FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Anyone else suffer with anxiety?
Anyone else suffer with anxiety?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ive been on and off here for a while now as i really want to find a lady to have some intimate fun with, but my anxiety always lets me down...
I've been suffering for years now and i have my coping methods but my silly brain won't let me go any further than talking on here.. and even then i try to avoid it being overly sexual because i get freaked out easily.
Does anyone else suffer? And if so how did you get over the initial hump and just say "fuck it" and met someone? Even if it was just a social?
I realise it might seem stupid me even being on here but I've been thinking about being with a woman for most of my 'active' life...
Z. |
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For a long time..... I've found it easier now because I learned to value myself for who I am, rather than who I thought people wanted me to be.
Lesson 1: decide who you're going to be, and don't let any fucker change your mind and tell you it's not right x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you!
Did you find people to be accepting of your anxiety? I've found that some people seem to be almost offended when i tell them so I'm now reluctant to mention it... |
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Anxiety is a very normal and protective human emotion, however, when it becomes irrational it's a problem.
The best advice I can offer is simply face your fear and ignore the physical symptoms. They are real but they are getting in the way. There are loads of techniques online, some complicated I think and feed into the anxiety by validating it and not understanding it, others actually helping you realise it's irrational and not worth getting stressed about.
Take it slow, chat, meet for a coffee, hang around in clubs etc. Move at your own pace. I guarantee the thought of doing something is waaaaaaaay scarier than actually doing it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dreadfully yes. Walking helps me lots.. and good sleep!
On here I'm very open about my anxiety and only ever meet people I've become friends with. It's a slow process but worth putting the effort in to get to know people with no expectation.
I did my first ever group social in December and was terrified but did it. Made some lovely new friends as a result.
Little improvements every day work for me so I don't get overwhelmed by what ifs.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My daughter suffers from anxiety but she's learning that the thought of doing something is far worse than actually doing it. Go at your own pace, breathe deeply. |
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"Thank you!
Did you find people to be accepting of your anxiety? I've found that some people seem to be almost offended when i tell them so I'm now reluctant to mention it... "
I tended not to mention it.... I just read up on how to help me combat it and it helped me.... I still have my moments x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you!
I've been trying to set myself little achievable tasks to do so i get that "yay i did something" feeling and its been working pretty well.. i just struggle to be social and the main anxiety i get is feeling like I'm not being myself and people think I'm boring when really I'm screaming in my own head to just say something or be open..
How long did it take you before you met someone on here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suffer massively from anxiety, can usually fake it until I feel comfortable (obviously a million trips to the bathroom so I can hide the fact I'm sweating so much :/ )
It does make it difficult though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you!
Did you find people to be accepting of your anxiety? I've found that some people seem to be almost offended when i tell them so I'm now reluctant to mention it... "
I actually told my boss at work who was great and asked how can we help you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you!
I've been trying to set myself little achievable tasks to do so i get that "yay i did something" feeling and its been working pretty well.. i just struggle to be social and the main anxiety i get is feeling like I'm not being myself and people think I'm boring when really I'm screaming in my own head to just say something or be open..
How long did it take you before you met someone on here?"
I only meet on here if I'm in a good place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have periodic and social anxiety.
My mind can work overtime for a time, and then the next I can be as bold as anything.
Not found any one method that works at controlling it unfortunately. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I have and do suffer with it, I think that it's far more common than people know, which is just testimony to the nature of the illness.
I don't think that there is a universal coverall way of combatting it, but certain things can help. Personally I've found that talking about it helps massively, the voice in my head has nowhere to run if I physically voice what it's saying and look at it critically. Exercise and journalling help me hugely too.
It sounds like you're going about it in the right way with the small gains though.
Have you sought professional help? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You have all given me a big smile on my face, thank you!
Im not going to be rushing into things but knowing im not the only one that struggles is going to be something i hold with me from now on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive been on and off here for a while now as i really want to find a lady to have some intimate fun with, but my anxiety always lets me down...
I've been suffering for years now and i have my coping methods but my silly brain won't let me go any further than talking on here.. and even then i try to avoid it being overly sexual because i get freaked out easily.
Does anyone else suffer? And if so how did you get over the initial hump and just say "fuck it" and met someone? Even if it was just a social?
I realise it might seem stupid me even being on here but I've been thinking about being with a woman for most of my 'active' life...
Z."
Yep, daily my citalopam helps, specific incidents propranalol helps, impromptu alcohol helps.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I went to my doctor years back and was sent to a few CBT sessions but the person i was with just kept looking in her textbook after every sentence i said and i didn't get a connection from her at all... which for me there needs to be a connection before i can really open up and talk, if anything it made it worse for a while and its put me off from seeking help again... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep
Social anxiety bites me on the arse too, which puts me off the idea of group socials and clubs.
I have other issues going on too but I tend to talk to people for a while, the shortest being a month and the longest was about nine months, before meeting so they know what's going on. I get the mix of epic nerves and anxiety before a meet like you wouldn't believe but I get so excited too. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I went to my doctor years back and was sent to a few CBT sessions but the person i was with just kept looking in her textbook after every sentence i said and i didn't get a connection from her at all... which for me there needs to be a connection before i can really open up and talk, if anything it made it worse for a while and its put me off from seeking help again..."
That sounds like a difficult situation. Personally I would go back and seek further help |
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Anxiety is only for pussies.
Then it happened to me after a particularly traumatic time of my life. I then analysed how I used to be and realised I probably had it all along which accounted for how I felt above. I also have Aspergers.
Short term medicated/long term coping mechanisms and immersion therapy.
I’m now a better person who is beginning to understand empathy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went to my doctor years back and was sent to a few CBT sessions but the person i was with just kept looking in her textbook after every sentence i said and i didn't get a connection from her at all... which for me there needs to be a connection before i can really open up and talk, if anything it made it worse for a while and its put me off from seeking help again...
That sounds like a difficult situation. Personally I would go back and seek further help"
This 100% ive burnt through numerous psychiatrists and tbh never found one i clicked with but others have.
Some have very unpleasent traits that just make them untrustworthy which is hard to deal with when they're asking for you to spill your guts and most intimate of intimates
Plus i met some nasty cunts who used sectioning as a weapon. I am forever grateful to my mum who threw said psychiatrist out of the house when they said that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was on here for over a year before I met because my anxiety would get in the way, so in the end I just committed and went for it, because the only thing that causes me more anxiety than doing things is not doing them and feeling like I've let people down. |
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Steve