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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Dommes looking for male subs are the unicorns of the BDSM world, unless you want to visit a professional.
The other site mentioned is a good place to start, as is attending local fetish events and munches (socials for BDSMers) - it might also help if you expand on what you are looking for beyond the few words you have in your profile - subs come in all shapes, forms and varieties so think about not only the type of sub you think you are, but the type of Domme you think you'd be looking for.
Any Domme worth meeting will want to know those kinds of things about you.
Might help to seek out one of the on-line BDSM questionnaires too which will help you understand more about yourself and your interests. |
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Bear in mind that, like Fab, Fet also has a ratio of about 1000:1 men to women, + theres a larger global spread, + those women are split between subs, dommes & others, so, if anything, your chances of finding someone compatible are even lower than here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi thanks for taking the time to post , I am quite new to the scene and. Little wet behind the ears but I have noticed I’m very much looking for needles in haystacks somewhat
Yes there is a club quite close and I’m building up the courage to visit haha |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Hi thanks for taking the time to post , I am quite new to the scene and. Little wet behind the ears but I have noticed I’m very much looking for needles in haystacks somewhat
Yes there is a club quite close and I’m building up the courage to visit haha"
Everyone has to start somewhere - but that being the case, be very careful - there are a lot of dangerous people out there on both sides of the D/s coin - my advice to you would be to take a pause for breath and forget about finding anyone for now, take a step back and firstly think long and hard about exactly what you think being submissive means to you - read as much as you can on the subject, and when you think you have read enough, read some more (two books I always recommend are Screw The Roses Bring Me The Thorns and SM101 - both are available through Amazon).
As I suggested earlier get along to local munches and talk to people, don't be afraid to tell them this is new to you and you're finding your way still - most will be welcoming and happy to discuss.
Also if your interest is borne out of watching BDSM porn on-line, wipe it from your mind - most porn of that nature is not representative of what most people practice.
Give some thought to things like limits, what you think you like and don't like - those questionnaires I mentioned are excellent for getting your head round that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wow... lot to take in
Ok thanks very much I’ll look into the books and see what else I can see
I also feel like I’m not sure on a lot of things and what my limits are without trying
Thanks again |
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Come to munchs and meet people. Don't go looking for a partner/Domme, come and make friends with all kinds of people. Go to workshops and talk to people who are experienced in areas you're interested in and learn all about safety and techniques, even if you wish to be on the receiving end of things rather than the giving. Then you will be well on your way to being ready to meet a Dominant woman if the right one crosses your path. Feel free to message me for local munch dates. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Wow... lot to take in
Ok thanks very much I’ll look into the books and see what else I can see
I also feel like I’m not sure on a lot of things and what my limits are without trying
Thanks again "
Not a problem - you can never know too much but you can know too little.
As for limits - seriously set them very high until you are more sure of yourself.
A good way to get an idea of what they might be is those on-line questionnaires I've mentioned - the good ones have lists of just about every BDSM related activity going and you rate each one 1-5 - 1 being "Never in a month of Sundays" to 5 being "Cor blimey yes please" - the activities listed range from the mild to the eye watering and everything you can imagine in between. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow... lot to take in
Ok thanks very much I’ll look into the books and see what else I can see
I also feel like I’m not sure on a lot of things and what my limits are without trying
Thanks again
Not a problem - you can never know too much but you can know too little.
As for limits - seriously set them very high until you are more sure of yourself.
A good way to get an idea of what they might be is those on-line questionnaires I've mentioned - the good ones have lists of just about every BDSM related activity going and you rate each one 1-5 - 1 being "Never in a month of Sundays" to 5 being "Cor blimey yes please" - the activities listed range from the mild to the eye watering and everything you can imagine in between."
You’d do well to take Gemini’s advice. Set your limits far higher than you’d usually consider, it’s safer to ease them down as you go.
Look up Birmingham bizarre bazaar too x |
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