FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Lying. Is it acceptable?
Lying. Is it acceptable?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So, we all know it's bad to lie to people. That's old news. But, as life goes on there are times when we all have pulled a porky. However we justify it to ourselves it is a lie.
Everyone of you including myself have told a white lie, distorted the truth or otherwise embellished a tale.
So the question at hand; is lying acceptable in certain circumstances? If so, how and why?
Tell us all of your small or even tall tales (No judgement!) And you could win a prize! (Prize not included)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Still waiting on, Mr White, Brown, Pink and Blue aren't we. 
There's Mr Pink and Mr White on here.
Just Brown and Blue missing. Really, I know we used to have white."
It's not all about colour!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never though I can lie by commission, I like that one!
As, I think it was, nicecouple said earlier if your friend asked on her wedding day how she looked, regardless of how she looked, you'd say she looked perfect! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Never though I can lie by commission, I like that one!
As, I think it was, nicecouple said earlier if your friend asked on her wedding day how she looked, regardless of how she looked, you'd say she looked perfect! "
Of course! Anyone would for their friends, that's why I find it's interesting how we blur the lines of what is and what isn't acceptable depending on the situation; I think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, you do have the nicest penis in the world.
That's what I came here to hear; mission accomplished.
See how easy it is
And it's also very hard "
So it is  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Still waiting on, Mr White, Brown, Pink and Blue aren't we.
There's Mr Pink and Mr White on here.
Just Brown and Blue missing. Really, I know we used to have white."
If you do a search you'll find a few Mr White, Blue and Brown. |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"Still waiting on, Mr White, Brown, Pink and Blue aren't we.
There's Mr Pink and Mr White on here.
Just Brown and Blue missing. Really, I know we used to have white.
If you do a search you'll find a few Mr White, Blue and Brown. "
Message them and get them on the forums. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Still waiting on, Mr White, Brown, Pink and Blue aren't we.
There's Mr Pink and Mr White on here.
Just Brown and Blue missing. Really, I know we used to have white.
If you do a search you'll find a few Mr White, Blue and Brown. Message them and get them on the forums."
Fab users, unite! |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"We are trained to lie from birth, tooth fairy, Santa, etc. It's part of life."
I never told my children the tooth fairy. Easter bunny and santa we're real.
I couldn't bring myself to lie to innocents.
They knew from an early age I wouldn't lie to them nor should they lie to me as it causes more problems.
I withhold information rather than lie , unless asked a direct question. |
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"So, we all know it's bad to lie to people. That's old news. But, as life goes on there are times when we all have pulled a porky. However we justify it to ourselves it is a lie.
Everyone of you including myself have told a white lie, distorted the truth or otherwise embellished a tale.
So the question at hand; is lying acceptable in certain circumstances? If so, how and why?
Tell us all of your small or even tall tales (No judgement!) And you could win a prize! (Prize not included)
"
Sometimes we lie to protect others from the truth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If its" does my bum look big in this then we all lie.
Its not just the answer it's the pause before the answer that is judged... "
It's why it's so easy to lie online as 80% of communiction is body language and you have to be a really good liar to be able to pull it off face to face then remember it without the lie being written down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If its" does my bum look big in this then we all lie.
Its not just the answer it's the pause before the answer that is judged... .. That's true."
I used to get caught out by saying her new hair cut looked great. Only problem was she hadnt had it cut yet. |
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By *upremexMan
over a year ago
liverpool. huyton. near yewtree |
"If its" does my bum look big in this then we all lie.
Its not just the answer it's the pause before the answer that is judged... .. That's true.
I used to get caught out by saying her new hair cut looked great. Only problem was she hadnt had it cut yet."
.... So funny. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If its" does my bum look big in this then we all lie.
Its not just the answer it's the pause before the answer that is judged... .. That's true.
I used to get caught out by saying her new hair cut looked great. Only problem was she hadnt had it cut yet."
That's right answer, but bad timing... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If its" does my bum look big in this then we all lie.
Its not just the answer it's the pause before the answer that is judged... .. That's true.
I used to get caught out by saying her new hair cut looked great. Only problem was she hadnt had it cut yet.
That's right answer, but bad timing... "
The problem was I kept forgetting when she was getting it done so I thought if I said it randomly? Then of course when she had had it done...did I remember? Did I heck... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If its" does my bum look big in this then we all lie.
Its not just the answer it's the pause before the answer that is judged... .. That's true.
I used to get caught out by saying her new hair cut looked great. Only problem was she hadnt had it cut yet.
That's right answer, but bad timing...
The problem was I kept forgetting when she was getting it done so I thought if I said it randomly? Then of course when she had had it done...did I remember? Did I heck..."
At least your new hair cut looks good mate |
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Everyone lies, including to themselves. You have to assume that it's a given in life. Where the line is to be drawn on what's acceptable, we each decide for ourselves but must accept the consequences. I was often the person who told the truth at school and admitted breaking rules and paid the price but was happy - it helped to build confidence. I lie occasionally for an easier life but prefer not to. The important component is the relationship that you have with others and trust - preferring to have greater intimacy and honesty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn’t like to tell the truth if It hurt someone’s feelings I.e you thought they weren’t very good looking or sexy ect, so surely it’s acceptable at that time to lie and say they were beautiful? Xx |
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I think there are degrees of lies. I don't lie to my oh. I don't need to. But a previous partner who was jealous, possessive and abusive I did end up lying to for self protection.
It was easier to say I hadn't spoken to anyone rather than face his interrogation and interpretation.
But now there is no need. |
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"If its" does my bum look big in this then we all lie. "
Nope sorry love a big bum so I always tell the truth on that one. Usually followed by me cuddling her arse from behind and giving her a kiss on one of the bum cheeks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If its" does my bum look big in this then we all lie.
Nope sorry love a big bum so I always tell the truth on that one. Usually followed by me cuddling her arse from behind and giving her a kiss on one of the bum cheeks "
 |
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I think it's more of what type of lies that are told that makes the difference and who to. Lies in a relationship big or small destroy the trust imo. Sometimes the truth hurts but really needs to be said. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Everyone lies, including to themselves. You have to assume that it's a given in life. Where the line is to be drawn on what's acceptable, we each decide for ourselves but must accept the consequences. I was often the person who told the truth at school and admitted breaking rules and paid the price but was happy - it helped to build confidence. I lie occasionally for an easier life but prefer not to. The important component is the relationship that you have with others and trust - preferring to have greater intimacy and honesty. "
That's a very succinct and thoughtful answer, I agree there are times when we each deem it necessary accordingly with our own morals. As far as a moral compass goes, to some extent we all have one yet it is only relevant when we decide it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Please give the award to the young man I met a few days ago. All his pics were fake and he literally wouldn't know the truth if it smacked him in the face.
I guess we all tell a few little porkies, but I despise liars, hypocrites and people who take advantage of the good folk. |
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I think lying is always wrong. I prefer to live a life where I never lie, and managed that for 20 odd years, during the whole of my marriage. It is possible - it's just more challenging.
If l do choose to lie now, for instance to not upset my family with the fact I sometimes have sex with random men, then I accept I am doing a wrong thing which I would really rather not. I think it's important to recognise that - if you excuse one lie, you can excuse them all, and truth becomes devalued. |
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Anyone who says they don't lie is lying ... however
There are the innocent white lies "yes that dress looks lovely" and there's out and out deception
Where the crossover from ok to wrong is ... well ... that's s philosophical thesis in the making |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Anyone with a computer apparently lies. Radio 4 documentery says new computers installation asks "Have you read the terms & conditions" tick box- everyone ti ks yes,yet t&c's in legalise.apparently you agree in t&c's that you've allowed companies to listen in .Glad Ive never had a computer ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone with a computer apparently lies. Radio 4 documentery says new computers installation asks "Have you read the terms & conditions" tick box- everyone ti ks yes,yet t&c's in legalise.apparently you agree in t&c's that you've allowed companies to listen in .Glad Ive never had a computer !"
Ummm, so how did you make this post? |
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"Anyone with a computer apparently lies. Radio 4 documentery says new computers installation asks "Have you read the terms & conditions" tick box- everyone ti ks yes,yet t&c's in legalise.apparently you agree in t&c's that you've allowed companies to listen in .Glad Ive never had a computer !
Ummm, so how did you make this post? "
Phone??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hate lies. It's even worse when you know someone is lying to you and you're pretending everything is fine. Or when you find out some time later something was actually a lie. The worst feeling ever. I prefer to be honest when I can.
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone with a computer apparently lies. Radio 4 documentery says new computers installation asks "Have you read the terms & conditions" tick box- everyone ti ks yes,yet t&c's in legalise.apparently you agree in t&c's that you've allowed companies to listen in .Glad Ive never had a computer !
Ummm, so how did you make this post? "
my phone(second hand) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone with a computer apparently lies. Radio 4 documentery says new computers installation asks "Have you read the terms & conditions" tick box- everyone ti ks yes,yet t&c's in legalise.apparently you agree in t&c's that you've allowed companies to listen in .Glad Ive never had a computer !
Ummm, so how did you make this post?
Phone?? "
yes frisky mare ..go to the top of the class & collect a Gold star .Ive never yet been on a computer ( or in a Mc.Donalds !!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone with a computer apparently lies. Radio 4 documentery says new computers installation asks "Have you read the terms & conditions" tick box- everyone ti ks yes,yet t&c's in legalise.apparently you agree in t&c's that you've allowed companies to listen in .Glad Ive never had a computer !
Ummm, so how did you make this post?
Phone?? yes frisky mare ..go to the top of the class & collect a Gold star .Ive never yet been on a computer ( or in a Mc.Donalds !!)"
But a phone that can connect to the internet has a processor, memory, and graphics. it IS a computer, and therefore subject to all the same agreements as any other computer.
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"We are trained to lie from birth, tooth fairy, Santa, etc. It's part of life.
I never told my children the tooth fairy. Easter bunny and santa we're real.
I couldn't bring myself to lie to innocents.
They knew from an early age I wouldn't lie to them nor should they lie to me as it causes more problems.
I withhold information rather than lie , unless asked a direct question. "
Commonly known as 'lying by omission' ...... obscuring the truth tsk tsk ... |
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The O.P. says " We all know it's bad to lie to people," That's pure assumption.
I don't think it's morally wrong to lie. Not in all circumstances.
I'm more interested in where ideas about morality are formed and how some come to think of them as absolutes.
Now ...... We ALL know it's WRONG to swing...... right ? |
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"The O.P. says " We all know it's bad to lie to people," That's pure assumption.
I don't think it's morally wrong to lie. Not in all circumstances.
I'm more interested in where ideas about morality are formed and how some come to think of them as absolutes.
Now ...... We ALL know it's WRONG to swing...... right ?"
Absolutely .
If it wasn’t wrong , what would be the point ?
If everyone did it there would be no fabswingers , no forum , nothing .
We are programmed to want to do what we know we really shouldn’t be doing . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone with a computer apparently lies. Radio 4 documentery says new computers installation asks "Have you read the terms & conditions" tick box- everyone ti ks yes,yet t&c's in legalise.apparently you agree in t&c's that you've allowed companies to listen in .Glad Ive never had a computer !
Ummm, so how did you make this post?
Phone?? yes frisky mare ..go to the top of the class & collect a Gold star .Ive never yet been on a computer ( or in a Mc.Donalds !!)
But a phone that can connect to the internet has a processor, memory, and graphics. it IS a computer, and therefore subject to all the same agreements as any other computer.
"
You dont sign t&c's with a second hand phone ,which I mentioned,& what my post was referring to: not wether a phone is a computer.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You dont sign t&c's with a second hand phone ,which I mentioned,& what my post was referring to: not wether a phone is a computer. "
That's the whole point, you do agree to t&c's to use the internet, to use search engines, to join fabswingers. New or second hand makes no difference, they are the same ones whatever device you use, except portable devices also tell the internet where you are when used.
So unless you have pinched someone's phone, with their accounts including the one you are posting from, you have agreed to the terms and conditions that you think you have avoided.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have, on occasion, asked a coworker to interrupt a session with a patient at a specific time saying I've got an urgent phone call if I know they talk for too long  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You dont sign t&c's with a second hand phone ,which I mentioned,& what my post was referring to: not wether a phone is a computer.
That's the whole point, you do agree to t&c's to use the internet, to use search engines, to join fabswingers. New or second hand makes no difference, they are the same ones whatever device you use, except portable devices also tell the internet where you are when used.
So unless you have pinched someone's phone, with their accounts including the one you are posting from, you have agreed to the terms and conditions that you think you have avoided.my original post does say 'radio 4 says NEW COMPUTER INSTALLATIONS. Most reasonable thinking people dont think a home computer/laptop is a mobile phone.Hence when you asked how do I post on fabswingers if no computer,as someone else asked "phone"?is the reasonable thinking persons alternative ...we all bow to your superior intellect .m'lud.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we all bow to your superior intellect .m'lud.
"
Thank you, I will accept that Radio 4 was at fault confusing the issue between computers which have no terms and conditions, and software / internet which does |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are trained to lie from birth, tooth fairy, Santa, etc. It's part of life.
I never told my children the tooth fairy. Easter bunny and santa we're real.
I couldn't bring myself to lie to innocents.
They knew from an early age I wouldn't lie to them nor should they lie to me as it causes more problems.
I withhold information rather than lie , unless asked a direct question. "
I have always felt uneasy with these lies to my kids but I went with the Santa and tooth fairy for the other children. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels like this, I've been called a grinch for not wanting to lie! I also got dirty looks and stupid questions when I told my 4year old how babies were born (in 4 year old language) why would I lie! It's what happens!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are trained to lie from birth, tooth fairy, Santa, etc. It's part of life.
I never told my children the tooth fairy. Easter bunny and santa we're real.
I couldn't bring myself to lie to innocents.
They knew from an early age I wouldn't lie to them nor should they lie to me as it causes more problems.
I withhold information rather than lie , unless asked a direct question.
I have always felt uneasy with these lies to my kids but I went with the Santa and tooth fairy for the other children. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels like this, I've been called a grinch for not wanting to lie! I also got dirty looks and stupid questions when I told my 4year old how babies were born (in 4 year old language) why would I lie! It's what happens!
"
Definite grinches. Sparking imagination and fascination regarding Christmas and fairy tales into my little 3yr old is so much more rewarding than the truth. I think he will forgive me for lying about these things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I lie about where I met Mr (obviously on a a good old socially acceptable dating site) as it’s my business, but also the judgement. I also lie by omission to some about being bi- good old homophobia, and again it’s my business.
They may cheat and fuck loads of people, but would have moral outrage at me being on a swingers site x It’s all down to someone else’s moral compass or prejudice in cases like this xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are trained to lie from birth, tooth fairy, Santa, etc. It's part of life.
I never told my children the tooth fairy. Easter bunny and santa we're real.
I couldn't bring myself to lie to innocents.
They knew from an early age I wouldn't lie to them nor should they lie to me as it causes more problems.
I withhold information rather than lie , unless asked a direct question.
I have always felt uneasy with these lies to my kids but I went with the Santa and tooth fairy for the other children. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels like this, I've been called a grinch for not wanting to lie! I also got dirty looks and stupid questions when I told my 4year old how babies were born (in 4 year old language) why would I lie! It's what happens!
Definite grinches. Sparking imagination and fascination regarding Christmas and fairy tales into my little 3yr old is so much more rewarding than the truth. I think he will forgive me for lying about these things "
Surely that would be classed as fiction and not lies? Or are you telling me Middle Earth doesn't exist? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The O.P. says " We all know it's bad to lie to people," That's pure assumption.
I don't think it's morally wrong to lie. Not in all circumstances.
I'm more interested in where ideas about morality are formed and how some come to think of them as absolutes.
Now ...... We ALL know it's WRONG to swing...... right ?"
Interesting question about where morals come from. |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
My mum said “if you never tell a lie you never have to remember what you said”. It makes life sooooooo much easier.
But of course we all do. The difference between those little white lies and bad lies is rooted in why you’re telling them.
If you’re telling them because you care about the other person “mmmmm that was yummy but I’m full and couldn’t eat another mouthful”. That’s a kind lie. There’s no self pleasure there. You’re hungry and you just had crap food.
If you’re found doing it for you “I can’t come to work I have a sore throat...... off out with friends”... that’s a selfish lie rooted in pleasing the self. This can be as simple as bogging off work everything through to pure evil.
Then there’s crossovers... Father Christmas for example. We all have different ways of talking about this with our kids. I don’t consider it a lie, but I do think it’s fiction. It’s like story telling or fantasy. There’s no morality issue in story telling if it’s rooted in the pleasure of others. Magic can do wonderful things.
V x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My mum said “if you never tell a lie you never have to remember what you said”. It makes life sooooooo much easier.
But of course we all do. The difference between those little white lies and bad lies is rooted in why you’re telling them.
If you’re telling them because you care about the other person “mmmmm that was yummy but I’m full and couldn’t eat another mouthful”. That’s a kind lie. There’s no self pleasure there. You’re hungry and you just had crap food.
If you’re found doing it for you “I can’t come to work I have a sore throat...... off out with friends”... that’s a selfish lie rooted in pleasing the self. This can be as simple as bogging off work everything through to pure evil.
Then there’s crossovers... Father Christmas for example. We all have different ways of talking about this with our kids. I don’t consider it a lie, but I do think it’s fiction. It’s like story telling or fantasy. There’s no morality issue in story telling if it’s rooted in the pleasure of others. Magic can do wonderful things.
V x "
Perfectly put!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I lie about where I met Mr (obviously on a a good old socially acceptable dating site) as it’s my business, but also the judgement. I also lie by omission to some about being bi- good old homophobia, and again it’s my business.
They may cheat and fuck loads of people, but would have moral outrage at me being on a swingers site x It’s all down to someone else’s moral compass or prejudice in cases like this xx "
Should say it’s to family because it’s not acceptable in my family. Don’t care if others know, but obviously don’t go out of my way to tell them, as it’s my business. Trusted friends know xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I lie to nearly everyone where i met my ex. It was on here. I say we met on a night out with friends... it's only a little lie. Technically I did meet him this way, only it was for a social and not on a night out with friends |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Complete honesty is rarely well received.
I think we should all try a day where we only speak the absolute truth.
We'd all be unemployed, friendless and for those in relationships probably single  |
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"I lie to nearly everyone where i met my ex. It was on here. I say we met on a night out with friends... it's only a little lie. Technically I did meet him this way, only it was for a social and not on a night out with friends "
I just say 'online' and laugh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I lie to nearly everyone where i met my ex. It was on here. I say we met on a night out with friends... it's only a little lie. Technically I did meet him this way, only it was for a social and not on a night out with friends
I just say 'online' and laugh. "
Haha if not for the fact that we have a child together, i wouldnt need to fib  |
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"Complete honesty is rarely well received.
I think we should all try a day where we only speak the absolute truth.
We'd all be unemployed, friendless and for those in relationships probably single "
I think you over-estimate, as I say, apart from ticking boxes to say I've read terms and conditions I didn't lie for 20 odd years and I very rarely do now. I've just got into the habit of finding a way to avoid it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Complete honesty is rarely well received.
I think we should all try a day where we only speak the absolute truth.
We'd all be unemployed, friendless and for those in relationships probably single "
I'm famous for it lol no-one asks me for my opinion unless they actually want as I don't believe in saying unecessary things! The world might be a better place if people didn't want so many compliments all the time ... and before anyone asks I'm never rude, that old adage "if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing" works perfectly |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Complete honesty is rarely well received.
I think we should all try a day where we only speak the absolute truth.
We'd all be unemployed, friendless and for those in relationships probably single "
"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If people started telling the truth more then it wouldn't be such a problem ... it's just that maybe one gets in the habit of not telling the truth and then it's to get yourself out is difficult |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Complete honesty is rarely well received.
I think we should all try a day where we only speak the absolute truth.
We'd all be unemployed, friendless and for those in relationships probably single
"The truth is rarely pure and never simple.""
B side of a lightning seeds track? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If people started telling the truth more then it wouldn't be such a problem ... it's just that maybe one gets in the habit of not telling the truth and then it's to get yourself out is difficult "
*would help if I read before pressing post!! NO IT'S sorry |
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Sorry !!!
I lied to my kids all the time...that a lovely picture, I’d love to put it on the fridge.....