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valentines rymes ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"anybody got any nawty rymes for valentines cards"
You might like/not like this..
"Lets sin
On a tiger-skin
Or, if you prefer
We could err
On a different fur
Happy Valentine's Day, fellow sinner"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Roses are red,
It's elementary,
Let's ring up a friend,
And try double-entry.
Roses are awful,
Violets are the pits,
Lift up your shirt,
And show us your tits.
Roses are stupid,
Violets are silly,
Lube up your pussy,
Cos here comes my willy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Roses are red
violets are blue
get in the van I've got a knife
(insert name) oh!
I love you so
especially in your nighty
When the moonlight flits
Across your tits
JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"anybody got any nawty rymes for valentines cards my current favourite
roses are straight
violets are twisted
bend over luv
your about ot get fisted !
try getting that on a moonpig card !"
They will print it, I had a card done from Moonpig, it was filthy and arrived next day as promised lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got a gun
GET IN THE VAN!
I nearly wet myself laughing when my mate posted that on Facebook."
Well it made me smile and hope its not a serious one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The response....Valentines day dinner - £70 Drinks - £50 Taxi - £20 Hotel - £300 .. The look on your face when she tells you she's on her period! PRICELESS !! The Look On Her Face When You Tell Her Its Goin up her arse!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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roses are red
violets are blue
my cock is hard
and I want...........................................................................................................................................to brainwash you so you will be my sex slave forever,mwahahhahah  |
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Will you be my valentine play fight
I'll be in the mood then for shagging all night
I'll lift up your shirt and bite on your nip
My wrists will be red for your pinning down grip
I'll pull down your pants and my hand will sting 'eek'
As I leave my hand print on your rosey bum cheek
Sweaty and panting do you know what is best
We'll start off fully clothed and finish undressed. |
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Will you be my valentine
I’ll cook your steak
I’ll pour you wine
I’ll light a candle
I’ll set the mood
The spread you get
Won’t just be food
Will you be my valentine
I’ll treat you well
I’ll treat you fine
I’ll stroke you softly
I’ll touch and tease
The things I’ll do
Are meant to please
Will you be my valentine
I will be yours
If you are mine
I’m yours to take
But please do not mock
If after anal
There’s shit on your cock
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Roses are blue
Violets are red
I'm coloured blind
and so is my bed"
Roses are blue
Violets are red
Daffodils are green
I’m from venues
With a double ended pennies
So drop your knicks
And just for kicks
I’ll cum
All over your tum
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"Roses are red
And so is your cock where you had the warts burnt off
hallmark will be on the phone any minute  "
I sent them one and they didn't like it....
Roses are red
Carnations are pink
Will you shit in my mouth
and make my breath stink
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Roses are red
And so is your cock where you had the warts burnt off
hallmark will be on the phone any minute
I sent them one and they didn't like it....
Roses are red
Carnations are pink
Will you shit in my mouth
and make my breath stink
"
Thats ridiculous....doesnt someone shitting in their mouth make their breath stink? tut tut |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only after one thing is what most women say
after one thing on this valentines day,
Don't trust the Vicar he's diddled a few
he's diddled your sister he'll diddle you too,
Don't trust the Copper he's rattled some too
he'll rattle the naughty but sometimes the true,
The Lawyers and Bankers are ever so rude
when it comes to these two we all have been screwed.
So who can you trust on this valentines day
who can you trust in the right kind of way,
Who'll pay for the dinner or pay for the lunch
who'll buy you the flowers and pick out the bunch,
Who'll pay for the cinema, buy you the card
if you think it through darling it's really not hard,
The best part of all is your really in luck
at the end of the night all I want is a f***! |
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When I wake on Valentines Day
Will I get a nice surprise?
Will I be excited and get belly butterflies?
Will the postman walk up to my door?
Will there be something on the mat?
A something that won’t leave a stain and squeezed out by the cat.
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You are my Sunday morning, it’s the one I love the most
It’s when I can have a fry-up, instead of hurried toast
It’s the one where I can lay in bed and savour all the bliss
Of staying in my bed so long with nothing planned to miss
It’s the one which brings serenity where all is good and calm
A special day where little things are seen for their real charm
When I get up I’ll sit in peace, not uttering a word
The pleasure as my bowels relax and fill the loo with turd
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are my Sunday morning, it’s the one I love the most
It’s when I can have a fry-up, instead of hurried toast
It’s the one where I can lay in bed and savour all the bliss
Of staying in my bed so long with nothing planned to miss
It’s the one which brings serenity where all is good and calm
A special day where little things are seen for their real charm
When I get up I’ll sit in peace, not uttering a word
The pleasure as my bowels relax and fill the loo with turd
"
Very good |
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My dear, my love, my darling, twenty years we’ve been together
We’ve stood the test of time and sailed our way through stormy weather
So what if time has left its scars, so what if you’re now grey
So what if you are not as svelte as on our wedding day
I don’t mind all you’re cuddly bits and the wrinkles on your face
Gravity may have played around and pulled things out of place
It’s been twenty years my darling from the roof I want to shout
My knock-off won euro millions, so it’s time to kick you out!
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