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Death- are you organised?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know it’s going to happen to us all one day but when my mum died she had no wishes in place so we thought we do what we thought she would like. When my brother died last year his was planned out, he put money aside for the funeral, the wake and knew exactly where he wanted his money to go to. I’m on my mid 40s and not ill but I’ve nothing in place, no life insurance (no children) I feel very disorganised about it all.
Husband got life insurance etc and knows exactly what funeral he wants.
Am I the only one with my head in the sand. If I don’t plan anything I’ll won’t have to think about it. |
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I have life insurance. I've told my kids what I want doing with my ashes, told them what music I want. Told my best friend to come and get all my toys and outfits out so the kids don't have to find them x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not yet, but I will be.
My mum had her funeral paid for, coffin picked out, funeral songs and who she wanted to speak at her funeral.
It made it much easier for us, even though there was still a lot of organising to do.
Not long before she died she came in to me and my younger sister and said she had out some extra money in her briefcase for flowers and the wake. I think she knew she didn't have long.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No your not the only one, true I am only 28 so got a while before I have to think about all that I hope but you never do know "
No you don’t. It must be a worry for some families when they haven’t got a spare £4K to spend on a funeral. Think I need to get some life instance x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My brother who was a bit tight with money said don’t get me an expensive coffin as it’s money going up in smoke. The vicar actually read that out at his service and had everyone laughing as we knew how stingy he was. Bless him  |
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Hmm, I can go in the same plot as my dad, we put him 10ft down to allow room for mum my brother and myself.
As for the costs, whoever is arranging it all can just use me savings... I won't need them  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have life insurance. I've told my kids what I want doing with my ashes, told them what music I want. Told my best friend to come and get all my toys and outfits out so the kids don't have to find them x"
Never thought about that! |
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"I have life insurance. I've told my kids what I want doing with my ashes, told them what music I want. Told my best friend to come and get all my toys and outfits out so the kids don't have to find them x
Never thought about that! "
Fully planned
Will done
Body donated to a university no funeral |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi Mrs Heels,
My Mum had a folder on her computer with her wishes. She spoke to me now and then about her desires, but my siblings never looked at the folder, nor spoke to her about it as they couldn't bring themselves to.
If it worries you, make your feelings known. At the very least, speak to your husband about it. My Mum knew the music that she wanted too.
You never know what will happen or when; Hopefully not too soon, but both my wife and I have had accidents that could have easily gone the wrong way!
By the way, you do look rather sexy.
Paul |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would like to think one of my friends would delete my browser history and burn the hardrives.
Other than that i suppose the government will get everything |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have life insurance. I've told my kids what I want doing with my ashes, told them what music I want. Told my best friend to come and get all my toys and outfits out so the kids don't have to find them x
Never thought about that!
Fully planned
Will done
Body donated to a university no funeral"
What do they do once they’ve used your body do they then cremate you? Just curious x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi Mrs Heels,
My Mum had a folder on her computer with her wishes. She spoke to me now and then about her desires, but my siblings never looked at the folder, nor spoke to her about it as they couldn't bring themselves to.
If it worries you, make your feelings known. At the very least, speak to your husband about it. My Mum knew the music that she wanted too.
You never know what will happen or when; Hopefully not too soon, but both my wife and I have had accidents that could have easily gone the wrong way!
By the way, you do look rather sexy.
Paul"
Thank you Paul and sorry about your mum xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would like to think one of my friends would delete my browser history and burn the hardrives.
Other than that i suppose the government will get everything"
Family will get some well my niece and the rest to charity. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
I have life insurance with work which is 10
Time my annual salary. This ensures I will get a decent send off
As a lot of my vanilla friends are from football I have said they can all come in football shirts to my funeral.
Songs take me home country road by John Denver. Angels by Robbie.
I want to be buried rather than cremated. I want my own headstone with something witty on it
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have life insurance with work which is 10
Time my annual salary. This ensures I will get a decent send off
As a lot of my vanilla friends are from football I have said they can all come in football shirts to my funeral.
Songs take me home country road by John Denver. Angels by Robbie.
I want to be buried rather than cremated. I want my own headstone with something witty on it
"
Everyone was in blues shirts at my brothers and we play Keep right on too! |
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"No your not the only one, true I am only 28 so got a while before I have to think about all that I hope but you never do know "
Not wishing to make things any more morbid but we all need to think about it whatever our age. Just over a year ago my youngest brother fell down the stairs, broke his neck, stone dead! He was 32.
Our family & friends have known for years what we do & don't want. We should all talk about death, it's the only thing guaranteed in this life, we should make it as easy as possible for the people we leave behind.
Happy Thursday everyone! S  |
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By *inxybWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
My 18 year old niece said to me yesterday ‘Auntie A, before you die will you write down what words you would speak about me at my funeral please? You’ve done fantastic at everyone else’s and I don’t want to be missed out!’ I think there’s a compliment there but one I never thought I’d hear! Saying that, I never thought I’d be planning four funerals as quickly as I did.
My husband died last year with no will, no life insurance, nothing in place...this lack of planning really did make everything so much more difficult for me, so from experience, if you’re in a position to put plans in place, do so...those you love and leave behind will appreciate it, x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm mostly sorted, life insurance, mortgage insurance etc, donor card registered, so no money or choice probs. Just the people left behind to arrange the paperwork & the afterparty  "
There's an awful lot of arranging to do after someone dies. It's exhausting. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I cannot get life insurance due to heath issues ,death does not bother me I've died once and no there was no bright lights or angles,,  "
Always wondered if there was a bright lights, I remember a friend saying she had died but was told to go back as it wasn’t her time yet x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My 18 year old niece said to me yesterday ‘Auntie A, before you die will you write down what words you would speak about me at my funeral please? You’ve done fantastic at everyone else’s and I don’t want to be missed out!’ I think there’s a compliment there but one I never thought I’d hear! Saying that, I never thought I’d be planning four funerals as quickly as I did.
My husband died last year with no will, no life insurance, nothing in place...this lack of planning really did make everything so much more difficult for me, so from experience, if you’re in a position to put plans in place, do so...those you love and leave behind will appreciate it, x"
Oh dear, that must have been terribly sad for you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My 18 year old niece said to me yesterday ‘Auntie A, before you die will you write down what words you would speak about me at my funeral please? You’ve done fantastic at everyone else’s and I don’t want to be missed out!’ I think there’s a compliment there but one I never thought I’d hear! Saying that, I never thought I’d be planning four funerals as quickly as I did.
My husband died last year with no will, no life insurance, nothing in place...this lack of planning really did make everything so much more difficult for me, so from experience, if you’re in a position to put plans in place, do so...those you love and leave behind will appreciate it, x"
I had this with my ex ex husband. No money at the time either to pay for a basic funeral. |
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By *inxybWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
"My 18 year old niece said to me yesterday ‘Auntie A, before you die will you write down what words you would speak about me at my funeral please? You’ve done fantastic at everyone else’s and I don’t want to be missed out!’ I think there’s a compliment there but one I never thought I’d hear! Saying that, I never thought I’d be planning four funerals as quickly as I did.
My husband died last year with no will, no life insurance, nothing in place...this lack of planning really did make everything so much more difficult for me, so from experience, if you’re in a position to put plans in place, do so...those you love and leave behind will appreciate it, x
I had this with my ex ex husband. No money at the time either to pay for a basic funeral. "
Fortunately after having gone through three funerals with the same funeral director, they gave me some leeway with paying for the fourth one! |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"I have life insurance with work which is 10
Time my annual salary. This ensures I will get a decent send off
As a lot of my vanilla friends are from football I have said they can all come in football shirts to my funeral.
Songs take me home country road by John Denver. Angels by Robbie.
I want to be buried rather than cremated. I want my own headstone with something witty on it
"
My brother gets my entire football shirt collection!!! Over 50 shirts |
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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago
Bristol East |
i've asked my kids to send my ashes to a firework factory and mix me with lots of sparkles in a huge rocket.
Then, invite my friends to a party at my house and send me to the stars with a bang!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i've asked my kids to send my ashes to a firework factory and mix me with lots of sparkles in a huge rocket.
Then, invite my friends to a party at my house and send me to the stars with a bang!
"
I think that’s lovely xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Truthfully, I don't care. I have no kids, no husband and don't care what happens to me when I'm gone. The only thing I'm going to do is make a will so that no-one comes out of the woodwork to argue about what little stuff I have left. |
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When I deployed I made sure all my accounts/bills/subscriptions etc were in one folder so it was easy to contact everyone and close everything down.
I also had my will, death letters and funeral all planned out. That's all old data now though, should probably sort it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Anyone thinking of donating a body needs to make the plans in life. Don't make the mistake of thinking it's an easy thing to do, it isn't. And even if it's provisionally accepted in life,m make a plan B because there's no guarantee it will be taken in death |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've life insurance, I want my body to go to a bodyfarm or medical research so there will be no body to cermate/bury.
That's all I got now "
Hmm a neighbour of ours did this and several years later his family were presented with what remained. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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God yeah I’ve got loads of life insurance. Mortgage gets paid off plus a few others policies. Couldn’t cope with thinking my kids won’t be ok if anything happened to me or their dad. Also got one that pays out a lot if I die before I’m 50 so I’m bloody hoping that was wasted money I paid! |
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"I know it’s going to happen to us all one day but when my mum died she had no wishes in place so we thought we do what we thought she would like. When my brother died last year his was planned out, he put money aside for the funeral, the wake and knew exactly where he wanted his money to go to. I’m on my mid 40s and not ill but I’ve nothing in place, no life insurance (no children) I feel very disorganised about it all.
Husband got life insurance etc and knows exactly what funeral he wants.
Am I the only one with my head in the sand. If I don’t plan anything I’ll won’t have to think about it. "
I have a current will (god forbid the old one would be used, leaving everything to my ex) and everyone important in my life knows my wishes for organ donation, cremation, etc.
I don't have my accounts written down in one place though, and have bits scattered all over; that's on my to do list.
I also need to write down my wishes in case I am unable to make decisions for my care at any point.
I know the people closest in my life well enough to be assured they'd make the best choices, if they can, but need to go about doing it legally.
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Frankly i couldn't care less what happens to the bits of me that are left, just celebrate my life. I don't want any burdens no plots, no headstone and no plaques. I would rather whatever money would go to a funeral instead go to my children to let them live.. Failing that make me into fireworks. |
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By *andonmessMan
over a year ago
A world all of his own |
I had a will made out about 7-8 years ago for personal reasons as I don't have a spouse or children.
Financially I won't leave any issues but possessions wise, I haven't really given any thoughts to whom might want what  Tbf it shouldn't be an issue as my family aren't materialistic at all.
I guess I should at least make people aware that I want to be cremated and my ashes slung wherever the fuck they want to |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've life insurance, I want my body to go to a bodyfarm or medical research so there will be no body to cermate/bury.
That's all I got now
Hmm a neighbour of ours did this and several years later his family were presented with what remained. "
Didn’t think we had bodyfarms in the U.K. yet? Remember seeing the one in America with Stephen Fry years ago. |
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Had a heart attack a year ago , touch and go for a while . Made me realise how vulnerable I am so I sought solicitors advice in making a will .
All done and sorted , and I would recommend everyone do it . You never know what’s round the corner . |
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"Yep I’m organised ... music I want , wicker coffin ... was gonna be cremated but when my partner passed 3yrs ago and he was buried I’ve changed my mind .... so There’s room for me to be buried with him "
The house is left to the youngest other 2 have been sorted with houses .... money for the funeral too |
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After all the deaths in my family last year I decided to take out a simple plan, I have told my sons no cars, no flowers, cheap cardboard or wicker coffin and I’m not even bothered about a service, after seeing some of my family struggle to pay for their loved ones funerals I don’t want my boys worrying about anything like that. |
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SS's dad died at the beginning of January, about 20 minutes after he had been to see him.
SS organised a minimalist cremation for £899.
We're going to intern his ashes in a family plot in Merthyr when the weather is better (the crematorium plots get very boggy) and the family can all attend.
One of our friends is a Priest; we're not a religious family, but he does awesome services and will say a few words on the day.
L
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Trying to locate a grave at the moment which was me grandads who died in the 60s. Sadly no headstone but there is another plot which my Nan brought by lost the paperwork. I’d ideally like to put my nans, mums and my brothers ashes in the plot.
Help x |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
My family talk about it a lot and are quite open about what we want and things...
My husband gets everything.
My best friend has emergency access to my password manager and will clear all computers/phones and kill social media for me. He will also help move all my BDSM/fet stuff out of the house.
He's more likely to be able to cope then my husband and the last thing my husband would need is family finding stuff we'd rather they didn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know it’s going to happen to us all one day but when my mum died she had no wishes in place so we thought we do what we thought she would like. When my brother died last year his was planned out, he put money aside for the funeral, the wake and knew exactly where he wanted his money to go to. I’m on my mid 40s and not ill but I’ve nothing in place, no life insurance (no children) I feel very disorganised about it all.
Husband got life insurance etc and knows exactly what funeral he wants.
Am I the only one with my head in the sand. If I don’t plan anything I’ll won’t have to think about it. "
I know what I want to happen, and have shared this with family and all appropriate people, however I've done nothing about it yet.
I suspect I'm about to be made redundant in the next month and will be sort all that sort of stuff if I am. Got life insurance sorted and had conversation re will with solicitor just need to finalise it and discuss with ex. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"Trying to locate a grave at the moment which was me grandads who died in the 60s. Sadly no headstone but there is another plot which my Nan brought by lost the paperwork. I’d ideally like to put my nans, mums and my brothers ashes in the plot.
Help x"
If you know the funeral site, just call the cemetery and ask.
I done that went to the family plot in the United States. Said my great grandmother and father were likely buried in the same plot. Was given list of them and three kids.
Some may charge you a small fee |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Trying to locate a grave at the moment which was me grandads who died in the 60s. Sadly no headstone but there is another plot which my Nan brought by lost the paperwork. I’d ideally like to put my nans, mums and my brothers ashes in the plot.
Help x
If you know the funeral site, just call the cemetery and ask.
I done that went to the family plot in the United States. Said my great grandmother and father were likely buried in the same plot. Was given list of them and three kids.
Some may charge you a small fee "
Thank you I will do xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My gf has will with all details, simply that way she can get on with enjoying the party with no difficulties accessing moneys etc.. You re never really too young, especially if you have dependants.. No one knows whats around corner.. Mind you I have a DNR on med records so best to make her life easy considering my work and lifestyle  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have life insurance, which I should get and update.
I don't want a service either, told my boys to remember me anyway they wish too but in no way do I want them sat in a cold church or crem looking at a box.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no life insurance, which I know I should sort out soon, I’m almost 40 so should start putting things in place.
I have got all my wishes written down so when it comes to my funeral at least they don’t have to stress about what I like and don’t like.
Geeky x |
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It cost £8500 to sort my aunts estate out.... Because she didn't have a will... Even then, the benefisary was more than likely awarded to who I would thought she, d have wished.... It went to her brother who she, d fell out with 35 years ago... |
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