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Committed Relationship
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just had a thoughtful conversation with a mate about committing to a relationship early on in life.
There are many out there who are in their early 20s with a wife/husband and kids. But, I don't see the rush unless you meet the perfect soulmate...
In my opinion, there needs to be time to grow and learn when you're around 18-27 and that becomes difficult with a partner.
What are your thoughts? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What works for one person, won’t work for another.
Been with C since I was fourteen. Got married at 20, finally having our first baby at 22.
None of my friends (my age) are in committed relationships. My older friends (26-30 years old) are only just getting engaged, meeting partners etc.
So, from a personal _iewpoint, I disagree with you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I had my time again I wouldnt get into a long term relationship at 20. Looking at 20yr olds I know now it is still so young. I should have done more living.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If I had my time again I wouldnt get into a long term relationship at 20. Looking at 20yr olds I know now it is still so young. I should have done more living. "
What would you say 'living' is... travel, getting more life experience etc? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met my ex at age 15, married at 19, was happily married for over 20 years. It was the best thing I did at the time, it just didn't work out for life. No regrets, it was right for me. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I got married at 26 and recognise now that I was too young for it. Of course at the time I wouldn't have agreed, thats the thing isn't it, at the time you think you know it all. I changed a lot in the time after that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I got married at 26 and recognise now that I was too young for it. Of course at the time I wouldn't have agreed, thats the thing isn't it, at the time you think you know it all. I changed a lot in the time after that"
Interested to know what the biggest lessons you learned were? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got together with my husband when I was 19 and he was 21.
We've now been together 18 years and married for 13.
When you know they're the one, you just know and definitely no regrets from us for settling down so young. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I got together with my husband when I was 19 and he was 21.
We've now been together 18 years and married for 13.
When you know they're the one, you just know and definitely no regrets from us for settling down so young. "
It's cool to see some success stories - as mentioned in the OP - unless you meet perfect soulmate it could be tricky |
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Was with my ex for 20 years from been a young 13 years old, I thought we would be together forever but some people change for the worse unfortunately. We have 2 beautiful kids but I do regret not living or travelling more and putting myself first. X |
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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago
Staffordshire |
I was with someone from 16-21 he was an asshole but I thought it was love, it wasn't. I met my husband when I was 23, and knew he was the one within a few months of being together. Fast forward 5 years later and we're still just as much in love. We've grown together and we're now on our journey into swinging together, though taking baby steps.
But I think from my experience being with someone at such a young age as I was at 16, I hadn't experienced much. I was engaged. Ready to spend my life with him. But he wasn't right for me.
Everyone's experience on here will be different though. Some people I know have been with their husbands since they were 16 and they're in their 20s married with kids and it works.
What works for one won't always work for another. That's the beauty about being human and being unique and different. If we were all the same life would be very dull. Were all wonderful rainbows all on a journey to happiness in various forms.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've been together 19 years. Met when Mr was 18 and I was 19. We've grown together in that time, had ups and downs but always come out stronger. I knew as soon as we met he was the one I wanted to spend my life with |
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I met my ex husband when I was 17 and seperated two years ago. I fell madly in love. When you have such strong feelings its hard to talk yourself into exploring the world. To be fair we didn't marry until I was 22 or have our son until I was 30. Would I change it... No because I did what felt right at the time... The only downside now is dating in 2019...what a nightmare   |
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By *ydnNancyCouple
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
Depends on the person.
Personally I’m glad I’ve lived the life I have and will continue to live, because I’m free to be my own person.
Just because you settle to a committed relationship doesn’t mean you can’t be your own person. If you can’t then that’s not the right relationship.
People are scared to be lonely a lot of the time or stay because of the ‘family’ or kids. I have never understood that dichotomy of being miserable and yet pretending to be some kind of martyr while lying to yourself and those you love. I don’t mean lying in a cheating spouse kind of way, but lying in the “doing it because it’s the right thing to do because we’re living in the 1970’s still” way
Nancy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I met my ex husband when I was 17 and seperated two years ago. I fell madly in love. When you have such strong feelings its hard to talk yourself into exploring the world. To be fair we didn't marry until I was 22 or have our son until I was 30. Would I change it... No because I did what felt right at the time... The only downside now is dating in 2019...what a nightmare "
What's so bad about dating in 2019?
Surely it is easier? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think everyone has a different time for making family’s personal iv has two long term relationships that lasted 17 years together one started when I was 18 we had two children together the other when I was 23 and had one child together we all still get on very well and even with my new partner We all work as a family not all family’s live together but still function like most expected
Family and relationships is what you make yourself it doesn’t ever really go as planed it all happened when it happens |
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"I met my ex husband when I was 17 and seperated two years ago. I fell madly in love. When you have such strong feelings its hard to talk yourself into exploring the world. To be fair we didn't marry until I was 22 or have our son until I was 30. Would I change it... No because I did what felt right at the time... The only downside now is dating in 2019...what a nightmare
What's so bad about dating in 2019?
Surely it is easier?"
Honestly it's a nightmare, I'm not stupid but I thought it would be easier then what it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I had my time again I wouldnt get into a long term relationship at 20. Looking at 20yr olds I know now it is still so young. I should have done more living. "
Have to agree,you grow and change so much in your 20s. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else been called out in private message by clueless fuckwits?
What happened?"
Does your partner know you’re on here was the question
Of course she does, we were on here together for 6 years, meeting people together and separately.
Shame people don’t call you out in public but hide behind a priavte message  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met my first husband when I was 11 years old, so nearly 30 years ago, we met at school but didn’t get together until we were 19, we were married not long after getting together and I was a very shy, didn’t have a social life so didn’t do any living before I met him, we grew apart over time and both wanted other things, we would have been married 20 years this year, we’ve been split up for nearly 5 years now and get on better as friends than we ever did as a couple.
Do I wish I waited? On the one hand not really because I had my boys with him but on the other, I wish I did and lived my life a bit more before settling down. |
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By *sm81Couple
over a year ago
warwickshire |
We have been together 18 years and married 15 years.
We married at 21 and 22 and had our first child a year and a half after.
It works for us but I guess its your own opinion and what works for you. |
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With hindsight i dont think i was ready for a committed relationship until i was 40. Although i had my son at 25 which was the right age for me if any of that makes sense. I also learnt as i got older im not cut out to live with anyone. When i was 40 i got my idea of a perfect relationship but didnt realize what my idea of perfect was until i got it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you feel unready to settle down, op, then don't settle down yet. We're all different. I met my ex husband at 17, got together at 20, married at 23, first baby at 26. We were best friends and had so much fun together at uni before we settled down. Life throws stuff at you and you grow and change. We were together for 13 years and I don't regret it at all, despite the fact times could be tough and occasionally very painful. I could look back and say 'I wish I'd realised/known/done that sooner' but the reality is we can only make decisions and act with the knowledge and experience we have at the time. Hindsight and understanding is great for putting things into context, but it's a waste of time and energy ruminating and regretting stuff. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else been called out in private message by clueless fuckwits?
What happened?
Does your partner know you’re on here was the question
Of course she does, we were on here together for 6 years, meeting people together and separately.
Shame people don’t call you out in public but hide behind a priavte message "
I get loads at the moment because I’m pregnant. Called so many names  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been with my husband since I was 17 and married since 21. It hasn't stopped me exploring my identity or my sexuality at all. If you're with the right person you can explore and grow together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I had my time again I wouldnt get into a long term relationship at 20. Looking at 20yr olds I know now it is still so young. I should have done more living.
What would you say 'living' is... travel, getting more life experience etc? "
Yes all that, having the freedom to go where you want with whoever you want. Expand my world a bit. Its much harder to play catch up at my age. |
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