FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Tell me a joke
Tell me a joke
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"Where do spiders play football? Webley... I bet that made your eyes roll "You always get a good reaction outta me | |||
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"I heard a rather nice story about a man who drank a lot, and his wife said "if you ever come home d*unk again, I'm going to leave you". He went out to a pub and drank a lot and vomited all over his shirt, and said to his friend "If I go home like this my wife will leave me". His friend said "I tell you what, put a twenty-pound note in your inside jacket pocket, go home and show it to her and tell her somebody threw-up over you and he gave you the money for the dry-cleaning bill.". He goes home and his wife is angry at the state of him, and tells him she is leaving but he says "No, no, no, somebody was sick on me and he put a twenty-pound note in my jacket pocket for the dry-cleaning bill". His wife digs into his jacket pocket and pulls out some money, she said "Why have you got two twenty-pound notes in there?", he said "Oh the other is from the man who shat in my pants". " | |||
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"I phoned the tinnitus helpline but it just keeps ringing" Hell yeah.. Know that one.. lolol thanks | |||
"i was offered a part in a movie called 'cocaine' but it only had one line "Laughing yup | |||
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"2 dogs in a bar Dog 1: "I heard a great joke today" Dog 2: "Let's hear it then" Dog1: "Knock kno..." Dog2: goes fucking mental" When people try to tell me knock knock joke, I just sit there quiet pretending I'm not there hoping they'll go away | |||
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"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes, legs, or head? Matt. " What do you call a deer with no eyes, legs or balls? Still no fucking idea | |||
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".... TWO PRAWNS Far away in the tropical waters of the Coral Sea, two prawns were swimming around. One called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.' A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted' Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin began to realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse). Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see his old pal.'Where's Christian?' he asked. 'He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy & became a shark', came the reply. Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.' Christian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.' Justin cried back 'No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.'......... (You're going to love this................................) . . . . . . . 'I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Christian'" very good! | |||
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".... TWO PRAWNS Far away in the tropical waters of the Coral Sea, two prawns were swimming around. One called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.' A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted' Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin began to realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse). Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see his old pal.'Where's Christian?' he asked. 'He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy & became a shark', came the reply. Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.' Christian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.' Justin cried back 'No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.'......... (You're going to love this................................) . . . . . . . 'I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Christian' very good! "Thats brilliant | |||
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"Getting on a plane now, I'll tell you the best riddle ever later, promise x" sit at the back of the plane,they never reverse into mountains | |||
"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes, legs, or head? Matt. " What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs and no dick? Still no fucking idea | |||
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Where ever you left him | |||
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"Did you know that it is illegal to watch The Flintstones in Dubai? It is in Abu Dhabi though" I think you mean they don’t have the flintstones on tv in Dubai but Abu Dhabi do. | |||
