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Your last fart
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mine rarely smell unless I've got an upset tummy.
Gotta be honest Bs don't whiff either. We're all bark and no bite.
There was one time though I swear he let one drop that engulfed me in a cloud and I was chewing on it.
I love you babe
P |
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"What did it smell of?
If you can’t remember then I’d like you to force one out now and tell me the fragrance.
Thank you please."
When I got this morning I was farting loudly with almost every step I took - which obviously made me snigger! 
Sadly they didn’t smell of anything though - and I’ve had a poo now so I’ll be fartless for a while I imagine!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"indescribable, just know it didn't smell like that when i ate it"
I’m gonna use the medium of imagination to determine the smell for you and describe it...
I’m sensing an eggy overtone.
Hint of beef.
Essence of tree bark.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mine rarely smell unless I've got an upset tummy.
Gotta be honest Bs don't whiff either. We're all bark and no bite.
There was one time though I swear he let one drop that engulfed me in a cloud and I was chewing on it.
I love you babe
P"
Ahhhhhh, you guys.
So cutey
Cut the bullshit, your shit stinks just like everyone else’s, princess! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mine rarely smell unless I've got an upset tummy.
Gotta be honest Bs don't whiff either. We're all bark and no bite.
There was one time though I swear he let one drop that engulfed me in a cloud and I was chewing on it.
I love you babe
P
Ahhhhhh, you guys.
So cutey
Cut the bullshit, your shit stinks just like everyone else’s, princess!"
My shit does, there are times a cherry air freshener wedged under my nostril just won't cut the mustard and I pray for death, as I must be going mouldy on the inside anyway to produce a smell sent from the devil himself.
My trumps on the other hand, they're comical noisy buggers who only offend the eardrums of those who are fun pumps in reverse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What did it smell of?
If you can’t remember then I’d like you to force one out now and tell me the fragrance.
Thank you please."
Not my thing but I've bottled one for you. Where shall I send it?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What did it smell of?
If you can’t remember then I’d like you to force one out now and tell me the fragrance.
Thank you please.
When I got this morning I was farting loudly with almost every step I took - which obviously made me snigger!
Sadly they didn’t smell of anything though - and I’ve had a poo now so I’ll be fartless for a while I imagine! "
Odourless farts are a myth, it’s just that you’ve gotten used to your own smell.
You’ve gone personal fart nose blind.
I reckon yours smell like Parma ham.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mine rarely smell unless I've got an upset tummy.
Gotta be honest Bs don't whiff either. We're all bark and no bite.
There was one time though I swear he let one drop that engulfed me in a cloud and I was chewing on it.
I love you babe
P"
I take a break from DIY to be greeted by this nonsense? 
B |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What did it smell of?
If you can’t remember then I’d like you to force one out now and tell me the fragrance.
Thank you please.
Not my thing but I've bottled one for you. Where shall I send it? "
A message in a bottle!
Pop a cork in it and drop it in the sea, it’ll find us eventually. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What did yours smell of?
And Laceys too, can't leave her out
P"
It’s what prompted this thread, I had a few pints of worthingtons last night as the lager down the club was 
The perp I just left in the site office this morning was atrocious!
Smell wise It reminded me of a newly opened jar of pickled eggs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What did yours smell of?
And Laceys too, can't leave her out
P
It’s what prompted this thread, I had a few pints of worthingtons last night as the lager down the club was
The perp I just left in the site office this morning was atrocious!
Smell wise It reminded me of a newly opened jar of pickled eggs."
Oh, I’ve never in all the years we’ve known each other I’ve never known Lacey trump. Not once  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mine rarely smell unless I've got an upset tummy.
Gotta be honest Bs don't whiff either. We're all bark and no bite.
There was one time though I swear he let one drop that engulfed me in a cloud and I was chewing on it.
I love you babe
P
I take a break from DIY to be greeted by this nonsense?
B"
How rude... Nonsense!
I’ll have you know this is a very scientific thread, full of posts from the fab elite highbrow community.
Get back to the diy man  |
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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
"I don't fart I puff perfume from my posterior. "
Do you bottle it?
If not you’re missing a massive money-making opportunity - folks on here would go loopy for Essence de Rubibutt.
I can see you on Dragon’s Den in three years time asking for £80,000 to go global.
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Various levels of over seasoned kebab. Started at bedtime. It was a terrible night filled with horrific smells and nightmares you couldn't imagine.
As an aside, anyone remember Roy Castle? Apparently when he blew a high C on his trumpet you couldn't squeeze an American Express card between the cheeks of his arse.
Great way to hold a fart in or blame it on the trumpet... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Beef stew.. May have been a flavour of turnip and carrots in there too.. Very very comforting
...
The fish ones are the worse"
That’s a classically British sounding parp |
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Rotting fish guts, putrified flesh and Lemon Bon-bons. But mine vary throughout the day.
Seriously... I dropped one of those toxic room-clearer bombs in our tiny staff base this morning when no-one was in but me. Then immediately after the "parp" had silenced... four colleagues (one of whom I really fancy) crowded in, just when the atmosphere was at 'Peak Nausea Level'.
I said "I think there is something gone off in the fridge" and calmly unwrapped my Ryebread Sandwich with Stilton and Banana and tucked in.
I'm not sure if anyone was convinced. |
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"Beef stew.. May have been a flavour of turnip and carrots in there too.. Very very comforting
...
The fish ones are the worse
That’s a classically British sounding parp "
We beg to differ. Sprout farts are by far the worst. Straight from Beelzibub's rectum those buggers.
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