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Guarding The Body!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Right.....you're a highly sought after bodyguard with years of service to your name! You are the most elite that the world has to offer. Seriously you could guard a world leader single handedly and not break a sweat. We are talking Deadpool levels of epic-ness!
Who in the world would be worthy to you of your services?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You just described me in a bit shell.
Imagine the worlds most stealthiest ninja had a love child with Chuck Norris
As for who I’d protect....it’s sunday, even super heroes need a day off |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My kids but after the last year im tired out those who know me know of what i speak"
I dont dude but the answer is truly epic! Never blessed with kids but would like to think I would face down anything for them like your good self  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You just described me in a bit shell.
Imagine the worlds most stealthiest ninja had a love child with Chuck Norris
As for who I’d protect....it’s sunday, even super heroes need a day off "
Lol assassins are everywhere even on a Sunday! Damn......where did you go? |
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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago
Sunderland |
My family and friends. I’m very loyal. Not a fool, but loyal all the same.
And don’t think I won’t break out shit and all hellfire on them when it’s needed, doesn’t mean I’m gonna let anyone else give them unnecessaries
Lex |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My family and friends. I’m very loyal. Not a fool, but loyal all the same.
And don’t think I won’t break out shit and all hellfire on them when it’s needed, doesn’t mean I’m gonna let anyone else give them unnecessaries
Lex"
Loyalty is an imperative quality and one I definitely value highly and family and friends get mine also! Without question Love this |
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Celebrities can mostly go fuck themselves, they don’t deserve my skills. I can’t think of many politicians that deserve them either.
I’m going to devote my time to a worthy cause, protecting Melli’s boobs  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Right I'm going to expand this! Your family and friends are in an impenetrable bunker where nobody can get at them; think Batcave meets Alcatraz meets Fortress of Solitude meets Avengers Tower.
You need to pay the bills and keep the home fires burning! You need a paid job! Who gets you? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Celebrities can mostly go fuck themselves, they don’t deserve my skills. I can’t think of many politicians that deserve them either.
I’m going to devote my time to a worthy cause, protecting Melli’s boobs "
Truly worthy altruistic cause my friend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Assassination is an art, I’d be an artist, have only targets and hide in the shadows. I wouldn’t belong to anyone, and choose who I protected or targeted.
The ultimate assassin...but I’d wear fabulous outfits too, no point being the best, if I was killed wearing something dreary. I want even my death to make them intrigued, nothing non descript for me xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Assassination is an art, I’d be an artist, have only targets and hide in the shadows. I wouldn’t belong to anyone, and choose who I protected or targeted.
The ultimate assassin...but I’d wear fabulous outfits too, no point being the best, if I was killed wearing something dreary. I want even my death to make them intrigued, nothing non descript for me xx"
I like the way your mind works lol open source those skills to the opposite side better paid over that way anyway 
Definitely worth it on the outfit front too although I'm now imagining what constitutes 'dreary' and what is the resulting outfit choice! x |
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"Right I'm going to expand this! Your family and friends are in an impenetrable bunker where nobody can get at them; think Batcave meets Alcatraz meets Fortress of Solitude meets Avengers Tower.
You need to pay the bills and keep the home fires burning! You need a paid job! Who gets you? "
Erm the great minds of the world that have the ability to find cures for all the deadly diseases,the thick buggers like myself can do one. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dave Grohl, that hands and voice need protecting, plus his awesome beard  "
Legendary answer plus hes a funny guy irl too x the world needs more Grohls to make it a better place! Rick rolling the Westboro Baptist church was my personal fave |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Right I'm going to expand this! Your family and friends are in an impenetrable bunker where nobody can get at them; think Batcave meets Alcatraz meets Fortress of Solitude meets Avengers Tower.
You need to pay the bills and keep the home fires burning! You need a paid job! Who gets you?
Erm the great minds of the world that have the ability to find cures for all the deadly diseases,the thick buggers like myself can do one."
Get them all in a lab and guard that door nobody is getting past you my dear x plus the added bonus of controlling access to all the worlds potential cures definitely not a thick bugger answer |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Family, friends then Rick Astley "
Well......wasnt expecting.......damn I'm speechless.....me! X mind you hes responsible for one of the catchiest party ear worms ever Rick Astley? Awesome lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Assassination is an art, I’d be an artist, have only targets and hide in the shadows. I wouldn’t belong to anyone, and choose who I protected or targeted.
The ultimate assassin...but I’d wear fabulous outfits too, no point being the best, if I was killed wearing something dreary. I want even my death to make them intrigued, nothing non descript for me xx
I like the way your mind works lol open source those skills to the opposite side better paid over that way anyway
Definitely worth it on the outfit front too although I'm now imagining what constitutes 'dreary' and what is the resulting outfit choice! x "
Definitely can’t be doing the typical black ninja outfit, it may be practical, but everyone has one. Has to be fitted to the body, no risk of accidental snagging. As much as I love latex, the shine would make me visible if it caught on a light source, and obviously would squeak...they don’t think of that in Underworld!
So would probably be the softest leather, hard wearing, looks good, and of course looks great with heels! I’ve been trained by a Master, to negotiate any obstacle in a pair of killer heels!
If I needed to go anywhere that involved swimming, I’d simply slip off my zipped leather catsuit and heels, and kill them in just a pair of custom made bikini bottoms (need somewhere to keep the daggers) No one would believe a topless women to be a danger- so wrong! Haha xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Assassination is an art, I’d be an artist, have only targets and hide in the shadows. I wouldn’t belong to anyone, and choose who I protected or targeted.
The ultimate assassin...but I’d wear fabulous outfits too, no point being the best, if I was killed wearing something dreary. I want even my death to make them intrigued, nothing non descript for me xx
I like the way your mind works lol open source those skills to the opposite side better paid over that way anyway
Definitely worth it on the outfit front too although I'm now imagining what constitutes 'dreary' and what is the resulting outfit choice! x
Definitely can’t be doing the typical black ninja outfit, it may be practical, but everyone has one. Has to be fitted to the body, no risk of accidental snagging. As much as I love latex, the shine would make me visible if it caught on a light source, and obviously would squeak...they don’t think of that in Underworld!
So would probably be the softest leather, hard wearing, looks good, and of course looks great with heels! I’ve been trained by a Master, to negotiate any obstacle in a pair of killer heels!
If I needed to go anywhere that involved swimming, I’d simply slip off my zipped leather catsuit and heels, and kill them in just a pair of custom made bikini bottoms (need somewhere to keep the daggers) No one would believe a topless women to be a danger- so wrong! Haha xx"
I sense theres been a lot of thought popped into this one? x considering a career change or have I indeed hit upon your actual job role? a thin kevlar mesh attached to the interior lining of the leather might be essential as sometimes goons get lucky and I never under estimate a topless women especially with a penchant for exciting knife work lol x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The wee old lady next door. She's lovely, she makes me cakes. "
Well that's all that matters! To be honest though I see you more at the head of a criminal empire ruling it with an iron fist and tits am sure the men tied up in your basement would agree with me......when they arent gagged that is x nice to see you H |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Assassination is an art, I’d be an artist, have only targets and hide in the shadows. I wouldn’t belong to anyone, and choose who I protected or targeted.
The ultimate assassin...but I’d wear fabulous outfits too, no point being the best, if I was killed wearing something dreary. I want even my death to make them intrigued, nothing non descript for me xx
I like the way your mind works lol open source those skills to the opposite side better paid over that way anyway
Definitely worth it on the outfit front too although I'm now imagining what constitutes 'dreary' and what is the resulting outfit choice! x
Definitely can’t be doing the typical black ninja outfit, it may be practical, but everyone has one. Has to be fitted to the body, no risk of accidental snagging. As much as I love latex, the shine would make me visible if it caught on a light source, and obviously would squeak...they don’t think of that in Underworld!
So would probably be the softest leather, hard wearing, looks good, and of course looks great with heels! I’ve been trained by a Master, to negotiate any obstacle in a pair of killer heels!
If I needed to go anywhere that involved swimming, I’d simply slip off my zipped leather catsuit and heels, and kill them in just a pair of custom made bikini bottoms (need somewhere to keep the daggers) No one would believe a topless women to be a danger- so wrong! Haha xx
I sense theres been a lot of thought popped into this one? x considering a career change or have I indeed hit upon your actual job role? a thin kevlar mesh attached to the interior lining of the leather might be essential as sometimes goons get lucky and I never under estimate a topless women especially with a penchant for exciting knife work lol x "
Lol, no thought other than this post. I do tend to over think though.
Couldn’t possibly divulge anything re this being my career, I’d have to kill you... I’d do it topless though, fairs fair xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Assassination is an art, I’d be an artist, have only targets and hide in the shadows. I wouldn’t belong to anyone, and choose who I protected or targeted.
The ultimate assassin...but I’d wear fabulous outfits too, no point being the best, if I was killed wearing something dreary. I want even my death to make them intrigued, nothing non descript for me xx
I like the way your mind works lol open source those skills to the opposite side better paid over that way anyway
Definitely worth it on the outfit front too although I'm now imagining what constitutes 'dreary' and what is the resulting outfit choice! x
Definitely can’t be doing the typical black ninja outfit, it may be practical, but everyone has one. Has to be fitted to the body, no risk of accidental snagging. As much as I love latex, the shine would make me visible if it caught on a light source, and obviously would squeak...they don’t think of that in Underworld!
So would probably be the softest leather, hard wearing, looks good, and of course looks great with heels! I’ve been trained by a Master, to negotiate any obstacle in a pair of killer heels!
If I needed to go anywhere that involved swimming, I’d simply slip off my zipped leather catsuit and heels, and kill them in just a pair of custom made bikini bottoms (need somewhere to keep the daggers) No one would believe a topless women to be a danger- so wrong! Haha xx
I sense theres been a lot of thought popped into this one? x considering a career change or have I indeed hit upon your actual job role? a thin kevlar mesh attached to the interior lining of the leather might be essential as sometimes goons get lucky and I never under estimate a topless women especially with a penchant for exciting knife work lol x
Lol, no thought other than this post. I do tend to over think though.
Couldn’t possibly divulge anything re this being my career, I’d have to kill you... I’d do it topless though, fairs fair xx"
Ah well we have to go some way lol x I have had a good life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The wee old lady next door. She's lovely, she makes me cakes.
Well that's all that matters! To be honest though I see you more at the head of a criminal empire ruling it with an iron fist and tits am sure the men tied up in your basement would agree with me......when they arent gagged that is x nice to see you H "
I'm not a baddie  |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"Family, friends then Rick Astley
Well......wasnt expecting.......damn I'm speechless.....me! X mind you hes responsible for one of the catchiest party ear worms ever Rick Astley? Awesome lol "
He really does deserve to be protected |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The wee old lady next door. She's lovely, she makes me cakes.
Well that's all that matters! To be honest though I see you more at the head of a criminal empire ruling it with an iron fist and tits am sure the men tied up in your basement would agree with me......when they arent gagged that is x nice to see you H
I'm not a baddie "
Nah you're the hero double agent who infiltrates the empire and works their way up affecting an evil persona but we all know that within you is a heart of gold my dear x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Family, friends then Rick Astley
Well......wasnt expecting.......damn I'm speechless.....me! X mind you hes responsible for one of the catchiest party ear worms ever Rick Astley? Awesome lol
He really does deserve to be protected "
Then the contract is yours my dear and I'm sure he will be very appreciative x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Assassination is an art, I’d be an artist, have only targets and hide in the shadows. I wouldn’t belong to anyone, and choose who I protected or targeted.
The ultimate assassin...but I’d wear fabulous outfits too, no point being the best, if I was killed wearing something dreary. I want even my death to make them intrigued, nothing non descript for me xx
I like the way your mind works lol open source those skills to the opposite side better paid over that way anyway
Definitely worth it on the outfit front too although I'm now imagining what constitutes 'dreary' and what is the resulting outfit choice! x
Definitely can’t be doing the typical black ninja outfit, it may be practical, but everyone has one. Has to be fitted to the body, no risk of accidental snagging. As much as I love latex, the shine would make me visible if it caught on a light source, and obviously would squeak...they don’t think of that in Underworld!
So would probably be the softest leather, hard wearing, looks good, and of course looks great with heels! I’ve been trained by a Master, to negotiate any obstacle in a pair of killer heels!
If I needed to go anywhere that involved swimming, I’d simply slip off my zipped leather catsuit and heels, and kill them in just a pair of custom made bikini bottoms (need somewhere to keep the daggers) No one would believe a topless women to be a danger- so wrong! Haha xx
I sense theres been a lot of thought popped into this one? x considering a career change or have I indeed hit upon your actual job role? a thin kevlar mesh attached to the interior lining of the leather might be essential as sometimes goons get lucky and I never under estimate a topless women especially with a penchant for exciting knife work lol x
Lol, no thought other than this post. I do tend to over think though.
Couldn’t possibly divulge anything re this being my career, I’d have to kill you... I’d do it topless though, fairs fair xx
Ah well we have to go some way lol x I have had a good life "
Lol, that’s the right attitude to have. If only all my targets were the same- I mean, if I was an assassin, of course xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Assassination is an art, I’d be an artist, have only targets and hide in the shadows. I wouldn’t belong to anyone, and choose who I protected or targeted.
The ultimate assassin...but I’d wear fabulous outfits too, no point being the best, if I was killed wearing something dreary. I want even my death to make them intrigued, nothing non descript for me xx
I like the way your mind works lol open source those skills to the opposite side better paid over that way anyway
Definitely worth it on the outfit front too although I'm now imagining what constitutes 'dreary' and what is the resulting outfit choice! x
Definitely can’t be doing the typical black ninja outfit, it may be practical, but everyone has one. Has to be fitted to the body, no risk of accidental snagging. As much as I love latex, the shine would make me visible if it caught on a light source, and obviously would squeak...they don’t think of that in Underworld!
So would probably be the softest leather, hard wearing, looks good, and of course looks great with heels! I’ve been trained by a Master, to negotiate any obstacle in a pair of killer heels!
If I needed to go anywhere that involved swimming, I’d simply slip off my zipped leather catsuit and heels, and kill them in just a pair of custom made bikini bottoms (need somewhere to keep the daggers) No one would believe a topless women to be a danger- so wrong! Haha xx
I sense theres been a lot of thought popped into this one? x considering a career change or have I indeed hit upon your actual job role? a thin kevlar mesh attached to the interior lining of the leather might be essential as sometimes goons get lucky and I never under estimate a topless women especially with a penchant for exciting knife work lol x
Lol, no thought other than this post. I do tend to over think though.
Couldn’t possibly divulge anything re this being my career, I’d have to kill you... I’d do it topless though, fairs fair xx
Ah well we have to go some way lol x I have had a good life
Lol, that’s the right attitude to have. If only all my targets were the same- I mean, if I was an assassin, of course xx"
I try to be accommodating when confronted with topless ladies wielding knives x it's just so many mixed emotions going through my head |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'll guard Denzel Washington in the shower, in case he slips on the soap."
Sounds like a truly fair and legitimate safety concern to me! I would guard Christina Hendricks for the exact same reason x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll guard Denzel Washington in the shower, in case he slips on the soap.
Sounds like a truly fair and legitimate safety concern to me! I would guard Christina Hendricks for the exact same reason x "
I could help him reach those awkward places too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'll guard Denzel Washington in the shower, in case he slips on the soap.
Sounds like a truly fair and legitimate safety concern to me! I would guard Christina Hendricks for the exact same reason x
I could help him reach those awkward places too "
Those truly hard to reach places?.......like the penis? x you are truly diligent and thoroughly committed to your duties as bodyguard it maybe your calling |
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I'm already deadpool type epic protective of my kids.... Harm them and die slowly.....
If I had some spare time to protect celebrity type people.... It would be Anne Hathaway.... Completely safe with me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm already deadpool type epic protective of my kids.... Harm them and die slowly.....
If I had some spare time to protect celebrity type people.... It would be Anne Hathaway.... Completely safe with me "
Excellent attitude my friend, mirrors my own about my family. And damn good choice on Miss Hathaway. Shes fecking awesome! I'm sure she would appreciate your dedication lol |
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