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That Saturday Afternoon Pint up North
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sorry it's late, I've been locked in one-to-ones with the forum admin staff all weekend. They've got some new ideas for the site which they wanted to run by me and they thought it better that I stayed off the forums while we discussed it. Being the accommodating guy I am, I agreed to it. Enough of this "That Pint" bollox anyway, it's turning me into some kind of self-indulgent dependent. Dependent on what I don't know but this is the last one.
Anyway, yeah, up north? For work and other reasons, I've been all over this island of ours but until yesterday I'd never been to Hull. We can all turn our noses up at other areas but by and large everywhere is pretty much the same and has its good and bad parts.
So what is it than can be said about Kingston upon Hull that wouldn't offend its locals? Fuck all, let's move on.
I'm a sporadic football fan these days, half a dozen times a season plus the odd away game is about all I can muster myself for. The pubs nearest to the ground had been deemed inhospitable by the very informative 'footballgroundguide' so just me and my mate had previously made up our minds that we were going to park in the city centre and grab a pint and a bite to eat before getting our game faces on. We parked the car and stumbled upon a few unwelcoming looking gaffs which we didn't fancy, before we ended up settling for the 'Admiral of the Humber' a Wetherspoons house. Now this goes against the grain for me but the fact is, it looked the best of a bad bunch.
Celebrity looky-likey #1: Any Hull dwellers on the forums? Tell me that one of the doormen in this pub isn't the spitting image of Peter Kay's Max from Phoenix Nights?
I didn't look at the menu, I just plumped for fish & chips, I thought it was the safest option. I had a bad experience a couple of years ago and I vowed never to eat their muck again. 'spoons have gone down the celebrity chef line these days; well not so much celebrity chef but celebrity kitchen staff instead. Uri Gellar provided the cutlery. He must have, that's the only thing that would explain the state that the stuff came out in.
Celebrity looky-likey #2: Gary Monk's doppelganger was in the pub. At least I think it was his double and not the actual man himself. He had the condiments lined up in a 4-4-2 formation, which led me to believe it was 'Our Gaz'. For the uninitiated, Garry Monk is our manager. It probably doesn't qualify him as a celebrity in many people's eyes but we're living in an age when all it takes is a 5 minute appearance on some reality tv show to achieve such status. On that basis, I'm claiming it for Garry.
I had a right struggle at the bar getting the second pint in. 'spoons staff don't seem to have the knack of being aware of whose turn it is to be served next, either that or they just didn't want to serve me. I'd rather they just wore a tee-short saying "I'm not serving thick Brummie twats". At least then I'd know. Like football itself, we can deal with defeat and rejection, it's the hope that kills us (e). Still, I looked at the barmaid's furrowed brow and my concern was only for her, not for my own dry throat. I shouted my round in eventually, not normally my style but sometimes you have to dumb down to be able to sup up.
We lost a game in which we never really looked like scoring. I told Garry we should have played the tomato ketchup in the number ten role but he insisted that we go with the vinegar and pepper as the two up front. It was never going to work against Hull's useful counter-attacking system but there you go. We just didn't cut the mustard, so to speak.
Hull's finest:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKWnIB0wkHo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In a parallel universe this would reach 175 comments and marry, snog, avoid threads would do as well as this one is doing! "
I'm not so sure even then... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In a parallel universe this would reach 175 comments and marry, snog, avoid threads would do as well as this one is doing! "
 It's got about 5 more replies than any of the others, I'm baking a cake to celebrate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In a parallel universe this would reach 175 comments and marry, snog, avoid threads would do as well as this one is doing!
It's got about 5 more replies than any of the others, I'm baking a cake to celebrate."
Don’t leave it out in the rain. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In a parallel universe this would reach 175 comments and marry, snog, avoid threads would do as well as this one is doing!
I'm not so sure even then..."
The subliminal impact is worth a thousand replies.
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