FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why would you tell someone you’re meeting someone
Why would you tell someone you’re meeting someone
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Say you’ve been speaking to someone with a view to meeting, why would you then tell that person that you’re meeting another woman (or man) and would fuck if the opportunity arose?
Like why does the other person need to know this and how would you handle it?
Pissed me off to be honest. It’s like I’m taking a ticket and waiting in line for my turn. This close to blocking him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah there's just no need. Why does he think you'd want to know? |
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would you prefer to see the verification just pop up |
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By *.H.SMan
over a year ago
London |
do what you want he dont own u caution might give you that out of this sex next time lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah there's just no need. Why does he think you'd want to know? "
Fuck knows. I said off the cuff Saturday night that I was supposed to be meeting someone tomorrow (Sunday) but not heard off him and jokingly said do you want to meet. He said yeah and Sunday came and I wasn’t really feeling getting dressed so said I was having a chill day but let’s arrange something in the week.
Now I’m told that its because I’d let them down Sunday and they’ve only been speaking for a fucking day. It’s jokes. Like if they’re gonna do it then do it silently, I really didn’t need to know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some people maybe think it makes them more desirable. Like look this person wants to do this with me so you should too.
That said though there are people who get a bit pissed off when they see a veri pop up for someone they've been talking to so maybe he was covering his back? Although the bit about fucking her makes it seem a wee bit like gloating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Say you’ve been speaking to someone with a view to meeting, why would you then tell that person that you’re meeting another woman (or man) and would fuck if the opportunity arose?
Like why does the other person need to know this and how would you handle it?
Pissed me off to be honest. It’s like I’m taking a ticket and waiting in line for my turn. This close to blocking him. "
I’d like to know but not graphic details...
Like I had a chap that said look I want to meet you but I’ve already arranged something so I said well look that’s fine, don’t cancel anything for me and we still haven’t met but we do chat now and again...
What is worse is having something arranged and not knowing then they tell you during a social they had a meet the day before... dude? Really? Not for me that kind of “conveyor belt” thing x
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me. "
Sadly in this environment it’s survival of the fittest... the constant “women have all the power on here” threads piss me off for this very reason, lovely.
You’re not second best, she was your replacement so she is the option not the choice x |
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"Say you’ve been speaking to someone with a view to meeting, why would you then tell that person that you’re meeting another woman (or man) and would fuck if the opportunity arose?
Like why does the other person need to know this and how would you handle it?
Pissed me off to be honest. It’s like I’m taking a ticket and waiting in line for my turn. This close to blocking him. "
OP I could understand being annoyed if you were chatting on a dating site but fab is different - the whole point is non-monogamy so them meeting others is to be expected. You are only meeting for a shag and not to discuss wedding plans! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me. "
Didnt you do the same with him though when you were meant to have a meet sunday then asked him to be your back up? Which you then cancelled on anyway
I know its easier said than done to not let these things bother you but its a guy from a swing site, that you havent even met, and have only been chatting for a few days ... he owes you nothing and it sounds like actually what he gave you was honesty ... you just dont like what you heard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why would you want to carry on with him. Move on plenty more men out there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Say you’ve been speaking to someone with a view to meeting, why would you then tell that person that you’re meeting another woman (or man) and would fuck if the opportunity arose?
Like why does the other person need to know this and how would you handle it?
Pissed me off to be honest. It’s like I’m taking a ticket and waiting in line for my turn. This close to blocking him. "
That's just pure thick does he think he's some kind of pimp or something lol your better off with out him if that's how he sees things just block and find someone that will treat you with respect  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think i’d kind of expect it to be honest that they had other meets lined up and talk about them but that’s just me I guess, I guess being here it’s only natural that people might have more than one meet lined up. Unless it was a view to a relationship that’s a total different thing, then no I wouldn’t want to know but if it was just a fuck then, it wouldn’t bother me as that’s what we are all here for.
Danish x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ha he’s said that he was going to meet her and not tell me but respected me too much to lie.
What do I do with that? I’m in a situation now where I’m gonna cut my nose off to spite my face. I want to meet him but I’m pissed off and want to block and say he’s fucked it now. |
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"Ha he’s said that he was going to meet her and not tell me but respected me too much to lie.
What do I do with that? I’m in a situation now where I’m gonna cut my nose off to spite my face. I want to meet him but I’m pissed off and want to block and say he’s fucked it now. "
Why because he wants to meet someone else , thats what this site is for |
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It's a swinging site. Why would anyone get pissed off that someone met someone else... It's not like he set up to meet the op and then cancelled... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ha he’s said that he was going to meet her and not tell me but respected me too much to lie.
What do I do with that? I’m in a situation now where I’m gonna cut my nose off to spite my face. I want to meet him but I’m pissed off and want to block and say he’s fucked it now. "
Do both, tell him to fuck off and block him..... then unblock in a few days and send him a faf message  |
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Your on the wrong site love. This is fab not cupid lol |
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"It's a swinging site. Why would anyone get pissed off that someone met someone else... It's not like he set up to meet the op and then cancelled... "
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I appreciate how you feel. Most of the responses I get are positive but rarely evolve into a meet due to various excuses from the other party then the next thing you know, they've met other people and basically ignore you whilst searching for something else... but keep you in touch just in case... not exactly healthy for ones self esteem I tell ya |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I just wish I didn’t know about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just wish I didn’t know about it. "
Sounds like your ego is bruised ... you need to decide if you can be ok with not having someones sole attention before you continue looking for meets on here and i would suggest from reading your profile and this post the answer is no
While i wouldnt meet men who disrespect me and i have no interest in the hump and dump types , i think you have to accept on here that its likely partners will be meeting other people and actually the fact he was honest was a good thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me.
Didnt you do the same with him though when you were meant to have a meet sunday then asked him to be your back up? Which you then cancelled on anyway
I know its easier said than done to not let these things bother you but its a guy from a swing site, that you havent even met, and have only been chatting for a few days ... he owes you nothing and it sounds like actually what he gave you was honesty ... you just dont like what you heard"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just wish I didn’t know about it. "
the thing is you will know about it when the veri pops up on his profile. He's actually shown you a bit of respect by telling you.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Say you’ve been speaking to someone with a view to meeting, why would you then tell that person that you’re meeting another woman (or man) and would fuck if the opportunity arose?
Like why does the other person need to know this and how would you handle it?
Pissed me off to be honest. It’s like I’m taking a ticket and waiting in line for my turn. This close to blocking him. "
I personally don't talk about other guys I intend on meeting. If a guy asked me, I'd be honest and tell them but it's not something I'd outright mention.
If anyone got arsey with me over me meeting others, I'd be very inclined to fuck them off completely. I come on here to escape. To be able to do what I want, when I want with who ever I want. I can't be doing with drama. |
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me. "
You look hot as hell and pure lush the guys a arse to drop you your off the scale and to walk away from you the nutter |
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"I just wish I didn’t know about it. the thing is you will know about it when the veri pops up on his profile. He's actually shown you a bit of respect by telling you. "
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"Ha he’s said that he was going to meet her and not tell me but respected me too much to lie.
What do I do with that? I’m in a situation now where I’m gonna cut my nose off to spite my face. I want to meet him but I’m pissed off and want to block and say he’s fucked it now. "
Bin if a woman said that to me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me.
You look hot as hell and pure lush the guys a arse to drop you your off the scale and to walk away from you the nutter "
Other woman could be even hotter, we don’t know. She better be if he meets her over me. |
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me.
You look hot as hell and pure lush the guys a arse to drop you your off the scale and to walk away from you the nutter
Other woman could be even hotter, we don’t know. She better be if he meets her over me. "
you dont have to be hot for somene to want to meet you , its the full package to me |
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me.
You look hot as hell and pure lush the guys a arse to drop you your off the scale and to walk away from you the nutter
Your pics are hot as hell nearly melted my phone in my hand you’ll find someone better who wants you
Other woman could be even hotter, we don’t know. She better be if he meets her over me. you dont have to be hot for somene to want to meet you , its the full package to me"
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me.
You look hot as hell and pure lush the guys a arse to drop you your off the scale and to walk away from you the nutter
Totally agree there some who are sexy as hell but no brain cells then it’s a defo no way
Other woman could be even hotter, we don’t know. She better be if he meets her over me. you dont have to be hot for somene to want to meet you , its the full package to me"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He actually hasn't put you at second best from what I hear. You cancelled on him.
I've had a woman tell me she's too busy to meet right now yet several play veris popped up over weeks. Now that's fucked up. |
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Guys are like this (women too probably but idk for sure) if they think they're going to get something definite then they will take that over something not as certain.
So far you have cancelled on him so are not a certain any more, this other person hasn't met him yet but also hasn't cancelled on him.
It's actually a good way to be if you know what you want. He hasn't blocked you for cancelling either and is still trusting you by being honest with you, i'd respect that. |
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Sounds like he's bruised your ego. You are pissed off that he is making you wait, yet that is exactly what you have done to him by cancelling on sunday. He had the decency to tell you he arranged to meet someone else. This is a swingers site. It's what people do. It does not reflect on you.Did you expect him to wait round for you to snap your fingers and agree to meet? How is that showing anybody respect? Good on him for using the site as it's intended to be used. |
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This guy has listened to you talk about meeting others, and you arranging another meet as a back up.
They have accepted your invitation to be the back up and still talks to you after being cancelled at the last minute (for all he knows your previous arrangement may have materialised and you chose them instead).
They have been honest and more than fair with you. Even answered your interrogation about their meet which frankly is none of your business, esp after only chatting for a short period of time and (I assume) on a swingers site.
On top if that he is being portrayed as an arsehole in the forum for all to see and comment about.
Your reaction is spiteful? petty and hypocritical. |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
[Removed by poster at 12/03/19 03:28:25] |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
I would prefer to know at least he's been honest. Which then gives you the opportunity to decide if you wish to continue. At that point I would probably say I dont think we are on the same page etc. I only treat people how I would like to be treated though. He wouldn't be for me that's for sure.
However he has treated you the same as you him so I'm sure sure what you expect really. You have received what you give out back and maybe you dont like it.
It's a case of do as I do...
Honestly is the best policy.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi and mirning I agree honesty is the only way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It looks like he wasn't available to meet on another day during the week due to a scheduled meet and he was honest with about why. I mean this in a kind and friendly way... you should have more self esteem! Do you realise how very horny he is going to be after he had a chance to meet with a hot little teacake like yourself and then you cancel on him last minute? He has a right to meet someone else. I get that part of your pleasure is having him drool over you a little longer waiting patiently and frustratingly for a shot but you would have to be a little clearer about when you're available to give him that shot. A vague "sometime during the week" is not the kind of rescheduling I would put any hope in after a last minute cancellation. I would move on very quickly even though you're exceptionally hot. My sense is that you're looking for someone who wants you exclusively and bad enough to tolerate being jerked around a bit. I'm not judging, that's perfectly fine. But some of us will not turn down another fuck to wait for someone who seems flakey... A bird in the hand and all that. I hope you find what you're looking for. Don't block this guy, give him a shot. I'm sure he finds you stunning but I suspect he sees you as a flake and a waste of his time and energy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 12/03/19 04:28:16] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah there's just no need. Why does he think you'd want to know?
Fuck knows. I said off the cuff Saturday night that I was supposed to be meeting someone tomorrow (Sunday) but not heard off him and jokingly said do you want to meet. He said yeah and Sunday came and I wasn’t really feeling getting dressed so said I was having a chill day but let’s arrange something in the week.
Now I’m told that its because I’d let them down Sunday and they’ve only been speaking for a fucking day. It’s jokes. Like if they’re gonna do it then do it silently, I really didn’t need to know. "
So you told him youre meeting somone else, he did the same and now youre pissed off?
Shouldnt he be pissed off as you did it first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This guy has listened to you talk about meeting others, and you arranging another meet as a back up.
They have accepted your invitation to be the back up and still talks to you after being cancelled at the last minute (for all he knows your previous arrangement may have materialised and you chose them instead).
They have been honest and more than fair with you. Even answered your interrogation about their meet which frankly is none of your business, esp after only chatting for a short period of time and (I assume) on a swingers site.
On top if that he is being portrayed as an arsehole in the forum for all to see and comment about.
Your reaction is spiteful? petty and hypocritical. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah there's just no need. Why does he think you'd want to know?
Fuck knows. I said off the cuff Saturday night that I was supposed to be meeting someone tomorrow (Sunday) but not heard off him and jokingly said do you want to meet. He said yeah and Sunday came and I wasn’t really feeling getting dressed so said I was having a chill day but let’s arrange something in the week.
Now I’m told that its because I’d let them down Sunday and they’ve only been speaking for a fucking day. It’s jokes. Like if they’re gonna do it then do it silently, I really didn’t need to know. "
You told him you were meeting someone else but got stood up so you'd meet him. Then you changed your mind about meeting him until later.
He's just doing the same as you did.
How do you think he felt, you saying you'd meet him as your plan B then you couldn't be bothered?
Maybe his other meet doesn't exist. Maybe he felt the same as you feel now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do whatever feels right to you. Agreed this place isn't monogamy central and we all know we are meeting other people but we don't necessarily want our noses rubbed in it. The best, most successful men on here know this and treat women as unique, special individuals |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Attaching unnecessary strings I feel.... |
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[Removed by poster at 12/03/19 06:17:28] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This guy has listened to you talk about meeting others, and you arranging another meet as a back up.
They have accepted your invitation to be the back up and still talks to you after being cancelled at the last minute (for all he knows your previous arrangement may have materialised and you chose them instead).
They have been honest and more than fair with you. Even answered your interrogation about their meet which frankly is none of your business, esp after only chatting for a short period of time and (I assume) on a swingers site.
On top if that he is being portrayed as an arsehole in the forum for all to see and comment about.
Your reaction is spiteful? petty and hypocritical.
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+1 |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Sounds like he's bruised your ego. You are pissed off that he is making you wait, yet that is exactly what you have done to him by cancelling on sunday. He had the decency to tell you he arranged to meet someone else. This is a swingers site. It's what people do. It does not reflect on you.Did you expect him to wait round for you to snap your fingers and agree to meet? How is that showing anybody respect? Good on him for using the site as it's intended to be used."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So, you told him that you were supposed to be meeting someone and when he said he is meeting someone you didn’t like it? |
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I really don't get the Ops problem. She tells a bloke she has plans to meet someone else and he tells her the same.
If I was him I'd be scratching my head as to what I was supposed to have done wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So he’s doing the exact same thing you did and you feel annoyed?
He’s on a swinging site. It’s very likely he’ll be meeting other people. If you don’t want that, you’ll need to find someone on more conventional sites.
I’d rather know about it. If your ego can’t handle it then maybe you shouldn’t meet him, why is it fair for you to meet someone else but not him?
I’d be glad he told me, rather than a veri just pop up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really don't get the Ops problem. She tells a bloke she has plans to meet someone else and he tells her the same.
If I was him I'd be scratching my head as to what I was supposed to have done wrong. "
I completely get what she means about not wanting to feel she's just the next in line/the "conveyer belt" mentality though. Surely none of us likes to feel that we're simply disposable? It's a matter of manners/etiquette not to make someone feel like this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah there's just no need. Why does he think you'd want to know? "
Cos this is Fab! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really don't get the Ops problem. She tells a bloke she has plans to meet someone else and he tells her the same.
If I was him I'd be scratching my head as to what I was supposed to have done wrong.
I completely get what she means about not wanting to feel she's just the next in line/the "conveyer belt" mentality though. Surely none of us likes to feel that we're simply disposable? It's a matter of manners/etiquette not to make someone feel like this"
To be fair, as others say, she's done pretty much the same to him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op so when we meeting lol X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I fail to see the problem: he's done no worse to.you than you to him and it is a swinging site after all.
The sense of entitlement that some women have on here is quite astounding. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's harsh and hard to hear but this is the reality of the site.
Does it actually make him more desirable to you now he's met someone else? As in you now feel you need to prove what a mistake he made? |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I really don't get the Ops problem. She tells a bloke she has plans to meet someone else and he tells her the same.
If I was him I'd be scratching my head as to what I was supposed to have done wrong.
I completely get what she means about not wanting to feel she's just the next in line/the "conveyer belt" mentality though. Surely none of us likes to feel that we're simply disposable? It's a matter of manners/etiquette not to make someone feel like this"
This is exactly how this guy must feel though, he was a plan B that she couldn't even be bothered to get dressed to meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As people have already said, you did the same to him first and expected him to be OK with it, which is pretty unreasonable.
Perhaps it would be beneficial to take some time to figure out why you expect things from your meets that you aren't willing to recipricate. You're obviously very hurt and it would be foolish to risk this situation from occurring again.
This is a swinging site where people have casual sex for fun with various partners. You won't be able to reasonably demand exclusivity. You need to decide whether you're OK with that or not. |
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Surely it's just being honest. Just because we are on here doesn't mean your not human. I meet very few ppl now but if I do the last thing I want to be is just a fuck. I was doing that at 17 I like to think I've grown in that time as well as learned a few things about myself and the ppl I choose to be around me. Teabags I like you I really do. I've cryed with laughter at some of your posts but fuck me girl chill out you'll seriously live longer xxx |
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In general gad woman do it, and I always say first come first serve so you'd defo be first in my books kitana |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In general gad woman do it, and I always say first come first serve so you'd defo be first in my books kitana"
Even after you csme second like this guy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cards on the table honesty |
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I do agree though being straight is the way forwards |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think you would get on better using match.com or pof , it doesn’t sound like you’re a swinger and that’s what this site it . People meet on here for nsa sex and by the sounds of it that’s not something you’re looking for . The guy has done nothing wrong hes using the site the way its been intended to be used . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why would i tell someone I'm meeting someone?
Well unlike you Kitana, I can't summon up meets on here, or elsewhere, as and when I'd like them.
Like you, I've got responsibilities and a life outside of here that must be tended to. The people I meet do as well.
Recently things clashed a bit. Someone not from my area, who I was I'd been dying to meet for ages, just happened to be in the area on shortist notice.
I said I'd love to meet her, however.. I'd already arranged a meeting with five other people the night after.
I didn't want her to see the veris and feel anything untoward, or hurt in any way. It's not usually how I operate, but fate was intervening.
Turns out the group thing never transpired and there was no need to mention it at all, but I'm glad I gave her the option.
Thankfully, she is a bit like me. Just enjoys people's company for what it is at the time.
Maybe spend a little more time getting to know someone? I dunno Kitana.. if you let this guy on Fab and he's seen your posts. He should know what you're after by now and what may or may not grind your gears. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Frankly I'm amazed that this guy is still hanging around!
Firstly he was your plan B, then you cancelled on him just because you couldn't be bothered. This poor guy must feel so completely insignificant to you!
Personally I wouldn't consider meeting anyone who wasn't actively eager to meet me, you've given him three reasons to consider that you couldn't give a toss, the last being that you can't be arsed to arrange another meet.
As for your reaction to what he's told you? He's only done what you did to him. This is a swingers site, if I'm chatting to someone and met someone else then I'd pay them the courtesy of letting them know beforehand.
I do think you're attitude on this is rather hypocritical and pretty poor. Treat other people like you want to be treated, not like objects you pick up or put down whenever you want |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Given all anyone seems to mention abour veris is them upsetting people why on earth do you bother with them? |
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"Say you’ve been speaking to someone with a view to meeting, why would you then tell that person that you’re meeting another woman (or man) and would fuck if the opportunity arose?
Like why does the other person need to know this and how would you handle it?
Pissed me off to be honest. It’s like I’m taking a ticket and waiting in line for my turn. This close to blocking him. "
Would you be more or less pissed off if he met her and didn't say anything, you just found out from the verification?
This site isn't a monogamous one so the chances are anyone you chat to is chatting to multiple people and potentially meeting them as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Frankly I'm amazed that this guy is still hanging around!
Firstly he was your plan B, then you cancelled on him just because you couldn't be bothered. This poor guy must feel so completely insignificant to you!
Personally I wouldn't consider meeting anyone who wasn't actively eager to meet me, you've given him three reasons to consider that you couldn't give a toss, the last being that you can't be arsed to arrange another meet.
As for your reaction to what he's told you? He's only done what you did to him. This is a swingers site, if I'm chatting to someone and met someone else then I'd pay them the courtesy of letting them know beforehand.
I do think you're attitude on this is rather hypocritical and pretty poor. Treat other people like you want to be treated, not like objects you pick up or put down whenever you want"
Have to agree with this. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
To be perfectly honest, after your recent threads about guys messing you around and how that's made you feel, you had my sympathy. Then you treat this guy the same as you were and you have the ability to feel hurt by his reaction to you pissing him about?
Take a step out of yourself for a moment and look at your actions. |
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Agree with the ladies and gents and no ladies and gents above at the end of the day if you get hurt on here you should maybe still to dating sites so you have a proper reason to be hurt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Frankly I'm amazed that this guy is still hanging around!
Firstly he was your plan B, then you cancelled on him just because you couldn't be bothered. This poor guy must feel so completely insignificant to you!
Personally I wouldn't consider meeting anyone who wasn't actively eager to meet me, you've given him three reasons to consider that you couldn't give a toss, the last being that you can't be arsed to arrange another meet.
As for your reaction to what he's told you? He's only done what you did to him. This is a swingers site, if I'm chatting to someone and met someone else then I'd pay them the courtesy of letting them know beforehand.
I do think you're attitude on this is rather hypocritical and pretty poor. Treat other people like you want to be treated, not like objects you pick up or put down whenever you want"
I agree, the OP comes accross as either naive or insecure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I expect men to be doing the same as me, I prefer it when they are honest and upfront too.
I’m not looking for just one guy, why should he be focussed on me - especially if he appeared to be my second choice? I appreciate openness and honesty.
Being told he can meet you as a replacement, then being told you couldn’t be bothered on the day, can’t be doing much for his ego. I’m surprised he still wants to meet you. Would you meet him under those circumstances?
I wouldn’t!
I might value honesty but I like to be treated with respect
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By *sm81Couple
over a year ago
warwickshire |
"Frankly I'm amazed that this guy is still hanging around!
Firstly he was your plan B, then you cancelled on him just because you couldn't be bothered. This poor guy must feel so completely insignificant to you!
Personally I wouldn't consider meeting anyone who wasn't actively eager to meet me, you've given him three reasons to consider that you couldn't give a toss, the last being that you can't be arsed to arrange another meet.
As for your reaction to what he's told you? He's only done what you did to him. This is a swingers site, if I'm chatting to someone and met someone else then I'd pay them the courtesy of letting them know beforehand.
I do think you're attitude on this is rather hypocritical and pretty poor. Treat other people like you want to be treated, not like objects you pick up or put down whenever you want"
Couldn't have said it better, this is a site for swinging and nsa so you will never get only one guy talking to you and you will never just speak to one guy at a time. It's not one rule for you and one rule for them |
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You bruised his ego by not meeting him at the drop of a hat.
He’s bruising yours right back.
Sounds like someone who could handle you. You should date him. |
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"Say you’ve been speaking to someone with a view to meeting, why would you then tell that person that you’re meeting another woman (or man) and would fuck if the opportunity arose?
Like why does the other person need to know this and how would you handle it?
Pissed me off to be honest. It’s like I’m taking a ticket and waiting in line for my turn. This close to blocking him. "
Sorry, struggling to see what your problem is. This isn't match.com where you're seeking an exclusive relationship. Some people actually want to meet and fuck with no drama.
Discussing previous and potential meets is tacky and I wouldn't want to meet people who lack discretion, other than that... |
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"Say you’ve been speaking to someone with a view to meeting, why would you then tell that person that you’re meeting another woman (or man) and would fuck if the opportunity arose?
Like why does the other person need to know this and how would you handle it?
Pissed me off to be honest. It’s like I’m taking a ticket and waiting in line for my turn. This close to blocking him.
OP I could understand being annoyed if you were chatting on a dating site but fab is different - the whole point is non-monogamy so them meeting others is to be expected. You are only meeting for a shag and not to discuss wedding plans!"
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me.
Didnt you do the same with him though when you were meant to have a meet sunday then asked him to be your back up? Which you then cancelled on anyway
I know its easier said than done to not let these things bother you but its a guy from a swing site, that you havent even met, and have only been chatting for a few days ... he owes you nothing and it sounds like actually what he gave you was honesty ... you just dont like what you heard"
Do as I say... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a tricky one when there is a deviant mind with a romantic kind of heart on a swringing site.
If this kinda thing bothers you than meeting here will be bad for your health. Sounds like you will fair better on a dating site |
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"It's a swinging site. Why would anyone get pissed off that someone met someone else... It's not like he set up to meet the op and then cancelled... "
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One point... comparisons.... there is no hotter ..or better than.... there is only different ...if you get on ..you get on ...if you don't.. don't repeat the same experience... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thats not right, I'd block em straight away no messing. I'd feel like I'm waiting in line. Not good and inconsiderate. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Think it’s just the fact that they’d been speaking for one day yet she gets the meet before me. Yeah I said we should meet tomorrow (Sunday) but no plans or times were made and first thing in the morning I said I was gonna have a chill day and do my ironing and stuff for the week, we continued to talk and I said we’ll arrange something in the week and asked when would be good for him, this was all Sunday. So even though I cancelled something that wasn’t concrete I said straight away when shall we instead so it’s not like I was blowing him out without him knowing that I would meet soon.
Anyway it’s all fine now.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Frankly I'm amazed that this guy is still hanging around!
Firstly he was your plan B, then you cancelled on him just because you couldn't be bothered. This poor guy must feel so completely insignificant to you!
Personally I wouldn't consider meeting anyone who wasn't actively eager to meet me, you've given him three reasons to consider that you couldn't give a toss, the last being that you can't be arsed to arrange another meet.
As for your reaction to what he's told you? He's only done what you did to him. This is a swingers site, if I'm chatting to someone and met someone else then I'd pay them the courtesy of letting them know beforehand.
I do think you're attitude on this is rather hypocritical and pretty poor. Treat other people like you want to be treated, not like objects you pick up or put down whenever you want"
Fully agree with this.
You really need to step back and take a look at yourself, your views, and your attitude towards what you want, yourself, and other people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to say, you've can't complain about this scenario. He's done exactly the same as you did to him. If I'm reading right, you basically told him you couldn't be arsed to get dressed to go and meet him.
Any wonder he went out and arranged to meet someone else?
If the roles had been reversed, you'd have been on here ripping into "how dare he not be arsed to meet ME!". With the resulting thread running along the lines of 'what an aresole" from everyone. |
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"Say you’ve been speaking to someone with a view to meeting, why would you then tell that person that you’re meeting another woman (or man) and would fuck if the opportunity arose?
Like why does the other person need to know this and how would you handle it?
Pissed me off to be honest. It’s like I’m taking a ticket and waiting in line for my turn. This close to blocking him. "
Ummmm, this happens to guys all the time.....if I've been chatting for a while but haven't met someone yet then yes, if they ask if I have a meet coming up I'll be honest. It's a swinging site, I'm aware the people I sleep with will meet others. I have no ego needing stroked so I don't mind if they're meeting others and are open about it. I'm too old to play coy games and try to pretend they're the only one (or vice versa) be open, honest and fair is my personal code. |
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"This guy has listened to you talk about meeting others, and you arranging another meet as a back up.
They have accepted your invitation to be the back up and still talks to you after being cancelled at the last minute (for all he knows your previous arrangement may have materialised and you chose them instead).
They have been honest and more than fair with you. Even answered your interrogation about their meet which frankly is none of your business, esp after only chatting for a short period of time and (I assume) on a swingers site.
On top if that he is being portrayed as an arsehole in the forum for all to see and comment about.
Your reaction is spiteful? petty and hypocritical. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As I’ve previously mentioned before and been shot down ~ are you really on the correct site for what you are looking for, which in the long term (bigger picture) is monogamy?
When I first came on Fabs it took me ages to get my ahead around people I was either meeting or looking to meet, meeting others, a bit like pulling a ticket at a deli counter, but in the end I did, either that or leave.
You’ve been on here the same amount of time as me so surely to goodness you’d have sorted this in your head by now?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thats not right, I'd block em straight away no messing. I'd feel like I'm waiting in line. Not good and inconsiderate."
So if you were the guy youd have blocked the op? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I doubt it lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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*why |
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"After reading this thread, I’m convinced the Op is trolling.....
No waman that looks great in her pics , could have so many men problems in real life...
This has to be a wind up.....
"
Actually, you'd be surprised. I've yet to meet a "stunner" who hasn't had men problems.
They're often seen as trophies, something to own not loved. Unless there's more to offer than pretty looks men often treat them badly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to say, you've can't complain about this scenario. He's done exactly the same as you did to him. If I'm reading right, you basically told him you couldn't be arsed to get dressed to go and meet him.
Any wonder he went out and arranged to meet someone else?
If the roles had been reversed, you'd have been on here ripping into "how dare he not be arsed to meet ME!". With the resulting thread running along the lines of 'what an aresole" from everyone."
Nailed it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This guy has listened to you talk about meeting others, and you arranging another meet as a back up.
They have accepted your invitation to be the back up and still talks to you after being cancelled at the last minute (for all he knows your previous arrangement may have materialised and you chose them instead).
They have been honest and more than fair with you. Even answered your interrogation about their meet which frankly is none of your business, esp after only chatting for a short period of time and (I assume) on a swingers site.
On top if that he is being portrayed as an arsehole in the forum for all to see and comment about.
Your reaction is spiteful? petty and hypocritical. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also women want what they cant have |
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"Sorry to say, you've can't complain about this scenario. He's done exactly the same as you did to him. If I'm reading right, you basically told him you couldn't be arsed to get dressed to go and meet him.
Any wonder he went out and arranged to meet someone else?
If the roles had been reversed, you'd have been on here ripping into "how dare he not be arsed to meet ME!". With the resulting thread running along the lines of 'what an aresole" from everyone."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Isn’t this a swinging site? People play with lots of people and have fun, can’t see what’s the issue really, you’d not even met and you hadn’t agreed to be exclusive, swinging is just fun |
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"I really don't get the Ops problem. She tells a bloke she has plans to meet someone else and he tells her the same.
If I was him I'd be scratching my head as to what I was supposed to have done wrong.
I completely get what she means about not wanting to feel she's just the next in line/the "conveyer belt" mentality though. Surely none of us likes to feel that we're simply disposable? It's a matter of manners/etiquette not to make someone feel like this"
But she told him he was plan b!  |
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"Also women want what they cant have"
Not all women. Some are quite happy with what they have, like having fun and drama free lives. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After reading this thread, I’m convinced the Op is trolling.....
No waman that looks great in her pics , could have so many men problems in real life...
This has to be a wind up.....
Who do looks have to mean you have no man problems? "
I know it’s a bizarre thought process.
Low & behold the hottie might have to make way for a women in a “lower league”  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After reading this thread, I’m convinced the Op is trolling.....
No waman that looks great in her pics , could have so many men problems in real life...
This has to be a wind up.....
Actually, you'd be surprised. I've yet to meet a "stunner" who hasn't had men problems.
They're often seen as trophies, something to own not loved. Unless there's more to offer than pretty looks men often treat them badly. "
Very true. Looks can only get you so far. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Sorry to say, you've can't complain about this scenario. He's done exactly the same as you did to him. If I'm reading right, you basically told him you couldn't be arsed to get dressed to go and meet him.
Any wonder he went out and arranged to meet someone else?
If the roles had been reversed, you'd have been on here ripping into "how dare he not be arsed to meet ME!". With the resulting thread running along the lines of 'what an aresole" from everyone.
"
What makes me chuckle are the posts from guys saying "how dare he?" and similar from single guys.
If anyone ever needed an example of white knighting or why guys are permissive in being messed around, it's this thread. |
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"Frankly I'm amazed that this guy is still hanging around!
Firstly he was your plan B, then you cancelled on him just because you couldn't be bothered. This poor guy must feel so completely insignificant to you!
Personally I wouldn't consider meeting anyone who wasn't actively eager to meet me, you've given him three reasons to consider that you couldn't give a toss, the last being that you can't be arsed to arrange another meet.
As for your reaction to what he's told you? He's only done what you did to him. This is a swingers site, if I'm chatting to someone and met someone else then I'd pay them the courtesy of letting them know beforehand.
I do think you're attitude on this is rather hypocritical and pretty poor. Treat other people like you want to be treated, not like objects you pick up or put down whenever you want"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to say, you've can't complain about this scenario. He's done exactly the same as you did to him. If I'm reading right, you basically told him you couldn't be arsed to get dressed to go and meet him.
Any wonder he went out and arranged to meet someone else?
If the roles had been reversed, you'd have been on here ripping into "how dare he not be arsed to meet ME!". With the resulting thread running along the lines of 'what an aresole" from everyone.
What makes me chuckle are the posts from guys saying "how dare he?" and similar from single guys.
If anyone ever needed an example of white knighting or why guys are permissive in being messed around, it's this thread. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm honest. If a man asked to meet and I was meeting someone else, if he asked what I was doing I would, and have told him. It's no secret and I don't go into details. I just say I'm meeting someone instead of lying and saying I'm babysitting or going drinking.
If they can't handle that I'm seeing other men it's better they knew from the beginning. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After reading this thread, I’m convinced the Op is trolling.....
No waman that looks great in her pics , could have so many men problems in real life...
This has to be a wind up.....
Who do looks have to mean you have no man problems?
I know it’s a bizarre thought process.
Low & behold the hottie might have to make way for a women in a “lower league”
You’re much smarter than this.......
Well I must have woken up on the dumb side of bed as I’m not seeing what else you mean..  "
The guy was just trying to get in her pants not making a serious point... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After reading this thread, I’m convinced the Op is trolling.....
No waman that looks great in her pics , could have so many men problems in real life...
This has to be a wind up.....
Actually, you'd be surprised. I've yet to meet a "stunner" who hasn't had men problems.
They're often seen as trophies, something to own not loved. Unless there's more to offer than pretty looks men often treat them badly.
This is very true in the real world.... on Fab , I call bs..."
You don't think men on here are looking for trophy sex?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm honest. If a man asked to meet and I was meeting someone else, if he asked what I was doing I would, and have told him. It's no secret and I don't go into details. I just say I'm meeting someone instead of lying and saying I'm babysitting or going drinking.
If they can't handle that I'm seeing other men it's better they knew from the beginning. "
It’s the best way. I met someone last Sunday and someone else on the Tuesday. They asked what I had been up to and I was honest. They will only see it in a veri anyway and prefer to be up front. I like the same back. |
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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Say you’ve been speaking to someone with a view to meeting, why would you then tell that person that you’re meeting another woman (or man) and would fuck if the opportunity arose?
Like why does the other person need to know this and how would you handle it?
Pissed me off to be honest. It’s like I’m taking a ticket and waiting in line for my turn. This close to blocking him. "
If you don't like it then block him. Simple
But you did the same thing to him.
So I'd imagine he spoke openly just as you have.
I really don't think you should be making mountains out of mole hills with regards to this situation on a swingers site.
People meet other people and aren't just talking to you exclusively, with the amount of profiles you've had on here over the years OP I thought you'd you this by now.
If it's not what you want then you don't have to accept it. Just block and move on if you want. Talking to him about other meets and then not liking when he does the same is kind of a one way street to boost your ego. Maybe a dating site would be easier for you to handle as people there don't mention other dates as much to avoid spoiling the illusion of possibly wanting a relationship.
It's all about how you handle your reaction to the situation |
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me.
You look hot as hell and pure lush the guys a arse to drop you your off the scale and to walk away from you the nutter
Other woman could be even hotter, we don’t know. She better be if he meets her over me. "
wow... he hasn't met her over you... you cancelled meeting him and he met someone else later on.. or planned to... this is a swing site... did you miss the memo...
I get guys getting arsey all the time when I can't meet them because I've already got plans to meet others . I had a guy recently that a meet did not go a head for genuine reasons who is now not impressed that I've met several others... he is heading for the block button..
I don't go out of my way to tell people but it is obvious when my status says so or my veries pop up. So I don't lie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm honest. If a man asked to meet and I was meeting someone else, if he asked what I was doing I would, and have told him. It's no secret and I don't go into details. I just say I'm meeting someone instead of lying and saying I'm babysitting or going drinking.
If they can't handle that I'm seeing other men it's better they knew from the beginning.
It’s the best way. I met someone last Sunday and someone else on the Tuesday. They asked what I had been up to and I was honest. They will only see it in a veri anyway and prefer to be up front. I like the same back. "
I'm happy to be told someone I'm chatting to has met another woman (or man); I'm on a swinging site, I expect it. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
I'd rather he told me tbh than have them lie then see a new veri, that would really enjoy me. I know it's fab swingers but there's a little thing called respect.
Also if I'm chatting to a guy I kind of expect them to be chattingto other women!!
(Haven't read the whole thread, apologies if I'm repeating someone) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haven't read the whole thread just the OP but for me personally I would rather know. For example I rarely meet, when I do I prefer a regular meet to happen. If they had a list of meets then it would help me decide if I want to meet them or not.
I have a FB/regular meet on here, we chat daily, he meets others, I have said to him I would rather know when hes meeting because
1. I won't embarress myself asking to meet him when he has plans.
2. I wont message him when I know he's with another
3. I won't see the Veri and think oh charming I could have seen him then.
So for me I would rather know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some girls get off on it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a swinger site of course he is going to meet other  |
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By *am4CamWoman
over a year ago
Fairy Land |
You cancelled him, he politely informed you he had another social lined up. You’ve got the hump because he dared to consider there are other women than your amazing self to have a cuppa with. Do you honestly expect him to put everything on hold until you deign to squeeze a window of time into your life to meet him? Really? |
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Ok let me see now .
The op had a meet lined up for the Sunday but the guy had gone quiet . So she chatted with another guy on Saturday , told him that she had a meet lined up for Sunday and the guy had gone quiet so she asks the new guy if he wants to meet her instead . When it comes to the meet , she cancels , and he later says he may have a meet later in the week .
And he’s the bad guy ?
I’ve said before that the op is on the wrong site , and if the truth be known , she knows that . But this underlines why she is , as it’s perfectly clear that she’s in the wrong here . If I was the bloke I would be blocking her and moving on to someone who wanted to meet me and not be messing me about . He was second choice and she blew him out anyway , why put such little value on yourself ?
Yes she’s fit , but all I see is trouble ahead for anyone meeting someone on a swinging site with the ops mentality regarding swinging . |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"Sorry to say, you've can't complain about this scenario. He's done exactly the same as you did to him. If I'm reading right, you basically told him you couldn't be arsed to get dressed to go and meet him.
Any wonder he went out and arranged to meet someone else?
If the roles had been reversed, you'd have been on here ripping into "how dare he not be arsed to meet ME!". With the resulting thread running along the lines of 'what an aresole" from everyone.
What makes me chuckle are the posts from guys saying "how dare he?" and similar from single guys.
If anyone ever needed an example of white knighting or why guys are permissive in being messed around, it's this thread.
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I'm not sure Kitana got the reaction on here she was expecting. There is a serious case of hypocrisy in her expectations. The term "have your cake and eat it" comes to mind. This is not a solitary case nor is it restricted to singles. Have seen the same problem even within swinging couples where one partner's insecurities cause issues when they want to be non monogamous but impose restrictions on the other.
By it's very nature this site isn't very compatible with jealousy or insecure personalities if not handled correctly.
OP, you are obviously an intelligent lady, time to take a step back and assess the situation. Remember that you may not be the centre of the world for every guy you talk to. Unless things move way forward you are still just another notch on a bedpost.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In response to the original question here is my 2p's worth.
I have met and been chatting with a lady on herr for nearly a year. The first person i connected with from here in fact. We have become rather good friends i feel. It does not bother me, if bother is the right word, that she meets others and although we have never discussed it, i do not feel that me meeting others bothers her. We ask each other how was your weekend or spa day or club night etc and dish the dirt. Not in graphic detail but enough.
Now if it was with somebody i hadnt even met yet but was keen too i dont think it would alter. This is a swinging site, i dont really want to know if the woman iam meeting has slept with every male on the planet but it is a possibility and one iam prepared for. I personelly do not see it as being second best. More a case of appetiser before the main course |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do whatever feels right to you. Agreed this place isn't monogamy central and we all know we are meeting other people but we don't necessarily want our noses rubbed in it. The best, most successful men on here know this and treat women as unique, special individuals "
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me.
You look hot as hell and pure lush the guys a arse to drop you your off the scale and to walk away from you the nutter
Other woman could be even hotter, we don’t know. She better be if he meets her over me. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah there's just no need. Why does he think you'd want to know?
Fuck knows. I said off the cuff Saturday night that I was supposed to be meeting someone tomorrow (Sunday) but not heard off him and jokingly said do you want to meet. He said yeah and Sunday came and I wasn’t really feeling getting dressed so said I was having a chill day but let’s arrange something in the week.
Now I’m told that its because I’d let them down Sunday and they’ve only been speaking for a fucking day. It’s jokes. Like if they’re gonna do it then do it silently, I really didn’t need to know. "
So unless I read this wrong, you asked a guy if he wanted to meet and you both agreed, then because you didn't feel like getting dressed you cancelled on that morning? I suppose he was only plan B so doesn't matter much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me.
You look hot as hell and pure lush the guys a arse to drop you your off the scale and to walk away from you the nutter
Other woman could be even hotter, we don’t know. She better be if he meets her over me. "
Why does she HAVE to be hotter? She could be more interesting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me.
You look hot as hell and pure lush the guys a arse to drop you your off the scale and to walk away from you the nutter
Other woman could be even hotter, we don’t know. She better be if he meets her over me.
Why does she HAVE to be hotter? She could be more interesting. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me.
You look hot as hell and pure lush the guys a arse to drop you your off the scale and to walk away from you the nutter
Other woman could be even hotter, we don’t know. She better be if he meets her over me.
Why does she HAVE to be hotter? She could be more interesting. "
I’m guessing that’s how the bar is set. |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"Say you’ve been speaking to someone with a view to meeting, why would you then tell that person that you’re meeting another woman (or man) and would fuck if the opportunity arose?
Like why does the other person need to know this and how would you handle it?
Pissed me off to be honest. It’s like I’m taking a ticket and waiting in line for my turn. This close to blocking him. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah there's just no need. Why does he think you'd want to know?
Fuck knows. I said off the cuff Saturday night that I was supposed to be meeting someone tomorrow (Sunday) but not heard off him and jokingly said do you want to meet. He said yeah and Sunday came and I wasn’t really feeling getting dressed so said I was having a chill day but let’s arrange something in the week.
Now I’m told that its because I’d let them down Sunday and they’ve only been speaking for a fucking day. It’s jokes. Like if they’re gonna do it then do it silently, I really didn’t need to know.
So unless I read this wrong, you asked a guy if he wanted to meet and you both agreed, then because you didn't feel like getting dressed you cancelled on that morning? I suppose he was only plan B so doesn't matter much."
I only just read through the post...lmao. I just say it as it is I guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me.
You look hot as hell and pure lush the guys a arse to drop you your off the scale and to walk away from you the nutter
Other woman could be even hotter, we don’t know. She better be if he meets her over me.
Why does she HAVE to be hotter? She could be more interesting.
I’m guessing that’s how the bar is set."
Only for some. Not everyone assesses others by the same bar. Beauty is seen in different ways, measured differently and priorities are different. Thankfully.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Say you’ve been speaking to someone with a view to meeting, why would you then tell that person that you’re meeting another woman (or man) and would fuck if the opportunity arose?
Like why does the other person need to know this and how would you handle it?
Pissed me off to be honest. It’s like I’m taking a ticket and waiting in line for my turn. This close to blocking him.
OP I could understand being annoyed if you were chatting on a dating site but fab is different - the whole point is non-monogamy so them meeting others is to be expected. You are only meeting for a shag and not to discuss wedding plans!"
Totally agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would prefer to know at least he's been honest. Which then gives you the opportunity to decide if you wish to continue. At that point I would probably say I dont think we are on the same page etc. I only treat people how I would like to be treated though. He wouldn't be for me that's for sure.
However he has treated you the same as you him so I'm sure sure what you expect really. You have received what you give out back and maybe you dont like it.
It's a case of do as I do...
Honestly is the best policy.
I agree, surly the point of a site like this is to be able to have multiple partners, without the need to lie or cover up, I'd value the honesty and want details to how it went.
"
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I hate blind veris. Like don’t pretend your not meeting other people, and that’s cool but let me know so I don’t feel blindsighted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Say you’ve been speaking to someone with a view to meeting, why would you then tell that person that you’re meeting another woman (or man) and would fuck if the opportunity arose?
Like why does the other person need to know this and how would you handle it?
Pissed me off to be honest. It’s like I’m taking a ticket and waiting in line for my turn. This close to blocking him.
OP I could understand being annoyed if you were chatting on a dating site but fab is different - the whole point is non-monogamy so them meeting others is to be expected. You are only meeting for a shag and not to discuss wedding plans!
Totally agree "
Even on dating sites we do the same. Multi dating is pretty normal here in London. |
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"
She better be if he meets her over me. "
Ouch - that sounds a bit arrogant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me.
You look hot as hell and pure lush the guys a arse to drop you your off the scale and to walk away from you the nutter
Other woman could be even hotter, we don’t know. She better be if he meets her over me.
Why does she HAVE to be hotter? She could be more interesting. "
Or more available. I don't wait around for a man who isn't available when I am. It's why I have more than one regular partner. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Why does the other person need to know about other people? They don't. I quite enjoy hearing about it; it helps with a connection, I find it hot, it sates my curiosity. Sometimes I have felt a bit before but that's my own insecurity stepping up.
In the nicest way Op, I really don't see this site and you as harmonising. Well, not for meeting men. I think the her having to be hotter comment is probably tinged with bitter.
You can always explain that you'd rather not hear about things early on in the conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me.
You look hot as hell and pure lush the guys a arse to drop you your off the scale and to walk away from you the nutter
Other woman could be even hotter, we don’t know. She better be if he meets her over me.
Why does she HAVE to be hotter? She could be more interesting.
Or more available. I don't wait around for a man who isn't available when I am. It's why I have more than one regular partner. "
Availability is the most important thing. Oh and reliability. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me.
You look hot as hell and pure lush the guys a arse to drop you your off the scale and to walk away from you the nutter
Other woman could be even hotter, we don’t know. She better be if he meets her over me.
Why does she HAVE to be hotter? She could be more interesting. "
Or not pissing him about.
Frankly if someone behaved to me like the OP did to that guy then I'd be gone. |
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"I see what you mean about the veri thing and I did say are you gonna fuck her and it’s supposed to be for coffee but would if the opportunity came up. It’s basically saying you’re second best which does not sit well with me.
You look hot as hell and pure lush the guys a arse to drop you your off the scale and to walk away from you the nutter
Other woman could be even hotter, we don’t know. She better be if he meets her over me.
Why does she HAVE to be hotter? She could be more interesting.
Or more available. I don't wait around for a man who isn't available when I am. It's why I have more than one regular partner. "
Indeed, if I physically fancied person A more than person B, but person A messed me around whilst Person B didn't, I meet the latter.
It's a no brainer. |
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I do love the people on this site some time the straight talking to its brilliant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Say you’ve been speaking to someone with a view to meeting, why would you then tell that person that you’re meeting another woman (or man) and would fuck if the opportunity arose?
Like why does the other person need to know this and how would you handle it?
Pissed me off to be honest. It’s like I’m taking a ticket and waiting in line for my turn. This close to blocking him. "
'this close to blocking him' sounds like you are going to put up with his antics ?? |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Yeah there's just no need. Why does he think you'd want to know?
Fuck knows. I said off the cuff Saturday night that I was supposed to be meeting someone tomorrow (Sunday) but not heard off him and jokingly said do you want to meet. He said yeah and Sunday came and I wasn’t really feeling getting dressed so said I was having a chill day but let’s arrange something in the week.
Now I’m told that its because I’d let them down Sunday and they’ve only been speaking for a fucking day. It’s jokes. Like if they’re gonna do it then do it silently, I really didn’t need to know. "
Maybe he did the same as you and said it off the cuff. Do you think he might have been feeling like you when you did it to him?
Either way, people meet for sex on here, it shouldn't be a surprise. If he wasn't doing an off the cuff remark like you had, then would may have been pissed if he hadn't said anything and then got a new veri. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Say you’ve been speaking to someone with a view to meeting, why would you then tell that person that you’re meeting another woman (or man) and would fuck if the opportunity arose?
Like why does the other person need to know this and how would you handle it?
Pissed me off to be honest. It’s like I’m taking a ticket and waiting in line for my turn. This close to blocking him.
'this close to blocking him' sounds like you are going to put up with his antics ??"
His antics?! Which are what? Being on a swinger site and planning a meet with someone else? God forbid. I’ve had many antics if that’s the case. And so have the men I’ve met. |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
I think the guy did the right thing in telling the OP if the opportunity came up he would have sex with the other lady as stated earlier would the OP have liked to see it as a verification.As for some suggestions the OP would be better off on a dating site instead of Fabs from my experiences and what I have read on this thread there is not that much difference between Fabs and dating sites when it comes to chatting and arranging to meet up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Say you’ve been speaking to someone with a view to meeting, why would you then tell that person that you’re meeting another woman (or man) and would fuck if the opportunity arose?
Like why does the other person need to know this and how would you handle it?
Pissed me off to be honest. It’s like I’m taking a ticket and waiting in line for my turn. This close to blocking him.
OP I could understand being annoyed if you were chatting on a dating site but fab is different - the whole point is non-monogamy so them meeting others is to be expected. You are only meeting for a shag and not to discuss wedding plans!"
This |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If someone said do you want to meet instead but then didn’t make any concrete plans or agree times or anything like that then I wouldn’t get bent out of shape about it. Like the guy I was supposed to be meeting Sunday, nothing was concrete it was just yeah Sunday would be a good day, not hear anything for 2 days I’d assume it wasn’t going to happen.
I didn’t say yes I will meet you we’ll meet at so and so place and at this time. But everyone is going to see the negative cos it’s me, I expected that.
I still think that if you’re talking to multiple people and one of those is clear that they aren’t just after a fuck, if that was your end game I’d personally keep that quiet from the bird that isn’t just looking for a fuck. That’s just my opinion. I didn’t need to know. I wouldn’t have known if they kept it quiet and didn’t display the veri.
This is exactly why I’ve not had sex for 14 months or wanted to meet people. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
It's no wonder men feel they can't win sometimes on here.
I'd be glad he told me and understand if I'd cancelled him already. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone said do you want to meet instead but then didn’t make any concrete plans or agree times or anything like that then I wouldn’t get bent out of shape about it. Like the guy I was supposed to be meeting Sunday, nothing was concrete it was just yeah Sunday would be a good day, not hear anything for 2 days I’d assume it wasn’t going to happen.
I didn’t say yes I will meet you we’ll meet at so and so place and at this time. But everyone is going to see the negative cos it’s me, I expected that.
I still think that if you’re talking to multiple people and one of those is clear that they aren’t just after a fuck, if that was your end game I’d personally keep that quiet from the bird that isn’t just looking for a fuck. That’s just my opinion. I didn’t need to know. I wouldn’t have known if they kept it quiet and didn’t display the veri.
This is exactly why I’ve not had sex for 14 months or wanted to meet people. "
Why should they keep the veri secret and not display it? If you are friends or they are on your hotlist, you would see that they had received a veri as comes up on the status page. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe it’s s test to see how you react to them meeting others ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah there's just no need. Why does he think you'd want to know?
Fuck knows. I said off the cuff Saturday night that I was supposed to be meeting someone tomorrow (Sunday) but not heard off him and jokingly said do you want to meet. He said yeah and Sunday came and I wasn’t really feeling getting dressed so said I was having a chill day but let’s arrange something in the week.
Now I’m told that its because I’d let them down Sunday and they’ve only been speaking for a fucking day. It’s jokes. Like if they’re gonna do it then do it silently, I really didn’t need to know.
Maybe he did the same as you and said it off the cuff. Do you think he might have been feeling like you when you did it to him?
Either way, people meet for sex on here, it shouldn't be a surprise. If he wasn't doing an off the cuff remark like you had, then would may have been pissed if he hadn't said anything and then got a new veri."
Yeah but I said I wasn’t feeling a meet that day because I was having a chill day and doing my housework and ironing. I didn’t tell the dude that I was going to meet someone else instead.
If a bloke said oh we should meet tomorrow but then said actually it’s a bit short notice I’ve got stuff to do, need to get all my uniform ready for the week and do my housework but let’s meet in the week I wouldn’t think that he’s blowing me off for another bird, I’d be like yeah it’s a Sunday it’s exactly what I do on a Sunday, iron my kids uniform for the week, do housework have my dinner and chill.
Honestly you lot are like vultures, genuine. You all know I rarely meet people so I’m not putting it about and letting guys down left right and centre, you’d know that for me to even want to meet this guy I’d already think he was special.
Maybe I shouldn’t be on here anymore. Even the forums which are the whole reason I stayed so long have just got so nasty. Everyone is just real nasty, bring up other shit and it’s like is it really necessary to bring up other shit why not just answer the topic being discussed and leave it at that. |
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Depending who I was talking with,
If it was a friend who I was meeting I would tell her I also had another meet arranged this week, But someone who I had just started talking with I would wait to see if she asked what my plans were this week then tell her, To be honest its none of her business who and when I meet but having nothing to hide I would tell her,
Its her choice if she still wants to meet then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a swinging sex meet site..people get let down all the time..just probably edging his bets.no one is exclusive to anyone.. |
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By *sm81Couple
over a year ago
warwickshire |
You wanted peoples opinions and they have given them, unfortunately you don't like what's been said in regards to the situation |
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"Yeah there's just no need. Why does he think you'd want to know?
Fuck knows. I said off the cuff Saturday night that I was supposed to be meeting someone tomorrow (Sunday) but not heard off him and jokingly said do you want to meet. He said yeah and Sunday came and I wasn’t really feeling getting dressed so said I was having a chill day but let’s arrange something in the week.
Now I’m told that its because I’d let them down Sunday and they’ve only been speaking for a fucking day. It’s jokes. Like if they’re gonna do it then do it silently, I really didn’t need to know.
Maybe he did the same as you and said it off the cuff. Do you think he might have been feeling like you when you did it to him?
Either way, people meet for sex on here, it shouldn't be a surprise. If he wasn't doing an off the cuff remark like you had, then would may have been pissed if he hadn't said anything and then got a new veri.
Yeah but I said I wasn’t feeling a meet that day because I was having a chill day and doing my housework and ironing. I didn’t tell the dude that I was going to meet someone else instead.
If a bloke said oh we should meet tomorrow but then said actually it’s a bit short notice I’ve got stuff to do, need to get all my uniform ready for the week and do my housework but let’s meet in the week I wouldn’t think that he’s blowing me off for another bird, I’d be like yeah it’s a Sunday it’s exactly what I do on a Sunday, iron my kids uniform for the week, do housework have my dinner and chill.
Honestly you lot are like vultures, genuine. You all know I rarely meet people so I’m not putting it about and letting guys down left right and centre, you’d know that for me to even want to meet this guy I’d already think he was special.
Maybe I shouldn’t be on here anymore. Even the forums which are the whole reason I stayed so long have just got so nasty. Everyone is just real nasty, bring up other shit and it’s like is it really necessary to bring up other shit why not just answer the topic being discussed and leave it at that. "
Perhaps it's not other people being nasty , but your behaviour being wrong.
As lots of people have said, it's a swingers site. You treated this guy in a casual way and he did the same to you.
If you can't deal with that, you're right. You shouldn't be here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Horses for course OP. If he told you and you were cool about it then its not an issue. But he has no way of knowing that until its said.
Or he says to you before hand
"So, you sexy gorgeous lady, just want you to know that if you let me down on a meet i will, as a member of FAB (not fabs - pet hate) try and arrange another meet where i may get lucky and have sex are you ok with this? If you let me down, that is?"
Its not going to happen. If i was fortunate enough to have the conversation with you and get to "lets meet" status then wild horses wouldnt stop me from being there. And then if you cancelled i too would be actively looking again. Am i supposed to leave the site?
Or have i missed the point here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ta daaaaaaaaa |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"If someone said do you want to meet instead but then didn’t make any concrete plans or agree times or anything like that then I wouldn’t get bent out of shape about it. Like the guy I was supposed to be meeting Sunday, nothing was concrete it was just yeah Sunday would be a good day, not hear anything for 2 days I’d assume it wasn’t going to happen.
I didn’t say yes I will meet you we’ll meet at so and so place and at this time. But everyone is going to see the negative cos it’s me, I expected that.
I still think that if you’re talking to multiple people and one of those is clear that they aren’t just after a fuck, if that was your end game I’d personally keep that quiet from the bird that isn’t just looking for a fuck. That’s just my opinion. I didn’t need to know. I wouldn’t have known if they kept it quiet and didn’t display the veri.
This is exactly why I’ve not had sex for 14 months or wanted to meet people. "
Obviously you're going to see differences or reasoning as to why what you did is OK. Playing the 'because it's me' card though is ridiculous.
At the very least you strung this guy along, you treated him poorly and then have the audacity to complain about his reaction. Dismissing the criticism as being 'because its you' is ignorant at best.
Time and again you've posted threads about guys messing you around. For you to do this to someone else, when you know exactly how it feels is rather lacking in empathy and frankly rather distasteful.
I'm not going to say that you're on the wrong site, it's a free world, however, I do think that your attitude and approach to others and yourself is highly questionable.
I like a lot about you OP but in this you're just wrong and showing yourself and your attitude towards others in a very poor light. |
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"Hmmm.....
Take any truly stunning woman you know in real life , then ask yourself....
Does she usually have this many problems and questions about men and their intentions...
Does she constantly seek this much attention?
I’ve read all her threads.... and
She is either trolling everyone or she stole those pics and that is not her.....
I’ll go with her trolling you guys...
1) I’m not a truly stunning woman I’m just your normal person that they’d see out and about.
2)I do question everything because I like opinions I like trying to figure out how people think. I over analyse, sometimes it’s handy most times it’s not.
3)Peoples definition of attention seeking is different to mine. I post mainly when I have a question, I don’t post dozens of threads a day or do the rate me threads or the kiss fuck swerve threads. I’m an opinion seeker rather than an attention seeker.
4) I’m not trolling today, it’s a general question I was asking.
5) There’s only one person in this thread that has actually met me in person so if he’d do the honours in confirming I’m the person in my pictures that would be great.
In the nicest possible way, I think what people are finding difficult to understand is your incredible lack of self awareness.
You have a guy who you told is your second choice, you arrange to meet him and then blow him out on the flimsiest of reasons. You then get all upset when he tells you he has a meet with someone else.
Can you not see how unreasonable that is? "
Unfortunately, it's apparent she can't. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Yeah there's just no need. Why does he think you'd want to know?
Fuck knows. I said off the cuff Saturday night that I was supposed to be meeting someone tomorrow (Sunday) but not heard off him and jokingly said do you want to meet. He said yeah and Sunday came and I wasn’t really feeling getting dressed so said I was having a chill day but let’s arrange something in the week.
Now I’m told that its because I’d let them down Sunday and they’ve only been speaking for a fucking day. It’s jokes. Like if they’re gonna do it then do it silently, I really didn’t need to know.
Maybe he did the same as you and said it off the cuff. Do you think he might have been feeling like you when you did it to him?
Either way, people meet for sex on here, it shouldn't be a surprise. If he wasn't doing an off the cuff remark like you had, then would may have been pissed if he hadn't said anything and then got a new veri.
Yeah but I said I wasn’t feeling a meet that day because I was having a chill day and doing my housework and ironing. I didn’t tell the dude that I was going to meet someone else instead.
If a bloke said oh we should meet tomorrow but then said actually it’s a bit short notice I’ve got stuff to do, need to get all my uniform ready for the week and do my housework but let’s meet in the week I wouldn’t think that he’s blowing me off for another bird, I’d be like yeah it’s a Sunday it’s exactly what I do on a Sunday, iron my kids uniform for the week, do housework have my dinner and chill.
Honestly you lot are like vultures, genuine. You all know I rarely meet people so I’m not putting it about and letting guys down left right and centre, you’d know that for me to even want to meet this guy I’d already think he was special.
Maybe I shouldn’t be on here anymore. Even the forums which are the whole reason I stayed so long have just got so nasty. Everyone is just real nasty, bring up other shit and it’s like is it really necessary to bring up other shit why not just answer the topic being discussed and leave it at that. "
I said you are the same as him for saying you were meant to be meeting someone but it might not be happening so did he want to meet instead. He might be feeling the same as you as in feeling second best. I didn't mention anything about you cancelling the meet you arranged with this man. We always agreed at the start when we were meeting that either party can pull out at any minute without even giving a reason so your reason is as valid as any reason for me.
You can't ask for opinions and then call people vultures for airing their views, well you can but it just looks like you are throwing your toys out of your pram.
I agree to people bringing up other stuff to get at people on the forum, but for this thread I would say it just kept to for the most part answering the question, but I will read it again to make sure |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Ok after reading it again, there was only one post that needed removing ( although a few had quoted it so why a few have gone ) All the rest answered your question. I really don't think this was a vulture thread that can and does happen on here
If you don't want people giving their views then it might be best not to start a thread |
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