FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Manners maketh man

Manners maketh man

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So, I've got a Meet tonight. I feel it's ok to mention it, given we've already met on a Group Social I arranged with the help of another friend.

What I'd like to know is "At what point is it bad manners, impolite, unfair, thoughtless or inappropriate" To bring up stuff that may, or may not happen over the course of the evening. Given she'll hopefully verify me, it'd not be too hard to identify her on Fab, for those with curious minds.

Most people I know intimately don't even know about the Forum, let alone use it.

I know what I think, I'd just like to know what you think.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe discuss beforehand what she’d like to happen ?

Explain you don’t want to overstep the mark

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To discuss on the forum or with her?

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"So, I've got a Meet tonight. I feel it's ok to mention it, given we've already met on a Group Social I arranged with the help of another friend.

If I read this, I would refuse to verify!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would just take things one step at a time with no expectations

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Maybe discuss beforehand what she’d like to happen ?

Explain you don’t want to overstep the mark "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whilst understanding there has to be boundaries, perhaps just go with the flow.

Otherwise you run the risk of I'll insert part A into part B whilst you twiddle part C...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Umm just to clarify.

I'm of the view.. that I'd never give out any personal information at all about our meeting. It's not my style.

It was a question to all of you.

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By *harpDressed ManMan over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Is there anything particular you'd like to happen tonight" is an open question that she can answer with a demure "wait and see", a randy "seventeen orgasms", or some deep fantasy.

You can either react to whichever in the moment, or plan ahead for all three.

Or, excuse yourself, post back on here and crowdsource your next conversational contribution...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A conversation about what a man would like to happen later that evening would make my brain yawn.

Someone leant over a pub table, after we had been talking for about an hour, and whispered I really want to kiss you. That made my pulse quicken and sent a little flush of desire through me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"To discuss on the forum or with her? "

Manners about discussing her meet on the forum.

I don't intend to. I see others doing it though. That's why I'm asking.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So, I've got a Meet tonight. I feel it's ok to mention it, given we've already met on a Group Social I arranged with the help of another friend.

If I read this, I would refuse to verify!!

I don't blame you, that's sensible and kind of my point. I will be reminding her I use the Forum and that she doesn't have to verify me. Reassure her that I'd not do that sort of thing.

I'm just asking others what they'd do.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not sure what the question is, but that doesn’t usually stop me answering. But don’t talk about it, just go with the flow, feel her vibe, a woman is very much like a sports car, she will respond in a similar way, if you’re grinding the clutch back off and put her in neutral for a while.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To discuss on the forum or with her?

Manners about discussing her meet on the forum.

I don't intend to. I see others doing it though. That's why I'm asking."

If you don't intend to, and consider yourself a gentleman, why ask the question?

If everyone said "go for it, we want all the gory details" would you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Maybe discuss beforehand what she’d like to happen ?

Explain you don’t want to overstep the mark "

That's my plan. I'd like to know what she thinks anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't assume anything in particular will happen.

Anything might happen, unless she's specifically said she wants something then go with the flow.

If I'm having sex with someone and want anal, I ask for it.

Now and then, during sex with someone new, he rubs his fingers or cock over my butthole and if I make a positive noise he asks if he can go there.

Use your common sense and mouth to ask in the moment.

I don't think you can plan good sex.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always like to chat to the person before I meet and find out what they like and what they don’t that way you know what not to do so as to avoid any awkwardness or bad times

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To discuss on the forum or with her?

Manners about discussing her meet on the forum.

I don't intend to. I see others doing it though. That's why I'm asking."

Ah right. I think its pretty bad manners too.

Telling the odd unidentifiable story or experience that happened you can just about get away with I reckon but its a fine line.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To discuss on the forum or with her?

Manners about discussing her meet on the forum.

I don't intend to. I see others doing it though. That's why I'm asking.

If you don't intend to, and consider yourself a gentleman, why ask the question?

If everyone said "go for it, we want all the gory details" would you?"

My thoughts exactly.

This post is odd

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Go on op...you go first.....what do you think is good manners? I’ll let you know if I’m thinking the same.

This is what my kids do when they’re not sure what’s the right thing to answer is.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"To discuss on the forum or with her?

Manners about discussing her meet on the forum.

I don't intend to. I see others doing it though. That's why I'm asking.

If you don't intend to, and consider yourself a gentleman, why ask the question?

If everyone said "go for it, we want all the gory details" would you?"

No, I wouldn't. I'm glad you understand the question though, it seems I've over complicated it.

Not everyone thinks like I do. It's interesting to see how others think.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To discuss on the forum or with her?

Manners about discussing her meet on the forum.

I don't intend to. I see others doing it though. That's why I'm asking."

Loads of people talk about what's happened during sex with other FB users.

There has been many worse sex threads where people tell their stories, or worse thing that happened on a meet threads that fill up.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To discuss on the forum or with her?

Manners about discussing her meet on the forum.

I don't intend to. I see others doing it though. That's why I'm asking.

If you don't intend to, and consider yourself a gentleman, why ask the question?

If everyone said "go for it, we want all the gory details" would you?

My thoughts exactly.

This post is odd"

Thread

I meant thread

I wasnt saying that you are odd Mr Fever. Lol

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I don't discuss meets until they happened some time ago. The person I met might recognise themselves, but no one else is likely to. (there's one exception where there were witnesses, but I knew he wouldn't mind)

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"To discuss on the forum or with her?

Manners about discussing her meet on the forum.

I don't intend to. I see others doing it though. That's why I'm asking.

Ah right. I think its pretty bad manners too.

Telling the odd unidentifiable story or experience that happened you can just about get away with I reckon but its a fine line. "

I totally agree.

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

My manners are impeccable, a Gentleman never tells or assumes.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A conversation about what a man would like to happen later that evening would make my brain yawn.

Someone leant over a pub table, after we had been talking for about an hour, and whispered I really want to kiss you. That made my pulse quicken and sent a little flush of desire through me.

Yeah girl!That one always work

Add some mystery and Let the mind work a bit

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"To discuss on the forum or with her?

Manners about discussing her meet on the forum.

I don't intend to. I see others doing it though. That's why I'm asking.

If you don't intend to, and consider yourself a gentleman, why ask the question?

If everyone said "go for it, we want all the gory details" would you?

My thoughts exactly.

This post is odd"

Clearly. SteelHeels was met with the same response when she asked a hypothetical earlier in the week. Just because we know what we'd do, there's no harm in asking someone else what they'd do.

I don't think I've helped with my wording as some answers don't seem to understand what I'm asking, yet others do. For that, I apologise.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m not sure I understand the question...?

Take a small overnight bag with essentials to refresh and condoms/small bottle of lube.

That should be discreet enough to carry without telling her you’re prepared so to speak... and let the evening flow organically.

Save the toys for a second date

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To discuss on the forum or with her?

Manners about discussing her meet on the forum.

I don't intend to. I see others doing it though. That's why I'm asking.

If you don't intend to, and consider yourself a gentleman, why ask the question?

If everyone said "go for it, we want all the gory details" would you?

My thoughts exactly.

This post is odd

Thread

I meant thread

I wasnt saying that you are odd Mr Fever. Lol"

You have known me long enough to know you aren't wrong though...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To discuss on the forum or with her?

Manners about discussing her meet on the forum.

I don't intend to. I see others doing it though. That's why I'm asking.

Ah right. I think its pretty bad manners too.

Telling the odd unidentifiable story or experience that happened you can just about get away with I reckon but its a fine line.

I totally agree."

Yep. This is exactly what I would think. But most threads I’ve read are pretty vague, or you’d have to be a stalker of kind to do enough research to figure anything out. I haven’t got the interest in that type of snooping.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m not sure I understand the question...?

Take a small overnight bag with essentials to refresh and condoms/small bottle of lube.

That should be discreet enough to carry without telling her you’re prepared so to speak... and let the evening flow organically.

Save the toys for a second date

No no no.. I'm all sorted in those terms Thank you

I meant the manners on HERE in the forum. Being careful about what I say. To protect her identity and her privacy.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS over a year ago

Cheshire

"A conversation about what a man would like to happen later that evening would make my brain yawn.

Someone leant over a pub table, after we had been talking for about an hour, and whispered I really want to kiss you. That made my pulse quicken and sent a little flush of desire through me.

Absolutely this

even if you were only semi interested in them, the boldness and surprise that they said that would certainly push my buttons

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A conversation about what a man would like to happen later that evening would make my brain yawn.

Someone leant over a pub table, after we had been talking for about an hour, and whispered I really want to kiss you. That made my pulse quicken and sent a little flush of desire through me.

Absolutely this

even if you were only semi interested in them, the boldness and surprise that they said that would certainly push my buttons

You're all right and I feel the same way.

It's funny that is the example you gave, because that is exactly what happened when we first met.

Now I've given you personal information about her. Have I crossed the line already? Or is there a scale/gradient for you? Where do you fall on it?

That's my question. Sorry for confusion.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"To discuss on the forum or with her?

Manners about discussing her meet on the forum.

I don't intend to. I see others doing it though. That's why I'm asking.

Ah right. I think its pretty bad manners too.

Telling the odd unidentifiable story or experience that happened you can just about get away with I reckon but its a fine line.

I totally agree.

I'm glad to hear it

You know some do though surely?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Re-reading my initial Post, im wishing Fab had a delete button. Thankyou to anyone who offered good advice about bringing stuff up between me and her. I'm ok on that front, I hope. I'm more interested in her life before Fab if I'm honest, it mirrors my own in some way (more personal info to a keen eye, see it's easily done). I'm also prepared should things progress.

Well I'm not, I should be changing the sheets right now, just incase.. and I need to Hoover up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you know what you think don't ask others. They can't do your thinking for you.

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Re-reading my initial Post, im wishing Fab had a delete button. Thankyou to anyone who offered good advice about bringing stuff up between me and her. I'm ok on that front, I hope. I'm more interested in her life before Fab if I'm honest, it mirrors my own in some way (more personal info to a keen eye, see it's easily done). I'm also prepared should things progress.

Well I'm not, I should be changing the sheets right now, just incase.. and I need to Hoover up

"
Report it and ask it to be deleted.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well I'm not, I should be changing the sheets right now, just incase.. and I need to Hoover up

Report it and ask it to be deleted."

It was interesting. Leave it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To discuss on the forum or with her?

Manners about discussing her meet on the forum.

I don't intend to. I see others doing it though. That's why I'm asking.

If you don't intend to, and consider yourself a gentleman, why ask the question?

If everyone said "go for it, we want all the gory details" would you?

My thoughts exactly.

This post is odd

Clearly. SteelHeels was met with the same response when she asked a hypothetical earlier in the week. Just because we know what we'd do, there's no harm in asking someone else what they'd do.

I don't think I've helped with my wording as some answers don't seem to understand what I'm asking, yet others do. For that, I apologise."

Protecting someone's privacy is simple

You just dont broadcast your sex life to the world.

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By *ornylittlesubWoman over a year ago

Grangemouth

Just think "Fight Club".....The first rule about meets is...

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Well I'm not, I should be changing the sheets right now, just incase.. and I need to Hoover up

Report it and ask it to be deleted.

It was interesting. Leave it.

"
Behave you, or I'll have to put you in check!

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By *entleman JayMan over a year ago

Wakefield

Don’t fret about it just let it flow.

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By * Plus ECouple over a year ago

The South

"So, I've got a Meet tonight. I feel it's ok to mention it, given we've already met on a Group Social I arranged with the help of another friend.

Most people I know intimately don't even know about the Forum, let alone use it.

I know what I think, I'd just like to know what you think."

People are funny about verifications.

I've know blokes get all bent out of shape if the person they've met then meets someone else.

I'd suggest sorting stuff like that out well beforehand.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No manners here i fart in bed

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan over a year ago

Northampton

I'd publish my socials, but anything else is between me and that person

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So, I've got a Meet tonight. I feel it's ok to mention it, given we've already met on a Group Social I arranged with the help of another friend.

Most people I know intimately don't even know about the Forum, let alone use it.

I know what I think, I'd just like to know what you think."

With me it’s always a social first and no play so the rules are simple. I’d have hoped in your conversations together before tonight this would have been discussed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No manners here i fart in bed

Me too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just think "Fight Club".....The first rule about meets is...

.....PM Brad Pitt?....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it's an interesting question OP, even though I'm not entirely sure what the question is.

I ask questions about things to get other people's opinions. I phrase things a certain way to get more 'extreme' answers. Proper black and white, not just grey. I don't think there's any wrong answers. It depends on the people.

I'd hate for someone to start asking about sex before we'd had a social. I wouldn't meet them.

If they asked what I intended to happen on the social, I might be pissed off but it would depend on how they asked.

If it's a question about thread topics, I think there's no harm in asking for help/ advice/ opinions. Unless the other person definitely uses the forums- then that would be weird.

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By *electableDalliancesCouple over a year ago

leeds

If I read it right you're asking when is the appropriate time to discuss wants needs likes dislikes and absolute no-nos?

I think after a successful social the time between that and the first play meet is the best time to get into that.

I find that better than awkwardness in the bedroom after ive already got into my strap on harness

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By *an_LexaCouple over a year ago

Sunderland

Don’t worry bout it OP, I’m still confused.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If I read it right you're asking when is the appropriate time to discuss wants needs likes dislikes and absolute no-nos?

I think after a successful social the time between that and the first play meet is the best time to get into that.

I find that better than awkwardness in the bedroom after ive already got into my strap on harness

No, it was what is appropriate forum.manners about meeting people and posting about it.

I know my views, I just wanted to know others.

Only I ballsed up the post.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don’t worry bout it OP, I’m still confused. "

I'm omni-confused

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think it's an interesting question OP, even though I'm not entirely sure what the question is.

I'd hate for someone to start asking about sex before we'd had a social. I wouldn't meet them.

If they asked what I intended to happen on the social, I might be pissed off but it would depend on how they asked.

If it's a question about thread topics, I think there's no harm in asking for help/ advice/ opinions. Unless the other person definitely uses the forums- then that would be weird. "

It was written in the spirit you wrote some of yours. Hypothetical, to See the answers.

I'm asking about what is appropriate behaviour on the forum regarding people you meet in reality? Considering their privacy etc.

Sorry for confusing question.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So, I've got a Meet tonight. I feel it's ok to mention it, given we've already met on a Group Social I arranged with the help of another friend.

Most people I know intimately don't even know about the Forum, let alone use it.

I know what I think, I'd just like to know what you think."

Are you asking jist how much kf your meet you can discus publically on hete because she actually reads thw forums unlike your other meets?

Id say none of it, isn't that what discretion means

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By *r MoriartyMan over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

I would make her sign a contract before you buy her a drink, better to have it down in legally binding black and white so everyone knows where they stand

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Does anybody know what the question was yet ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why do you need to bring anything up? Couldn't you just go with the flow? I prefer spontenity, someone putting me on the spot like that, would put me off. If you try to go further and the stop You, you know that's your limit for the evening

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

Well, if it were me....

If you were telling folk i were the best thing since sliced bread i’d be ok.

Tell folk i were a shit shag and i’d hunt you down and blowdry your pubes on a very high heat setting.

I like discretion in a man. It’s gentlemanly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think it's an interesting question OP, even though I'm not entirely sure what the question is.

I'd hate for someone to start asking about sex before we'd had a social. I wouldn't meet them.

If they asked what I intended to happen on the social, I might be pissed off but it would depend on how they asked.

If it's a question about thread topics, I think there's no harm in asking for help/ advice/ opinions. Unless the other person definitely uses the forums- then that would be weird.

It was written in the spirit you wrote some of yours. Hypothetical, to See the answers.

I'm asking about what is appropriate behaviour on the forum regarding people you meet in reality? Considering their privacy etc.

Sorry for confusing question."

I'm confused all the time. It makes life interesting.

I think I did answer your question then. Privacy is an odd thing on here anyway, what with the explicit verifications. So I don't know why people get annoyed about privacy when asking questions, when they have verifications that describe their last 200 fucks on their profile.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think it's an interesting question OP, even though I'm not entirely sure what the question is.

I'd hate for someone to start asking about sex before we'd had a social. I wouldn't meet them.

If they asked what I intended to happen on the social, I might be pissed off but it would depend on how they asked.

If it's a question about thread topics, I think there's no harm in asking for help/ advice/ opinions. Unless the other person definitely uses the forums- then that would be weird.

It was written in the spirit you wrote some of yours. Hypothetical, to See the answers.

I'm asking about what is appropriate behaviour on the forum regarding people you meet in reality? Considering their privacy etc.

Sorry for confusing question.

I'm confused all the time. It makes life interesting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Well, if it were me....

If you were telling folk i were the best thing since sliced bread i’d be ok.

Tell folk i were a shit shag and i’d hunt you down and blowdry your pubes on a very high heat setting.

I like discretion in a man. It’s gentlemanly."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No manners here i fart in bed

Me too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think it's an interesting question OP, even though I'm not entirely sure what the question is.

I'd hate for someone to start asking about sex before we'd had a social. I wouldn't meet them.

If they asked what I intended to happen on the social, I might be pissed off but it would depend on how they asked.

If it's a question about thread topics, I think there's no harm in asking for help/ advice/ opinions. Unless the other person definitely uses the forums- then that would be weird.

It was written in the spirit you wrote some of yours. Hypothetical, to See the answers.

I'm asking about what is appropriate behaviour on the forum regarding people you meet in reality? Considering their privacy etc.

Sorry for confusing question.

I'm confused all the time. It makes life interesting.

Hahaha this is so true

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By *electableDalliancesCouple over a year ago

leeds

"If I read it right you're asking when is the appropriate time to discuss wants needs likes dislikes and absolute no-nos?

I think after a successful social the time between that and the first play meet is the best time to get into that.

I find that better than awkwardness in the bedroom after ive already got into my strap on harness

No, it was what is appropriate forum.manners about meeting people and posting about it.

I know my views, I just wanted to know others.

Only I ballsed up the post. "

Ahh I see , I think a lot of people value privacy and discretion so it's probably best avoided.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If I read it right you're asking when is the appropriate time to discuss wants needs likes dislikes and absolute no-nos?

I think after a successful social the time between that and the first play meet is the best time to get into that.

I find that better than awkwardness in the bedroom after ive already got into my strap on harness

No, it was what is appropriate forum.manners about meeting people and posting about it.

I know my views, I just wanted to know others.

Only I ballsed up the post.

Ahh I see , I think a lot of people value privacy and discretion so it's probably best avoided.

I think so too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If there was total privacy and discretion we'd never be able to ask any questions about anything.

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By *electableDalliancesCouple over a year ago

leeds

"If there was total privacy and discretion we'd never be able to ask any questions about anything.

If it's phrased as a general question and a meet isn't referenced I suppose that would be ok ?

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

My honest thoughts are I would hate it if someone did this to me, but I quite like when other people do it because I'm a nosey mare

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"So, I've got a Meet tonight. I feel it's ok to mention it, given we've already met on a Group Social I arranged with the help of another friend.

Most people I know intimately don't even know about the Forum, let alone use it.

I know what I think, I'd just like to know what you think."

So your main interest is a veri?

How sad!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So, I've got a Meet tonight. I feel it's ok to mention it, given we've already met on a Group Social I arranged with the help of another friend.

Most people I know intimately don't even know about the Forum, let alone use it.

I know what I think, I'd just like to know what you think.

So your main interest is a veri?

How sad! "

I read it more like he was looking for advice on how to broach the subject of how far they go tonight. The veri comment was that we would be able to figure out who he was speaking about, ecause she would hopefully veri him. I dont think that's his main interest .... I could be wrong though. The OP was a little confusing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So, I've got a Meet tonight. I feel it's ok to mention it, given we've already met on a Group Social I arranged with the help of another friend.

Most people I know intimately don't even know about the Forum, let alone use it.

I know what I think, I'd just like to know what you think.

So your main interest is a veri?

How sad!

I read it that way too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So, I've got a Meet tonight. I feel it's ok to mention it, given we've already met on a Group Social I arranged with the help of another friend.

Most people I know intimately don't even know about the Forum, let alone use it.

I know what I think, I'd just like to know what you think.

So your main interest is a veri?

How sad!

I was and I apologise profusely for the confusion.

Yes it would be "Sad" If that were my main interest, but Mystique has cleared it up quite nicely. It's more out of concern for the people we all meet.

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

OP what I think is this.

Don’t discuss and ask for advice on meets in the forum, the lady could see the thread. We don’t know the situation so how can we advise you?

It also comes over as showing off that you have a meet.

Yes I’m outspoken and I make no apologies for that.

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Go on op...you go first.....what do you think is good manners? I’ll let you know if I’m thinking the same.

This is what my kids do when they’re not sure what’s the right thing to answer is.

I'll remember that strategy for when I'm in doubt...which is often!

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