cats "
Noooooooo it's okay to say you rescue cats. There's nothing wrong with that. It's when people have no logical point to make or are incapable of doing so and so tell you about all the good things about them to get others on side. A bit like politicians and other unreasonable people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"right ive looked it up and it seems granny crumpets definition is the one used. In which case i do do it im always telling people i rescue cats
Noooooooo it's okay to say you rescue cats. There's nothing wrong with that. It's when people have no logical point to make or are incapable of doing so and so tell you about all the good things about them to get others on side. A bit like politicians and other unreasonable people. "
I helped the old lady across the road with her shopping earlier |
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"God O.P. You've done it now.
Everyone seems to think that virtue signalling is just the same as agreeing with others. ....... pfffffft
Can I agree with you?...
This was why I asked the question though. Sometimes I see phrases used that vary in context or usage. It's only by comparing notes or asking the question that I can find an answer. "
Or Google. Google is good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"God O.P. You've done it now.
Everyone seems to think that virtue signalling is just the same as agreeing with others. ....... pfffffft
Can I agree with you?...
This was why I asked the question though. Sometimes I see phrases used that vary in context or usage. It's only by comparing notes or asking the question that I can find an answer.
Or Google. Google is good. "
googles a lier |
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"right ive looked it up and it seems granny crumpets definition is the one used. In which case i do do it im always telling people i rescue cats
Noooooooo it's okay to say you rescue cats. There's nothing wrong with that. It's when people have no logical point to make or are incapable of doing so and so tell you about all the good things about them to get others on side. A bit like politicians and other unreasonable people.
I helped the old lady across the road with her shopping earlier "
That's okay too Nora..... it's not virtue signalling to do good things and tell others that you do them.
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"right ive looked it up and it seems granny crumpets definition is the one used. In which case i do do it im always telling people i rescue cats
Noooooooo it's okay to say you rescue cats. There's nothing wrong with that. It's when people have no logical point to make or are incapable of doing so and so tell you about all the good things about them to get others on side. A bit like politicians and other unreasonable people. "
so when people go off topic just to say how great they are? |
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"right ive looked it up and it seems granny crumpets definition is the one used. In which case i do do it im always telling people i rescue cats
Noooooooo it's okay to say you rescue cats. There's nothing wrong with that. It's when people have no logical point to make or are incapable of doing so and so tell you about all the good things about them to get others on side. A bit like politicians and other unreasonable people. so when people go off topic just to say how great they are?"
More about doing it in a discussion or disagreement. |
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If you can't be actually good and let's face it most of try and fail most of the time such is the trails of life.
Then at least look and sound like your mother Teresa.
Personally I'm human and I fail alot because I have human traits like tribalism, sexism, racism, apathy, greed, I try not to let it define me from my good points though  |
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"right ive looked it up and it seems granny crumpets definition is the one used. In which case i do do it im always telling people i rescue cats
Noooooooo it's okay to say you rescue cats. There's nothing wrong with that. It's when people have no logical point to make or are incapable of doing so and so tell you about all the good things about them to get others on side. A bit like politicians and other unreasonable people. so when people go off topic just to say how great they are?
More about doing it in a discussion or disagreement. "
ok i get it now. Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If it means what he says it means and agreeing with people to be popular or not stating your opinions in case you become unpopular then definitely not. Or am I misinterpreting? I’m aware half the people don’t like me on here but a lot do because I’m so straight and honest. I am what I am.
How you defined it is fairly accurate to how I see it.
As for being disliked, I'm pretty aware that these forums are words on a screen and are fairly open to contextual misunderstanding or phrasing issues. Much the same as Im probably misread or appear challenging.
I think that dislike is a pretty hard thing to build up given those variables.
Even though you and I probably couldn’t be more different I respect your opinions and views as I do most people. It’s when people get personal and put words in my mouth that it starts winding me up. Like a certain gentleman did on another thread. I love a healthy adult debate but when it gets nasty, personal and childish that’s when I’m out. "
Couldn't agree more with you here Nora. Too many seem to be looking for offence and forget what the conversation or topic really is about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"right ive looked it up and it seems granny crumpets definition is the one used. In which case i do do it im always telling people i rescue cats
Noooooooo it's okay to say you rescue cats. There's nothing wrong with that. It's when people have no logical point to make or are incapable of doing so and so tell you about all the good things about them to get others on side. A bit like politicians and other unreasonable people. so when people go off topic just to say how great they are?
More about doing it in a discussion or disagreement. ok i get it now. Thanks"
So like 'I can tell you Heinz beans are better because I have 35 years of bean testing experience and a certificate to prove it which I received when I was helping orphans in a war torn country which, incidentally, was how I got labelled nicest bean taster in the world and they created a bean tasting Nobel prize for both that and my many other good works, of which I will list'
Btw not having a go at people's good works  just a jape |
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"right ive looked it up and it seems granny crumpets definition is the one used. In which case i do do it im always telling people i rescue cats
Noooooooo it's okay to say you rescue cats. There's nothing wrong with that. It's when people have no logical point to make or are incapable of doing so and so tell you about all the good things about them to get others on side. A bit like politicians and other unreasonable people. so when people go off topic just to say how great they are?
More about doing it in a discussion or disagreement. ok i get it now. Thanks
So like 'I can tell you Heinz beans are better because I have 35 years of bean testing experience and a certificate to prove it which I received when I was helping orphans in a war torn country which, incidentally, was how I got labelled nicest bean taster in the world and they created a bean tasting Nobel prize for both that and my many other good works, of which I will list'
Btw not having a go at people's good works just a jape "
Or bean eaters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If it means what he says it means and agreeing with people to be popular or not stating your opinions in case you become unpopular then definitely not. Or am I misinterpreting? I’m aware half the people don’t like me on here but a lot do because I’m so straight and honest. I am what I am.
How you defined it is fairly accurate to how I see it.
As for being disliked, I'm pretty aware that these forums are words on a screen and are fairly open to contextual misunderstanding or phrasing issues. Much the same as Im probably misread or appear challenging.
I think that dislike is a pretty hard thing to build up given those variables.
Even though you and I probably couldn’t be more different I respect your opinions and views as I do most people. It’s when people get personal and put words in my mouth that it starts winding me up. Like a certain gentleman did on another thread. I love a healthy adult debate but when it gets nasty, personal and childish that’s when I’m out.
Couldn't agree more with you here Nora. Too many seem to be looking for offence and forget what the conversation or topic really is about."
Oh yes. I know who’s going to jump in before they even do half the time. It’s like any social media site, people just sit there waiting for something to be offended about and can’t wait to jump in. Usually offended on behalf of other people too. I find it hilarious. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"God O.P. You've done it now.
Everyone seems to think that virtue signalling is just the same as agreeing with others. ....... pfffffft
Can I agree with you?...
This was why I asked the question though. Sometimes I see phrases used that vary in context or usage. It's only by comparing notes or asking the question that I can find an answer.
Or Google. Google is good. "
But Google doesn't answer the question with relevance to here, it also doesn't feed my incessant need to chat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If it means what he says it means and agreeing with people to be popular or not stating your opinions in case you become unpopular then definitely not. Or am I misinterpreting? I’m aware half the people don’t like me on here but a lot do because I’m so straight and honest. I am what I am.
How you defined it is fairly accurate to how I see it.
As for being disliked, I'm pretty aware that these forums are words on a screen and are fairly open to contextual misunderstanding or phrasing issues. Much the same as Im probably misread or appear challenging.
I think that dislike is a pretty hard thing to build up given those variables.
Even though you and I probably couldn’t be more different I respect your opinions and views as I do most people. It’s when people get personal and put words in my mouth that it starts winding me up. Like a certain gentleman did on another thread. I love a healthy adult debate but when it gets nasty, personal and childish that’s when I’m out.
Couldn't agree more with you here Nora. Too many seem to be looking for offence and forget what the conversation or topic really is about.
Oh yes. I know who’s going to jump in before they even do half the time. It’s like any social media site, people just sit there waiting for something to be offended about and can’t wait to jump in. Usually offended on behalf of other people too. I find it hilarious. "
how dare you say that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I say what I think is right, which has caused some backlash for me in the past. I try to be more diplomatic in my wording nowadays. Quite happy to go against a full thread of fabbers if I feel they are wrong about something.
I know it's not the same, but I have a real dislike for White Knights and gender dependant responses. So obvious, but not to the majority. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If it means what he says it means and agreeing with people to be popular or not stating your opinions in case you become unpopular then definitely not. Or am I misinterpreting? I’m aware half the people don’t like me on here but a lot do because I’m so straight and honest. I am what I am.
How you defined it is fairly accurate to how I see it.
As for being disliked, I'm pretty aware that these forums are words on a screen and are fairly open to contextual misunderstanding or phrasing issues. Much the same as Im probably misread or appear challenging.
I think that dislike is a pretty hard thing to build up given those variables.
Even though you and I probably couldn’t be more different I respect your opinions and views as I do most people. It’s when people get personal and put words in my mouth that it starts winding me up. Like a certain gentleman did on another thread. I love a healthy adult debate but when it gets nasty, personal and childish that’s when I’m out.
Couldn't agree more with you here Nora. Too many seem to be looking for offence and forget what the conversation or topic really is about.
Oh yes. I know who’s going to jump in before they even do half the time. It’s like any social media site, people just sit there waiting for something to be offended about and can’t wait to jump in. Usually offended on behalf of other people too. I find it hilarious. how dare you say that "
 . I’ve never been offended in my life I don’t think. I’m an independent, hard working, slightly right wing mum who eats meat, sometimes puts the recycling in the wrong bin loves a masculine gentleman who still opens doors for me and I’m not a feminist. I’m a typical fab woman no??!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"right ive looked it up and it seems granny crumpets definition is the one used. In which case i do do it im always telling people i rescue cats
Noooooooo it's okay to say you rescue cats. There's nothing wrong with that. It's when people have no logical point to make or are incapable of doing so and so tell you about all the good things about them to get others on side. A bit like politicians and other unreasonable people. so when people go off topic just to say how great they are?
More about doing it in a discussion or disagreement. ok i get it now. Thanks
So like 'I can tell you Heinz beans are better because I have 35 years of bean testing experience and a certificate to prove it which I received when I was helping orphans in a war torn country which, incidentally, was how I got labelled nicest bean taster in the world and they created a bean tasting Nobel prize for both that and my many other good works, of which I will list'
Btw not having a go at people's good works just a jape
Or bean eaters "
Total unsung heroes they are |
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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago
Sunderland |
Unfortunately for me my opinions flood to the fore without any filter when my hormones are raging.
Be that when my period is due, or I’m incredibly horny. Either way, cake just doesn’t silence it. I try, I look for snog, lick fuck or pass threads instead but it doesn’t always work 
Still, it’s not like we’re likely to fuck so does it matter if our opinions are different.
Lex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If it means what he says it means and agreeing with people to be popular or not stating your opinions in case you become unpopular then definitely not. Or am I misinterpreting? I’m aware half the people don’t like me on here but a lot do because I’m so straight and honest. I am what I am.
How you defined it is fairly accurate to how I see it.
As for being disliked, I'm pretty aware that these forums are words on a screen and are fairly open to contextual misunderstanding or phrasing issues. Much the same as Im probably misread or appear challenging.
I think that dislike is a pretty hard thing to build up given those variables.
Even though you and I probably couldn’t be more different I respect your opinions and views as I do most people. It’s when people get personal and put words in my mouth that it starts winding me up. Like a certain gentleman did on another thread. I love a healthy adult debate but when it gets nasty, personal and childish that’s when I’m out.
Couldn't agree more with you here Nora. Too many seem to be looking for offence and forget what the conversation or topic really is about.
Oh yes. I know who’s going to jump in before they even do half the time. It’s like any social media site, people just sit there waiting for something to be offended about and can’t wait to jump in. Usually offended on behalf of other people too. I find it hilarious. how dare you say that
. I’ve never been offended in my life I don’t think. I’m an independent, hard working, slightly right wing mum who eats meat, sometimes puts the recycling in the wrong bin loves a masculine gentleman who still opens doors for me and I’m not a feminist. I’m a typical fab woman no??!!! "
I love it when you speak like this Nora   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If it means what he says it means and agreeing with people to be popular or not stating your opinions in case you become unpopular then definitely not. Or am I misinterpreting? I’m aware half the people don’t like me on here but a lot do because I’m so straight and honest. I am what I am.
How you defined it is fairly accurate to how I see it.
As for being disliked, I'm pretty aware that these forums are words on a screen and are fairly open to contextual misunderstanding or phrasing issues. Much the same as Im probably misread or appear challenging.
I think that dislike is a pretty hard thing to build up given those variables.
Even though you and I probably couldn’t be more different I respect your opinions and views as I do most people. It’s when people get personal and put words in my mouth that it starts winding me up. Like a certain gentleman did on another thread. I love a healthy adult debate but when it gets nasty, personal and childish that’s when I’m out.
Couldn't agree more with you here Nora. Too many seem to be looking for offence and forget what the conversation or topic really is about.
Oh yes. I know who’s going to jump in before they even do half the time. It’s like any social media site, people just sit there waiting for something to be offended about and can’t wait to jump in. Usually offended on behalf of other people too. I find it hilarious. "
They are securing their little corner in heaven. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If it means what he says it means and agreeing with people to be popular or not stating your opinions in case you become unpopular then definitely not. Or am I misinterpreting? I’m aware half the people don’t like me on here but a lot do because I’m so straight and honest. I am what I am.
How you defined it is fairly accurate to how I see it.
As for being disliked, I'm pretty aware that these forums are words on a screen and are fairly open to contextual misunderstanding or phrasing issues. Much the same as Im probably misread or appear challenging.
I think that dislike is a pretty hard thing to build up given those variables.
Even though you and I probably couldn’t be more different I respect your opinions and views as I do most people. It’s when people get personal and put words in my mouth that it starts winding me up. Like a certain gentleman did on another thread. I love a healthy adult debate but when it gets nasty, personal and childish that’s when I’m out.
Couldn't agree more with you here Nora. Too many seem to be looking for offence and forget what the conversation or topic really is about.
Oh yes. I know who’s going to jump in before they even do half the time. It’s like any social media site, people just sit there waiting for something to be offended about and can’t wait to jump in. Usually offended on behalf of other people too. I find it hilarious. how dare you say that
. I’ve never been offended in my life I don’t think. I’m an independent, hard working, slightly right wing mum who eats meat, sometimes puts the recycling in the wrong bin loves a masculine gentleman who still opens doors for me and I’m not a feminist. I’m a typical fab woman no??!!!
I love it when you speak like this Nora "
Ah at least you love me that’s all that matters. On that note I’m off to get more cream on before someone tries frying an egg on my belly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If it means what he says it means and agreeing with people to be popular or not stating your opinions in case you become unpopular then definitely not. Or am I misinterpreting? I’m aware half the people don’t like me on here but a lot do because I’m so straight and honest. I am what I am.
How you defined it is fairly accurate to how I see it.
As for being disliked, I'm pretty aware that these forums are words on a screen and are fairly open to contextual misunderstanding or phrasing issues. Much the same as Im probably misread or appear challenging.
I think that dislike is a pretty hard thing to build up given those variables.
Even though you and I probably couldn’t be more different I respect your opinions and views as I do most people. It’s when people get personal and put words in my mouth that it starts winding me up. Like a certain gentleman did on another thread. I love a healthy adult debate but when it gets nasty, personal and childish that’s when I’m out.
Couldn't agree more with you here Nora. Too many seem to be looking for offence and forget what the conversation or topic really is about.
Oh yes. I know who’s going to jump in before they even do half the time. It’s like any social media site, people just sit there waiting for something to be offended about and can’t wait to jump in. Usually offended on behalf of other people too. I find it hilarious.
They are securing their little corner in heaven."
Too late for that for me. I’m driving the bus to hell! Who’s on? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If it means what he says it means and agreeing with people to be popular or not stating your opinions in case you become unpopular then definitely not. Or am I misinterpreting? I’m aware half the people don’t like me on here but a lot do because I’m so straight and honest. I am what I am.
How you defined it is fairly accurate to how I see it.
As for being disliked, I'm pretty aware that these forums are words on a screen and are fairly open to contextual misunderstanding or phrasing issues. Much the same as Im probably misread or appear challenging.
I think that dislike is a pretty hard thing to build up given those variables.
Even though you and I probably couldn’t be more different I respect your opinions and views as I do most people. It’s when people get personal and put words in my mouth that it starts winding me up. Like a certain gentleman did on another thread. I love a healthy adult debate but when it gets nasty, personal and childish that’s when I’m out.
Couldn't agree more with you here Nora. Too many seem to be looking for offence and forget what the conversation or topic really is about.
Oh yes. I know who’s going to jump in before they even do half the time. It’s like any social media site, people just sit there waiting for something to be offended about and can’t wait to jump in. Usually offended on behalf of other people too. I find it hilarious.
They are securing their little corner in heaven.
Too late for that for me. I’m driving the bus to hell! Who’s on? "
Take me home |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will stand by my opinion regardless of who they are.
However, my opinion can change if their argument points out something I hadn't thought of before."
This for me too.
I don't do anything to impress people as I know no-one gives a shit.
I do change my mind like the wind though. I'm usually agreeing with both sides of an argument. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Amazing how many people don’t actually know what it means. It’s showing what a virtuous person you are to other people, from a position of vanity, not because you actually care. If you did you’d go out and try and fix the problem, instead of just talking about. The forums being a prime example. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it will depend on who is reading the comment as to whether they'd think of it as such.
Is it like when some women say they use their mail filters to reduce mail so they can reply to all messages?
Some would think that's clever.
Some would think it was bollocks, just trying to impress the menfolk.
Some would think they don't need mail filters anyway as the last man on earth wouldn't mail them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Amazing how many people don’t actually know what it means. It’s showing what a virtuous person you are to other people, from a position of vanity, not because you actually care. If you did you’d go out and try and fix the problem, instead of just talking about. The forums being a prime example. "
You're forgetting that this is the forum. Words don't necessarily mean what they mean in the real world. Definitions can be twisted to mean whatever you want! |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"
If it means what he says it means and agreeing with people to be popular or not stating your opinions in case you become unpopular then definitely not. Or am I misinterpreting? I’m aware half the people don’t like me on here but a lot do because I’m so straight and honest. I am what I am.
How you defined it is fairly accurate to how I see it.
As for being disliked, I'm pretty aware that these forums are words on a screen and are fairly open to contextual misunderstanding or phrasing issues. Much the same as Im probably misread or appear challenging.
I think that dislike is a pretty hard thing to build up given those variables.
Even though you and I probably couldn’t be more different I respect your opinions and views as I do most people. It’s when people get personal and put words in my mouth that it starts winding me up. Like a certain gentleman did on another thread. I love a healthy adult debate but when it gets nasty, personal and childish that’s when I’m out. "
I agree with you about respect, I think debate and discussion is about respecting the other person's view but debating the issue. |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
Why do people forget that having an opinion is perfectly ok. Even if it differs from the norm? Debate is healthy as long as it is constructive.
The ability to having a raging debate over any point from the macro to micro scale without resorting to insults or people being offended is becoming rarer. People often resort to cop out statements like "But that's how I feel" because you can't apparently argue against feelings. There is less scope to say "I can see and respect your point of view but I can't agree with it because of X,Y and Z"
Without having processed this too deeply, I wonder if this is a product of an ever more insular society. By insular I mean out reliance on technology to interact and the pressures to show every detail of our lives, which onky reinforces the notion that everything you do must matter to everyone else..therefore the need to be showing the "correct" opinions in specific social settings occurs. Not sure if the granularity of it. In a non fab world I wouldn't date a left wing vegan. On here, I don't care. I dont bring my personal politics to meets.
Oooh, er. Think I have taken a couple of posts off this thread and rambled a bit, slightly off topic..
Yeah, virtue signalers. Bunch of dicks..
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
God no, I would never do that! Always authentic and true to myself no matter how hot the man. If he doesn't like it he can fuck off, I'm neither insecure nor desperate |
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"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
Virtue signalling- (to me) it's stating a viewpoint that you don't necessarily hold with simply because it's the 'correct' view to have.
Breadcrumbing- stringing someone along with short, non committal and intermittent messages with the intent of keeping their attention.
Gaslighting- making someone believe that their opinion or feelings are wrong, contrary to evidence or their impressions of a situation. "
I knew it was a thing, didn't know it had a proper name.
Virtue signalling? Nope not guilty
I never changed my opinion to match someone else's, never will either.
Breadcrumbing, a regular occurance on here.
It's fun to pick the crumbs up & throw them back, then waiting for them to realise they've been played at their own game.
Gaslighting. Only once. |
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"I often roll my eyes at the guys who send messages trying to sell themselves by pointing out the flaws of others.
They often list the behaviours they won't display and talk of "those sleazy guys" as if every other man on the site is some kind of troll.
They need to learn confidence and selling yourself as an individual is much more attractive.
Also see various threads where folks lament other guys being so very terrible by sending cock pics or being aggressive or rude etc.
Of course this thread could be construed as virtue signalling... "
Only if you don't believe what you're saying
Pretty sure everything I say is exactly what I think and do. Sometimes I change my mind on stuff but it's not often. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Why do people forget that having an opinion is perfectly ok. Even if it differs from the norm? Debate is healthy as long as it is constructive.
The ability to having a raging debate over any point from the macro to micro scale without resorting to insults or people being offended is becoming rarer. People often resort to cop out statements like "But that's how I feel" because you can't apparently argue against feelings. There is less scope to say "I can see and respect your point of view but I can't agree with it because of X,Y and Z"
Without having processed this too deeply, I wonder if this is a product of an ever more insular society. By insular I mean out reliance on technology to interact and the pressures to show every detail of our lives, which onky reinforces the notion that everything you do must matter to everyone else..therefore the need to be showing the "correct" opinions in specific social settings occurs. Not sure if the granularity of it. In a non fab world I wouldn't date a left wing vegan. On here, I don't care. I dont bring my personal politics to meets.
Oooh, er. Think I have taken a couple of posts off this thread and rambled a bit, slightly off topic..
Yeah, virtue signalers. Bunch of dicks..
"
I agree wholeheartedly with your second paragraph, I love a good debate based around views and opinions but they need to be backed up. Just saying "just because" isn't debating. I hold views that many would and do disagree with but I will explain and argue those points and respect others that do the same. Calling me a left wing snowflake isn't debating, nor is calling someone a bigoted moron. If someone holds a view then at least own it, don't hide. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do people forget that having an opinion is perfectly ok. Even if it differs from the norm? Debate is healthy as long as it is constructive.
The ability to having a raging debate over any point from the macro to micro scale without resorting to insults or people being offended is becoming rarer. People often resort to cop out statements like "But that's how I feel" because you can't apparently argue against feelings. There is less scope to say "I can see and respect your point of view but I can't agree with it because of X,Y and Z"
Without having processed this too deeply, I wonder if this is a product of an ever more insular society. By insular I mean out reliance on technology to interact and the pressures to show every detail of our lives, which onky reinforces the notion that everything you do must matter to everyone else..therefore the need to be showing the "correct" opinions in specific social settings occurs. Not sure if the granularity of it. In a non fab world I wouldn't date a left wing vegan. On here, I don't care. I dont bring my personal politics to meets.
Oooh, er. Think I have taken a couple of posts off this thread and rambled a bit, slightly off topic..
Yeah, virtue signalers. Bunch of dicks..
I agree wholeheartedly with your second paragraph, I love a good debate based around views and opinions but they need to be backed up. Just saying "just because" isn't debating. I hold views that many would and do disagree with but I will explain and argue those points and respect others that do the same. Calling me a left wing snowflake isn't debating, nor is calling someone a bigoted moron. If someone holds a view then at least own it, don't hide. "
I agree to a certain extent. I don’t tend to get involved if I don’t know much about something. Like the BDSM threads. I know nothing! As for backing things up I don’t always. There was a thread asking would you meet a bisexual man yes or no and I (in the minority I might add) answered no. I then got asked to explain why. Why should I? I don’t feel the need to give reasons for my preferences on here, apart from the fact that I’m certain whatever reason I gave would have rubbed someone up the wrong way for sure and caused unnecessary grief. So no, if it’s a simple yes or no question I don’t feel the need to back anything up. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"
I agree to a certain extent. I don’t tend to get involved if I don’t know much about something. Like the BDSM threads. I know nothing! As for backing things up I don’t always. There was a thread asking would you meet a bisexual man yes or no and I (in the minority I might add) answered no. I then got asked to explain why. Why should I? I don’t feel the need to give reasons for my preferences on here, apart from the fact that I’m certain whatever reason I gave would have rubbed someone up the wrong way for sure and caused unnecessary grief. So no, if it’s a simple yes or no question I don’t feel the need to back anything up. "
(getting massively off topic for the thread now) I think that it was probably me who asked you that!
I think that an awful lot of people take my questioning curiosity as challenging. 90% of the time I ask "why" because I'm genuinely interested in people's motivation or what or why they feel a certain way.
Opinions or preferences are a person's right and I wholeheartedly agree that you (or anyone else) don't have to give reasonings, I generally just ask for discussion or curiosity. It's very rare that I do it to pick at opinions and only where the discussion drives it.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I agree to a certain extent. I don’t tend to get involved if I don’t know much about something. Like the BDSM threads. I know nothing! As for backing things up I don’t always. There was a thread asking would you meet a bisexual man yes or no and I (in the minority I might add) answered no. I then got asked to explain why. Why should I? I don’t feel the need to give reasons for my preferences on here, apart from the fact that I’m certain whatever reason I gave would have rubbed someone up the wrong way for sure and caused unnecessary grief. So no, if it’s a simple yes or no question I don’t feel the need to back anything up.
(getting massively off topic for the thread now) I think that it was probably me who asked you that!
I think that an awful lot of people take my questioning curiosity as challenging. 90% of the time I ask "why" because I'm genuinely interested in people's motivation or what or why they feel a certain way.
Opinions or preferences are a person's right and I wholeheartedly agree that you (or anyone else) don't have to give reasonings, I generally just ask for discussion or curiosity. It's very rare that I do it to pick at opinions and only where the discussion drives it.
"
True. Off topic. Sorry  . I do think you do it for curiosity but others are sitting there waiting to jump. That’s why I rarely elaborate on certain things. I’ve learned that on here it’s not worth it x |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I think one of the problems on here (and indeed most on-line forums) is that phrases like virtue signalling, lamppost pissing, white knighting etc are thrown about as insults far too often and as such lose their actual definition, as this thread has shown.
There's no doubt that there *are* some who do put on an act, or adapt their ways to impress others - that has been happening in one shape or form since time began - the key however is the ability to differentiate between those that are genuine in their intentions and meaning and those that are doing so with a means to an end in mind, and *that* can only come by truly getting to know someone over a period of time, which given the transient nature of the site isn't always something that is possible.
I like to think my opinions and views have a consistency and certainly don't change them to suit a given situation - I don't mind them being challenged either and if on balance and in the face of an alternate opinion I can see they need to be adapted I'll not only do so, but hold my hands up and concede that I was wrong too. |
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By *ky19Man
over a year ago
Plymouth OYO Hotel |
I wouldn't do such a thing as virtue signalling 
Being really strict, no-one including me is truly free of any hypocrisy at all, cos it's impossible to always always live up to your own standards. But it's good to have values and principles right?
As long as most of the time anyone just does about the best they reasonably can, then that's probably about all anyone can ask. x |
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By *ydnNancyCouple
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"I think one of the problems on here (and indeed most on-line forums) is that phrases like virtue signalling, lamppost pissing, white knighting etc are thrown about as insults far too often and as such lose their actual definition, as this thread has shown.
There's no doubt that there *are* some who do put on an act, or adapt their ways to impress others - that has been happening in one shape or form since time began - the key however is the ability to differentiate between those that are genuine in their intentions and meaning and those that are doing so with a means to an end in mind, and *that* can only come by truly getting to know someone over a period of time, which given the transient nature of the site isn't always something that is possible.
I like to think my opinions and views have a consistency and certainly don't change them to suit a given situation - I don't mind them being challenged either and if on balance and in the face of an alternate opinion I can see they need to be adapted I'll not only do so, but hold my hands up and concede that I was wrong too."
This
To add...People take theirs and others online presence way too seriously IMO. There is a difference between trying to show your best side and being a different person.
Nancy |
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"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
Virtue signalling- (to me) it's stating a viewpoint that you don't necessarily hold with simply because it's the 'correct' view to have.
"
I never quite understand it, as the term often seems to be thrown about as some sort of accusatory assumption more than anything else. Usually by someone with right leaning views, who seems to see it as the only possible explanation as to why someone might not share their views.
As in “I can’t get my head around the idea that you disagree with me. So I’m going to accuse you of only saying that, not because you actually believe it, but because you think you should believe it.”
It’s usually immediately before or after the person being called a snowflake, or possibly a Libtard. Which is always ironic, seeing as the person calling someone else a snowflake is usually the person most outraged about something. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I think one of the problems on here (and indeed most on-line forums) is that phrases like virtue signalling, lamppost pissing, white knighting etc are thrown about as insults far too often and as such lose their actual definition, as this thread has shown.
There's no doubt that there *are* some who do put on an act, or adapt their ways to impress others - that has been happening in one shape or form since time began - the key however is the ability to differentiate between those that are genuine in their intentions and meaning and those that are doing so with a means to an end in mind, and *that* can only come by truly getting to know someone over a period of time, which given the transient nature of the site isn't always something that is possible.
I like to think my opinions and views have a consistency and certainly don't change them to suit a given situation - I don't mind them being challenged either and if on balance and in the face of an alternate opinion I can see they need to be adapted I'll not only do so, but hold my hands up and concede that I was wrong too."
I agree with GM. I'll throw a thumb in as well to show I really do.
I don't think I do virtue signal. I probably have in the past but not intentionally. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I think one of the problems on here (and indeed most on-line forums) is that phrases like virtue signalling, lamppost pissing, white knighting etc are thrown about as insults far too often and as such lose their actual definition, as this thread has shown.
There's no doubt that there *are* some who do put on an act, or adapt their ways to impress others - that has been happening in one shape or form since time began - the key however is the ability to differentiate between those that are genuine in their intentions and meaning and those that are doing so with a means to an end in mind, and *that* can only come by truly getting to know someone over a period of time, which given the transient nature of the site isn't always something that is possible.
I like to think my opinions and views have a consistency and certainly don't change them to suit a given situation - I don't mind them being challenged either and if on balance and in the face of an alternate opinion I can see they need to be adapted I'll not only do so, but hold my hands up and concede that I was wrong too.
I agree with GM. I'll throw a thumb in as well to show I really do.
I don't think I do virtue signal. I probably have in the past but not intentionally. "
In order to do that you have to actually state an opinion though... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I agree to a certain extent. I don’t tend to get involved if I don’t know much about something. Like the BDSM threads. I know nothing! As for backing things up I don’t always. There was a thread asking would you meet a bisexual man yes or no and I (in the minority I might add) answered no. I then got asked to explain why. Why should I? I don’t feel the need to give reasons for my preferences on here, apart from the fact that I’m certain whatever reason I gave would have rubbed someone up the wrong way for sure and caused unnecessary grief. So no, if it’s a simple yes or no question I don’t feel the need to back anything up.
(getting massively off topic for the thread now) I think that it was probably me who asked you that!
I think that an awful lot of people take my questioning curiosity as challenging. 90% of the time I ask "why" because I'm genuinely interested in people's motivation or what or why they feel a certain way.
Opinions or preferences are a person's right and I wholeheartedly agree that you (or anyone else) don't have to give reasonings, I generally just ask for discussion or curiosity. It's very rare that I do it to pick at opinions and only where the discussion drives it.
"
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
I've had a little more time to digest this topic now, so hopefully this be a little more on topic.
It seems virtue signalling can be split into several definite areas. These seem to be aligned to personality traits.
The first group collectively are the "bandwagon jumpers" who flit from cause to cause. I believe the most current bunch are the "Social Justice Warriors" who seem to be generally outraged by whatever the latest crusade is (race, LGBT, etc etc..) it appears many of these people have a low personal value and therefore define themselves by the causes they align themselves to, as they feel this gives them worth.
The second group who may appear to be virtue signalling are those that generally sit on the fence, but know they sit on the fence and are aware that fence sitting isn't a popular place to be, so come down on a particular side depending on the company or situation. This isnt true virtue signalling, this is more a personal travel through diplomacy. It probably wouldn't be noticed if it wasn't on the internet in black and white. Everyone likes to be liked and this is a display in agreeableness.
The last group are those chameleons who change their outlook to get what they want. This doesnt just have to be sex, i have seen people have almost complete personality changes when they want to switch career paths. They can be ruthless and almost sociopathic in dropping friends/aquaintances/hobbies in their pursuits..
Please note there is no scientific evidence for this other than what I have experienced in real life and off t'interweb |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've had a little more time to digest this topic now, so hopefully this be a little more on topic.
It seems virtue signalling can be split into several definite areas. These seem to be aligned to personality traits.
The first group collectively are the "bandwagon jumpers" who flit from cause to cause. I believe the most current bunch are the "Social Justice Warriors" who seem to be generally outraged by whatever the latest crusade is (race, LGBT, etc etc..) it appears many of these people have a low personal value and therefore define themselves by the causes they align themselves to, as they feel this gives them worth.
The second group who may appear to be virtue signalling are those that generally sit on the fence, but know they sit on the fence and are aware that fence sitting isn't a popular place to be, so come down on a particular side depending on the company or situation. This isnt true virtue signalling, this is more a personal travel through diplomacy. It probably wouldn't be noticed if it wasn't on the internet in black and white. Everyone likes to be liked and this is a display in agreeableness.
The last group are those chameleons who change their outlook to get what they want. This doesnt just have to be sex, i have seen people have almost complete personality changes when they want to switch career paths. They can be ruthless and almost sociopathic in dropping friends/aquaintances/hobbies in their pursuits..
Please note there is no scientific evidence for this other than what I have experienced in real life and off t'interweb "
What about those who aren't virtue signalling but given that label by people who don't them well enough to decide if they're just being themselves? That's the trouble with name calling strangers on the internet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've had a little more time to digest this topic now, so hopefully this be a little more on topic.
It seems virtue signalling can be split into several definite areas. These seem to be aligned to personality traits.
The first group collectively are the "bandwagon jumpers" who flit from cause to cause. I believe the most current bunch are the "Social Justice Warriors" who seem to be generally outraged by whatever the latest crusade is (race, LGBT, etc etc..) it appears many of these people have a low personal value and therefore define themselves by the causes they align themselves to, as they feel this gives them worth.
The second group who may appear to be virtue signalling are those that generally sit on the fence, but know they sit on the fence and are aware that fence sitting isn't a popular place to be, so come down on a particular side depending on the company or situation. This isnt true virtue signalling, this is more a personal travel through diplomacy. It probably wouldn't be noticed if it wasn't on the internet in black and white. Everyone likes to be liked and this is a display in agreeableness.
The last group are those chameleons who change their outlook to get what they want. This doesnt just have to be sex, i have seen people have almost complete personality changes when they want to switch career paths. They can be ruthless and almost sociopathic in dropping friends/aquaintances/hobbies in their pursuits..
Please note there is no scientific evidence for this other than what I have experienced in real life and off t'interweb
What about those who aren't virtue signalling but given that label by people who don't them well enough to decide if they're just being themselves? That's the trouble with name calling strangers on the internet."
Who cares what strangers on the internet think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've had a little more time to digest this topic now, so hopefully this be a little more on topic.
It seems virtue signalling can be split into several definite areas. These seem to be aligned to personality traits.
The first group collectively are the "bandwagon jumpers" who flit from cause to cause. I believe the most current bunch are the "Social Justice Warriors" who seem to be generally outraged by whatever the latest crusade is (race, LGBT, etc etc..) it appears many of these people have a low personal value and therefore define themselves by the causes they align themselves to, as they feel this gives them worth.
The second group who may appear to be virtue signalling are those that generally sit on the fence, but know they sit on the fence and are aware that fence sitting isn't a popular place to be, so come down on a particular side depending on the company or situation. This isnt true virtue signalling, this is more a personal travel through diplomacy. It probably wouldn't be noticed if it wasn't on the internet in black and white. Everyone likes to be liked and this is a display in agreeableness.
The last group are those chameleons who change their outlook to get what they want. This doesnt just have to be sex, i have seen people have almost complete personality changes when they want to switch career paths. They can be ruthless and almost sociopathic in dropping friends/aquaintances/hobbies in their pursuits..
Please note there is no scientific evidence for this other than what I have experienced in real life and off t'interweb
What about those who aren't virtue signalling but given that label by people who don't them well enough to decide if they're just being themselves? That's the trouble with name calling strangers on the internet.
Who cares what strangers on the internet think. "
A lot of us by the sounds of things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've had a little more time to digest this topic now, so hopefully this be a little more on topic.
It seems virtue signalling can be split into several definite areas. These seem to be aligned to personality traits.
The first group collectively are the "bandwagon jumpers" who flit from cause to cause. I believe the most current bunch are the "Social Justice Warriors" who seem to be generally outraged by whatever the latest crusade is (race, LGBT, etc etc..) it appears many of these people have a low personal value and therefore define themselves by the causes they align themselves to, as they feel this gives them worth.
The second group who may appear to be virtue signalling are those that generally sit on the fence, but know they sit on the fence and are aware that fence sitting isn't a popular place to be, so come down on a particular side depending on the company or situation. This isnt true virtue signalling, this is more a personal travel through diplomacy. It probably wouldn't be noticed if it wasn't on the internet in black and white. Everyone likes to be liked and this is a display in agreeableness.
The last group are those chameleons who change their outlook to get what they want. This doesnt just have to be sex, i have seen people have almost complete personality changes when they want to switch career paths. They can be ruthless and almost sociopathic in dropping friends/aquaintances/hobbies in their pursuits..
Please note there is no scientific evidence for this other than what I have experienced in real life and off t'interweb
What about those who aren't virtue signalling but given that label by people who don't them well enough to decide if they're just being themselves? That's the trouble with name calling strangers on the internet.
Who cares what strangers on the internet think. "
On here, everyone, except the one not needing to care which does make it rather more difficult than you're suggesting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think one of the problems on here (and indeed most on-line forums) is that phrases like virtue signalling, lamppost pissing, white knighting etc are thrown about as insults far too often and as such lose their actual definition, as this thread has shown.
There's no doubt that there *are* some who do put on an act, or adapt their ways to impress others - that has been happening in one shape or form since time began - the key however is the ability to differentiate between those that are genuine in their intentions and meaning and those that are doing so with a means to an end in mind, and *that* can only come by truly getting to know someone over a period of time, which given the transient nature of the site isn't always something that is possible.
I like to think my opinions and views have a consistency and certainly don't change them to suit a given situation - I don't mind them being challenged either and if on balance and in the face of an alternate opinion I can see they need to be adapted I'll not only do so, but hold my hands up and concede that I was wrong too."
I'll stand by you on this too Gemini. It's hard sometimes wading through some shit just being thrown for no reason other than to trip and kick. Little thought given to good healthy respectful disagreements that are not personal but more about integrity of debate. |
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Virtue signalling seems to be one of those things that means all things to all people. And, yes, I really do know people that I suspect hold their views primarily to signal how beatific they are (like the guys who wear this is what a feminist looks like t-shirts).
I guess by the (non scientific) definitions above I (m) would be classed as a fence sitter, because more often than not I can see the the points made by both sides, even if I am more inclined to agree with one than the other. But by those same definitions it seems that no one can win. You’re either disingenuous, overly cautious or a chameleon. Sometimes people do just hold ‘woke’ viewpoints (or conservative ones). In some areas I’m pretty liberal (or a libtard depending on your viewpoint), but pretty conservative (or a gammon) in others. That doesn’t mean I’m virtue signalling how woke I am when I posted about the rugby player who got fired. Would I be virtue signalling in the other direction if I said I agreed with some of the views (only some mind) of Jordon Peterson, or that I didn’t think the brexiteers are all nazis? Nope, I’d just be expressing my personal views.
And it’s easy to say everyone is a snowflake nowadays and that people can’t accept differing viewpoints in a civil manner, like it’s a generational thing. If you watch clips of Gore Vidal and William Buckley you’ll see those two intellectual heavyweights being right c*nts to each other.
When it comes to arguing a point, people generally just hate to lose. It’s been ever thus. Bandying terms like snowflake, virtue signalling, white knight and gammon is just an extension of that. And for what it’s worth, if everyone had the same viewpoint and gave up arguing, the world would be a much poorer place for it. |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"I've had a little more time to digest this topic now, so hopefully this be a little more on topic.
It seems virtue signalling can be split into several definite areas. These seem to be aligned to personality traits.
The first group collectively are the "bandwagon jumpers" who flit from cause to cause. I believe the most current bunch are the "Social Justice Warriors" who seem to be generally outraged by whatever the latest crusade is (race, LGBT, etc etc..) it appears many of these people have a low personal value and therefore define themselves by the causes they align themselves to, as they feel this gives them worth.
The second group who may appear to be virtue signalling are those that generally sit on the fence, but know they sit on the fence and are aware that fence sitting isn't a popular place to be, so come down on a particular side depending on the company or situation. This isnt true virtue signalling, this is more a personal travel through diplomacy. It probably wouldn't be noticed if it wasn't on the internet in black and white. Everyone likes to be liked and this is a display in agreeableness.
The last group are those chameleons who change their outlook to get what they want. This doesnt just have to be sex, i have seen people have almost complete personality changes when they want to switch career paths. They can be ruthless and almost sociopathic in dropping friends/aquaintances/hobbies in their pursuits..
Please note there is no scientific evidence for this other than what I have experienced in real life and off t'interweb
What about those who aren't virtue signalling but given that label by people who don't them well enough to decide if they're just being themselves? That's the trouble with name calling strangers on the internet.
Who cares what strangers on the internet think.
A lot of us by the sounds of things."
And there lies one of the great existential wossnames of t'interweb forums. People ask for the opinions and thoughts of strangers, and then those thoughts get jumped on as they aren't the validations sought.
I have been jumped on over a thread regarding something I personally find distasteful. I voiced my opinion and was immediately told I was kink shaming, for voicing my opinion.
Further to my thoughts on being entitled to opinions, it should be remembered that everyone on here is perfectly entitled to voice an opinion. But as it is a public forum, everyone else is also allowed to respond as they see fit, regardless of what that view is (site rules permitting). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've had a little more time to digest this topic now, so hopefully this be a little more on topic.
It seems virtue signalling can be split into several definite areas. These seem to be aligned to personality traits.
The first group collectively are the "bandwagon jumpers" who flit from cause to cause. I believe the most current bunch are the "Social Justice Warriors" who seem to be generally outraged by whatever the latest crusade is (race, LGBT, etc etc..) it appears many of these people have a low personal value and therefore define themselves by the causes they align themselves to, as they feel this gives them worth.
The second group who may appear to be virtue signalling are those that generally sit on the fence, but know they sit on the fence and are aware that fence sitting isn't a popular place to be, so come down on a particular side depending on the company or situation. This isnt true virtue signalling, this is more a personal travel through diplomacy. It probably wouldn't be noticed if it wasn't on the internet in black and white. Everyone likes to be liked and this is a display in agreeableness.
The last group are those chameleons who change their outlook to get what they want. This doesnt just have to be sex, i have seen people have almost complete personality changes when they want to switch career paths. They can be ruthless and almost sociopathic in dropping friends/aquaintances/hobbies in their pursuits..
Please note there is no scientific evidence for this other than what I have experienced in real life and off t'interweb
What about those who aren't virtue signalling but given that label by people who don't them well enough to decide if they're just being themselves? That's the trouble with name calling strangers on the internet.
Who cares what strangers on the internet think.
A lot of us by the sounds of things.
And there lies one of the great existential wossnames of t'interweb forums. People ask for the opinions and thoughts of strangers, and then those thoughts get jumped on as they aren't the validations sought.
I have been jumped on over a thread regarding something I personally find distasteful. I voiced my opinion and was immediately told I was kink shaming, for voicing my opinion.
Further to my thoughts on being entitled to opinions, it should be remembered that everyone on here is perfectly entitled to voice an opinion. But as it is a public forum, everyone else is also allowed to respond as they see fit, regardless of what that view is (site rules permitting). "
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"I've had a little more time to digest this topic now, so hopefully this be a little more on topic.
It seems virtue signalling can be split into several definite areas. These seem to be aligned to personality traits.
The first group collectively are the "bandwagon jumpers" who flit from cause to cause. I believe the most current bunch are the "Social Justice Warriors" who seem to be generally outraged by whatever the latest crusade is (race, LGBT, etc etc..) it appears many of these people have a low personal value and therefore define themselves by the causes they align themselves to, as they feel this gives them worth.
The second group who may appear to be virtue signalling are those that generally sit on the fence, but know they sit on the fence and are aware that fence sitting isn't a popular place to be, so come down on a particular side depending on the company or situation. This isnt true virtue signalling, this is more a personal travel through diplomacy. It probably wouldn't be noticed if it wasn't on the internet in black and white. Everyone likes to be liked and this is a display in agreeableness.
The last group are those chameleons who change their outlook to get what they want. This doesnt just have to be sex, i have seen people have almost complete personality changes when they want to switch career paths. They can be ruthless and almost sociopathic in dropping friends/aquaintances/hobbies in their pursuits..
Please note there is no scientific evidence for this other than what I have experienced in real life and off t'interweb
What about those who aren't virtue signalling but given that label by people who don't them well enough to decide if they're just being themselves? That's the trouble with name calling strangers on the internet."
That is pretty much what I was getting at in my earlier post.
Essentially, given that most things people might be accused of “virtue signalling” about are objectively *good* things, that most reasonable people actually would agree with...
...I don’t understand the bizarre assumption that they are only pretending to think they are good things. |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"
That is pretty much what I was getting at in my earlier post.
Essentially, given that most things people might be accused of “virtue signalling” about are objectively *good* things, that most reasonable people actually would agree with...
...I don’t understand the bizarre assumption that they are only pretending to think they are good things."
I think it's more when people radically change their points of view to be in line with someone they want to be with (on here). An extreme example would be someone who flip from being very pro something to very anti the same thing, unless a set of circumstances or experiences alters that viewpoint.. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"
That is pretty much what I was getting at in my earlier post.
Essentially, given that most things people might be accused of “virtue signalling” about are objectively *good* things, that most reasonable people actually would agree with...
...I don’t understand the bizarre assumption that they are only pretending to think they are good things."
I see your point here but I think you're making subjective decisions about 'good' and 'reasonable' there.
I'm not making value judgements about the subjects at hand, I just think that you're placing a lot of your values as expectation for others. However, that's a whole other discussion! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've had a little more time to digest this topic now, so hopefully this be a little more on topic.
It seems virtue signalling can be split into several definite areas. These seem to be aligned to personality traits.
The first group collectively are the "bandwagon jumpers" who flit from cause to cause. I believe the most current bunch are the "Social Justice Warriors" who seem to be generally outraged by whatever the latest crusade is (race, LGBT, etc etc..) it appears many of these people have a low personal value and therefore define themselves by the causes they align themselves to, as they feel this gives them worth.
The second group who may appear to be virtue signalling are those that generally sit on the fence, but know they sit on the fence and are aware that fence sitting isn't a popular place to be, so come down on a particular side depending on the company or situation. This isnt true virtue signalling, this is more a personal travel through diplomacy. It probably wouldn't be noticed if it wasn't on the internet in black and white. Everyone likes to be liked and this is a display in agreeableness.
The last group are those chameleons who change their outlook to get what they want. This doesnt just have to be sex, i have seen people have almost complete personality changes when they want to switch career paths. They can be ruthless and almost sociopathic in dropping friends/aquaintances/hobbies in their pursuits..
Please note there is no scientific evidence for this other than what I have experienced in real life and off t'interweb
What about those who aren't virtue signalling but given that label by people who don't them well enough to decide if they're just being themselves? That's the trouble with name calling strangers on the internet.
Who cares what strangers on the internet think.
A lot of us by the sounds of things.
And there lies one of the great existential wossnames of t'interweb forums. People ask for the opinions and thoughts of strangers, and then those thoughts get jumped on as they aren't the validations sought.
I have been jumped on over a thread regarding something I personally find distasteful. I voiced my opinion and was immediately told I was kink shaming, for voicing my opinion.
Further to my thoughts on being entitled to opinions, it should be remembered that everyone on here is perfectly entitled to voice an opinion. But as it is a public forum, everyone else is also allowed to respond as they see fit, regardless of what that view is (site rules permitting). "
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"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
And lamppost pissing (I even googled it and still don’t know)"
thats risky business what if there is a bare live wire in there!!!!!!!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
And lamppost pissing (I even googled it and still don’t know)
thats risky business what if there is a bare live wire in there!!!!!!!!!!! "
I don’t piss in public. Only time I ever did in the hedge I sat in a load of nettles. True story. Ouch |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
And lamppost pissing (I even googled it and still don’t know)
thats risky business what if there is a bare live wire in there!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t piss in public. Only time I ever did in the hedge I sat in a load of nettles. True story. Ouch "
Did you find some dock leaves? They work wonders |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
And lamppost pissing (I even googled it and still don’t know)
thats risky business what if there is a bare live wire in there!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t piss in public. Only time I ever did in the hedge I sat in a load of nettles. True story. Ouch
Did you find some dock leaves? They work wonders "
No  . Sudocrem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmm I dunno.
It all looks a bit long winded to me.
I've changed my mind on certain things, had differing opinions and feelings on the same subject even.
Once you hear different perspectives and reasons why someone has a view on something you may change your mind because you've gained understanding. Doesn't mean you're flaky or trying to gain points, just might mean that now ya get their point and have had your eyes opened. You can still hold the same views as you did before, but appreciate theirs and the "why" behind it. I might totally believe something is right for me, but I can also accept that the opposite may be right for someone else.
Life has so many variables.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lots of accusations are made by some against some others in the forums, and elsewhere.
They are usually driven by one persons perception of another. Changing perceptions, it's never easy.
Refraining from accusing others of anything based on our own perspective is far easier.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
And lamppost pissing (I even googled it and still don’t know)
Ok that made me giggle. Lol "
This place has been more of an education for me than anything else I tell ya! |
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"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
And lamppost pissing (I even googled it and still don’t know)
thats risky business what if there is a bare live wire in there!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t piss in public. Only time I ever did in the hedge I sat in a load of nettles. True story. Ouch
Did you find some dock leaves? They work wonders
No . Sudocrem "
dock leaves far better for nettle stings |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
And lamppost pissing (I even googled it and still don’t know)
thats risky business what if there is a bare live wire in there!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t piss in public. Only time I ever did in the hedge I sat in a load of nettles. True story. Ouch
Did you find some dock leaves? They work wonders
No . Sudocrem
dock leaves far better for nettle stings "
I know. It was pitch black though and I’d had about 47 gins! |
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"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
And lamppost pissing (I even googled it and still don’t know)
thats risky business what if there is a bare live wire in there!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t piss in public. Only time I ever did in the hedge I sat in a load of nettles. True story. Ouch
Did you find some dock leaves? They work wonders
No . Sudocrem
dock leaves far better for nettle stings
I know. It was pitch black though and I’d had about 47 gins! "
wonder you noticed the stinging with 47 gins in you lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
And lamppost pissing (I even googled it and still don’t know)
thats risky business what if there is a bare live wire in there!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t piss in public. Only time I ever did in the hedge I sat in a load of nettles. True story. Ouch
Did you find some dock leaves? They work wonders
No . Sudocrem
dock leaves far better for nettle stings
I know. It was pitch black though and I’d had about 47 gins!
wonder you noticed the stinging with 47 gins in you lol "
I’m not good with pain |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
And lamppost pissing (I even googled it and still don’t know)
thats risky business what if there is a bare live wire in there!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t piss in public. Only time I ever did in the hedge I sat in a load of nettles. True story. Ouch
Did you find some dock leaves? They work wonders
No . Sudocrem
dock leaves far better for nettle stings
I know. It was pitch black though and I’d had about 47 gins!
wonder you noticed the stinging with 47 gins in you lol
I’m not good with pain "
And I may have exaggerated the gin count a touch |
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"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
And lamppost pissing (I even googled it and still don’t know)
thats risky business what if there is a bare live wire in there!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t piss in public. Only time I ever did in the hedge I sat in a load of nettles. True story. Ouch
Did you find some dock leaves? They work wonders
No . Sudocrem
dock leaves far better for nettle stings
I know. It was pitch black though and I’d had about 47 gins!
wonder you noticed the stinging with 47 gins in you lol
I’m not good with pain
And I may have exaggerated the gin count a touch "
even 45 gins!!!!!! lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
And lamppost pissing (I even googled it and still don’t know)
thats risky business what if there is a bare live wire in there!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t piss in public. Only time I ever did in the hedge I sat in a load of nettles. True story. Ouch
Did you find some dock leaves? They work wonders
No . Sudocrem
dock leaves far better for nettle stings
I know. It was pitch black though and I’d had about 47 gins!
wonder you noticed the stinging with 47 gins in you lol
I’m not good with pain
And I may have exaggerated the gin count a touch
even 45 gins!!!!!! lol "
. You look amazing in your pics btw x. Just had a peek |
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"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
And lamppost pissing (I even googled it and still don’t know)
thats risky business what if there is a bare live wire in there!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t piss in public. Only time I ever did in the hedge I sat in a load of nettles. True story. Ouch
Did you find some dock leaves? They work wonders
No . Sudocrem
dock leaves far better for nettle stings
I know. It was pitch black though and I’d had about 47 gins!
wonder you noticed the stinging with 47 gins in you lol
I’m not good with pain
And I may have exaggerated the gin count a touch
even 45 gins!!!!!! lol
. You look amazing in your pics btw x. Just had a peek "
your so kind thank you! You do too x |
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"I often roll my eyes at the guys who send messages trying to sell themselves by pointing out the flaws of others.
They often list the behaviours they won't display and talk of "those sleazy guys" as if every other man on the site is some kind of troll.
They need to learn confidence and selling yourself as an individual is much more attractive. "
My analogy of this is, why go to the beach and knock everybody elses' sandcastles down when you can build your own |
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"
That is pretty much what I was getting at in my earlier post.
Essentially, given that most things people might be accused of “virtue signalling” about are objectively *good* things, that most reasonable people actually would agree with...
...I don’t understand the bizarre assumption that they are only pretending to think they are good things.
I see your point here but I think you're making subjective decisions about 'good' and 'reasonable' there.
I'm not making value judgements about the subjects at hand, I just think that you're placing a lot of your values as expectation for others. However, that's a whole other discussion! "
That’s been my experience though. And surely the clue is in the name, and “virtues” are things that most people would agree were good?
I don’t think anyone has ever been accused of “virtue signalling” after saying anything that most reasonable people considered to be a bad thing.
|
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I did it once. I was slating owners of tattoos for thinking they're not following the crowd when in actual fact they were conforming with all the other nonconformists (especially the tattoo with beard crowd, you know who you are..) when i was messaged by someone i hoped to get inside of. So i had to admit that their's wasn't quite as samey as everyone else's. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I've had a little more time to digest this topic now, so hopefully this be a little more on topic.
It seems virtue signalling can be split into several definite areas. These seem to be aligned to personality traits.
The first group collectively are the "bandwagon jumpers" who flit from cause to cause. I believe the most current bunch are the "Social Justice Warriors" who seem to be generally outraged by whatever the latest crusade is (race, LGBT, etc etc..) it appears many of these people have a low personal value and therefore define themselves by the causes they align themselves to, as they feel this gives them worth.
The second group who may appear to be virtue signalling are those that generally sit on the fence, but know they sit on the fence and are aware that fence sitting isn't a popular place to be, so come down on a particular side depending on the company or situation. This isnt true virtue signalling, this is more a personal travel through diplomacy. It probably wouldn't be noticed if it wasn't on the internet in black and white. Everyone likes to be liked and this is a display in agreeableness.
The last group are those chameleons who change their outlook to get what they want. This doesnt just have to be sex, i have seen people have almost complete personality changes when they want to switch career paths. They can be ruthless and almost sociopathic in dropping friends/aquaintances/hobbies in their pursuits..
Please note there is no scientific evidence for this other than what I have experienced in real life and off t'interweb "
Interesting and subjective definitions here; what about those that “campaign for” or talk about legitimate causes they believe in, no flitting or if I clarify further flip flopping - as surely they can believe in more than one cause at a time perfectly legitimately - where their personal self esteem levels are completely irrelevant to their interest and support in those causes? Are we not allowed to express want or desire for social change without being dismissed with negative name calling and insults as to whether we have “personal value” or are “flitting” or not? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not for me. I'm neither desperate to meet or to fit in. My opinion is my own and I would never alter it to impress or curry favour with someone. Bloody hell, in this instance it's words on a forum nothing more. If I have to change 'me' to try and get a meet I wouldn't want to meet that person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I dont really know what it means along with gas lighting breadcrumbing and all these other words
Virtue signalling- (to me) it's stating a viewpoint that you don't necessarily hold with simply because it's the 'correct' view to have.
Breadcrumbing- stringing someone along with short, non committal and intermittent messages with the intent of keeping their attention.
Gaslighting- making someone believe that their opinion or feelings are wrong, contrary to evidence or their impressions of a situation. "
Thanks I had no idea! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've had a little more time to digest this topic now, so hopefully this be a little more on topic.
It seems virtue signalling can be split into several definite areas. These seem to be aligned to personality traits.
The first group collectively are the "bandwagon jumpers" who flit from cause to cause. I believe the most current bunch are the "Social Justice Warriors" who seem to be generally outraged by whatever the latest crusade is (race, LGBT, etc etc..) it appears many of these people have a low personal value and therefore define themselves by the causes they align themselves to, as they feel this gives them worth.
The second group who may appear to be virtue signalling are those that generally sit on the fence, but know they sit on the fence and are aware that fence sitting isn't a popular place to be, so come down on a particular side depending on the company or situation. This isnt true virtue signalling, this is more a personal travel through diplomacy. It probably wouldn't be noticed if it wasn't on the internet in black and white. Everyone likes to be liked and this is a display in agreeableness.
The last group are those chameleons who change their outlook to get what they want. This doesnt just have to be sex, i have seen people have almost complete personality changes when they want to switch career paths. They can be ruthless and almost sociopathic in dropping friends/aquaintances/hobbies in their pursuits..
Please note there is no scientific evidence for this other than what I have experienced in real life and off t'interweb
Interesting and subjective definitions here; what about those that “campaign for” or talk about legitimate causes they believe in, no flitting or if I clarify further flip flopping - as surely they can believe in more than one cause at a time perfectly legitimately - where their personal self esteem levels are completely irrelevant to their interest and support in those causes? Are we not allowed to express want or desire for social change without being dismissed with negative name calling and insults as to whether we have “personal value” or are “flitting” or not? "
Then that’s not virtue signalling, virtue signalling is for vanity and seeking approval from your peers, or to obtain the moral high ground with someone. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I've had a little more time to digest this topic now, so hopefully this be a little more on topic.
It seems virtue signalling can be split into several definite areas. These seem to be aligned to personality traits.
The first group collectively are the "bandwagon jumpers" who flit from cause to cause. I believe the most current bunch are the "Social Justice Warriors" who seem to be generally outraged by whatever the latest crusade is (race, LGBT, etc etc..) it appears many of these people have a low personal value and therefore define themselves by the causes they align themselves to, as they feel this gives them worth.
The second group who may appear to be virtue signalling are those that generally sit on the fence, but know they sit on the fence and are aware that fence sitting isn't a popular place to be, so come down on a particular side depending on the company or situation. This isnt true virtue signalling, this is more a personal travel through diplomacy. It probably wouldn't be noticed if it wasn't on the internet in black and white. Everyone likes to be liked and this is a display in agreeableness.
The last group are those chameleons who change their outlook to get what they want. This doesnt just have to be sex, i have seen people have almost complete personality changes when they want to switch career paths. They can be ruthless and almost sociopathic in dropping friends/aquaintances/hobbies in their pursuits..
Please note there is no scientific evidence for this other than what I have experienced in real life and off t'interweb
Interesting and subjective definitions here; what about those that “campaign for” or talk about legitimate causes they believe in, no flitting or if I clarify further flip flopping - as surely they can believe in more than one cause at a time perfectly legitimately - where their personal self esteem levels are completely irrelevant to their interest and support in those causes? Are we not allowed to express want or desire for social change without being dismissed with negative name calling and insults as to whether we have “personal value” or are “flitting” or not?
Then that’s not virtue signalling, virtue signalling is for vanity and seeking approval from your peers, or to obtain the moral high ground with someone. "
Agreed. I just wanted that clearly stated so people don’t conflate the two (and thought it was better for me to post as a question rather than distinction so I wasn’t labelled. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
I don’t agree that virtue signalling is agreeing with others to ingratiate yourself with them. That’s a form of sycophancy or brown-nosing.
Virtue signalling is the “Ooooh look at me and all my good deeds and altruistic do-gooderyness” as a need to be acknowledged when irrelevant to discussions at hand or oft used as a means to self-righteously escape answering the actual topic query or any challenges or queries asking you to explain your opinion further or to clarify - the “I’m right because I went on the march, or because I cuddled someone once who had that issue or I’m a lovely person who is caring so don’t be questioning my opinion” - where someone refuses to discuss. It’s often met with the retort that “I work in this field too and disagree” as a way of demonstrating how irrelevant it all is as a point, as it’s still subjective opinion and even if was a fact in a specific instance cannot be extrapolated to cover all so is open to questions, disagreement and challenge. |
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'Virtue signalling' might have had some origins as a useful phrase in describing a a particular kind of person, but it's been killed of all meaning by conservative, anti-PC types who bring it out whenever anyone says anything against any form of bigotry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think virtue signalling is more when your deliberately trying to take something our of context so you can show how good you are usualy to the point of being beyond practicle
Like the thread abour sleep sex.
The op clearly mentioned that the mrs alowed it but there were one or two who virtue signaled about consent.
To the point that giving consent before going to bed that might was invalid by morning etc.
That to me is virtue signaling.
Where its not even realistic any more |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I think virtue signalling is more when your deliberately trying to take something our of context so you can show how good you are usualy to the point of being beyond practicle
Like the thread abour sleep sex.
The op clearly mentioned that the mrs alowed it but there were one or two who virtue signaled about consent.
To the point that giving consent before going to bed that might was invalid by morning etc.
That to me is virtue signaling.
Where its not even realistic any more"
I think that the term can be used to cover a multitude of evils. Much as with many terms, phrases or even words, we all ascribe out own personal values onto these things, which was partially why I asked the question.
To me, the example that you use is part of it yes, see also any thread about barebacking or sending cock pictures.
I think it's where people take an opportunity (mostly out of context) to state "well I wont/will" in an effort to prove their 'virtue'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think virtue signalling is more when your deliberately trying to take something our of context so you can show how good you are usualy to the point of being beyond practicle
Like the thread abour sleep sex.
The op clearly mentioned that the mrs alowed it but there were one or two who virtue signaled about consent.
To the point that giving consent before going to bed that might was invalid by morning etc.
That to me is virtue signaling.
Where its not even realistic any more"
I've asked about consent on threads about sleep sex when it's been unclear if the other person would consent.
A man asked what his girlfriend would think if he fucked her when she was asleep. I said he should ask her and not strangers on the internet.
If that's virtue signalling then I'm fine with that.
I think consent is important. Other people don't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think virtue signalling is more when your deliberately trying to take something our of context so you can show how good you are usualy to the point of being beyond practicle
Like the thread abour sleep sex.
The op clearly mentioned that the mrs alowed it but there were one or two who virtue signaled about consent.
To the point that giving consent before going to bed that might was invalid by morning etc.
That to me is virtue signaling.
Where its not even realistic any more
I've asked about consent on threads about sleep sex when it's been unclear if the other person would consent.
A man asked what his girlfriend would think if he fucked her when she was asleep. I said he should ask her and not strangers on the internet.
If that's virtue signalling then I'm fine with that.
I think consent is important. Other people don't. "
I mean the thread today where the op clearly stated consent was given and was just asking if anyone else liked dping it |
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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago
Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire |
"This is a fairly regular accusation pointed at people on the forums but what does it mean to you?
Do you honestly believe that you've never done it? That you hold true to all of your values, even in the face of that hot person that you really want to impress (after all its just words on a screen).
"
I have values and principles
and live by them. If some people consider that virtue signalling, that's their problem, not mine.
I take no notice of them, speak my mind and if they don't like it, tough. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think virtue signalling is more when your deliberately trying to take something our of context so you can show how good you are usualy to the point of being beyond practicle
Like the thread abour sleep sex.
The op clearly mentioned that the mrs alowed it but there were one or two who virtue signaled about consent.
To the point that giving consent before going to bed that might was invalid by morning etc.
That to me is virtue signaling.
Where its not even realistic any more
I've asked about consent on threads about sleep sex when it's been unclear if the other person would consent.
A man asked what his girlfriend would think if he fucked her when she was asleep. I said he should ask her and not strangers on the internet.
If that's virtue signalling then I'm fine with that.
I think consent is important. Other people don't.
I mean the thread today where the op clearly stated consent was given and was just asking if anyone else liked dping it"
I haven't seen that one. Was just giving an example of when I'd done it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is a fairly regular accusation pointed at people on the forums but what does it mean to you?
Do you honestly believe that you've never done it? That you hold true to all of your values, even in the face of that hot person that you really want to impress (after all its just words on a screen).
I have values and principles
and live by them. If some people consider that virtue signalling, that's their problem, not mine.
I take no notice of them, speak my mind and if they don't like it, tough."
Wouldn't it be nice to care about the outside world and others and be able to influence people? |
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"I think virtue signalling is more when your deliberately trying to take something our of context so you can show how good you are usualy to the point of being beyond practicle
Like the thread abour sleep sex.
The op clearly mentioned that the mrs alowed it but there were one or two who virtue signaled about consent.
To the point that giving consent before going to bed that might was invalid by morning etc.
That to me is virtue signaling.
Where its not even realistic any more"
I was one of the supposed virtue signallers in that case.
My point was that he clearly had a difficult relationship with his partner and what he was doing was, legally, ra pe, in that he didn't know if she was consenting to that particular act of sex.
I pointed out it might be all OK now, but if things turned pear shaped and she reported him to the police he wouldn't have a legal leg to stand on, hence best not to to do it.
Thus advice rather than "virtue signalling". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think virtue signalling is more when your deliberately trying to take something our of context so you can show how good you are usualy to the point of being beyond practicle
Like the thread abour sleep sex.
The op clearly mentioned that the mrs alowed it but there were one or two who virtue signaled about consent.
To the point that giving consent before going to bed that might was invalid by morning etc.
That to me is virtue signaling.
Where its not even realistic any more
I was one of the supposed virtue signallers in that case.
My point was that he clearly had a difficult relationship with his partner and what he was doing was, legally, ra pe, in that he didn't know if she was consenting to that particular act of sex.
I pointed out it might be all OK now, but if things turned pear shaped and she reported him to the police he wouldn't have a legal leg to stand on, hence best not to to do it.
Thus advice rather than "virtue signalling". "
I think we are talking about a very differnt thread |
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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago
Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire |
"This is a fairly regular accusation pointed at people on the forums but what does it mean to you?
Do you honestly believe that you've never done it? That you hold true to all of your values, even in the face of that hot person that you really want to impress (after all its just words on a screen).
I have values and principles
and live by them. If some people consider that virtue signalling, that's their problem, not mine.
I take no notice of them, speak my mind and if they don't like it, tough.
Wouldn't it be nice to care about the outside world and others and be able to influence people? "
It would, and I do.
However asking me to compromise on my values and principles is a non starter.
What is a man without principles? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think virtue signalling is more when your deliberately trying to take something our of context so you can show how good you are usualy to the point of being beyond practicle
Like the thread abour sleep sex.
The op clearly mentioned that the mrs alowed it but there were one or two who virtue signaled about consent.
To the point that giving consent before going to bed that might was invalid by morning etc.
That to me is virtue signaling.
Where its not even realistic any more
I was one of the supposed virtue signallers in that case.
My point was that he clearly had a difficult relationship with his partner and what he was doing was, legally, ra pe, in that he didn't know if she was consenting to that particular act of sex.
I pointed out it might be all OK now, but if things turned pear shaped and she reported him to the police he wouldn't have a legal leg to stand on, hence best not to to do it.
Thus advice rather than "virtue signalling". "
This one
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/873672#last
Is the one i was talking about |
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|
By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago
Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire |
"I think virtue signalling is more when your deliberately trying to take something our of context so you can show how good you are usualy to the point of being beyond practicle
Like the thread abour sleep sex.
The op clearly mentioned that the mrs alowed it but there were one or two who virtue signaled about consent.
To the point that giving consent before going to bed that might was invalid by morning etc.
That to me is virtue signaling.
Where its not even realistic any more
I've asked about consent on threads about sleep sex when it's been unclear if the other person would consent.
A man asked what his girlfriend would think if he fucked her when she was asleep. I said he should ask her and not strangers on the internet.
If that's virtue signalling then I'm fine with that.
I think consent is important. Other people don't. "
I remember that thread and I made the "horrible" comment that consent before sex is a good thing.
Some people got upset for some reason. Even if you are in a relationship with someone and agree to "sleep sex", the sensible thing to do in my humble opinion is gently wake them up with foreplay and make sure they are happy with sex.
How this was a controversial opinion remains a mystery to me.
There are stories and studies that show sexual assault/ abuse happens in relationships, what is wrong with having a willing partner? |
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"This is a fairly regular accusation pointed at people on the forums but what does it mean to you?
Do you honestly believe that you've never done it? That you hold true to all of your values, even in the face of that hot person that you really want to impress (after all its just words on a screen).
I have values and principles
and live by them. If some people consider that virtue signalling, that's their problem, not mine.
I take no notice of them, speak my mind and if they don't like it, tough.
Wouldn't it be nice to care about the outside world and others and be able to influence people?
It would, and I do.
However asking me to compromise on my values and principles is a non starter.
What is a man without principles?"
Life is compromise. Having unshakeable principles is not necessarily a good thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is a fairly regular accusation pointed at people on the forums but what does it mean to you?
Do you honestly believe that you've never done it? That you hold true to all of your values, even in the face of that hot person that you really want to impress (after all its just words on a screen).
I have values and principles
and live by them. If some people consider that virtue signalling, that's their problem, not mine.
I take no notice of them, speak my mind and if they don't like it, tough.
Wouldn't it be nice to care about the outside world and others and be able to influence people?
It would, and I do.
However asking me to compromise on my values and principles is a non starter.
What is a man without principles?
Life is compromise. Having unshakeable principles is not necessarily a good thing. "
I dunno that Stalin bloke did alright.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is a fairly regular accusation pointed at people on the forums but what does it mean to you?
Do you honestly believe that you've never done it? That you hold true to all of your values, even in the face of that hot person that you really want to impress (after all its just words on a screen).
I have values and principles
and live by them. If some people consider that virtue signalling, that's their problem, not mine.
I take no notice of them, speak my mind and if they don't like it, tough.
Wouldn't it be nice to care about the outside world and others and be able to influence people?
It would, and I do.
However asking me to compromise on my values and principles is a non starter.
What is a man without principles?"
Depends on his principles and how they sit with mine and others, he's a man I guess regardless and maybe there's always something new to learn from others, just my humble, confusing, rambling opinion mind... Don't stress petal....  |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I think virtue signalling is more when your deliberately trying to take something our of context so you can show how good you are usualy to the point of being beyond practicle
Like the thread abour sleep sex.
The op clearly mentioned that the mrs alowed it but there were one or two who virtue signaled about consent.
To the point that giving consent before going to bed that might was invalid by morning etc.
That to me is virtue signaling.
Where its not even realistic any more
I've asked about consent on threads about sleep sex when it's been unclear if the other person would consent.
A man asked what his girlfriend would think if he fucked her when she was asleep. I said he should ask her and not strangers on the internet.
If that's virtue signalling then I'm fine with that.
I think consent is important. Other people don't. "
I agree wholeheartedly with you. Consent is dynamic. Whilst couples who play in riskier ways like this (or consensual non consent play) all of which is fine, typically have spent a *lot* of time discussing, building trust etc and everyone can do what they want; however there’s gonna be that time once, one day maybe when someone changes their mind and things might go wrong - even those that play this way know that and are mindful and aware - to dismiss anyone querying consent, or even just asking the question because it’s a type of play they’ve not come across and for the query to be dismissed as “virtue signalling” speaks more to me actually of the person dismissing and perhaps their ability to acknowledge risk and the actuality of dynamic consent and that it’s a pretty valid query. Although, I’d reserve judgement to see how the question *might* be being asked and/or if it’s questioning or making preemptive judgement without asking more more clarity. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"
This one
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/873672#last
Is the one i was talking about
Ooooh the thread, gonna have a read as you’ve given the context. Let me see! "
Nope. I don’t see any of the various discussions in that thread as virtue signalling at all. I see it as different people having different opinions and discussing actually. I think the original OP wasn’t perhaps fully clear about the consent which stimulated questions albeit use of the word allow should demonstrate it wasn’t seen as entitlement. However, I think is fine people spoke about what they did and didn’t like - perhaps the first mention of sexual assault should have been seeking clarification rather than statement of fact however the poster then clarified they were discussing dynamism of consent which the longer term married couples/partner couples had in existence or never had cause (lucky them) go have felt necessary in their relationships. However, whilst an appreciation can be made for all those that enjoy “sleep sex” with understood consent, even if not dynamic consent where there’s been no issues - those people should also appreciate how different other people can feel esp. if they may have suffered past trauma and not dismiss the expression of clear consent as being “daft” or “less than” - and that was implied whether consciously or not in some of the post replies, or extrapolating what someone said so as to make it sound silly - that’s a bit judgey in the same way people think clarifying about consent is judgey of those that aren’t interested in giving clear consent IMO.
But no, no virtue signalling there actually. I disagree Carter. |
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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago
Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire |
"This is a fairly regular accusation pointed at people on the forums but what does it mean to you?
Do you honestly believe that you've never done it? That you hold true to all of your values, even in the face of that hot person that you really want to impress (after all its just words on a screen).
I have values and principles
and live by them. If some people consider that virtue signalling, that's their problem, not mine.
I take no notice of them, speak my mind and if they don't like it, tough.
Wouldn't it be nice to care about the outside world and others and be able to influence people?
It would, and I do.
However asking me to compromise on my values and principles is a non starter.
What is a man without principles?
Depends on his principles and how they sit with mine and others, he's a man I guess regardless and maybe there's always something new to learn from others, just my humble, confusing, rambling opinion mind... Don't stress petal.... "
Exactly, for example, stealing is wrong. Asking me to steal compromises my principles.
There is a significant difference with competence development and adhering to principles. |
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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago
Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire |
"This is a fairly regular accusation pointed at people on the forums but what does it mean to you?
Do you honestly believe that you've never done it? That you hold true to all of your values, even in the face of that hot person that you really want to impress (after all its just words on a screen).
I have values and principles
and live by them. If some people consider that virtue signalling, that's their problem, not mine.
I take no notice of them, speak my mind and if they don't like it, tough.
Wouldn't it be nice to care about the outside world and others and be able to influence people?
It would, and I do.
However asking me to compromise on my values and principles is a non starter.
What is a man without principles?
Life is compromise. Having unshakeable principles is not necessarily a good thing. "
The principles I live by focus primarily and behaviour and how I treat people I interact with.
They are not beliefs that cannot be modified or changed based on experiences.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have not held back on here, don’t care if I upset egos or the cliques. I always stay true to my views and opinions if people like them or not, even if that person disagreeing is hot |
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Since this thread was started I've seen several instances of virtue signalling. I've also noticed loads on Facebook. One example on Facebook was where a woman had posted in a group I belong to that a car had driven down her road really fast and gave the registration. The outrage! People claiming they'd never broken the speed limit, were always careful to never run a snail over, got out and pushed their car past schools, stopped and carried elderly people and pregnant women across the road...well, you get the picture |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since this thread was started I've seen several instances of virtue signalling. I've also noticed loads on Facebook. One example on Facebook was where a woman had posted in a group I belong to that a car had driven down her road really fast and gave the registration. The outrage! People claiming they'd never broken the speed limit, were always careful to never run a snail over, got out and pushed their car past schools, stopped and carried elderly people and pregnant women across the road...well, you get the picture"
I Facebook. |
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