FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Can you have filth with the one you love?
Can you have filth with the one you love?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Been having a discussion with a past meet who is trying to ‘help’ me! His view is you can’t have extreme filth with the one you love and that the two should be separate entities. The one you love who has your heart and then the one who does all the filthy stuff.
I’m not talking about swinging couples here cos that’s a whole other level I have no experience with. I’m talking about seemingly monogamous relationships, which apparently can’t be monogamous as according to this guy you can’t have extreme filth with the one you love.
I was talking to my best friend who said he is kind of right because she has her boyfriend who she loves dearly and she said she’s up for anything but her boyfriend said he couldn’t do a certain thing with her and when she asked why he said it’s because I love you too much.
It’s just got me thinking, like I enjoy a guy squeezing my cheeks really hard and pissing in my mouth and over my face, this dude said you can’t expect a guy that loves you and respects you to do that to you but a guy who is only after nsa and only sees you as good for a fuck will happily piss in your face.
What’s everyone’s thoughts on this? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think the whole reason a lot of married men are on here without their wife knowing is because they simply can't imagine the wife they love being absolutely primaly sexual. Most of them can't even approach the subject of swinging let alone pissing in her face. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Of course you can have filth with the person you love  "
That’s what I thought but the more I think about it I can see truth on both sides of the argument.
Like I thought if you love someone that you can do anything with them but just look how many married and attached people are on here because they love their partners but they won’t do a certain thing or even if they would the guys wouldn’t want to do it with them.
Like there’s a kind of respect that you lose when you do degrading sexual acts with someone, that’s what I’ve been led to believe. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *omvampmMan
over a year ago
gillingham |
"I think the whole reason a lot of married men are on here without their wife knowing is because they simply can't imagine the wife they love being absolutely primaly sexual. Most of them can't even approach the subject of swinging let alone pissing in her face."
very true words x
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I can kinda see the logic in that things that can seem a bit taboo or degrading could be conflicting if you love someone then why would you want to do that to them?
On the other hand though part of a good relationship is knowing the other person and accepting and understanding what they like and what they get out of it. I guess it's a big part of compatibility and compromise.
I know that I myself would only be with someone I felt comfortable expressing myself sexually with, if he/she was too scared to experiment and get filthy with me then it's not gonna work, I want a relationship strong enough to know that no matter what we do physically we still have the same bond emotionally. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Of course you can have filth with the person you love
That’s what I thought but the more I think about it I can see truth on both sides of the argument.
Like I thought if you love someone that you can do anything with them but just look how many married and attached people are on here because they love their partners but they won’t do a certain thing or even if they would the guys wouldn’t want to do it with them.
Like there’s a kind of respect that you lose when you do degrading sexual acts with someone, that’s what I’ve been led to believe. "
Love and sex aren't the same thing. We have it drummed into us that it is so its hard to let go of the idea but if you can separate the two its easy to understand that you can be as depraved as you like with someone you love without it meaning you don't respect each other.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Like most things it's about discussion
Pink and I have yes and no lists and the things on there have been talked about. Anything not on a list is open for discussion and we decide together.
Without talking, you end up with frustration. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Well, we’ve only just arrived here but have been together 13 years or so. To he honest, the more we got (get) to know each other, the more our true selves were revealed. To put it another way, hell yes you can be truly filthy with the one you love  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
It is the old " I can fuck the woman that acts and fucks like a tart/ slag/ filthy bitch but won't ever marry her" syndrome and then they wonder why they end up looking for sex many years after as their partner doesn't give them what they crave which isn't their partners fault as they picked her for how she was.
For me, a perfect combination is a partner where you can be yourself and he is happy for you to be that way. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It is the old " I can fuck the woman that acts and fucks like a tart/ slag/ filthy bitch but won't ever marry her" syndrome and then they wonder why they end up looking for sex many years after as their partner doesn't give them what they crave which isn't their partners fault as they picked her for how she was.
For me, a perfect combination is a partner where you can be yourself and he is happy for you to be that way."
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *omvampmMan
over a year ago
gillingham |
I think you can be truely filthy with someone you love but the mistake many make is not communicating or a lesson I learnt in distent passed communicating that desire to late in a relationship
If the openness is there from the start as many above suggest it develops and you get to know more and more once the initial mentioning of taking things further than the norm and exploring things has been over come
Just my personal thoughts on matter anyway xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I would hate to see the state of your inbox when you talk about some of the the things you like doing op.
Bet you get every chancer in miles trying it.
And yes to answer you’re question. In my case it was about being comfortable and having the trust to do some fucked up awesome stuff. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I had a friend, very masculine and a military man that couldn't give his wife anal as he said you couldn't do that to the mother of his children. Nowt as funny as folk. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *omvampmMan
over a year ago
gillingham |
"I had a friend, very masculine and a military man that couldn't give his wife anal as he said you couldn't do that to the mother of his children. Nowt as funny as folk."
we all have our morals and beliefs I guess personally I don't see that as an issue but I'm not judging
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I had a friend, very masculine and a military man that couldn't give his wife anal as he said you couldn't do that to the mother of his children. Nowt as funny as folk."
Odd that the person I was having this discussion with is also a military man!
Said how are you supposed to hold hands in public or watch her kiss your children goodnight when you know she’s had her tongue up your arse and you’ve had your hand round her throat or pissed on her the night before. He said it just doesn’t work!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think the whole reason a lot of married men are on here without their wife knowing is because they simply can't imagine the wife they love being absolutely primaly sexual. Most of them can't even approach the subject of swinging let alone pissing in her face."
Which is something that puts me off married men.
I don't expect them to have feelings for me, but to look at me as something to be filthy with, because they can't bring themselves to do it to the wife is a total turn off.
It's the same with men who only give oral to women they love or are in a relationship with.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Of course you can have filth with the person you love
That’s what I thought but the more I think about it I can see truth on both sides of the argument.
Like I thought if you love someone that you can do anything with them but just look how many married and attached people are on here because they love their partners but they won’t do a certain thing or even if they would the guys wouldn’t want to do it with them.
Like there’s a kind of respect that you lose when you do degrading sexual acts with someone, that’s what I’ve been led to believe.
Love and sex aren't the same thing. We have it drummed into us that it is so its hard to let go of the idea but if you can separate the two its easy to understand that you can be as depraved as you like with someone you love without it meaning you don't respect each other.
"
This is critical in my opinion. While entwined it’s more difficult to liberate yourselves. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had a friend, very masculine and a military man that couldn't give his wife anal as he said you couldn't do that to the mother of his children. Nowt as funny as folk.
Odd that the person I was having this discussion with is also a military man!
Said how are you supposed to hold hands in public or watch her kiss your children goodnight when you know she’s had her tongue up your arse and you’ve had your hand round her throat or pissed on her the night before. He said it just doesn’t work!
"
It's the Madonna/whore complex.
They want to look at the woman they chose to be the mother of theur children as virginal and full of goodness, so they look for whores to fulfil their seedy desires. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think the whole reason a lot of married men are on here without their wife knowing is because they simply can't imagine the wife they love being absolutely primaly sexual. Most of them can't even approach the subject of swinging let alone pissing in her face.
Which is something that puts me off married men.
I don't expect them to have feelings for me, but to look at me as something to be filthy with, because they can't bring themselves to do it to the wife is a total turn off.
It's the same with men who only give oral to women they love or are in a relationship with.
"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Of course you can have filth with the person you love
That’s what I thought but the more I think about it I can see truth on both sides of the argument.
Like I thought if you love someone that you can do anything with them but just look how many married and attached people are on here because they love their partners but they won’t do a certain thing or even if they would the guys wouldn’t want to do it with them.
Like there’s a kind of respect that you lose when you do degrading sexual acts with someone, that’s what I’ve been led to believe.
Love and sex aren't the same thing. We have it drummed into us that it is so its hard to let go of the idea but if you can separate the two its easy to understand that you can be as depraved as you like with someone you love without it meaning you don't respect each other.
This is critical in my opinion. While entwined it’s more difficult to liberate yourselves."
It is. It's very difficult to be vulnerable with anyone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Forgot what I even wrote now.
Anyway I think there’s some truth to it. Like a guy may love his partner with all his heart but couldn’t bring himself to do any sexually depraved acts with her. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Forgot what I even wrote now.
Anyway I think there’s some truth to it. Like a guy may love his partner with all his heart but couldn’t bring himself to do any sexually depraved acts with her. "
Yep and to prove his love he does the depraved acts without her knowledge with other women.
Disclaimer I know not all men are like this and that some women are the same |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Of course you can have filth with the person you love
That’s what I thought but the more I think about it I can see truth on both sides of the argument.
Like I thought if you love someone that you can do anything with them but just look how many married and attached people are on here because they love their partners but they won’t do a certain thing or even if they would the guys wouldn’t want to do it with them.
Like there’s a kind of respect that you lose when you do degrading sexual acts with someone, that’s what I’ve been led to believe.
Love and sex aren't the same thing. We have it drummed into us that it is so its hard to let go of the idea but if you can separate the two its easy to understand that you can be as depraved as you like with someone you love without it meaning you don't respect each other.
This is critical in my opinion. While entwined it’s more difficult to liberate yourselves.
It is. It's very difficult to be vulnerable with anyone."
But immensely powerful when you are. I knew this but until recently hadn’t realised how far I was willing to make myself vulnerable- it was a revelation  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Funny we kind of had that conversation last night after playing around. We’re experimental and try lots of different things but something wasn’t quite right and we discussed it.
Could have been timing, mood or just one of those things. If you can’t be open with your other half it’s such a shame.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Honestly don't see the issue with it. Can totally be in love with somebod and still be filthy.
What if he/she likes it, and is the one wanting you to do those things. You are then denying somebody you love, a pleasure of theirs. So long as it is legal, and not too extreme, that you would not enjoy doing it at all.
It is just a mental block of what is right/wrong when the answer is neither. Sex and love are very intertwined but also they are 2 very different things. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Been having a discussion with a past meet who is trying to ‘help’ me! His view is you can’t have extreme filth with the one you love and that the two should be separate entities. The one you love who has your heart and then the one who does all the filthy stuff.
I’m not talking about swinging couples here cos that’s a whole other level I have no experience with. I’m talking about seemingly monogamous relationships, which apparently can’t be monogamous as according to this guy you can’t have extreme filth with the one you love.
I was talking to my best friend who said he is kind of right because she has her boyfriend who she loves dearly and she said she’s up for anything but her boyfriend said he couldn’t do a certain thing with her and when she asked why he said it’s because I love you too much.
It’s just got me thinking, like I enjoy a guy squeezing my cheeks really hard and pissing in my mouth and over my face, this dude said you can’t expect a guy that loves you and respects you to do that to you but a guy who is only after nsa and only sees you as good for a fuck will happily piss in your face.
What’s everyone’s thoughts on this?"
Myself and P are proof that you can have that! We're often filthy as hell with each other, including the delightful act you enjoy rather a lot... But also powerplay (as P is quite the Brat much to my delight) can involve spitting, teeth, claws, manhandling and whispering and growling the most obscene degrading filth into each others ears... 
Yet we love each other dearly and are constantly showing each other this in real life, and our sex also involves a great deal of tenderness?
I can see your logic (or your friend's) holding a lot of water with many couples, however we're just very compatible sexually and are always open about all that?
B |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We discussed this.
Looked at the replies.
Our thoughts are similar to others.
We are very much in love. We are also filthy with each other and others. We talk. We understand what we like and because we love each other deeply trust each other’s desires and needs.
We do feel it’s about communication.
If that works, which it does if you are honest, then filthy is part of your everyday fun. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's called the "Madonna/Whore" complex.
In extreme circumstances it can lead to men becoming criminals because they have urges that they cannot fulfil with vanilla girlfriends/wives, so they get it elsewhere, sometimes by force.
The guy will put his "beloved" on a pristine white pedestal,(Madonna, in this case not the pop star but the revered saintly image), he may worship her almost.
He will be unable to contemplate doing with her what he desires, so he will seek out the "whore", who will let him do the things he wants, anal, BDSM, watersports etc. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We discussed this.
Looked at the replies.
Our thoughts are similar to others.
We are very much in love. We are also filthy with each other and others. We talk. We understand what we like and because we love each other deeply trust each other’s desires and needs.
We do feel it’s about communication.
If that works, which it does if you are honest, then filthy is part of your everyday fun. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it depends how open u are at the begining about yourself
Iv a tendency to hide what i like out of embarrasment when i was young wich is why i had to repress what i wanted |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it depends how open u are at the begining about yourself
Iv a tendency to hide what i like out of embarrasment when i was young wich is why i had to repress what i wanted"
I don’t think it has to be at the beginning but it does make it a lot less difficult if it is. However sometimes you’re not aware of it at the beginning. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Been having a discussion with a past meet who is trying to ‘help’ me! His view is you can’t have extreme filth with the one you love and that the two should be separate entities. The one you love who has your heart and then the one who does all the filthy stuff.
I’m not talking about swinging couples here cos that’s a whole other level I have no experience with. I’m talking about seemingly monogamous relationships, which apparently can’t be monogamous as according to this guy you can’t have extreme filth with the one you love.
I was talking to my best friend who said he is kind of right because she has her boyfriend who she loves dearly and she said she’s up for anything but her boyfriend said he couldn’t do a certain thing with her and when she asked why he said it’s because I love you too much.
It’s just got me thinking, like I enjoy a guy squeezing my cheeks really hard and pissing in my mouth and over my face, this dude said you can’t expect a guy that loves you and respects you to do that to you but a guy who is only after nsa and only sees you as good for a fuck will happily piss in your face.
What’s everyone’s thoughts on this?"
Again I think it's "each to their own"
But
We're very passionate, we make love, we are also very rampant so fuck each other, Filth is second nature to us, so I would say most definitely, yes it is possible.
Jo.Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think the whole reason a lot of married men are on here without their wife knowing is because they simply can't imagine the wife they love being absolutely primaly sexual. Most of them can't even approach the subject of swinging let alone pissing in her face. very true words x"
I wouldn't let a fab meet piss in my face either |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Like most things it's about discussion
Pink and I have yes and no lists and the things on there have been talked about. Anything not on a list is open for discussion and we decide together.
Without talking, you end up with frustration. "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's called the "Madonna/Whore" complex.
In extreme circumstances it can lead to men becoming criminals because they have urges that they cannot fulfil with vanilla girlfriends/wives, so they get it elsewhere, sometimes by force.
The guy will put his "beloved" on a pristine white pedestal,(Madonna, in this case not the pop star but the revered saintly image), he may worship her almost.
He will be unable to contemplate doing with her what he desires, so he will seek out the "whore", who will let him do the things he wants, anal, BDSM, watersports etc."
I agree it can be this.
He probably sees women who are 'dirty' as not worthy of love either, which is scary coz he has dehumanised someone for sex. Plenty of men hate the women they are trying to fuck, you see it on the forums quite a bit.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I can’t disagree any more sorry OP
I am at my filthiest with Mr P. He has my heart and soul in his hands... and actively encourages my filth... he is the filthiest animal I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.
He never judges and for that I know I am safe....
No one else will ever get to see the true me like he does |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"I think it depends how open u are at the begining about yourself
Iv a tendency to hide what i like out of embarrasment when i was young wich is why i had to repress what i wanted
I don’t think it has to be at the beginning but it does make it a lot less difficult if it is. However sometimes you’re not aware of it at the beginning."
Totally. People change over time, they might not want things to be how they were in the beginning of a relationship after x amount of years together.
Hooves, I think your friend has a point. I asked my other half to do something once and he couldn't/wouldn't because he said he didn't want to hurt me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can’t disagree any more sorry OP
I am at my filthiest with Mr P. He has my heart and soul in his hands... and actively encourages my filth... he is the filthiest animal I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.
He never judges and for that I know I am safe....
No one else will ever get to see the true me like he does "
100%
Exactly the same.
Jo.Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can kinda see the logic in that things that can seem a bit taboo or degrading could be conflicting if you love someone then why would you want to do that to them?
On the other hand though part of a good relationship is knowing the other person and accepting and understanding what they like and what they get out of it. I guess it's a big part of compatibility and compromise.
I know that I myself would only be with someone I felt comfortable expressing myself sexually with, if he/she was too scared to experiment and get filthy with me then it's not gonna work, I want a relationship strong enough to know that no matter what we do physically we still have the same bond emotionally. "
The reason my ltr have broken down is because I got bored sexually...much as I loved them I needed the variety, hence I am a true swinger...i just need to find the one guy that understands that and will love me regardless, indeed even get turned on by it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had a friend, very masculine and a military man that couldn't give his wife anal as he said you couldn't do that to the mother of his children. Nowt as funny as folk.
Odd that the person I was having this discussion with is also a military man!
Said how are you supposed to hold hands in public or watch her kiss your children goodnight when you know she’s had her tongue up your arse and you’ve had your hand round her throat or pissed on her the night before. He said it just doesn’t work!
"
Some people just have this narrow minded-ness  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I want to be the one that guys love and think I’m pure and hold dear. I’d just drink lemonade and pretend it’s wine and that I just get a bit freaky when I’m pissed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's called the "Madonna/Whore" complex.
In extreme circumstances it can lead to men becoming criminals because they have urges that they cannot fulfil with vanilla girlfriends/wives, so they get it elsewhere, sometimes by force.
The guy will put his "beloved" on a pristine white pedestal,(Madonna, in this case not the pop star but the revered saintly image), he may worship her almost.
He will be unable to contemplate doing with her what he desires, so he will seek out the "whore", who will let him do the things he wants, anal, BDSM, watersports etc."
And the bottom line is that men with this warped perception of women actually have no respect for either kind.
They don't respect their wives as sexual beings and they don't respect sexual women as anything more than a commodity for them to use.
Avoid.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I want to be the one that guys love and think I’m pure and hold dear. I’d just drink lemonade and pretend it’s wine and that I just get a bit freaky when I’m pissed. "
I am such a good girl in real life... friends do pick up on a little of my mischievous side
But those who truly know me know I’m a kinky fucker!
Mrs P |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think the whole reason a lot of married men are on here without their wife knowing is because they simply can't imagine the wife they love being absolutely primaly sexual. Most of them can't even approach the subject of swinging let alone pissing in her face."
Pass me the hammer i think youve nailed it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There is a big difference between a sexual act being filthy or it being depraved. Depraved means you are harming or degrading the person by the act. It can only be done with love if you are both aware than you are temporarily stepping outside your normal loving dynamic and will return back to it afterwards. A lot of people do not have that option so look for someone they do not have feelings for to allow them to indulge. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There is a big difference between a sexual act being filthy or it being depraved. Depraved means you are harming or degrading the person by the act. It can only be done with love if you are both aware than you are temporarily stepping outside your normal loving dynamic and will return back to it afterwards. A lot of people do not have that option so look for someone they do not have feelings for to allow them to indulge."
Pissing on, spitting, slapping could be classed as degrading but is it still degrading if the person wants you to do it? These are things I enjoy but apparently a man that truly loves me won’t want to do those things to me and will only do them if I’m a one off fuck. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Been having a discussion with a past meet who is trying to ‘help’ me! His view is you can’t have extreme filth with the one you love and that the two should be separate entities. The one you love who has your heart and then the one who does all the filthy stuff.
I’m not talking about swinging couples here cos that’s a whole other level I have no experience with. I’m talking about seemingly monogamous relationships, which apparently can’t be monogamous as according to this guy you can’t have extreme filth with the one you love.
I was talking to my best friend who said he is kind of right because she has her boyfriend who she loves dearly and she said she’s up for anything but her boyfriend said he couldn’t do a certain thing with her and when she asked why he said it’s because I love you too much.
It’s just got me thinking, like I enjoy a guy squeezing my cheeks really hard and pissing in my mouth and over my face, this dude said you can’t expect a guy that loves you and respects you to do that to you but a guy who is only after nsa and only sees you as good for a fuck will happily piss in your face.
What’s everyone’s thoughts on this?"
My thoughts are that this bloke hasn’t got a clue and is unlikely to ever be really happy .
We do more depraved filth together than most , and I’ve never once felt that she shouldn’t be doing this because I love her and she’s my wife . Far from it ! There’s some stuff that I prefer not to do , but I love seeing her do it with those who do like it . The filthier the better ! I love her way more because there’s nothing off limits . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Been having a discussion with a past meet who is trying to ‘help’ me! His view is you can’t have extreme filth with the one you love and that the two should be separate entities. The one you love who has your heart and then the one who does all the filthy stuff.
I’m not talking about swinging couples here cos that’s a whole other level I have no experience with. I’m talking about seemingly monogamous relationships, which apparently can’t be monogamous as according to this guy you can’t have extreme filth with the one you love.
I was talking to my best friend who said he is kind of right because she has her boyfriend who she loves dearly and she said she’s up for anything but her boyfriend said he couldn’t do a certain thing with her and when she asked why he said it’s because I love you too much.
It’s just got me thinking, like I enjoy a guy squeezing my cheeks really hard and pissing in my mouth and over my face, this dude said you can’t expect a guy that loves you and respects you to do that to you but a guy who is only after nsa and only sees you as good for a fuck will happily piss in your face.
What’s everyone’s thoughts on this?
My thoughts are that this bloke hasn’t got a clue and is unlikely to ever be really happy .
We do more depraved filth together than most , and I’ve never once felt that she shouldn’t be doing this because I love her and she’s my wife . Far from it ! There’s some stuff that I prefer not to do , but I love seeing her do it with those who do like it . The filthier the better ! I love her way more because there’s nothing off limits . "
That’s how I thought it should be and would be with the one I loved. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Is that possibly more with the long term type relationships where you have been together forever and have had the kids, that are possibly still young and that changes how you look at each other?
New relationships can start from a place of filth and the love develops around that? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Reading this and wondering just what others consider filth. Love is about sharing everything, surely that includes all the varieties of sex that both people wish to share together...
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There is a big difference between a sexual act being filthy or it being depraved. Depraved means you are harming or degrading the person by the act. It can only be done with love if you are both aware than you are temporarily stepping outside your normal loving dynamic and will return back to it afterwards. A lot of people do not have that option so look for someone they do not have feelings for to allow them to indulge.
Pissing on, spitting, slapping could be classed as degrading but is it still degrading if the person wants you to do it? These are things I enjoy but apparently a man that truly loves me won’t want to do those things to me and will only do them if I’m a one off fuck. "
Don't you just need to find a partner who enjoys sadomasochism within a relationship? Being in love with someone doesn't preclude practising it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"There is a big difference between a sexual act being filthy or it being depraved. Depraved means you are harming or degrading the person by the act. It can only be done with love if you are both aware than you are temporarily stepping outside your normal loving dynamic and will return back to it afterwards. A lot of people do not have that option so look for someone they do not have feelings for to allow them to indulge.
Pissing on, spitting, slapping could be classed as degrading but is it still degrading if the person wants you to do it? These are things I enjoy but apparently a man that truly loves me won’t want to do those things to me and will only do them if I’m a one off fuck. "
Only 1 woman I might of loved and i wouldn't of even dreamed of doing that kind of thing to her.
Maybe it just depends on the guy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There is a big difference between a sexual act being filthy or it being depraved. Depraved means you are harming or degrading the person by the act. It can only be done with love if you are both aware than you are temporarily stepping outside your normal loving dynamic and will return back to it afterwards. A lot of people do not have that option so look for someone they do not have feelings for to allow them to indulge.
Pissing on, spitting, slapping could be classed as degrading but is it still degrading if the person wants you to do it? These are things I enjoy but apparently a man that truly loves me won’t want to do those things to me and will only do them if I’m a one off fuck. "
No, you just need to find someone who's on the same page as you IMO. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can’t disagree any more sorry OP
I am at my filthiest with Mr P. He has my heart and soul in his hands... and actively encourages my filth... he is the filthiest animal I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.
He never judges and for that I know I am safe....
No one else will ever get to see the true me like he does "
This!! I don’t trust anyone else, to do a fraction of what we do, I trust Mr completely, and he knows me like no one else does xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Fuzz is the only person I could try anything and everything with! I trust him implicitly and know that he understands my needs to be able to fulfil them without me feeling degraded or used! I feel the same amount of love for him whether he's beating my arse blue, pinning me down by the throat whilst fisting me or making sweet love with lots of kisses!
Peach x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hell yeah, but I still won't suck her toes!"
I absolutely love sucking toes while I’m fucking, and during foreplay.
I think the only thing that would stop me doing it would be having a cock to suck at the same time instead  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think the whole reason a lot of married men are on here without their wife knowing is because they simply can't imagine the wife they love being absolutely primaly sexual. Most of them can't even approach the subject of swinging let alone pissing in her face."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Surely love, trust, mutual respect and honesty will lead to a relationship where both can share fantasies, communicate about sexual needs, and be utterly filthy.
Perfect combination. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Been together since we were very young we both have very similar likes and dislikes I (mr) have very dirty mind and she very rarely says no to the things I ask her to try. We have been very dirty with each other over the years only thing neither of us won’t do and it mutually agreed is pain. I believe you can be filthy with someone you love I have |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There is a big difference between a sexual act being filthy or it being depraved. Depraved means you are harming or degrading the person by the act. It can only be done with love if you are both aware than you are temporarily stepping outside your normal loving dynamic and will return back to it afterwards. A lot of people do not have that option so look for someone they do not have feelings for to allow them to indulge.
Pissing on, spitting, slapping could be classed as degrading but is it still degrading if the person wants you to do it? These are things I enjoy but apparently a man that truly loves me won’t want to do those things to me and will only do them if I’m a one off fuck.
Only 1 woman I might of loved and i wouldn't of even dreamed of doing that kind of thing to her.
Maybe it just depends on the guy."
Like my friend and her boyfriend then when he said he wasn’t doing something because he loves her too much! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"There is a big difference between a sexual act being filthy or it being depraved. Depraved means you are harming or degrading the person by the act. It can only be done with love if you are both aware than you are temporarily stepping outside your normal loving dynamic and will return back to it afterwards. A lot of people do not have that option so look for someone they do not have feelings for to allow them to indulge.
Pissing on, spitting, slapping could be classed as degrading but is it still degrading if the person wants you to do it? These are things I enjoy but apparently a man that truly loves me won’t want to do those things to me and will only do them if I’m a one off fuck.
Only 1 woman I might of loved and i wouldn't of even dreamed of doing that kind of thing to her.
Maybe it just depends on the guy.
Like my friend and her boyfriend then when he said he wasn’t doing something because he loves her too much!"
I wouldn't do it to any woman, it's just not my style. Each to their own though I guess. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
What’s everyone’s thoughts on this?"
Mine is that it’s an interesting thought....and I have lots and lots of filthy thoughts.  would I do things like that with my wife? Probably not. Mindset i suppose. I dunno why, but having thought about it, no. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm always saying to Mr N that I'm not doing something until we've done it together when we discuss a new scenario. Its a blurred line though because I was quite happy to see a lady deep throat him even though we've never done that together but that's because I simply can't . He was quite happy to watch me flog another guy but he'd never want me to do that to him.
I suppose in a sense though we are experiencing those things together. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
With respect swinging couples are a completely different ball game, swinging couples are happy to see their partners being fucked by other people so they’re obviously going to have a different view point. Seeing your partner being fucked by another person is not the norm.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"With respect swinging couples are a completely different ball game, swinging couples are happy to see their partners being fucked by other people so they’re obviously going to have a different view point. Seeing your partner being fucked by another person is not the norm.
"
I can understand why you say that, but I think it's about being open and honest with a partner whether your a swinger or not.
Communication is what makes any relationship work, on every level.
Wanting to give and receive pleasure in whatever way makes them happy as long as it's something your comfortable with is a very loving thing to do.
And seeing a partner getting pleasure in turn makes it pleasurable for the giver, even if it's not their particular kink, if you know what I mean.
Think I rambled a bit |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"With respect swinging couples are a completely different ball game, swinging couples are happy to see their partners being fucked by other people so they’re obviously going to have a different view point. Seeing your partner being fucked by another person is not the norm.
"
Prior to joining Fab, although I didn’t watch him fuck anyone, I was in a relationship that certainly wasn’t vanilla- dom/sub with cd involvement (I wasn’t a sub back then) From a very vanilla marriage to a two and half year relationship to joining Fab, I’ve seen all aspects of the sex spectrum. I can honestly say that the swinging one is the best I’ve had.
My relationship with my ex would be filthy to some and love was involved, so I truly believe that you can have both.
Luckily I have an amazing and filthy one now, haha- thank you the Gods of Fab xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *greygorCouple
over a year ago
birmingham |
well this is a swingers site so guessing every one that ans is out side the expected normal box .why would any vanilla couples or singles be on here .that said cos you can have filth with the one you love and respect .fantastic .but we have plenty time away from fabbing as well . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm always saying to Mr N that I'm not doing something until we've done it together when we discuss a new scenario. Its a blurred line though because I was quite happy to see a lady deep throat him even though we've never done that together but that's because I simply can't . He was quite happy to watch me flog another guy but he'd never want me to do that to him.
I suppose in a sense though we are experiencing those things together. "
Same kind of thing with us .
There are things I don’t particularly enjoy doing , but others seem to love it , including my wife . So I’m more than happy to let her indulge in those things with like minded people .
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
