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Should i worry?
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Hi all,
Having seen yet again this morning another young person has been stabbed, its a scary time for our younger generation.
My son (19) is off to Nottingham to see his friends at the uni there, leaving today coming back sunday.
I havent mentioned anything to him yet but i have this overwhelming feeling of dread that this new stupid craze is on the increase.
Should i have a chat before he leaves about being safe , hes 19 but not a streetwise kid if you know what i mean.
Or should i trust his instincts to stay safe ?
A concerned dad  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Talk to him. Be very clear to stay in the group and stick together. If anything happens to phone you straight away more than just be safe. At that age he's going to do what he's going to do anyway. We all did. I think it's more helpful to know it's ok to phone if shit hits the fan |
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As a parent you are amways going to worry and there is much to be conrned about.
I would have a chat with him it can't hurt can it.
Ultimately you do have to trust him and his instincts. It's not like you can stop him meeting friends and going out. Its such a shame that these are the concerns of the day.
I wish him a safe and happy trip.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it's on your mind, say it. I always feel less anxious when I've done the parent talk to my (grown up) children, even though they laugh at my lectures sometimes. They know my advice is coming from the right place. |
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"If it's on your mind, say it. I always feel less anxious when I've done the parent talk to my (grown up) children, even though they laugh at my lectures sometimes. They know my advice is coming from the right place."
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"Hi all,
Having seen yet again this morning another young person has been stabbed, its a scary time for our younger generation.
My son (19) is off to Nottingham to see his friends at the uni there, leaving today coming back sunday.
I havent mentioned anything to him yet but i have this overwhelming feeling of dread that this new stupid craze is on the increase.
Should i have a chat before he leaves about being safe , hes 19 but not a streetwise kid if you know what i mean.
Or should i trust his instincts to stay safe ?
A concerned dad "
I'd reiterate the advice you've already had.
Plus tell him to stay with friends, don't be out alone, if it looks like theres trouble somewhere to steer clear and walk away.
I have a suspicion there's always been knife crime, but the current wave is now headline news and making us more aware.
It's also fuelling the fire and increasing the occurrences.
One things for sure, there's precious little you can do to defend against a knife.
I've stood in front of one 5 times and been stabbed 3.
Make sure he knows he can call you any time with no fear of being judged.
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"I was worried before, turn on the tv this morning and another has been stabbed, 6 in 7 days...terrible.
The advice to stay in the group is very sound "
That is good advice don't leave your friends on their own especially if out and been drinking. Always stick together... go home together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say it's your call.
The majority of if not all of these stabbings are unprovoked. It's not like the innocent victims we're in an activity where they knew they might get stabbed.
While im sure he's already aware of the increase in knife crime, hes going to make a lot of new friends and there's no better safety then safety in numbers.
I'd try and make sure he's always got a few quid so he's not in a situation were hes going to be stuck on his own.
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As a parent you'll always worry. My daughter was 21 when she landed a job that took her all over the world: unfortunately for my blood pressure it was mainly Africa and places like Bangladesh and Russia.
All we could do is tell her to be safe and not wander off on her own. I worried about my youngest going to uni...in Derby!
Part of the job description of being a parent is to worry. Just tell him to take care, stay with his friends and enjoy himself. |
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"If it's on your mind, say it. I always feel less anxious when I've done the parent talk to my (grown up) children, even though they laugh at my lectures sometimes. They know my advice is coming from the right place."
Mine used to say "oh mum" before rolling their eyes and laughing at my concerns.
They don't laugh now they are mothers...with sons! |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
OP...all of the above is excellent advice.
On a less practical note, I tell my teenagers that I love them. Every day, and more than once. Maybe it doesn't count for much in this world today, but it means a lot to me, and them I hope. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP...all of the above is excellent advice.
On a less practical note, I tell my teenagers that I love them. Every day, and more than once. Maybe it doesn't count for much in this world today, but it means a lot to me, and them I hope."
It will mean everything to them. |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"OP...all of the above is excellent advice.
On a less practical note, I tell my teenagers that I love them. Every day, and more than once. Maybe it doesn't count for much in this world today, but it means a lot to me, and them I hope.
It will mean everything to them."
I'm sure it does, as long as it's not in public! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP...all of the above is excellent advice.
On a less practical note, I tell my teenagers that I love them. Every day, and more than once. Maybe it doesn't count for much in this world today, but it means a lot to me, and them I hope.
It will mean everything to them.
I'm sure it does, as long as it's not in public!"
I'm sure it's still as welcomed, just not as openly  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Let him know that the chances of being stabbed increases exponentially if you carry a knife with you.
He needs to stick with friends and go to places he knows is safe. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
It is a very worrying time, even for kids in groups, so yes a talk about it is essential. To be honest I am not sure why a parent would need advice from others of whether to do that , it should be an instinct |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"It is a very worrying time, even for kids in groups, so yes a talk about it is essential. To be honest I am not sure why a parent would need advice from others of whether to do that , it should be an instinct"
PS..ours are in their thirties, we still worry about them at times, it doesn't go away whatever age they are. |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"It is a very worrying time, even for kids in groups, so yes a talk about it is essential. To be honest I am not sure why a parent would need advice from others of whether to do that , it should be an instinct"
Maybe the OP is not looking for advice, as such, but rather the sharing of a major concern? |
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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago
London |
"It is a very worrying time, even for kids in groups, so yes a talk about it is essential. To be honest I am not sure why a parent would need advice from others of whether to do that , it should be an instinct"
I guess he's looking for the right approach maybe? Not sure your relationship with you son OP but if you want to tell him your concerns definitely tell him any other way you would talk to him about a serious matter. These stabbings are horrible but life needs to go on, we can't be hermits because of these random stabbings... it makes me mad, so mad that this is happening but we just have to keep calm and carry on I suppose. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"It is a very worrying time, even for kids in groups, so yes a talk about it is essential. To be honest I am not sure why a parent would need advice from others of whether to do that , it should be an instinct
Maybe the OP is not looking for advice, as such, but rather the sharing of a major concern?"
He asked this "Should i have a chat before he leaves about being safe , hes 19 but not a streetwise kid if you know what i mean.
Or should i trust his instincts to stay safe ?"
Hence my reply. |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"It is a very worrying time, even for kids in groups, so yes a talk about it is essential. To be honest I am not sure why a parent would need advice from others of whether to do that , it should be an instinct
Maybe the OP is not looking for advice, as such, but rather the sharing of a major concern?
He asked this "Should i have a chat before he leaves about being safe , hes 19 but not a streetwise kid if you know what i mean.
Or should i trust his instincts to stay safe ?"
Hence my reply. "
Just a scary time for any parent...  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"It is a very worrying time, even for kids in groups, so yes a talk about it is essential. To be honest I am not sure why a parent would need advice from others of whether to do that , it should be an instinct
Maybe the OP is not looking for advice, as such, but rather the sharing of a major concern?
He asked this "Should i have a chat before he leaves about being safe , hes 19 but not a streetwise kid if you know what i mean.
Or should i trust his instincts to stay safe ?"
Hence my reply.
Just a scary time for any parent... "
Very, so why communication is the key so at least they know your concerns and will try and keep themselves as safe as they can |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"It is a very worrying time, even for kids in groups, so yes a talk about it is essential. To be honest I am not sure why a parent would need advice from others of whether to do that , it should be an instinct
Maybe the OP is not looking for advice, as such, but rather the sharing of a major concern?
He asked this "Should i have a chat before he leaves about being safe , hes 19 but not a streetwise kid if you know what i mean.
Or should i trust his instincts to stay safe ?"
Hence my reply.
Just a scary time for any parent...
Very, so why communication is the key so at least they know your concerns and will try and keep themselves as safe as they can"
I pray that even just one person chooses not to go out with a knife this weekend. Makes that concious decision. Makes that change. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
As a parent you never stop worrying but when they are older and you can't control where they are in this day and age its soooo much worse. My son is 17 and I worry when he goes to Sixfields, god knows what I'll be like when he wants to go into town  |
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The vast majority of knife crime victims are gang affiliated so you should not be overly worried. Also the fact that your son has a father that is willing to speak to him and give him sound advice further reduces the risk of him getting into trouble.
Never carry a weapon to protect yourself from another weapon, I’m sure he will be fine pal. The fact you are concerned shows your a good dad and having good parents is worth it’s weight in gold |
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Generally speaking, things are considerably safer than when many of us were young. We just hear a lot more about it. Which isn't to say the advice above is bad, it isn't. But try not to worry too much. |
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"It is a very worrying time, even for kids in groups, so yes a talk about it is essential. To be honest I am not sure why a parent would need advice from others of whether to do that , it should be an instinct"
It is instinct hence my concern, there have been suggestions that i hadnt thought of.
I dont profess to be the perfect parent, just a concerned one.
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"The vast majority of knife crime victims are gang affiliated so you should not be overly worried. Also the fact that your son has a father that is willing to speak to him and give him sound advice further reduces the risk of him getting into trouble.
Never carry a weapon to protect yourself from another weapon, I’m sure he will be fine pal. The fact you are concerned shows your a good dad and having good parents is worth it’s weight in gold "
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"It is a very worrying time, even for kids in groups, so yes a talk about it is essential. To be honest I am not sure why a parent would need advice from others of whether to do that , it should be an instinct
It is instinct hence my concern, there have been suggestions that i hadnt thought of.
I dont profess to be the perfect parent, just a concerned one.
"
You asked should you talk to your son...hence my reply which I stand by
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I appreciate that it’s not always easy to work out the best approach with a 19 year old. Sometime we get it right sometimes we get it wrong. However the one occasion when my son (same age) experienced a violent attack he was separated from his friends because he wanted to get home earlier from being in a Club in tthe city where he studies. Thankfully due to being able to run a lot faster than his assailants and having considerably more stamina his only injury was a black eye. It could have been much worse.
I think good advice even if it isn’t welcomed or taken is always worthwhile. Ever since then as friends they have a pact to always stick together. |
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"Hi all,
Having seen yet again this morning another young person has been stabbed, its a scary time for our younger generation.
My son (19) is off to Nottingham to see his friends at the uni there, leaving today coming back sunday.
I havent mentioned anything to him yet but i have this overwhelming feeling of dread that this new stupid craze is on the increase.
Should i have a chat before he leaves about being safe , hes 19 but not a streetwise kid if you know what i mean.
Or should i trust his instincts to stay safe ?
A concerned dad "
From what I've seen in Nottingham on weekend evenings, the city centre is quite well policed. It's a student city and very busy but I've never felt scared around the pub's and bars. Heading out of the city, not a chance I'd walk around those areas. Tell him to stay where it's busy and to take a tram if he's heading out the centre.
As a mother of two teenage boys, I know exactly how you feel. I'm sure all will be well and he'll have a great time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Usually I would say it’s all isolated etc with these kinds of things but clearly it’s not, I worry for my boys all the time, especially my youngest and eldest as they are on the spectrum and struggle with people etc.
I would definitely have a word with him, it won’t hurt at all, hopefully he will see you have his best interests at heart and hopefully is old enough to understand why you are mentioning it.
Danish x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is a very worrying time, even for kids in groups, so yes a talk about it is essential. To be honest I am not sure why a parent would need advice from others of whether to do that , it should be an instinct
It is instinct hence my concern, there have been suggestions that i hadnt thought of.
I dont profess to be the perfect parent, just a concerned one.
You asked should you talk to your son...hence my reply which I stand by
"
Not just kids. Found out last week someone I went to school with was stabbed and murdered just because he didn't have a light for a cigarette. He was 45. |
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"It is a very worrying time, even for kids in groups, so yes a talk about it is essential. To be honest I am not sure why a parent would need advice from others of whether to do that , it should be an instinct"
I did think that too. |
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"It is a very worrying time, even for kids in groups, so yes a talk about it is essential. To be honest I am not sure why a parent would need advice from others of whether to do that , it should be an instinct
PS..ours are in their thirties, we still worry about them at times, it doesn't go away whatever age they are."
Ruggers, my baby who you kindly offered to help when she was at uni in Derby is now 28 and married, I still worry about her and her older sisters too! |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"It is a very worrying time, even for kids in groups, so yes a talk about it is essential. To be honest I am not sure why a parent would need advice from others of whether to do that , it should be an instinct
PS..ours are in their thirties, we still worry about them at times, it doesn't go away whatever age they are.
Ruggers, my baby who you kindly offered to help when she was at uni in Derby is now 28 and married, I still worry about her and her older sisters too!"
Blimey, how the time has flown.  I feel old now  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"It is a very worrying time, even for kids in groups, so yes a talk about it is essential. To be honest I am not sure why a parent would need advice from others of whether to do that , it should be an instinct
It is instinct hence my concern, there have been suggestions that i hadnt thought of.
I dont profess to be the perfect parent, just a concerned one.
You asked should you talk to your son...hence my reply which I stand by
Not just kids. Found out last week someone I went to school with was stabbed and murdered just because he didn't have a light for a cigarette. He was 45."
I wonder what goes on in a persons head who wants to carry a knife knowing they might be going to use it.
You are right , it can happen to anyone but at the moment the stabbings especially in London seem to be targeting youngsters. |
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Op I understand your worries, it’s perfectly natural for a parent to feel afraid for their child’s safety.
However, Nottingham is not a bad city. It’s where I’m originally from and despite living in Bedworth for the last 4 years, I still follow the local news in Nottingham as well as here.
In recent weeks there have been more incidents to make you worry here in Coventry and Warwickshire than there have been in Nottingham. Just the other night a teenager was stabbed after an altercation between a large group of girls. Oh and last night a 2 year old student was stabbed in the back of the head during a robbery at his accommodation in Godiva place.
I know it’s hard but please try not to worry too much |
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"Op I understand your worries, it’s perfectly natural for a parent to feel afraid for their child’s safety.
However, Nottingham is not a bad city. It’s where I’m originally from and despite living in Bedworth for the last 4 years, I still follow the local news in Nottingham as well as here.
In recent weeks there have been more incidents to make you worry here in Coventry and Warwickshire than there have been in Nottingham. Just the other night a teenager was stabbed after an altercation between a large group of girls. Oh and last night a 2 year old student was stabbed in the back of the head during a robbery at his accommodation in Godiva place.
I know it’s hard but please try not to worry too much "
Well hes there now and no doubt will be on the lash, the original post was just voicing concerns, its a shitty time we're in, should never have to caution your 19 yr old against random stabbings.
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Yet another newspaper report of another stabbing in Coventry. The article reports that it’s the 10th stabbing in our city since 2019 began, just 9 weeks ago! Op I under your concern you had for your son visiting another city but to be honest, it’s probably safer than his home city is being reported to be right now!
https://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/coventry-news/stabbing-earlsdon-coventry-15948067
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think most of the stabbing are to do with kids that are involved with things , others don’t just go up and stab others , there will be issues like gang or drugs |
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