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Status updates
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Don’t you ever wish you could leave comments on people’s status updates?
Sometimes the urge to be sarcastic is too huge.
'Male, playing alone tonight as wife out.'
What? Again? The amount she’s out, I’d check to see whether she’s left you.
'Nobody ever meets on this site. Waste of time.'
That’s because you’ve left everyone local sitting in a pub waiting, in vain for you fuckers to turn up.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t you ever wish you could leave comments on people’s status updates?
Sometimes the urge to be sarcastic is too huge.
'Male, playing alone tonight as wife out.'
What? Again? The amount she’s out, I’d check to see whether she’s left you.
'Nobody ever meets on this site. Waste of time.'
That’s because you’ve left everyone local sitting in a pub waiting, in vain for you fuckers to turn up.
"
Made me lol after a long day, thanks my lovely  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mine are more tongue in cheek and to see if I get any plonkers falling for it. "
Our current one started as tongue in cheek 24 hours ago. It’s now seeming a fun proposition with the replies we got! |
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"What's it take for a good looking bloke to get a meet from the bitchy slags around here?" (not a real status, but that idea)
- Dunno, do you know one?
- Not slagging off your market might help... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mine are more tongue in cheek and to see if I get any plonkers falling for it.
Our current one started as tongue in cheek 24 hours ago. It’s now seeming a fun proposition with the replies we got!"
I bet you got lots of offers. I had one about my addiction to creme eggs yesterday and got so many responses. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mine are more tongue in cheek and to see if I get any plonkers falling for it.
You’ve got to let us know if you do get anyone responding to that.  "
A friend of mine googled it. |
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By *e_jpMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"Don’t you ever wish you could leave comments on people’s status updates?
Sometimes the urge to be sarcastic is too huge.
'Male, playing alone tonight as wife out.'
What? Again? The amount she’s out, I’d check to see whether she’s left you.
'Nobody ever meets on this site. Waste of time.'
That’s because you’ve left everyone local sitting in a pub waiting, in vain for you fuckers to turn up.
"
Completely agree OP, this would be so good. But as someone else commented, it would almost certainly lead to me being banned on a regular basis. |
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"what ever happened to the good old days of keys in a bowel.
it WAS that simple...... non of this
" i OWNLY FUCK GUYS OVER 6 FEET TALL"
its all bollocks now"
Ah, people getting to fuck people they like and are attracted to. The world's going to pot. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My personal favourite is "Where are all the decent guys" when she/they have either an unopened message from last week or have Deleted Unread a message you've sent them.
Umm dunno, it's a mystery! "
yes this!  |
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By *e_jpMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"what ever happened to the good old days of keys in a bowel.
it WAS that simple...... non of this
" i OWNLY FUCK GUYS OVER 6 FEET TALL"
its all bollocks now
Ah, people getting to fuck people they like and are attracted to. The world's going to pot. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what ever happened to the good old days of keys in a bowel.
it WAS that simple...... non of this
" i OWNLY FUCK GUYS OVER 6 FEET TALL"
its all bollocks now"
It would mean I would be having sex with people that may repulse me. I’m glad I get to choose now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don’t you ever wish you could leave comments on people’s status updates?
Sometimes the urge to be sarcastic is too huge.
'Male, playing alone tonight as wife out.'
What? Again? The amount she’s out, I’d check to see whether she’s left you.
'Nobody ever meets on this site. Waste of time.'
That’s because you’ve left everyone local sitting in a pub waiting, in vain for you fuckers to turn up.
"
Hahaha! Brilliant!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My personal favourite is "Where are all the decent guys" when she/they have either an unopened message from last week or have Deleted Unread a message you've sent them.
Umm dunno, it's a mystery! "
I have many unopened mail and I’m thinking exactly that status. I can see by the many ones I’ve not opened that they are not what I’m after. Mainly fancy a fuck or gross questions. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"what ever happened to the good old days of keys in a bowel.
it WAS that simple...... non of this
" i OWNLY FUCK GUYS OVER 6 FEET TALL"
its all bollocks now"
Keys in a bowl. Keys in a bowl. Keys in a bowel is a whole (hole even) different party game! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"what ever happened to the good old days of keys in a bowel.
it WAS that simple...... non of this
" i OWNLY FUCK GUYS OVER 6 FEET TALL"
its all bollocks now"
I only meet guys over 6ft tall. Burn me at the stake |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great stuff OP...
'Wife wanting another guy to suck hubby's cock. I will not be playing...just watching'
...read...gay bloke with pretend wife wanting some man action...
'Apartment available free of charge for fab couples to use'
...got my hidden cameras everywhere. There isn't a blindspot in the whole house... |
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"My personal favourite is "Where are all the decent guys" when she/they have either an unopened message from last week or have Deleted Unread a message you've sent them.
Umm dunno, it's a mystery!
I have many unopened mail and I’m thinking exactly that status. I can see by the many ones I’ve not opened that they are not what I’m after. Mainly fancy a fuck or gross questions. "
Quite. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"what ever happened to the good old days of keys in a bowel.
it WAS that simple...... non of this
" i OWNLY FUCK GUYS OVER 6 FEET TALL"
its all bollocks now"
Me thinks your expectation of this site is slightly different from the reality.. rather like porn versus actual sex.. people have choices. Thats a good thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would love to have this feature ...there's so many I would comment on or like . Pretty sure alot of us would be banned if we said what we thought though 
Mrs xx |
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""Seven day load, what am I going to do about it?"
... Wank?
‘Drain my balls?’ Is the ones that get me. "
Oh god yeah. That sounds like an unpleasant medical procedure. Drain this abscess and my balls please doctor. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"what ever happened to the good old days of keys in a bowel.
it WAS that simple...... non of this
" i OWNLY FUCK GUYS OVER 6 FEET TALL"
its all bollocks now
Ah, people getting to fuck people they like and are attracted to. The world's going to pot. "
It's only bollocks if it excludes him though... |
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"what ever happened to the good old days of keys in a bowel.
it WAS that simple...... non of this
" i OWNLY FUCK GUYS OVER 6 FEET TALL"
its all bollocks now
Ah, people getting to fuck people they like and are attracted to. The world's going to pot.
It's only bollocks if it excludes him though... "
Keys in a bowl sounds bloody awful to me. I can just imagine it. "Please not the sleazy dude who smells like he hasn't wiped himself, I can't cope..." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"what ever happened to the good old days of keys in a bowel.
it WAS that simple...... non of this
" i OWNLY FUCK GUYS OVER 6 FEET TALL"
its all bollocks now
Ah, people getting to fuck people they like and are attracted to. The world's going to pot.
It's only bollocks if it excludes him though...
Keys in a bowl sounds bloody awful to me. I can just imagine it. "Please not the sleazy dude who smells like he hasn't wiped himself, I can't cope..." "
I’m sure that happened. It’s like sexual roulette, |
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"what ever happened to the good old days of keys in a bowel.
it WAS that simple...... non of this
" i OWNLY FUCK GUYS OVER 6 FEET TALL"
its all bollocks now
Ah, people getting to fuck people they like and are attracted to. The world's going to pot.
It's only bollocks if it excludes him though...
Keys in a bowl sounds bloody awful to me. I can just imagine it. "Please not the sleazy dude who smells like he hasn't wiped himself, I can't cope..."
I’m sure that happened. It’s like sexual roulette, "
Yeah. Thank God we've moved on. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"what ever happened to the good old days of keys in a bowel.
it WAS that simple...... non of this
" i OWNLY FUCK GUYS OVER 6 FEET TALL"
its all bollocks now
Ah, people getting to fuck people they like and are attracted to. The world's going to pot.
It's only bollocks if it excludes him though...
Keys in a bowl sounds bloody awful to me. I can just imagine it. "Please not the sleazy dude who smells like he hasn't wiped himself, I can't cope..."
I’m sure that happened. It’s like sexual roulette, "
Don't start with the Russian roulette again...
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"what ever happened to the good old days of keys in a bowel.
it WAS that simple...... non of this
" i OWNLY FUCK GUYS OVER 6 FEET TALL"
its all bollocks now
Ah, people getting to fuck people they like and are attracted to. The world's going to pot.
It's only bollocks if it excludes him though...
Keys in a bowl sounds bloody awful to me. I can just imagine it. "Please not the sleazy dude who smells like he hasn't wiped himself, I can't cope..."
I’m sure that happened. It’s like sexual roulette,
Don't start with the Russian roulette again...
"
What’s that about? What did i miss in my few months away? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would love it! I’d be banned all the time. How many men claim their balls are bursting, haven’t cum in days?! Get over yourself, and have a god damn wank  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"what ever happened to the good old days of keys in a bowel.
it WAS that simple...... non of this
" i OWNLY FUCK GUYS OVER 6 FEET TALL"
its all bollocks now"
I'm sorry I'm really not mocking but that typo is a cracker - my mind is boggling as to how you get the keys in a bowel - do you swallow and wait for them to digest, or insert from below?
Does one person do it as a kind of swingers party random generator?
Then you have the quandary of how long to wait before the first two keys are errr passed to pair the first couple off.
Not to mention would anyone want their keys back after? |
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"what ever happened to the good old days of keys in a bowel.
it WAS that simple...... non of this
" i OWNLY FUCK GUYS OVER 6 FEET TALL"
its all bollocks now
Ah, people getting to fuck people they like and are attracted to. The world's going to pot.
It's only bollocks if it excludes him though...
Keys in a bowl sounds bloody awful to me. I can just imagine it. "Please not the sleazy dude who smells like he hasn't wiped himself, I can't cope..."
I’m sure that happened. It’s like sexual roulette, "
taking one for the team |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Would love to have this feature ...there's so many I would comment on or like . Pretty sure alot of us would be banned if we said what we thought though
Mrs xx "
Just wait up late until some unfortunate soul inevitably posts "anyone on kik" or "narrow boat".
Perfect opportunity for piss taking when your bored. |
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"what ever happened to the good old days of keys in a bowel.
it WAS that simple...... non of this
" i OWNLY FUCK GUYS OVER 6 FEET TALL"
its all bollocks now
I'm sorry I'm really not mocking but that typo is a cracker - my mind is boggling as to how you get the keys in a bowel - do you swallow and wait for them to digest, or insert from below?
Does one person do it as a kind of swingers party random generator?
Then you have the quandary of how long to wait before the first two keys are errr passed to pair the first couple off.
Not to mention would anyone want their keys back after? "
theres alway one  |
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"what ever happened to the good old days of keys in a bowel.
it WAS that simple...... non of this
" i OWNLY FUCK GUYS OVER 6 FEET TALL"
its all bollocks now
Ah, people getting to fuck people they like and are attracted to. The world's going to pot.
It's only bollocks if it excludes him though...
Keys in a bowl sounds bloody awful to me. I can just imagine it. "Please not the sleazy dude who smells like he hasn't wiped himself, I can't cope..."
I’m sure that happened. It’s like sexual roulette,
taking one for the team"
That's not a team I'd ever want to be on. Eww.  No one is owed sex, and everyone should get to choose who they sleep with, because it's the 21st century this is not novel. |
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"Don’t you ever wish you could leave comments on people’s status updates?
Sometimes the urge to be sarcastic is too huge.
'Male, playing alone tonight as wife out.'
What? Again? The amount she’s out, I’d check to see whether she’s left you.
'Nobody ever meets on this site. Waste of time.'
That’s because you’ve left everyone local sitting in a pub waiting, in vain for you fuckers to turn up.
"
Too funny. Fair cheered me up lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love a good cringeworthy status. I use it to eithher hotlist the genuine comedy gold out there or to block the "inner circle" of locals who are busy partying with each other. Or so they say... |
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I've mentioned this before, but there was a guy on my local updates (ages ago, maybe the summer?) who was getting back with his wife, get him while you still can, several times a day. This went on for six weeks until I blocked him because wtf. |
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