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Sex, is there a new ‘norm’?
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This was suggested to me yesterday but I’m not convinced. I just think non vanilla sex is more readily discussed etc. This isn’t swinging related but more about the expectations of the type of sex that is considered the ‘norm’. Has it changed and what is the then and now? What do you consider to be vanilla sex? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vanilla sex is vanilla sex + anal and soft toys.
I don’t class anal as vanilla! It's so common now, I can't possibly call it taboo or kinky"
Depends how you do it 
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"Vanilla sex is vanilla sex + anal and soft toys.
I don’t class anal as vanilla! It's so common now, I can't possibly call it taboo or kinky"
Thanks God for not making me common. * That's my arsehole. Still as God made it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vanilla sex is vanilla sex + anal and soft toys.
I don’t class anal as vanilla! It's so common now, I can't possibly call it taboo or kinky"
You are right, anal is very much part of my sex life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vanilla sex is vanilla sex + anal and soft toys.
I don’t class anal as vanilla! It's so common now, I can't possibly call it taboo or kinky
Depends how you do it
"
Women receiving is vanilla, men receiving is kinky  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vanilla sex is vanilla sex + anal and soft toys.
I don’t class anal as vanilla! It's so common now, I can't possibly call it taboo or kinky
Depends how you do it
Women receiving is vanilla, men receiving is kinky "
Perfect response |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vanilla sex is vanilla sex + anal and soft toys.
I don’t class anal as vanilla! It's so common now, I can't possibly call it taboo or kinky
Depends how you do it
Women receiving is vanilla, men receiving is kinky
Perfect response "
Haha even that's going to change in the next few years given the amount of pegging threads on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One person's vanilla is another's raspberry ripple"
This is right. I think the availability of watching porn, and seeing what can be explored has opened up peoples adventurous sides in the bedroom. Missionary was okay if that’s all you knew, but we see also sorts of sex and kinks that speak to us. So, my kinks are normal to some because they discovered the same in this modern age, but completely ‘out there’ to my friends who visit church each Sunday and think showing cleavage is still wrong. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
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Then = they kept their clothes on mostly and he lifted her nightie and intercourse commenced.
Now = kissing, touching, oral, intercourse, most likely missionary.
No funny stuff! That’s vanilla then and now |
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"One person's vanilla is another's raspberry ripple
This is right. I think the availability of watching porn, and seeing what can be explored has opened up peoples adventurous sides in the bedroom. Missionary was okay if that’s all you knew, but we see also sorts of sex and kinks that speak to us. So, my kinks are normal to some because they discovered the same in this modern age, but completely ‘out there’ to my friends who visit church each Sunday and think showing cleavage is still wrong. "
Showing cleavage is wrong? Oops |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vanilla sex is vanilla sex + anal and soft toys.
I don’t class anal as vanilla! It's so common now, I can't possibly call it taboo or kinky
Depends how you do it
"
This. What if it’s pegging? Still normal?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So my hypothesis is that sexual ‘norms’ are very different now from “back in the day” - times change of course but I think the widespread availability of online porn has changed perceptions of what is “normal” behaviour.
For example, I was a young ‘un coming over a ladies face wasn’t considered mainstream, now look at any amateur website and everyone’s pulling their dick out and spaffing all over their partners face.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t like anal but view it as vanilla for women but not for men too "
Just because something has become more commonplace doesn't make it vanilla in my view |
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"Then = they kept their clothes on mostly and he lifted her nightie and intercourse commenced.
Now = kissing, touching, oral, intercourse, most likely missionary.
No funny stuff! That’s vanilla then and now "
Missionary? That’s it?  |
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"I don’t like anal but view it as vanilla for women but not for men too
Just because something has become more commonplace doesn't make it vanilla in my view"
Do you know what, I think that’s actually what I think but couldn’t get to it on my own |
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I don't think sex has changed so much. People are speaking of anal as if it's just been invented. There has been buggery since the dawn of humans ...
Think time in history and place in geography ...... it's not the same world wide or time wise.
What is viewed as moral, normal/mainstream etc is as reliable as a yo-yo.
People are more open about their sexual preferences as acceptances and abhorrences shift in society.
Porn does LESS to vary sexual activities than it does to cater to male taste. Which is more often why it's women with jizz covered faces and gagging like a whore in the middle of a gangbang. |
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"I’m still trying to establish which sex positions are considered the norm/vanilla these days? "
I don't think positions are non-vanilla, after all the Joy of Sex came out in 1972 and contained plenty - our parents had that book! |
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"I’m still trying to establish which sex positions are considered the norm/vanilla these days?
I don't think positions are non-vanilla, after all the Joy of Sex came out in 1972 and contained plenty - our parents had that book!"
Nooooooo stop it!!!! |
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"This was suggested to me yesterday but I’m not convinced. I just think non vanilla sex is more readily discussed etc. This isn’t swinging related but more about the expectations of the type of sex that is considered the ‘norm’. Has it changed and what is the then and now? What do you consider to be vanilla sex? "
I think people’s views and expectations of sex - particularly the younger generation - have changed beyond recognition in my lifetime/adulthood!
From my late teens I was every boyfriends ‘best Shag by far!’ How did I get that accolade? Simply my moving rather than lying like a rag doll, regularly changing position (including getting on top) and occasionally putting their cock in my mouth! This - and actually enjoying it - was enough to separate me hugely from any other girlfriend/sexual partner any of them had had!
Fast forward 30+ years and I’m quite sure that the young adult me would be considered very vanilla/boring!
People are expected to do everything seen on porn in order to be ‘good in bed’ or sexually adventurous! Whether they all enjoy it or not is an entirely separate matter I think! |
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"This was suggested to me yesterday but I’m not convinced. I just think non vanilla sex is more readily discussed etc. This isn’t swinging related but more about the expectations of the type of sex that is considered the ‘norm’. Has it changed and what is the then and now? What do you consider to be vanilla sex?
I think people’s views and expectations of sex - particularly the younger generation - have changed beyond recognition in my lifetime/adulthood!
From my late teens I was every boyfriends ‘best Shag by far!’ How did I get that accolade? Simply my moving rather than lying like a rag doll, regularly changing position (including getting on top) and occasionally putting their cock in my mouth! This - and actually enjoying it - was enough to separate me hugely from any other girlfriend/sexual partner any of them had had!
Fast forward 30+ years and I’m quite sure that the young adult me would be considered very vanilla/boring!
People are expected to do everything seen on porn in order to be ‘good in bed’ or sexually adventurous! Whether they all enjoy it or not is an entirely separate matter I think! "
That’s very much inline with what someone suggested to me. I was sceptical although until Swing came along I’d had no experience of younger men (plus he isn’t THAT young shhhhh). You seem to have definitely seen and experienced the shift. If the young’uns are wanting all that why do these younger guys want to meet us more mature ladies? I know we won’t all be vanilla but given what you’ve said we’re more likely not to be wanting to do the things they expect. |
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"This was suggested to me yesterday but I’m not convinced. I just think non vanilla sex is more readily discussed etc. This isn’t swinging related but more about the expectations of the type of sex that is considered the ‘norm’. Has it changed and what is the then and now? What do you consider to be vanilla sex?
I think people’s views and expectations of sex - particularly the younger generation - have changed beyond recognition in my lifetime/adulthood!
From my late teens I was every boyfriends ‘best Shag by far!’ How did I get that accolade? Simply my moving rather than lying like a rag doll, regularly changing position (including getting on top) and occasionally putting their cock in my mouth! This - and actually enjoying it - was enough to separate me hugely from any other girlfriend/sexual partner any of them had had!
Fast forward 30+ years and I’m quite sure that the young adult me would be considered very vanilla/boring!
People are expected to do everything seen on porn in order to be ‘good in bed’ or sexually adventurous! Whether they all enjoy it or not is an entirely separate matter I think!
That’s very much inline with what someone suggested to me. I was sceptical although until Swing came along I’d had no experience of younger men (plus he isn’t THAT young shhhhh). You seem to have definitely seen and experienced the shift. If the young’uns are wanting all that why do these younger guys want to meet us more mature ladies? I know we won’t all be vanilla but given what you’ve said we’re more likely not to be wanting to do the things they expect. "
Why do they want us? Simple! 
.... because we actually know what we enjoy and focus on doing that bloody well - rather than trying to be second rate porn stars!
Take deep throat - for instance! Young people seem to think that’s a prerequisite for great sex! I’ll happily point out that I gag cleaning my own teeth sometimes! What I DO do though - like most other women of a similar age I suspect - I do because I love it rather than because I think I should! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This was suggested to me yesterday but I’m not convinced. I just think non vanilla sex is more readily discussed etc. This isn’t swinging related but more about the expectations of the type of sex that is considered the ‘norm’. Has it changed and what is the then and now? What do you consider to be vanilla sex?
I think people’s views and expectations of sex - particularly the younger generation - have changed beyond recognition in my lifetime/adulthood!
From my late teens I was every boyfriends ‘best Shag by far!’ How did I get that accolade? Simply my moving rather than lying like a rag doll, regularly changing position (including getting on top) and occasionally putting their cock in my mouth! This - and actually enjoying it - was enough to separate me hugely from any other girlfriend/sexual partner any of them had had!
Fast forward 30+ years and I’m quite sure that the young adult me would be considered very vanilla/boring!
People are expected to do everything seen on porn in order to be ‘good in bed’ or sexually adventurous! Whether they all enjoy it or not is an entirely separate matter I think! "
Brilliant,you have articulated something very important.The last paragraph reasonates espiecially. The best state of mind to be in about sex is relaxed. Youngsters have so much more things to have to be 'expert on' or lie about. Porn is not to be used as the last word on sexual conduct, I have learnt and enjoyed by doing not copying. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"This was suggested to me yesterday but I’m not convinced. I just think non vanilla sex is more readily discussed etc. This isn’t swinging related but more about the expectations of the type of sex that is considered the ‘norm’. Has it changed and what is the then and now? What do you consider to be vanilla sex?
I think people’s views and expectations of sex - particularly the younger generation - have changed beyond recognition in my lifetime/adulthood!
From my late teens I was every boyfriends ‘best Shag by far!’ How did I get that accolade? Simply my moving rather than lying like a rag doll, regularly changing position (including getting on top) and occasionally putting their cock in my mouth! This - and actually enjoying it - was enough to separate me hugely from any other girlfriend/sexual partner any of them had had!
Fast forward 30+ years and I’m quite sure that the young adult me would be considered very vanilla/boring!
People are expected to do everything seen on porn in order to be ‘good in bed’ or sexually adventurous! Whether they all enjoy it or not is an entirely separate matter I think!
That’s very much inline with what someone suggested to me. I was sceptical although until Swing came along I’d had no experience of younger men (plus he isn’t THAT young shhhhh). You seem to have definitely seen and experienced the shift. If the young’uns are wanting all that why do these younger guys want to meet us more mature ladies? I know we won’t all be vanilla but given what you’ve said we’re more likely not to be wanting to do the things they expect.
Why do they want us? Simple!
.... because we actually know what we enjoy and focus on doing that bloody well - rather than trying to be second rate porn stars!
Take deep throat - for instance! Young people seem to think that’s a prerequisite for great sex! I’ll happily point out that I gag cleaning my own teeth sometimes! What I DO do though - like most other women of a similar age I suspect - I do because I love it rather than because I think I should! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This was suggested to me yesterday but I’m not convinced. I just think non vanilla sex is more readily discussed etc. This isn’t swinging related but more about the expectations of the type of sex that is considered the ‘norm’. Has it changed and what is the then and now? What do you consider to be vanilla sex?
I think people’s views and expectations of sex - particularly the younger generation - have changed beyond recognition in my lifetime/adulthood!
From my late teens I was every boyfriends ‘best Shag by far!’ How did I get that accolade? Simply my moving rather than lying like a rag doll, regularly changing position (including getting on top) and occasionally putting their cock in my mouth! This - and actually enjoying it - was enough to separate me hugely from any other girlfriend/sexual partner any of them had had!
Fast forward 30+ years and I’m quite sure that the young adult me would be considered very vanilla/boring!
People are expected to do everything seen on porn in order to be ‘good in bed’ or sexually adventurous! Whether they all enjoy it or not is an entirely separate matter I think!
That’s very much inline with what someone suggested to me. I was sceptical although until Swing came along I’d had no experience of younger men (plus he isn’t THAT young shhhhh). You seem to have definitely seen and experienced the shift. If the young’uns are wanting all that why do these younger guys want to meet us more mature ladies? I know we won’t all be vanilla but given what you’ve said we’re more likely not to be wanting to do the things they expect.
Why do they want us? Simple!
.... because we actually know what we enjoy and focus on doing that bloody well - rather than trying to be second rate porn stars!
Take deep throat - for instance! Young people seem to think that’s a prerequisite for great sex! I’ll happily point out that I gag cleaning my own teeth sometimes! What I DO do though - like most other women of a similar age I suspect - I do because I love it rather than because I think I should! "
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
As others have touched on it's not so much what is considered "normal" as what is considered "acceptable" - when I was growing up "kink" to most was the kind of thing to be sniggered at and the salacious fodder of the "we made our excuses and left" tabloid press - now that same press has "how to" features on those very same acts - not because they are considered "normal" but because they are more accepted and to an extent respected as genuine interests.
To use another example, one of my major fantasies growing up was the idea of meeting someone who was shaven - this, at the time was considered something you only found in specialist magazines catering to that and considered most unusual - nowadays of course it's extremely commonplace.
All this acceptance of course is thanks to the availability of information about most kinks on the internet, that has led to people realising their "dirty fantasy", that they thought only they were interested in, was actually shared by many and that in turn has led to more openness and indeed acceptance.
Whilst I welcome this new spirit of openness and acceptance, every positive has a negative, and what I find sad is that the availability of information (including porn) and acceptance has led to some people (particularly teenagers) having false ideas of what is "normal" and pressure being put on those too young to understand to partake of activities that they're not ready to. Even on a site like this geared at adults we often see false perceptions about what is considered normal - whether that being expectations of doing a particular activity, or what is considered normal when it comes to abilities that is usually based on the "can go all night" perceptions that some get from porn. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m not really arsed what the new fancy way of doing sex is. I still do the same position now as I did the first time I ever had an orgasm when I was 17 years old. Guys full body weight on top of me and me reaching down to rub my bean. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not really arsed what the new fancy way of doing sex is. I still do the same position now as I did the first time I ever had an orgasm when I was 17 years old. Guys full body weight on top of me and me reaching down to rub my bean. "
That’s soooooooo romantic 
Also Lacey’s fav orgasm position |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not really arsed what the new fancy way of doing sex is. I still do the same position now as I did the first time I ever had an orgasm when I was 17 years old. Guys full body weight on top of me and me reaching down to rub my bean.
That’s soooooooo romantic
Also Lacey’s fav orgasm position "
Interesting, do you ever fly solo, home visits? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not really arsed what the new fancy way of doing sex is. I still do the same position now as I did the first time I ever had an orgasm when I was 17 years old. Guys full body weight on top of me and me reaching down to rub my bean.
That’s soooooooo romantic
Also Lacey’s fav orgasm position
Interesting, do you ever fly solo, home visits?"
*shakes head*
You’re no casual sex girl anyways.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not really arsed what the new fancy way of doing sex is. I still do the same position now as I did the first time I ever had an orgasm when I was 17 years old. Guys full body weight on top of me and me reaching down to rub my bean.
That’s soooooooo romantic
Also Lacey’s fav orgasm position
Interesting, do you ever fly solo, home visits?
*shakes head*
You’re no casual sex girl anyways.
"
I know but I’ve let another whole year go past without shagging anyone again! |
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