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Nasty messages
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know you can block but sometimes a message can get inside your head. How do you deal with the abuse on here ? I just don't get the need for it. I mean I know I'm not skinny but I am confident. So why do people feel the need to put others down because of their weight? |
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By *eelouWoman
over a year ago
Glasgow |
I had to learn the hard way when I replied to a particularly nasty message I received and I was the one that got in trouble. That was in my first week here.
Now the only way is to report and block. Don't give the keyboard warriors a second thought. The issue is with them and not you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You wouldn't go to the worse dive in town would you? If you did you might never go again. The internet gives the same low-lives the ability to abuse with the cloak of anonymity . Keep your profile as private as possible and know that the abusers are the same low-lives you'd never socialise with.
I had a persistent abuser but it seems they might now be banned? |
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Horrible when people do this kind of thing without realising its bullying.
I would personally consider reporting the person luckily I've never been through it on here where I've been sent abuse and dont get why people feel the need to do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hiya,
I know it’s hard, the brain has a horrible way of holding in and drawing some nasty comments close, so we struggle to let it go.
Think of it this way, how insecure, cold and sad do you have to be to go out if your way to be so nasty.... they deserve your pity.
You are a strong beautiful woman, don’t give your emotional well being away to anyone.
If it helps I too get some truely horrible messages, I just feel sorry for them and delete.
Lorri x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The world is full of different people, tall, short,fat,thin, black, white, nice and downright horrible.
As the saying goes, you can please some of the people all of the time and you can please all of the people some of the time but no one can please all the people all the time.
Some people get nasty when you turn them down, others are nasty all the time.
The important factor is that you don't let them get you down and before trying to please anyone else, be comfortable with yourself. If you achieve this then what does it matter if some lowlife gets a kick out of saying your fat, thin, task, short etc? At the end of the day, it's their loss, you got to find out what they were really like before meeting them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Report and block don’t give them the satisfaction of a reply. Don’t encourage the keyboard trolls, rise above it in the knowledge you’re the better person.
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Report and block, as noted. Don't engage.
Emotionally, you can learn if you choose to. Part of what helps me is realising that these pathetic people have nothing better to do. I'm out here living my best life and they're trying to upset strangers. It's kind of sad, in a way.
I don't forget some of the worst ones, but reframe it as about them, not you. |
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"Do you worry every time a dog barks at you?
I do. I was attacked by one as a child and ended up in hospital.
Just because something doesn't both you, doesn't mean it won't bother someone else. "
And this, too. Try not to let messages bother you, but be mindful if there's a pattern or anything specific. My guess would be that genuine threats are rare here... but they likely exist. I've had, I'd guess, a few near misses. |
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I avoid it where possible. I block all new mail on weekends (only people I've already spoken to can contact me), and that tends to prevent the angry and frustrated hangover horn guys from having the opportunity to give me any abuse. The rest of the time I just use my filters wisely.
Just like any other online endeavour, Fab has its trolls and you can either leave, put up with it, or reduce your exposure to them, the choice is yours.
You've a fabulous body by the way! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know you can block but sometimes a message can get inside your head. How do you deal with the abuse on here ? I just don't get the need for it. I mean I know I'm not skinny but I am confident. So why do people feel the need to put others down because of their weight?"
Because they're jealous. Could be for many reasons, you turned them down, I've had a few who have tried very hard because of that, but they end up being banned or restarting their profiles to try again, but they get removed eventually.
Could be you're getting the attention that they want and can't understand why you're getting it and not them, that's usually because you're a nicer person.
Could be that they have disorder issues and it's nothing personal to you, a few have those.
Thee are more reasons too. Just ignore if you can and use the support of your friends here if needed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know you can block but sometimes a message can get inside your head. How do you deal with the abuse on here ? I just don't get the need for it. I mean I know I'm not skinny but I am confident. So why do people feel the need to put others down because of their weight?"
It’s not just women men get it too. I used to get called too fat or get told to lose some weight when I was on a single profile before meeting Danish.
Doughnut |
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"Horrible when people do this kind of thing without realising its bullying.
I would personally consider reporting the person luckily I've never been through it on here where I've been sent abuse and dont get why people feel the need to do it."
They realise it's bullying, they just don't care and know that they're safe behind a screen. That's why its important to report them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always report and let admin deal with it. Those that send abusive messages are to be pitied. They must have v sad, empty and
Pathetic lives to feel the need to be abusive to strangers online."
Yes, but this can takes days and if the person deletes their profile under the new daft upgrade all their messages disappear with them. Even if you managed to screenshot them their profile is gone and unlike messages left in your inbox no ISP can be traced with screenshots. In one simple misguided swoop, admin have given the perpetrators another hiding place. |
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You have to try to ignore it Iv been told I'm thick among other things because my spelling isn't great (dyslexia) you just have to try and laff it off and take it as a near miss as there only showing there true colours |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
Was it someone you turned down?
Just ignore- they will give up. Someone in here got increasingly abusive after I turned them down. I would look away and click on the message so it would appear as read- seeing that I “read” the message but not engage/reply to him drove him nuts. Eventually and thankfully he gave up.
But it’s probably healthier to do as it’s been suggested on here- report and block. |
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"It's just words on a screen - meaningless and impersonal."
I couldn't agree less if I tried.
Words are our most powerful way of communicating.
Pain, joy, pleasure, hurt, sadness, anger, love, emotion, affection, to lift.
And yet we use them so poorly.....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's just words on a screen - meaningless and impersonal.
I couldn't agree less if I tried.
Words are our most powerful way of communicating.
Pain, joy, pleasure, hurt, sadness, anger, love, emotion, affection, to lift.
And yet we use them so poorly.....
"
So true  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't get abuse on here.
I must be a freak People don't abuse freaks they tend to have pity on them....just thought I'd stir you up a little?  "
Does that mean you are agreeing with me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't get abuse on here.
I must be a freak People don't abuse freaks they tend to have pity on them....just thought I'd stir you up a little?
Does that mean you are agreeing with me?"
Never! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know you can block but sometimes a message can get inside your head. How do you deal with the abuse on here ? I just don't get the need for it. I mean I know I'm not skinny but I am confident. So why do people feel the need to put others down because of their weight?"
Report it stake a screen shot pass it on to friends so they can avoid them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people can't take rejection so then resort to abuse to make them feel better. People like that shouldn't be on this site. If some one says no you should accept that and move on. I get alot of no's  but doesn't give me the right to abuse people. Just means your not everyone's cup of tea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They are just sat at a keyboard like most of us are, punching horrible words to someone they are probably jealous of, don’t let it get to you, it’s not worth it OP.x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had to learn the hard way when I replied to a particularly nasty message I received and I was the one that got in trouble. That was in my first week here.
Now the only way is to report and block. Don't give the keyboard warriors a second thought. The issue is with them and not you xx"
 this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haven’t been lucky enough to get any abuse yet, strictly no thanks please try again...
But for those who are abused then probably to block or report them or both... |
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The first ever message I received on here was a single lady replying to my message.
She went on about how she would never meet anyone like me and completely shot down how I looked and attempted to rip me to shreds. She then sent another message to continue the abuse.
So that's a great welcome to the world of Fab...    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haven’t been lucky enough to get any abuse yet, strictly no thanks please try again...
But for those who are abused then probably to block or report them or both..."
Reporting abuse doesn't always work it seems. Someome called me a gross, disgusting,ugly bitch amongst several other abusive mesdages. I reported the user then saved one of the messages to see what would happen. Several days later they were still on the site.
Apparently you only get a warming if you haven't been reported previously, so they're likely still lurking on fab.
Admin need to be tougher on nasty individuals.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you worry every time a dog barks at you?
I do. I was attacked by one as a child and ended up in hospital.
Just because something doesn't both you, doesn't mean it won't bother someone else. "
Been attacked too. Yes I am scared of them. (Owner's fault, not the dog). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you worry every time a dog barks at you?
I do. I was attacked by one as a child and ended up in hospital.
Just because something doesn't both you, doesn't mean it won't bother someone else. "
It's a metaphor. No dogs were harmed in the making of this post. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The first ever message I received on here was a single lady replying to my message.
She went on about how she would never meet anyone like me and completely shot down how I looked and attempted to rip me to shreds. She then sent another message to continue the abuse.
So that's a great welcome to the world of Fab... "
I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. There are some really vile people out there.
Most wouldn't dare say these things in person. They're cowards. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just remember the people who send these nasty messages are a small minority and that you are not alone judging by the other responses. By reporting them you are helping to protect others, and make a big difference to the good people on Fab.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you worry every time a dog barks at you?
I do. I was attacked by one as a child and ended up in hospital.
Just because something doesn't both you, doesn't mean it won't bother someone else.
It's a metaphor. No dogs were harmed in the making of this post."
Whether or not its a dog barking, or a metaphor rocketing at you from space I would be scared!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't fathom why people send abusive messages. The only reason I was come up with is they are insecure and very unhappy individuals.
Probably best to report, block and refrain from engaging with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Once you start letting them get in your head then they win, just ignore them and report. Some people can become nasty once rejected and show their true colours. You’ve clearly got every reason to be confident and anyone sending you abuse is more than likely just a jealous bitter looser |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know you can block but sometimes a message can get inside your head. How do you deal with the abuse on here ? I just don't get the need for it. I mean I know I'm not skinny but I am confident. So why do people feel the need to put others down because of their weight?"
Keyboard warriors. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I've had my fair share of hate mail om here, but I'll be honest not for a while, though I will admit, I did have a male from here find me on pof and send 'So, you have decided to come here to receive even more hate'
What ever floats your boat mate, no skin off my nose!
Just goes to show the men on here can't stand a confident female in my opinion, I admit it might just be my area, but it is here regardless whether people acknowledge it or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had my fair share of hate mail om here, but I'll be honest not for a while, though I will admit, I did have a male from here find me on pof and send 'So, you have decided to come here to receive even more hate'
What ever floats your boat mate, no skin off my nose!
Just goes to show the men on here can't stand a confident female in my opinion, I admit it might just be my area, but it is here regardless whether people acknowledge it or not."
You're engaging with the wrong guys  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I've had my fair share of hate mail om here, but I'll be honest not for a while, though I will admit, I did have a male from here find me on pof and send 'So, you have decided to come here to receive even more hate'
What ever floats your boat mate, no skin off my nose!
Just goes to show the men on here can't stand a confident female in my opinion, I admit it might just be my area, but it is here regardless whether people acknowledge it or not.
You're engaging with the wrong guys "
I only engaged with him slightly on pof, to antagonise him
I had no idea who he was on here though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had my fair share of hate mail om here, but I'll be honest not for a while, though I will admit, I did have a male from here find me on pof and send 'So, you have decided to come here to receive even more hate'
What ever floats your boat mate, no skin off my nose!
Just goes to show the men on here can't stand a confident female in my opinion, I admit it might just be my area, but it is here regardless whether people acknowledge it or not.
You're engaging with the wrong guys
I only engaged with him slightly on pof, to antagonise him
I had no idea who he was on here though "
It's hardly a surprise he got arsey then |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I've had my fair share of hate mail om here, but I'll be honest not for a while, though I will admit, I did have a male from here find me on pof and send 'So, you have decided to come here to receive even more hate'
What ever floats your boat mate, no skin off my nose!
Just goes to show the men on here can't stand a confident female in my opinion, I admit it might just be my area, but it is here regardless whether people acknowledge it or not.
You're engaging with the wrong guys
I only engaged with him slightly on pof, to antagonise him
I had no idea who he was on here though
It's hardly a surprise he got arsey then"
Umm read again! He contacted me. Knowing who I was on here. To send the hate mail, I had no idea who he was, what don't you understand about that? Or do you just choose your own version of truth? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had my fair share of hate mail om here, but I'll be honest not for a while, though I will admit, I did have a male from here find me on pof and send 'So, you have decided to come here to receive even more hate'
What ever floats your boat mate, no skin off my nose!
Just goes to show the men on here can't stand a confident female in my opinion, I admit it might just be my area, but it is here regardless whether people acknowledge it or not.
You're engaging with the wrong guys
I only engaged with him slightly on pof, to antagonise him
I had no idea who he was on here though
It's hardly a surprise he got arsey then
Umm read again! He contacted me. Knowing who I was on here. To send the hate mail, I had no idea who he was, what don't you understand about that? Or do you just choose your own version of truth? "
Jings...you're feisty! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear that you OP or anyone on here gets abuse. At least you dont have to live in their heads, must be a horrible place.
They are best left wanking into a sock in their mums bedroom. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to hear that you OP or anyone on here gets abuse. At least you dont have to live in their heads, must be a horrible place.
They are best left wanking into a sock in their mums bedroom."
That's assuming that 100% of people sending nasty messages are single men  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know you can block but sometimes a message can get inside your head. How do you deal with the abuse on here ? I just don't get the need for it. I mean I know I'm not skinny but I am confident. So why do people feel the need to put others down because of their weight?"
Just nasty people around. I don't get it either. Xx |
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"I know you can block but sometimes a message can get inside your head. How do you deal with the abuse on here ? I just don't get the need for it. I mean I know I'm not skinny but I am confident. So why do people feel the need to put others down because of their weight?"
Carry on being you and sod the haters. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry to hear that you OP or anyone on here gets abuse. At least you dont have to live in their heads, must be a horrible place.
They are best left wanking into a sock in their mums bedroom."
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