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Just take it out the packaging and put it up your arse
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A walnut whip
You still haven't paid me for it yet Ness - and for the carpet burns cream.Cheque is in the post xx
Is it a cheque that your arse can't cash?  x"
Probably one of those bouncy ones xx |
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"A walnut whip
You still haven't paid me for it yet Ness - and for the carpet burns cream.Cheque is in the post xx
Is it a cheque that your arse can't cash? xProbably one of those bouncy ones xx"
No worries, maybe it'll have a different kind of value such as filter overriding?  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A walnut whip
You still haven't paid me for it yet Ness - and for the carpet burns cream.Cheque is in the post xx
Is it a cheque that your arse can't cash? xProbably one of those bouncy ones xx
No worries, maybe it'll have a different kind of value such as filter overriding? x"
Your wish is my command x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Last thing I opened was my front door. Can I use lube 
Puts a whole new meaning to ‘put wood in’th hole’. (Lancashire phrase I think)  "
You are correct Sir.
If anyone needs me, I'm in A&E explaining how I was busy sorting my bathroom out and inadvertently stood on a tube of ky.
Then the postman rang the doorbell and in my haste to get to him before he left a parcel with a neighbour, I ran down the stairs, tripped over the dog and all my clothes fell off. In my horror I covered my now naked arse with my hand that happened to be covered in KY (following the attempted clean up).
As I got to the door and opened it, the dog tried to escape. He ran through my legs and I was bowled over, impaling myself on the corner of the door... |
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"Last thing I opened was my front door. Can I use lube
Puts a whole new meaning to ‘put wood in’th hole’. (Lancashire phrase I think)
You are correct Sir.
If anyone needs me, I'm in A&E explaining how I was busy sorting my bathroom out and inadvertently stood on a tube of ky.
Then the postman rang the doorbell and in my haste to get to him before he left a parcel with a neighbour, I ran down the stairs, tripped over the dog and all my clothes fell off. In my horror I covered my now naked arse with my hand that happened to be covered in KY (following the attempted clean up).
As I got to the door and opened it, the dog tried to escape. He ran through my legs and I was bowled over, impaling myself on the corner of the door..."
That's funny. You must work in A&E....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Last thing I opened was my front door. Can I use lube
Puts a whole new meaning to ‘put wood in’th hole’. (Lancashire phrase I think)
You are correct Sir.
If anyone needs me, I'm in A&E explaining how I was busy sorting my bathroom out and inadvertently stood on a tube of ky.
Then the postman rang the doorbell and in my haste to get to him before he left a parcel with a neighbour, I ran down the stairs, tripped over the dog and all my clothes fell off. In my horror I covered my now naked arse with my hand that happened to be covered in KY (following the attempted clean up).
As I got to the door and opened it, the dog tried to escape. He ran through my legs and I was bowled over, impaling myself on the corner of the door..."
Haha.  .... but how does that explain the vibrating cock ring? |
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"Last thing I opened was my front door. Can I use lube
Puts a whole new meaning to ‘put wood in’th hole’. (Lancashire phrase I think)
You are correct Sir.
If anyone needs me, I'm in A&E explaining how I was busy sorting my bathroom out and inadvertently stood on a tube of ky.
Then the postman rang the doorbell and in my haste to get to him before he left a parcel with a neighbour, I ran down the stairs, tripped over the dog and all my clothes fell off. In my horror I covered my now naked arse with my hand that happened to be covered in KY (following the attempted clean up).
As I got to the door and opened it, the dog tried to escape. He ran through my legs and I was bowled over, impaling myself on the corner of the door..."
Ouch! Bloody ouch!, |
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