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If your freinds partner
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No I wouldn’t.
If it was my best friend I’m not sure, I think I’d speak to him. It’s one of those things where I don’t think you’d know what you’d do unless it happened. I’ve seen husbands of people I know on here. None of my business. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I told a friend that there partner was on here I felt that the person had a right to know I’d sure as hell want to know if mr m was on here with out my knowledge and visa a versa I think
Mrscxxx |
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"I told a friend that there partner was on here I felt that the person had a right to know I’d sure as hell want to know if mr m was on here with out my knowledge and visa a versa I think
Mrscxxx "
So you told a friend cos YOU'D like to know. That doesn't mean they want to know.
We can all think of several outcomes. Will you feel responsible for any of them when they happen ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I told a friend that there partner was on here I felt that the person had a right to know I’d sure as hell want to know if mr m was on here with out my knowledge and visa a versa I think
Mrscxxx
So you told a friend cos YOU'D like to know. That doesn't mean they want to know.
We can all think of several outcomes. Will you feel responsible for any of them when they happen ?"
True and honestly no I wouldn’t feel bad about it the partner should not be going behind there back
Mrscxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I told a friend that there partner was on here I felt that the person had a right to know I’d sure as hell want to know if mr m was on here with out my knowledge and visa a versa I think
Mrscxxx
So you told a friend cos YOU'D like to know. That doesn't mean they want to know.
We can all think of several outcomes. Will you feel responsible for any of them when they happen ?
True and honestly no I wouldn’t feel bad about it the partner should not be going behind there back
Mrscxxx "
But surely that’s not your business? |
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"I told a friend that there partner was on here I felt that the person had a right to know I’d sure as hell want to know if mr m was on here with out my knowledge and visa a versa I think
Mrscxxx
So you told a friend cos YOU'D like to know. That doesn't mean they want to know.
We can all think of several outcomes. Will you feel responsible for any of them when they happen ?
True and honestly no I wouldn’t feel bad about it the partner should not be going behind there back
Mrscxxx "
I don't know your reasons for carrying potentially harmful messages about others.
You say 'they shouldn't' go behind their partners back but you've decided that and you are not part of their relationship.
How many people have they :- met, shagged etc ? Any ? |
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I would feel concerned for my friend and i'd probably wish and hope that things work out for them both but pushing some poison under their door wouldn't give them times to sort themselves out.
Sometimes people just like the superior feeling it gives them to be the bringer of bad news.
No one who stopped and thought of others for a moment would try to steer the boat for them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I knew my ex was cheating on me, I knew in my stomach. It wouldn't have mattered what "proof" I had, he'd have still tried to convince me I was wrong, everyone was wrong, I was crazy etc.
The fallout can be devastating if they aren't willing to be honest about it, will twist things round and can leave others (especially if they're partner isn't the kindest of souls) wondering if they're ready for the men in white coats to come get them.
At one point I knew they were together, don't ask me how but I knew. I went to the pub in my pjs just to catch them together. I did, I watched through the window and saw them, they didn't kiss or show intimacy but they were together as predicted by my gut. The barman saw me and told my ex I was outside, my ex came out, forced me inside the pub, and had the nerve to introduce me to her, then another bloke as her boyfriend (turned "the boyfriend" barely knew her)
He tried to convince me for 9 months I was mental, I was paranoid, I was all of these things I didn't believe I was, but then started to question. Was I mad? Did I need "proper help?"
Something inside me snapped and I kicked him out (the relationship hadn't been a happy one for years and years and I had suffered lots of emotional and more than my fair share of physical abuse)
15 months after he went I found out the truth, and I was right all along.
Someone telling me wouldn't have made the slightest bit of difference, coz I already knew. Aside from catching him and videoing them being intimate, there really was nothing I or anyone else could do as everything had a "story" or a "reason" and it was all about me being paranoid/mad.
Shit but true.
P |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
I agree with you OP. I wouldn't hesitate to tell a friend of mine if her partner or husband was on here or any other site.
If it was my partner then I would want to know and I'd be very upset with by friend if I then found out that they didn't tell me.
I couldn't imagine in my wildest dreams how I would feel if my partner was on here ( I dont have one ). Its probably something you'd never get over.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would feel concerned for my friend and i'd probably wish and hope that things work out for them both but pushing some poison under their door wouldn't give them times to sort themselves out.
Sometimes people just like the superior feeling it gives them to be the bringer of bad news.
No one who stopped and thought of others for a moment would try to steer the boat for them. "
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Yeah, I would tell. Unless it was against the sites rules.
A friend of mine found out her bf was on a fetish site being a bareback bull for couples, when another friend of hers came across his page and told her. Whats wrong with telling her that? |
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"I knew my ex was cheating on me, I knew in my stomach. It wouldn't have mattered what "proof" I had, he'd have still tried to convince me I was wrong, everyone was wrong, I was crazy etc.
The fallout can be devastating if they aren't willing to be honest about it, will twist things round and can leave others (especially if they're partner isn't the kindest of souls) wondering if they're ready for the men in white coats to come get them.
At one point I knew they were together, don't ask me how but I knew. I went to the pub in my pjs just to catch them together. I did, I watched through the window and saw them, they didn't kiss or show intimacy but they were together as predicted by my gut. The barman saw me and told my ex I was outside, my ex came out, forced me inside the pub, and had the nerve to introduce me to her, then another bloke as her boyfriend (turned "the boyfriend" barely knew her)
He tried to convince me for 9 months I was mental, I was paranoid, I was all of these things I didn't believe I was, but then started to question. Was I mad? Did I need "proper help?"
Something inside me snapped and I kicked him out (the relationship hadn't been a happy one for years and years and I had suffered lots of emotional and more than my fair share of physical abuse)
15 months after he went I found out the truth, and I was right all along.
Someone telling me wouldn't have made the slightest bit of difference, coz I already knew. Aside from catching him and videoing them being intimate, there really was nothing I or anyone else could do as everything had a "story" or a "reason" and it was all about me being paranoid/mad.
Shit but true.
P"
I was in that position too but not as aware as you was, but I’m the opposite I’d have been thankful if I’d known I’d wasted years with a cheating ex and time lost is never recoverable all my friends that knew was lost I’d never care for them the same after finding out, they thought the same saying it’s none of my business but it was awkward but something I’d appreciate, if anyone knows ask them if hypothetically if they had a partner that was cheating would they like to know, give them a choice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I knew my ex was cheating on me, I knew in my stomach. It wouldn't have mattered what "proof" I had, he'd have still tried to convince me I was wrong, everyone was wrong, I was crazy etc.
The fallout can be devastating if they aren't willing to be honest about it, will twist things round and can leave others (especially if they're partner isn't the kindest of souls) wondering if they're ready for the men in white coats to come get them.
At one point I knew they were together, don't ask me how but I knew. I went to the pub in my pjs just to catch them together. I did, I watched through the window and saw them, they didn't kiss or show intimacy but they were together as predicted by my gut. The barman saw me and told my ex I was outside, my ex came out, forced me inside the pub, and had the nerve to introduce me to her, then another bloke as her boyfriend (turned "the boyfriend" barely knew her)
He tried to convince me for 9 months I was mental, I was paranoid, I was all of these things I didn't believe I was, but then started to question. Was I mad? Did I need "proper help?"
Something inside me snapped and I kicked him out (the relationship hadn't been a happy one for years and years and I had suffered lots of emotional and more than my fair share of physical abuse)
15 months after he went I found out the truth, and I was right all along.
Someone telling me wouldn't have made the slightest bit of difference, coz I already knew. Aside from catching him and videoing them being intimate, there really was nothing I or anyone else could do as everything had a "story" or a "reason" and it was all about me being paranoid/mad.
Shit but true.
P
I was in that position too but not as aware as you was, but I’m the opposite I’d have been thankful if I’d known I’d wasted years with a cheating ex and time lost is never recoverable all my friends that knew was lost I’d never care for them the same after finding out, they thought the same saying it’s none of my business but it was awkward but something I’d appreciate, if anyone knows ask them if hypothetically if they had a partner that was cheating would they like to know, give them a choice "
Don't get me wrong, I'd have liked the proof. But that's exactly what was needed and nothing else would have sufficed. Concrete video evidence. Something that he could absolutely not deny/manipulate
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's been said time and again tho, unless you're privy to their intimate private life, nobody knows if the friends partner is actually cheating, unless of course it says on their profile that they're married and the spouse doesn't know. Even then, they could be still technically married, yet separated, tho still living in the same house.
There could be any number of scenarios going on.
P |
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It's precisely because we don't know other people's relationships that we shouldn't get involved.
It's not a simple issue. If I found out a friend knew that my partner was deceitful i'd go crazy asking why they didn't tell me. BUT...... imagine my partner just made a stupid mistake and has made the decision to tow the line with me.... the possibility of a good future would be fucked.
Too many different relationships , too may different answers.
E.G. If a friend came to me and said...... I think he's up to something cos yada yada yada and I knew something or found out something i'd feel I had to tell but just seeing someone on here isn't enough to wreck a relationship for.
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