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Gender identity

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By *amsay Bolton OP   Man  over a year ago

Motherwell

Saw a post on the face of book about a wee boy who has asked his mum to wear a communion dress. He wears like Disney princess dresses and high heels to play but the mother says he identifies as a boy.

Would you let your kid wear the dress if it’s what he wanted or would you be worried about him being bullied for being different?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Me and my husband have both agreed our child can wear what they want. I really couldn’t care less. My little brother loved dressing up in dresses and skirts when he was wee, he still identifies as male and he’s 21 in a few months. If they grow up identifying as the other sex, then I’ll be glad I let them feel comfortable in what they wear.

I work with kids and when I was with the 2-3 year olds we had an afternoon with only four children. We decided to dress up and dance to Disney music. A wee boy dressed in a princess outfit, complete with heels, a purse and tiara. He wanted to wear all this, we had ‘boy’ dressing up clothes but nope, he wanted to be a princess like his best friend.

His dad came in and went absolutely mental, made his son cry (although at two and a half, he didn’t understand why - just knew he was in trouble) and told me it wasn’t to happen again. His mum phoned later on and apologised and said she’s trying to talk her husband round, and to let her son dress how he wants during dressing up time.

I now work with primary school children and have loads of dressing up costumes. The majority of boys prefer to wear the dresses rather than anything else.

It’s fine.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

For his communion or just to knock about the house in?

My kid identified as Yoda for about 2 months when he was a wee one, the walk to school was a cunting nightmare, 15 mins walking normally: 35 mins shuffling like Yoda.

For a religious ceremony, no, I wouldn't let him wear a communion dress. I think looking back on it in years he'd wonder why his mother had allowed him to do that, especially if he was identifying as a boy.

P

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By *tephTV67TV/TS  over a year ago

Cheshire

My son likes to wear dresses, as far as I remember I don't think my own father did. But I do wonder if he gets it from me, obviously I'm not going to discourage his interest, but I truly hope attitudes do change in the future over crossdressing, for his sake.

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By *amsay Bolton OP   Man  over a year ago

Motherwell

I’m all for letting kids be kids but I also think it’s naive to think other kids and parents will be as liberal and accepting.

I think it’ll just open the lad up to serious bullying

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m all for letting kids be kids but I also think it’s naive to think other kids and parents will be as liberal and accepting.

I think it’ll just open the lad up to serious bullying "

Kids can and will unfortunately be bullied for just about anything. My brother was bullied for being autistic, and it’s not as if we could just tell him no, stop being autistic. (Yes I know it’s totally different).

I genuinely got bullied for about four months because my Granny bought me a cardigan that two girls hated. I remember them swinging me around with it and stretching and eventually ripping it. I still wore it, I liked it and my Granny bought me it.

If my child wanted to dress in clothes for the opposite sex and go out and about like that, I would try my best to have a conversation with them about how I feel it’s okay, and they feel it’s okay, that others may not.

You want to protect your children the best you can, but you also want them to feel as comfortable as they can and be as happy as they can be.

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By *loswingersCouple  over a year ago

Gloucester


"Me and my husband have both agreed our child can wear what they want. I really couldn’t care less. My little brother loved dressing up in dresses and skirts when he was wee, he still identifies as male and he’s 21 in a few months. If they grow up identifying as the other sex, then I’ll be glad I let them feel comfortable in what they wear.

I work with kids and when I was with the 2-3 year olds we had an afternoon with only four children. We decided to dress up and dance to Disney music. A wee boy dressed in a princess outfit, complete with heels, a purse and tiara. He wanted to wear all this, we had ‘boy’ dressing up clothes but nope, he wanted to be a princess like his best friend.

His dad came in and went absolutely mental, made his son cry (although at two and a half, he didn’t understand why - just knew he was in trouble) and told me it wasn’t to happen again. His mum phoned later on and apologised and said she’s trying to talk her husband round, and to let her son dress how he wants during dressing up time.

I now work with primary school children and have loads of dressing up costumes. The majority of boys prefer to wear the dresses rather than anything else.

It’s fine. "

Now I don’t get this at all .

Our son is eleven , and is now in his first year at secondary school . He’s never worn dresses for dress up in all his years at school or nursery , or at home . What’s more neither have any of his mates at any time at school either . Yet you are saying the majority of boys at your primary school prefer to wear dresses rather than anything else ! Seriously ? I find that strange to say the least .

And I have to say that although we have agreed that we aren’t in the slightest bit bothered by what way our son may er towards as he grows up , I wouldn’t have been happy if he was dressed up in a dress, high heels , a purse and a tiara at 2 years old under someone else’s guidance either .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Me and my husband have both agreed our child can wear what they want. I really couldn’t care less. My little brother loved dressing up in dresses and skirts when he was wee, he still identifies as male and he’s 21 in a few months. If they grow up identifying as the other sex, then I’ll be glad I let them feel comfortable in what they wear.

I work with kids and when I was with the 2-3 year olds we had an afternoon with only four children. We decided to dress up and dance to Disney music. A wee boy dressed in a princess outfit, complete with heels, a purse and tiara. He wanted to wear all this, we had ‘boy’ dressing up clothes but nope, he wanted to be a princess like his best friend.

His dad came in and went absolutely mental, made his son cry (although at two and a half, he didn’t understand why - just knew he was in trouble) and told me it wasn’t to happen again. His mum phoned later on and apologised and said she’s trying to talk her husband round, and to let her son dress how he wants during dressing up time.

I now work with primary school children and have loads of dressing up costumes. The majority of boys prefer to wear the dresses rather than anything else.

It’s fine.

Now I don’t get this at all .

Our son is eleven , and is now in his first year at secondary school . He’s never worn dresses for dress up in all his years at school or nursery , or at home . What’s more neither have any of his mates at any time at school either . Yet you are saying the majority of boys at your primary school prefer to wear dresses rather than anything else ! Seriously ? I find that strange to say the least .

And I have to say that although we have agreed that we aren’t in the slightest bit bothered by what way our son may er towards as he grows up , I wouldn’t have been happy if he was dressed up in a dress, high heels , a purse and a tiara at 2 years old under someone else’s guidance either ."

I work with primary school aged children. I don’t work in a primary school. I work with about 20 children a day. And yes - the majority of them dress up in the ‘girls’ fancy dress costumes.

And okay, and I would have respected that. Me and the other member of staff (the manager of the nursery) agreed if he wanted to wear that, he could. I had only worked with the boy for about four months, she had worked with him since he was six weeks old and knew the family very well. You can encourage a two year old as much as possible to wear the ‘boy’ fancy dress costumes but we agreed we’d rather he was happy and playing with his friends, rather than having a full blown meltdown

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By *orkie321bWoman  over a year ago

Nottingham

I don't see what the problem is with letting young children decide what dress up outfit they want.

Playing in the opposite gender outfit won't make them gay, trans or a cross dresser. It's just children playing and they should be allowed to have fun!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't see what the problem is with letting young children decide what dress up outfit they want.

Playing in the opposite gender outfit won't make them gay, trans or a cross dresser. It's just children playing and they should be allowed to have fun!

"

I'm unsure if it was dress up or for the actual communion

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By *amsay Bolton OP   Man  over a year ago

Motherwell


"I don't see what the problem is with letting young children decide what dress up outfit they want.

Playing in the opposite gender outfit won't make them gay, trans or a cross dresser. It's just children playing and they should be allowed to have fun!

I'm unsure if it was dress up or for the actual communion "

It is for the actual communion. Not a play time dress up thing

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Not a prayer

He would spend an hour gorilla glued to the wall for suggesting it

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

The more we push all clothes to be gendered the harder it is for it to ever change.

Sadly, for communion I think the child will have to dress in a conventionally accepted way because the difference will be so great that is what will be remembered and not their first communion.

That said, my confirmation photo is a shocker and I really wish I was wearing something else.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Not a prayer

He would spend an hour gorilla glued to the wall for suggesting it "

Poor kid.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Saw a post on the face of book about a wee boy who has asked his mum to wear a communion dress. He wears like Disney princess dresses and high heels to play but the mother says he identifies as a boy.

Would you let your kid wear the dress if it’s what he wanted or would you be worried about him being bullied for being different?"

I would try and persuade him to wear something different as he would be bullied. But if he convinced me he wanted to then fine.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Saw a post on the face of book about a wee boy who has asked his mum to wear a communion dress. He wears like Disney princess dresses and high heels to play but the mother says he identifies as a boy.

Would you let your kid wear the dress if it’s what he wanted or would you be worried about him being bullied for being different?"

id be more concerned about the bullies,,and why no one stops them

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't see what the problem is with letting young children decide what dress up outfit they want.

Playing in the opposite gender outfit won't make them gay, trans or a cross dresser. It's just children playing and they should be allowed to have fun!

"

wow some one with a brain

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Not a prayer

He would spend an hour gorilla glued to the wall for suggesting it "

Would you glue his ass cheeks shut if he came out gay

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Not a prayer

He would spend an hour gorilla glued to the wall for suggesting it

Would you glue his ass cheeks shut if he came out gay "

snog,,tickle,,oooops wrong thread

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Dick owner here but it is also my name

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I knew you was Dick

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By *ilkenWoman  over a year ago

Manchester


"Saw a post on the face of book about a wee boy who has asked his mum to wear a communion dress. He wears like Disney princess dresses and high heels to play but the mother says he identifies as a boy.

Would you let your kid wear the dress if it’s what he wanted or would you be worried about him being bullied for being different?"

I would be more concerned about the parents that let their child bully others for being different.

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By *loswingersCouple  over a year ago

Gloucester


"Saw a post on the face of book about a wee boy who has asked his mum to wear a communion dress. He wears like Disney princess dresses and high heels to play but the mother says he identifies as a boy.

Would you let your kid wear the dress if it’s what he wanted or would you be worried about him being bullied for being different?

I would be more concerned about the parents that let their child bully others for being different. "

There’s another thread running about discipline in schools . And the fact that plenty of people say in that one that the parents are more the problem than the teachers says it all really .

The vast majority of parents treat their kids as the most innocent and precious little luvvies in the world . As far as they are concerned their kids can’t possibly do any wrong . So of course they let their kids bully other kids for being different , because in their mind their kids are always right !

It’s a sad state of affairs but tell me it isn’t like this now .

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By *r99mr99Man  over a year ago

Ealing


"Me and my husband have both agreed our child can wear what they want. I really couldn’t care less. My little brother loved dressing up in dresses and skirts when he was wee, he still identifies as male and he’s 21 in a few months. If they grow up identifying as the other sex, then I’ll be glad I let them feel comfortable in what they wear.

I work with kids and when I was with the 2-3 year olds we had an afternoon with only four children. We decided to dress up and dance to Disney music. A wee boy dressed in a princess outfit, complete with heels, a purse and tiara. He wanted to wear all this, we had ‘boy’ dressing up clothes but nope, he wanted to be a princess like his best friend.

His dad came in and went absolutely mental, made his son cry (although at two and a half, he didn’t understand why - just knew he was in trouble) and told me it wasn’t to happen again. His mum phoned later on and apologised and said she’s trying to talk her husband round, and to let her son dress how he wants during dressing up time.

I now work with primary school children and have loads of dressing up costumes. The majority of boys prefer to wear the dresses rather than anything else.

It’s fine. "

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By *r99mr99Man  over a year ago

Ealing


"Not a prayer

He would spend an hour gorilla glued to the wall for suggesting it

Would you glue his ass cheeks shut if he came out gay "

Jesus that's a horrible thought - that I bet somewhere it's happened and still does

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By *ezebelWoman  over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"

My kid identified as Yoda for about 2 months when he was a wee one, the walk to school was a cunting nightmare, 15 mins walking normally: 35 mins shuffling like Yoda.

"

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"Saw a post on the face of book about a wee boy who has asked his mum to wear a communion dress. He wears like Disney princess dresses and high heels to play but the mother says he identifies as a boy.

Would you let your kid wear the dress if it’s what he wanted or would you be worried about him being bullied for being different?"

No I wouldn't. The same as if I were going to a wedding he couldn't go as Spider-Man.

I think we're in danger of over thinking things. It's ok to say no, it's not appropriate. Dressing up at home, going out with friends etc, no problem: time and place.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman  over a year ago

little house on the praire

my grandson is 3. He has all different football kits he wears. Is into boy stuff but also has a pushchair and doll and a princess from frozen outfit. Let them do what they like

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"For his communion or just to knock about the house in?

My kid identified as Yoda for about 2 months when he was a wee one, the walk to school was a cunting nightmare, 15 mins walking normally: 35 mins shuffling like Yoda.

For a religious ceremony, no, I wouldn't let him wear a communion dress. I think looking back on it in years he'd wonder why his mother had allowed him to do that, especially if he was identifying as a boy.

P"

My view too

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By *wazuluMan  over a year ago

edinburgh

My so identified as a

Ninja turtle

Mr Been

The hulk

Our dog - slept in the basket and wanted to eat dog food (he didn't btw)

They are kids, wonderful vivid imaginations. Does not mean that's what they really are, or will be - it's just fantasy.

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"Saw a post on the face of book about a wee boy who has asked his mum to wear a communion dress. He wears like Disney princess dresses and high heels to play but the mother says he identifies as a boy.

Would you let your kid wear the dress if it’s what he wanted or would you be worried about him being bullied for being different?

I would be more concerned about the parents that let their child bully others for being different.

There’s another thread running about discipline in schools . And the fact that plenty of people say in that one that the parents are more the problem than the teachers says it all really .

The vast majority of parents treat their kids as the most innocent and precious little luvvies in the world . As far as they are concerned their kids can’t possibly do any wrong . So of course they let their kids bully other kids for being different , because in their mind their kids are always right !

It’s a sad state of affairs but tell me it isn’t like this now . "

Read comments under news articles, especially those concerning The Duchess of Sussex. Nasty, racist, bullying comments posted anonymously.

These people don't just spout their venom online but at home in front of their children giving them carte blanche to be nasty to anyone different.

The parents of bullies are bullies themselves so of course they're not going to recognise the poison apple that has fallen from their tree.

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By *ud and BryanCouple  over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

We've never seen a problem with letting kids dress as they like, after all, until the C20th. It was entirely normal for prebuscent boys and girls to be dressed the same.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Saw a post on the face of book about a wee boy who has asked his mum to wear a communion dress. He wears like Disney princess dresses and high heels to play but the mother says he identifies as a boy.

Would you let your kid wear the dress if it’s what he wanted or would you be worried about him being bullied for being different?

I would be more concerned about the parents that let their child bully others for being different.

There’s another thread running about discipline in schools . And the fact that plenty of people say in that one that the parents are more the problem than the teachers says it all really .

The vast majority of parents treat their kids as the most innocent and precious little luvvies in the world . As far as they are concerned their kids can’t possibly do any wrong . So of course they let their kids bully other kids for being different , because in their mind their kids are always right !

It’s a sad state of affairs but tell me it isn’t like this now .

Read comments under news articles, especially those concerning The Duchess of Sussex. Nasty, racist, bullying comments posted anonymously.

These people don't just spout their venom online but at home in front of their children giving them carte blanche to be nasty to anyone different.

The parents of bullies are bullies themselves so of course they're not going to recognise the poison apple that has fallen from their tree."

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By *vcarolTV/TS  over a year ago

kilmarnockish


"I don't see what the problem is with letting young children decide what dress up outfit they want.

Playing in the opposite gender outfit won't make them gay, trans or a cross dresser. It's just children playing and they should be allowed to have fun!

"

No truer words spoken

As someone who has a conflicted life, attitudes in society have changed dramatically in the last few years, still a wee bit to go, but we’re getting there.

IMO, the boy can wear what HE decides.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Saw a post on the face of book about a wee boy who has asked his mum to wear a communion dress. He wears like Disney princess dresses and high heels to play but the mother says he identifies as a boy.

Would you let your kid wear the dress if it’s what he wanted or would you be worried about him being bullied for being different?"

I'd be asking the person buying the dresses to stop! He's a f*cking wee boy...get spiderman next time or i'll shove the fairy godmother's wand so far up your ass, your sh*t will come out sparkly!

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By *vcarolTV/TS  over a year ago

kilmarnockish


"Saw a post on the face of book about a wee boy who has asked his mum to wear a communion dress. He wears like Disney princess dresses and high heels to play but the mother says he identifies as a boy.

Would you let your kid wear the dress if it’s what he wanted or would you be worried about him being bullied for being different?

I'd be asking the person buying the dresses to stop! He's a f*cking wee boy...get spiderman next time or i'll shove the fairy godmother's wand so far up your ass, your sh*t will come out sparkly!"

Your entitled to your opinion, but if that’s his initial signs of wanting to change his sexuality, would you want him internally tormented for the rest of his life. Or trying to conform to society and failing.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Saw a post on the face of book about a wee boy who has asked his mum to wear a communion dress. He wears like Disney princess dresses and high heels to play but the mother says he identifies as a boy.

Would you let your kid wear the dress if it’s what he wanted or would you be worried about him being bullied for being different?

I'd be asking the person buying the dresses to stop! He's a f*cking wee boy...get spiderman next time or i'll shove the fairy godmother's wand so far up your ass, your sh*t will come out sparkly!

Your entitled to your opinion, but if that’s his initial signs of wanting to change his sexuality, would you want him internally tormented for the rest of his life. Or trying to conform to society and failing.

"

To be honest. I don't buy into the trans and gender debates. I would treat and dress a kid in boys or girls clothing according to their sex. If they want to change that in the future, that's up to them. Once they are old enough to understand all the ins and outs. Which i highly doubt they would be able to do until adulthood. Some may say that would be causing inner problems and mental anguish. Truth is, we don't know enough about the whole subject as adults. Whether trans or not. Psychologically it is a very new phenomena and i think society at the minute is too quick to go along with it all. There is just too little known and understood, i feel, to allow children to decide their course of action.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think people are missing the point a little, we aren't talking about playing dress up at home, we aren't talking about popping down the corner shop in a Robin hood outfit. This is for the childs communion.

As said earlier, my kid walked like Yoda for 2 fucking months (I'm serious, he even pretended he had a walking stick)

He also got incredibly upset because I wouldn't allow him to marry the dog. "Why can't I marry her, I love her?

I think if the child DID identify as a girl, then it would be something to be taken into consideration, however the child does not, so in my opinion the parent should parent, and teach the child that you can't always get what ya want buddio, you'll thank me for it when you look back on the photos in 10 years time (or 10 mins depending on how quick the kid changes his mind)

P

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Not a prayer

He would spend an hour gorilla glued to the wall for suggesting it

Would you glue his ass cheeks shut if he came out gay "

Duck tape?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Saw a post on the face of book about a wee boy who has asked his mum to wear a communion dress. He wears like Disney princess dresses and high heels to play but the mother says he identifies as a boy.

Would you let your kid wear the dress if it’s what he wanted or would you be worried about him being bullied for being different?

I'd be asking the person buying the dresses to stop! He's a f*cking wee boy...get spiderman next time or i'll shove the fairy godmother's wand so far up your ass, your sh*t will come out sparkly!"

It's because of that attitude that parents are scared to dress their boys in female clothing, when they obviously like to, and won't let them play with dolls or make up.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Saw a post on the face of book about a wee boy who has asked his mum to wear a communion dress. He wears like Disney princess dresses and high heels to play but the mother says he identifies as a boy.

Would you let your kid wear the dress if it’s what he wanted or would you be worried about him being bullied for being different?

I'd be asking the person buying the dresses to stop! He's a f*cking wee boy...get spiderman next time or i'll shove the fairy godmother's wand so far up your ass, your sh*t will come out sparkly!

It's because of that attitude that parents are scared to dress their boys in female clothing, when they obviously like to, and won't let them play with dolls or make up.

"

Yes and its that attitude that has enabled society not to have issues with this in the past. When kids are playing that is different. When they aren't, they'll be dressed as per their sex. Kids are not mature enough nor do they know enough to make decisions like that. I think its a mental issue.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think people are missing the point a little, we aren't talking about playing dress up at home, we aren't talking about popping down the corner shop in a Robin hood outfit. This is for the childs communion.

As said earlier, my kid walked like Yoda for 2 fucking months (I'm serious, he even pretended he had a walking stick)

He also got incredibly upset because I wouldn't allow him to marry the dog. "Why can't I marry her, I love her?

I think if the child DID identify as a girl, then it would be something to be taken into consideration, however the child does not, so in my opinion the parent should parent, and teach the child that you can't always get what ya want buddio, you'll thank me for it when you look back on the photos in 10 years time (or 10 mins depending on how quick the kid changes his mind)

P"

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By *loswingersCouple  over a year ago

Gloucester


"I think people are missing the point a little, we aren't talking about playing dress up at home, we aren't talking about popping down the corner shop in a Robin hood outfit. This is for the childs communion.

As said earlier, my kid walked like Yoda for 2 fucking months (I'm serious, he even pretended he had a walking stick)

He also got incredibly upset because I wouldn't allow him to marry the dog. "Why can't I marry her, I love her?

I think if the child DID identify as a girl, then it would be something to be taken into consideration, however the child does not, so in my opinion the parent should parent, and teach the child that you can't always get what ya want buddio, you'll thank me for it when you look back on the photos in 10 years time (or 10 mins depending on how quick the kid changes his mind)

P

"

The voice of reason

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Saw a post on the face of book about a wee boy who has asked his mum to wear a communion dress. He wears like Disney princess dresses and high heels to play but the mother says he identifies as a boy.

Would you let your kid wear the dress if it’s what he wanted or would you be worried about him being bullied for being different?

I'd be asking the person buying the dresses to stop! He's a f*cking wee boy...get spiderman next time or i'll shove the fairy godmother's wand so far up your ass, your sh*t will come out sparkly!

Your entitled to your opinion, but if that’s his initial signs of wanting to change his sexuality, would you want him internally tormented for the rest of his life. Or trying to conform to society and failing.

To be honest. I don't buy into the trans and gender debates. I would treat and dress a kid in boys or girls clothing according to their sex.

.

.

***

If they want to change that in the future, that's up to them. Once they are old enough to understand all the ins and outs. Which i highly doubt they would be able to do until adulthood. Some may say that would be causing inner problems and mental anguish. Truth is, we don't know enough about the whole subject as adults. Whether trans or not. Psychologically it is a very new phenomena and i think society at the minute is too quick to go along with it all. There is just too little known and understood, i feel, to allow children to decide their course of action.

***"

*** I agree with this.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think people are missing the point a little, we aren't talking about playing dress up at home, we aren't talking about popping down the corner shop in a Robin hood outfit. This is for the childs communion.

As said earlier, my kid walked like Yoda for 2 fucking months (I'm serious, he even pretended he had a walking stick)

He also got incredibly upset because I wouldn't allow him to marry the dog. "Why can't I marry her, I love her?

I think if the child DID identify as a girl, then it would be something to be taken into consideration, however the child does not, so in my opinion the parent should parent, and teach the child that you can't always get what ya want buddio, you'll thank me for it when you look back on the photos in 10 years time (or 10 mins depending on how quick the kid changes his mind)

P

The voice of reason "

Let's be honest, the time it took me to write that the child probably already has changed his mind!

And no, I wouldn't let my child dress up as Buzz Lightyear to a wedding either. That bit didn't actually happen, but the Yoda and wanting to marry the dog did.

P

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