FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why waste time reading profiles?
Why waste time reading profiles?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list? |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list?"
We do this. We now only meet at parties and clubs, that way you get a feel if you are physically and sexually attracted to them  |
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Assuming the person has a pic or two that fairly represent them , I fully agree with the op on this one .
I guess the profile text is good for some to ascertain comparability , but at the end of the day it’s just words . When we are out , we find that meeting people and chatting with them gives a much better perspective than any profile ever will . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If anyone uses my profile to decide that they will meet me they must be off their head  "
Fine if they use it to decide not to meet me though. That is it’s purpose. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list?
We do this. We now only meet at parties and clubs, that way you get a feel if you are physically and sexually attracted to them "
Did you change that on purpose because you found you preferred it that way? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Assuming the person has a pic or two that fairly represent them , I fully agree with the op on this one .
I guess the profile text is good for some to ascertain comparability , but at the end of the day it’s just words . When we are out , we find that meeting people and chatting with them gives a much better perspective than any profile ever will ."
I've always found you to be one of the most 'humane', respectful couples/ people on here. I know many will say that what you do (did) is 'fuck n go' and mean that in a derogatory way, but I don't think that at all. You always seem to treat meets like people, not pieces of meat.
I hope you know what I mean by all that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If anyone uses my profile to decide that they will meet me they must be off their head "
I'm fucking mental then. I've just read it imagining as though I've never interacted with you ever before and I'd ask to meet you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Reading a profile can only give us a hint at what the person may be like that may then be confirmed, or not, if you start chatting."
What if it gives the wrong impression? We could miss out on someone amazing. |
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"If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list?"
Says the woman who only meets people between 47-49 years old  |
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"Assuming the person has a pic or two that fairly represent them , I fully agree with the op on this one .
I guess the profile text is good for some to ascertain comparability , but at the end of the day it’s just words . When we are out , we find that meeting people and chatting with them gives a much better perspective than any profile ever will .
I've always found you to be one of the most 'humane', respectful couples/ people on here. I know many will say that what you do (did) is 'fuck n go' and mean that in a derogatory way, but I don't think that at all. You always seem to treat meets like people, not pieces of meat.
I hope you know what I mean by all that. "
I do , and I totally respect that .
We are good examples of how people can be so different when you meet them in person . Everyone we’ve met who have seen us post on here over the years , say we are nothing like the way we come across on the forum . And that’s in a good way ( well I guess it couldn’t be in a bad way lol ! ) |
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"If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list?"
If you're on a sex site do you really give a fuck what their favourite colour is or are you wanting to find out if they like anal?
You need a common ground to start, and a profile is a good start. |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
I dont meet people off here as such. I'm not cleaver or creative enough to come up with unique messages for people to ignore . I just use it to see whats happening where, make ideal chit chat on the forums and chat rooms and keep in touch with friends I've made over the years here or at clubs and socials. |
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"If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list?"
Most definitely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list?"
We're selling ourselves in a different way here though, for the better or worse. We have added ourselves to a menu.
There is nothing to stop the more human conversations once you've scanned the cv. It makes everything totally open and upfront in one way by being so blunt with things, if a bit comiacal.'Hey anal wasn't on the list, back the fuck out'   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list?
We're selling ourselves in a different way here though, for the better or worse. We have added ourselves to a menu.
There is nothing to stop the more human conversations once you've scanned the cv. It makes everything totally open and upfront in one way by being so blunt with things, if a bit comiacal.'Hey anal wasn't on the list, back the fuck out' "
Good point, you've given me a positive perspective on it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Doesn't it save time when you make it clear that there are things you are not looking for on your profile though? "
Good point if the thing is non negotiable. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list?
Says the woman who only meets people between 47-49 years old "
Do I?
Exactly the point I'm making. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If anyone uses my profile to decide that they will meet me they must be off their head
I'm fucking mental then. I've just read it imagining as though I've never interacted with you ever before and I'd ask to meet you. "
That makes too of us |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I find a good way to ascertain compatibility and to see if I like the way that the person writes, if they use humour, etc.
Personally I think that the profile text is very important for many reasons.
As an observation though, of the people posting on the thread that say it isn't important, how many of you have told new guys asking why they can't meet to write a longer/better profile? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If anyone uses my profile to decide that they will meet me they must be off their head
I'm fucking mental then. I've just read it imagining as though I've never interacted with you ever before and I'd ask to meet you.
That makes too of us "
Not sure if I should be flattered or insulted. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I find a good way to ascertain compatibility and to see if I like the way that the person writes, if they use humour, etc.
Personally I think that the profile text is very important for many reasons.
As an observation though, of the people posting on the thread that say it isn't important, how many of you have told new guys asking why they can't meet to write a longer/better profile? "
I don't think I've ever told a newbie to write a better profile but my memory is shit.
The humour point- my favourite profile (of mine) is my fake veris one because it works on so many different levels. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If anyone uses my profile to decide that they will meet me they must be off their head
I'm fucking mental then. I've just read it imagining as though I've never interacted with you ever before and I'd ask to meet you.
That makes too of us
Not sure if I should be flattered or insulted. "
I have a habit of creating that kind of confusion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list?"
This is why i find the profiles that have some tedious attempt a sarcasm "yes im fine, i had a good weekend, im just chillin, now you gone have to ask" funny.
If people cant say hello and a normal ice breaker without you losing it how do they cope in real life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list?"
Not sure if it is an age thing, but I am much less tolerant of lazy introductions these days
Once upon a time they were an often amusing diversion, but I've found recently that they've really begun to irk me
Being a bloke - and a bloke who enjoys 'a bit of both' at that - seems to put me in the 'must be up for it' category
So few people approach me with genuine introductions it's almost unsettling.
Pretty much every unsolicited message I get is looking for random 'meet now' sex - no interest in me beyond my potential ability to act as a receptacle or poking stick
It's gotten so common that it has become boring and staid
I like sex but I like people more.
I enjoy getting to know people.
I enjoy making friendships here - they are often without the ties and binds that 'real life' friendships offer, whilst giving the freedom to be sexually open and expressive, even if that is no more than over a coffee or a couple of drinks.
It's a shame there isn't more of it to be found
I'm with you on this one OP |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list?
We do this. We now only meet at parties and clubs, that way you get a feel if you are physically and sexually attracted to them
Did you change that on purpose because you found you preferred it that way?"
Yes we did We have met several lovely people on here, but also been let down a few times and some were not what they seemed to be, as per their profiles. There is no pressure at clubs or parties, as there can be with one to one meets. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I think the importance of profile text probably depends on what category you sit in - for women and, to a lesser extent, couples it's not so important as they will get messages regardless and have the luxury of choosing who they respond to.
For single men, the importance of a decent profile is significant to help them stand out from the crowd and make an impression on people they message with a view to potentially meeting - sure they may send a decent message but it's well known that most people will check the profile before even reading it as it adds another dimension to that interaction.
Personally I will always look at the profile of anyone I am interacting with, regardless of gender, as it gives me an insight into that person beyond the message they have sent. |
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It's why we insist on socials. However its no good us meeting people socially who want something completely different to us, they get cross because they expect some sort of sexual activity somewhere down the line. Profiles come in handy to establish common ground on paper. |
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I feel that it is useful to explain my gender and sexuality on my profile. It maybe cuts down on some unwanted contacts, and when i do get contacts from those who don't read profiles i can simply refer them back to it instead of explaining again by pm.
I suppose it might even eventually prompt someone to contact me because they like what they read there... (Is that a pig with wings I see going past the window?)
Polly xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Profiles are very important to me, if someone is coming across as angry, swearing unnecessarily, arrogant, demanding and 420 friendly (to name but a few!) Then I don't care what they look like, they aren't for me. I wouldn't get that perspective from a few pictures.
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By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago
swingers clubs |
"If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list?"
This is why we only ever meet in real life (clubs,socials,parties) and engage in chat there but never online |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I feel that it is useful to explain my gender and sexuality on my profile. It maybe cuts down on some unwanted contacts, and when i do get contacts from those who don't read profiles i can simply refer them back to it instead of explaining again by pm.
I suppose it might even eventually prompt someone to contact me because they like what they read there... (Is that a pig with wings I see going past the window?)
Polly xx"
You make a fair point Polly. I agree that sometimes profile text *is* worthwhile. X |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
I enjoy reading a profile. Sometimes I’m left feeling like I want to know more, other times I pass on by. Either way, it’s a little bit of something extra to help you get a sense of a person. They don’t always match up to the profile text though, so as with everything on here, treat with caution |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think for us profiles are important because we aren’t your ‘average’ couple (as in we are both big) so reading a profile if it’s states that they don’t like the larger couple, it’s useful and also because we aren’t a couple that is looking for another couple, we state that in our profile, which as someone said further up, it cuts down on messages (which are always welcome).
At the end of the day, it is just words as you point out and so much can be misconstrued, meeting in person is so much more beneficial to everyone but if we know in advance (I mean they can see from our pictures we aren’t slim chickens lol) and what we are ‘after’ and vice versa, it does cut down on all that admin.
If I was single, I think I could put on my profile the word parrot and I would still get meets from men, that’s not me being big headed it’s because I am a woman with a vagina and I find most of the men, not all of them, aren’t really fussy about words etc.
That’s just my little opinion.
Geeky x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think for us profiles are important because we aren’t your ‘average’ couple (as in we are both big) so reading a profile if it’s states that they don’t like the larger couple, it’s useful and also because we aren’t a couple that is looking for another couple, we state that in our profile, which as someone said further up, it cuts down on messages (which are always welcome).
At the end of the day, it is just words as you point out and so much can be misconstrued, meeting in person is so much more beneficial to everyone but if we know in advance (I mean they can see from our pictures we aren’t slim chickens lol) and what we are ‘after’ and vice versa, it does cut down on all that admin.
If I was single, I think I could put on my profile the word parrot and I would still get meets from men, that’s not me being big headed it’s because I am a woman with a vagina and I find most of the men, not all of them, aren’t really fussy about words etc.
That’s just my little opinion.
Geeky x"
I'll do that as an experiment. |
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By *olgateMan
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
"If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list?"
I prefer the tick list. It saves time having to get to know people |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list?
I prefer the tick list. It saves time having to get to know people "
Same. Less chance of them being put off.  |
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"If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list?
We do this. We now only meet at parties and clubs, that way you get a feel if you are physically and sexually attracted to them "
This is us xx |
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"If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list?"
This is why meeting people in clubs is frequently more successful than trying to meet on Fab.
A meh profile and mundane pictures don't metter if you have good conversational skills and a fun personality.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you meet someone in real life you talk to them. Find out likes and dislikes. Things in common.
They don't just silently hand you a cv of who they've fucked and a list of sex acts they're into.
Wouldn't it be better to just ignore the profile and treat the person like an actual human being and not a porn tick list?
This is why meeting people in clubs is frequently more successful than trying to meet on Fab.
A meh profile and mundane pictures don't metter if you have good conversational skills and a fun personality.
"
Not so good if the pics personality and conversation are all shit.  |
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