FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The fallout of a throwaway comment.
The fallout of a throwaway comment.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Chatting to a friend yesterday. She was in a long marriage, he left her after an affair for the other woman. Took her ages to get her confidence to go on dates. She met someone, they had sex a few times. He then told her he couldn’t date her because of the size of her stomach. That was over a year ago and since then, she can’t bring herself to date or have sex. I doubt the guy who said it, hasn’t given it a second thought.
I think he was wrong to say it, maybe I’m wrong. I said to her, why couldn’t he just say, this isn’t working. Or was he right as he was honest? |
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I think he was right to be honest, but he should have been a bit less specific in his honesty.
For your friend, she probably needs some help in dealing with stuff although after the breakup she maybe wasn’t in the strongest place anyway.
She does need to deal with it and move on though. |
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"Chatting to a friend yesterday. She was in a long marriage, he left her after an affair for the other woman. Took her ages to get her confidence to go on dates. She met someone, they had sex a few times. He then told her he couldn’t date her because of the size of her stomach. That was over a year ago and since then, she can’t bring herself to date or have sex. I doubt the guy who said it, hasn’t given it a second thought.
I think he was wrong to say it, maybe I’m wrong. I said to her, why couldn’t he just say, this isn’t working. Or was he right as he was honest? "
The last thing women need is honesty when it comes to their bodies. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Chatting to a friend yesterday. She was in a long marriage, he left her after an affair for the other woman. Took her ages to get her confidence to go on dates. She met someone, they had sex a few times. He then told her he couldn’t date her because of the size of her stomach. That was over a year ago and since then, she can’t bring herself to date or have sex. I doubt the guy who said it, hasn’t given it a second thought.
I think he was wrong to say it, maybe I’m wrong. I said to her, why couldn’t he just say, this isn’t working. Or was he right as he was honest? "
He could have said that he isn't ready to date that was just a needlessly hurtful comment. I could never consider dating someone who feels the need to put others down like that |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Whilst he *was* honest he also lacked consideration, tact and a shitload of other things - of course he should have just said something like "I'm not sure this is working for me" - how bloody cruel!!
I hope your friend finds a way past it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Alright to fuck .... but not to date ?
No !!!!
"
Sadly I have been in this category a long time. It's a horribly lonely place. The only way to get out of the cycle is to break it through. Start playing them at their own game |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Alright to fuck .... but not to date ?
No !!!!
Sadly I have been in this category a long time. It's a horribly lonely place. The only way to get out of the cycle is to break it through. Start playing them at their own game "
Or focus your attention on nice men.
That's a better solution |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Alright to fuck .... but not to date ?
No !!!!
Sadly I have been in this category a long time. It's a horribly lonely place. The only way to get out of the cycle is to break it through. Start playing them at their own game "
I can’t understand how people can be so cruel
I’ve had sex with people I wouldn’t date because I’m on here .... but if I wouldn’t have sex with anyone I didn’t fancy
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
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Words hurt and the person delivering them needs to realise that there are consequences for the things that are said that can last a very long time. Speaking from experience.
I can understand why she is upset by it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Chatting to a friend yesterday. She was in a long marriage, he left her after an affair for the other woman. Took her ages to get her confidence to go on dates. She met someone, they had sex a few times. He then told her he couldn’t date her because of the size of her stomach. That was over a year ago and since then, she can’t bring herself to date or have sex. I doubt the guy who said it, hasn’t given it a second thought.
I think he was wrong to say it, maybe I’m wrong. I said to her, why couldn’t he just say, this isn’t working. Or was he right as he was honest? "
brutal honesty is always impolite and uncalled for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Words hurt and the person delivering them needs to realise that there are consequences for the things that are said that can last a very long time. Speaking from experience.
I can understand why she is upset by it. "
well said x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That is horrible.
Well that was a very lucky escape for your mate.
But yeah ok there is honesty and yes everyone is entitled to receive it.
But it's how it is delivered.
But like seriously how long where they hooking up,for him to just turn around and say that.
It's is a class example that guys/women do put each other in a category
And it's a common theme on here.
Snog,Fuck,Marry,Avoid.
Yes it's a swing site but it doesn't mean that you have to be rude and nasty.
So she was good for the ride but not for the life.
Hopefully She will get herself sorted out and back out there. And not let one man comment hold her back.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe he was trying to push her away? Cruel and needless though.
She dodged a bullet long term- imagine if she had ended up in a relationship with him and he had eroded her confidence slowly, over time xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the end of the day his comment says more about his maturity and lack of empathy, hopefully your friend builds up the confidence to get back out there and just be happy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe he was trying to push her away? Cruel and needless though.
She dodged a bullet long term- imagine if she had ended up in a relationship with him and he had eroded her confidence slowly, over time xx"
Exactly this.... lucky escape |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The guy sounds like an utter dick.....
......BUT (and i'll get a kicking for saying this) I think people need to take a little more responsibility for themselves and their actions and the situations they get themselves into in life and try to not play the victim so often. Whilst it's true that this guy fucked her but wouldn't date her, it's also true to say that she allowed him to! Its a lesson learned, check out your potential partner fully before you get too intimate both emotionally and physically with them, especially if you're more likely to be fragile to moronic thoughtless behavior..... Wait and pick a good'un rather and just anyone.....
I've had two women screw me over this week and drop me for something better but if I let it bother me then I'd be missing out on other things.....
Chin up, pof etc....
Yw
Steve x |
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"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
"
Couldn't agree more. I expect he thought he was every woman's dream. Not a word I like using and reserved for the worst men, but yes PRICK. |
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It's awful because we always remember the hurtful comments more easily than the kind ones.
There were better ways he could of ended it, like others have said at least he opted out before he wore her down. |
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What a total knuckle dragger.
Tell your friend that before she met him she had a wobbly tum.
AFTER she met him she had a wobbly tum and a large ignorant useless twat of a bloke hanging around.
WHEN HE WENT ....... she was just back as perfect as before - a wobbly tum and no dickhead hanging around. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this 
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?"
no but if he has lead her to believe they are dating then he should think before saying things like that |
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"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?no but if he has lead her to believe they are dating then he should think before saying things like that"
So you're happy that fab is full of men who would happily fuck you, but not want to date you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?no but if he has lead her to believe they are dating then he should think before saying things like that
So you're happy that fab is full of men who would happily fuck you, but not want to date you?"
One of the threads yesterday was about kissing and plenty of ppl seem not to even kiss, so I think it's for each person to decide their own reasons and expectations for why they attend this hell hole.....
If we don't like it there's the log out button..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Chatting to a friend yesterday. She was in a long marriage, he left her after an affair for the other woman. Took her ages to get her confidence to go on dates. She met someone, they had sex a few times. He then told her he couldn’t date her because of the size of her stomach. That was over a year ago and since then, she can’t bring herself to date or have sex. I doubt the guy who said it, hasn’t given it a second thought.
I think he was wrong to say it, maybe I’m wrong. I said to her, why couldn’t he just say, this isn’t working. Or was he right as he was honest? "
Does she want the truth or would she rather be told a white lie that won't upset her?
When I have been in this situation I picked other things to complain about. I tacticly find differences in opinion or lifestyle and then get out of the situation without causing damage...
Or I behave like an arse hole (not abusive) and give her every reason to dump me.
Anything except telling a woman "you look shit naked"
I think it's ok to lie or ommit the truth in this situation. It's commonly accepted it's better to not hurt someone with this kind of truth...
It's my OBJECTIVE OPINION....the next guy might not care about it. It's better she goes off thinking she dodged a bullet than she goes away feeling rejected...
However you do secretly hope she discovers a less self abusive lifestyle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?no but if he has lead her to believe they are dating then he should think before saying things like that
So you're happy that fab is full of men who would happily fuck you, but not want to date you?
One of the threads yesterday was about kissing and plenty of ppl seem not to even kiss, so I think it's for each person to decide their own reasons and expectations for why they attend this hell hole.....
If we don't like it there's the log out button..... "
Or match...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?no but if he has lead her to believe they are dating then he should think before saying things like that
So you're happy that fab is full of men who would happily fuck you, but not want to date you?"
yes ....i know that's what this site is about....SEX .
I would be pissed off if someone lead me to believe we were dating then did this....theres a big difference |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm fully aware my stomach puts men off. I had one man say I would be perfect if I got rid of it.
Getting rid of the stomach means losing the boobs though, so he probably wouldn't have messaged me in the first place.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm fully aware my stomach puts men off. I had one man say I would be perfect if I got rid of it.
Getting rid of the stomach means losing the boobs though, so he probably wouldn't have messaged me in the first place.
"
Don't look for hate, seek some love, no?
And smash an avocado on it..... |
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"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?no but if he has lead her to believe they are dating then he should think before saying things like that
So you're happy that fab is full of men who would happily fuck you, but not want to date you?yes ....i know that's what this site is about....SEX .
I would be pissed off if someone lead me to believe we were dating then did this....theres a big difference "
Absolutley. But the quote was "Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo". Which on a swinging site is pretty hypocritical. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That sounds like a "Im horny and can thinj with my dick enough to get off but I dont want to be seen with you outside" scenario.
I hooe she feels better eventually  |
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"No need to be unkind. Why not just say, this is not for him. "
Maybe the stomach was the least of her issues and he thought that was the nicest way to end it.... 
It's not impossible for someone to reduce the size of their stomach for example, but if they have a neurotic, paranoid personality, that's much harder to change. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There was no real reason for him to say anything other than end it in a relationship you would maybe suggest both eating healthy food but definitely not in just a casual sex situation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That sounds like a "Im horny and can thinj with my dick enough to get off but I dont want to be seen with you outside" scenario.
I hooe she feels better eventually "
This happens to my sister every couple of years or so. She has cerebral palsy. |
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"No need to be unkind. Why not just say, this is not for him.
Maybe the stomach was the least of her issues and he thought that was the nicest way to end it....
It's not impossible for someone to reduce the size of their stomach for example, but if they have a neurotic, paranoid personality, that's much harder to change. "
Whatever the issue, be tactful and don’t be a dick. Sorry but this isn’t working. Job done. |
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"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?no but if he has lead her to believe they are dating then he should think before saying things like that
So you're happy that fab is full of men who would happily fuck you, but not want to date you?yes ....i know that's what this site is about....SEX .
I would be pissed off if someone lead me to believe we were dating then did this....theres a big difference
Absolutley. But the quote was "Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo". Which on a swinging site is pretty hypocritical. "
I don’t think the girl is on fab it’s her friend who is on fab and they were dating not fwb.
I agree if you don’t find someone attractive for whatever reason then stop the relationship but be sensitive in how it’s worded |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?no but if he has lead her to believe they are dating then he should think before saying things like that
So you're happy that fab is full of men who would happily fuck you, but not want to date you?yes ....i know that's what this site is about....SEX .
I would be pissed off if someone lead me to believe we were dating then did this....theres a big difference
Absolutley. But the quote was "Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo". Which on a swinging site is pretty hypocritical.
I don’t think the girl is on fab it’s her friend who is on fab and they were dating not fwb.
I agree if you don’t find someone attractive for whatever reason then stop the relationship but be sensitive in how it’s worded "
this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm fully aware my stomach puts men off. I had one man say I would be perfect if I got rid of it.
Getting rid of the stomach means losing the boobs though, so he probably wouldn't have messaged me in the first place.
Don't look for hate, seek some love, no?
And smash an avocado on it..... "
Do what? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Chatting to a friend yesterday. She was in a long marriage, he left her after an affair for the other woman. Took her ages to get her confidence to go on dates. She met someone, they had sex a few times. He then told her he couldn’t date her because of the size of her stomach. That was over a year ago and since then, she can’t bring herself to date or have sex. I doubt the guy who said it, hasn’t given it a second thought.
I think he was wrong to say it, maybe I’m wrong. I said to her, why couldn’t he just say, this isn’t working. Or was he right as he was honest?
The last thing women need is honesty when it comes to their bodies. "
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"No need to be unkind. Why not just say, this is not for him.
Maybe the stomach was the least of her issues and he thought that was the nicest way to end it....
It's not impossible for someone to reduce the size of their stomach for example, but if they have a neurotic, paranoid personality, that's much harder to change.
Whatever the issue, be tactful and don’t be a dick. Sorry but this isn’t working. Job done."
If your partner was smoking 80 a day, and it finally became to much for you seeing her putting her life at risk, would you tell her you're leaving her because of the fags, or leave her wondering what it was? |
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"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?no but if he has lead her to believe they are dating then he should think before saying things like that
So you're happy that fab is full of men who would happily fuck you, but not want to date you?yes ....i know that's what this site is about....SEX .
I would be pissed off if someone lead me to believe we were dating then did this....theres a big difference
Absolutley. But the quote was "Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo". Which on a swinging site is pretty hypocritical.
I don’t think the girl is on fab it’s her friend who is on fab and they were dating not fwb.
I agree if you don’t find someone attractive for whatever reason then stop the relationship but be sensitive in how it’s worded "
I know, however it's still a hypocritical stance on a swingers site. |
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"No need to be unkind. Why not just say, this is not for him.
Maybe the stomach was the least of her issues and he thought that was the nicest way to end it....
It's not impossible for someone to reduce the size of their stomach for example, but if they have a neurotic, paranoid personality, that's much harder to change.
Whatever the issue, be tactful and don’t be a dick. Sorry but this isn’t working. Job done."
Again, we don't know what he said, or how he said it. It's a 3rd hand quote from a scorned woman. |
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"No need to be unkind. Why not just say, this is not for him.
Maybe the stomach was the least of her issues and he thought that was the nicest way to end it....
It's not impossible for someone to reduce the size of their stomach for example, but if they have a neurotic, paranoid personality, that's much harder to change.
Whatever the issue, be tactful and don’t be a dick. Sorry but this isn’t working. Job done.
If your partner was smoking 80 a day, and it finally became to much for you seeing her putting her life at risk, would you tell her you're leaving her because of the fags, or leave her wondering what it was?"
Obviously a totally different situation but I’d say cut the fags if it meant that much to me. This isn’t a partner though, so the feelings are different? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm fully aware my stomach puts men off. I had one man say I would be perfect if I got rid of it.
Getting rid of the stomach means losing the boobs though, so he probably wouldn't have messaged me in the first place.
Don't look for hate, seek some love, no?
And smash an avocado on it.....
Do what?"
Avocado cures any imperfections..... |
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But surely this is not a dating site. It is essentially a sex site so the focus will be on the physical although obviously friendships develop so there is at least sone form of emotional attahment.
Steve |
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"I'm fully aware my stomach puts men off. I had one man say I would be perfect if I got rid of it.
Getting rid of the stomach means losing the boobs though, so he probably wouldn't have messaged me in the first place.
Love the innocence! Do what?!!
Don't look for hate, seek some love, no?
And smash an avocado on it.....
Do what?"
|
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"No need to be unkind. Why not just say, this is not for him.
Maybe the stomach was the least of her issues and he thought that was the nicest way to end it....
It's not impossible for someone to reduce the size of their stomach for example, but if they have a neurotic, paranoid personality, that's much harder to change.
Whatever the issue, be tactful and don’t be a dick. Sorry but this isn’t working. Job done.
If your partner was smoking 80 a day, and it finally became to much for you seeing her putting her life at risk, would you tell her you're leaving her because of the fags, or leave her wondering what it was?
Obviously a totally different situation but I’d say cut the fags if it meant that much to me. This isn’t a partner though, so the feelings are different? "
Why is it a totally different situation? Maybe she was size 22 and eating 3 meals a day at KFC, i certainly couldn't spend my life with someone destroying themselves like that, and I couldn't live with the guilt of leaving someone running towards a heart attack or worse without telling them. |
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"No need to be unkind. Why not just say, this is not for him.
Maybe the stomach was the least of her issues and he thought that was the nicest way to end it....
It's not impossible for someone to reduce the size of their stomach for example, but if they have a neurotic, paranoid personality, that's much harder to change.
Whatever the issue, be tactful and don’t be a dick. Sorry but this isn’t working. Job done.
If your partner was smoking 80 a day, and it finally became to much for you seeing her putting her life at risk, would you tell her you're leaving her because of the fags, or leave her wondering what it was?
Obviously a totally different situation but I’d say cut the fags if it meant that much to me. This isn’t a partner though, so the feelings are different?
Why is it a totally different situation? Maybe she was size 22 and eating 3 meals a day at KFC, i certainly couldn't spend my life with someone destroying themselves like that, and I couldn't live with the guilt of leaving someone running towards a heart attack or worse without telling them. "
Ok. Well however you say it - just don’t be a fucking cunt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm fully aware my stomach puts men off. I had one man say I would be perfect if I got rid of it.
Getting rid of the stomach means losing the boobs though, so he probably wouldn't have messaged me in the first place.
Don't look for hate, seek some love, no?
And smash an avocado on it.....
Do what?
Avocado cures any imperfections..... "
I didn't understand the bit about hate and love  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Chatting to a friend yesterday. She was in a long marriage, he left her after an affair for the other woman. Took her ages to get her confidence to go on dates. She met someone, they had sex a few times. He then told her he couldn’t date her because of the size of her stomach. That was over a year ago and since then, she can’t bring herself to date or have sex. I doubt the guy who said it, hasn’t given it a second thought.
I think he was wrong to say it, maybe I’m wrong. I said to her, why couldn’t he just say, this isn’t working. Or was he right as he was honest? "
honest but a little tactless but better to be honest than lie in my opinion. |
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"No need to be unkind. Why not just say, this is not for him.
Maybe the stomach was the least of her issues and he thought that was the nicest way to end it....
It's not impossible for someone to reduce the size of their stomach for example, but if they have a neurotic, paranoid personality, that's much harder to change.
Whatever the issue, be tactful and don’t be a dick. Sorry but this isn’t working. Job done.
If your partner was smoking 80 a day, and it finally became to much for you seeing her putting her life at risk, would you tell her you're leaving her because of the fags, or leave her wondering what it was?
Obviously a totally different situation but I’d say cut the fags if it meant that much to me. This isn’t a partner though, so the feelings are different?
Why is it a totally different situation? Maybe she was size 22 and eating 3 meals a day at KFC, i certainly couldn't spend my life with someone destroying themselves like that, and I couldn't live with the guilt of leaving someone running towards a heart attack or worse without telling them.
Ok. Well however you say it - just don’t be a fucking cunt. "
And again, we don't really know if he was. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe he was trying to push her away? Cruel and needless though.
She dodged a bullet long term- imagine if she had ended up in a relationship with him and he had eroded her confidence slowly, over time xx"
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think he’s wrong to say it, as others have said he could have just said it’s not working, it feels like he intended to hurt her with his words"
It was deliberate. He's a nasty person and not worth feeling bad because of him. His opinion is worthless. |
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What a piece of pooh.
She is well rid of him.
He had no doubt noticed her stomach at the time of starting to date so if he didn’t fancy her why go out at all. But I obviously know the answer to this.
Shame on him to then make her feel bad about herself to boot.
Classy guy .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The other week someone found out I smoke .
She got angry with me and was very nasty about it.
This is after she told me she was spending the weekend drinking baccadi alone and eating junk food.
I wasn't bothered by her not likeing me for being a smoker.
It was more her hypocrite attitude I found insulting.
She wasn't as physicly healthy as me and I run 6 mile a day/probably smarter than her...
I don't drink or eat shit/not exercise...I'm pretty active in my hobbies.... (Not lazy)
I thought she was being a bitch... (Not because she didn't want to be with a smoker)
But more for having more unhealthy habbits than I do and talking to me from a position of sitting on couches in her free time drinking and eating junk...
I study or exercise or do productive things with my free time.
I didn't give her the full details of my opinion but I am not so picky with moderate lazy people who aren't athletes..
I thought her reaction to me smoking was hypocritical for a slightly overweight person who drinks baccadi alone on weekends.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The other week someone found out I smoke .
She got angry with me and was very nasty about it.
This is after she told me she was spending the weekend drinking baccadi alone and eating junk food.
I wasn't bothered by her not likeing me for being a smoker.
It was more her hypocrite attitude I found insulting.
She wasn't as physicly healthy as me and I run 6 mile a day/probably smarter than her...
I don't drink or eat shit/not exercise...I'm pretty active in my hobbies.... (Not lazy)
I thought she was being a bitch... (Not because she didn't want to be with a smoker)
But more for having more unhealthy habbits than I do and talking to me from a position of sitting on couches in her free time drinking and eating junk...
I study or exercise or do productive things with my free time.
I didn't give her the full details of my opinion but I am not so picky with moderate lazy people who aren't athletes..
I thought her reaction to me smoking was hypocritical for a slightly overweight person who drinks baccadi alone on weekends.
"
Sounds like butthurt. You liked her until she found out you smoke, then you call her out for drinking alone at weekends.  |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"No need to be unkind. Why not just say, this is not for him.
Maybe the stomach was the least of her issues and he thought that was the nicest way to end it....
It's not impossible for someone to reduce the size of their stomach for example, but if they have a neurotic, paranoid personality, that's much harder to change.
Whatever the issue, be tactful and don’t be a dick. Sorry but this isn’t working. Job done.
If your partner was smoking 80 a day, and it finally became to much for you seeing her putting her life at risk, would you tell her you're leaving her because of the fags, or leave her wondering what it was?
Obviously a totally different situation but I’d say cut the fags if it meant that much to me. This isn’t a partner though, so the feelings are different?
Why is it a totally different situation? Maybe she was size 22 and eating 3 meals a day at KFC, i certainly couldn't spend my life with someone destroying themselves like that, and I couldn't live with the guilt of leaving someone running towards a heart attack or worse without telling them.
Ok. Well however you say it - just don’t be a fucking cunt.
And again, we don't really know if he was. "
True, you’ve made that point. It can be discussed as a hypothetical even if we don’t have sworn affidavits of the conversation. It is still an interesting and useful conversation for people to have. |
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I know an absolutely gorgeous girl, I would date her in a heartbeat if I was nearer her, and she began dating a guy.
He dumped her after a few weeks complaining about her fat ass, and its just a big round curvy ass. But the thing is his complaints really hurt her, but she decided to act and began to work to lose weight on her ass and even though she began to work on it, he dumped her for having a fat ass.
3 months later he was phoning her up begging her for sex.
He just wanted sex, when he had his fill he wanted her to fuck off, was as mean as he could be, and then got lonely and realised what he was missing out on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Sounds like butthurt. You liked her until she found out you smoke, then you call her out for drinking alone at weekends. "
I didn't like her.
My opinion was absolutely neutral and I was just talking.
She got angry with me asif she was my girlfriend who just found out my bad habbit.
I had no relationship with her. She was being rude and bad mannered because of her own emotional immaturity (8 years older than me).
You can't get angry with someone for 420 when you don't even know them and they haven't even made "advances" at you.
Either take it or leave it but don't blow up because someone does something you don't like...
I feel NOTHING honestly....I just roll my eyes and think I doddged the bullet.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Sounds like butthurt. You liked her until she found out you smoke, then you call her out for drinking alone at weekends.
I didn't like her.
My opinion was absolutely neutral and I was just talking.
She got angry with me asif she was my girlfriend who just found out my bad habbit.
I had no relationship with her. She was being rude and bad mannered because of her own emotional immaturity (8 years older than me).
You can't get angry with someone for 420 when you don't even know them and they haven't even made "advances" at you.
Either take it or leave it but don't blow up because someone does something you don't like...
I feel NOTHING honestly....I just roll my eyes and think I doddged the bullet.
"
Fair enough. Apologies. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Sounds like butthurt. You liked her until she found out you smoke, then you call her out for drinking alone at weekends.
I didn't like her.
My opinion was absolutely neutral and I was just talking.
She got angry with me asif she was my girlfriend who just found out my bad habbit.
I had no relationship with her. She was being rude and bad mannered because of her own emotional immaturity (8 years older than me).
You can't get angry with someone for 420 when you don't even know them and they haven't even made "advances" at you.
Either take it or leave it but don't blow up because someone does something you don't like...
I feel NOTHING honestly....I just roll my eyes and think I doddged the bullet.
"
Did she say it was the health aspects of smoking she was against? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Sounds like butthurt. You liked her until she found out you smoke, then you call her out for drinking alone at weekends.
I didn't like her.
My opinion was absolutely neutral and I was just talking.
She got angry with me asif she was my girlfriend who just found out my bad habbit.
I had no relationship with her. She was being rude and bad mannered because of her own emotional immaturity (8 years older than me).
You can't get angry with someone for 420 when you don't even know them and they haven't even made "advances" at you.
Either take it or leave it but don't blow up because someone does something you don't like...
I feel NOTHING honestly....I just roll my eyes and think I doddged the bullet.
Did she say it was the health aspects of smoking she was against?"
I'm asking because the smell of it and taste of it on a mouth puts me off. I don't care if someone is poisoning their body, as I'm doing it to my own body, with sugar. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I'm asking because the smell of it and taste of it on a mouth puts me off. I don't care if someone is poisoning their body, as I'm doing it to my own body, with sugar."
That's fair enough but I have concealed it before and nobody knew.
There is no smell or noticable effect for 2nd person. I smoke a j outside then brush my teeth.
It's 3 js and your talking about me asif I smoke 10 ciggarets
Also it calms down my neurones and gives my synapses a chance to relax. Im not simply trying to get high....i smoke before my run or play sports....
Cotry to what people see in genral lazy people who smoke 420 and do nothing I am an active person and I'm more likely to be coated in body sweat anyway. |
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By *ussD1Man
over a year ago
Gloucester |
Probably someone who is lacking in emotional intelligence and devoid of human compassion. Says more about him as a person than it tells me about your friend.
She was sexy enough to have sex with so I’m thinking the body shape was an excuse to deliberately hurt her.
Like I say. That’s his issue not her’s and she’s lucky to be rid of him.
I would like to appologise on behalf of my genger as a whole, for the emotionally retarded members of our gender who have no concept of just being human and kind.  |
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"No need to be unkind. Why not just say, this is not for him.
Maybe the stomach was the least of her issues and he thought that was the nicest way to end it....
It's not impossible for someone to reduce the size of their stomach for example, but if they have a neurotic, paranoid personality, that's much harder to change.
Whatever the issue, be tactful and don’t be a dick. Sorry but this isn’t working. Job done.
If your partner was smoking 80 a day, and it finally became to much for you seeing her putting her life at risk, would you tell her you're leaving her because of the fags, or leave her wondering what it was?
Obviously a totally different situation but I’d say cut the fags if it meant that much to me. This isn’t a partner though, so the feelings are different?
Why is it a totally different situation? Maybe she was size 22 and eating 3 meals a day at KFC, i certainly couldn't spend my life with someone destroying themselves like that, and I couldn't live with the guilt of leaving someone running towards a heart attack or worse without telling them.
Ok. Well however you say it - just don’t be a fucking cunt.
And again, we don't really know if he was.
True, you’ve made that point. It can be discussed as a hypothetical even if we don’t have sworn affidavits of the conversation. It is still an interesting and useful conversation for people to have."
Thank you! |
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"Food for thought...must be mindful in all situations..the original comment was thoughtless and wrong"
Well, to be fair, until you've seen the woman's belly you don't know if he was actually "wrong". |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Food for thought...must be mindful in all situations..the original comment was thoughtless and wrong
Well, to be fair, until you've seen the woman's belly you don't know if he was actually "wrong"."
The meaning of the word wrong doesn’t have to solely be applied to whether she has a larger belly or not. It could mean wrong in the sense of it being a wrong call to do something that was deemed hurtful by the recipient.
To be absolutely fair. |
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"Food for thought...must be mindful in all situations..the original comment was thoughtless and wrong
Well, to be fair, until you've seen the woman's belly you don't know if he was actually "wrong".
The meaning of the word wrong doesn’t have to solely be applied to whether she has a larger belly or not. It could mean wrong in the sense of it being a wrong call to do something that was deemed hurtful by the recipient.
To be absolutely fair."
You can be factually correct but morally wrong |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Food for thought...must be mindful in all situations..the original comment was thoughtless and wrong
Well, to be fair, until you've seen the woman's belly you don't know if he was actually "wrong".
The meaning of the word wrong doesn’t have to solely be applied to whether she has a larger belly or not. It could mean wrong in the sense of it being a wrong call to do something that was deemed hurtful by the recipient.
To be absolutely fair.
You can be factually correct but morally wrong "
Exactly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?"
Not at all but if he had a problem with the size of her stomach he shouldn't have fucked her. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What a total knuckle dragger.
Tell your friend that before she met him she had a wobbly tum.
AFTER she met him she had a wobbly tum and a large ignorant useless twat of a bloke hanging around.
WHEN HE WENT ....... she was just back as perfect as before - a wobbly tum and no dickhead hanging around. "
She’s an attractive lady, always has been. I’m hoping she will get back to dating and not let his comment stay with her. |
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"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?
Not at all but if he had a problem with the size of her stomach he shouldn't have fucked her."
Maybe he thought he could see past it through to her personality, but in the end he couldn't. He gave it a shot. |
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"Food for thought...must be mindful in all situations..the original comment was thoughtless and wrong
Well, to be fair, until you've seen the woman's belly you don't know if he was actually "wrong".
The meaning of the word wrong doesn’t have to solely be applied to whether she has a larger belly or not. It could mean wrong in the sense of it being a wrong call to do something that was deemed hurtful by the recipient.
To be absolutely fair.
You can be factually correct but morally wrong "
He should have lied to her.... ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?
Not at all but if he had a problem with the size of her stomach he shouldn't have fucked her.
Maybe he thought he could see past it through to her personality, but in the end he couldn't. He gave it a shot. "
That's just bollocks |
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"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?
Not at all but if he had a problem with the size of her stomach he shouldn't have fucked her.
Maybe he thought he could see past it through to her personality, but in the end he couldn't. He gave it a shot.
That's just bollocks "
Maybe she looked ok clothed? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Food for thought...must be mindful in all situations..the original comment was thoughtless and wrong
Well, to be fair, until you've seen the woman's belly you don't know if he was actually "wrong"."
Also, Clem, he may have been a huge hypocrite with jug ears, tombstone teeth or a hook nose she was willing to forgive, because she liked him. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Food for thought...must be mindful in all situations..the original comment was thoughtless and wrong
Well, to be fair, until you've seen the woman's belly you don't know if he was actually "wrong".
The meaning of the word wrong doesn’t have to solely be applied to whether she has a larger belly or not. It could mean wrong in the sense of it being a wrong call to do something that was deemed hurtful by the recipient.
To be absolutely fair.
You can be factually correct but morally wrong
He should have lied to her.... ok "
Again, you’re extrapolating that there is only one inevitable trajectory. There isn’t. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?
Not at all but if he had a problem with the size of her stomach he shouldn't have fucked her.
Maybe he thought he could see past it through to her personality, but in the end he couldn't. He gave it a shot.
That's just bollocks
Maybe she looked ok clothed?"
And they had sex fully clothed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’ve found that guys who say something they know will hit your confidence - like a comment about a big stomach or fat arse - after fucking a few times tend to be ones who don’t want you, but quite like you not meeting anyone else in case they have a drought and want to pick you back up as they assume they play the “I like you enough to overlook it” line and obviously as a fat one you’ll be grateful enough to drop to your knees instantly.
Anyone making a comment like that to someone will know the impact it’ll have on the person they know so he likely knew how she’d take it. |
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"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?
Not at all but if he had a problem with the size of her stomach he shouldn't have fucked her.
Maybe he thought he could see past it through to her personality, but in the end he couldn't. He gave it a shot.
That's just bollocks
Maybe she looked ok clothed?
And they had sex fully clothed."
Could have had the lights off? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not read every single comment so sorry if I repeat anything but personally I like honesty but I damn well prefer tact and diplomacy...
I’d never say to anyone after I’d bedded them something about their appearance to get out of dating. Because I only bed people I’m attracted to anyway that I would date if they were willing but not bothered if they don’t as I’m not looking to commit exclusively right now.
I’m very much of the thinking do not fuck someone you wouldn’t want to be seen in public with because that’s “using”
It’s not even hooking-up, it certainly isn’t swinging although most on here seem to think a one-off is swinging and they are so wrong.
I met someone recently from Fab and had a brilliant meeting but I was so conscious that I was punching above my weight...
He dislikes that phrase and walked around in public, even having dinner with me and looked so relaxed about it as opposed to hiding in a bush or pretending he didn’t know me.
THAT is how people should be treating people whether it’s casual or not... respect yourselves people  |
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"Food for thought...must be mindful in all situations..the original comment was thoughtless and wrong
Well, to be fair, until you've seen the woman's belly you don't know if he was actually "wrong".
The meaning of the word wrong doesn’t have to solely be applied to whether she has a larger belly or not. It could mean wrong in the sense of it being a wrong call to do something that was deemed hurtful by the recipient.
To be absolutely fair.
You can be factually correct but morally wrong
He should have lied to her.... ok
Again, you’re extrapolating that there is only one inevitable trajectory. There isn’t. "
I actually have no idea what you just said... |
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"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?
Not at all but if he had a problem with the size of her stomach he shouldn't have fucked her.
Maybe he thought he could see past it through to her personality, but in the end he couldn't. He gave it a shot.
That's just bollocks
Maybe she looked ok clothed?
And they had sex fully clothed.
Could have had the lights off?"
It makes no difference if they were dressed or not, there really is no excuse for being cruel and hurtful to someone when you have had enough of them, it is easy to say “ sorry it’s just not working for me”, it doesn’t make a difference how we perceive his words as they were hurtful to the lady, surely you cannot defend a man who uses a woman’s week spot against her, come on Clem that just isn’t cricket |
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"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?
Not at all but if he had a problem with the size of her stomach he shouldn't have fucked her.
Maybe he thought he could see past it through to her personality, but in the end he couldn't. He gave it a shot.
That's just bollocks
Maybe she looked ok clothed?
And they had sex fully clothed.
Could have had the lights off?
It makes no difference if they were dressed or not, there really is no excuse for being cruel and hurtful to someone when you have had enough of them, it is easy to say “ sorry it’s just not working for me”, it doesn’t make a difference how we perceive his words as they were hurtful to the lady, surely you cannot defend a man who uses a woman’s week spot against her, come on Clem that just isn’t cricket "
What a load of crap! How many women would take "sorry,it's just not working for me" as a reason!!! do me a favour!! " Oh ok, bye, have fun!" This would NEVER happen!!! |
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"I guess she would have preferred it if he'd said "I'm leaving you, and you'll NEVER know why!" That would have put her mind at rest...
No just “ sorry it’s not working for me”, simples "
Absolutely. There's such a thing as tact and manners. |
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"I guess she would have preferred it if he'd said "I'm leaving you, and you'll NEVER know why!" That would have put her mind at rest...
No just “ sorry it’s not working for me”, simples "
yep.... every woman would be happy with that.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I guess she would have preferred it if he'd said "I'm leaving you, and you'll NEVER know why!" That would have put her mind at rest...
No just “ sorry it’s not working for me”, simples
yep.... every woman would be happy with that. "
Yes I would be more than happy with that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I guess she would have preferred it if he'd said "I'm leaving you, and you'll NEVER know why!" That would have put her mind at rest...
No just “ sorry it’s not working for me”, simples
Absolutely. There's such a thing as tact and manners. "
Precisely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm really not sure what planet alot of you are on. Do you still believe life is like a "Look in" photo story? my gosh "
I’m from a planet where we have manners, politeness, honesty and respect personally... |
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"I'm really not sure what planet alot of you are on. Do you still believe life is like a "Look in" photo story? my gosh
I’m from a planet where we have manners, politeness, honesty and respect personally... "
Well not honesty though eh? Only when it suits.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm really not sure what planet alot of you are on. Do you still believe life is like a "Look in" photo story? my gosh
I’m from a planet where we have manners, politeness, honesty and respect personally...
Well not honesty though eh? Only when it suits. "
Yes honesty not blatant rudeness... tact and diplomacy go a long way in my book |
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"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?
Not at all but if he had a problem with the size of her stomach he shouldn't have fucked her.
Maybe he thought he could see past it through to her personality, but in the end he couldn't. He gave it a shot.
That's just bollocks
Maybe she looked ok clothed?
And they had sex fully clothed.
Could have had the lights off?
It makes no difference if they were dressed or not, there really is no excuse for being cruel and hurtful to someone when you have had enough of them, it is easy to say “ sorry it’s just not working for me”, it doesn’t make a difference how we perceive his words as they were hurtful to the lady, surely you cannot defend a man who uses a woman’s week spot against her, come on Clem that just isn’t cricket
What a load of crap! How many women would take "sorry,it's just not working for me" as a reason!!! do me a favour!! " Oh ok, bye, have fun!" This would NEVER happen!!!"
Please yourself but I have met blokes in the past that didn’t work for me and never have I felt the need to say “ sorry your belly is too big”, there is no need to be mean to anyone.
Simply not cricket |
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"I guess she would have preferred it if he'd said "I'm leaving you, and you'll NEVER know why!" That would have put her mind at rest...
No just “ sorry it’s not working for me”, simples
yep.... every woman would be happy with that.
Yes I would be more than happy with that "
Don’t ever meet Clem then, he will tell you your ears stick out or summat  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Guy must be rite arsehole to say that does he not have a clue some women are very conscious about their appearance Think that lady is better off without him . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I guess she would have preferred it if he'd said "I'm leaving you, and you'll NEVER know why!" That would have put her mind at rest...
No just “ sorry it’s not working for me”, simples
yep.... every woman would be happy with that.
Yes I would be more than happy with that
Don’t ever meet Clem then, he will tell you your ears stick out or summat "
Lmao luckily I have thick skin and can take it but my common sense and my own values say no need to be so blatant... xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Shame the guy can't be named and shamed the poor lady must be gutted ,had bit of bad luck in past and thort was going with a nice guy and he said that to her the TWAT!woman should always be treated with respect and honesty. |
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"Shame the guy can't be named and shamed the poor lady must be gutted ,had bit of bad luck in past and thort was going with a nice guy and he said that to her the TWAT!woman should always be treated with respect and honesty."
Firstly we don’t name and shame and secondly it didn’t happen on this site |
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"Food for thought...must be mindful in all situations..the original comment was thoughtless and wrong
Well, to be fair, until you've seen the woman's belly you don't know if he was actually "wrong".
The meaning of the word wrong doesn’t have to solely be applied to whether she has a larger belly or not. It could mean wrong in the sense of it being a wrong call to do something that was deemed hurtful by the recipient.
To be absolutely fair."
That is the meaning that I meant to express |
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"Shame the guy can't be named and shamed the poor lady must be gutted ,had bit of bad luck in past and thort was going with a nice guy and he said that to her the TWAT!woman should always be treated with respect and honesty."
For fuck sake at least read the thread before you start white knighting! |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Food for thought...must be mindful in all situations..the original comment was thoughtless and wrong
Well, to be fair, until you've seen the woman's belly you don't know if he was actually "wrong".
The meaning of the word wrong doesn’t have to solely be applied to whether she has a larger belly or not. It could mean wrong in the sense of it being a wrong call to do something that was deemed hurtful by the recipient.
To be absolutely fair.
You can be factually correct but morally wrong
He should have lied to her.... ok
Again, you’re extrapolating that there is only one inevitable trajectory. There isn’t.
I actually have no idea what you just said..."
That the conclusion the commenter above me draws as a “should have” isn’t what everyone who says the chap was a bit cruel saying what he did to the lass, inevitably means.
Or “no”, that’s not what we are saying.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Here are my thoughts. The guy was probably a bit harsh, but that can't be undone. It happened. I'd be more concerned about why a year later your friend is still devastated by his throw away comment. That's not healthy. Sounds like she needs help and certainly doesn't sound ready to be dating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve found that guys who say something they know will hit your confidence - like a comment about a big stomach or fat arse - after fucking a few times tend to be ones who don’t want you, but quite like you not meeting anyone else in case they have a drought and want to pick you back up as they assume they play the “I like you enough to overlook it” line and obviously as a fat one you’ll be grateful enough to drop to your knees instantly.
Anyone making a comment like that to someone will know the impact it’ll have on the person they know so he likely knew how she’d take it. "
I used to err on the side of this attitude, whereas I'd now tell them to fuck themselves before we got to a social stage
I can't stomach bullshit bollocks anymore, one of the absolute benefits of getting older |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Here are my thoughts. The guy was probably a bit harsh, but that can't be undone. It happened. I'd be more concerned about why a year later your friend is still devastated by his throw away comment. That's not healthy. Sounds like she needs help and certainly doesn't sound ready to be dating. "
I agree that she sounds that she is struggling with self esteem. That’s not the premise of the question posed in the OP though, which is about the bloke’s communication and whether feel it was, in the OP’s words “wrong”.
So you’re in the wrong camp, I’m surmising from your post. I agree with that too.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here are my thoughts. The guy was probably a bit harsh, but that can't be undone. It happened. I'd be more concerned about why a year later your friend is still devastated by his throw away comment. That's not healthy. Sounds like she needs help and certainly doesn't sound ready to be dating.
I agree that she sounds that she is struggling with self esteem. That’s not the premise of the question posed in the OP though, which is about the bloke’s communication and whether feel it was, in the OP’s words “wrong”.
So you’re in the wrong camp, I’m surmising from your post. I agree with that too. "
I just think the op is focusing on the wrong issue. We can't change the behaviour of others or what happened but we can help those that clearly need it. Not really sure what value the op has added by getting us to discuss the merits of what someone allegedly said. We are all guilty of saying things we shouldn't but this guy has been villainised which just seems a bit pointless to me. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Here are my thoughts. The guy was probably a bit harsh, but that can't be undone. It happened. I'd be more concerned about why a year later your friend is still devastated by his throw away comment. That's not healthy. Sounds like she needs help and certainly doesn't sound ready to be dating.
I agree that she sounds that she is struggling with self esteem. That’s not the premise of the question posed in the OP though, which is about the bloke’s communication and whether feel it was, in the OP’s words “wrong”.
So you’re in the wrong camp, I’m surmising from your post. I agree with that too.
I just think the op is focusing on the wrong issue. We can't change the behaviour of others or what happened but we can help those that clearly need it. Not really sure what value the op has added by getting us to discuss the merits of what someone allegedly said. We are all guilty of saying things we shouldn't but this guy has been villainised which just seems a bit pointless to me. "
But that’s analysing the merit of any thread here, what’s the point in any thread. Who’s to say the OP isn’t supporting her mate about her issues etc etc.
The OP posted her thread asking to discuss the merits of how the chap communicated. Seeing the answers was her point, I assume.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People need to sometimes be wary with who they get intimate with because the intentions of each individuals will differ. You need to be on the same page.
Some people don’t realise how much their words can affect them and how harsh they can be. Once the words are said, there’s not really any taking back. Once it’s said, the damage is undone.
Guess the question here would be, why was it okay for him to have sex with her but not date her?
Okay, my mentality on here may differ from many but I really wouldn’t be fucking someone if I didn’t think they were dateable. Whether they have a tummy or not. If anything, I prefer my women with a bit of tummy.
Your friend needs to slowly build herself up again. No matter what he said, she shouldn’t let it get to her (I know it’s easier said than done).
This is my pet hate. When men do that. Appreciate the roles may be reversed too.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmm. The op was the one that said it was a throwaway comment. One where little thought has been given. Something we all do. Yet the guy is every name under the sun. So very easy when you only have one secondhand (possibly biased) side of the story. Guessing you all believe everything you read in the daily mail too.
Yeah it's not a very nice thing to say. But these things shouldn't scar for life. There's more to this than meets the eye I think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmm. The op was the one that said it was a throwaway comment. One where little thought has been given. Something we all do. Yet the guy is every name under the sun. So very easy when you only have one secondhand (possibly biased) side of the story. Guessing you all believe everything you read in the daily mail too.
Yeah it's not a very nice thing to say. But these things shouldn't scar for life. There's more to this than meets the eye I think. "
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Hmm. The op was the one that said it was a throwaway comment. One where little thought has been given. Something we all do. Yet the guy is every name under the sun. So very easy when you only have one secondhand (possibly biased) side of the story. Guessing you all believe everything you read in the daily mail too.
Yeah it's not a very nice thing to say. But these things shouldn't scar for life. There's more to this than meets the eye I think. "
Absolutely. But there always is. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Hmm. The op was the one that said it was a throwaway comment. One where little thought has been given. Something we all do. Yet the guy is every name under the sun. So very easy when you only have one secondhand (possibly biased) side of the story. Guessing you all believe everything you read in the daily mail too.
Yeah it's not a very nice thing to say. But these things shouldn't scar for life. There's more to this than meets the eye I think.
Absolutely. But there always is. "
Although I’ve not seen the bit when the OP says he made it as a throwaway comment. Only her speculating that he probably hasn’t thought more on it as her friend obviously has.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmm. The op was the one that said it was a throwaway comment. One where little thought has been given. Something we all do. Yet the guy is every name under the sun. So very easy when you only have one secondhand (possibly biased) side of the story. Guessing you all believe everything you read in the daily mail too.
Yeah it's not a very nice thing to say. But these things shouldn't scar for life. There's more to this than meets the eye I think.
Absolutely. But there always is.
Although I’ve not seen the bit when the OP says he made it as a throwaway comment. Only her speculating that he probably hasn’t thought more on it as her friend obviously has.
"
The title is a clue |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Hmm. The op was the one that said it was a throwaway comment. One where little thought has been given. Something we all do. Yet the guy is every name under the sun. So very easy when you only have one secondhand (possibly biased) side of the story. Guessing you all believe everything you read in the daily mail too.
Yeah it's not a very nice thing to say. But these things shouldn't scar for life. There's more to this than meets the eye I think.
Absolutely. But there always is.
Although I’ve not seen the bit when the OP says he made it as a throwaway comment. Only her speculating that he probably hasn’t thought more on it as her friend obviously has.
The title is a clue"
Yeah already got there. Still think he was wrong to say it. Not called him every name under the sun, and not disregarding any concern for how much impact it’s had on the lady. But then wrong in terms of behaviour outside of legal parameters is entirely subjective. For me it’s wrong in terms of not being a cunt to other people terms. But I fully appreciate that others wouldn’t hold to my preference there (and having that preference doesn’t mean I’m not gulity of failing to deliver on it always myself, obvs)! Ahh, I’ve gone and given him one name, albeit there’s no sun. |
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"Hmm. The op was the one that said it was a throwaway comment. One where little thought has been given. Something we all do. Yet the guy is every name under the sun. So very easy when you only have one secondhand (possibly biased) side of the story. Guessing you all believe everything you read in the daily mail too.
Yeah it's not a very nice thing to say. But these things shouldn't scar for life. There's more to this than meets the eye I think.
Absolutely. But there always is.
Although I’ve not seen the bit when the OP says he made it as a throwaway comment. Only her speculating that he probably hasn’t thought more on it as her friend obviously has.
The title is a clue"
The title says the fallout of a throwaway comment, it was throw away for the bloke but a handgranade for the woman as it obviously played on her insecurity, as I said before no one has to be cruel and spiteful to someone they don’t want to see again, not everyone is like us and built from indestructible ego’s |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmm. The op was the one that said it was a throwaway comment. One where little thought has been given. Something we all do. Yet the guy is every name under the sun. So very easy when you only have one secondhand (possibly biased) side of the story. Guessing you all believe everything you read in the daily mail too.
Yeah it's not a very nice thing to say. But these things shouldn't scar for life. There's more to this than meets the eye I think.
Absolutely. But there always is.
Although I’ve not seen the bit when the OP says he made it as a throwaway comment. Only her speculating that he probably hasn’t thought more on it as her friend obviously has.
The title is a clue
Yeah already got there. Still think he was wrong to say it. Not called him every name under the sun, and not disregarding any concern for how much impact it’s had on the lady. But then wrong in terms of behaviour outside of legal parameters is entirely subjective. For me it’s wrong in terms of not being a cunt to other people terms. But I fully appreciate that others wouldn’t hold to my preference there (and having that preference doesn’t mean I’m not gulity of failing to deliver on it always myself, obvs)! Ahh, I’ve gone and given him one name, albeit there’s no sun. "
Yeah I'm just glad there isn't a thread every time I say something wrong. |
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"Chatting to a friend yesterday. She was in a long marriage, he left her after an affair for the other woman. Took her ages to get her confidence to go on dates. She met someone, they had sex a few times. He then told her he couldn’t date her because of the size of her stomach. That was over a year ago and since then, she can’t bring herself to date or have sex. I doubt the guy who said it, hasn’t given it a second thought.
I think he was wrong to say it, maybe I’m wrong. I said to her, why couldn’t he just say, this isn’t working. Or was he right as he was honest? "
An ex, when we were breaking up, told me I was ‘too fat to fuck’. Twat. His issue, not mine. Wish your friend could find the confidence to realise that regardless of words she’s beautiful and if someone is offended by what they see, they shouldn’t look.
And to quote the lyrics from Carole Kings song Beautiful
You've got to get up every morning
With a smile in your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You're gonna find, yes you will
That you're beautiful as you feel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People say they want honesty, then when they get it they wish they had been less than honest... sometimes a guy can’t win!
It’s not the way I would break the news, like pretty much everyone else on here I would be a lot more tactful, as words can hurt.
But I’ve been rejected on here “sorry but I don’t find you in the slightest attractive” .. sometimes you just have move on and not let the cunts get you down
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok, i’ve beem privy to a few conversations about us bigger girls, and it seems, we big girls are ok to fuck but deffo not to date, comments like “i wouldn’t wanna be seen in public with her but she gives a good blow job” have been aired between guys, an the one the OP comments about seems to be one of those guys where looks are more important, also, my hubbys friend who is over weight was told by his girlfriend that she couldn’t stay with him cause of his size, the guy was broken for months after that comment but has managed to pick himself up, fact is, looks are important to a lot of people and some prefer to have the slimmer-figured partner regardless of their personality. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hmm. The op was the one that said it was a throwaway comment. One where little thought has been given. Something we all do. Yet the guy is every name under the sun. So very easy when you only have one secondhand (possibly biased) side of the story. Guessing you all believe everything you read in the daily mail too.
Yeah it's not a very nice thing to say. But these things shouldn't scar for life. There's more to this than meets the eye I think. "
You’re right in that I’ve surmised he hasn’t thought about it much since he said it. I can only go on the side of the story I had. I could tell, that it has shaken her, I hadn’t realised why she had stopped dating.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, i’ve beem privy to a few conversations about us bigger girls, and it seems, we big girls are ok to fuck but deffo not to date, comments like “i wouldn’t wanna be seen in public with her but she gives a good blow job” have been aired between guys, an the one the OP comments about seems to be one of those guys where looks are more important, also, my hubbys friend who is over weight was told by his girlfriend that she couldn’t stay with him cause of his size, the guy was broken for months after that comment but has managed to pick himself up, fact is, looks are important to a lot of people and some prefer to have the slimmer-figured partner regardless of their personality."
Why do you think it's regardless of their personality? |
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"Seriously??
Fucking prick
Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo
Exactly this
Are you saying that people should only swing with people they could eventually be in a relationship with?no but if he has lead her to believe they are dating then he should think before saying things like that
So you're happy that fab is full of men who would happily fuck you, but not want to date you?yes ....i know that's what this site is about....SEX .
I would be pissed off if someone lead me to believe we were dating then did this....theres a big difference
Absolutley. But the quote was "Alright to fuck ? But to date ? Nooooo". Which on a swinging site is pretty hypocritical.
I don’t think the girl is on fab it’s her friend who is on fab and they were dating not fwb.
I agree if you don’t find someone attractive for whatever reason then stop the relationship but be sensitive in how it’s worded
I know, however it's still a hypocritical stance on a swingers site. "
Not really as she is not talking from a swingers point of view she is talking from a humanitarian point of view as the friend is nothing to do with fab. There are lots of convos on the forum that are about life outwith swinging like what Sunday roast do you like best, and this post is one of those that are about life outside of fab. The guy was insensitive and even if I was meeting/chatting to someone from fab I would never be rude just give them a general reason for stopping seeing them.
One mans meat is another mans poison as they say so no need to be nasty just because they are not right for you. |
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"Chatting to a friend yesterday. She was in a long marriage, he left her after an affair for the other woman. Took her ages to get her confidence to go on dates. She met someone, they had sex a few times. He then told her he couldn’t date her because of the size of her stomach. That was over a year ago and since then, she can’t bring herself to date or have sex. I doubt the guy who said it, hasn’t given it a second thought.
I think he was wrong to say it, maybe I’m wrong. I said to her, why couldn’t he just say, this isn’t working. Or was he right as he was honest? "
I think he was a hurtful twat. There is no need for it. Oh but he was ok to fuck her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, i’ve beem privy to a few conversations about us bigger girls, and it seems, we big girls are ok to fuck but deffo not to date, comments like “i wouldn’t wanna be seen in public with her but she gives a good blow job” have been aired between guys, an the one the OP comments about seems to be one of those guys where looks are more important, also, my hubbys friend who is over weight was told by his girlfriend that she couldn’t stay with him cause of his size, the guy was broken for months after that comment but has managed to pick himself up, fact is, looks are important to a lot of people and some prefer to have the slimmer-figured partner regardless of their personality.
Why do you think it's regardless of their personality? "
because it’s my opinion? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, i’ve beem privy to a few conversations about us bigger girls, and it seems, we big girls are ok to fuck but deffo not to date, comments like “i wouldn’t wanna be seen in public with her but she gives a good blow job” have been aired between guys, an the one the OP comments about seems to be one of those guys where looks are more important, also, my hubbys friend who is over weight was told by his girlfriend that she couldn’t stay with him cause of his size, the guy was broken for months after that comment but has managed to pick himself up, fact is, looks are important to a lot of people and some prefer to have the slimmer-figured partner regardless of their personality.
Why do you think it's regardless of their personality?
because it’s my opinion? "
Personality aside I would have issues dating (nothing to do with fab) a larger person. We're foodies who like to be healthy and are very active, so I believe there would be unecessary conflict. This has actually arisen in life ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, i’ve beem privy to a few conversations about us bigger girls, and it seems, we big girls are ok to fuck but deffo not to date, comments like “i wouldn’t wanna be seen in public with her but she gives a good blow job” have been aired between guys, an the one the OP comments about seems to be one of those guys where looks are more important, also, my hubbys friend who is over weight was told by his girlfriend that she couldn’t stay with him cause of his size, the guy was broken for months after that comment but has managed to pick himself up, fact is, looks are important to a lot of people and some prefer to have the slimmer-figured partner regardless of their personality.
Why do you think it's regardless of their personality?
because it’s my opinion?
Personality aside I would have issues dating (nothing to do with fab) a larger person. We're foodies who like to be healthy and are very active, so I believe there would be unecessary conflict. This has actually arisen in life ... "
Forgot to finish lol but I have never said it's because of your weight I've just said I'm not looking or it wouldn't work for me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, i’ve beem privy to a few conversations about us bigger girls, and it seems, we big girls are ok to fuck but deffo not to date, comments like “i wouldn’t wanna be seen in public with her but she gives a good blow job” have been aired between guys, an the one the OP comments about seems to be one of those guys where looks are more important, also, my hubbys friend who is over weight was told by his girlfriend that she couldn’t stay with him cause of his size, the guy was broken for months after that comment but has managed to pick himself up, fact is, looks are important to a lot of people and some prefer to have the slimmer-figured partner regardless of their personality.
Why do you think it's regardless of their personality?
because it’s my opinion?"
OK! |
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