FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > People not getting the picture paticularly men
People not getting the picture paticularly men
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why do men believe that the more you hound a woman you will get a reply. No one is honour bound to answer anyone surely it is normal to wait for a reply if not give it up. Being nasty just to get a response is narcissistic behaviour and just goes to show how insecure you are that you can't leave it be? All the while it just amuses me the responses and how deaperate/nasty they can get. Surely not the only one who gets this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because it's an internet site full of strangers. Normal rules don't apply and some will adopt any tactic to get a response.
Maybe it's just frustration, maybe it's a true reflection of their personality, who knows. Just block them, they should be used to that response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lots of people get this.
Unfortunately in all walks of life, people will not like rejection, whether they have actually been told ‘no’ or have just had their message ignored.
Women, couples, TS/TVs etc are all guilty of this too. Obviously not EVERYONE is, but people from all genders/couples can be guilty of this. Not just the men.
It’s annoying, especially if I’m having a shit day and they say something that really gets to me. But if it happens just block them  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Because it's an internet site full of strangers. Normal rules don't apply and some will adopt any tactic to get a response.
Maybe it's just frustration, maybe it's a true reflection of their personality, who knows. Just block them, they should be used to that response. "
To be fair it just amuses me just honestly don't understand peoples mentality. Thought sex and swinging was meant to be fun surely they are not doing it right ha. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because it's an internet site full of strangers. Normal rules don't apply and some will adopt any tactic to get a response.
Maybe it's just frustration, maybe it's a true reflection of their personality, who knows. Just block them, they should be used to that response.
To be fair it just amuses me just honestly don't understand peoples mentality. Thought sex and swinging was meant to be fun surely they are not doing it right ha. "
Well they're not doing it at all cos no one replies  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Lots of people get this.
Unfortunately in all walks of life, people will not like rejection, whether they have actually been told ‘no’ or have just had their message ignored.
Women, couples, TS/TVs etc are all guilty of this too. Obviously not EVERYONE is, but people from all genders/couples can be guilty of this. Not just the men.
It’s annoying, especially if I’m having a shit day and they say something that really gets to me. But if it happens just block them "
Oh I agree not just men just in my personal experience mainly men x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do men believe that the more you hound a woman you will get a reply. No one is honour bound to answer anyone surely it is normal to wait for a reply if not give it up. Being nasty just to get a response is narcissistic behaviour and just goes to show how insecure you are that you can't leave it be? All the while it just amuses me the responses and how deaperate/nasty they can get. Surely not the only one who gets this?"
Desperation I'd say, their true colours in every day society can be hidden for a brief moment on Fab, but the reasons they have very little success irl come to the surface very quickly when they don't get their way, block and move on! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of people get this.
Unfortunately in all walks of life, people will not like rejection, whether they have actually been told ‘no’ or have just had their message ignored.
Women, couples, TS/TVs etc are all guilty of this too. Obviously not EVERYONE is, but people from all genders/couples can be guilty of this. Not just the men.
It’s annoying, especially if I’m having a shit day and they say something that really gets to me. But if it happens just block them
Oh I agree not just men just in my personal experience mainly men x "
It’s mostly men for me as well  just ignore and block. And if appropriate, report |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why do men believe that the more you hound a woman you will get a reply. No one is honour bound to answer anyone surely it is normal to wait for a reply if not give it up. Being nasty just to get a response is narcissistic behaviour and just goes to show how insecure you are that you can't leave it be? All the while it just amuses me the responses and how deaperate/nasty they can get. Surely not the only one who gets this?
Desperation I'd say, their true colours in every day society can be hidden for a brief moment on Fab, but the reasons they have very little success irl come to the surface very quickly when they don't get their way, block and move on! "
Yep hard to coerce people on here find swingers to be a lot more on the ball to be fair. It just amuses me xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it comes from frustration a lot of the time. It can't be pleasant being constantly rejected so they lash out. That's not excusing it of course. "
I kinda get that I am good at the devils advocate stuff so agree with your point of view. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I think it comes from frustration a lot of the time. It can't be pleasant being constantly rejected so they lash out. That's not excusing it of course. "
I think that if I was a man who had to deal with constant rejection/being ignored I'd find it a bit frustrating to put it mildly. As it is right now I get a bit harumph if my message isn't replied to straight away (such a princess) so for some men it must be shitty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get the frustration being a single male but even so if i dont get a reply i just take it as a not intersted and move on unlike 90% of the idiots on here had a guy the other week send me no less that 20 messages in an hour it was obvious he hadnt read my p e there for i didnt reply his messages ranged from hi to whats your f***ing problem you say you bi but you wont meet me your a f***ing liar your not bi and everything in between |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do men believe that the more you hound a woman you will get a reply. No one is honour bound to answer anyone surely it is normal to wait for a reply if not give it up. Being nasty just to get a response is narcissistic behaviour and just goes to show how insecure you are that you can't leave it be? All the while it just amuses me the responses and how deaperate/nasty they can get. Surely not the only one who gets this?"
Never understood a mans way of thinking. It puts a bad name to a lot of men on here. No response is a good a no. However a lot of people show they are online and not. So maybe a courteous message to say you're not interested is the way forward |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the issues lie in perception
Many people join thinking this is the site to enhance their sexual self
Then, despite there being an extensive menu on offer, you find that most of it is not available to you
Brick wall follows brick wall follows brick wall
It then becomes a tiresome slog as opposed to the fannyfest you thought it would be
Dogged determination often brings out the darker side of people
I think that's where people are at when the shit starts to get flung
It's not stylish and it's certainly not attractive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I first joined as a single male i hardly got any replies.
It was difficult as i thought to myself, i am not a bad looking guy with a decent body, my messages are always respectful with my personality showing through and my profile was good.
It was as frustrating as hell to start with before I understood how Fab works for single guys.
That being said i never once felt like harassing or abusing anyone for not replying or saying no thanks as it’s not my way.
It does say something about those who feel the need to abuse or harass because they don’t get replies or knocked back and are frustrated as a result.
We clearly state on our profile that we are not meeting and are only on here to speak to our friends and have fun in the forums.
We still get messages from guys mostly wanting to meet, if they are polite we will respond nicely say no thanks and good luck.
If they are crass or rude we delete and block and for the worst offenders they get a suitably sarcastic reply before blocking!!!
LJ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it comes from frustration a lot of the time. It can't be pleasant being constantly rejected so they lash out. That's not excusing it of course. "
It's shit getting no replies. They see all the veris and think everyone else is having fun and they're the only one being excluded.
If someone keeps asking after I've said no, I just tell them I'd never meet anyone who can't take no for an answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do men believe that the more you hound a woman you will get a reply. No one is honour bound to answer anyone surely it is normal to wait for a reply if not give it up. Being nasty just to get a response is narcissistic behaviour and just goes to show how insecure you are that you can't leave it be? All the while it just amuses me the responses and how deaperate/nasty they can get. Surely not the only one who gets this?"
Agreed.. a lot of guys detest rejection and they handle it ::really:: badly..
On the flipside i've seen guys get blocked without even messaging someone, so thats.. a thing as well... wierdly.. |
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There's a lot of entitled men out there. There are women like it too. However, it's not just on here. You'll see it on literally every form of social media.
Incels is a thing, even if it is a delusion. |
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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago
Deep in the New Forest |
Male.. female... couples. They are all capable of getting shitty if rejected. But maybe it comes across like it mainly men because of the ratio of Male profiles over any other. Personally it doesnt bother me if I dont get a reply or if I'm not someones type. Each to their own and all that. As long as you're polite and respectful of each other then there should be no need to to get shitty with anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's a lot of entitled men out there. There are women like it too. However, it's not just on here. You'll see it on literally every form of social media.
Incels is a thing, even if it is a delusion. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I advise everyone to block me on my profile- they’ve only got themselves to blame if they don’t. I rarely send a first message so proactivity and reading my profile would save them from having to see my profile and ever converse with me.
Unfortunately they can’t avoid the bollocks I post on here. They can choose to ignore it though |
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I don’t know why some resort to the pushy desperate messages but Fab gives us the tools to try and reduce them. Block individual profiles, report abusive messages or filter to allow only certain groups or ages to message. It’s not perfect but it helps. Personally I just delete the message and make a note on the profile.
Use Fab in the best way for you! If you can pay no mind to those messages and reply to the ones that attract you then you’ll win! |
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Reason I'm not interested in 'straight' guys, you never know if the constant rejection means third best (Single Women or Couples 1&2 ) us Tgirls will do. One guy admitted it thinking I'd take it as some sort of compliment 
I do feel sorry as some guys come across as very genuine, but at the same time most likely drop me like a stone if 'something better' comes along. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don’t know why some resort to the pushy desperate messages but Fab gives us the tools to try and reduce them. Block individual profiles, report abusive messages or filter to allow only certain groups or ages to message. It’s not perfect but it helps. Personally I just delete the message and make a note on the profile.
Use Fab in the best way for you! If you can pay no mind to those messages and reply to the ones that attract you then you’ll win! "
I just get amused by it doesn't annoy me I only reply if I want and only had good experiences. Just wondered what people had to say about it. Also kinda saying as it is it doesn't work ha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Reason I'm not interested in 'straight' guys, you never know if the constant rejection means third best (Single Women or Couples 1&2 ) us Tgirls will do. One guy admitted it thinking I'd take it as some sort of compliment
I do feel sorry as some guys come across as very genuine, but at the same time most likely drop me like a stone if 'something better' comes along. "
Some people would drop anyone if 'something better' came along. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Why do men believe that the more you hound a woman you will get a reply. No one is honour bound to answer anyone surely it is normal to wait for a reply if not give it up. Being nasty just to get a response is narcissistic behaviour and just goes to show how insecure you are that you can't leave it be? All the while it just amuses me the responses and how deaperate/nasty they can get. Surely not the only one who gets this?
Never understood a mans way of thinking. It puts a bad name to a lot of men on here. No response is a good a no. However a lot of people show they are online and not. So maybe a courteous message to say you're not interested is the way forward "
No, a courteous response is a step backwards. Less pestering and abuse if you don't respond in the first place |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I reply with a ‘no thank you’ message I usually get one back thanking me for replying and they often wish me well. I don’t really experience pushy behaviour thank goodness. "
I usually get nice replies too, thanking me for treating them like a human. 
The ones who keep asking are usually at 3am and they're too lazy to have a wank.  |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"When I reply with a ‘no thank you’ message I usually get one back thanking me for replying and they often wish me well. I don’t really experience pushy behaviour thank goodness.
I usually get nice replies too, thanking me for treating them like a human.
The ones who keep asking are usually at 3am and they're too lazy to have a wank. "
Yep |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Reason I'm not interested in 'straight' guys, you never know if the constant rejection means third best (Single Women or Couples 1&2 ) us Tgirls will do. One guy admitted it thinking I'd take it as some sort of compliment
I do feel sorry as some guys come across as very genuine, but at the same time most likely drop me like a stone if 'something better' comes along. "
I was dropped for "something better" once, then the "something better" turned out to be a no show. Found that out via his whiney status, peotic justice lol. |
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"Reason I'm not interested in 'straight' guys, you never know if the constant rejection means third best (Single Women or Couples 1&2 ) us Tgirls will do. One guy admitted it thinking I'd take it as some sort of compliment
I do feel sorry as some guys come across as very genuine, but at the same time most likely drop me like a stone if 'something better' comes along.
I was dropped for "something better" once, then the "something better" turned out to be a no show. Found that out via his whiney status, peotic justice lol. "
Brilliant
I got a no show once, luckily I was near a club so it didn't matter, still had a good night |
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"Why do men believe that the more you hound a woman you will get a reply. No one is honour bound to answer anyone surely it is normal to wait for a reply if not give it up. Being nasty just to get a response is narcissistic behaviour and just goes to show how insecure you are that you can't leave it be? All the while it just amuses me the responses and how deaperate/nasty they can get. Surely not the only one who gets this?"
"Men" don't. Some "men" do.
If you're being hounded the solution is simple.
Say no thank you and block, or even just straight out block. You'll never be hounded again.
The site gives you the tools. Use them. Enjoy the peace. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get 99.9% no read or rejection. For every rejection I will respond thank you for respond8ng.
I will never ever send a crappy message back. That is effectively like throwing a drink in the face when a lady says no thanks in a pub. Would anyone do that in real life?
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By *andyladMan
over a year ago
Hereorthere |
"Why do men believe that the more you hound a woman you will get a reply. No one is honour bound to answer anyone surely it is normal to wait for a reply if not give it up. Being nasty just to get a response is narcissistic behaviour and just goes to show how insecure you are that you can't leave it be? All the while it just amuses me the responses and how deaperate/nasty they can get. Surely not the only one who gets this?"
It's the boobs definitely the boobs |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"I'm the complete opposite, women usually say I come across as not interested enough. Quite often I'm not tbh
You only have eyes for one that's all "
I would get told that before we ever met though, think I'm too laid back/lazy and women generally like to be chased. |
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By *J RHEAMan
over a year ago
S West |
"I'm the complete opposite, women usually say I come across as not interested enough. Quite often I'm not tbh "
Same, I had a social the other day, had a hug said I'd like to see you again etc. Got home few messages and I said it was nice to meet you, I got a sarcastic reply saying finally.
I'm thinking the fact, I didn't just get up and walk out, I was laughing all the way through, and said I'd like to see you again, implies I had a good time. |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"I'm the complete opposite, women usually say I come across as not interested enough. Quite often I'm not tbh
Youre just so laid back in general that’s all "
I think as a single guy on here it helps to be, if you get constantly rejected that's when the frustration sets in and then you can act in a way that's generally out of character. Have a take it or leave it attitude and fab is a lot more enjoyable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people have learned that if they pester then people will cave in.
This is why most women avoid pushy men, because they don't actually care aboout consent.
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm the complete opposite, women usually say I come across as not interested enough. Quite often I'm not tbh
Youre just so laid back in general that’s all
I think as a single guy on here it helps to be, if you get constantly rejected that's when the frustration sets in and then you can act in a way that's generally out of character. Have a take it or leave it attitude and fab is a lot more enjoyable."
Love your attitude how it should be |
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men again 