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Do you have enough love in your life...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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... in any form, be it friends, partner, children, siblings etc?
If you do have you always felt this way? If not then what changed?
If you don't have enough love what are you going to do about it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Plenty of love, not enough time for the individuals though especially friends but I guess that’s love too, understanding there’s not enough time "
Compromise and understanding is most definitely a key component of healthy love. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I'd say yes and no.
Having enough love makes it sound like I am done and dusted with my lot a bit.
I always have more love to give (in all senses of the word); it's not something I see as a finite resource. On the other hand, I don't feel like I am particularly wanting for it at times. Or like I *need* more.
What a waffle of a stream of consciousness that doesn't directly address your questions! Apologies. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd say yes and no.
Having enough love makes it sound like I am done and dusted with my lot a bit.
I always have more love to give (in all senses of the word); it's not something I see as a finite resource. On the other hand, I don't feel like I am particularly wanting for it at times. Or like I *need* more.
What a waffle of a stream of consciousness that doesn't directly address your questions! Apologies."
It's exactly what I asked, for your perspective.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Spent way too much time years back thinking way too highly of myself for love. I was fit, athletic and a cocky fucker. Didbt have enough room for loving another as I just about had enough room for me.
After a serious bout of depression, two near death experiences and a whole host of negativity thrown my way my weight ballooned where I despised myself. Thought then I dont deserve it at that point.
Now? I'm trying to rectify the detrimental effect I have had on my body and psyche. It's a battle everyday. Especially when still despising what you see in the mirror. Have had it reinforced on here that I'm not the ideal specimen. Repeatedly. I focus on spreading a little joy and nicety to all corners of the forums. Hard. Very Robin William's attitude here. Do I wallow? No. Keep showing on here every day being myself.
Do i believe I deserve love now? Yep even though I dont know why cause I hate myself. I am reconciling with an ex who loves me more now, even though I had a lot more of the physical attributes that society deem pleasing, than she ever did due to the person I have become.
I aim to be worthy of that love by being the best me I can be and proving that sometimes the most beautiful people are those who shine from within and the ugliest can be those who shine from without!
Sorry for the over share! Rough fucking day.... |
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"... in any form, be it friends, partner, children, siblings etc?
If you do have you always felt this way? If not then what changed?
If you don't have enough love what are you going to do about it? "
How timely is this post!?
Going through a pretty shit time at the moment, and have recently worked out why I’m feeling so low about it. No close friends, family, no partner, no one. Hence, no support.
I know exactly why and it’s only now that a lot of my life and circumstances have been stripped back that I see that I’m all alone.
In terms of ‘what am I going to do about it?’ That’s the million dollar question...absolutely no idea, but I started wine at 4pm, no the answer but it’s where I’m at at the moment. |
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"Spent way too much time years back thinking way too highly of myself for love. I was fit, athletic and a cocky fucker. Didbt have enough room for loving another as I just about had enough room for me.
After a serious bout of depression, two near death experiences and a whole host of negativity thrown my way my weight ballooned where I despised myself. Thought then I dont deserve it at that point.
Now? I'm trying to rectify the detrimental effect I have had on my body and psyche. It's a battle everyday. Especially when still despising what you see in the mirror. Have had it reinforced on here that I'm not the ideal specimen. Repeatedly. I focus on spreading a little joy and nicety to all corners of the forums. Hard. Very Robin William's attitude here. Do I wallow? No. Keep showing on here every day being myself.
Do i believe I deserve love now? Yep even though I dont know why cause I hate myself. I am reconciling with an ex who loves me more now, even though I had a lot more of the physical attributes that society deem pleasing, than she ever did due to the person I have become.
I aim to be worthy of that love by being the best me I can be and proving that sometimes the most beautiful people are those who shine from within and the ugliest can be those who shine from without!
Sorry for the over share! Rough fucking day.... "
It wasn't an overshare. I think it a brave share, an open share. Glad you can talk about things. So well written and explained to.
Each day is different x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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For a lot of years I felt very alone and unloved. Crap upbringing and undiagnosed autism left me feeling very isolated and I craved a sense of belonging, or someone who 'got' me.
Since then I've managed to 'get' myself so I don't feel the need for external validation anymore. I've got friends and family to love and who love me back, but it wasn't until I felt at peace with myself that I could really access and reciprocate that love.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel the love of my grandchildren and that's enough for me.
I have sexual partners who have told me they love me, yet I don't feel loved by them.
I don't think I've ever felt loved romantically. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Male half here. I used to feel so alone and unloved then I met C and my world changed so much I’ve never been so happy or felt so loved thank you darlin you saved me xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I did.
Getting pregnant meant I lost a lot of friends. I’m not invited out anymore, no one can be bothered to message and it’s all very one sided (I’m making the effort).
I always see teen mums ranting on Facebook how ‘pregnancy will show your true friends’ but my god is that true....folk I’ve been friends with for years just don’t bother with me anymore. If I invite them anywhere they’ll ‘let me know’ then all go out without me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Spent way too much time years back thinking way too highly of myself for love. I was fit, athletic and a cocky fucker. Didbt have enough room for loving another as I just about had enough room for me.
After a serious bout of depression, two near death experiences and a whole host of negativity thrown my way my weight ballooned where I despised myself. Thought then I dont deserve it at that point.
Now? I'm trying to rectify the detrimental effect I have had on my body and psyche. It's a battle everyday. Especially when still despising what you see in the mirror. Have had it reinforced on here that I'm not the ideal specimen. Repeatedly. I focus on spreading a little joy and nicety to all corners of the forums. Hard. Very Robin William's attitude here. Do I wallow? No. Keep showing on here every day being myself.
Do i believe I deserve love now? Yep even though I dont know why cause I hate myself. I am reconciling with an ex who loves me more now, even though I had a lot more of the physical attributes that society deem pleasing, than she ever did due to the person I have become.
I aim to be worthy of that love by being the best me I can be and proving that sometimes the most beautiful people are those who shine from within and the ugliest can be those who shine from without!
Sorry for the over share! Rough fucking day....
It wasn't an overshare. I think it a brave share, an open share. Glad you can talk about things. So well written and explained to.
Each day is different x "
Exactly. Post what you need to post. |
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"... in any form, be it friends, partner, children, siblings etc?
If you do have you always felt this way? If not then what changed?
If you don't have enough love what are you going to do about it? "
Yes , a wonderful loving and supportive wife , a fantastic stepson , and three wonderful kids .
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have that all-consuming head over heels love them forever type of love you get with a partner but I do have lots of love from my family and friends and I'm content with that for now.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I feel the love of my grandchildren and that's enough for me.
I have sexual partners who have told me they love me, yet I don't feel loved by them.
I don't think I've ever felt loved romantically. "
I've felt loved romantically, but I there were so many conditions that it felt suffocating. It was about what they could get from me rather than a mutual what we can do for each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel the love of my grandchildren and that's enough for me.
I have sexual partners who have told me they love me, yet I don't feel loved by them.
I don't think I've ever felt loved romantically.
I've felt loved romantically, but I there were so many conditions that it felt suffocating. It was about what they could get from me rather than a mutual what we can do for each other. "
My husband said he loved me a couple of times, but I never felt it.
I need to be shown love, not told it. |
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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
"... in any form, be it friends, partner, children, siblings etc?
If you do have you always felt this way? If not then what changed?
If you don't have enough love what are you going to do about it? "
No partner lost parents my kids bless them deal with me working 24/7.
Friends... they all have lives so don't like to pester them .
Do I feel loved? Nope
Do I have enough in my life? Probably not
What can I do to change it? Short of a lottery win and stumbling across someone who finds me attractive... not a lot.
Just deal with what life hands out |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't have that all-consuming head over heels love them forever type of love you get with a partner but I do have lots of love from my family and friends and I'm content with that for now.
"
I'm happy with this too for now. If it happens it happens but I'm not actively seeking it. If I ever do feel this way again it will have to be with an exceptional person because I won't entertain anything less. Ive fallen for unsuitable people in the past and now I'd rather have no relationship than a mediocre one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really fucking miss love. Being the centre of someone's world and vice versa, two minds in synch and all that shiz, it's a beautiful thing I never thought was really real until it happened....
My baby gives good hugs though....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can there be a wrong sort of love, or does that make it something else. Ive been loved but not in a loving way if that makes any sense. I can also give that sort of love out but it doesnt particulary feel like movie esque love.
I know it is different as I love my kids in a totally different way even when they are a pain in the arse. Same goes for sisters and mum.
So in essence I struggle with romantic love but fine with family love.
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"I feel the love of my grandchildren and that's enough for me.
I have sexual partners who have told me they love me, yet I don't feel loved by them.
I don't think I've ever felt loved romantically.
I've felt loved romantically, but I there were so many conditions that it felt suffocating. It was about what they could get from me rather than a mutual what we can do for each other.
My husband said he loved me a couple of times, but I never felt it.
I need to be shown love, not told it."
Yep. It isn't enough to say you love someone. Actions speak louder than words. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can there be a wrong sort of love, or does that make it something else. Ive been loved but not in a loving way if that makes any sense. I can also give that sort of love out but it doesnt particulary feel like movie esque love.
I know it is different as I love my kids in a totally different way even when they are a pain in the arse. Same goes for sisters and mum.
So in essence I struggle with romantic love but fine with family love.
"
Same  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel the love of my grandchildren and that's enough for me.
I have sexual partners who have told me they love me, yet I don't feel loved by them.
I don't think I've ever felt loved romantically.
I've felt loved romantically, but I there were so many conditions that it felt suffocating. It was about what they could get from me rather than a mutual what we can do for each other.
My husband said he loved me a couple of times, but I never felt it.
I need to be shown love, not told it.
Yep. It isn't enough to say you love someone. Actions speak louder than words."
This sounds more like what I was trying to say |
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yes and no
For my children there older now
I also stopped working just to have a chat with my daughter, who phoned up upset and crying on the phone.
Just wanted someone to speak to and comfort her over the phone.
Ive given plenty to the expartners of mine.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can there be a wrong sort of love, or does that make it something else. Ive been loved but not in a loving way if that makes any sense. I can also give that sort of love out but it doesnt particulary feel like movie esque love.
I know it is different as I love my kids in a totally different way even when they are a pain in the arse. Same goes for sisters and mum.
So in essence I struggle with romantic love but fine with family love.
"
Does movie-esque love actually exist though? Surely it's portrayed in such a fantastical way that no relationship can ever live up to it. To be loved and to love is essential for our mental health but it doesn't have to be romantic. We can be healthy and happy without it. |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
Actually I've been blessed, I've always had love of one form or another in my life, so I cant complain. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have enough love from doughnut (although I think he will argue that he could love me more!) when it comes to my kids, they love me to death but not living with them, I feel it’s lacking somewhat the way it used to be but this could be that fact they are getting older.
I feel the right about of love overall lol.
Danish x |
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Yes and no I guess!
I’ve got 3 amazing kids who I adore - plus a wonderful mum and a pretty close ‘wider’ family! I also have some truly awesome friends - many of which unfortunately live hundreds of miles away!
I have a couple of fwb’s that I see very rarely - but when we DO see each other both the sex and company is wonderful!
I also have casual sex on demand when needed as I have a vagina!
But - would i like to have someone really special who can handle non monogamy? Would I like someone to think I’m bloody amazing just as I am, who I find equally amazing. Someone I can cuddle up to regularly? Hell yes!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes I have plenty of love in my life, but there is always room for more, both giving and receiving - the source is abundant "
It truly is, there is always more. When I was pregnant with my second child I was so worried because I couldn't imagine loving anyone as much as my first. Then he was born and it was all perfect the love is infinite and doesn't diminish with the addition of more people in your life. |
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"
But - would i like to have someone really special who can handle non monogamy? Would I like someone to think I’m bloody amazing just as I am, who I find equally amazing. Someone I can cuddle up to regularly? Hell yes!! "
I want this too! I’m so scared that I wouldn’t be able to hold on to it anymore. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
This is quite a heavy and difficult topic for me I guess!
I have my kids, they're my family after mine demonstrated that I wasn't enough.
I have my girlfriend who I adore and very select friends. In the general scheme of things I'm loved and supported enough.
The ghosts of the past are rarely far away though. I think the question is more a case of; do you love yourself and can that be a shield against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune?
I'm unsure about that one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have my parents and they have gone above and beyond in the past and I'll always be grateful for that. I have my lovely dog too who is pretty much my best friend.
One day I hope to let another special girl in my life but not ready for that yet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I have plenty of love in my life, but there is always room for more, both giving and receiving - the source is abundant
It truly is, there is always more. When I was pregnant with my second child I was so worried because I couldn't imagine loving anyone as much as my first. Then he was born and it was all perfect the love is infinite and doesn't diminish with the addition of more people in your life. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes. Though I will always miss my mum's love. It was unconditional
I miss your love since you went all monogamous  "
Awwww I can give you a different type of love |
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I am in for the first time in a very long time one of the most beautiful places I’ve been in. I honestly feel like I’m in a dream sometimes it’s crazy.
My primary partner & I share a love that is incredibly deep and next level. Both of us have admitted to have never loved like this before and it’s amazing. He makes me feel like I’ve never felt, he’s truly my soul mate.
And if I haven’t make you sick yet...I also last year got back in touch with my sister after years of being estranged and now I have her and my gorgeous niece in my life it’s like I’ve been given a second chance with family and I’m so grateful.
And just a cherry on the cake is genuinely my friends and my partner’s family who have been incredibly warm and loving.
I hate to be THAT guy but I’m so happy with where my love is, I’m kinda not feeling too bad for making you all vomit
How I got here? Loving myself and keeping toxic people and relationships at bay |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... in any form, be it friends, partner, children, siblings etc?
If you do have you always felt this way? If not then what changed?
If you don't have enough love what are you going to do about it? "
Familial love, no.
Child-parent with my child, yes, she is the light of my life and makes up for the rest.
Just about given up on romantic love, been badly burnt one too many times. |
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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago
Gleam Street |
I do.. my old dears are awesome, my sister and family in general... I know I'm lucky. As for my partner and friends... couldnt ask for more. Friends in particular as they've all been around for years.. cant fault the love from any or the love I have for them .. there are some superb people in my life who I'm very grateful for x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... in any form, be it friends, partner, children, siblings etc?
If you do have you always felt this way? If not then what changed?
If you don't have enough love what are you going to do about it? "
I certainly have enough love in my life. From friends family and even my animals..
It's sex that i don't have enough of in my life haha  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would like to think my dogs love me, but they stick close to me only because I drop a lot of crumbs
I'm sure they adore you "
No, it's just the food they love  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am in for the first time in a very long time one of the most beautiful places I’ve been in. I honestly feel like I’m in a dream sometimes it’s crazy.
My primary partner & I share a love that is incredibly deep and next level. Both of us have admitted to have never loved like this before and it’s amazing. He makes me feel like I’ve never felt, he’s truly my soul mate.
And if I haven’t make you sick yet...I also last year got back in touch with my sister after years of being estranged and now I have her and my gorgeous niece in my life it’s like I’ve been given a second chance with family and I’m so grateful.
And just a cherry on the cake is genuinely my friends and my partner’s family who have been incredibly warm and loving.
I hate to be THAT guy but I’m so happy with where my love is, I’m kinda not feeling too bad for making you all vomit
How I got here? Loving myself and keeping toxic people and relationships at bay "
Nauseating but beautiful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This thread has really got me thinking.
The whole surrounded by people but always lonely feeling has been hitting me hard over the past week.
The ways we try to fill the void, be it actions, people, or whatever. But whatever you attempt it never really does what you need to in the long term. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... in any form, be it friends, partner, children, siblings etc?
If you do have you always felt this way? If not then what changed?
If you don't have enough love what are you going to do about it? "
I have a lot of love around me. I come from a big family. However I think could give more out to people I dont know, maybe I should do some charity work of sorts. |
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" Nauseating but beautiful "
I did warn! Ha
I had a horrendous history of self hate/harm and bad relationships so to anyone who is in that place right now, please know there’s a better place to be. It’d make those trashy magazines sound like Disney movies it’s bad.
Loving yourself and being yourself for you is the best advice I got and I changed my life around. |
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"This thread has really got me thinking.
The whole surrounded by people but always lonely feeling has been hitting me hard over the past week.
The ways we try to fill the void, be it actions, people, or whatever. But whatever you attempt it never really does what you need to in the long term. "
Definitely. Loneliness can’t be cured by someone or something it needs to be addressed. I was probably at my loneliest when I was my most popular friend wise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can there be a wrong sort of love, or does that make it something else. Ive been loved but not in a loving way if that makes any sense. I can also give that sort of love out but it doesnt particulary feel like movie esque love.
I know it is different as I love my kids in a totally different way even when they are a pain in the arse. Same goes for sisters and mum.
So in essence I struggle with romantic love but fine with family love.
"
Love just is. It's only ever real if we give it.
If its returned then the world becomes a magical place.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This thread has really got me thinking.
The whole surrounded by people but always lonely feeling has been hitting me hard over the past week.
The ways we try to fill the void, be it actions, people, or whatever. But whatever you attempt it never really does what you need to in the long term.
Definitely. Loneliness can’t be cured by someone or something it needs to be addressed. I was probably at my loneliest when I was my most popular friend wise."
My largest problem is all of my close true friends have moved away or... Other things and while my family are around its different.
So I'm surrounded by distant friends who clearly don't view me as much of a friend as I attempt to view them as. All effort feels like it is on my part and feels like it's unappreciated. |
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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago
'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks |
Family and friend love i have in abundance...but its romantic love which i crave but which always seems to elude me.
I just never felt like i was good enough for the men ive been involved with, evident in the fact that i cant hold there interest without them leaving me or treating mw badly
Its a shite state of affairs so im just going to get some cats and make them love me instead   |
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"
Definitely. Loneliness can’t be cured by someone or something it needs to be addressed. I was probably at my loneliest when I was my most popular friend wise.
My largest problem is all of my close true friends have moved away or... Other things and while my family are around its different.
So I'm surrounded by distant friends who clearly don't view me as much of a friend as I attempt to view them as. All effort feels like it is on my part and feels like it's unappreciated. "
If someone makes you feel unappreciated then they’re definitely an acquaintance not a friend. I spent years chasing after people and flogged myself thinking it was me. Put effort into those who appreciate you rather than empty vessels.
I’d rather have no friends at all than lots who drain me because at least my loneliness is something I can work with and fill with self exploration until I find like minded. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Definitely. Loneliness can’t be cured by someone or something it needs to be addressed. I was probably at my loneliest when I was my most popular friend wise.
My largest problem is all of my close true friends have moved away or... Other things and while my family are around its different.
So I'm surrounded by distant friends who clearly don't view me as much of a friend as I attempt to view them as. All effort feels like it is on my part and feels like it's unappreciated.
If someone makes you feel unappreciated then they’re definitely an acquaintance not a friend. I spent years chasing after people and flogged myself thinking it was me. Put effort into those who appreciate you rather than empty vessels.
I’d rather have no friends at all than lots who drain me because at least my loneliness is something I can work with and fill with self exploration until I find like minded. "
Starting to feel that way. Just need to get over the loneliness that comes with it of letting them all go, despite the negatives that I know they bring. |
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"I did.
Getting pregnant meant I lost a lot of friends. I’m not invited out anymore, no one can be bothered to message and it’s all very one sided (I’m making the effort).
I always see teen mums ranting on Facebook how ‘pregnancy will show your true friends’ but my god is that true....folk I’ve been friends with for years just don’t bother with me anymore. If I invite them anywhere they’ll ‘let me know’ then all go out without me"
I can relate to that!
Sadly it happens all over again if you become single again in your forties! Everyone else is doing couple/family things and you stop getting invited anywhere - even for coffee with the girls - in case relationship failure is contagious!
Most of my best friends are on fab now - which is why I’m staying put! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its there but it doesn't get shown. Kids I know do but they don't express it really due to disabilities and difficulty in showing those emotions.
Other people I'd really like to don't.
Only place I get any is my dogs, always happy to see me and want cuddles etc.
Pretty lonely a lot of the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its there but it doesn't get shown. Kids I know do but they don't express it really due to disabilities and difficulty in showing those emotions.
Other people I'd really like to don't.
Only place I get any is my dogs, always happy to see me and want cuddles etc.
Pretty lonely a lot of the time."
The love from a dog is pure and lasting. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm alone - I'm OK with it most of the time.
My mum, dad, sister and niece have all passed away and I have lost contact with most of my friends due to being rubbish at staying in contact.
I haven't been in a relationship in years and I don't have children.
I used to be loved by people and I used to love them back.
It's something that isn't in my life anymore.
|
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
From my immediate family I have enough definitely. I miss the love only a parent can give, I've got an older lady who I see quite often. I can talk to her about stuff, she's very wise and has no children of her own nearby so it's nice for us both.
My kids aren't keen on her though because she's quite religious and I do worry that they don't have any older people in their lives  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can there be a wrong sort of love, or does that make it something else. Ive been loved but not in a loving way if that makes any sense. I can also give that sort of love out but it doesnt particulary feel like movie esque love.
I know it is different as I love my kids in a totally different way even when they are a pain in the arse. Same goes for sisters and mum.
So in essence I struggle with romantic love but fine with family love.
Does movie-esque love actually exist though? Surely it's portrayed in such a fantastical way that no relationship can ever live up to it. To be loved and to love is essential for our mental health but it doesn't have to be romantic. We can be healthy and happy without it. "
Was just thinking yes, perhaps your first love is like that when your young and fresh until the reality of life kicks in.
We can be happy without romantic love I guess yes. Will there always just be a little something missing though. A tiny craving for it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm alone - I'm OK with it most of the time.
My mum, dad, sister and niece have all passed away and I have lost contact with most of my friends due to being rubbish at staying in contact.
I haven't been in a relationship in years and I don't have children.
I used to be loved by people and I used to love them back.
It's something that isn't in my life anymore.
"
I am unable to fully relate, as I do still have my mother, brother and his family. However friends wise I am feeling in a purgatory and struggling to deal with how I truly feel about it all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This thread has made me feel rather sad, not just because Tame doesn't know what love is... "
I just like to shoe horn Haddaways back catalogue in where I can. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can there be a wrong sort of love, or does that make it something else. Ive been loved but not in a loving way if that makes any sense. I can also give that sort of love out but it doesnt particulary feel like movie esque love.
I know it is different as I love my kids in a totally different way even when they are a pain in the arse. Same goes for sisters and mum.
So in essence I struggle with romantic love but fine with family love.
Does movie-esque love actually exist though? Surely it's portrayed in such a fantastical way that no relationship can ever live up to it. To be loved and to love is essential for our mental health but it doesn't have to be romantic. We can be healthy and happy without it.
Was just thinking yes, perhaps your first love is like that when your young and fresh until the reality of life kicks in.
We can be happy without romantic love I guess yes. Will there always just be a little something missing though. A tiny craving for it. "
Probably. I would be ecstatic if I happened upon someone similar enough to me in order to feel a sense of kinship and belonging, and different enough so I could marvel at and admire their individuality and learn a thing or two, and for them to feel just the same for me. They'd also have to like and respect themselves enough to accept being loved and to give it back freely. I've had enough partners with unresolved baggage and I don't want anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm alone - I'm OK with it most of the time.
My mum, dad, sister and niece have all passed away and I have lost contact with most of my friends due to being rubbish at staying in contact.
I haven't been in a relationship in years and I don't have children.
I used to be loved by people and I used to love them back.
It's something that isn't in my life anymore.
I am unable to fully relate, as I do still have my mother, brother and his family. However friends wise I am feeling in a purgatory and struggling to deal with how I truly feel about it all."
I'm sorry to hear that.
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sadly, one of our forumites has gone unlos.
I’m not sure who that was but they didn’t sound in a great place 
It was deathwolf "
That's a shame. hopefully he is ok and will come back when he's ready. I like that guy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sadly, one of our forumites has gone unlos.
I’m not sure who that was but they didn’t sound in a great place
It was deathwolf "
Oh dear, I hope he's alright. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I need more OP. It needs to be from someone who complements and really connects with you. I think you're right about being at peace with yourself. Only then can you freely express your feelings without fear. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Can there be a wrong sort of love, or does that make it something else. Ive been loved but not in a loving way if that makes any sense. I can also give that sort of love out but it doesnt particulary feel like movie esque love.
I know it is different as I love my kids in a totally different way even when they are a pain in the arse. Same goes for sisters and mum.
So in essence I struggle with romantic love but fine with family love.
Does movie-esque love actually exist though? Surely it's portrayed in such a fantastical way that no relationship can ever live up to it. To be loved and to love is essential for our mental health but it doesn't have to be romantic. We can be healthy and happy without it.
Was just thinking yes, perhaps your first love is like that when your young and fresh until the reality of life kicks in.
We can be happy without romantic love I guess yes. Will there always just be a little something missing though. A tiny craving for it.
Probably. I would be ecstatic if I happened upon someone similar enough to me in order to feel a sense of kinship and belonging, and different enough so I could marvel at and admire their individuality and learn a thing or two, and for them to feel just the same for me. They'd also have to like and respect themselves enough to accept being loved and to give it back freely. I've had enough partners with unresolved baggage and I don't want anymore. "
That sounds like a very realistic expectation of what a relationship should be.
Regarding baggage, I think that most people come with theirs, it's how it's dealt with. I guess that they key word there is 'unresolved'! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Can there be a wrong sort of love, or does that make it something else. Ive been loved but not in a loving way if that makes any sense. I can also give that sort of love out but it doesnt particulary feel like movie esque love.
I know it is different as I love my kids in a totally different way even when they are a pain in the arse. Same goes for sisters and mum.
So in essence I struggle with romantic love but fine with family love.
Does movie-esque love actually exist though? Surely it's portrayed in such a fantastical way that no relationship can ever live up to it. To be loved and to love is essential for our mental health but it doesn't have to be romantic. We can be healthy and happy without it.
Was just thinking yes, perhaps your first love is like that when your young and fresh until the reality of life kicks in.
We can be happy without romantic love I guess yes. Will there always just be a little something missing though. A tiny craving for it.
Probably. I would be ecstatic if I happened upon someone similar enough to me in order to feel a sense of kinship and belonging, and different enough so I could marvel at and admire their individuality and learn a thing or two, and for them to feel just the same for me. They'd also have to like and respect themselves enough to accept being loved and to give it back freely. I've had enough partners with unresolved baggage and I don't want anymore.
That sounds like a very realistic expectation of what a relationship should be.
Regarding baggage, I think that most people come with theirs, it's how it's dealt with. I guess that they key word there is 'unresolved'! "
Of course everyone has a history and the scars to prove it. Some people don't take responsibility for sorting it out though. Nobody can fix that sort of thing for you and ignoring it won't make it go away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can there be a wrong sort of love, or does that make it something else. Ive been loved but not in a loving way if that makes any sense. I can also give that sort of love out but it doesnt particulary feel like movie esque love.
I know it is different as I love my kids in a totally different way even when they are a pain in the arse. Same goes for sisters and mum.
So in essence I struggle with romantic love but fine with family love.
Does movie-esque love actually exist though? Surely it's portrayed in such a fantastical way that no relationship can ever live up to it. To be loved and to love is essential for our mental health but it doesn't have to be romantic. We can be healthy and happy without it.
Was just thinking yes, perhaps your first love is like that when your young and fresh until the reality of life kicks in.
We can be happy without romantic love I guess yes. Will there always just be a little something missing though. A tiny craving for it.
Probably. I would be ecstatic if I happened upon someone similar enough to me in order to feel a sense of kinship and belonging, and different enough so I could marvel at and admire their individuality and learn a thing or two, and for them to feel just the same for me. They'd also have to like and respect themselves enough to accept being loved and to give it back freely. I've had enough partners with unresolved baggage and I don't want anymore.
That sounds like a very realistic expectation of what a relationship should be.
Regarding baggage, I think that most people come with theirs, it's how it's dealt with. I guess that they key word there is 'unresolved'!
Of course everyone has a history and the scars to prove it. Some people don't take responsibility for sorting it out though. Nobody can fix that sort of thing for you and ignoring it won't make it go away. "
Isn't it the case that only the one who says they love another knows that to be the case. Others have to take that on trust, or not, as they decide.
Whilst that past may colour how they make such decisions, isn't it the case that love is given, whether accepted or not. We all have baggage and pasts, if they prevent us accepting love given then until we change how we see or share love with another there will always be trust issues to overcome.
If the giver of the love is genuine, then overcoming those issues is something all have to work on so that the "realities" dont result in us lacking trust and rejecting love?
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope, only from family other than that it's none existent.
I've gave up looking for love/relationships never had one never will.
I thought I'd found it but as usual the same thing happens over and over to the point I've abandoned trying for it now. |
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