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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Carrying on from another thread.
Does it matter if someone is fat?
What is classed as fat?
Do fat people have feelings or are they the brunt of too many jokes and chastisement? |
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Have to say when i was at my heaviest ive never been the brunt of jokes. I live in a small town so everyone just knows everyone. Obviously i had the "oh your a big girl" comments ect. Obviuosly a small amount of abuse over the years. But dont people (unfortunatly) get some form of abuse in there life if they dont fit the perfect stereo type. Just look at the jokes about red heads.
It never bothered me being fat, i was happy, ive always had friends, boyfriends. It never impacted on my life(or so i thought).
Ive never bothered if my friends have been a size 10 or a size 20, just something that had never influenced me.
However, since loosing weight(althought im still fat) i realized it did impact on the things i did and in the last year i wasnt happy and i certainly wasnt healthy, so i got off my fat arse and did something about it. Ive always said if your truelly happy and healthy whatever size good for you, if your not happy or healthy only you can do something about it.
Im still fat, im a size 16, IF i had to stay this weight forever im very comfortable in my skin, ive sorted my health issues and i am a different person. However, i want to loose more weight because the feeling is very addictive of getting on the scales and being lighter or not wearing something for a couple of weeks and putting it on and it being too big. So i think now its the buzz, thats why im genuinely not bothered that the loss has slowed down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm fat (just in case it had escaped anyones notice) 
It matters to me in terms of health complications but not in terms of vanity / image.
That said, it did matter a hell of a lot as a teen and in my early 20's.
Maturity and having the confidence and love of someone helped me turn that into something positive.
As for what is fat, to me it is someone who carries an unhealthy weight for their height, no someone who is half a stone over their ideal medical weight.
As for if fat people have feelings, course we do.
Some deal with the jibes better than others. It's like water off a ducks back most of the time, but the odd comment still throws me to this day.
In terms of being attractive, I realise I am not everyones cuppa, but I don't hide behind a veil of smoke and mirrors.
What you see in my pics is what you get - no point in it being any other way.
The key is that whilst I am not attractive to everyone, I am attractive to some - and some of them I will find attractive in return.
A lot of fat people assume that rejection happens because of their weight when that isn't always the case - it could be cos they are too tall, too small, too hairy, too old, too young etc etc
No one is attractive to everyone.
I make the best of what I have within my means and mindset.
If I changed my image by losing more weight, waxing my body hair, wearing contacts etc, it would be for me and no one else.
At the moment, I am happy with my lot - if that changes in the future, only time will tell, but at the minute I would be changing it to 'fit in' (no pun intended) which is something I've never been very good at ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It doesnt matter if someone is fat if they are happy, am thinking dawn french, shes lost weight and looks even better, though she said she is still overweight. If someone has health problems, then it does matter.Being plump and being fat is two different things. I used to be slim and one of the best things about being slim is you dont have to worry about people taking the piss or looking down their noses at you amongs other things, i dont mind so much if people poke fun in a jokey nice sort of way, but dont like it when people are nasty. You need a thick skin to be fat, and quite confident in yourself, like dawn french is and i admire her for that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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for me it's a purely subjective issue....at 6'1 and weighing in at nearly 14 stones with a bit of a podge...I consider myself fat, thought not overweight...have started down the gym 4 times a week for an hour a time with a half hour swim to follow.....the only person's opinion who matters to me...is mine...anyone else can get stuffed .....hmmmmm stuffed........i do miss stuffed crust pizza
.
.
 |
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Im a Big girl whos in the process of losing weight due to health reasons(lost just under 3stones just now) but you know what im the most confidant person i know and i know i will still be me whether im 20 stones or 10 stones so what other people think of me is irelevant look at peoples personality and not the skin their in ...treat people with respect regardless of their size because at the end of the day they are human beings and they do have feelings . |
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"Carrying on from another thread.
Does it matter if someone is fat?
What is classed as fat?
Do fat people have feelings or are they the brunt of too many jokes and chastisement?"
of course fat people have feelings, what an odd question 
The sad fact of the matter is other people dot seem to think they d and so most overweight people put on a front. I for one will ALWAYS make the fat oke first, especially in a group of new people. It takes the wind out of the bullies sails a bit
of course you can be healthy and overweight, i know people who are technically obese but have o health problems, lead active lives moutainerring etc but people dont see that, they just see a fat person |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm fat. Always have been, presume I always will be.
I've had the fat jokes all my life and all that goes with it.
The reasons for the questions I asked is the fact that anyone with some extra lumber on them knows they have but it just seems the chastisement doesn't really stop even when you reach adulthood (check the Adele thread) so just because someone is classed as fat, does it give the beuatiful crowd the right to pull anyone up on it?
Btw, it doesn't bother me I'm fat but it does nark me when people jump on someone without taking a look at themselves. |
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Just thinking that in many years on another site I was never made to feel so uncomfortable about my size as I do reading these forums. Is it me or is there an obsession with what makes someone a BBW or which fat people have feelings (FFS).
As always it's my fault for reading them and I don't normally get upset or join in... Must be pmt But can't we all just get on and accept we are all different and are attracted to different things ??
T (now cowardly sitting in the corner awaiting the shouting replies ) |
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"Just thinking that in many years on another site I was never made to feel so uncomfortable about my size as I do reading these forums. Is it me or is there an obsession with what makes someone a BBW or which fat people have feelings (FFS).
As always it's my fault for reading them and I don't normally get upset or join in... Must be pmt But can't we all just get on and accept we are all different and are attracted to different things ??
T (now cowardly sitting in the corner awaiting the shouting replies ) "
Long as you are happy...
To hell with what others think...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just thinking that in many years on another site I was never made to feel so uncomfortable about my size as I do reading these forums. Is it me or is there an obsession with what makes someone a BBW or which fat people have feelings (FFS).
As always it's my fault for reading them and I don't normally get upset or join in... Must be pmt But can't we all just get on and accept we are all different and are attracted to different things ??
T (now cowardly sitting in the corner awaiting the shouting replies ) "
Reading these forums could make anybody go potty with self doubt !
And not just on the weight issue.
There are common themes that pop up and similar points get raised.
Being fat, over 40, hairy, partnered, bisexual and just generally opinionated, I get to join in loads of 'em |
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"Just thinking that in many years on another site I was never made to feel so uncomfortable about my size as I do reading these forums. Is it me or is there an obsession with what makes someone a BBW or which fat people have feelings (FFS).
As always it's my fault for reading them and I don't normally get upset or join in... Must be pmt But can't we all just get on and accept we are all different and are attracted to different things ??
T (now cowardly sitting in the corner awaiting the shouting replies ) "
not a shouting reply - promise
but i think it shows more about you ad your outlook that you take offese at these topics
i am overweight, not just a little ut a lot ad i have never been made to feel uncomfortable or out of place because of this, yes some people dont like it and will make some stupid comment but they are often dealt with quickly. all they are doing is showing people how ugly they are
i guess there are more threads about BBWs etc as its a term used more on sites such as this tha in real life, some people genuinely dot know what it is, some are trolls trying to stir things up  |
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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago
oldbury |
well im a fatty im a bbw who is loosing weight now she is finally happy in life and yes we have feelings how ever when i was skinny i was told i was fat i was a size 10 but top heavy so had to buy bigger sizes because i had huge boobs that made me wear a 14-16 top then i gained weight and still had grief so i think some people will just pick on you for the sake of it. I have not had many problems on this site with my size but have on others if anything being on here has boosted my confidence |
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"Just thinking that in many years on another site I was never made to feel so uncomfortable about my size as I do reading these forums. Is it me or is there an obsession with what makes someone a BBW or which fat people have feelings (FFS).
As always it's my fault for reading them and I don't normally get upset or join in... Must be pmt But can't we all just get on and accept we are all different and are attracted to different things ??
T (now cowardly sitting in the corner awaiting the shouting replies )
Reading these forums could make anybody go potty with self doubt !
And not just on the weight issue.
There are common themes that pop up and similar points get raised.
Being fat, over 40, hairy, partnered, bisexual and just generally opinionated, I get to join in loads of 'em "
Im not hairy but i wear glasses, actually we dont get any four eyes threads lol |
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I'll just toughen up a bit and not post after a bad day. As said it's my outlook and problem and I should just get my arse (fat one at that lol) back to slimming world and read a good book rather than these forums. No more whinging promise  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i've had weight issues all my life i was a podgy kid which made me a nice big target for bullies then a comment made by well meaning friend of my mothers when i was around 8 or 9 stung me to the core she said "if you lost a little weight you'd be quite pretty" this made me believe that not only was i the fat kid in the village i was also the ugly one
this left me with many issues and with a mother that continuely dieted and tried to make me the same then a step father coming along and insisting on making defamitory remarks about my weight even grounding me till i lost a stone in weight locking all the food cupboards so i could only eat what he gave me, at this point i weighed 11 n half stone and he wanted me to weigh 9 n half i was 5ft 5 so not really hugely overweight for my height but he most certainly managed to make me feel like the size of a bus
by the time i left home at 16 i had got down to the 9 n half stone he required of me but it had left me with an eating disorder i can't claim to of been anorexic i never went that far but i hardly ate a thing as i needed to feel control and most days i would eat just a mars bar buying it in the morning and cutting it into 10 sections and allowing my self one section per hour of the day, i shrunk so a size 10 was loose on me and the last time i ever weighed myself i was just under 8 stone but i know i shrunk lower than that as the size 10 was tight at that weight and got looser after that, i used to enjoy feeling hungry and love feeling my stomach being concave and i loved more than anything laying down and seeing my hip bones stick up
i then at 17 met mr B and soon after moved in with him at his mothers house and before long i was feeling so loved that i didn't care about the empty feeling and even though right at the start i would eat such rediculously small portions within 6 months i was eating just the same ammount as evryone else at the dinner table and slowly but surely that size 10 became a 12 then a 14 then by the time we married a size 16
then a simple remark from someone that meant not a jot to anyone else than a passing remark about a friend looking great now they had lost some weight got me all paranoid again and before i knew it i had full blown bulimia as i couldn't control the eating side anymore so i decided i could just get the damn stuff right back out afterwards
this carried on for a fair few years i managed to fall pregnant twice during all of this, the first time i didn't pick up on the morning sickness i just thought in my niavety that my body was just getting rid of the food for me out of habit as i'd done it for so long
i gained quite a bit of weight during both pregnacies as i carried on with the binging but i stopped the forced sickness as i was scared the heaving would damage the babies but once they were born i went straight back to my old habits
what bought me to an abrupt end to the throwing up was the day i looked up from the toilet bowl to see our oldest son in the bathroom doorway copying me popping his tiny fingers down his throat this made my heart break so bad i was so scared of the damage i was doing to my child i just stopped that day and have never done it since
i admitted a few days latter to Mr B that i had bulimia and he gently persuaded me to go to the docs which i did but i've never been very good at recieving help i like to sort out my own problems so i came away and tried to self council myself on it but i failed in many ways as i carried on binging when i felt low but i did manage to stay away from the throwing up but this meant i piled on the weight
for many yeas i hated the way i looked and even though my wonderful hubby would tell me all the time he found me beautiful and managed to make me believe him i just thought he was blind as he loved me and didn't see the ugly me everyone else saw
friends would compliment me also but i just felt it was what friends did i never saw it as honest compliments many of then were clumsy like "you always look so well turned out for a big girl" like a big gal should be dressed in a whole lotta ugly stuff not in nice clothes but i guess working in the industry i do it made me feel i should always make the most of who i am no matter what i'm feeling thankfully
all the same i would walk with my head down hoping the world would ignore me
but it never did you see being so lacking in self confidence made me a target yet again those bullies from school never grow out of it and even as adults feel the need to make some random person walking along minding their own business feel bad about themselves by making nasty comments as they pass close by or even better shouting it across the street at you for everyone to hear, oh the best ones are the ones that spit on you like your worth nothing just because you wobble or barge into you as you walk through town then say "oh sorry didn't see you there" then laugh as they declaire to their friends "as if"
my turning point came when a member of staff in tesco made a cruel comment about me that i over heard and Mr B, when he came home that night and found me in peices, went straight up there and made a complaint and the woman admitted it, thankfully, and i sunk to my lowest i refused to go anywhere on my own for the longest time admitting to my friends how i felt was difficult but i had to to help them understand why i was having panic attacks everytime i tried to go out alone the only place i felt safe was at home with my family and in the salon i worked in at the time, the two became my safety bubbly i felt so confident in them as i felt loved and safe in both of them
with hubby and friends now knowing how low i had sunk they worked hard to build my confidence back up and slowly but surely i got there it took me giving myself some very hard shakes and talkings too making myself understand i was incredibly lucky to have a womderful husband that loved me just the way i was and 2 beautiful sons that loved me just they way i was and a great group of friends that loved me just they way i was for me to start loving myself just the way i was
once i realised this my confidence soared really quite fast and suddenly i could go out on my own again with my head held so damn high i just didn't care what others opinion of me was as those that mattered in my life liked me for me not what dress size i was and if tohers wanted to judge me on how much i wobbled then they just were never going to be the kind of person i would want in my life anyway so why should they bother me even just one jot
from then the abuse from strangers got less as my confidence was evident in the way i walked so i wasn't the easy target they sought out but when it did come my way i would smile my biggest smile and wave sweetly and say "why thankyou for noticing" it was just priceless the look on their faces
since then my weight carried on creeping up just purely as i'm a foodie i love nice tasting things and never really been much good on portion control and it doesn't help living in a house with 3 men that can eat anything they like and not pop an ounce on, a fact i'm grateful for as our sons never had to feel the pain i felt from the abuse i recieved
i have done everything i can to help other friends with confidence issues feel good about themselves and see that its the person that matters not the skin they are in and it also made me become very difiant when it come to conforming i never want to be who others think i should be i'm a good person with a good heart and i will never bend in any direction to please others
this was why when my poor overworked back gave out on me 3 years ago i found it very hard to give in to the inevitable and loose weight as i felt i was giving in and conforming it took me a good year of fighting it and refusing and trying to just live with the pain before i gave in and started the only thing that was going to help me, loose weight
i felt like a betrayer of my own cause as a freedom for the fat brigade even though it was my own cause in my own head wih only me as a memeber but it was importnat to me i might only be able to change the opinion of a very small minority of those that come into contact with me but it was important to ke so i then found myself constantly appologising for my weight loss, quite pathetic really
i even find myself sabotaging it from time to time i'm going throught that phase agian at the mo but i'm starting to recognise it and address it slowly but surely i have no desire to be slim i just needed to be pain free as i was scared i'd have to give up work and that fear was bigger than having to explain why i was loosing weight to all those i had told i didn't care about my weight all those years
so i reach the end of what i have to say and i can't even remeber the post that started it but i hope what i say makes a little sense in relation to it or i'm gonna look like a right loon, nowt new there then lol
didn't even know we could use as many characters in threads on here i gotta be honest been waiting for it to tell me ffs woman shut up enough already lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The so called BMI index available to look at on many websites, including the NHS, does not help, I am six foot five and the top end of fourteen stone but seem to be classed as obese!
Any clues?
Just be happy with how you are! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hang on! Have I missed something? this wasn't a thread having a go at people with a few extra lbs.
It was an observation that some people think they are better than those that carry some extra flesh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i've had weight issues all my life i was a podgy kid which made me a nice big target for bullies then a comment made by well meaning friend of my mothers when i was around 8 or 9 stung me to the core she said "if you lost a little weight you'd be quite pretty" this made me believe that not only was i the fat kid in the village i was also the ugly one
this left me with many issues and with a mother that continuely dieted and tried to make me the same then a step father coming along and insisting on making defamitory remarks about my weight even grounding me till i lost a stone in weight locking all the food cupboards so i could only eat what he gave me, at this point i weighed 11 n half stone and he wanted me to weigh 9 n half i was 5ft 5 so not really hugely overweight for my height but he most certainly managed to make me feel like the size of a bus
by the time i left home at 16 i had got down to the 9 n half stone he required of me but it had left me with an eating disorder i can't claim to of been anorexic i never went that far but i hardly ate a thing as i needed to feel control and most days i would eat just a mars bar buying it in the morning and cutting it into 10 sections and allowing my self one section per hour of the day, i shrunk so a size 10 was loose on me and the last time i ever weighed myself i was just under 8 stone but i know i shrunk lower than that as the size 10 was tight at that weight and got looser after that, i used to enjoy feeling hungry and love feeling my stomach being concave and i loved more than anything laying down and seeing my hip bones stick up
i then at 17 met mr B and soon after moved in with him at his mothers house and before long i was feeling so loved that i didn't care about the empty feeling and even though right at the start i would eat such rediculously small portions within 6 months i was eating just the same ammount as evryone else at the dinner table and slowly but surely that size 10 became a 12 then a 14 then by the time we married a size 16
then a simple remark from someone that meant not a jot to anyone else than a passing remark about a friend looking great now they had lost some weight got me all paranoid again and before i knew it i had full blown bulimia as i couldn't control the eating side anymore so i decided i could just get the damn stuff right back out afterwards
this carried on for a fair few years i managed to fall pregnant twice during all of this, the first time i didn't pick up on the morning sickness i just thought in my niavety that my body was just getting rid of the food for me out of habit as i'd done it for so long
i gained quite a bit of weight during both pregnacies as i carried on with the binging but i stopped the forced sickness as i was scared the heaving would damage the babies but once they were born i went straight back to my old habits
what bought me to an abrupt end to the throwing up was the day i looked up from the toilet bowl to see our oldest son in the bathroom doorway copying me popping his tiny fingers down his throat this made my heart break so bad i was so scared of the damage i was doing to my child i just stopped that day and have never done it since
i admitted a few days latter to Mr B that i had bulimia and he gently persuaded me to go to the docs which i did but i've never been very good at recieving help i like to sort out my own problems so i came away and tried to self council myself on it but i failed in many ways as i carried on binging when i felt low but i did manage to stay away from the throwing up but this meant i piled on the weight
for many yeas i hated the way i looked and even though my wonderful hubby would tell me all the time he found me beautiful and managed to make me believe him i just thought he was blind as he loved me and didn't see the ugly me everyone else saw
friends would compliment me also but i just felt it was what friends did i never saw it as honest compliments many of then were clumsy like "you always look so well turned out for a big girl" like a big gal should be dressed in a whole lotta ugly stuff not in nice clothes but i guess working in the industry i do it made me feel i should always make the most of who i am no matter what i'm feeling thankfully
all the same i would walk with my head down hoping the world would ignore me
but it never did you see being so lacking in self confidence made me a target yet again those bullies from school never grow out of it and even as adults feel the need to make some random person walking along minding their own business feel bad about themselves by making nasty comments as they pass close by or even better shouting it across the street at you for everyone to hear, oh the best ones are the ones that spit on you like your worth nothing just because you wobble or barge into you as you walk through town then say "oh sorry didn't see you there" then laugh as they declaire to their friends "as if"
my turning point came when a member of staff in tesco made a cruel comment about me that i over heard and Mr B, when he came home that night and found me in peices, went straight up there and made a complaint and the woman admitted it, thankfully, and i sunk to my lowest i refused to go anywhere on my own for the longest time admitting to my friends how i felt was difficult but i had to to help them understand why i was having panic attacks everytime i tried to go out alone the only place i felt safe was at home with my family and in the salon i worked in at the time, the two became my safety bubbly i felt so confident in them as i felt loved and safe in both of them
with hubby and friends now knowing how low i had sunk they worked hard to build my confidence back up and slowly but surely i got there it took me giving myself some very hard shakes and talkings too making myself understand i was incredibly lucky to have a womderful husband that loved me just the way i was and 2 beautiful sons that loved me just they way i was and a great group of friends that loved me just they way i was for me to start loving myself just the way i was
once i realised this my confidence soared really quite fast and suddenly i could go out on my own again with my head held so damn high i just didn't care what others opinion of me was as those that mattered in my life liked me for me not what dress size i was and if tohers wanted to judge me on how much i wobbled then they just were never going to be the kind of person i would want in my life anyway so why should they bother me even just one jot
from then the abuse from strangers got less as my confidence was evident in the way i walked so i wasn't the easy target they sought out but when it did come my way i would smile my biggest smile and wave sweetly and say "why thankyou for noticing" it was just priceless the look on their faces
since then my weight carried on creeping up just purely as i'm a foodie i love nice tasting things and never really been much good on portion control and it doesn't help living in a house with 3 men that can eat anything they like and not pop an ounce on, a fact i'm grateful for as our sons never had to feel the pain i felt from the abuse i recieved
i have done everything i can to help other friends with confidence issues feel good about themselves and see that its the person that matters not the skin they are in and it also made me become very difiant when it come to conforming i never want to be who others think i should be i'm a good person with a good heart and i will never bend in any direction to please others
this was why when my poor overworked back gave out on me 3 years ago i found it very hard to give in to the inevitable and loose weight as i felt i was giving in and conforming it took me a good year of fighting it and refusing and trying to just live with the pain before i gave in and started the only thing that was going to help me, loose weight
i felt like a betrayer of my own cause as a freedom for the fat brigade even though it was my own cause in my own head wih only me as a memeber but it was importnat to me i might only be able to change the opinion of a very small minority of those that come into contact with me but it was important to ke so i then found myself constantly appologising for my weight loss, quite pathetic really
i even find myself sabotaging it from time to time i'm going throught that phase agian at the mo but i'm starting to recognise it and address it slowly but surely i have no desire to be slim i just needed to be pain free as i was scared i'd have to give up work and that fear was bigger than having to explain why i was loosing weight to all those i had told i didn't care about my weight all those years
so i reach the end of what i have to say and i can't even remeber the post that started it but i hope what i say makes a little sense in relation to it or i'm gonna look like a right loon, nowt new there then lol
didn't even know we could use as many characters in threads on here i gotta be honest been waiting for it to tell me ffs woman shut up enough already lol"
wow.
such a humbling story, thankyou |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me it's not a matter if vanity or image. Heart disease is the biggest killer in this country and other illness are on the rise that have a link to body fat (weight is actually irrelevant). As a father to young children I drag my sorry arse out of bed and go running so that I can keep up with them AND I want to be around as long as possible (stepping out in front of a bus notwithstanding).
By the way, spring onions are by far the best food for reducing the risk of heart disease, they're just not great for your sex life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just thinking that in many years on another site I was never made to feel so uncomfortable about my size as I do reading these forums. Is it me or is there an obsession with what makes someone a BBW or which fat people have feelings (FFS).
As always it's my fault for reading them and I don't normally get upset or join in... Must be pmt But can't we all just get on and accept we are all different and are attracted to different things ??
T (now cowardly sitting in the corner awaiting the shouting replies )
not a shouting reply - promise
but i think it shows more about you ad your outlook that you take offese at these topics
i am overweight, not just a little ut a lot ad i have never been made to feel uncomfortable or out of place because of this, yes some people dont like it and will make some stupid comment but they are often dealt with quickly. all they are doing is showing people how ugly they are
i guess there are more threads about BBWs etc as its a term used more on sites such as this tha in real life, some people genuinely dot know what it is, some are trolls trying to stir things up "
Couldn't agree more. Comments made by strangers on the internet don't bother me in the least.
Besides, my talking mirror tells me I'm gorgeous every day...so there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Carrying on from another thread.
Does it matter if someone is fat?
What is classed as fat?
Do fat people have feelings or are they the brunt of too many jokes and chastisement?"
1. their choice/business
2. Swingers ain't got no class
3. Yes they have feelings if they have a pulse.
4. Yes they bear the brunt of too many jokes and chastisement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hang on! Have I missed something? this wasn't a thread having a go at people with a few extra lbs.
It was an observation that some people think they are better than those that carry some extra flesh."
They are better at controlling weight either through more exercise or less eating its common seance.
Do people really need to ask what fat is in this day and age? Its all around us. |
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"Hang on! Have I missed something? this wasn't a thread having a go at people with a few extra lbs.
It was an observation that some people think they are better than those that carry some extra flesh.
They are better at controlling weight either through more exercise or less eating its common seance.
Do people really need to ask what fat is in this day and age? Its all around us. "
no one is asking what it is, you just seem to want to point it out lol
what (i think) the OP is asking is, is it right for people to say hurtful things to people who are fat? if so why is it right?
and if you are one of these people how does it make you feel, is it your intention to hurt people? (added that question as its somthing i have pondered for some time)
oh and not 'your' in relation to the poster i quoted - 'your' meaing geeral people who say the hurtful things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hang on! Have I missed something? this wasn't a thread having a go at people with a few extra lbs.
It was an observation that some people think they are better than those that carry some extra flesh.
They are better at controlling weight either through more exercise or less eating its common seance.
Do people really need to ask what fat is in this day and age? Its all around us.
no one is asking what it is, you just seem to want to point it out lol
what (i think) the OP is asking is, is it right for people to say hurtful things to people who are fat? if so why is it right?
and if you are one of these people how does it make you feel, is it your intention to hurt people? (added that question as its somthing i have pondered for some time)
oh and not 'your' in relation to the poster i quoted - 'your' meaing geeral people who say the hurtful things"
The starter asked what is classed as fat I just think its a daft question as we should all know. Most carry some fat cos its good for you. Being black had my fair share of abuse and wasn't skinny when younger. I could do something about my weight but not my colour. Shame people feel that have to change for others. Do it toy yourself I say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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people will find something to take a dig at you regardless. being overweight is just 1 thing on a long list
personally i will always try to spare peoples feelings but none of us are saints
most of us will have been on the recieving end and will of given some aswell |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hang on! Have I missed something? this wasn't a thread having a go at people with a few extra lbs.
It was an observation that some people think they are better than those that carry some extra flesh.
They are better at controlling weight either through more exercise or less eating its common seance.
Do people really need to ask what fat is in this day and age? Its all around us.
no one is asking what it is, you just seem to want to point it out lol
what (i think) the OP is asking is, is it right for people to say hurtful things to people who are fat? if so why is it right?
and if you are one of these people how does it make you feel, is it your intention to hurt people? (added that question as its somthing i have pondered for some time)
oh and not 'your' in relation to the poster i quoted - 'your' meaing geeral people who say the hurtful things"
In a nutshell  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not all fatness is down to over eating, yes I was fat for most of my child and adult hood, all the paternal side of my family were and are overweight, then 6 years ago I managed to lose a lot of weight mainly due to the fact that I had had diabetes for 20 years and didn't want further health problems in my later life, I went from a size 26 to a 14, after 4 years of keeping the weight of, I started to develop other health problems which were not weight related and because of the medication I am now on I am back to a size 20 even though I am eating the same as when I was slimmer, yes you develop a thick skin and put on a brave face to those that just see fat as someone who sits on their arse all day stuffing their faces and not that there could be a medical reason for it and yes it does still hurt when comments are made but unfortunately you have to live with the ignorance of others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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having ben branded fat since i was about 11 i havent really had any jibes about it since my late teens, or at least nothing i hear anyway.
get more crap for going bald nowadays lol.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its funny because in other societies, being fatter is a sign of status, wealth and achievement.
Western society has only recently (in real terms) villified it.
Oh and I have been a size 10 and a size 22, in my adult life, currently a size 16 and have to say happiness isn't linked to size, in my case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For years I have been called "Fat Face" by my evil sister, and my mum is forever having a go about me being overweight.
I am happy for what I am, size wise.
And I am in relative good health.
So what is the frigging problem?
It is other people's problem with my size, not mine!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest i think the most judgemental people about size are people on here
Ive been all sizes from a size 24 to a size 10 and every size inbetween as an adult, im a classic yo yo dieter always have been always will be, in real life i hardly ever got any comments on my size even at my biggest, just the odd cheeky kid would call me
But on here!!!! flipping heck people are just totally obsessed with size 
ive lost count of the...your a fat cow anyway message i got, the amount of rude comments on forums about big ladies, for so called open minded people some cant half be nasty |
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"Hang on! Have I missed something? this wasn't a thread having a go at people with a few extra lbs.
It was an observation that some people think they are better than those that carry some extra flesh.
They are better at controlling weight either through more exercise or less eating its common seance.
Do people really need to ask what fat is in this day and age? Its all around us.
no one is asking what it is, you just seem to want to point it out lol
what (i think) the OP is asking is, is it right for people to say hurtful things to people who are fat? if so why is it right?
and if you are one of these people how does it make you feel, is it your intention to hurt people? (added that question as its somthing i have pondered for some time)
oh and not 'your' in relation to the poster i quoted - 'your' meaing geeral people who say the hurtful things"
I don't think a lot of the comments that the overweight get - from friends, family, lovers - (not talking about the insulting messages here, I don't know why anyone would do that) - are intended to be hurtful at all. I know from experience that it's hard to say anything weight related to someone who has issues with it without them feeling hurt, when all you want to do is help. And it seems often all they want from you is acceptance, but when someone you care about has back pains, parents with diabetes and heading the same way, not to mention that they would simply look so much better with less weight, it's hard to say nothing. So rather than bring the subject up and have a proper adult discussion, which would probably be the most sensible idea, you try to make light of it and just drop the odd hint now and then. Which is obviously taken the wrong way. But us who have never been overweight really don't understand the emotional issues, so forgive us if we get it wrong sometimes.
I spent most of my younger life trying to put ON weight due to comments about being skinny, and about there being "nothing of" me - really makes you feel valued, that one - so I've seen it from the other end so to speak. If it's as hard for the overweight to lose weight as it is for the underweight to gain it, give us all a break, we are fighting our bodies here. Some of us feel full a little early and some a little late, that is all it takes. It's not really a choice, it's what your stomach tells you. A few hundred calories a week more than we need and we get fat, a few less and we get thin. Experiments have shown that some people just cannot alter the amount they eat, it's preset.
Having said that, the crap we eat these days must play a role, just look at tv from the 70s and see how much slimmer people were then before fast food.
Might have drifted slightly off topic there, sorry! My point was that what is often taken to be hurtful is not always meant to be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always respond with this line whenever anyone comments on my size (I'm a heavy set bloke).
"I can always lose weight, whereas you will always be a fucking wanker."
No-one has ever tried to say anything more when I've replied with that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always respond with this line whenever anyone comments on my size (I'm a heavy set bloke).
"I can always lose weight, whereas you will always be a fucking wanker."
No-one has ever tried to say anything more when I've replied with that."
same here 'I might be fat but you're ugly and I can diet'   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think everyone's view is different, from my point of view I don't care what body size a woman is so long as she is a nice person they could be stick thin or BBW. However on the flip side of the coin, I used to be slim, nicely toned, I would say relatively FIT in appearance, but now I've put weight on in the last few years,but at 6'3 I manage to hide it fairly well... until I'm naked, but tohers always seem to say I have a good body? Maybe they are just polite, but I don't see it in myself. Just my 2p worth |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The intention of the thread wasn't to make judgement on people that are overweight (both of us are overweight btw)
The focus was meant to be aiming at why does it matter if someone is larger, just because they are doesn't mean it needs pointing out as we are all aware of our bodies (everyone included).
Some people use the fat jokes at others' expense and do it maliciously to hurt their feelings, yet, they wouldn't do it about peoples nationality or colour.
It shouldn't matter about someones size, just how they are as a person.
On this site there thousands of members and there isn't two people alike. We all have opinions and different trains of thought, some read too much into a subject where others don't give it a seconds thought, it's how PEOPLE take situations and comments regardless of size and stature.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm fat, and often am the brunt of many jokes, but luckily i dont have feelings so its all good..
some people get offended by skinny jokes some by fat jokes but in the end thats all they are.. jokes... but its when people start hammering on about weight/size/etc and how disgusting people are for being fat/skinny/bi/straight/gay/flat-chested/big-boobed etc etc etc that its offensive.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am comfortable in my skin - I own the fact I am a bigger guy and it doesn't bother me. My aesthetic is only appreciated by a few people - I understand its not for everyone life would be fucking boring if we all liked the same thing.
Jokes are fine but getting personal and judging a person on looks is just narrow minded ignorant behaviour exhibited by pathetic little people
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It seams to us that ur a lepper if your fat, you can be skinny and hit with the ugly stick and no-one bats an eyelid. Carry a few extra pounds and people dont want to play with you, bourn out by the amount of times we have been in a club and cleared a room.
Yes larger people have feelings, everyone dose its just that some can hide their hurt better than others. We are both large but are genuine unlike alot of the pretty crowd who turn up to parties and clubs walk round with their hair n makeup done to the nine's but never actualy do anything yet boast we are swingers cos we went to a club.
i personaly would rather play with people of the larger perswasion because they seam to have better outlooks on life |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"It seams to us that ur a lepper if your fat, you can be skinny and hit with the ugly stick and no-one bats an eyelid. Carry a few extra pounds and people dont want to play with you, bourn out by the amount of times we have been in a club and cleared a room.
Yes larger people have feelings, everyone dose its just that some can hide their hurt better than others. We are both large but are genuine unlike alot of the pretty crowd who turn up to parties and clubs walk round with their hair n makeup done to the nine's but never actualy do anything yet boast we are swingers cos we went to a club.
i personaly would rather play with people of the larger perswasion because they seam to have better outlooks on life"
What if you are FAT AND UGLY then, personally i feel that some think its not pc to describe a more portly person as fat yet they seem to think its ok to use the description "stick insect" to describe someone who isnt...double standards or what??  |
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dont think i used the words stick insect in my post, i did use skinny and ugly though and that was is my opinion you dont have to agree with me or are you calling us fat and ugly?
all my earlier comments are from experiance and how we have been made to feel. its each to their own and everyone isnt everyone's cup of tea but in reflection thats what we have found to be true and can only comment on such!!!! |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"dont think i used the words stick insect in my post,you dont have to agree with me or are you calling us fat and ugly?
all my earlier comments are from experiance and how we have been made to feel. its each to their own and everyone isnt everyone's cup of tea but in reflection thats what we have found to be true and can only comment on such!!!!"
My my one is touchy isnt one, you didnt use the word insect, i would have quoted if you had....my post is a reflection of what i have found and friends of mine have experienced....if you are going to debate a subject then please remember others views may differ to yours, and some may look at the bigger picture( no pun intended)you seem to equate skinny with ugly....that appears to be your opinion does it not? Well thats what you put in your post
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always respond with this line whenever anyone comments on my size (I'm a heavy set bloke).
"I can always lose weight, whereas you will always be a fucking wanker."
No-one has ever tried to say anything more when I've replied with that."
i used to get loads of shit off a migit i used to work with.
he gave a bit once at work, and the gaffer was stood with me. he looked at me for a reaction, so i turned and said 'i will be 12 stone before you will be 6ft ya prick!'
boss just walked off laughing |
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"dont think i used the words stick insect in my post,you dont have to agree with me or are you calling us fat and ugly?
all my earlier comments are from experiance and how we have been made to feel. its each to their own and everyone isnt everyone's cup of tea but in reflection thats what we have found to be true and can only comment on such!!!!My my one is touchy isnt one, you didnt use the word insect, i would have quoted if you had....my post is a reflection of what i have found and friends of mine have experienced....if you are going to debate a subject then please remember others views may differ to yours, and some may look at the bigger picture( no pun intended)you seem to equate skinny with ugly....that appears to be your opinion does it not? Well thats what you put in your post
"
I did not say all skinny people are ugly i said and i quote 'you CAN be skinny and hit with the ugly stick and no-one bats an eyelid', how is that saying they are all ugly??????????
think you must be the touchy one sorry!!! try reading it twice in case you miss a word or two befor you jump to conclusions |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
Read your post....no you didnt say all skinny people were ugly, but equate skinny with ugly in your post.....and object to the words fat and ugly in the same sentence.....its in black and white....clear double standards.... so what you are saying is its not ok for people to discriminate against fat people but its ok for skinny people to be discriminated against.....because they dont feel it as much? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Read your post....no you didnt say all skinny people were ugly, but equate skinny with ugly in your post.....and object to the words fat and ugly in the same sentence.....its in black and white....clear double standards.... so what you are saying is its not ok for people to discriminate against fat people but its ok for skinny people to be discriminated against.....because they dont feel it as much? "
No, just because they dont have as much to feel it in... IM JOKING BTW!!! before anyone jumps down my neck lol...
Skinny, Fat, Ugly, Pretty... it can all be used to insult people and it shouldn't...
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Read your post....no you didnt say all skinny people were ugly, but equate skinny with ugly in your post.....and object to the words fat and ugly in the same sentence.....its in black and white....clear double standards.... so what you are saying is its not ok for people to discriminate against fat people but its ok for skinny people to be discriminated against.....because they dont feel it as much?
No, just because they dont have as much to feel it in... IM JOKING BTW!!! before anyone jumps down my neck lol...
Skinny, Fat, Ugly, Pretty... it can all be used to insult people and it shouldn't...
"
i agree, but you cant say "oh im being discriminated against and it hurts my feelings" then go and do it yourself to another group of people..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The intention of the thread wasn't to make judgement on people that are overweight (both of us are overweight btw)
The focus was meant to be aiming at why does it matter if someone is larger, just because they are doesn't mean it needs pointing out as we are all aware of our bodies (everyone included).
Some people use the fat jokes at others' expense and do it maliciously to hurt their feelings, yet, they wouldn't do it about peoples nationality or colour.
It shouldn't matter about someones size, just how they are as a person.
On this site there thousands of members and there isn't two people alike. We all have opinions and different trains of thought, some read too much into a subject where others don't give it a seconds thought, it's how PEOPLE take situations and comments regardless of size and stature.
"
People are taking this thread too serious, take it easy |
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"Read your post....no you didnt say all skinny people were ugly, but equate skinny with ugly in your post.....and object to the words fat and ugly in the same sentence.....its in black and white....clear double standards.... so what you are saying is its not ok for people to discriminate against fat people but its ok for skinny people to be discriminated against.....because they dont feel it as much? "
have you re read my post??????
no where did i say skinny people are ugly and also no where did i say fat people are ugly either or object to it!!!!
so plz tell me where i have double standards?? since when did saying you can be sinny and ugly equate them as being ugly???
think i also said everyone has feelings and all get hurt by derogatory comments but some hide that hurt more than others. So no i'm not saying its ok for skinny people to be discriminated against cos they dont feel it as much. maybe i should have said 'you could be skinny' instead of can. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Read your post....no you didnt say all skinny people were ugly, but equate skinny with ugly in your post.....and object to the words fat and ugly in the same sentence.....its in black and white....clear double standards.... so what you are saying is its not ok for people to discriminate against fat people but its ok for skinny people to be discriminated against.....because they dont feel it as much?
have you re read my post??????
no where did i say skinny people are ugly and also no where did i say fat people are ugly either or object to it!!!!
so plz tell me where i have double standards?? since when did saying you can be sinny and ugly equate them as being ugly???
think i also said everyone has feelings and all get hurt by derogatory comments but some hide that hurt more than others. So no i'm not saying its ok for skinny people to be discriminated against cos they dont feel it as much. maybe i should have said 'you could be skinny' instead of can."
maybe you should have.....lets face it rejection isnt nice no matter what grounds..but some handle it better than others.... |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"so you carnt point out where i have double standards now then lol prob cos there wasnt any in the first place!!!! ah well"
oh there was..but back peddling is another thread....i am happy to know what i know...dont forget your bicycle clips |
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"so you carnt point out where i have double standards now then lol prob cos there wasnt any in the first place!!!! ah welloh there was..but back peddling is another thread....i am happy to know what i know...dont forget your bicycle clips "
think what you will i no there was none and i'm happy to have proven you wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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lets face facts, even though society is getting bigger (proven through studies AND the fact that when you ladies go shopping its only small sizes left on the racks ;o)) it is still more socially acceptable to be of a small build than large, yet, health wise, the extremes of either wedge can bring their own equeally dire problems.
what is the ideal weight? personally, i dont think there is one. Em is around 11 stone and thinks she is big, but her doctor tells her she looks good and healthy and she doesnt need to lose weight (according to the bmi chart she is overweight), i am around 23 stone (got down from almost 27 sometime last year) and havent been to see a doctor for any health problems for around 10 ears, so what does that say? |
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How many female halves think "No, we are not playing with them, she is fat"!?
How many say "No, we are not playing with them, she is slim"!?
As it is 99% of the time the females decision...who do you think loses out the most?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many female halves think "No, we are not playing with them, she is fat"!?
How many say "No, we are not playing with them, she is slim"!?
As it is 99% of the time the females decision...who do you think loses out the most?
"
with us, its slim, as Em likes similar body type to herself |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OK!
Lets all go have some chips and cream cakes.....
"
I'll have fish, chips, peas and onion rings with 5 slices of bread and butter and a can of Diet Coke |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"lets face facts, even though society is getting bigger (proven through studies AND the fact that when you ladies go shopping its only small sizes left on the racks ;o)) it is still more socially acceptable to be of a small build than large, yet, health wise, the extremes of either wedge can bring their own equeally dire problems.
what is the ideal weight? personally, i dont think there is one. Em is around 11 stone and thinks she is big, but her doctor tells her she looks good and healthy and she doesnt need to lose weight (according to the bmi chart she is overweight), i am around 23 stone (got down from almost 27 sometime last year) and havent been to see a doctor for any health problems for around 10 ears, so what does that say?"
It says you have ten ears!!!!
I would deffo book an appointment to see the Doc |
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