FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Forums or Messaging?
Forums or Messaging?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When it comes to getting to know new people here on Fab, which do you think was better for you?
Using the forums or sending a message after seeing their profile? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Forums are wayyy more interesting because you can just talk and when you message people its to easy to message a boring person either that or they automatically assume you just wanna fuck so they delete you before you get the chance to have a conversation |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Forums to get the gist of someone, then pm if you want to get to know them better. Met some ace people through the forums  "
Indeed. I've chatted and met some lovely people from the forums at a social last year which was great. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think the forums is a great way to break the ice. It does help make things easier when talking to new people whereas massaging is pretty much difficult. |
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By *m389Man
over a year ago
Magherafelt |
"Forums are wayyy more interesting because you can just talk and when you message people its to easy to message a boring person either that or they automatically assume you just wanna fuck so they delete you before you get the chance to have a conversation"
This. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Forum people are always far away plus if you fancy someone chances are half the forum will fancy the same person.
Plus there’s the fact that if you don’t put a good shift in you’ll have to still see the person on the forums  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Forum people are always far away plus if you fancy someone chances are half the forum will fancy the same person.
Plus there’s the fact that if you don’t put a good shift in you’ll have to still see the person on the forums "
That made me laugh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think using the chatrooms are a great way of networking "
I like the forums too.
I find them both more social and you get to see a bit of someone's personality before you start chatting one on one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When it comes to getting to know new people here on Fab, which do you think was better for you?
Using the forums or sending a message after seeing their profile?"
All of the above |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Forums will suck you in like a black hole and fuck up your potential meets, however they do put a smile on your face rather than regret.....
(and all the girls here TALK!)
Lololololol |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I find the whole "cold messaging" people a little clinical and awkward so like the forums for getting to see how people interact and spark conversations from there - although as someone else has said, just lately the forums are having the opposite effect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Forums! I’ve only been around a few months and have ‘met’ some really lovely people and the fact there’s always someone around to chat to has been a great help to me Messages are also great for that first contact with people we would potentially like to meet and also for more private chats with forum buddies! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find the whole "cold messaging" people a little clinical and awkward so like the forums for getting to see how people interact and spark conversations from there - although as someone else has said, just lately the forums are having the opposite effect "
Ok, this is OUR secret, so don't tell anyone, ok, just between us....
...but... ....when "cold" messaging....
....keep your first message very simple, not creepy, just a "hi" and something that you like about them... ...she or he will decide within 2 secs that you're at least not evil, then they will look at your profile or the pic you sent with your message and either reply or not..... .....if you're lucky enough to get a reply, THEN its the time to tell your potential friend a funny story, maybe about the plastic sheet lady from fab who wanted to stab you or something (true story)..... Use circular humour and repeat funny things but try to be subtle about it....
Humour makes the pants fall off, for both sexes, unless of course your target is a dull mofo, in which case it's a filter to avoid such dullness.... Win win!
... Works every time, but be careful they don't fall in love with you, ok 
|
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"I find the whole "cold messaging" people a little clinical and awkward so like the forums for getting to see how people interact and spark conversations from there - although as someone else has said, just lately the forums are having the opposite effect
Ok, this is OUR secret, so don't tell anyone, ok, just between us....
...but... ....when "cold" messaging....
....keep your first message very simple, not creepy, just a "hi" and something that you like about them... ...she or he will decide within 2 secs that you're at least not evil, then they will look at your profile or the pic you sent with your message and either reply or not..... .....if you're lucky enough to get a reply, THEN its the time to tell your potential friend a funny story, maybe about the plastic sheet lady from fab who wanted to stab you or something (true story)..... Use circular humour and repeat funny things but try to be subtle about it....
Humour makes the pants fall off, for both sexes, unless of course your target is a dull mofo, in which case it's a filter to avoid such dullness.... Win win!
... Works every time, but be careful they don't fall in love with you, ok
"
Have you heard the expression ‘teaching your granny to suck eggs’? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find the whole "cold messaging" people a little clinical and awkward so like the forums for getting to see how people interact and spark conversations from there - although as someone else has said, just lately the forums are having the opposite effect
Ok, this is OUR secret, so don't tell anyone, ok, just between us....
...but... ....when "cold" messaging....
....keep your first message very simple, not creepy, just a "hi" and something that you like about them... ...she or he will decide within 2 secs that you're at least not evil, then they will look at your profile or the pic you sent with your message and either reply or not..... .....if you're lucky enough to get a reply, THEN its the time to tell your potential friend a funny story, maybe about the plastic sheet lady from fab who wanted to stab you or something (true story)..... Use circular humour and repeat funny things but try to be subtle about it....
Humour makes the pants fall off, for both sexes, unless of course your target is a dull mofo, in which case it's a filter to avoid such dullness.... Win win!
... Works every time, but be careful they don't fall in love with you, ok
Have you heard the expression ‘teaching your granny to suck eggs’? "
Is that an offer? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The forums are quite cliquey though, yes you see how their general conduct is and sense of humour etc, but often threads can be hijacked with in jokes and the interaction can be mostly restricted to between their friends.
It a good that friendships have formed and been mintained for a number of years but it can give the forum a bit of a playground feel at times, which isn't particularly conducive for newer members looking to make connections. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just think a lot of guys let their cock get the better of them when messaging and forget they're talking t another human, that's all. I see it myself with some of the messages I get. You'd think "I know your profile says straight, but fancy a bit of discreet cock tonight mate" would be pretty obvious, but a LOT of fuckwits seem to disagree, maybe that works for ppl and I'm wrong entirely... |
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By *ngelina4uWoman
over a year ago
Camberley/Middleton |
"The forums are quite cliquey though, yes you see how their general conduct is and sense of humour etc, but often threads can be hijacked with in jokes and the interaction can be mostly restricted to between their friends.
It a good that friendships have formed and been mintained for a number of years but it can give the forum a bit of a playground feel at times, which isn't particularly conducive for newer members looking to make connections."
I thought no initially then on reflection yes as you do have a good point. There are some like that though not all thankfully. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The forums are quite cliquey though, yes you see how their general conduct is and sense of humour etc, but often threads can be hijacked with in jokes and the interaction can be mostly restricted to between their friends.
It a good that friendships have formed and been mintained for a number of years but it can give the forum a bit of a playground feel at times, which isn't particularly conducive for newer members looking to make connections."
Very true, if you're a little fragile and not Teflon coated you could have a bad experience here... Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The forums are quite cliquey though, yes you see how their general conduct is and sense of humour etc, but often threads can be hijacked with in jokes and the interaction can be mostly restricted to between their friends.
It a good that friendships have formed and been mintained for a number of years but it can give the forum a bit of a playground feel at times, which isn't particularly conducive for newer members looking to make connections."
I do agree it can be quite hard for newer members to crack into the dynamics on here. Don't get me wrong I love the forums and think there are some genuinely awesome people here. A few of those have even messaged me and helped me connect more. But being still new to forum posting I do agree with your statement about it hard to crack into. I just keep posting when a thread grabs me and interacting if opportunity arises. It's worked for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The forums are quite cliquey though, yes you see how their general conduct is and sense of humour etc, but often threads can be hijacked with in jokes and the interaction can be mostly restricted to between their friends.
It a good that friendships have formed and been mintained for a number of years but it can give the forum a bit of a playground feel at times, which isn't particularly conducive for newer members looking to make connections.
Very true, if you're a little fragile and not Teflon coated you could have a bad experience here... Xx"
Definitely need a thick skin on threads, completely agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Very true, if you're a little fragile and not Teflon coated you could have a bad experience here... Xx"
That for sure, but not just that. It's not about people being upset or offended etc, but just not being included. Just like at school, there are little cliques of people who largely stick together and the in jokes and referring to people by nick names is just exclusionary to newer members.
Observation it all doesn't generally give you a good feel for someone's character or your compatibility with them, as people battle to me top dog, seek attention or laugh at their friend's jokes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Very true, if you're a little fragile and not Teflon coated you could have a bad experience here... Xx
That for sure, but not just that. It's not about people being upset or offended etc, but just not being included. Just like at school, there are little cliques of people who largely stick together and the in jokes and referring to people by nick names is just exclusionary to newer members.
Observation it all doesn't generally give you a good feel for someone's character or your compatibility with them, as people battle to me top dog, seek attention or laugh at their friend's jokes."
Absolutely! Often if you talk to X then you can't be friends with Y, it's like a playground, but I guess that's what it's designed for.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Very true, if you're a little fragile and not Teflon coated you could have a bad experience here... Xx
That for sure, but not just that. It's not about people being upset or offended etc, but just not being included. Just like at school, there are little cliques of people who largely stick together and the in jokes and referring to people by nick names is just exclusionary to newer members.
Observation it all doesn't generally give you a good feel for someone's character or your compatibility with them, as people battle to me top dog, seek attention or laugh at their friend's jokes.
Absolutely! Often if you talk to X then you can't be friends with Y, it's like a playground, but I guess that's what it's designed for.... "
Ultimately, in nature, that's the purpose of sex, top dog gets to fuck and make top puppies! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like the forums it gives me an insight into how people interact, then the private messages. If then everything is going well it’s time to go onto Kik then we can get to know each other better x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely forums, all my meets and friends have come out of interaction via the forums.
Obviously distance can be an arse but it's always worth it so far.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Top dog wanna be ....is a mutt trust me....lurked enough to realise Rover ain't all tht!!! you want to post in a thread post.... "
Humans and aren't dogs, I agree for sure, this place encourages the testicles of many a guy to swell though and if they act like dogs, and some do in here, then it's called out.... |
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"Top dog wanna be ....is a mutt trust me....lurked enough to realise Rover ain't all tht!!! you want to post in a thread post....
Humans and aren't dogs, I agree for sure, this place encourages the testicles of many a guy to swell though and if they act like dogs, and some do in here, then it's called out.... "
I'm saying no more....don't need putting in the basement again.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that the forums can give indication of who that person is and whether your likely to get on. I'm not particularly close to anyone from the forums, it's messaging that's the real nitty gritty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Ultimately, in nature, that's the purpose of sex, top dog gets to fuck and make top puppies! "
This is a swinging site though, not Battersea. Swinging is supposed to be more nuanced than top dogs and bitches mating. This is where such behaviour helps to turn this into a generic shagging site, rather than for swingers |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Sending a message and then moving the chat elsewhere. It does quite often happen to be off the back of a forum post though. I feel like with the forum, people sometimes post what they think is the "right" answer, even if you know that's not the case. I also think with the forum you only get a snapshot of a person at a particular point in time, which is then what you choose to interpret. People are multi faceted and I'm not sure the forum always reflects that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sending a message and then moving the chat elsewhere. It does quite often happen to be off the back of a forum post though. I feel like with the forum, people sometimes post what they think is the "right" answer, even if you know that's not the case. I also think with the forum you only get a snapshot of a person at a particular point in time, which is then what you choose to interpret. People are multi faceted and I'm not sure the forum always reflects that."
What's she said ^
But I guess that's public life.... |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I find the whole "cold messaging" people a little clinical and awkward so like the forums for getting to see how people interact and spark conversations from there - although as someone else has said, just lately the forums are having the opposite effect
Ok, this is OUR secret, so don't tell anyone, ok, just between us....
...but... ....when "cold" messaging....
....keep your first message very simple, not creepy, just a "hi" and something that you like about them... ...she or he will decide within 2 secs that you're at least not evil, then they will look at your profile or the pic you sent with your message and either reply or not..... .....if you're lucky enough to get a reply, THEN its the time to tell your potential friend a funny story, maybe about the plastic sheet lady from fab who wanted to stab you or something (true story)..... Use circular humour and repeat funny things but try to be subtle about it....
Humour makes the pants fall off, for both sexes, unless of course your target is a dull mofo, in which case it's a filter to avoid such dullness.... Win win!
... Works every time, but be careful they don't fall in love with you, ok
Have you heard the expression ‘teaching your granny to suck eggs’? "
Are you calling me a granny? *scratches head* 
And Mr Xperia thanks for your errrrr "wisdom" - are other toothbrushes available? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Definitely forums, all my meets and friends have come out of interaction via the forums.
Obviously distance can be an arse but it's always worth it so far. "
This for me, I think. Although I've met a few outside the Forums and only the one Lurker so far. No Forumites to speak of yet, unfortunately. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find the whole "cold messaging" people a little clinical and awkward so like the forums for getting to see how people interact and spark conversations from there - although as someone else has said, just lately the forums are having the opposite effect
Ok, this is OUR secret, so don't tell anyone, ok, just between us....
...but... ....when "cold" messaging....
....keep your first message very simple, not creepy, just a "hi" and something that you like about them... ...she or he will decide within 2 secs that you're at least not evil, then they will look at your profile or the pic you sent with your message and either reply or not..... .....if you're lucky enough to get a reply, THEN its the time to tell your potential friend a funny story, maybe about the plastic sheet lady from fab who wanted to stab you or something (true story)..... Use circular humour and repeat funny things but try to be subtle about it....
Humour makes the pants fall off, for both sexes, unless of course your target is a dull mofo, in which case it's a filter to avoid such dullness.... Win win!
... Works every time, but be careful they don't fall in love with you, ok
Have you heard the expression ‘teaching your granny to suck eggs’?
Are you calling me a granny? *scratches head*
And Mr Xperia thanks for your errrrr "wisdom" - are other toothbrushes available? "
Yvw, free world/small cock etc.... |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"I find the whole "cold messaging" people a little clinical and awkward so like the forums for getting to see how people interact and spark conversations from there - although as someone else has said, just lately the forums are having the opposite effect
Ok, this is OUR secret, so don't tell anyone, ok, just between us....
...but... ....when "cold" messaging....
....keep your first message very simple, not creepy, just a "hi" and something that you like about them... ...she or he will decide within 2 secs that you're at least not evil, then they will look at your profile or the pic you sent with your message and either reply or not..... .....if you're lucky enough to get a reply, THEN its the time to tell your potential friend a funny story, maybe about the plastic sheet lady from fab who wanted to stab you or something (true story)..... Use circular humour and repeat funny things but try to be subtle about it....
Humour makes the pants fall off, for both sexes, unless of course your target is a dull mofo, in which case it's a filter to avoid such dullness.... Win win!
... Works every time, but be careful they don't fall in love with you, ok
Have you heard the expression ‘teaching your granny to suck eggs’?
Are you calling me a granny? *scratches head*
And Mr Xperia thanks for your errrrr "wisdom" - are other toothbrushes available? "
As if I’d call you a granny! (I’m not one either btw) I’m sure you’ve heard of the expression  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I find the whole "cold messaging" people a little clinical and awkward so like the forums for getting to see how people interact and spark conversations from there - although as someone else has said, just lately the forums are having the opposite effect
Ok, this is OUR secret, so don't tell anyone, ok, just between us....
...but... ....when "cold" messaging....
....keep your first message very simple, not creepy, just a "hi" and something that you like about them... ...she or he will decide within 2 secs that you're at least not evil, then they will look at your profile or the pic you sent with your message and either reply or not..... .....if you're lucky enough to get a reply, THEN its the time to tell your potential friend a funny story, maybe about the plastic sheet lady from fab who wanted to stab you or something (true story)..... Use circular humour and repeat funny things but try to be subtle about it....
Humour makes the pants fall off, for both sexes, unless of course your target is a dull mofo, in which case it's a filter to avoid such dullness.... Win win!
... Works every time, but be careful they don't fall in love with you, ok
Have you heard the expression ‘teaching your granny to suck eggs’?
Are you calling me a granny? *scratches head*
And Mr Xperia thanks for your errrrr "wisdom" - are other toothbrushes available?
As if I’d call you a granny! (I’m not one either btw) I’m sure you’ve heard of the expression "
Now who's trying to teach me to suck eggs |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"When it comes to getting to know new people here on Fab, which do you think was better for you?
Using the forums or sending a message after seeing their profile?
Both"
Forums give you something to message people about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't use the forums to meet people so I barely take notice of what specific people say.
I chat in private to people who have never heard of the forums and then chat on my phone, when we arrange to meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wait patiently for ladies to message first.
Not the greatest tactic in all fairness..."
Cobwebs down below? That's my tactic too probably, I like being the Prey occasionally |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"I find the whole "cold messaging" people a little clinical and awkward so like the forums for getting to see how people interact and spark conversations from there - although as someone else has said, just lately the forums are having the opposite effect
Ok, this is OUR secret, so don't tell anyone, ok, just between us....
...but... ....when "cold" messaging....
....keep your first message very simple, not creepy, just a "hi" and something that you like about them... ...she or he will decide within 2 secs that you're at least not evil, then they will look at your profile or the pic you sent with your message and either reply or not..... .....if you're lucky enough to get a reply, THEN its the time to tell your potential friend a funny story, maybe about the plastic sheet lady from fab who wanted to stab you or something (true story)..... Use circular humour and repeat funny things but try to be subtle about it....
Humour makes the pants fall off, for both sexes, unless of course your target is a dull mofo, in which case it's a filter to avoid such dullness.... Win win!
... Works every time, but be careful they don't fall in love with you, ok
Have you heard the expression ‘teaching your granny to suck eggs’?
Are you calling me a granny? *scratches head*
And Mr Xperia thanks for your errrrr "wisdom" - are other toothbrushes available?
As if I’d call you a granny! (I’m not one either btw) I’m sure you’ve heard of the expression
Now who's trying to teach me to suck eggs "
That exact thought did actually enter my head when I posted that  |
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By *wo4FemCouple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
Both the forums and the chatrooms are good for getting known on the site. Messages are good for when you come across someone you would like to meet up with. That's providing that they reply.
Mr2 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Forums great for meeting people we may not have otherwise come across...but ultimately PM etc, leading to a meet is the real test...
We love the forums though...it’s a fun distraction and talk maybe differently than just straight from PM |
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when i was meeting it was always messaging ive never used the forum for 1 to 1 meets (although this has happened)such a small pool of guys on the forums but theres a whole wensite out there to meet guys. I havent a clue if the guys ive met even know the forums exist i certainly havent mentioned them to them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my 10 years here, I've never sent the opening message
So, for me, the forums have been great in terms of getting to know folk "
That's the stuff of legend right there ?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
For a while, I gave sending a first message a go. I made sure they weren't just a simple "hi" as I know that never gets a response and I made sure they are detailed and include stuff from the profile I read and sadly still no luck.
I think I'll just stick to being in the forums as first messaging is not working for me. |
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"Forum people are always far away plus if you fancy someone chances are half the forum will fancy the same person.
Plus there’s the fact that if you don’t put a good shift in you’ll have to still see the person on the forums
That made me laugh "
Works both ways lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I rarely meet Forumites as not many I fancy getting naked with but I do like messaging them on a friendly basis. I tend to use messages on here and then move to kik to get to know them. |
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