FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Women does it piss you off when random blokes tell you to smile ?
Women does it piss you off when random blokes tell you to smile ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yep
They don't know what my day has been like.
I'd be interested to know if many men have been told to smile by random women ? "
Or whether men say smile to other men, it doesn’t happen. I think it’s creepy when blokes say it to women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep
They don't know what my day has been like.
I'd be interested to know if many men have been told to smile by random women ?
Or whether men say smile to other men, it doesn’t happen. I think it’s creepy when blokes say it to women. "
It's really presumptuous and intrusive. I could be replaying last night's steamy hot kink fest in my head only to have it rudely interrupted by some gobby bloke. Totally inconsiderate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to get told by everyone to smile more, ‘smile it doesn’t hurt’ or ‘smile it won’t kill you’ I was happy inside I just didn’t need to be smiling like a twat all the time! Plus also my ex husband used to say when I smiled I looked like I was sniffing a shit so you know, kinda makes you wary!
Danish x |
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Yeah, last time two days after my dad’s funeral. I was walking through town and approached by a bloke doing some charity or other. I ignored him so he told me to smile. I told him to fuck right off before walking home with tears rolling down my cheeks. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah, last time two days after my dad’s funeral. I was walking through town and approached by a bloke doing some charity or other. I ignored him so he told me to smile. I told him to fuck right off before walking home with tears rolling down my cheeks."
m
It’s something that makes me cringe when I here it said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh dear.
I’m a fucker for it with bar staff.
“Anything else sir?”
“Just a smile please”
In my defence it matters not which sex the server is and if they flash their teeth I always buy them a drink  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep
They don't know what my day has been like.
I'd be interested to know if many men have been told to smile by random women ? "
I have, many times.
But I do have a pissed off resting face  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah, last time two days after my dad’s funeral. I was walking through town and approached by a bloke doing some charity or other. I ignored him so he told me to smile. I told him to fuck right off before walking home with tears rolling down my cheeks."
  |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"A bloke at work said "smile it might never happen" to a colleague on a Monday morning.
She slapped him so hard and said "it already has" !!
Not being office based I never found out the full story."
Someone said that to me once after a particularly rough time, I said 'how do you know it already hasn't you bleeping bleep head'.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd be interested to see if man who does this will come on here to explain the thought processes behind the action. It would ever occur to approach a stranger do this. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd be interested to see if man who does this will come on here to explain the thought processes behind the action. It would ever occur to approach a stranger do this. "
Yeah, I’d like to know the thinking behind it. I think it’s a subconscious power thing, but what do I know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Any request to smile is usually made by a miserable looking article who looks like someone had pissed on his chips.
50 shades of resting bitch face her matey, like it or lump it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it's mildly irritating - I'm usually smiling, but when I'm concentrating or lost in thought I have a 'resting bitch face'. Doesn't mean I'm a miserable cow  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why do people randomly say “smile”..?! They have no idea how that person is feeling.
“Smile, it might never happen”....I remember that being said to me a day after my mum died,I don’t think he was expecting the retort he received...... |
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Yeah, 'Cheer up luv, it might never happen' is actually bloody ignorant and I hate it. Like, how the hell your facial expression is anyone else's business? ... and particularly a total stranger who has no idea what's going on in your life, or what you're thinking in that moment. This is then compounded if you a) ignore them and/or b) bite back and *they* then profess to be offended, as if you're in the wrong.
What gets me is that the type of idiot who behaves like this would never usually dare to say the same thing to another guy. It's so sexist. |
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"No, because it's always meant in jest /friendly
I don't understand all the hate and anger. They are just showing they care."
Hopefully your comment was tongue in cheek because when a random bloke bellows across the street at me that I'm a 'stuck up bitch' (or similar) since I didn't immediately and obediently respond to his uninvited request to 'smile', it certainly doesn't feel like there's much caring going on! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No, because it's always meant in jest /friendly
I don't understand all the hate and anger. They are just showing they care."
If it’s so well intended and caring, why don’t men say smile to other men ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not enough smiles and laughter in the world and it’s far to serious a smile can lift the crapest of days for most people appear from the ones that like to wallow in self pity and be a Victim.
I have been low in the past and a freindly smile male or female and a smile returned makes a world of diffrence,
I know why don’t we go and try it today and see if we can all make some one smile.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not enough smiles and laughter in the world and it’s far to serious a smile can lift the crapest of days for most people appear from the ones that like to wallow in self pity and be a Victim.
I have been low in the past and a freindly smile male or female and a smile returned makes a world of diffrence,
I know why don’t we go and try it today and see if we can all make some one smile. "
Trying to make someone smile because you care about them is very different to demanding smiles from a stranger who you know nothing about.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, because it's always meant in jest /friendly
I don't understand all the hate and anger. They are just showing they care.
Hopefully your comment was tongue in cheek because when a random bloke bellows across the street at me that I'm a 'stuck up bitch' (or similar) since I didn't immediately and obediently respond to his uninvited request to 'smile', it certainly doesn't feel like there's much caring going on!"
Yes that's exactly the same as someone just saying "smile" in a friendly way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not enough smiles and laughter in the world and it’s far to serious a smile can lift the crapest of days for most people appear from the ones that like to wallow in self pity and be a Victim.
I have been low in the past and a freindly smile male or female and a smile returned makes a world of diffrence,
I know why don’t we go and try it today and see if we can all make some one smile. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, because it's always meant in jest /friendly
I don't understand all the hate and anger. They are just showing they care.
Hopefully your comment was tongue in cheek because when a random bloke bellows across the street at me that I'm a 'stuck up bitch' (or similar) since I didn't immediately and obediently respond to his uninvited request to 'smile', it certainly doesn't feel like there's much caring going on!"
Blimey, he should have taken his own advice. Maybe he was having a shit day. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No, because it's always meant in jest /friendly
I don't understand all the hate and anger. They are just showing they care.
Hopefully your comment was tongue in cheek because when a random bloke bellows across the street at me that I'm a 'stuck up bitch' (or similar) since I didn't immediately and obediently respond to his uninvited request to 'smile', it certainly doesn't feel like there's much caring going on!
Yes that's exactly the same as someone just saying "smile" in a friendly way. "
I think you’re being deliberately obtuse in this thread to go against the grain, to get a rise out of other woman. You do it quite a lot. |
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"No, because it's always meant in jest /friendly
I don't understand all the hate and anger. They are just showing they care.
Hopefully your comment was tongue in cheek because when a random bloke bellows across the street at me that I'm a 'stuck up bitch' (or similar) since I didn't immediately and obediently respond to his uninvited request to 'smile', it certainly doesn't feel like there's much caring going on!
Yes that's exactly the same as someone just saying "smile" in a friendly way. "
Maybe your experience of this phenomenon is completely different to mine.
I don't think I've *ever* had a stranger 'just saying 'smile'' in a friendly way to me. On a very few occasions, strangers have been kind enough to ask if I'm okay, say, if I've fallen over - but it's clear this thread is referring to the sort of intrusive comments which are mainly aimed at women minding their own business. Even if you've not had that yourself, you must surely have heard it towards others, or seen it depicted in TV shows etc. I'd argue that 'just saying smile' isn't friendly unless you already know someone - at best it interrupts your train of thought and at worse it can feel intimidating. It rarely feels like concern and more often like an attempt by (some) men to get you to engage with them when you don't want to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, because it's always meant in jest /friendly
I don't understand all the hate and anger. They are just showing they care.
Hopefully your comment was tongue in cheek because when a random bloke bellows across the street at me that I'm a 'stuck up bitch' (or similar) since I didn't immediately and obediently respond to his uninvited request to 'smile', it certainly doesn't feel like there's much caring going on!
Yes that's exactly the same as someone just saying "smile" in a friendly way.
Maybe your experience of this phenomenon is completely different to mine.
I don't think I've *ever* had a stranger 'just saying 'smile'' in a friendly way to me. On a very few occasions, strangers have been kind enough to ask if I'm okay, say, if I've fallen over - but it's clear this thread is referring to the sort of intrusive comments which are mainly aimed at women minding their own business. Even if you've not had that yourself, you must surely have heard it towards others, or seen it depicted in TV shows etc. I'd argue that 'just saying smile' isn't friendly unless you already know someone - at best it interrupts your train of thought and at worse it can feel intimidating. It rarely feels like concern and more often like an attempt by (some) men to get you to engage with them when you don't want to. "
I've had strangers tell me to smile-one was quite recently actually; an elderly man on a bus. I think he was trying to initiate a conversation as he kept talking after I laughed. I think he was lonely. I felt a bit sorry for him to be honest.
He said the "Smile love, it might never happen" one, but I've had people say cheer up too. I do have a miserable looking face when I'm not smiling though. |
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By *ussD1Man
over a year ago
Gloucester |
"Yep
They don't know what my day has been like.
I'd be interested to know if many men have been told to smile by random women ? "
I’m not sure women are so dismissive of a guys context and circumstances.
Women, possibly, would look at a guy and feel empathy for the way they look, consider what may have caused that look and judge that saying ‘cheer up’ or ‘smile’ may in fact illicit a negative response. - usually done in a couple of milliseconds. They walk on hoping he feels batter soon.
A guy! Well we just look and think ‘your hot’, think ‘I’m a bit of a charmer how could you fail to not cheer up if I say the magic words ‘smile’ or ‘smile love’’.
If he’s a particular kind of guy he will add the infamous ‘smile love, it won’t make your face crack’.
All accompanying a cheezy woman winning grin that’s sure to make every woman around him cheer up instantly via osmosis.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, because it's always meant in jest /friendly
I don't understand all the hate and anger. They are just showing they care."
No they’re not, it’s a ruse to either talk or have a dig.
See my example above, if that person ‘cared’ he would have read my face better, because I’m pretty sure red sore looking eyes & a pale face says I’m not in the mood to smile.
Had he’s said, “are you okay love?” then that to me is caring. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't really get that because I've got the opposite problem. My face is too smiley which makes people think I'm friendly and up for chatting all the time.
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Funnily enough, all these 'caring' men who just want to cheer me up - they never implore me to 'smile' if I'm out and about in male company. Yet my face probably looks just as 'miserable' (even though it doesn't, I'm just not grinning like a Cheshire cat 24/7) as it does when I'm alone. If they had no ulterior motive except genuine concern then surely this would be directed at unsmiley women regardless of who they were with? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, because it's always meant in jest /friendly
I don't understand all the hate and anger. They are just showing they care.
Hopefully your comment was tongue in cheek because when a random bloke bellows across the street at me that I'm a 'stuck up bitch' (or similar) since I didn't immediately and obediently respond to his uninvited request to 'smile', it certainly doesn't feel like there's much caring going on!
Yes that's exactly the same as someone just saying "smile" in a friendly way.
I think you’re being deliberately obtuse in this thread to go against the grain, to get a rise out of other woman. You do it quite a lot. "
Yeah because all men are bastards and if they speak to a woman it means they want to murder them.
All the women have said they assume the worst. I don't. However I'm not stupid and clearly if some stranger bellows across the street that is not the same as a friendly smile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, because it's always meant in jest /friendly
I don't understand all the hate and anger. They are just showing they care.
Hopefully your comment was tongue in cheek because when a random bloke bellows across the street at me that I'm a 'stuck up bitch' (or similar) since I didn't immediately and obediently respond to his uninvited request to 'smile', it certainly doesn't feel like there's much caring going on!
Yes that's exactly the same as someone just saying "smile" in a friendly way.
Maybe your experience of this phenomenon is completely different to mine.
I don't think I've *ever* had a stranger 'just saying 'smile'' in a friendly way to me. On a very few occasions, strangers have been kind enough to ask if I'm okay, say, if I've fallen over - but it's clear this thread is referring to the sort of intrusive comments which are mainly aimed at women minding their own business. Even if you've not had that yourself, you must surely have heard it towards others, or seen it depicted in TV shows etc. I'd argue that 'just saying smile' isn't friendly unless you already know someone - at best it interrupts your train of thought and at worse it can feel intimidating. It rarely feels like concern and more often like an attempt by (some) men to get you to engage with them when you don't want to. "
I've had both positive and negative experiences of this. I don't automatically assume they are being friendly or that they will attack me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, because it's always meant in jest /friendly
I don't understand all the hate and anger. They are just showing they care.
Hopefully your comment was tongue in cheek because when a random bloke bellows across the street at me that I'm a 'stuck up bitch' (or similar) since I didn't immediately and obediently respond to his uninvited request to 'smile', it certainly doesn't feel like there's much caring going on!
Yes that's exactly the same as someone just saying "smile" in a friendly way.
I think you’re being deliberately obtuse in this thread to go against the grain, to get a rise out of other woman. You do it quite a lot.
Yeah because all men are bastards and if they speak to a woman it means they want to murder them.
All the women have said they assume the worst. I don't. However I'm not stupid and clearly if some stranger bellows across the street that is not the same as a friendly smile. "
Ah I always return a friendly smile without fail, it can make your day. Someone staring at me and randomly saying 'smile' when Im walking along is different. Which to be fair hasnt happened in years my grumps look far to fierce now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a bit too forward sometimes for my own good and am guilty of this. I've seen men and women in the past who I don't know with their faces tripping them and I've said "Cheer up you, it might never happen."
No one has ever said anything cheeky in reply but no doubt they are thinking I'm a cheeky fucker. I need to stop talking to randomers in the street lol |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
I have had it a lot and I usually just ignore it but once when I was halfway through my chemo and had dragged myself in to work, i was on my lunch break and some guy told me to cheer up so I told him why I didn’t really feel like it. He looked flustered and apologised but maybe he will think twice before telling random women to smile. Sorry my miserable face is blighting your day but hey at least you don’t have cancer eh?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Annoys me if a man or woman tells me to smile. It's very shallow and disregards another person's state. Makes me want to tell them to fuck off or say something to upset them and then when they get upset I'll tell them, "you should smile". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, because it's always meant in jest /friendly
I don't understand all the hate and anger. They are just showing they care.
Hopefully your comment was tongue in cheek because when a random bloke bellows across the street at me that I'm a 'stuck up bitch' (or similar) since I didn't immediately and obediently respond to his uninvited request to 'smile', it certainly doesn't feel like there's much caring going on!
Yes that's exactly the same as someone just saying "smile" in a friendly way.
I think you’re being deliberately obtuse in this thread to go against the grain, to get a rise out of other woman. You do it quite a lot.
Yeah because all men are bastards and if they speak to a woman it means they want to murder them.
All the women have said they assume the worst. I don't. However I'm not stupid and clearly if some stranger bellows across the street that is not the same as a friendly smile.
Ah I always return a friendly smile without fail, it can make your day. Someone staring at me and randomly saying 'smile' when Im walking along is different. Which to be fair hasnt happened in years my grumps look far to fierce now "
Same. My face is like a slapped arse but a smile from a stranger can lift my mood. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Victoria Beckham is always being portrayed in the media as miserable just because she is rarely seen smiling, Not everyone has a natural smile,
I would say it to a friend but not a stranger "
And she’s actually one of the funniest people you could meet. She is absolutely nothing like how she portrays herself in public. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My childhood friend has a resting bitch face and dead eyes. (She's married to my other friend)
She said "I look miserable all the time because when I am not exercising I fast to stay thin. It's really because I'm lazy and fast instead of exercising
....it's nothing personal"
She explained it really well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Russian girl I dated explained something intresting...
"I smile to you but Russians don't smile to eachother alot in Russia. It's our culture to only smile for genuine reasons and not smile for no reason"
So they do smile in eastern Europe and Russia. They just don't smile at strangers or for every day occasions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Russian girl I dated explained something intresting...
"I smile to you but Russians don't smile to eachother alot in Russia. It's our culture to only smile for genuine reasons and not smile for no reason"
So they do smile in eastern Europe and Russia. They just don't smile at strangers or for every day occasions."
It appears Brits don't smile at strangers for every day occasions either.
What a happy friendly country we live in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It appears Brits don't smile at strangers for every day occasions either.
What a happy friendly country we live in. "
Well I liked thailand. (Land of smiles)
People get confused and get the wrong impression or think the Thais are "fake"
....really Its just manners... it's diliberately putting someone else at ease....
It's superficial and they might be hideing behind a smile. But it's good manners and culture.
If I am walking past someone I smile. If it's a woman I also smile. It's curtesy...
Inside I don't feel that way but I am with the people who smile because it's manners...
My former colleague constantly had a bitch face....
It's not appropriate if your just that way to gain attention. She seemed to feed off misery or being her mood to the staff room.
Country to how I always argue online. Offline in very mild mannered. I don't like smileing then receiving a bitch face.
It's abit selfish on their part because I make alot of effort not to be autistic and try to mimic empathy. It's part of my "morrals" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It appears Brits don't smile at strangers for every day occasions either.
What a happy friendly country we live in.
Well I liked thailand. (Land of smiles)
People get confused and get the wrong impression or think the Thais are "fake"
....really Its just manners... it's diliberately putting someone else at ease....
It's superficial and they might be hideing behind a smile. But it's good manners and culture.
If I am walking past someone I smile. If it's a woman I also smile. It's curtesy...
Inside I don't feel that way but I am with the people who smile because it's manners...
My former colleague constantly had a bitch face....
It's not appropriate if your just that way to gain attention. She seemed to feed off misery or being her mood to the staff room.
Country to how I always argue online. Offline in very mild mannered. I don't like smileing then receiving a bitch face.
It's abit selfish on their part because I make alot of effort not to be autistic and try to mimic empathy. It's part of my "morrals""
I wonder if you notice other people smiling/ not smiling more because you're more aware of their emotions and trying to match them. That's an interesting view point.
It's sad that people may have to not smile at strangers in case there's a bad reaction from them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No, because it's always meant in jest /friendly
Why do blokes only say it to women though ?
They don't"
A bloke has never said it to me and everyone woman I’ve spoke to about this has had it said to them on numerous occasions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I wonder if you notice other people smiling/ not smiling more because you're more aware of their emotions and trying to match them. That's an interesting view point.
It's sad that people may have to not smile at strangers in case there's a bad reaction from them. "
I read about my condition and other people with autism.
Asperger type people like anime alot. It's not coincidence. It's because the faces and eyes are obvious to read.
It might be the same with real life smileing. It might just put me at ease more than negative expression or expressions I can't read.
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"
I wonder if you notice other people smiling/ not smiling more because you're more aware of their emotions and trying to match them. That's an interesting view point.
It's sad that people may have to not smile at strangers in case there's a bad reaction from them.
I read about my condition and other people with autism.
Asperger type people like anime alot. It's not coincidence. It's because the faces and eyes are obvious to read.
It might be the same with real life smileing. It might just put me at ease more than negative expression or expressions I can't read.
"
I knew there was a reason I liked Dragonballz and Cowboy Bebop. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It appears Brits don't smile at strangers for every day occasions either.
What a happy friendly country we live in.
Well I liked thailand. (Land of smiles)
People get confused and get the wrong impression or think the Thais are "fake"
....really Its just manners... it's diliberately putting someone else at ease....
It's superficial and they might be hideing behind a smile. But it's good manners and culture.
If I am walking past someone I smile. If it's a woman I also smile. It's curtesy...
Inside I don't feel that way but I am with the people who smile because it's manners...
My former colleague constantly had a bitch face....
It's not appropriate if your just that way to gain attention. She seemed to feed off misery or being her mood to the staff room.
Country to how I always argue online. Offline in very mild mannered. I don't like smileing then receiving a bitch face.
It's abit selfish on their part because I make alot of effort not to be autistic and try to mimic empathy. It's part of my "morrals""
I'm autistic too. I don't expect a stranger to provide me with a smile just because I've given them one. How can the other person be selfish for smiling back? They don't know that you are autistic and doing your best to look neurotypical. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I'm autistic too. I don't expect a stranger to provide me with a smile just because I've given them one. How can the other person be selfish for smiling back? They don't know that you are autistic and doing your best to look neurotypical. "
I don't outwardly display emotion so often.
When I smile to someone it's more like saying "hello"...when I don't receive anything back I feel the person isn't making an effort.
When someone says to me:
"How you feeling?".....I feel shit...a million things in my environment are giving me sensory overload even on a good day
But I say "I'm good how are you" (like a programmed response)
(Social protocall)
If the person is just totally being negative...
I think how dare they. I'm the one making an effort to be a team player more than anyone else. It's not natural for me. I'm never really fully happy. So I've been making the effort to not make other people feel awkward and they don't need to...
Makes me feel like just being myself...
I always see a smile as being like offering a handshake. People who refuse the handshakes are the dicks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I knew there was a reason I liked Dragonballz and Cowboy Bebop. "
I like bebop
But my first anime was "3x3 eyes" my dad recorded on channel 4.
Alot of the newer ones have non neurotypical characters in much the same way as batman villans. You see their subtle expressions without it being directly discussed.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I'm autistic too. I don't expect a stranger to provide me with a smile just because I've given them one. How can the other person be selfish for smiling back? They don't know that you are autistic and doing your best to look neurotypical.
I don't outwardly display emotion so often.
When I smile to someone it's more like saying "hello"...when I don't receive anything back I feel the person isn't making an effort.
When someone says to me:
"How you feeling?".....I feel shit...a million things in my environment are giving me sensory overload even on a good day
But I say "I'm good how are you" (like a programmed response)
(Social protocall)
If the person is just totally being negative...
I think how dare they. I'm the one making an effort to be a team player more than anyone else. It's not natural for me. I'm never really fully happy. So I've been making the effort to not make other people feel awkward and they don't need to...
Makes me feel like just being myself...
I always see a smile as being like offering a handshake. People who refuse the handshakes are the dicks."
They're probably not dicks. In all liklihood they have other things on their minds and are engrossed in their own thoughts. Unless you know 100% that someone is being deliberately dismissive of you ie. they have told you, then you can't assume their motivations or interpret their behaviour. Don't take things so personally. |
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