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Anxiety at work
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a breakdown at work about 6 years ago. I went to Mindfulness therapy. Not for everyone but it is the best thing that has happened to me.
But for you. Can you recall when this started or if there is a trigger for it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Change your job!! Easier said than done but if it's effecting your health it's a must! Get well soon mate.  "
Running a2ay generally won't help. Need to know why happening first. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had a breakdown at work about 6 years ago. I went to Mindfulness therapy. Not for everyone but it is the best thing that has happened to me.
But for you. Can you recall when this started or if there is a trigger for it?"
it’s one particular guy. He’s just so abrupt and hateful. The general office feeling is that he is a bully. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Change your job!! Easier said than done but if it's effecting your health it's a must! Get well soon mate.
Running a2ay generally won't help. Need to know why happening first."
He said it's due to work. Obviously his work is giving him anxiety... change your work or anything else that's giving you anxeity. People tend to over think to much. If you don't like something or a situation... walk away from it and don't look back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, many years ago due to a poor manager.
My advice is look at it objectively and evaluate if that stress is an unavoidable part of the job or if it's to do with something that could/should be changed.
If the latter, assuming (and hoping) you're a member of trade union, speak to your local rep for advice.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a breakdown at work about 6 years ago. I went to Mindfulness therapy. Not for everyone but it is the best thing that has happened to me.
But for you. Can you recall when this started or if there is a trigger for it? it’s one particular guy. He’s just so abrupt and hateful. The general office feeling is that he is a bully. "
That's an easy one... confront him! Call him out, tell him his attitude stinksand leave you the fuck alone or you'll take it as a personal attack and defend yourself. Fucking hate bullies I do!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a breakdown at work about 6 years ago. I went to Mindfulness therapy. Not for everyone but it is the best thing that has happened to me.
But for you. Can you recall when this started or if there is a trigger for it?
it’s one particular guy. He’s just so abrupt and hateful. The general office feeling is that he is a bully. "
Can you get together and go to HR as a group?
He may have his own issues and be taking it out on other people. |
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"I had a breakdown at work about 6 years ago. I went to Mindfulness therapy. Not for everyone but it is the best thing that has happened to me.
But for you. Can you recall when this started or if there is a trigger for it? it’s one particular guy. He’s just so abrupt and hateful. The general office feeling is that he is a bully. "
There usually is always one in an office environment.....if the situation is causing health problems (and anxiety is) I would definitely talk to HR......if it's getting to the point you don't want to go to work definitely talk to someone...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had a breakdown at work about 6 years ago. I went to Mindfulness therapy. Not for everyone but it is the best thing that has happened to me.
But for you. Can you recall when this started or if there is a trigger for it? it’s one particular guy. He’s just so abrupt and hateful. The general office feeling is that he is a bully.
There usually is always one in an office environment.....if the situation is causing health problems (and anxiety is) I would definitely talk to HR......if it's getting to the point you don't want to go to work definitely talk to someone... "
it’s just accepted “that’s the way he is”. I’ve mentioned it to HR already |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've started using CBD oil and its definitely helped take the edge off. would it not Mong you out? Lol
No, the THC is removed. "
i
Will
Look into that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't go to HR! No one likes a grass! 
Just go up to him and be as nice as you can. Ask him why he's such a twat and if he doesn't mind leaving his issues at home as it's unprofessional at work. Tell him it's effecting the atmosphere in the office and you personally. If he apologises see how he is after. If he doesn't and carries on tell him you'll meet him behind the ike shed at break!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes a few times, i leave the building and sit down somewhere and take stock, fortunately my company are aware of the pressures of my job and the effect so they’re very supportive when it happens. |
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"I had a breakdown at work about 6 years ago. I went to Mindfulness therapy. Not for everyone but it is the best thing that has happened to me.
But for you. Can you recall when this started or if there is a trigger for it? it’s one particular guy. He’s just so abrupt and hateful. The general office feeling is that he is a bully.
There usually is always one in an office environment.....if the situation is causing health problems (and anxiety is) I would definitely talk to HR......if it's getting to the point you don't want to go to work definitely talk to someone... it’s just accepted “that’s the way he is”. I’ve mentioned it to HR already"
Sorry but if this person is bullying people at work then no way can that be brushed off as "that's the way he is" and tbh I don't think any company would except that.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Change your job!! Easier said than done but if it's effecting your health it's a must! Get well soon mate.
Running a2ay generally won't help. Need to know why happening first.
He said it's due to work. Obviously his work is giving him anxiety... change your work or anything else that's giving you anxeity. People tend to over think to much. If you don't like something or a situation... walk away from it and don't look back. "
Not unless you have explored all options. If it is repeatable then it will happen over and over again. Or do you think constant running works? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a breakdown at work about 6 years ago. I went to Mindfulness therapy. Not for everyone but it is the best thing that has happened to me.
But for you. Can you recall when this started or if there is a trigger for it? it’s one particular guy. He’s just so abrupt and hateful. The general office feeling is that he is a bully.
There usually is always one in an office environment.....if the situation is causing health problems (and anxiety is) I would definitely talk to HR......if it's getting to the point you don't want to go to work definitely talk to someone... it’s just accepted “that’s the way he is”. I’ve mentioned it to HR already
Sorry but if this person is bullying people at work then no way can that be brushed off as "that's the way he is" and tbh I don't think any company would except that...."
100% correct. If this is their response then read up on the formal grievance procedure. Bullying colleagues damage companies. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a breakdown at work about 6 years ago. I went to Mindfulness therapy. Not for everyone but it is the best thing that has happened to me.
But for you. Can you recall when this started or if there is a trigger for it? it’s one particular guy. He’s just so abrupt and hateful. The general office feeling is that he is a bully.
There usually is always one in an office environment.....if the situation is causing health problems (and anxiety is) I would definitely talk to HR......if it's getting to the point you don't want to go to work definitely talk to someone... it’s just accepted “that’s the way he is”. I’ve mentioned it to HR already
Sorry but if this person is bullying people at work then no way can that be brushed off as "that's the way he is" and tbh I don't think any company would except that...."
Agree... a bully should always be confronted. No matter how big he is or if he's higher up than you in the workplace. Supervisor etc. I walked out of a Hasbro job because of a supervisor. He had a go that we was chatting while working, bearing in mind our team worked the fastest loading the lorries as we was having a laugh and moral was good. I caught him chatting and walked up to him and asked if his chat was wotk realted. He told to fuck off and mind my own business... big mistake! I went off on him with a vengeance! I wont go into what I said exactly but it started... are you fucking kidding me? There is no job in the World that would make me 'put up with' a twat or bully. They need to have a big hard reality slap!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Change your job!! Easier said than done but if it's effecting your health it's a must! Get well soon mate.
Running a2ay generally won't help. Need to know why happening first.
He said it's due to work. Obviously his work is giving him anxiety... change your work or anything else that's giving you anxeity. People tend to over think to much. If you don't like something or a situation... walk away from it and don't look back.
Not unless you have explored all options. If it is repeatable then it will happen over and over again. Or do you think constant running works?"
Well he obviously isn't able or confident to confront the bully so change the job or put the guy in his place or stop moaning about it if it's 'the norm'. If you think oh that's just how he is then it's not effecting you much? If someone even tries to raise their voice at me they're put in their place asap!! If they shout you shout louder!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a breakdown at work about 6 years ago. I went to Mindfulness therapy. Not for everyone but it is the best thing that has happened to me.
But for you. Can you recall when this started or if there is a trigger for it? it’s one particular guy. He’s just so abrupt and hateful. The general office feeling is that he is a bully.
There usually is always one in an office environment.....if the situation is causing health problems (and anxiety is) I would definitely talk to HR......if it's getting to the point you don't want to go to work definitely talk to someone... it’s just accepted “that’s the way he is”. I’ve mentioned it to HR already"
Don't "mention it", take it formally to HR. Make an official grievance. This kind of shit goes on because people think they're safe from whistleblowers.
In the organisation I work for there are plenty of bullies that get away with terrorising their departments. People end up leaving a job they love rather than stand up to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Change your job!! Easier said than done but if it's effecting your health it's a must! Get well soon mate. "
A little bknt, but he's hi a real point, a lot of ppl just tr to cope reactively with wankers at work rather than taking control of the core problem. Once you're in control the anxiety will reduce, hopefully xx
If course there are financials to consider, so maybe just looking around other jobs might help a bit? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So everyone generally agrees. Stand up to the bully. A tip for you. Start taking notes. Dates. Times. What was said or done. How it made you feel. This is all evidence to protect you.
If a big company then you will have a dedicated HR partner. Arrange a meeting and make a formal complaint. Then follow up the meeting with a formal email detailing your complaint and meeting.
Make sure they reply to you. Take it from there.
But take time and date notes. Critical protection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Knock the twat out! What sort of things does he do? What does he say? Is it personal or banter?
Seriously wtf is up with u tday?????  "
Nothing... I just don't like bullies! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP : this is the 3rd or 4th post you have made about work getting you down
Please do something about it
Manage your exit
Manage your mental health
The two are linked
I know
I've been there |
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"Knock the twat out! What sort of things does he do? What does he say? Is it personal or banter?
Seriously wtf is up with u tday?????
Nothing... I just don't like bullies! "
Reacting with violence solves nothing....this isn't the school playground this is the grown up world.....  |
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"I had a breakdown at work about 6 years ago. I went to Mindfulness therapy. Not for everyone but it is the best thing that has happened to me.
But for you. Can you recall when this started or if there is a trigger for it? it’s one particular guy. He’s just so abrupt and hateful. The general office feeling is that he is a bully.
That's an easy one... confront him! Call him out, tell him his attitude stinksand leave you the fuck alone or you'll take it as a personal attack and defend yourself. Fucking hate bullies I do!! "
Don't do the above. Sit with him. Ask if he's okay. Mention that you want to improve your working relationship with him. Tell him that you are feeling anxious and sometimes you feel that his management style adds to your anxiety. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Knock the twat out! What sort of things does he do? What does he say? Is it personal or banter?
Seriously wtf is up with u tday?????
Nothing... I just don't like bullies!
Reacting with violence solves nothing....this isn't the school playground this is the grown up world..... "
If you read my other comments I say confront him calmly first and if it persists then it's a personal attack... you can't just talk to some people. The only way sometimes is to stoop to their level and confront them in a more harsh way... this guy knows what hes doing and knows it's effecting people. He's probably never been confronted and got away with it. So yeah I stand by what I said |
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"Change your job!! Easier said than done but if it's effecting your health it's a must! Get well soon mate.
Running a2ay generally won't help. Need to know why happening first.
He said it's due to work. Obviously his work is giving him anxiety... change your work or anything else that's giving you anxeity. People tend to over think to much. If you don't like something or a situation... walk away from it and don't look back.
Not unless you have explored all options. If it is repeatable then it will happen over and over again. Or do you think constant running works?
Well he obviously isn't able or confident to confront the bully so change the job or put the guy in his place or stop moaning about it if it's 'the norm'. If you think oh that's just how he is then it's not effecting you much? If someone even tries to raise their voice at me they're put in their place asap!! If they shout you shout louder!! "
It's a fine line between standing up for yourself and being aggressive and OTT. The irony is you are belitting the OP because he is not dealing with it like you would. That makes you a bully too!!You do hate bullies dont you?!
OP you have gone to HR and they have done nothing. Time to maybe put it in writing to HR and copy in occupational health dept (if you have one), that this issue is effecting your mental wellbeing and what are they going to do safeguard your health whilst at work. You want a meeting and take a witness (union rep or trusted friend).If it's really bad you may need to go off sick. You have informed them, they need to work with you and tackle the bully.
Don't front up to the bully as some have suggested. That will inflame the situation and may mean you get disciplined.
Hope it works out. |
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Worksneverworth it. It's just the shit we do to pay the bills. No company give a toss about us.
Nobody ever knew retired wishing they'd put more hours in so just do the min & enjoy the rest of your life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Change your job!! Easier said than done but if it's effecting your health it's a must! Get well soon mate.
Running a2ay generally won't help. Need to know why happening first.
He said it's due to work. Obviously his work is giving him anxiety... change your work or anything else that's giving you anxeity. People tend to over think to much. If you don't like something or a situation... walk away from it and don't look back.
Not unless you have explored all options. If it is repeatable then it will happen over and over again. Or do you think constant running works?
Well he obviously isn't able or confident to confront the bully so change the job or put the guy in his place or stop moaning about it if it's 'the norm'. If you think oh that's just how he is then it's not effecting you much? If someone even tries to raise their voice at me they're put in their place asap!! If they shout you shout louder!!
It's a fine line between standing up for yourself and being aggressive and OTT. The irony is you are belitting the OP because he is not dealing with it like you would. That makes you a bully too!!You do hate bullies dont you?!
OP you have gone to HR and they have done nothing. Time to maybe put it in writing to HR and copy in occupational health dept (if you have one), that this issue is effecting your mental wellbeing and what are they going to do safeguard your health whilst at work. You want a meeting and take a witness (union rep or trusted friend).If it's really bad you may need to go off sick. You have informed them, they need to work with you and tackle the bully.
Don't front up to the bully as some have suggested. That will inflame the situation and may mean you get disciplined.
Hope it works out."
I'm a bully for saying confront a bully? OP has said he's been to HR and they're all just excepting it? Bullies are bullies because people let them get away with it. Go to HR with a letter and he'll get a written warning... yeah that'll work, then maybe he'll think the guys a grass and bully him outside of work? Bullies are very small minding people... I did say and keep saying confront him calmly at first... tip toeing around him will just make him think he's getting away with it... I am talking from experience. I've nkt been bullied or been in a fight since school. Since the first time I stood up to a bully who bullied me for a long time. I kicked the shot out of him! Job done... was never bullied again! Since then if I feel someone is bullying me or about to say something I stand up for myself there and then... Just look at them and say stop if I was you because it wont well... that usually works as they see you won't take their shit or run off and tell on them. You'll stand there and handle it yourself. |
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Op google bullying in the work place and do a bit of research around dealing with it look at the Acas web site or contact citizens advice.
I think most of us have worked with bullies, its sometimes down to their own low self esteem but also more often arrogance and nastiness. I only ever left one job because of it, her immediate supervisor said she would speak to her about it but I just didn't want the whole palava that went with that so I walked. In another job I offered to support a colleague I witnessed being bullied but she chose to leave.
You need support from colleagues who are experiencing or have witnessed the actions of this person, records and witnesses of incidents and then all approach senior management telling, not asking them that they need to do something.
Good luck |
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"Change your job!! Easier said than done but if it's effecting your health it's a must! Get well soon mate.
Running a2ay generally won't help. Need to know why happening first.
He said it's due to work. Obviously his work is giving him anxiety... change your work or anything else that's giving you anxeity. People tend to over think to much. If you don't like something or a situation... walk away from it and don't look back.
Not unless you have explored all options. If it is repeatable then it will happen over and over again. Or do you think constant running works?
Well he obviously isn't able or confident to confront the bully so change the job or put the guy in his place or stop moaning about it if it's 'the norm'. If you think oh that's just how he is then it's not effecting you much? If someone even tries to raise their voice at me they're put in their place asap!! If they shout you shout louder!!
It's a fine line between standing up for yourself and being aggressive and OTT. The irony is you are belitting the OP because he is not dealing with it like you would. That makes you a bully too!!You do hate bullies dont you?!
OP you have gone to HR and they have done nothing. Time to maybe put it in writing to HR and copy in occupational health dept (if you have one), that this issue is effecting your mental wellbeing and what are they going to do safeguard your health whilst at work. You want a meeting and take a witness (union rep or trusted friend).If it's really bad you may need to go off sick. You have informed them, they need to work with you and tackle the bully.
Don't front up to the bully as some have suggested. That will inflame the situation and may mean you get disciplined.
Hope it works out.
I'm a bully for saying confront a bully? OP has said he's been to HR and they're all just excepting it? Bullies are bullies because people let them get away with it. Go to HR with a letter and he'll get a written warning... yeah that'll work, then maybe he'll think the guys a grass and bully him outside of work? Bullies are very small minding people... I did say and keep saying confront him calmly at first... tip toeing around him will just make him think he's getting away with it... I am talking from experience. I've nkt been bullied or been in a fight since school. Since the first time I stood up to a bully who bullied me for a long time. I kicked the shot out of him! Job done... was never bullied again! Since then if I feel someone is bullying me or about to say something I stand up for myself there and then... Just look at them and say stop if I was you because it wont well... that usually works as they see you won't take their shit or run off and tell on them. You'll stand there and handle it yourself. "
Run off and tell on them? Nice bit of victim blaming there. We aren't at school anymore!
Hope you work it out OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Change your job!! Easier said than done but if it's effecting your health it's a must! Get well soon mate.
Running a2ay generally won't help. Need to know why happening first.
He said it's due to work. Obviously his work is giving him anxiety... change your work or anything else that's giving you anxeity. People tend to over think to much. If you don't like something or a situation... walk away from it and don't look back.
Not unless you have explored all options. If it is repeatable then it will happen over and over again. Or do you think constant running works?
Well he obviously isn't able or confident to confront the bully so change the job or put the guy in his place or stop moaning about it if it's 'the norm'. If you think oh that's just how he is then it's not effecting you much? If someone even tries to raise their voice at me they're put in their place asap!! If they shout you shout louder!!
It's a fine line between standing up for yourself and being aggressive and OTT. The irony is you are belitting the OP because he is not dealing with it like you would. That makes you a bully too!!You do hate bullies dont you?!
OP you have gone to HR and they have done nothing. Time to maybe put it in writing to HR and copy in occupational health dept (if you have one), that this issue is effecting your mental wellbeing and what are they going to do safeguard your health whilst at work. You want a meeting and take a witness (union rep or trusted friend).If it's really bad you may need to go off sick. You have informed them, they need to work with you and tackle the bully.
Don't front up to the bully as some have suggested. That will inflame the situation and may mean you get disciplined.
Hope it works out.
I'm a bully for saying confront a bully? OP has said he's been to HR and they're all just excepting it? Bullies are bullies because people let them get away with it. Go to HR with a letter and he'll get a written warning... yeah that'll work, then maybe he'll think the guys a grass and bully him outside of work? Bullies are very small minding people... I did say and keep saying confront him calmly at first... tip toeing around him will just make him think he's getting away with it... I am talking from experience. I've nkt been bullied or been in a fight since school. Since the first time I stood up to a bully who bullied me for a long time. I kicked the shot out of him! Job done... was never bullied again! Since then if I feel someone is bullying me or about to say something I stand up for myself there and then... Just look at them and say stop if I was you because it wont well... that usually works as they see you won't take their shit or run off and tell on them. You'll stand there and handle it yourself.
Run off and tell on them? Nice bit of victim blaming there. We aren't at school anymore!
Hope you work it out OP."
I said bullies are small minded people and the bully will think that... all I'm saying is in life situations like that it's quicker and more efficient to just stand up to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suffer from this but I manage it because I have no other choice too. I absolutely love our job but there is one lady that works here that is constantly bitching about us behind our backs (because things we’ve implemented it means she has to actually work) and constantly spying on us when she’s on a day off but it’s one of those things we just have to get on with.
I find myself getting really nervous about seeing her, to the point I feel like my heart is about to jump out of me, when we’ve had a day off and she has been talking about us 24/7 to the other member of staff (instead of asking us questions) I find myself getting so low in mood and I find myself doing all I can to make sure she doesn’t moan at us, even things that I shouldn’t do, I do but it is never good enough, I wouldn’t mind if she was the boss but she isn’t.
Only another 7 months left and we can look for something else, we are here to get experience and get a year on our cv, apart from her this job is brilliant, just a shame I spend a couple days a week dreading it.
Danish x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I suffer from this but I manage it because I have no other choice too. I absolutely love our job but there is one lady that works here that is constantly bitching about us behind our backs (because things we’ve implemented it means she has to actually work) and constantly spying on us when she’s on a day off but it’s one of those things we just have to get on with.
I find myself getting really nervous about seeing her, to the point I feel like my heart is about to jump out of me, when we’ve had a day off and she has been talking about us 24/7 to the other member of staff (instead of asking us questions) I find myself getting so low in mood and I find myself doing all I can to make sure she doesn’t moan at us, even things that I shouldn’t do, I do but it is never good enough, I wouldn’t mind if she was the boss but she isn’t.
Only another 7 months left and we can look for something else, we are here to get experience and get a year on our cv, apart from her this job is brilliant, just a shame I spend a couple days a week dreading it.
Danish x"
this is exactly me!!! |
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"Does anyone suffer from anxiety due to work? I suffer badly with it. And would love peoples advice "
It's not worth your health, find a job you like and you'll never work a day in your life(obviously you will but it won't feel like it)
Sounds like your in the wrong job or the right job but wrong company |
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I left a hospital due to bullying on the ward ,I was sick before I went to work and panic ,and even ended up in A/E ,with terrible headache ,the consultant there told me to go home ,I was given a rollicking the next day ,I left my job on advise of my GP as it was affecting my mental health,,stress is a horrible thing. |
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"I had a breakdown at work about 6 years ago. I went to Mindfulness therapy. Not for everyone but it is the best thing that has happened to me.
But for you. Can you recall when this started or if there is a trigger for it? it’s one particular guy. He’s just so abrupt and hateful. The general office feeling is that he is a bully.
That's an easy one... confront him! Call him out, tell him his attitude stinksand leave you the fuck alone or you'll take it as a personal attack and defend yourself. Fucking hate bullies I do!! "
I second that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do and got signed off but still went to work. My bosses are the board of directors, some know and have been amazing, others I haven’t told as they wouldn’t care. My managing director knows who is my line manager and he’s been ok, asks what they can do to improve it for me but I don’t know what to say. I did say less emails from you all of an evening.
I said I won’t answer messages on days off but I still do! So I’m not really helping myself xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do and got signed off but still went to work. My bosses are the board of directors, some know and have been amazing, others I haven’t told as they wouldn’t care. My managing director knows who is my line manager and he’s been ok, asks what they can do to improve it for me but I don’t know what to say. I did say less emails from you all of an evening.
I said I won’t answer messages on days off but I still do! So I’m not really helping myself xx"
It is so hard to switch off! But yes, you do need to look after yourself. I am very good at switching off as soon as I leave the building, but really end up stay in the building for 13 hours every day! |
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