FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Using fab the wrong way?
Using fab the wrong way?
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By *innypops OP Couple
over a year ago
Huddersfield |
Something we've been talking about together recently is how we are using fab and if we're viewing it the wrong way.
How we are doing things at the moment is browsing, sending a message or giving a wink and hoping to find like-minded people. Limited success so far. Yes, we've had some meets. This has been partially successful. But should we be using this site to find new friends? Or should we be using this site to keep in touch with friends we already know? The forums are a little different, this is more a meeting of minds and people that want a natter and have something to say.
You wouldn't browse for people on other social media and expect to strike up friendships. They are primarily used to keep in contact with people we already know.
How you meet people in the real world is getting out there in person and then keeping contact with them in these ways, not by primarily meeting them here for the most part.
So maybe we should really be getting out there more.....Going to clubs, socials meeting people and being in the real world, finding people we get on with then keeping in touch here?
We would love there to be more socials, clubs are great but it's generally a bigger night than just going for a drink.
Thoughts? |
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By *innypops OP Couple
over a year ago
Huddersfield |
"My friends on here have come through chatting in the forum and chatrooms. "
Also a very good point. Do you think there's a significant difference in outlook between people that use the forums than those that don't? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thoughts?? Pass however, what a fabulous bottom you have Kirsty! Wow so smooth looking.... 
On a serious note, think fab should be used to do both, find new and keep in touch. Some people take this way to seriously, it’s supposed to be fun light hearted is it not? Maybe I have it wrong? Yes be great to see a profile, say hi and strike up a conversation of which could lead to a meet and who knows? but there’s so many single guys on here, that’s seldom going to occur.
Still here’s to happy fabbing guys. |
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"My friends on here have come through chatting in the forum and chatrooms.
Also a very good point. Do you think there's a significant difference in outlook between people that use the forums than those that don't? "
Yes, I do |
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By *innypops OP Couple
over a year ago
Huddersfield |
"My friends on here have come through chatting in the forum and chatrooms.
Also a very good point. Do you think there's a significant difference in outlook between people that use the forums than those that don't?
Yes, I do "
What do you think the difference is? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My friends on here have come through chatting in the forum and chatrooms.
Also a very good point. Do you think there's a significant difference in outlook between people that use the forums than those that don't? "
Certainly it is much easier to get to know people through both of those tools, than by messaging alone. Also my whole approach to messaging was reframed by being on the forum. I rarely send a first message these days. I expect little. On the whole I just enjoy myself on here and convey a bit of my personality. I think you then get drawn like magnets towards people who get each other.
As to the outlook being different I imagine there probably is a difference. Particularly about the attitude to conversation and ways to communicate. But I hesitate to draw any general conclusions from my particular and therefore limited experience. |
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"Something we've been talking about together recently is how we are using fab and if we're viewing it the wrong way.
How we are doing things at the moment is browsing, sending a message or giving a wink and hoping to find like-minded people. Limited success so far. Yes, we've had some meets. This has been partially successful. But should we be using this site to find new friends? Or should we be using this site to keep in touch with friends we already know? The forums are a little different, this is more a meeting of minds and people that want a natter and have something to say.
You wouldn't browse for people on other social media and expect to strike up friendships. They are primarily used to keep in contact with people we already know.
How you meet people in the real world is getting out there in person and then keeping contact with them in these ways, not by primarily meeting them here for the most part.
So maybe we should really be getting out there more.....Going to clubs, socials meeting people and being in the real world, finding people we get on with then keeping in touch here?
We would love there to be more socials, clubs are great but it's generally a bigger night than just going for a drink.
Thoughts? "
How I use Fab varies according to my mood and my levels of resilience at the time. I have moved more toward the forums and away from profile trawling.
For me the most active sex organ is the brain and it took me a while to realise that this is where I should start my search. |
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By *innypops OP Couple
over a year ago
Huddersfield |
"
How I use Fab varies according to my mood and my levels of resilience at the time. I have moved more toward the forums and away from profile trawling.
For me the most active sex organ is the brain and it took me a while to realise that this is where I should start my search. "
I think this is exactly where we are just now! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its been pointed out to me many times that I'm not fab material and I'll not find what I'm looking for here . But surely everyone is different and once they are happy with their journey here then it is the place for you. If we all danced to the same tune life would be so boring. Theres no right way or wrong way here . Just be honest and true to yourself and above all respect everyone's feelings and opinions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Something we've been talking about together recently is how we are using fab and if we're viewing it the wrong way.
How we are doing things at the moment is browsing, sending a message or giving a wink and hoping to find like-minded people. Limited success so far. Yes, we've had some meets. This has been partially successful. But should we be using this site to find new friends? Or should we be using this site to keep in touch with friends we already know? The forums are a little different, this is more a meeting of minds and people that want a natter and have something to say.
You wouldn't browse for people on other social media and expect to strike up friendships. They are primarily used to keep in contact with people we already know.
How you meet people in the real world is getting out there in person and then keeping contact with them in these ways, not by primarily meeting them here for the most part.
So maybe we should really be getting out there more.....Going to clubs, socials meeting people and being in the real world, finding people we get on with then keeping in touch here?
We would love there to be more socials, clubs are great but it's generally a bigger night than just going for a drink.
Thoughts?
How I use Fab varies according to my mood and my levels of resilience at the time. I have moved more toward the forums and away from profile trawling.
For me the most active sex organ is the brain and it took me a while to realise that this is where I should start my search. "
What do you mean resilience? As in like getting no replies bothers you more when you're not happy? |
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"Something we've been talking about together recently is how we are using fab and if we're viewing it the wrong way.
How we are doing things at the moment is browsing, sending a message or giving a wink and hoping to find like-minded people. Limited success so far. Yes, we've had some meets. This has been partially successful. But should we be using this site to find new friends? Or should we be using this site to keep in touch with friends we already know? The forums are a little different, this is more a meeting of minds and people that want a natter and have something to say.
You wouldn't browse for people on other social media and expect to strike up friendships. They are primarily used to keep in contact with people we already know.
How you meet people in the real world is getting out there in person and then keeping contact with them in these ways, not by primarily meeting them here for the most part.
So maybe we should really be getting out there more.....Going to clubs, socials meeting people and being in the real world, finding people we get on with then keeping in touch here?
We would love there to be more socials, clubs are great but it's generally a bigger night than just going for a drink.
Thoughts?
How I use Fab varies according to my mood and my levels of resilience at the time. I have moved more toward the forums and away from profile trawling.
For me the most active sex organ is the brain and it took me a while to realise that this is where I should start my search.
What do you mean resilience? As in like getting no replies bothers you more when you're not happy?"
Oddly enough getting no replies is easier than dealing with a lot of replies here. As a bi guy I have the “fancy a fuck”, “let me fuck you now” “ accom now?” that I am sure lots do. I also get the replies using only text speak or only a single word such as fuck? or wank? After a while it wears me down, hence my comment. Just my views on the fab life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I use other social media to make new friends. Facebook specific interest groups has given me real friends all over the Globe. My art on Instagram attracts new people into my life. Dating apps have given my a few new amigos. So why not Fab?
Use it how you're most comfortable, if you feel you're doing it wrong, maybe try something new to see if it works. If not, no harm done. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you're happy with the way things are going and you're getting what you want from this site then there's no need to change your approach.
but if you don't feel that you're getting what you want then maybe you should start messaging people, building up friendships whatever it is that you decide to do,so I guess it's what you want out of the site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're happy and you know it clap ya hands with the way things are going and you're getting what you want from this site then there's no need to change your approach.
but if you don't feel that you're getting what you want then maybe you should start messaging people, building up friendships whatever it is that you decide to do,so I guess it's what you want out of the site. "
clap clap  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're happy and you know it clap ya hands with the way things are going and you're getting what you want from this site then there's no need to change your approach.
but if you don't feel that you're getting what you want then maybe you should start messaging people, building up friendships whatever it is that you decide to do,so I guess it's what you want out of the site. clap clap "
Oh my goodness autocorrect completely changed that. I didn't even notice.
How funny. |
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By *innypops OP Couple
over a year ago
Huddersfield |
"If you're happy and you know it clap ya hands with the way things are going and you're getting what you want from this site then there's no need to change your approach.
but if you don't feel that you're getting what you want then maybe you should start messaging people, building up friendships whatever it is that you decide to do,so I guess it's what you want out of the site. clap clap "
Tbag |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This is an interesting thread, I was thinking on the way home if FabS has a shelf life. I’ve contacted all the local people that I’d like to meet with, mostly without a reply (so not interested I assume), or a straight no thanks. (which is fine). So, not having been successful the choice is to either lower standards, which isn’t going to happen, or just visit the forums and see what is going on.
Either way I seem to have exhausted the site for its primary purpose. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Something we've been talking about together recently is how we are using fab and if we're viewing it the wrong way.
How we are doing things at the moment is browsing, sending a message or giving a wink and hoping to find like-minded people. Limited success so far. Yes, we've had some meets. This has been partially successful. But should we be using this site to find new friends? Or should we be using this site to keep in touch with friends we already know? The forums are a little different, this is more a meeting of minds and people that want a natter and have something to say.
You wouldn't browse for people on other social media and expect to strike up friendships. They are primarily used to keep in contact with people we already know.
How you meet people in the real world is getting out there in person and then keeping contact with them in these ways, not by primarily meeting them here for the most part.
So maybe we should really be getting out there more.....Going to clubs, socials meeting people and being in the real world, finding people we get on with then keeping in touch here?
We would love there to be more socials, clubs are great but it's generally a bigger night than just going for a drink.
Thoughts?
How I use Fab varies according to my mood and my levels of resilience at the time. I have moved more toward the forums and away from profile trawling.
For me the most active sex organ is the brain and it took me a while to realise that this is where I should start my search.
What do you mean resilience? As in like getting no replies bothers you more when you're not happy?
Oddly enough getting no replies is easier than dealing with a lot of replies here. As a bi guy I have the “fancy a fuck”, “let me fuck you now” “ accom now?” that I am sure lots do. I also get the replies using only text speak or only a single word such as fuck? or wank? After a while it wears me down, hence my comment. Just my views on the fab life. "
Ok that makes sense. I get the same, hence the shit profile to put 99% off mailing me. |
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"Something we've been talking about together recently is how we are using fab and if we're viewing it the wrong way.
How we are doing things at the moment is browsing, sending a message or giving a wink and hoping to find like-minded people. Limited success so far. Yes, we've had some meets. This has been partially successful. But should we be using this site to find new friends? Or should we be using this site to keep in touch with friends we already know? The forums are a little different, this is more a meeting of minds and people that want a natter and have something to say.
You wouldn't browse for people on other social media and expect to strike up friendships. They are primarily used to keep in contact with people we already know.
How you meet people in the real world is getting out there in person and then keeping contact with them in these ways, not by primarily meeting them here for the most part.
So maybe we should really be getting out there more.....Going to clubs, socials meeting people and being in the real world, finding people we get on with then keeping in touch here?
We would love there to be more socials, clubs are great but it's generally a bigger night than just going for a drink.
Thoughts?
How I use Fab varies according to my mood and my levels of resilience at the time. I have moved more toward the forums and away from profile trawling.
For me the most active sex organ is the brain and it took me a while to realise that this is where I should start my search.
What do you mean resilience? As in like getting no replies bothers you more when you're not happy?
Oddly enough getting no replies is easier than dealing with a lot of replies here. As a bi guy I have the “fancy a fuck”, “let me fuck you now” “ accom now?” that I am sure lots do. I also get the replies using only text speak or only a single word such as fuck? or wank? After a while it wears me down, hence my comment. Just my views on the fab life.
Ok that makes sense. I get the same, hence the shit profile to put 99% off mailing me. "
And does it work? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's no right or wrong way. Use it the way you want to. Maybe you are questioning yourselves based on your perception of others 'success'? There is a minority on here who try to advertise themselves in this way, no idea why.....? I think this gives a false impression to others that they themselves are doing it wrong.
Be true to yourselves and enjoy it together
 |
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By *innypops OP Couple
over a year ago
Huddersfield |
"There's no right or wrong way. Use it the way you want to. Maybe you are questioning yourselves based on your perception of others 'success'? There is a minority on here who try to advertise themselves in this way, no idea why.....? I think this gives a false impression to others that they themselves are doing it wrong.
Be true to yourselves and enjoy it together
"
No, it's not a comparison thing. It's more a case of not fi ding our feet quite yet. Also more the frustration of not finding our next door neighbour on here who we both really fancy |
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"There's no right or wrong way. Use it the way you want to. Maybe you are questioning yourselves based on your perception of others 'success'? There is a minority on here who try to advertise themselves in this way, no idea why.....? I think this gives a false impression to others that they themselves are doing it wrong.
Be true to yourselves and enjoy it together
No, it's not a comparison thing. It's more a case of not fi ding our feet quite yet. Also more the frustration of not finding our next door neighbour on here who we both really fancy "
Or maybe you have |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's no right or wrong way. Use it the way you want to. Maybe you are questioning yourselves based on your perception of others 'success'? There is a minority on here who try to advertise themselves in this way, no idea why.....? I think this gives a false impression to others that they themselves are doing it wrong.
Be true to yourselves and enjoy it together
No, it's not a comparison thing. It's more a case of not fi ding our feet quite yet. Also more the frustration of not finding our next door neighbour on here who we both really fancy "
The neighbour one is easy! Chat, become friends, flirt, invite around for drink, hey presto!
Your welcome |
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Mainly we just use the forums now. We are still waiting on our first experience together in this. (Which we hope is going to be very soon, after having to cancel at the last minute recently). We have chatted to couples and got on well with them, as you may remember O.P. but as we are still at the very start of this, we don't want to seem as though we are leading anyone on, so the chats have become more like small talk and generally fizzled out, then it becomes a bit awkward to resurrect them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I thought I was using Fab in the best way for me, like the OP I was browsing, messaging, meeting.
But since discovering clubs and more recently socials I’ve discovered that a combination approach works really well.
I’ve not found forums useful for meeting (although I met one very lovely forumite initially at a social) .
I do use Fab to find both friends and sex partners, and I’m lucky enough to have made some lasting friendships here
Fab has been good to me! |
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Tbag
