FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > People arranging to meet for initial drink but cancel last minute
People arranging to meet for initial drink but cancel last minute
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If it wasn't for one successful meet I would think Fab is just an elaborate hoax by our babysitter to get more money.
We've had 5 people cancel last minute now, is this normal and any tips on avoiding it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've heard of it happening quite a lot.
Around a month ago a lady suggested we meet up for a coffee.. I replied and I'm still waiting for her to open my message  |
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You’ll get people telling you it’s your selection process that’s at fault , but that’s nonsense . The fact is that there are loads of time wasters on here and they don’t care that they are messing people about . The chances are they cancel then block you , as that’s normal practice .
So what can you do ?
We used to find it was way better not to spend ages exchanging messages for a start , so if a meet was arranged then we would make it sooner rather than later and then just double check on the day . And we always said that a social would always lead to play if we clicked . Often to arrange a sitter etc.... it was hard to get mutually agreeable times , so to just have a social is seen by many as a waste of time , so we always agreed to play if we got on .
Aside from that I don’t know what else to say other than it really is the nature of this type of site . Way too many time wasters . |
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By *ngelina4uWoman
over a year ago
Camberley/Middleton |
"Thanks all.
I think limiting chat before the first social meet is a good tip, reduces the time wasted.
x"
I think you have that the wrong way round! You are looking just for women you need to gain their confidence trust and interest. If you don't get all three then people are far more likely to cancel. If you have had 5 last minute cancellations the odds are leaning to apprehension on the 5 people resulting in second thoughts and cancelling. You need to talk on skype/phone and gain trust and interest if you really want them to take you seriously and turn up. |
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"Thanks all.
I think limiting chat before the first social meet is a good tip, reduces the time wasted.
x
I think you have that the wrong way round! You are looking just for women you need to gain their confidence trust and interest. If you don't get all three then people are far more likely to cancel. If you have had 5 last minute cancellations the odds are leaning to apprehension on the 5 people resulting in second thoughts and cancelling. You need to talk on skype/phone and gain trust and interest if you really want them to take you seriously and turn up."
Yeah, limiting chat would not work for me at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks all.
I think limiting chat before the first social meet is a good tip, reduces the time wasted.
x"
I agree. I prefer to meet in person within 2 weeks of the first message.
I don't do sex chat at all before the social. If they want sex chat it's likely they'll wank then won't meet.
When we met as a couple I used to talk on the phone to prove I'm real. You could try that. |
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It has actually got worse the last year, there's no hard and fast rules that prevents it happening unfortunately. We no longer meet guys from this site due to that fact. Club meets or parties on this site now.  |
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"Thanks all.
I think limiting chat before the first social meet is a good tip, reduces the time wasted.
x"
And certainly limit any sexual chat, as there are some people who predominantly want this, not the meet.
It may also be that some get an offer of a sexual meet, so skip the social.
Always agree a communication schedule leading up to a meet, so you can guess when the meet won't happen.
Report users who have stood you up. |
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"Thanks all.
I think limiting chat before the first social meet is a good tip, reduces the time wasted.
x
And certainly limit any sexual chat, as there are some people who predominantly want this, not the meet.
It may also be that some get an offer of a sexual meet, so skip the social.
Always agree a communication schedule leading up to a meet, so you can guess when the meet won't happen.
Report users who have stood you up. "
Spot on .
Excellent advice  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
You'll get suggestions both to arrange to meet sooner and to meet later OP - neither are right or wrong, although personally I find that taking my time to get to know people, and establish an element of trust that both sides are who they say they are, works best for me and certainly hasn't failed me yet - the key though is finding what works for you.
One thought, given that you are only looking for single women - of the five cancellations, how many do you know for sure were actually women? There are a lot of blokes who pretend to be women for the sake of sex chat, attention etc and who obviously couldn't go through with a meet, but may take it as far as making arrangements but then cancel last minute - so that's a possibility to consider if you weren't 100% sure they were actually women.
Regardless of your approach to how soon you meet, all you can do is have your wits about you, use some common sense and make as many checks as possible to give yourselves a level of comfort the other person is genuine and as serious about meeting as you are.
More often than not when people have been let down it's been because they have dived into arranging to meet without taking any reasonable steps to reassure themselves that the other person is all they seem to be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People can't see your photos. I don't imagine you added those five cancellations to your friends list. Photos don't have to be explicit.My advice, put a few up that should help. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I chat for as long as it takes for me to be comfortable and want to meet,it has worked well for me overall.
Sadly there's no fail proof way to avoid messers it seems,but as others say don't entertain dirty chat and pic swap.They generally just want to get themselves off.
If it's people not showing for socials,maybe they weren't single or who they said they were.
Clubs are good as suggested ,on our couple profile we use it for clubs and socials are the logistics of meeting other couples are a nightmare. |
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