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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Must be a nice thing to have self esteem I wish I did I’m finding it so hard to talk to anyone on here I struggle past the word hi and find it almost impossible to share my pic how can I get past this? |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
Sorry, but if all you can say is 'Hi' in a first message, then you really wont go far, so you have to be logical about yourself, as this site is definitely not for everyone!
I for one ignore every single 'Hi, how are you' message as their profiles are normally just as insipid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry, but if all you can say is 'Hi' in a first message, then you really wont go far, so you have to be logical about yourself, as this site is definitely not for everyone!
I for one ignore every single 'Hi, how are you' message as their profiles are normally just as insipid "
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry, but if all you can say is 'Hi' in a first message, then you really wont go far, so you have to be logical about yourself, as this site is definitely not for everyone!
I for one ignore every single 'Hi, how are you' message as their profiles are normally just as insipid "
That’s the problem I type hi that’s as far as I get then I delete the message |
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"Must be a nice thing to have self esteem I wish I did I’m finding it so hard to talk to anyone on here I struggle past the word hi and find it almost impossible to share my pic how can I get past this?"
It's difficult to say unless we know why you feel this way. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Must be a nice thing to have self esteem I wish I did I’m finding it so hard to talk to anyone on here I struggle past the word hi and find it almost impossible to share my pic how can I get past this?"
Self esteem is a funny old thing; it’s something only you can change however, often support and care from others can help people find the strength and ability and insight to start the process. You do need to to do the work too though, or it there can be the tendency to remain in an overly victim like position which can wear those supporting you down. Sometimes the saying “fake it till you make it” is really quite apt, if you put out good vibes and self belief others tend to respond to you as if you’re worth your self belief which in turn can reinforce a feeling of self esteem in yourself and it becomes a positive spiral. To do the work on self esteem though can often require some external input to help you see your blind spots or self talk more clearly.
When I say you, I just mean anyone, not you specifically OP. But I do wish you, OP, all the best. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Must be a nice thing to have self esteem I wish I did I’m finding it so hard to talk to anyone on here I struggle past the word hi and find it almost impossible to share my pic how can I get past this?"
Just be yourself
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Must be a nice thing to have self esteem I wish I did I’m finding it so hard to talk to anyone on here I struggle past the word hi and find it almost impossible to share my pic how can I get past this?
It's difficult to say unless we know why you feel this way."
I guess a lot is to do with what’s in my head about how I feel about myself I can’t even go to the gym because I hate how I look and can’t get past the fact people might be looking at me believe me I’ve tried to get past it but fall at every fence I’ve had meets as part of a couple and a single meet alone but she is someone we met as a couple first putting nice things about myself in text just isn’t easy and I feel sleezy if I type what I actually feel in a message the fact 99% of profiles on here ask for fit men really puts me off I’m not unfit but I am unhappy with myself |
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By *cgkcCouple
over a year ago
Hitchin |
"Must be a nice thing to have self esteem I wish I did I’m finding it so hard to talk to anyone on here I struggle past the word hi and find it almost impossible to share my pic how can I get past this?
It's difficult to say unless we know why you feel this way.
I guess a lot is to do with what’s in my head about how I feel about myself I can’t even go to the gym because I hate how I look and can’t get past the fact people might be looking at me believe me I’ve tried to get past it but fall at every fence I’ve had meets as part of a couple and a single meet alone but she is someone we met as a couple first putting nice things about myself in text just isn’t easy and I feel sleezy if I type what I actually feel in a message the fact 99% of profiles on here ask for fit men really puts me off I’m not unfit but I am unhappy with myself "
I've been in that place with body image, brother.
Feel free to drop me a line if you need a chat.
(not right now, Line of Duty about to start) |
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"Must be a nice thing to have self esteem I wish I did I’m finding it so hard to talk to anyone on here I struggle past the word hi and find it almost impossible to share my pic how can I get past this?
It's difficult to say unless we know why you feel this way.
I guess a lot is to do with what’s in my head about how I feel about myself I can’t even go to the gym because I hate how I look and can’t get past the fact people might be looking at me believe me I’ve tried to get past it but fall at every fence I’ve had meets as part of a couple and a single meet alone but she is someone we met as a couple first putting nice things about myself in text just isn’t easy and I feel sleezy if I type what I actually feel in a message the fact 99% of profiles on here ask for fit men really puts me off I’m not unfit but I am unhappy with myself "
Ok. Why do you think the woman you've met agreed to meet you? People at the gym are usually to busy working out to look at other people.
You don't need to write sleazy first messages. Just introduce yourself, say what you like about their profile and ask if they'd like to chat.
99% of profiles don't ask for fit men. |
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Op my advice for what it's worth.
Try reading the profile of the person who you want to message I mean really read it, find something other than wanting to boff them that you can comment on.
Obviously it's just manners saying hello how are you my name is.....
Then go on to either try to point something out ,prove that you have taken time to read it and don't say how sexy they are make it more about the content of the profile.
Obviously if you get a response then you can go ahead and compliment.
If you can't find anything worth talking about then maybe they are not for you.
Lastly don't copy and paste multiple messages it really is the height of laziness and shows complete lack of respect to the person you are messaging.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Must be a nice thing to have self esteem I wish I did I’m finding it so hard to talk to anyone on here I struggle past the word hi and find it almost impossible to share my pic how can I get past this?
It's difficult to say unless we know why you feel this way.
I guess a lot is to do with what’s in my head about how I feel about myself I can’t even go to the gym because I hate how I look and can’t get past the fact people might be looking at me believe me I’ve tried to get past it but fall at every fence I’ve had meets as part of a couple and a single meet alone but she is someone we met as a couple first putting nice things about myself in text just isn’t easy and I feel sleezy if I type what I actually feel in a message the fact 99% of profiles on here ask for fit men really puts me off I’m not unfit but I am unhappy with myself
Ok. Why do you think the woman you've met agreed to meet you? People at the gym are usually to busy working out to look at other people.
You don't need to write sleazy first messages. Just introduce yourself, say what you like about their profile and ask if they'd like to chat.
99% of profiles don't ask for fit men."
Around here it seems they do only want either fit or bi men I’m in my eyes neither and no I’m not fan straight I’m straight straight |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just keep your chin up mate and keep at it, plenty of decent people on here more than happy to help and free to talk. You just got to plod on and stay positive, you get one life, be happy with what you have appreciate it and don’t let other people’s opinions dishearten you or fuck around with your insecurity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Must be a nice thing to have self esteem I wish I did I’m finding it so hard to talk to anyone on here I struggle past the word hi and find it almost impossible to share my pic how can I get past this?
It's difficult to say unless we know why you feel this way.
I guess a lot is to do with what’s in my head about how I feel about myself I can’t even go to the gym because I hate how I look and can’t get past the fact people might be looking at me believe me I’ve tried to get past it but fall at every fence I’ve had meets as part of a couple and a single meet alone but she is someone we met as a couple first putting nice things about myself in text just isn’t easy and I feel sleezy if I type what I actually feel in a message the fact 99% of profiles on here ask for fit men really puts me off I’m not unfit but I am unhappy with myself "
never be sleazy just be polite and put your personality into messages read target profiles pick out things that standout and chat about that do some pics in a suit ,if you want to be here make an effort or you'll fall by the wayside |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Must be a nice thing to have self esteem I wish I did I’m finding it so hard to talk to anyone on here I struggle past the word hi and find it almost impossible to share my pic how can I get past this?"
The worst thing that’s gonna happen, some one will delete your message or just say no thanks.
When you break that down it’s just strangers saying you’re not for them. |
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Also mate sorry but your profile is very negative and doesn't give away anything about you.
Even the headline you being bored would put people off, so if you do decide to message people and get past hi, then what sort of response do you think you will get??
Try to get something that brings out your personality into it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry, but if all you can say is 'Hi' in a first message, then you really wont go far, so you have to be logical about yourself, as this site is definitely not for everyone!
I for one ignore every single 'Hi, how are you' message as their profiles are normally just as insipid "
Is that not just a wee bit harsh? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you better at communicating in person?
If so, forget the messaging, gab on about anything in the forums for a bit, let people know a bit about you and recognise your name
Then attend a social locally or a forum social
People are generally nice, a lot feel awkward at first and recognise that others do too - it's not always down to you to break the ice
With familiarity, you'll find an increase in confidence
There's no guarantees of a sexual meet, but if it is esteem you really want, you are unlikely to find it in someones bed anyway |
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With all due respect OP, do you really think that you're in the right place? I don't think swinging is healthy for anyone with low self esteem. My body was described only the other day on the forum as "a bag of spanners". That sort of thing happens all the time. Are you mentally strong enough for that? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"With all due respect OP, do you really think that you're in the right place? I don't think swinging is healthy for anyone with low self esteem. My body was described only the other day on the forum as "a bag of spanners". That sort of thing happens all the time. Are you mentally strong enough for that?"
I have met a few people with my wife and loved every meet she organised my only single meet for me and that was pretty awesome as a couple I’m fine as she keeps me up as a single I struggle with myself if you get what I mean |
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"With all due respect OP, do you really think that you're in the right place? I don't think swinging is healthy for anyone with low self esteem. My body was described only the other day on the forum as "a bag of spanners". That sort of thing happens all the time. Are you mentally strong enough for that?
I have met a few people with my wife and loved every meet she organised my only single meet for me and that was pretty awesome as a couple I’m fine as she keeps me up as a single I struggle with myself if you get what I mean "
Hmmm. Stick to playing as a couple. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"With all due respect OP, do you really think that you're in the right place? I don't think swinging is healthy for anyone with low self esteem. My body was described only the other day on the forum as "a bag of spanners". That sort of thing happens all the time. Are you mentally strong enough for that?
I have met a few people with my wife and loved every meet she organised my only single meet for me and that was pretty awesome as a couple I’m fine as she keeps me up as a single I struggle with myself if you get what I mean
Hmmm. Stick to playing as a couple. "
That’s not an option I can’t even play with my wife for health reasons at the moment I might come across quite a cunt but believe me I’m not she would have to consent to anything that would happen |
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"With all due respect OP, do you really think that you're in the right place? I don't think swinging is healthy for anyone with low self esteem. My body was described only the other day on the forum as "a bag of spanners". That sort of thing happens all the time. Are you mentally strong enough for that?
I have met a few people with my wife and loved every meet she organised my only single meet for me and that was pretty awesome as a couple I’m fine as she keeps me up as a single I struggle with myself if you get what I mean
Hmmm. Stick to playing as a couple.
That’s not an option I can’t even play with my wife for health reasons at the moment I might come across quite a cunt but believe me I’m not she would have to consent to anything that would happen "
Stick to wanking? |
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