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By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago
nottinghamshire |
My girlfriend asked me what I was doing on the computer. "I'm looking for cheap flights" I said "I love you" she said, sank to her knees and gave me the best blow job ever. That's strange I thought, she's never shown an interest in darts before |
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By *ottsguy44 OP Man
over a year ago
nottinghamshire |
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 108."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lady goes to the doc after a vigorous gangbanging and says her pussy is a bit sore . Doc tells her to get on the table and takes a look . It looks a bit tender, says the doc, would you like me to numb it for you . Yes please says the lady .
Doc sticks his face in her pussy and goes " Num num num " |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Female midget goes to the doctors and says 'doctor,my pussy hurts every time I walk' The doctor says 'let me have a look' he bends down and takes a look,gets back up and reaches into the drawer and brings out a pair of scissors, the dwarf cries'wtf are you going to do with them!! Doc says'im going to trim the top of your wellies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Female midget goes to the doctors and says 'doctor,my pussy hurts every time I walk' The doctor says 'let me have a look' he bends down and takes a look,gets back up and reaches into the drawer and brings out a pair of scissors, the dwarf cries'wtf are you going to do with them!! Doc says'im going to trim the top of your wellies"
Laughed a lot at that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He said, "Explain the kids!" |
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