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If you could communicate with your pet, what would you say?
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Please will you stop scratching the carpet in the middle of the night, stop nicking my seat as soon as I stand up and for goodness sake just eat the one packet of chicken flavour food in the box. Oh and you bring a huge amount of pleasure into our life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not controling you and restricting your freedom because I'm a bad person. I simply worry because you seem to have no awareness of roads and social boundries. I know you want to run around killing everything so I feel you are a danger to yourself and others if I just let you go free. Show me some initiative and I might consider letting you go out alone and do your own thing" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do communicate with my dog. Right now I would probably be thanking him for being my friend and telling him I wish I could cure him, so that the cancer wont take him away...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d tell the cat I used to have-
Stop shagging my Tigger teddy bear, he really isn’t as into you, as you are him. "
most pet owners do talk to their cats and dogs and feel they understand but being a neultral onlooker I know certainly cats are creatures of habit they hear your foot on the stairs it's food time ,they hear front door open its food time ,they smell the fish coming out the oven it's food time |
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To one of them: for the love of god please stop spraying inside the house
To two of them: please eat what you catch *outside* so I don't keep stepping in piles of blood and gore
To all three: when you disappear for hours where do you go and what do you do? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd ask her if she was happy and in any discomfort, so I could do the best by her. I'd also reassure her that I'm coming back after work and there's no need to stress.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dog - Stop taking up the whole couch just because your a large bastard and stop fucking battering the cat!
Cat - Stop showing the dog your arse and sitting on his head!
Kitten - Stop mainlining Red Bull you hyperactive ball of fluff and tiny needles! |
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Explain to them about road safety.
Explain to them about not eating chocolate, grapes, etc.
Generally explain the restrictions they are given are for their own wellbeing.
Oh, and explain that there is no need to bark like crazy and jump up repeatedly when I pick up my keys, put on my boots and/or coat or pick up a lead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i think I am odd, I talk to my two ferrets all the time...
Told Hector of today for rubbing his balls on my broom head!
Really must get them chopped off..."
the broom heads? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Please stop taking up most of my bed...your a small dog! How do you manage it !
Also I can hear the noise and the door you don't need to alert me loudly and suddenly, coffee is to be d*unk not spilled with fright haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Doesn't everyone already talk to their pets? 
If I knew she could understand me I'd say:
"Mowzer, you're a knob. Standing on my head while I'm asleep and ripping mouthfuls of my hair out is bad sportsmanship. Also, you really don't need to show me you love me by eating your food. I know you're very proud of that skill, but I'm not going to give you extra praise just because you had an extra nibble. And when the middle bit of food in the bowl has run out, just move onto the ring around the edge. It's not hard" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I believe you can. When my dog was dying I felt like she knew exactly what I was telling her "
I believe that. One of my siblings lives near me. Her cat had never come to my house, then one day he came in and lay on my mat by the door. I rang to tell her he was at mine. After a while he went home. The next day he passed away. It was eerie. |
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I communicated with mine earlier via the medium of yelling at them from two fields away.
Two of my cheeky twats decided to take themselves for a walk while I was cleaning the ears of the other.
They knew with a look that they were confined to their bunks. My mastiff is now peaking round the sofa looking for any positive sign. If she gets it she’s gonna dive into her beanbag and remain all night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Doesn't everyone already talk to their pets?
If I knew she could understand me I'd say:
"Mowzer, you're a knob. Standing on my head while I'm asleep and ripping mouthfuls of my hair out is bad sportsmanship. Also, you really don't need to show me you love me by eating your food. I know you're very proud of that skill, but I'm not going to give you extra praise just because you had an extra nibble. And when the middle bit of food in the bowl has run out, just move onto the ring around the edge. It's not hard""
Nah, you have to shake it to make it look full again  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stop sleeping in the bathroom sink, it's just fucked up. Also, if you could NOT regularly bite the hand that feeds you it would be appreciated.
I love you best by the way. Yes, me! The others merely tolerate you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To my dog. You are more faithful and loving than any man I have ever met but your farts are ungodly! And looking round as if to blame someone else afterwards is just rude!
And even when you get me up 3 times in the night, you smelly old beast, I still love you, and will do right by you, however hard it might be for me, in the future x |
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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago
The South |
To number 1 cat - You're 15. You're not a kitten anymore. Grow the fuck up! And stop pestering me to turn the kitchen tap on so you have a drink from the sink every time I go into the kitchen.
To number 2 cat - I know you're poorly. I can see it in your behaviours. So can the doctor man we go to see all too regularly. But we can't find what's wrong with you, so if you could actually tell me, I'd help. I'm wondering if you're faking your illness because you actually like having the thermometer shoved up your arse you pervert.
Thank you for picking me from the rescue place. I love your kissy head butts.
To both of them - every day I pick up your toys from the floor and put them in the toy bucket. Which of you little arses gets them out every night and throws them all over the fucking floor again?
And thank you for giving me something to come home to every day.
M |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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did you see news this morning about 'snoop'dog abandoned, driver just drove away while snoop trying to see his master.in video/BBC news. I REALLY REALLY HATE PEOPLE LIKE THAT THE BAST*** (sorry for swearing ) glad snoops now sorted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.
I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.
I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.
He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...
And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.
I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....
I'm telling him I |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.
I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.
I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.
He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...
And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.
I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....
I'm telling him I "
*Sobbing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.
I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.
I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.
He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...
And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.
I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....
I'm telling him I "
bless him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do communicate with my dog. Right now I would probably be thanking him for being my friend and telling him I wish I could cure him, so that the cancer wont take him away... "
Oh my god  that’s so sad x big hug x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.
I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.
I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.
He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...
And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.
I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....
I'm telling him I "
And that’s me in tears... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.
I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.
I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.
He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...
And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.
I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....
I'm telling him I "
Oh that's heartbreaking. I'm losing my girl slowly, she's collie Cross and her back legs are going. I really don't know how I will cope without her. I honestly don't think some people understand the bond we have with our beloved pets. I don't have kids, so she's my baby. I hope the treatment gives him more time x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say
ffs everytime i get up to go into the kitchen its not to feed u u greedy little shit  i do tell her this everyday but she rarely listens and still follows me in there anyway  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.
I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.
I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.
He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...
And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.
I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....
I'm telling him I "
I'll bet he loves you every little bit as much right back and if he could, would thank you from the bottom of his heart for being there for him and he's not really fooled by the cake at all. But he loves it. x |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.
I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.
I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.
He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...
And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.
I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....
I'm telling him I "
And my heart is breaking for you  |
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"Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.
I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.
I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.
He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...
And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.
I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....
I'm telling him I "
I feel really guilty now for shouting at our pooch this morning. She’s allergic to everything & somehow managed to pull a lasagne off the worktop & eat it. I knew it would make her ill - and she was mid-morning. Luckily the glass dish didn’t break either.
Huge hugs to you & make the most of every minute xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To my German Shepherd
Stop pinching the crinkle windows from my post.
And stay out of the bathroom when I go for a poop. I really don't need company at that time in life. |
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"Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.
I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.
I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.
He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...
And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.
I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....
I'm telling him I "
He knows xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you can tell the time, (I get woke up by the pussy dogs a minute before the alarm
Goes off every morning) learn to use a calendar ...weekends are for sleeping in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had dogs before and brought up dogs a dog
But dog got now he just the best we all as family bonded with him love him im so close like never before and he my boy
Can totally relate some these heartbreaking stories and HUGE hugs to you all |
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(sensitive stomach Ragdoll here)