FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Honesty about health issues on fab
Honesty about health issues on fab
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Following on from a previous thread regarding swinging and mental health. Do you think or feel you should be told by a potential meet that they have mental health issues or other health issues? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I’d tell someone if I did I think and I’d rather be told. It’s not as easy as that though as I think some people who do have mental health problems either won’t admit it or don’t thing they do have issues. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I'm depressed I don't meet.
My anxiety is fine when I'm with them in person (it's the travelling to them that gets to me.
Not had a panic attack in the presence of a man yet, but they usually come about at night and I don't stay the night often. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only if it might impact on our time together.
On that thread that I think you're referencing, I mentioned my issues with anxiety, depression and PTSD. I've had panic attacks during sex in the past but that hasn't happened for about seven or eight years now. However I always tell potential meets about that and why they've happened in the past. It's heavy stuff and I give them a bit of a get out clause when I tell them about it but people have always understood on here and my mental health hasn't effected that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I do tell people I am bipolar.
I remember a thread ages ago on here of a woman saying openly she had genital warts or herpes and she wanted to be honest about it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If I'm depressed I don't meet.
My anxiety is fine when I'm with them in person (it's the travelling to them that gets to me.
Not had a panic attack in the presence of a man yet, but they usually come about at night and I don't stay the night often. "
Exactly the same as me. I'm currently not meeting as I'm in a depressed episode. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tell people my triggers yes.
When I was recovering from a breakdown I told people. I didn't know how I'd be feeling from one day to the next, if something was gonna set off a bad day or an episode.
I didn't want anyone thinking I was making excuses for anything, so gave them the truth, up to them what they wanted to do with it.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I believe being honest on everything and everything is best."
Me too. Although I think I’m maybe too honest with people sometimes and it’s not always a good thing. I don’t see the point in not being. Unfortunately not everyone is the same  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't necessarily. Depends on the relationship. If it is someone I'm meeting regularly then yes, I would. Sometimes my condition means I'm too exhausted/breathless to meet |
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I met a guy once who had heart problems and i didnt find out until after i was lovid. Also id want to know if someone was an epileptic. I also had a guy go into a diabetic coma on me once and i didnt know he was diabetic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I believe being honest on everything and everything is best.
Me too. Although I think I’m maybe too honest with people sometimes and it’s not always a good thing. I don’t see the point in not being. Unfortunately not everyone is the same "
I don't think there is such a thing as too honest. No matter what, you should be true to yourself and true to the person you are meeting or communicating with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met a guy once who had heart problems and i didnt find out until after i was lovid. Also id want to know if someone was an epileptic. I also had a guy go into a diabetic coma on me once and i didnt know he was diabetic"
I'm changing my answer! Great examples. I'd want to know about these too. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Like anything, whether it be health (mental or physical) related or something else about yourself, I would only think it "necessary" to reveal it if it were either relevant or likely to impact the meet in any way.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you're qualified to make that call as to whether someone is potentially undiagnosed a/b/c/d and can are willing to engage on a "do no harm' basis. Doing so out of concern for their wellbeing, then yes, I don't see a problem.
It could turn into a fulltime job if you take on every person who may be suffering undiagnosed whatever. You're not at work now and have your own health and mental health to maintain.
I tend to open up and be honest, people seem to trust me for that and so are equally honest and open in return. By doing so I've learnt about abilities, conditions, health concerns and once you know more about them and the people with them. It's less and less of a barrier towards meeting them for friendship or fun.
Positive social environments are good for mental health. Mostly. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
No one has a right to know someone else’s health condition. We all have a responsibility to look after our own health and be responsible in mnagaing our own health where it could impact another. That doesn’t mean we have to disclose personal health statuses unless we with to. People that want to know the health status of another person can absolutely can ask. They may or may not be told. They can do with that what they wish. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, I think people are far too open on here. It's just a fuck.
If it’s just a fuck then fair enough but not everyone does that. "
I'm just answering for me. Other people can do whatever they want. |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
I guess it depends on what the illness was and how well I knew the other person. I don’t think people need to put it on their profiles or on the forums. But if they have a regular friend it would be natural to discuss it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, I think people are far too open on here. It's just a fuck.
If it’s just a fuck then fair enough but not everyone does that.
I'm just answering for me. Other people can do whatever they want. "
Absolutely  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.
Even in this day and age?
Absolutely. You saw that other thread! "
I did! I think apart from that thread I've been extremely lucky and had huge support. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, I think people are far too open on here. It's just a fuck.
If it’s just a fuck then fair enough but not everyone does that.
I'm just answering for me. Other people can do whatever they want.
Absolutely "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a heart condition. It generally doesn't impact me in anyway and very unlikely anything would happen. Therefore I don't really feel the need to tell someone |
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"No one has a right to know someone else’s health condition. We all have a responsibility to look after our own health and be responsible in mnagaing our own health where it could impact another. That doesn’t mean we have to disclose personal health statuses unless we with to. People that want to know the health status of another person can absolutely can ask. They may or may not be told. They can do with that what they wish. "
Well said. |
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"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.
Even in this day and age?"
Oh yes. Try telling someone that you’re deaf. Watch them change the way they talk to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I'm depressed I don't meet.
My anxiety is fine when I'm with them in person (it's the travelling to them that gets to me.
Not had a panic attack in the presence of a man yet, but they usually come about at night and I don't stay the night often.
Exactly the same as me. I'm currently not meeting as I'm in a depressed episode. "
It's easy to shut down on here for a while when you aren't feeling up to it. I'll still meet my regular partners as they don't take too much brain work. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always mention my arthritis as that affects certain sexual positions."
I actually tell men I can't wank you for long as I've had both wrists broken and it hurts to wank for too long! Same with blow jobs, I get a locked jaw. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.
Even in this day and age?
Oh yes. Try telling someone that you’re deaf. Watch them change the way they talk to you. "
Would you prefer if they asked if you can lip read? I'd be more conscious about facing them when talking. |
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ok here is my answer ive always told people about my illnes not in the first message but once im comfortable. Ive never once had a negative. I get questions and answer them quite often theyve never met anyone with my illness and i cant blame there ignorance. I have a lot of regular guys who ive been seeing years and they are brilliant with me and sometimes worry. One in particilar worries more when im ill and even travels over to see me when he knows sex isnt on the cards. They love me and accept my illness is part of me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.
Even in this day and age?"
Yes, unfortunately so. Although we are encouraged to become more open and talk there is a long way to go. There is more support accessible for men too but it still isn't widely acknowledged.
I also feel that in the world of sex and relationships it could be used to take advantage of someone or to gain sympathy. Sorry for the cynicism |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"ok here is my answer ive always told people about my illnes not in the first message but once im comfortable. Ive never once had a negative. I get questions and answer them quite often theyve never met anyone with my illness and i cant blame there ignorance. I have a lot of regular guys who ive been seeing years and they are brilliant with me and sometimes worry. One in particilar worries more when im ill and even travels over to see me when he knows sex isnt on the cards. They love me and accept my illness is part of me"
I have this too, if I've not messaged back etc they worry, they then message my couples profile to check with hubby if I'm ok. There are some very sweet people people around and on fab xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always mention my arthritis as that affects certain sexual positions.
Mmmmm, I’m now considering faking conditions in order to not have to work so hard.  "
It works |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be worried about people preying on my perceived vulnerability with that sort of disclosure. I'd only say if it was likely to have an effect on our time together. "
Exactly this!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had an injury last year, mentioned in passing that although I was mostly OK, be a bit gentle with this bit because it hurts grabbing it too hard. I got abuse for being on Fab while defective  "
That is awful! Safe to say there was only 1 person in the defective category |
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"I guess it depends on what the illness was and how well I knew the other person. I don’t think people need to put it on their profiles or on the forums. But if they have a regular friend it would be natural to discuss it. "
This
Its no secret that I'm bipolar, but it doesn't define me and I wouldn't feel the need to bring it up with everyone I chat to or arrange a coffee with, anymore than I would make a point of telling everyone I've a food allergy. If I'm concerned myself that it may become an issue, then I'll say it, but otherwise it wouldn't even occur to me.
If people see this and decide they don't want to meet me, I'm not too worried tbh |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had an injury last year, mentioned in passing that although I was mostly OK, be a bit gentle with this bit because it hurts grabbing it too hard. I got abuse for being on Fab while defective
That is awful! Safe to say there was only 1 person in the defective category "
Exactly  |
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Only if it’s relevant.
I think being open is something personal and reduces stigma, especially ignorant stigma; however unless it’s something that affects or maybbe triggered by sex then it’s not personally something I’d expect someone to be open about with me.
Respect is a big deal when it comes to sex, whether with one offs or regular meets. So if you’re going to respect someone’s body you should respect the mind in that body too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only if it’s relevant.
I think being open is something personal and reduces stigma, especially ignorant stigma; however unless it’s something that affects or maybbe triggered by sex then it’s not personally something I’d expect someone to be open about with me.
Respect is a big deal when it comes to sex, whether with one offs or regular meets. So if you’re going to respect someone’s body you should respect the mind in that body too"
For me it is about mutual respect. The mind is the most important to me. Being totally honest puts me at ease as well. Hopefully the other person as well. |
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"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.
Even in this day and age?
Oh yes. Try telling someone that you’re deaf. Watch them change the way they talk to you.
Would you prefer if they asked if you can lip read? I'd be more conscious about facing them when talking. "
Probably fairer if I clarified. I’m partially deaf. It affects my speech and high/low pitches and the general rule of thumb is if I can’t see you I can’t hear you.
When I mention my deafness it’s usually in an established conversation and for the respondent to suddenly talk to me like they’re talking to someone with severe handicaps is absolutely gutting. Just carry on normally |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.
Even in this day and age?
Oh yes. Try telling someone that you’re deaf. Watch them change the way they talk to you.
Would you prefer if they asked if you can lip read? I'd be more conscious about facing them when talking.
Probably fairer if I clarified. I’m partially deaf. It affects my speech and high/low pitches and the general rule of thumb is if I can’t see you I can’t hear you.
When I mention my deafness it’s usually in an established conversation and for the respondent to suddenly talk to me like they’re talking to someone with severe handicaps is absolutely gutting. Just carry on normally "
I think it'd lead to some very funny moments with me initially, because I'd forget.. talk to you from other side of the room or from the loo (classy me). 5min conversation without realising you can't hear me. Hazard of waffling on I guess. happens with most non-deaf people who talk to me too.. they just wander off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met a guy once who had heart problems and i didnt find out until after i was lovid. Also id want to know if someone was an epileptic. I also had a guy go into a diabetic coma on me once and i didnt know he was diabetic"
That’s horrendous!! That’s right up there to tell someone!! |
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"Yes I’d tell someone if I did I think and I’d rather be told. It’s not as easy as that though as I think some people who do have mental health problems either won’t admit it or don’t thing they do have issues. "
This is very true!
I’ve come across quite a few people on fab who are clearly severely emotionally fucked up - but unfortunately haven’t found out until it was too late and the damage had been done! |
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"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.
Even in this day and age?
Oh yes. Try telling someone that you’re deaf. Watch them change the way they talk to you.
Would you prefer if they asked if you can lip read? I'd be more conscious about facing them when talking.
Probably fairer if I clarified. I’m partially deaf. It affects my speech and high/low pitches and the general rule of thumb is if I can’t see you I can’t hear you.
When I mention my deafness it’s usually in an established conversation and for the respondent to suddenly talk to me like they’re talking to someone with severe handicaps is absolutely gutting. Just carry on normally
I think it'd lead to some very funny moments with me initially, because I'd forget.. talk to you from other side of the room or from the loo (classy me). 5min conversation without realising you can't hear me. Hazard of waffling on I guess. happens with most non-deaf people who talk to me too.. they just wander off "
This happens all the time. You chat away and I’m in ignorant bliss. It does make for funny moments. ‘If it’s important text me’ is a rule I often make. |
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"also i have a habit of just fucking off and ghosting people so i think they have a right to no this is going to happen and i will be back when im ready"
I wish more people were as honest as this. At least your friends know its a possibility and why. I'm usually left wondering what 'I' did wrong in that situation and tormenting myself analysing conversations, etc., to try to figure out why someone just decided to cut me out, particularly if everything has been going great and it all suddenly stops. |
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"also i have a habit of just fucking off and ghosting people so i think they have a right to no this is going to happen and i will be back when im ready
I wish more people were as honest as this. At least your friends know its a possibility and why. I'm usually left wondering what 'I' did wrong in that situation and tormenting myself analysing conversations, etc., to try to figure out why someone just decided to cut me out, particularly if everything has been going great and it all suddenly stops. "
i agree i can be chatting away one minute then next im gone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.
Even in this day and age?
Oh yes. Try telling someone that you’re deaf. Watch them change the way they talk to you.
Would you prefer if they asked if you can lip read? I'd be more conscious about facing them when talking.
Probably fairer if I clarified. I’m partially deaf. It affects my speech and high/low pitches and the general rule of thumb is if I can’t see you I can’t hear you.
When I mention my deafness it’s usually in an established conversation and for the respondent to suddenly talk to me like they’re talking to someone with severe handicaps is absolutely gutting. Just carry on normally
I think it'd lead to some very funny moments with me initially, because I'd forget.. talk to you from other side of the room or from the loo (classy me). 5min conversation without realising you can't hear me. Hazard of waffling on I guess. happens with most non-deaf people who talk to me too.. they just wander off
This happens all the time. You chat away and I’m in ignorant bliss. It does make for funny moments. ‘If it’s important text me’ is a rule I often make. "
That makes sense. I don't know any deaf people, but I'd like to  So long as they accept my non-deaf stupidity I learn quick. |
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We had a picture deleted for showing my boyfriends disability (we wanted to be open about it) it was classed as too rude for this site. I keep everything to myself unless i meet in person now, fuck the people who reported someone for being disabled (not literally unless up the ass with something spiky). |
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"I had an injury last year, mentioned in passing that although I was mostly OK, be a bit gentle with this bit because it hurts grabbing it too hard. I got abuse for being on Fab while defective
That is awful! Safe to say there was only 1 person in the defective category
Exactly "
It was a group meet, and no one had any difficulties avoiding the sore spot. It's hardly an imposition ffs. |
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Other sites have had no problem with the pic or our disabilities.
Personally i would consider a lot of trust needed to make yourself vulnerable anyway so it's probably better being 'discreet' on here anyway. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
I have issues but I don't divulge them to people I'm meeting as it makes no difference to the time we spend together. If we become friends I would though.
I'd like to be told of anything like epilepsy just in case something happened. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Other sites have had no problem with the pic or our disabilities.
Personally i would consider a lot of trust needed to make yourself vulnerable anyway so it's probably better being 'discreet' on here anyway."
I don’t see the need to put personal stuff on my profile anyway. As long as you’re honest with anyone you’re thinking of meeting I think that’s enough. I don’t really want the rest of fab knowing anything about me at all to be honest. |
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"Following on from a previous thread regarding swinging and mental health. Do you think or feel you should be told by a potential meet that they have mental health issues or other health issues? "
In general no but if its extreme or could put others in danger then yes. Mental health is a broad spectrum so it very much depends on how it affects them and others. |
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"Other sites have had no problem with the pic or our disabilities.
Personally i would consider a lot of trust needed to make yourself vulnerable anyway so it's probably better being 'discreet' on here anyway.
I don’t see the need to put personal stuff on my profile anyway. As long as you’re honest with anyone you’re thinking of meeting I think that’s enough. I don’t really want the rest of fab knowing anything about me at all to be honest. "
He uses aides so we wanted to be upfront about that. But yeah i pretty much deleted my profile text and using other sites to meet people or meeting on my own from here. |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"I had an injury last year, mentioned in passing that although I was mostly OK, be a bit gentle with this bit because it hurts grabbing it too hard. I got abuse for being on Fab while defective "
Wtf?
Nobody should "have to" disclose anything they are uncomfortable with, although it seems to be the norm that you give a new partner the courtesy of telling them anything you think could have any ramifications. Only the individual knows their conditions and any stressors/triggers, and it is polite to let the other party know if this could cause issue..
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"We had a picture deleted for showing my boyfriends disability (we wanted to be open about it) it was classed as too rude for this site. I keep everything to myself unless i meet in person now, fuck the people who reported someone for being disabled (not literally unless up the ass with something spiky)."
On my previous profile I arrived for a meet to discover she had neglected to say anything about being wheelchair bound and with numerous other ailments. The crane into the hospital bed in the living room was not the most enticing of boudoir locations.. |
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"We had a picture deleted for showing my boyfriends disability (we wanted to be open about it) it was classed as too rude for this site. I keep everything to myself unless i meet in person now, fuck the people who reported someone for being disabled (not literally unless up the ass with something spiky).
On my previous profile I arrived for a meet to discover she had neglected to say anything about being wheelchair bound and with numerous other ailments. The crane into the hospital bed in the living room was not the most enticing of boudoir locations.."
But some people wouldn't mind that, maybe they had an ex or now partner who is disabled and uses those aides and sex would be normal for them with this woman. Maybe there's a lot of people not participating in swinging because their disability is not preprsented as normal on the scene (no clubs have had a problem with us btw and been encouraging).
It's hard really, you don't want to be fetishized for your disability but you also don't wanna freak people out either.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met a guy once who had heart problems and i didnt find out until after i was lovid. Also id want to know if someone was an epileptic. I also had a guy go into a diabetic coma on me once and i didnt know he was diabetic"
Damn woman who is you fucking!? |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"We had a picture deleted for showing my boyfriends disability (we wanted to be open about it) it was classed as too rude for this site. I keep everything to myself unless i meet in person now, fuck the people who reported someone for being disabled (not literally unless up the ass with something spiky).
On my previous profile I arrived for a meet to discover she had neglected to say anything about being wheelchair bound and with numerous other ailments. The crane into the hospital bed in the living room was not the most enticing of boudoir locations..
But some people wouldn't mind that, maybe they had an ex or now partner who is disabled and uses those aides and sex would be normal for them with this woman. Maybe there's a lot of people not participating in swinging because their disability is not preprsented as normal on the scene (no clubs have had a problem with us btw and been encouraging).
It's hard really, you don't want to be fetishized for your disability but you also don't wanna freak people out either.
"
From my point of view I would have liked to have known that someone I was going to meet had only very limited mobility. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be quite annoyed if someone keeled over mid fuck due to an undisclosed heart condition "
This might be a bit dramatic but if someone is in your home and has an episode of illness or something then it'd be great if you were prepared. If it's a mental health issue an episode that gets out of control could cause problems with neighbours work etc. |
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"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.
Even in this day and age?
Oh yes. Try telling someone that you’re deaf. Watch them change the way they talk to you.
Would you prefer if they asked if you can lip read? I'd be more conscious about facing them when talking.
Probably fairer if I clarified. I’m partially deaf. It affects my speech and high/low pitches and the general rule of thumb is if I can’t see you I can’t hear you.
When I mention my deafness it’s usually in an established conversation and for the respondent to suddenly talk to me like they’re talking to someone with severe handicaps is absolutely gutting. Just carry on normally "
Tried to pm you about this x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I’d tell someone if I did I think and I’d rather be told. It’s not as easy as that though as I think some people who do have mental health problems either won’t admit it or don’t thing they do have issues. "
wow I feel like I’m on there verge of falling into a downward spiral of depression something that I’ve never suffered from before and I’m trying so hard not to slip....trying to keep my head above water and it’s so hard.....feels like I’m fighting losing battle....I know there are ppl out there that are in a worse situation than me.....I don’t think it’s embarrassing to admit that I’m struggling I just want someone to hear me
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, I think people are far too open on here. It's just a fuck.
"
Same. I have to mention my wheelchair cos there's no getting away from it (literally) but that's all I do say unless I get any relevant questions.
If a potential meet started telling me their medical history I'd be put off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a ingrowing toenail which can effect my mental health if not properly manicured.Symptoms may include distraction,anxiety, misunderstanding or worse of all blood poisoning.If I cannot find my clippers on those days I may pull out of meets as one brush against soft flesh is likely to send me into paroxysms of pain and not pleasure. Can someone advise me as this is tearing my life apart as well as my toe on a bad day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No one has a right to know someone else’s health condition. We all have a responsibility to look after our own health and be responsible in mnagaing our own health where it could impact another. That doesn’t mean we have to disclose personal health statuses unless we with to. People that want to know the health status of another person can absolutely can ask. They may or may not be told. They can do with that what they wish. "
some ppl are not as strong as others....how 1 person deals with a situation another person deals with it completely different because we’re not all built the same....example some ppl are horrified at the site of spiders insects where another person wouldn’t bat an eyelid.....myself personally I find it helps to talk and to talk to a complete stranger not someone I know
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, I think people are far too open on here. It's just a fuck.
Same. I have to mention my wheelchair cos there's no getting away from it (literally) but that's all I do say unless I get any relevant questions.
If a potential meet started telling me their medical history I'd be put off."
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"No one has a right to know someone else’s health condition. We all have a responsibility to look after our own health and be responsible in mnagaing our own health where it could impact another. That doesn’t mean we have to disclose personal health statuses unless we with to. People that want to know the health status of another person can absolutely can ask. They may or may not be told. They can do with that what they wish. some ppl are not as strong as others....how 1 person deals with a situation another person deals with it completely different because we’re not all built the same....example some ppl are horrified at the site of spiders insects where another person wouldn’t bat an eyelid.....myself personally I find it helps to talk and to talk to a complete stranger not someone I know "
Absolutely, my post doesn’t state you can’t disclose if you would like to or find it helpful to - quite the opposite. Simply, no one *has* to disclose and no one has the right to expect or demand they do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a ingrowing toenail which can effect my mental health if not properly manicured.Symptoms may include distraction,anxiety, misunderstanding or worse of all blood poisoning.If I cannot find my clippers on those days I may pull out of meets as one brush against soft flesh is likely to send me into paroxysms of pain and not pleasure. Can someone advise me as this is tearing my life apart as well as my toe on a bad day."
Humour and mental health.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd rather know about anything that could be a problem during a meet. If there was the slightest chance someone could take ill or become aggressive or violent, I need to know beforehand so I can decide if I actually want to meet them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No one has a right to know someone else’s health condition. We all have a responsibility to look after our own health and be responsible in mnagaing our own health where it could impact another. That doesn’t mean we have to disclose personal health statuses unless we with to. People that want to know the health status of another person can absolutely can ask. They may or may not be told. They can do with that what they wish. some ppl are not as strong as others....how 1 person deals with a situation another person deals with it completely different because we’re not all built the same....example some ppl are horrified at the site of spiders insects where another person wouldn’t bat an eyelid.....myself personally I find it helps to talk and to talk to a complete stranger not someone I know
Absolutely, my post doesn’t state you can’t disclose if you would like to or find it helpful to - quite the opposite. Simply, no one *has* to disclose and no one has the right to expect or demand they do. "
nope it’s simply up to the individual and how comfortable they are about opening up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My preference meeting wise is not doing one off meets. So whilst getting to know someone I would like to think if there was a medical / mental health condition that could impact on or time together, that I would be told.
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"I always mention my arthritis as that affects certain sexual positions.
I actually tell men I can't wank you for long as I've had both wrists broken and it hurts to wank for too long! Same with blow jobs, I get a locked jaw. "
Ooh I think I’ve the same condition as you, life’s a bummer! just hope the guys are understanding |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
I wouldn’t share anything unless I felt it could have a direct impact on a meet. Some things have to be private surely.
If it’s a regular meet, I suppose over time you naturally get to know more about each other. |
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Only if it's pertinent to the situation. If it's a long term fwb then best to be discussed I think.
I have type 1 diabetes so would give a wee heads up on some things and I have a glucose monitor on my arm and an insulin pump (although I've taken that off for clubs and parties) so explain those a bit. Only because they're obvious things to see. I don't go in to hypos etc as my husband is with me and he knows what to look for and do if needed. If I were ever alone then I'd need to explain that.
V x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No one has a right to know someone else’s health condition. We all have a responsibility to look after our own health and be responsible in mnagaing our own health where it could impact another. That doesn’t mean we have to disclose personal health statuses unless we with to. People that want to know the health status of another person can absolutely can ask. They may or may not be told. They can do with that what they wish. some ppl are not as strong as others....how 1 person deals with a situation another person deals with it completely different because we’re not all built the same....example some ppl are horrified at the site of spiders insects where another person wouldn’t bat an eyelid.....myself personally I find it helps to talk and to talk to a complete stranger not someone I know
Absolutely, my post doesn’t state you can’t disclose if you would like to or find it helpful to - quite the opposite. Simply, no one *has* to disclose and no one has the right to expect or demand they do. "
Absolutely agree |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Only if it's pertinent to the situation. If it's a long term fwb then best to be discussed I think.
I have type 1 diabetes so would give a wee heads up on some things and I have a glucose monitor on my arm and an insulin pump (although I've taken that off for clubs and parties) so explain those a bit. Only because they're obvious things to see. I don't go in to hypos etc as my husband is with me and he knows what to look for and do if needed. If I were ever alone then I'd need to explain that.
V x"
My bag is the reason I don't go to clubs where you have to wear a towel/be naked. I have a support belt thingy, but I definitely don't feel comfortable wandering around like that. |
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You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.
Health issues such as STD, yes disclose, because you need to be responsible re passing it on. Diabetes which is performance related, or epelipcy, heart conditions, asthma there are obvious H&S issues.
Mental, I wouldn't. I don't know anyone that's not had a mental issue/ event in their life, but I wouldn't shout about it. I personally don't want to have a label and be seen as a victim. |
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"Only if it's pertinent to the situation. If it's a long term fwb then best to be discussed I think.
I have type 1 diabetes so would give a wee heads up on some things and I have a glucose monitor on my arm and an insulin pump (although I've taken that off for clubs and parties) so explain those a bit. Only because they're obvious things to see. I don't go in to hypos etc as my husband is with me and he knows what to look for and do if needed. If I were ever alone then I'd need to explain that.
V x
My bag is the reason I don't go to clubs where you have to wear a towel/be naked. I have a support belt thingy, but I definitely don't feel comfortable wandering around like that. "
My sister had the bag but then had it reversed. I can understand where your coming from x |
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"You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.
Health issues such as STD, yes disclose, because you need to be responsible re passing it on. Diabetes which is performance related, or epelipcy, heart conditions, asthma there are obvious H&S issues.
Mental, I wouldn't. I don't know anyone that's not had a mental issue/ event in their life, but I wouldn't shout about it. I personally don't want to have a label and be seen as a victim."
stds is a good one
I wonder if some people would be happy to contract an undiagnosed sti |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I always mention my arthritis as that affects certain sexual positions.
Mmmmm, I’m now considering faking conditions in order to not have to work so hard. "
I still work hard; I just can't have my legs pulled wide apart, or squat, or put my leg back over my head. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.
Health issues such as STD, yes disclose, because you need to be responsible re passing it on. Diabetes which is performance related, or epelipcy, heart conditions, asthma there are obvious H&S issues.
Mental, I wouldn't. I don't know anyone that's not had a mental issue/ event in their life, but I wouldn't shout about it. I personally don't want to have a label and be seen as a victim."
Who sounds like they're proud to have a label? |
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"You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.
Health issues such as STD, yes disclose, because you need to be responsible re passing it on. Diabetes which is performance related, or epelipcy, heart conditions, asthma there are obvious H&S issues.
Mental, I wouldn't. I don't know anyone that's not had a mental issue/ event in their life, but I wouldn't shout about it. I personally don't want to have a label and be seen as a victim.stds is a good one
I wonder if some people would be happy to contract an undiagnosed sti"
undisclosed not undiagnosed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Following on from a previous thread regarding swinging and mental health. Do you think or feel you should be told by a potential meet that they have mental health issues or other health issues? "
I definitely think it’s a good idea, some people don’t understand mental health in any form and that can cause issues for both or all involved.
I don’t think it’s anything to feel ashamed of and hopefully it would help narrow down the messages from the people that actually want to treat you like a human and not a piece of meat you can fuck... this goes for both men and women btw |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.
Health issues such as STD, yes disclose, because you need to be responsible re passing it on. Diabetes which is performance related, or epelipcy, heart conditions, asthma there are obvious H&S issues.
Mental, I wouldn't. I don't know anyone that's not had a mental issue/ event in their life, but I wouldn't shout about it. I personally don't want to have a label and be seen as a victim.stds is a good one
I wonder if some people would be happy to contract an undiagnosed stiundisclosed not undiagnosed"
How many people would meet knowing they had an sti? |
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"You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.
Health issues such as STD, yes disclose, because you need to be responsible re passing it on. Diabetes which is performance related, or epelipcy, heart conditions, asthma there are obvious H&S issues.
Mental, I wouldn't. I don't know anyone that's not had a mental issue/ event in their life, but I wouldn't shout about it. I personally don't want to have a label and be seen as a victim.stds is a good one
I wonder if some people would be happy to contract an undiagnosed stiundisclosed not undiagnosed
How many people would meet knowing they had an sti?"
people with genital warts |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I always mention my arthritis as that affects certain sexual positions.
Mmmmm, I’m now considering faking conditions in order to not have to work so hard.
I still work hard; I just can't have my legs pulled wide apart, or squat, or put my leg back over my head."
Certainly didn’t mean *you* don’t work hard! It just gave me a naughty idea. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.
Health issues such as STD, yes disclose, because you need to be responsible re passing it on. Diabetes which is performance related, or epelipcy, heart conditions, asthma there are obvious H&S issues.
Mental, I wouldn't. I don't know anyone that's not had a mental issue/ event in their life, but I wouldn't shout about it. I personally don't want to have a label and be seen as a victim.stds is a good one
I wonder if some people would be happy to contract an undiagnosed stiundisclosed not undiagnosed
How many people would meet knowing they had an sti?"
Exactly - this is where in my comment I referred to managing your own health and it’s potential to have impact on others.
Someone that thinks exposing someone else to contracting an infectious STI through risky sex is alright is unlikely to be someone thinking of others enough to disclose so it’s really a moot point. |
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"You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.
Health issues such as STD, yes disclose, because you need to be responsible re passing it on. Diabetes which is performance related, or epelipcy, heart conditions, asthma there are obvious H&S issues.
Mental, I wouldn't. I don't know anyone that's not had a mental issue/ event in their life, but I wouldn't shout about it. I personally don't want to have a label and be seen as a victim.stds is a good one
I wonder if some people would be happy to contract an undiagnosed stiundisclosed not undiagnosed
How many people would meet knowing they had an sti?
Exactly - this is where in my comment I referred to managing your own health and it’s potential to have impact on others.
Someone that thinks exposing someone else to contracting an infectious STI through risky sex is alright is unlikely to be someone thinking of others enough to disclose so it’s really a moot point. "
would you be happy for someone to go into a diabetic coma or have an epileptic seizure without any prior warning |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's necessary only if it's likely to have a bearing on a meeting or relationship. Not everything does.
However, as you get to know someone more things often get discussed because of trust and friendship. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.
Health issues such as STD, yes disclose, because you need to be responsible re passing it on. Diabetes which is performance related, or epelipcy, heart conditions, asthma there are obvious H&S issues.
Mental, I wouldn't. I don't know anyone that's not had a mental issue/ event in their life, but I wouldn't shout about it. I personally don't want to have a label and be seen as a victim.stds is a good one
I wonder if some people would be happy to contract an undiagnosed stiundisclosed not undiagnosed
How many people would meet knowing they had an sti?
Exactly - this is where in my comment I referred to managing your own health and it’s potential to have impact on others.
Someone that thinks exposing someone else to contracting an infectious STI through risky sex is alright is unlikely to be someone thinking of others enough to disclose so it’s really a moot point. would you be happy for someone to go into a diabetic coma or have an epileptic seizure without any prior warning"
That doesn’t correlate with what I’m saying. I don’t have a right to know someone’s health conditions just because I might prefer them to tell me. That doesn’t mean I’d be happy for someone to have a diabetic coma or epileptic fit. I’d help someone if having a medical emergency - I do so regularly at work - it doesn’t give me the right to know, however angry I might be as a response (I wouldn’t be angry to be honest). I hope someone would feel comfortable to tell me, it would also allow me to be better able to assist - but that doesn’t mean they are obliged to tell me, nor should it ever. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I believe in certain instances they should tell me, not necessarily that they're obliged to tell me.
Out of interest, are there any medical conditions that they are required to tell you? |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I believe in certain instances they should tell me, not necessarily that they're obliged to tell me.
Out of interest, are there any medical conditions that they are required to tell you? "
Well a GP for example would override confidentiality of a patient if there was potential of a serious communicable diseases or serious crime. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I believe in certain instances they should tell me, not necessarily that they're obliged to tell me.
Out of interest, are there any medical conditions that they are required to tell you?
Well a GP for example would override confidentiality of a patient if there was potential of a serious communicable diseases or serious crime."
Fair enough. Is the individual obligated to disclose the information at all? |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
If you're having protected sex there's no law saying you must tell your partners that you have HIV, for example.
However, there’s a risk of being prosecuted for reckless transmission of HIV if you had sex with someone who didn’t know you had HIV, you knew you had it and how it can be transmitted and you had unprotected sex, and transmitted it to them. |
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"If you're having protected sex there's no law saying you must tell your partners that you have HIV, for example.
However, there’s a risk of being prosecuted for reckless transmission of HIV if you had sex with someone who didn’t know you had HIV, you knew you had it and how it can be transmitted and you had unprotected sex, and transmitted it to them. "
There was an older guy on here in his 60s he had that he was hiv positive on his profile and he was looking for bi bareback meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you're having protected sex there's no law saying you must tell your partners that you have HIV, for example.
However, there’s a risk of being prosecuted for reckless transmission of HIV if you had sex with someone who didn’t know you had HIV, you knew you had it and how it can be transmitted and you had unprotected sex, and transmitted it to them.
There was an older guy on here in his 60s he had that he was hiv positive on his profile and he was looking for bi bareback meets. "
I'd assume if he disclosed that information (and potential meets had the capacity to understand), he wouldn't be prosecuted. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"If you're having protected sex there's no law saying you must tell your partners that you have HIV, for example.
However, there’s a risk of being prosecuted for reckless transmission of HIV if you had sex with someone who didn’t know you had HIV, you knew you had it and how it can be transmitted and you had unprotected sex, and transmitted it to them. There was an older guy on here in his 60s he had that he was hiv positive on his profile and he was looking for bi bareback meets. "
And if someone consents to do that with him and contracts HIV they did so knowingly, and he is not guilty of anything. They’re both entitled to make reckless consensual choices. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you're having protected sex there's no law saying you must tell your partners that you have HIV, for example.
However, there’s a risk of being prosecuted for reckless transmission of HIV if you had sex with someone who didn’t know you had HIV, you knew you had it and how it can be transmitted and you had unprotected sex, and transmitted it to them. There was an older guy on here in his 60s he had that he was hiv positive on his profile and he was looking for bi bareback meets.
And if someone consents to do that with him and contracts HIV they did so knowingly, and he is not guilty of anything. They’re both entitled to make reckless consensual choices. "
In that case I'd agree, but would it not depend on the severity of the reckless choice? |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"If you're having protected sex there's no law saying you must tell your partners that you have HIV, for example.
However, there’s a risk of being prosecuted for reckless transmission of HIV if you had sex with someone who didn’t know you had HIV, you knew you had it and how it can be transmitted and you had unprotected sex, and transmitted it to them. There was an older guy on here in his 60s he had that he was hiv positive on his profile and he was looking for bi bareback meets.
And if someone consents to do that with him and contracts HIV they did so knowingly, and he is not guilty of anything. They’re both entitled to make reckless consensual choices.
In that case I'd agree, but would it not depend on the severity of the reckless choice? "
Not sure I follow your question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you're having protected sex there's no law saying you must tell your partners that you have HIV, for example.
However, there’s a risk of being prosecuted for reckless transmission of HIV if you had sex with someone who didn’t know you had HIV, you knew you had it and how it can be transmitted and you had unprotected sex, and transmitted it to them. There was an older guy on here in his 60s he had that he was hiv positive on his profile and he was looking for bi bareback meets.
And if someone consents to do that with him and contracts HIV they did so knowingly, and he is not guilty of anything. They’re both entitled to make reckless consensual choices.
In that case I'd agree, but would it not depend on the severity of the reckless choice?
Not sure I follow your question."
If the outcome of the reckless choice was particularly severe. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"If you're having protected sex there's no law saying you must tell your partners that you have HIV, for example.
However, there’s a risk of being prosecuted for reckless transmission of HIV if you had sex with someone who didn’t know you had HIV, you knew you had it and how it can be transmitted and you had unprotected sex, and transmitted it to them. There was an older guy on here in his 60s he had that he was hiv positive on his profile and he was looking for bi bareback meets.
And if someone consents to do that with him and contracts HIV they did so knowingly, and he is not guilty of anything. They’re both entitled to make reckless consensual choices.
In that case I'd agree, but would it not depend on the severity of the reckless choice?
Not sure I follow your question.
If the outcome of the reckless choice was particularly severe. "
Then what?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe. "
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful. |
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"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful. "
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful. "
I’d need an example to mull over. Typically the law requires mens rea and actus reus, so intent is important. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder. "
I remember that one. Wasn't there another guy who wanted his penis removed?
I know these are at the very extreme end of the spectrum! |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder. "
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume. |
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"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume."
Yes, I suppose so. Although as he volunteered would it like an assisted suicide/manslaughter ?
Sorry to go off topic, it was the concent to reckless choices that reminded me of it. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.
Yes, I suppose so. Although as he volunteered would it like an assisted suicide/manslaughter ?
Sorry to go off topic, it was the concent to reckless choices that reminded me of it. "
Ah but being killed is not something you can legally give consent to. Thus legally it would be murder, not manslaughter, I believe. I think the German chap was convicted of manslaughter initially as their was evidence of the consent but was later tried and prosecuted for murder. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.
Yes, I suppose so. Although as he volunteered would it like an assisted suicide/manslaughter ?
Sorry to go off topic, it was the concent to reckless choices that reminded me of it.
Ah but being killed is not something you can legally give consent to. Thus legally it would be murder, not manslaughter, I believe. I think the German chap was convicted of manslaughter initially as their was evidence of the consent but was later tried and prosecuted for murder. "
Dammit *there |
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"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.
Yes, I suppose so. Although as he volunteered would it like an assisted suicide/manslaughter ?
Sorry to go off topic, it was the concent to reckless choices that reminded me of it.
Ah but being killed is not something you can legally give consent to. Thus legally it would be murder, not manslaughter, I believe. I think the German chap was convicted of manslaughter initially as their was evidence of the consent but was later tried and prosecuted for murder.
Dammit *there"
I wonder if he got extra time for cannibalism? |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.
Yes, I suppose so. Although as he volunteered would it like an assisted suicide/manslaughter ?
Sorry to go off topic, it was the concent to reckless choices that reminded me of it.
Ah but being killed is not something you can legally give consent to. Thus legally it would be murder, not manslaughter, I believe. I think the German chap was convicted of manslaughter initially as their was evidence of the consent but was later tried and prosecuted for murder.
Dammit *there
I wonder if he got extra time for cannibalism? "
Don’t think there’s actually a law against it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume."
I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway? |
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"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.
Yes, I suppose so. Although as he volunteered would it like an assisted suicide/manslaughter ?
Sorry to go off topic, it was the concent to reckless choices that reminded me of it.
Ah but being killed is not something you can legally give consent to. Thus legally it would be murder, not manslaughter, I believe. I think the German chap was convicted of manslaughter initially as their was evidence of the consent but was later tried and prosecuted for murder.
Dammit *there
I wonder if he got extra time for cannibalism?
Don’t think there’s actually a law against it! "
There’s a law in Texas that you can’t put ice cream in your back pocket but cannibalism is fine ?! Mad |
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"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.
I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway? "
Do you mean by transmission of a disease ? Or by physical harm ? |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.
I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway? "
That’s manslaughter. But my earlier comment about entitled to make reckless choices was about consent and people being entitled to live their lives how they choose (if legal mental capacity is there). It doesn’t mean someone wouldn’t be prosecuted if they broke a law. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.
I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway?
Do you mean by transmission of a disease ? Or by physical harm ? "
Physical harm. |
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"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.
I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway?
That’s manslaughter. But my earlier comment about entitled to make reckless choices was about consent and people being entitled to live their lives how they choose (if legal mental capacity is there). It doesn’t mean someone wouldn’t be prosecuted if they broke a law."
But if someone knowingly made reckless choices wouldn’t their mental health be questioned due to that ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I worked in nental health for many years, the us and them thing was never my thing. My late sister had mental health issues, I can never be in judgement of another person, though its a very great thing.#
*sobbing...but I know what is, it is, and it is...
its a sad reasoning that works x |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.
Yes, I suppose so. Although as he volunteered would it like an assisted suicide/manslaughter ?
Sorry to go off topic, it was the concent to reckless choices that reminded me of it.
Ah but being killed is not something you can legally give consent to. Thus legally it would be murder, not manslaughter, I believe. I think the German chap was convicted of manslaughter initially as their was evidence of the consent but was later tried and prosecuted for murder.
Dammit *there
I wonder if he got extra time for cannibalism?
Don’t think there’s actually a law against it!
There’s a law in Texas that you can’t put ice cream in your back pocket but cannibalism is fine ?! Mad "
I can’t attest to it not being illegal in every US state, in England and Germany I believe it isn’t illegal - you would undoubtedly be falling foul of a law though - grievous bodily harm or some such variant or murder etc depending on the outcome. Just no specific law on cannibalism per se. |
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"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.
I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway?
Do you mean by transmission of a disease ? Or by physical harm ?
Physical harm. "
Like a consensual choking gone wrong type thing ? |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.
I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway?
That’s manslaughter. But my earlier comment about entitled to make reckless choices was about consent and people being entitled to live their lives how they choose (if legal mental capacity is there). It doesn’t mean someone wouldn’t be prosecuted if they broke a law.
But if someone knowingly made reckless choices wouldn’t their mental health be questioned due to that ? "
It very much could be, yes. Capacity could be looked at, but someone with capacity has the right to live their life how they would like whatever anyone else thinks, as long as it’s within the law. I’m not suggesting for one minute that there shouldn’t be a safeguarding or similar concern if someone appears to be putting themselves or others at risk of harm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.
I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway?
Do you mean by transmission of a disease ? Or by physical harm ?
Physical harm.
Like a consensual choking gone wrong type thing ? "
Yes or something that lead to permanent scarring. I'm interested to know where the law stands on that. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.
I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway?
Do you mean by transmission of a disease ? Or by physical harm ?
Physical harm.
Like a consensual choking gone wrong type thing ?
Yes or something that lead to permanent scarring. I'm interested to know where the law stands on that. "
Depends what you were charging someone with, again there’d typically be the mens rea and actus reus needed. |
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"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.
I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway?
Do you mean by transmission of a disease ? Or by physical harm ?
Physical harm.
Like a consensual choking gone wrong type thing ?
Yes or something that lead to permanent scarring. I'm interested to know where the law stands on that. "
I think if entering into play that has the potential for harm some people have consent forms and disclaimers to protect both parties , not spontaneous and probably over the top for average kinksters but I can see why they have a place. |
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"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.
That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.
Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.
Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.
I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway?
Do you mean by transmission of a disease ? Or by physical harm ?
Physical harm.
Like a consensual choking gone wrong type thing ?
Yes or something that lead to permanent scarring. I'm interested to know where the law stands on that.
Depends what you were charging someone with, again there’d typically be the mens rea and actus reus needed."
what does that mean |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"
Depends what you were charging someone with, again there’d typically be the mens rea and actus reus needed.what does that mean"
Actus reus means the "guilty act" which, when proved beyond a reasonable doubt in combination with the mens rea, "guilty mind", produces criminal liability. |
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I don't expect to be fully informed of potential meets health conditions, unlike a health insurer. Many aspects of health are highly personal and not well understood by the general population - the meet might be taken solely to educate the standard level of ignorance that we have.
It's useful to inform a potential meet if there's something that could reasonably involve them. This still may not mean a full diagnosis but an intelligible overview of pertinent details, such a 'I have this x and it might mean y, whilst we're meeting' This makes others informed, letting them decide to meet with those circumstances. If something is of very great insignificance, not particularly likely to occur and is widespread, I'd probably not expect to be informed.
Mental health issues are unfortunate and tough for many people to endure and try to cope with. I'd hope that they didn't exacerbate their problem through pressure to out themselves to someone they don't know, such as to me before a meet.
Probably better to think in terms of the symptoms and not the condition, where someone like me is involved. There's limited, to no right to know, nor to expect that people who we engage with in life are in full good health. There's just a thoughtful consideration for others, where they may be subject to some impact, beyond investing time etc for a meet. |
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"Only if it's pertinent to the situation. If it's a long term fwb then best to be discussed I think.
I have type 1 diabetes so would give a wee heads up on some things and I have a glucose monitor on my arm and an insulin pump (although I've taken that off for clubs and parties) so explain those a bit. Only because they're obvious things to see. I don't go in to hypos etc as my husband is with me and he knows what to look for and do if needed. If I were ever alone then I'd need to explain that.
V x
My bag is the reason I don't go to clubs where you have to wear a towel/be naked. I have a support belt thingy, but I definitely don't feel comfortable wandering around like that. "
Have you tried calling the club beforehand? We found the first club we went to were very supportive of my partner and made us feel at ease (we were already there by then and i didn't realise my partner was worried about anything until he asked me to talk to the staff and see if they were ok with him), they even said if anyone said anything about his condition to tell the staff and they would deal with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like a few others on here I’d disclose anything likely to have an impact or potential impact on my meet, and likewise would prefer to know the samecin return. Some good examples above (epilepsy, diabetic comas etc)
But on a casual sex site I don’t need to know your full medical history if it’s not going to impact our meet. Mental health issue? Will it (potentially) impact our meet .. if yes, tell me about it so I’m well informed to handle it should anything arise. If no, I don’t need to know! |
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