FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Cheating
Cheating
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"It's a bummer that's for sure " | |||
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"It's a bummer that's for sure "Was I supposed to giggle at that? | |||
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"It's a bummer that's for sure
Was I supposed to giggle at that? "Excuse me?  | |||
"It's a bummer that's for sure
Was I supposed to giggle at that?
Excuse me? "....sorry my love  | |||
"It's a bummer that's for sure
Was I supposed to giggle at that?
Excuse me?
....sorry my love "That's better! | |||
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"Had it done on me partner was on the sight without my knowledge I rejoined because I found out she was on here and it’s horrible I was left heartbroken beat down and somewhat destroyed but blame the men just as much as the women on here both equally bad it wrecked my confidence completely and this was a woman I had prepared myself to spend the rest of my life with " Were the men aware she was in a relationship ? If they weren't, your blame is misplaced | |||
"Lol, would you really give a shit if you knew they were married ? No, youre a guy who wants to unload, whats the problem ? Fab is fab, take it for what it is ! " I would actually and have done. It's called morals. I have them, others don't. Fair play | |||
"Don't know their situation that's lead them to this, I don't judge " I do judge. It's not cool, no excuse | |||
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"I prefer to meet guys in relationships if I'm honest. Yes I know that makes me a terrible person. But I only do regular meets. With regular meets feelings can arrise naturally. I'm in a relationship and playing with consent but I found single guys tried to cause issues in my relationship. Married guys are in the same situation they love their wife's and just need something extra. " No that's totally cool. I met women in relationships whos husbands or BF's knew. That is totally cool. I'm talking about cheating | |||
"Had it done on me partner was on the sight without my knowledge I rejoined because I found out she was on here and it’s horrible I was left heartbroken beat down and somewhat destroyed but blame the men just as much as the women on here both equally bad it wrecked my confidence completely and this was a woman I had prepared myself to spend the rest of my life with Were the men aware she was in a relationship ? If they weren't, your blame is misplaced" I did state the men are as bad as the women no they probably were not aware she was in a relationship | |||
"Don't know their situation that's lead them to this, I don't judge I do judge. It's not cool, no excuse " So if they are a long term carer for their spouse should they then seperate from that spouse, put them in a (often failing) care home so they continue sexual meets? Would that be the cool thing to do? | |||
"Had it done on me partner was on the sight without my knowledge I rejoined because I found out she was on here and it’s horrible I was left heartbroken beat down and somewhat destroyed but blame the men just as much as the women on here both equally bad it wrecked my confidence completely and this was a woman I had prepared myself to spend the rest of my life with Were the men aware she was in a relationship ? If they weren't, your blame is misplaced I did state the men are as bad as the women no they probably were not aware she was in a relationship " So therefore she is to blame, not them. | |||
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"Don't know their situation that's lead them to this, I don't judge I do judge. It's not cool, no excuse So if they are a long term carer for their spouse should they then seperate from that spouse, put them in a (often failing) care home so they continue sexual meets? Would that be the cool thing to do? " That is a poor example. Many people who are in that situation have a conversation and choose to stay together but 1 spouse is allowed to have sex with others. It's about having that convo with your partner. | |||
"I prefer to meet guys in relationships if I'm honest. Yes I know that makes me a terrible person. But I only do regular meets. With regular meets feelings can arrise naturally. I'm in a relationship and playing with consent but I found single guys tried to cause issues in my relationship. Married guys are in the same situation they love their wife's and just need something extra. No that's totally cool. I met women in relationships whos husbands or BF's knew. That is totally cool. I'm talking about cheating " Yup and my two regular partners both cheat. Not my problem | |||
"Don't know their situation that's lead them to this, I don't judge I do judge. It's not cool, no excuse So if they are a long term carer for their spouse should they then seperate from that spouse, put them in a (often failing) care home so they continue sexual meets? Would that be the cool thing to do? That is a poor example. Many people who are in that situation have a conversation and choose to stay together but 1 spouse is allowed to have sex with others. It's about having that convo with your partner. " Maybe for chronic progressive conditions but believe it or not people have accidents everyday robbing then of their fine and motor functions and unable to simply have those convos. But hey in your world its black and white, your right and they are wrong so let's hang them high eh | |||
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"Live your life the way you want to and stop judging others for doing the same." Why didn't I just say that... Well put | |||
"Live your life the way you want to and stop judging others for doing the same."  | |||
"Don't know their situation that's lead them to this, I don't judge I do judge. It's not cool, no excuse So if they are a long term carer for their spouse should they then seperate from that spouse, put them in a (often failing) care home so they continue sexual meets? Would that be the cool thing to do? That is a poor example. Many people who are in that situation have a conversation and choose to stay together but 1 spouse is allowed to have sex with others. It's about having that convo with your partner. Maybe for chronic progressive conditions but believe it or not people have accidents everyday robbing then of their fine and motor functions and unable to simply have those convos. But hey in your world its black and white, your right and they are wrong so let's hang them high eh " You're building a straw man argument. As if everyone who cheats has had a partner who was disabled in some shape or form. I probably wouldn't even say it made up 0.0000000001% of cheaters. | |||
"Its all personal preference if you don't like someone profile then block than its the adult thing to do instead of bleating on the forums about what total strangers to you do." It was just a debate on cheating. That's what the forums are for. Might as well close it then if you have an issue. Or we can have benal conversations about eggs. Funny because you say "if you don't like it block it, don't go on about it" and yet you didn't like my post and decided to comment instead of just going about your business. | |||
"Live your life the way you want to and stop judging others for doing the same." True I'll live my life lying and cheating my way through. Don't judge me though ok | |||
"Its all personal preference if you don't like someone profile then block than its the adult thing to do instead of bleating on the forums about what total strangers to you do. It was just a debate on cheating. That's what the forums are for. Might as well close it then if you have an issue. Or we can have benal conversations about eggs. Funny because you say "if you don't like it block it, don't go on about it" and yet you didn't like my post and decided to comment instead of just going about your business. " OP, you’ve chosen a topic that’s done to death on here, I appreciate you might not be aware of this but it explains some of the responses.. | |||
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"Live your life the way you want to and stop judging others for doing the same." Well said | |||
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"Its all personal preference if you don't like someone profile then block than its the adult thing to do instead of bleating on the forums about what total strangers to you do. It was just a debate on cheating. That's what the forums are for. Might as well close it then if you have an issue. Or we can have benal conversations about eggs. Funny because you say "if you don't like it block it, don't go on about it" and yet you didn't like my post and decided to comment instead of just going about your business. " I think you’ve made some good points , and just because we are swingers , it doesn’t follow that we all have no morals . The whole judgement thing isn’t often spouted here on the forums , and more often than not it’s those that do the very things that society would judge as being wrong that tell us not to judge . Well here’s the thing , we joined a swinging site to swing and that’s by definition a lifestyle choice that promotes non monogamy amongst open relationship couples and singles . Nowhere does it say that those who are cheating on their partners are swingers . They’re involved in the lifestyle , but they are still cheaters and as far as I’m concerned the choice they make to cheat on an unsuspecting partner sucks big time . With consent then of course it’s ok , without no way will I condone it . But it happens , and to be honest I guess if a cheating partner plays with a couple it’s much less likely that they will leave their partner for one of the couple . So maybe the extra curricular activity in a swinging sense is better than pulling at the local pub and running off with them ? But don’t try and convince me it’s ok to cheat , because by my moral code , any form of lying , deceit , or dishonesty in a relationship is wrong . | |||
" My original question was "is cheating ok?" Based on the answers I gather people are cool with it on here " They really aren't (as a whole anyway) I think what you will find is that 'informed choice' is the preferred option for most | |||
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"Its all personal preference if you don't like someone profile then block than its the adult thing to do instead of bleating on the forums about what total strangers to you do. It was just a debate on cheating. That's what the forums are for. Might as well close it then if you have an issue. Or we can have benal conversations about eggs. Funny because you say "if you don't like it block it, don't go on about it" and yet you didn't like my post and decided to comment instead of just going about your business. I think you’ve made some good points , and just because we are swingers , it doesn’t follow that we all have no morals . The whole judgement thing isn’t often spouted here on the forums , and more often than not it’s those that do the very things that society would judge as being wrong that tell us not to judge . Well here’s the thing , we joined a swinging site to swing and that’s by definition a lifestyle choice that promotes non monogamy amongst open relationship couples and singles . Nowhere does it say that those who are cheating on their partners are swingers . They’re involved in the lifestyle , but they are still cheaters and as far as I’m concerned the choice they make to cheat on an unsuspecting partner sucks big time . With consent then of course it’s ok , without no way will I condone it . But it happens , and to be honest I guess if a cheating partner plays with a couple it’s much less likely that they will leave their partner for one of the couple . So maybe the extra curricular activity in a swinging sense is better than pulling at the local pub and running off with them ? But don’t try and convince me it’s ok to cheat , because by my moral code , any form of lying , deceit , or dishonesty in a relationship is wrong . " I think you've completely misinterpreted what I said. At no point did i say swingers have no morals nor did I say I judge you for your sexual preference. if your partner knows you're on here or even if they know you're having sex with someone else and are ok with it, at no point is that considered cheating. I'm purely talking about the ones on here without consent hiding what they are doing from people they are trying to bed. I simply asked if cheating was ok and got my answer. That's it really. | |||
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"Its all personal preference if you don't like someone profile then block than its the adult thing to do instead of bleating on the forums about what total strangers to you do. It was just a debate on cheating. That's what the forums are for. Might as well close it then if you have an issue. Or we can have benal conversations about eggs. Funny because you say "if you don't like it block it, don't go on about it" and yet you didn't like my post and decided to comment instead of just going about your business. I think you’ve made some good points , and just because we are swingers , it doesn’t follow that we all have no morals . The whole judgement thing isn’t often spouted here on the forums , and more often than not it’s those that do the very things that society would judge as being wrong that tell us not to judge . Well here’s the thing , we joined a swinging site to swing and that’s by definition a lifestyle choice that promotes non monogamy amongst open relationship couples and singles . Nowhere does it say that those who are cheating on their partners are swingers . They’re involved in the lifestyle , but they are still cheaters and as far as I’m concerned the choice they make to cheat on an unsuspecting partner sucks big time . With consent then of course it’s ok , without no way will I condone it . But it happens , and to be honest I guess if a cheating partner plays with a couple it’s much less likely that they will leave their partner for one of the couple . So maybe the extra curricular activity in a swinging sense is better than pulling at the local pub and running off with them ? But don’t try and convince me it’s ok to cheat , because by my moral code , any form of lying , deceit , or dishonesty in a relationship is wrong . I think you've completely misinterpreted what I said. At no point did i say swingers have no morals nor did I say I judge you for your sexual preference. if your partner knows you're on here or even if they know you're having sex with someone else and are ok with it, at no point is that considered cheating. I'm purely talking about the ones on here without consent hiding what they are doing from people they are trying to bed. I simply asked if cheating was ok and got my answer. That's it really. " Personally I think it’s a good idea to let anyone know ASAP what your marital status is, the other person then can make an informed decision. The reasoning behind not declaring it is, it can damage chances of meeting and if you’re a bloke on here the odds are already stacked against! | |||
"Its all personal preference if you don't like someone profile then block than its the adult thing to do instead of bleating on the forums about what total strangers to you do. It was just a debate on cheating. That's what the forums are for. Might as well close it then if you have an issue. Or we can have benal conversations about eggs. Funny because you say "if you don't like it block it, don't go on about it" and yet you didn't like my post and decided to comment instead of just going about your business. I think you’ve made some good points , and just because we are swingers , it doesn’t follow that we all have no morals . The whole judgement thing isn’t often spouted here on the forums , and more often than not it’s those that do the very things that society would judge as being wrong that tell us not to judge . Well here’s the thing , we joined a swinging site to swing and that’s by definition a lifestyle choice that promotes non monogamy amongst open relationship couples and singles . Nowhere does it say that those who are cheating on their partners are swingers . They’re involved in the lifestyle , but they are still cheaters and as far as I’m concerned the choice they make to cheat on an unsuspecting partner sucks big time . With consent then of course it’s ok , without no way will I condone it . But it happens , and to be honest I guess if a cheating partner plays with a couple it’s much less likely that they will leave their partner for one of the couple . So maybe the extra curricular activity in a swinging sense is better than pulling at the local pub and running off with them ? But don’t try and convince me it’s ok to cheat , because by my moral code , any form of lying , deceit , or dishonesty in a relationship is wrong . I think you've completely misinterpreted what I said. At no point did i say swingers have no morals nor did I say I judge you for your sexual preference. if your partner knows you're on here or even if they know you're having sex with someone else and are ok with it, at no point is that considered cheating. I'm purely talking about the ones on here without consent hiding what they are doing from people they are trying to bed. I simply asked if cheating was ok and got my answer. That's it really. " I think you’ve misunderstood what I’ve said . I don’t think cheating is ok at all ! Those who defend it are either cheating , knowingly playing with those who cheat , or looking to score points with their ‘open minded ‘ opinion . | |||
"Its all personal preference if you don't like someone profile then block than its the adult thing to do instead of bleating on the forums about what total strangers to you do. It was just a debate on cheating. That's what the forums are for. Might as well close it then if you have an issue. Or we can have benal conversations about eggs. Funny because you say "if you don't like it block it, don't go on about it" and yet you didn't like my post and decided to comment instead of just going about your business. I think you’ve made some good points , and just because we are swingers , it doesn’t follow that we all have no morals . The whole judgement thing isn’t often spouted here on the forums , and more often than not it’s those that do the very things that society would judge as being wrong that tell us not to judge . Well here’s the thing , we joined a swinging site to swing and that’s by definition a lifestyle choice that promotes non monogamy amongst open relationship couples and singles . Nowhere does it say that those who are cheating on their partners are swingers . They’re involved in the lifestyle , but they are still cheaters and as far as I’m concerned the choice they make to cheat on an unsuspecting partner sucks big time . With consent then of course it’s ok , without no way will I condone it . But it happens , and to be honest I guess if a cheating partner plays with a couple it’s much less likely that they will leave their partner for one of the couple . So maybe the extra curricular activity in a swinging sense is better than pulling at the local pub and running off with them ? But don’t try and convince me it’s ok to cheat , because by my moral code , any form of lying , deceit , or dishonesty in a relationship is wrong . I think you've completely misinterpreted what I said. At no point did i say swingers have no morals nor did I say I judge you for your sexual preference. if your partner knows you're on here or even if they know you're having sex with someone else and are ok with it, at no point is that considered cheating. I'm purely talking about the ones on here without consent hiding what they are doing from people they are trying to bed. I simply asked if cheating was ok and got my answer. That's it really. I think you’ve misunderstood what I’ve said . I don’t think cheating is ok at all ! Those who defend it are either cheating , knowingly playing with those who cheat , or looking to score points with their ‘open minded ‘ opinion ." Totally agree with that | |||
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"I prefer to meet guys in relationships if I'm honest. Yes I know that makes me a terrible person. But I only do regular meets. With regular meets feelings can arrise naturally. I'm in a relationship and playing with consent but I found single guys tried to cause issues in my relationship. Married guys are in the same situation they love their wife's and just need something extra. " Wow now that a interesting opinion  | |||
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"Lets not forget, to the outside world, swingers are all cheaters despite the consent. The act in itself makes them a cheater. The swinging community have a different take on that. Consent making the idea of cheating null and void. Others think their private life is just that, private and make damned sure it stays that way. Not everyone is in a marriage that they can walk out of. Its very easy to give out marital and relationship advice. Unfortunately its rarely useful to the people who are having the problems in their marriage that brought them to sites like this. It isnt just sex for sex's sake that some people are on here. Plenty of people are here to remind themselves that someone still finds them attractive, actually WANTS to have sex with them and they get a huge boost from that. A sexless marriage does work in many respects, but it can get lonely on occasion. Not everyone is in a marriage that allows for such open conversations regarding sex. I go through periods of up to a couple of years at a time going by without sex with my wife. Constant refusal tends to make a partner give up, as they dont want to be seen as pestering their partner (hardly a seduction technique!) And they dont really want to be having sex with someone that they have a sneaking suspicion doesnt really want to be doing it. So not all of us cheaters are wanting our cake and eating it. All we want is a brief feeling of being wanted, sexually, for who we are. I probably cheat less than 6 times a year. Its safe sex, and I go home and carry on as normal. Judge me by all means, i really dont care, just be aware that you really dont know everyones circumstances and until those circumstances happen to you, you dont tfuly know what you would do either." Interesting story but I know what I would do and that is not cheat. I would just leave if i didn't feel like being with someone, I'd have that conversation. From experience if your partner is refusing sex with you for a period of time it's because they have fallen out of love with you and can't stand you and probably have someone on the side too. If you spoke to her you'd probably realise you're both cheating. That being said I don't really care about you cheating. I'm just not a fan of people not being honest with the person. Like I said I had sex with a married woman without knowing, imagine he walked in, I could have been hurt when it wasn't even my fault. That was my point. Anyway this convo is dead. I got my answer | |||
"Why not be honest?" Lol, boy's got some learning to do. | |||
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"Live your life the way you want to and stop judging others for doing the same. True I'll live my life lying and cheating my way through. Don't judge me though ok " I promise I won’t. Relax and enjoy the ride! | |||
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"Lets not forget, to the outside world, swingers are all cheaters despite the consent. The act in itself makes them a cheater. The swinging community have a different take on that. Consent making the idea of cheating null and void. Others think their private life is just that, private and make damned sure it stays that way. Not everyone is in a marriage that they can walk out of. Its very easy to give out marital and relationship advice. Unfortunately its rarely useful to the people who are having the problems in their marriage that brought them to sites like this. It isnt just sex for sex's sake that some people are on here. Plenty of people are here to remind themselves that someone still finds them attractive, actually WANTS to have sex with them and they get a huge boost from that. A sexless marriage does work in many respects, but it can get lonely on occasion. Not everyone is in a marriage that allows for such open conversations regarding sex. I go through periods of up to a couple of years at a time going by without sex with my wife. Constant refusal tends to make a partner give up, as they dont want to be seen as pestering their partner (hardly a seduction technique!) And they dont really want to be having sex with someone that they have a sneaking suspicion doesnt really want to be doing it. So not all of us cheaters are wanting our cake and eating it. All we want is a brief feeling of being wanted, sexually, for who we are. I probably cheat less than 6 times a year. Its safe sex, and I go home and carry on as normal. Judge me by all means, i really dont care, just be aware that you really dont know everyones circumstances and until those circumstances happen to you, you dont tfuly know what you would do either. Interesting story but I know what I would do and that is not cheat. I would just leave if i didn't feel like being with someone, I'd have that conversation. From experience if your partner is refusing sex with you for a period of time it's because they have fallen out of love with you and can't stand you and probably have someone on the side too. If you spoke to her you'd probably realise you're both cheating. That being said I don't really care about you cheating. I'm just not a fan of people not being honest with the person. Like I said I had sex with a married woman without knowing, imagine he walked in, I could have been hurt when it wasn't even my fault. That was my point. Anyway this convo is dead. I got my answer" What a pile of tosh! I stopped sleeping with my ex husband for a reason other than not being able to stand him or cheating on him. He never cheated on me either. Circumstances are often far more complex than this generalisation. You’re judging people on your own experience- did they cheat on you? My ex boyfriend cheated on me with a few women (found out in the end) and left me heartbroken, but I would never judge anyone else, as I don’t know their background. They could be in love with the person but crave sexual companionship, have children, be in a culture where separation not acceptable etc. We don’t know, so shouldn’t take the moral high ground, as we all do things that other people would see as unacceptable. We may not like something, but if it’s not affecting us, and isn’t some of the more abhorantly deviant sides of society (shouldn’t need to spell it out!) then we shouldn’t judge. Have an opinion, but don’t try and tell others, who are brave enough to risk your judgement and give a reason, that their partner is such and such, you can say you don’t like something without doing something like that. Simply say, not for me, and move on x | |||
"Lets not forget, to the outside world, swingers are all cheaters despite the consent. The act in itself makes them a cheater. The swinging community have a different take on that. Consent making the idea of cheating null and void. Others think their private life is just that, private and make damned sure it stays that way. Not everyone is in a marriage that they can walk out of. Its very easy to give out marital and relationship advice. Unfortunately its rarely useful to the people who are having the problems in their marriage that brought them to sites like this. It isnt just sex for sex's sake that some people are on here. Plenty of people are here to remind themselves that someone still finds them attractive, actually WANTS to have sex with them and they get a huge boost from that. A sexless marriage does work in many respects, but it can get lonely on occasion. Not everyone is in a marriage that allows for such open conversations regarding sex. I go through periods of up to a couple of years at a time going by without sex with my wife. Constant refusal tends to make a partner give up, as they dont want to be seen as pestering their partner (hardly a seduction technique!) And they dont really want to be having sex with someone that they have a sneaking suspicion doesnt really want to be doing it. So not all of us cheaters are wanting our cake and eating it. All we want is a brief feeling of being wanted, sexually, for who we are. I probably cheat less than 6 times a year. Its safe sex, and I go home and carry on as normal. Judge me by all means, i really dont care, just be aware that you really dont know everyones circumstances and until those circumstances happen to you, you dont tfuly know what you would do either. Interesting story but I know what I would do and that is not cheat. I would just leave if i didn't feel like being with someone, I'd have that conversation. From experience if your partner is refusing sex with you for a period of time it's because they have fallen out of love with you and can't stand you and probably have someone on the side too. If you spoke to her you'd probably realise you're both cheating. That being said I don't really care about you cheating. I'm just not a fan of people not being honest with the person. Like I said I had sex with a married woman without knowing, imagine he walked in, I could have been hurt when it wasn't even my fault. That was my point. Anyway this convo is dead. I got my answer What a pile of tosh! I stopped sleeping with my ex husband for a reason other than not being able to stand him or cheating on him. He never cheated on me either. Circumstances are often far more complex than this generalisation. You’re judging people on your own experience- did they cheat on you? My ex boyfriend cheated on me with a few women (found out in the end) and left me heartbroken, but I would never judge anyone else, as I don’t know their background. They could be in love with the person but crave sexual companionship, have children, be in a culture where separation not acceptable etc. We don’t know, so shouldn’t take the moral high ground, as we all do things that other people would see as unacceptable. We may not like something, but if it’s not affecting us, and isn’t some of the more abhorantly deviant sides of society (shouldn’t need to spell it out!) then we shouldn’t judge. Have an opinion, but don’t try and tell others, who are brave enough to risk your judgement and give a reason, that their partner is such and such, you can say you don’t like something without doing something like that. Simply say, not for me, and move on x" Sorry, shouldn’t have reacted so strongly, but I find sweeping generalisation, and ones that are hurtful (inadvertently or otherwise, to be distasteful) Not my place to judge. Everyone has their own reasons for responding to something as they do x | |||
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"I prefer to meet guys in relationships if I'm honest. Yes I know that makes me a terrible person. But I only do regular meets. With regular meets feelings can arrise naturally. I'm in a relationship and playing with consent but I found single guys tried to cause issues in my relationship. Married guys are in the same situation they love their wife's and just need something extra. No that's totally cool. I met women in relationships whos husbands or BF's knew. That is totally cool. I'm talking about cheating Yup and my two regular partners both cheat. Not my problem " I see this attitude a lot on here, not that it will bother you in the slightest, but I disagree....I think that anyone knowingly doing this IS part of the problem. Too easy just to say "none of my buisness".  | |||
"I've come across a few suspect profiles and got me thinking. Now I've always had a fantasy of sleeping with a married woman, husband at work, I come round and give her a good seeing too. However I've noticed many profiles on here are "discrete" and intentionally cheating on their partner. Is that ever acceptable? I obviously prefer couples who are in the loop and I've been in a position where I fucked a married woman only to be told she was married after sex so it doesn't feel great but why do people feel the need to sneak? Why not be honest?" Maybe it's not as hot if they're allowed to fuck around. The excitement is in the lying. | |||
"Its all personal preference if you don't like someone profile then block than its the adult thing to do instead of bleating on the forums about what total strangers to you do. It was just a debate on cheating. That's what the forums are for. Might as well close it then if you have an issue. Or we can have benal conversations about eggs. Funny because you say "if you don't like it block it, don't go on about it" and yet you didn't like my post and decided to comment instead of just going about your business. I think you’ve made some good points , and just because we are swingers , it doesn’t follow that we all have no morals . The whole judgement thing isn’t often spouted here on the forums , and more often than not it’s those that do the very things that society would judge as being wrong that tell us not to judge . Well here’s the thing , we joined a swinging site to swing and that’s by definition a lifestyle choice that promotes non monogamy amongst open relationship couples and singles . Nowhere does it say that those who are cheating on their partners are swingers . They’re involved in the lifestyle , but they are still cheaters and as far as I’m concerned the choice they make to cheat on an unsuspecting partner sucks big time . With consent then of course it’s ok , without no way will I condone it . But it happens , and to be honest I guess if a cheating partner plays with a couple it’s much less likely that they will leave their partner for one of the couple . So maybe the extra curricular activity in a swinging sense is better than pulling at the local pub and running off with them ? But don’t try and convince me it’s ok to cheat , because by my moral code , any form of lying , deceit , or dishonesty in a relationship is wrong . " I’m actually going to agree with you here and it’s my view on it too. I’ve been deceived by so many guys here and dating world. I just want them to be straight with me as I don’t like being caught up in something I don’t agree with. | |||
"For the record I'm not telling people how to live their life. I just think if you're gonna cheat on your spouse at least have the decency to tell the person you're cheating with that you're married. Imagine you're fucking someone and the husband walks in. You could get hurt without it even being your fault. My original question was "is cheating ok?" Based on the answers I gather people are cool with it on here. That's really all i wanted to know. " It's a swinging site. Swinging is the polar opposite of cheating, it's about love and trust. | |||
"For the record I'm not telling people how to live their life. I just think if you're gonna cheat on your spouse at least have the decency to tell the person you're cheating with that you're married. Imagine you're fucking someone and the husband walks in. You could get hurt without it even being your fault. My original question was "is cheating ok?" Based on the answers I gather people are cool with it on here. That's really all i wanted to know. It's a swinging site. Swinging is the polar opposite of cheating, it's about love and trust. " How does that fit in with single people? | |||
"For the record I'm not telling people how to live their life. I just think if you're gonna cheat on your spouse at least have the decency to tell the person you're cheating with that you're married. Imagine you're fucking someone and the husband walks in. You could get hurt without it even being your fault. My original question was "is cheating ok?" Based on the answers I gather people are cool with it on here. That's really all i wanted to know. It's a swinging site. Swinging is the polar opposite of cheating, it's about love and trust. How does that fit in with single people? " Those who are swingers will understand. The others won't. | |||
"Its all personal preference if you don't like someone profile then block than its the adult thing to do instead of bleating on the forums about what total strangers to you do. It was just a debate on cheating. That's what the forums are for. Might as well close it then if you have an issue. Or we can have benal conversations about eggs. Funny because you say "if you don't like it block it, don't go on about it" and yet you didn't like my post and decided to comment instead of just going about your business. I think you’ve made some good points , and just because we are swingers , it doesn’t follow that we all have no morals . The whole judgement thing isn’t often spouted here on the forums , and more often than not it’s those that do the very things that society would judge as being wrong that tell us not to judge . Well here’s the thing , we joined a swinging site to swing and that’s by definition a lifestyle choice that promotes non monogamy amongst open relationship couples and singles . Nowhere does it say that those who are cheating on their partners are swingers . They’re involved in the lifestyle , but they are still cheaters and as far as I’m concerned the choice they make to cheat on an unsuspecting partner sucks big time . With consent then of course it’s ok , without no way will I condone it . But it happens , and to be honest I guess if a cheating partner plays with a couple it’s much less likely that they will leave their partner for one of the couple . So maybe the extra curricular activity in a swinging sense is better than pulling at the local pub and running off with them ? But don’t try and convince me it’s ok to cheat , because by my moral code , any form of lying , deceit , or dishonesty in a relationship is wrong . I’m actually going to agree with you here and it’s my view on it too. I’ve been deceived by so many guys here and dating world. I just want them to be straight with me as I don’t like being caught up in something I don’t agree with. " This is the point I'm making but I think some of the people here either didn't read what I said or don't get it. Personally I don't think there is an excuse for cheating. If i felt the need to cheat I would talk to my partner and discuss my need and break it off. I think people who say it's none of my business are just trying to get their dick wet and don't care. Point is i don't want to be stuck in the middle of a couple's problems | |||
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"For the record I'm not telling people how to live their life. I just think if you're gonna cheat on your spouse at least have the decency to tell the person you're cheating with that you're married. Imagine you're fucking someone and the husband walks in. You could get hurt without it even being your fault. My original question was "is cheating ok?" Based on the answers I gather people are cool with it on here. That's really all i wanted to know. It's a swinging site. Swinging is the polar opposite of cheating, it's about love and trust. How does that fit in with single people? Those who are swingers will understand. The others won't. " Absolutely spot on . Swinging when a couple requires a couple to have a huge amount of love and trust to engage in a non monogamous marriage . Anyone joining the couple , for example a single , should respect this and engage with the couple accordingly . If they are a cheater perhaps they should admit this first ? I can’t imagine any couple wants an irate partner if a recent playmate on their doorstep . | |||
"Its all personal preference if you don't like someone profile then block than its the adult thing to do instead of bleating on the forums about what total strangers to you do. It was just a debate on cheating. That's what the forums are for. Might as well close it then if you have an issue. Or we can have benal conversations about eggs. Funny because you say "if you don't like it block it, don't go on about it" and yet you didn't like my post and decided to comment instead of just going about your business. I think you’ve made some good points , and just because we are swingers , it doesn’t follow that we all have no morals . The whole judgement thing isn’t often spouted here on the forums , and more often than not it’s those that do the very things that society would judge as being wrong that tell us not to judge . Well here’s the thing , we joined a swinging site to swing and that’s by definition a lifestyle choice that promotes non monogamy amongst open relationship couples and singles . Nowhere does it say that those who are cheating on their partners are swingers . They’re involved in the lifestyle , but they are still cheaters and as far as I’m concerned the choice they make to cheat on an unsuspecting partner sucks big time . With consent then of course it’s ok , without no way will I condone it . But it happens , and to be honest I guess if a cheating partner plays with a couple it’s much less likely that they will leave their partner for one of the couple . So maybe the extra curricular activity in a swinging sense is better than pulling at the local pub and running off with them ? But don’t try and convince me it’s ok to cheat , because by my moral code , any form of lying , deceit , or dishonesty in a relationship is wrong . I’m actually going to agree with you here and it’s my view on it too. I’ve been deceived by so many guys here and dating world. I just want them to be straight with me as I don’t like being caught up in something I don’t agree with. " Something of a surprise that we agree on something | |||
"Its all personal preference if you don't like someone profile then block than its the adult thing to do instead of bleating on the forums about what total strangers to you do. It was just a debate on cheating. That's what the forums are for. Might as well close it then if you have an issue. Or we can have benal conversations about eggs. Funny because you say "if you don't like it block it, don't go on about it" and yet you didn't like my post and decided to comment instead of just going about your business. I think you’ve made some good points , and just because we are swingers , it doesn’t follow that we all have no morals . The whole judgement thing isn’t often spouted here on the forums , and more often than not it’s those that do the very things that society would judge as being wrong that tell us not to judge . Well here’s the thing , we joined a swinging site to swing and that’s by definition a lifestyle choice that promotes non monogamy amongst open relationship couples and singles . Nowhere does it say that those who are cheating on their partners are swingers . They’re involved in the lifestyle , but they are still cheaters and as far as I’m concerned the choice they make to cheat on an unsuspecting partner sucks big time . With consent then of course it’s ok , without no way will I condone it . But it happens , and to be honest I guess if a cheating partner plays with a couple it’s much less likely that they will leave their partner for one of the couple . So maybe the extra curricular activity in a swinging sense is better than pulling at the local pub and running off with them ? But don’t try and convince me it’s ok to cheat , because by my moral code , any form of lying , deceit , or dishonesty in a relationship is wrong . I’m actually going to agree with you here and it’s my view on it too. I’ve been deceived by so many guys here and dating world. I just want them to be straight with me as I don’t like being caught up in something I don’t agree with. Something of a surprise that we agree on something "I know, right? | |||
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"So question.... swinging In a couple is all about honesty and trust, being open like minded and truthful. Respectful and thoughtful towards your partner and others you encounter SO..... all the ones who are on here cheating behind their gfs/bfs back they aren’t swingers then if that goes all against what swinging stands for and this is a swingers site right?......." im single but still not a swinger im more a mother fucker  | |||
"So question.... swinging In a couple is all about honesty and trust, being open like minded and truthful. Respectful and thoughtful towards your partner and others you encounter SO..... all the ones who are on here cheating behind their gfs/bfs back they aren’t swingers then if that goes all against what swinging stands for and this is a swingers site right?......." Spot on | |||
"So question.... swinging In a couple is all about honesty and trust, being open like minded and truthful. Respectful and thoughtful towards your partner and others you encounter SO..... all the ones who are on here cheating behind their gfs/bfs back they aren’t swingers then if that goes all against what swinging stands for and this is a swingers site right?......." But would they have even described themselves as swingers? There’s many people on here using the site for many purposes, not all would say they’re swingers. Heck, even those that do swing in the above ways you’ve described don’t necessarily agree what the term swinging is about either! | |||
"So question.... swinging In a couple is all about honesty and trust, being open like minded and truthful. Respectful and thoughtful towards your partner and others you encounter SO..... all the ones who are on here cheating behind their gfs/bfs back they aren’t swingers then if that goes all against what swinging stands for and this is a swingers site right?......." Correct, except when, in a couple, both parties partake in swinging activities without informing their other half. In such case I think they should be called oblivious swingers! | |||
"I've come across a few suspect profiles and got me thinking. Now I've always had a fantasy of sleeping with a married woman, husband at work, I come round and give her a good seeing too. However I've noticed many profiles on here are "discrete" and intentionally cheating on their partner. Is that ever acceptable? I obviously prefer couples who are in the loop and I've been in a position where I fucked a married woman only to be told she was married after sex so it doesn't feel great but why do people feel the need to sneak? Why not be honest?" How are these people as not showing as you've been verified .
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"So question.... swinging In a couple is all about honesty and trust, being open like minded and truthful. Respectful and thoughtful towards your partner and others you encounter SO..... all the ones who are on here cheating behind their gfs/bfs back they aren’t swingers then if that goes all against what swinging stands for and this is a swingers site right?......." I’m not a swinger, even if I was bona fide single it’s not in my make up in the true sense of the word. I googled NSA sex and Fabs popped up, go figure. It suits my needs prefectly and as I don’t take up any precious swinger cyber data so as far as I’m concerned it’s a case of live and let live. | |||
"I've come across a few suspect profiles and got me thinking. Now I've always had a fantasy of sleeping with a married woman, husband at work, I come round and give her a good seeing too. However I've noticed many profiles on here are "discrete" and intentionally cheating on their partner. Is that ever acceptable? I obviously prefer couples who are in the loop and I've been in a position where I fucked a married woman only to be told she was married after sex so it doesn't feel great but why do people feel the need to sneak? Why not be honest?" That's like 2/3 of fab! | |||
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"Your lack of understanding shows how immature you are. Wait until you've been cheated on by someone you properly care for. Betrayal is a killer" Errr.... I hope you're not talking about me because I'm the one saying that I think it's wrong | |||
"Your lack of understanding shows how immature you are. Wait until you've been cheated on by someone you properly care for. Betrayal is a killer Errr.... I hope you're not talking about me because I'm the one saying that I think it's wrong " Carnt we all just get along | |||
"Fab is fab and ppl will do what they like.... ....it's none of anyone's business really, is it? " This | |||
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"Fab is fab and ppl will do what they like.... ....it's none of anyone's business really, is it? This "There are a few points to consider here . If you unknowingly meet a cheater and their irate partner finds out and turns up on your doorstep . It becomes their business then doesn’t it ? The person that’s being cheated on ends up with an sti as a result of their cheating partners behaviour . It becomes their business then doesn’t it? The partner being cheated on finds out and starts divorce proceedings , naming the person their spouse has cheated with . It becomes their business then doesn’t it ? So it’s not necessarily that simple is it ? It’s all very well to say it’s no one else’s business but the reality can be very different . | |||
"Fab is fab and ppl will do what they like.... ....it's none of anyone's business really, is it? This
There are a few points to consider here .
If you unknowingly meet a cheater and their irate partner finds out and turns up on your doorstep . It becomes their business then doesn’t it ?
The person that’s being cheated on ends up with an sti as a result of their cheating partners behaviour . It becomes their business then doesn’t it?
The partner being cheated on finds out and starts divorce proceedings , naming the person their spouse has cheated with . It becomes their business then doesn’t it ?
So it’s not necessarily that simple is it ?
It’s all very well to say it’s no one else’s business but the reality can be very different .
"These are good points. | |||
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"Fab is fab and ppl will do what they like.... ....it's none of anyone's business really, is it? This
There are a few points to consider here .
If you unknowingly meet a cheater and their irate partner finds out and turns up on your doorstep . It becomes their business then doesn’t it ?
The person that’s being cheated on ends up with an sti as a result of their cheating partners behaviour . It becomes their business then doesn’t it?
The partner being cheated on finds out and starts divorce proceedings , naming the person their spouse has cheated with . It becomes their business then doesn’t it ?
So it’s not necessarily that simple is it ?
It’s all very well to say it’s no one else’s business but the reality can be very different .
"
Goes to demonstrate its not a clear as some like to think. It's easy to bury one's head and not for some. | |||
"Don't know their situation that's lead them to this, I don't judge I do judge. It's not cool, no excuse So if they are a long term carer for their spouse should they then seperate from that spouse, put them in a (often failing) care home so they continue sexual meets? Would that be the cool thing to do? " good point well put. never judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes! | |||
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"Don't know their situation that's lead them to this, I don't judge I do judge. It's not cool, no excuse So if they are a long term carer for their spouse should they then seperate from that spouse, put them in a (often failing) care home so they continue sexual meets? Would that be the cool thing to do? good point well put. never judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes!" Then you'll be a mile from them ... and have their shoes | |||
"Most marrieds end up loathing each other but due to family commitments and house prices dont want the upheaval of separation. Been there done that. Dont feel its my place to judge." I think there's something in that, but then the honest thing to do is to talk to your partner and work out a new basis for your relationship. | |||
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"I think people need to be honest on their profiles and state whether they are cheating so others can make an informed decision whether to get involved in that train wreck or not. " They're lying to their partners. They're unlikely to care about lying to randoms on the Internet | |||
"I think people need to be honest on their profiles and state whether they are cheating so others can make an informed decision whether to get involved in that train wreck or not. They're lying to their partners. They're unlikely to care about lying to randoms on the Internet " Don’t tar everyone with the same brush. One reason why some don’t disclose it on their profile is it can’t attract unsolicited nasty messages. | |||
"Most marrieds end up loathing each other but due to family commitments and house prices dont want the upheaval of separation. Been there done that. Dont feel its my place to judge." Be interested in the stats you have for that? I'm gonna call BS on that one im afraid. It sounds more emotive than factual. Yes many marriages fail, not most. Currently it's sitting at about 50 % from 2016 government stats. Many separate harmoniously/amicably. That leaves those indifferent and then loathsome. I'm guessing most that stay together don't loath each other either, though i can't find stats for that some be wrong. | |||
"Don't know their situation that's lead them to this, I don't judge I do judge. It's not cool, no excuse So if they are a long term carer for their spouse should they then seperate from that spouse, put them in a (often failing) care home so they continue sexual meets? Would that be the cool thing to do? good point well put. never judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes!" You can't, their shoes won't fit. Their circumstances won't be the same and their paths would be different to yours as you'd make different choices trying to walk in their shoes if you were able to so out comes would be different. | |||
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"Lets not forget, to the outside world, swingers are all cheaters despite the consent. The act in itself makes them a cheater. The swinging community have a different take on that. Consent making the idea of cheating null and void. Others think their private life is just that, private and make damned sure it stays that way. Not everyone is in a marriage that they can walk out of. Its very easy to give out marital and relationship advice. Unfortunately its rarely useful to the people who are having the problems in their marriage that brought them to sites like this. It isnt just sex for sex's sake that some people are on here. Plenty of people are here to remind themselves that someone still finds them attractive, actually WANTS to have sex with them and they get a huge boost from that. A sexless marriage does work in many respects, but it can get lonely on occasion. Not everyone is in a marriage that allows for such open conversations regarding sex. I go through periods of up to a couple of years at a time going by without sex with my wife. Constant refusal tends to make a partner give up, as they dont want to be seen as pestering their partner (hardly a seduction technique!) And they dont really want to be having sex with someone that they have a sneaking suspicion doesnt really want to be doing it. So not all of us cheaters are wanting our cake and eating it. All we want is a brief feeling of being wanted, sexually, for who we are. I probably cheat less than 6 times a year. Its safe sex, and I go home and carry on as normal. Judge me by all means, i really dont care, just be aware that you really dont know everyones circumstances and until those circumstances happen to you, you dont tfuly know what you would do either. Interesting story but I know what I would do and that is not cheat. I would just leave if i didn't feel like being with someone, I'd have that conversation. From experience if your partner is refusing sex with you for a period of time it's because they have fallen out of love with you and can't stand you and probably have someone on the side too. If you spoke to her you'd probably realise you're both cheating. That being said I don't really care about you cheating. I'm just not a fan of people not being honest with the person. Like I said I had sex with a married woman without knowing, imagine he walked in, I could have been hurt when it wasn't even my fault. That was my point. Anyway this convo is dead. I got my answer" No she isnt cheating. She hates her body and has done for the last 18 years or more. You obviously either didnt read or didnt understand what i wrote. I cant just walk away from the marriage. Besides which, i dont want to, i still have hope. I never thought to actually discuss our lack of a sex life. In the twenty years weve been married, the idea of talking to her never entered my head. Thats sarcasm by the way. In case you had trouble spotting it. | |||
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"Lets not forget, to the outside world, swingers are all cheaters despite the consent. The act in itself makes them a cheater. The swinging community have a different take on that. Consent making the idea of cheating null and void. Others think their private life is just that, private and make damned sure it stays that way. Not everyone is in a marriage that they can walk out of. Its very easy to give out marital and relationship advice. Unfortunately its rarely useful to the people who are having the problems in their marriage that brought them to sites like this. It isnt just sex for sex's sake that some people are on here. Plenty of people are here to remind themselves that someone still finds them attractive, actually WANTS to have sex with them and they get a huge boost from that. A sexless marriage does work in many respects, but it can get lonely on occasion. Not everyone is in a marriage that allows for such open conversations regarding sex. I go through periods of up to a couple of years at a time going by without sex with my wife. Constant refusal tends to make a partner give up, as they dont want to be seen as pestering their partner (hardly a seduction technique!) And they dont really want to be having sex with someone that they have a sneaking suspicion doesnt really want to be doing it. So not all of us cheaters are wanting our cake and eating it. All we want is a brief feeling of being wanted, sexually, for who we are. I probably cheat less than 6 times a year. Its safe sex, and I go home and carry on as normal. Judge me by all means, i really dont care, just be aware that you really dont know everyones circumstances and until those circumstances happen to you, you dont tfuly know what you would do either. Interesting story but I know what I would do and that is not cheat. I would just leave if i didn't feel like being with someone, I'd have that conversation. From experience if your partner is refusing sex with you for a period of time it's because they have fallen out of love with you and can't stand you and probably have someone on the side too. If you spoke to her you'd probably realise you're both cheating. That being said I don't really care about you cheating. I'm just not a fan of people not being honest with the person. Like I said I had sex with a married woman without knowing, imagine he walked in, I could have been hurt when it wasn't even my fault. That was my point. Anyway this convo is dead. I got my answer No she isnt cheating. She hates her body and has done for the last 18 years or more. You obviously either didnt read or didnt understand what i wrote. I cant just walk away from the marriage. Besides which, i dont want to, i still have hope. I never thought to actually discuss our lack of a sex life. In the twenty years weve been married, the idea of talking to her never entered my head. Thats sarcasm by the way. In case you had trouble spotting it." So many people dont understand that lack of sex doesnt mean your not in love with eachouther. The people that say if you dont get sex then just leave them are the ones ide dought actually love eachouther and only there for the sex. Now im going to get some fall back for saying that but its true. A marriage is not just sex. | |||
