FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How old would someone need to be ...
How old would someone need to be ...
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... before you took their label of being dominant seriously? You see it all the time, and we are all entitled to label and categorise ourselves however we please, but it doesn’t necessarily make it true. So my question is this: if you were searching for a ‘dom’ where do you draw the line age wise? Pure curiosity as I’ve seen lots of late teens/early 20s profiles describing themselves as Dom/bull and I really struggle to take them seriously  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you can be a young dom. But the role gets better with confidence and experience.
Ive tried to be sub..... but can never last before my natural dom side comes out. |
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Everyone starts somewhere and if someone is learning their "trade" at a young age I can't really see a problem. I wouldn't want a very young man in a dominant role but to me 30 would be too young. Its all relative.
Not taking young people seriously is a tad patronising I feel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd class myself as a dom
But what do you class as a dom?
Just remember a dom who can push your limits needs YOU to feel SAFE! 
I've had a lot of Mates who class themselves as Dom's but really they mean they shout and demand things to be done ...they try to get what they want ...etc ...you may aswell call yourself a TOP and be gay!
There's a LOT more to being a Dom and that starts with building trust |
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"I'd class myself as a dom
But what do you class as a dom?
Just remember a dom who can push your limits needs YOU to feel SAFE!
I've had a lot of Mates who class themselves as Dom's but really they mean they shout and demand things to be done ...they try to get what they want ...etc ...you may aswell call yourself a TOP and be gay!
There's a LOT more to being a Dom and that starts with building trust "
True but you can learn that at any age. If a 50 year old dom was with a 20 year old sub I think eyebrows would be raised by some |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont think it comes down to age.
In the kink world we have come across 50 year old men labeling themselves as doms but dont have a clue as to what they are doing and have not learnt anything about the lifestyle.
But we have also made some great friends with male and females aged around 25 who have spent time to lean and understand the role and all it entails.
They have very successful D/s relationships and are trustworthy and know within the scene to be safe plays
And I think this is the danger when we try and judge if someone's a dom due to their age instead of their knowledge x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Close to my age. I feel like I wouldn't respect nor have enough authority for someone who's too much younger than me.
I think mind-set's important too. For me, if I'm going to submit to someone I find that they need the wisdom and experience to be able to really understand each other and mutual likes and dislikes. The mental & emotional side of submitting is more crucial to me than the physical pain side, and some 'Doms' don't understand that regardless of their age. |
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"Late 30s, early 40s +
Those younger I feel like they’ve heard of 50 shades and think that’s what being a Dom is.
There are plenty of older people who think that way.
"
You’re right, there are likely to be many but in my personal experience younger guys try the bully tactic, older are true to it. I had a very bad experience with one who was 30, he was horrible, because of him I’ve completely stepped away from such relationships. Because of him and messages I get from younger guys I get the 50 shade horribleness vibe. Of course I’m not tarnishing all with the same brush but for me to feel safe I’m personally going with my thoughts |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I don't think it's necessarily about age, although it does come into it, but more about mindset and knowledge - there are some very dangerous people in their 40s and 50s who call themselves "dominant" who don't have the first clue about BDSM, likewise there are probably some in their 20s or younger who are very much dominant and knowledgeable on the subject.
It's probably more about relative age and connection and chemistry - just as I would find it hard to swing with someone in their 20s, as we wouldn't have a great deal in common, so I would find it hard to submit to someone of that age, for the same reasons - but that doesn't mean to say that someone closer to that age wouldn't find the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not attracted to young guys but have a few friends in their twenties that I would absolutely trust in that context. They have great knowledge and respect and Id trust them implicitly. My worst experience was with a guy my own age that completely faked a genuine interest in bdsm and turned out to be a monster. It's not an age thing, it's a maturity thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dam I feel proud to be in my early 20s with some knowledge of a Dom sub relationship. I've had 1 and it's still going! Like it's been said before it's more of a lifestyle than a night in fling tied up and being whipped with a paddle lol. I find the best teachers the women I've been with. |
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