FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Are young people too young to swing?
Are young people too young to swing?
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Is it age or is it a lack of life experiences (at any age) which makes, for some people, the decision to swing questionable?
Life experiences are important. They say you can’t teach common sense but you can certainly develop your savvy through getting out there and living a full and varied life.
Wisdom doesn’t always come with age… especially if you have lived in a bubble for most of it.
Are big leaps a good idea?
Are smaller steps and a more natural progression from one thing to another wiser or a waste of time?
When is someone really ready and what is the preparation required?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The legal age for sex in the UK is 16, yet to join a site like this one has to be 18. To my mind, a person who is above the legal age of consent is free to choose their sexual partners and sexual adventures as they see fit and I don't have a problem with that.
I'm not attracted to people under 18 as I have a 14y/o daughter myself and it's just too young for me, but over 18 and I see no reason why I shouldn't play with someone in that age range if they wanted to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they need swinging to rock their boat (Say under 30), makes you wonder what it will take by the time they are 50...of course they could have been exposed to wider sexual activities at a younger age and here they are...
It's only past 40 that I started to feel plain sex is not enough... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's only past 40 that I started to feel plain sex is not enough..."
I've always known that vanilla sex isn't enough for me on a permanent basis. I've always loved bondage and BDSM but even including a third person satifies my desires to push boundaries. I tend to view it as I'd like to try while I'm young(ish) and helathy enough to enjoy it than wait till I'm too old and fucked to see if I like it. Try it and regret, as opposed to regret not trying.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Is it age or is it a lack of life experiences (at any age) which makes, for some people, the decision to swing questionable?
Life experiences are important. They say you can’t teach common sense but you can certainly develop your savvy through getting out there and living a full and varied life.
Wisdom doesn’t always come with age… especially if you have lived in a bubble for most of it.
Are big leaps a good idea?
Are smaller steps and a more natural progression from one thing to another wiser or a waste of time?
When is someone really ready and what is the preparation required?
"
I don't think its age or life experience that makes you ready for swinging i think its a state of mind.. some people are swingers and some people aren't..
I personally, being a youngish woman in the scene, feel patronised being told im too young to swing, or i cant handle it etc.
I know of some older people in the scene who have had all out blazing rows with their partners at parties and in clubs because they couldn't communicate or didn't.
Whereas me and my partner have had no problems because we understood that as liberally minded as we are (sexually) we could come accross feelings we havent felt before or situations that we havent discussed and we talked about what to do in those situations... but i am sure that there are younger people out there who havent discussed and have had problems the same as older people
But some people, older and younger, cannot communicate or are afraid to have frank, open and honest conversations with their partner and they get themselves into a tizzy.
so to sum up i don't think its to do with age or lack of life experiences.. i think its to do with the ability to communicate openly and honestly with their partner and their potential swinging partners in the scene.
and in answer to your question of when someone is ready, they are ready when they feel they want to do it. IF they ever do feel that way. i had my first 3way at 17 and i have never looked back and i am still good friends with the couple i did it with. (fem btw) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont think a person should be judged by their age.
Without intending to divert the topic, casual sex is frowned upon amongst many social circles, more so for females but also males, and therefore the site provides an avenue to have fun without everyone knowing your business |
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I started swinging at 17, i had a unusal amount of life experiences though which made me more mature and i was able to be sensible with siwnging. Had many successfull and enjoyable meets and met many great friends.
What i did and still do find though was majority of other younger people i have met are immature. I cant think of the word but they dont seem to see the problem by having bareback sex, putting face picture's on public viewing, using the same sex toy without cleaning on a variety of partner's etc. I also found/find there understanding of certain things difficult for me to comprehend. I'am able to see 2 sides to a story yet there view is the only and right view. I've proberbly explianed all that badly!
Think it really depend's on the person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont think a person should be judged by their age.
Without intending to divert the topic, casual sex is frowned upon amongst many social circles, more so for females but also males, and therefore the site provides an avenue to have fun without everyone knowing your business"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we would never play with anyone younger than E's kids, period. just wouldnt feel right.
B"
but does that mean they shouldn't be swinging themselves?.. just because you wouldn't play with them? |
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Both my kids are in their 20's...
I would hate to think they would consider swinging with their partners!
Is that me being the over protective mother? Maybe!
Would we play with young couples in their 20's?.....No!
Would a young couple play with us?...Probably not! lol
Do I judge young couples swinging?..NO!!
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
If I'm honest I reckon before the birth of my daughter I was definitely indulging in casual sex and, if I'd have known about them, would have attended swinger clubs in a second! I've always had an incredibly high sex drive but very short attention span, so sex with multiple partners suits me fine. So between 18 and 26 I was at it like a rabbit on heat. And I'm pretty sure it wasn't causing me any last damage. |
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Going by my personal experiences, when i started having sex noone talked about it, there was nowhere to get information from, the only time sex was mentioned was when the lads handed round their dads porno mag at school. I was doing things that i dont think others where doing at my age, i was confused, thought i was different and really struggled as a teenager. I also never(and still dont) associate love and sex, to me they are two completely different things. I thought i was odd thinking like this. The girls where all looking for a steady boyfriend, lets just say i wasnt. I was having very different experiences.
If things had been different and the access to all the education, internet websites ect had been available then i would say i would have definetly been ready to be on a swingers site by the time i was 18.
However, there is a part of me that thinks the young ones should be down the pub with there mates pulling on a saturday night. I dont regret doing the things i did from the age i did them but im glad that my son did things differently, he got into a relationship with a girl and experimented within that relationship(from the bits hes told me), he doesnt do one night stands and in effect is a bit of a prude.
I wouldnt play with young people, thats the mother kicking in and the mother kicks in when i think they should be out interacting with people face to face.
So if some of the young ones have gone through the experiences i had by that age then i do think they are ready for a swinging site. But there are many that arnt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they need swinging to rock their boat (Say under 30), makes you wonder what it will take by the time they are 50....."
If someone 'needs swinging' at all then they have an issue regardless of age.
Age has nothing to do with it in the slightest, over 18 by law your free to do what you want.
I think it all depends on the individual, we all mature physically and mentally at different stages, which is where the issue lies.
Personally we only play with folks closer to our own age as then we could possibly have more in common.
There is a lot of patronising the 'younger' swingers from the 'older' ones on fab, but more often then not these are the ones that would jump at a chance to meet with an 18 year old girl. (my opinion ofcourse x) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is a lot of patronising the 'younger' swingers from the 'older' ones on fab, but more often then not these are the ones that would jump at a chance to meet with an 18 year old girl. (my opinion ofcourse x)"
Really. How did you arrive at that opinion? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is a lot of patronising the 'younger' swingers from the 'older' ones on fab, but more often then not these are the ones that would jump at a chance to meet with an 18 year old girl. (my opinion ofcourse x)
Really. How did you arrive at that opinion?"
The ages of those leaving Verifications on their profiles normally give it away (and being winked at after looking at their page) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Although I've been on the scene since 17 (introduced to it through my bi side) and enjoyed it all
If I had the chance again I really feel I would have started a lot later if ever
Yes the young on here especially males get some flax and to be honest it pisses me off
Maturity comes in different forms think some seem to forget they were young once
And although I would now say to any young person hang five and think about it
If that's what they have decided is right for THEIR life who is anyone to judge? |
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"There is a lot of patronising the 'younger' swingers from the 'older' ones on fab, but more often then not these are the ones that would jump at a chance to meet with an 18 year old girl. (my opinion ofcourse x)
Really. How did you arrive at that opinion?"
She is right!
Most men would lol
But not got a hope in hell if their wives have any say in it  |
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"
There is a lot of patronising the 'younger' swingers from the 'older' ones on fab, but more often then not these are the ones that would jump at a chance to meet with an 18 year old girl. (my opinion ofcourse x)"
Not just on fab. There is also a lot of patronizing in swingers clubs. Though it can get quite tedious it has never affected me personally as I generally question people's motives to say something.
Must say, it have not often been men that pointed out the fact that they have 'children older then me'. 
On-topic: I don't feel to young to experiment with my sexuality, I think it's a normal thing to do in your 20's and regard this as a very safe environment to do so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well i was getting plenty of sex when i was 17, then got married when i was 18, and felt like i was missing out, so i think people should enjoy themselves when they are young, lifes too short. |
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Got married when I was 16..
2 children before I was 19...
Did I feel like I was missing out on anything when I was younger? No I didn't!!
Started swinging when I was in my mid 30's...My kids had grown up and only then did I feel something was missing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
There is a lot of patronising the 'younger' swingers from the 'older' ones on fab, but more often then not these are the ones that would jump at a chance to meet with an 18 year old girl. (my opinion ofcourse x)
Not just on fab. There is also a lot of patronizing in swingers clubs. Though it can get quite tedious it has never affected me personally as I generally question people's motives to say something.
Must say, it have not often been men that pointed out the fact that they have 'children older then me'.
On-topic: I don't feel to young to experiment with my sexuality, I think it's a normal thing to do in your 20's and regard this as a very safe environment to do so. "
I joined my local sex club at 19, all the guys were very keen to play and to be fair most of the women, there were however as in most cases the 1's who point their fingers and frowned upon me being there, 1 woman in particular used to single me out as a "tramp" (her words) however I was only doing the same as she was, she always stormed off instucting hubby to follow, I've news for her lol  |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
I didnt lose my virginity until my 18th birthday...i simply wasnt bothered....as long as its legal who are we to judge the way others live their lives? If they are happy doing it and others are happy to meet them for NSA sex then let em get on with it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends on the person/people involved.
Some 40 year olds are less mature than some people in their 20's, Personally I would say it is down to attitude, aptitude and personality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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IMO... No, but the age gap can be an issue, and individuals are very very different in maturity... there are many in their 40's and 50's who are too young to swing!
We wouldn't want to play with teenagers, and probably nobody under mid 30's though of course there are always exceptions.  |
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A 20yr old can have more life experience than a 50yr old....
As the OP says, if that 50yr old has lived in a bubble all their life....
So yes, it is all down to the life you have lived so far regardless of what age you are..... |
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erm.... we have discussed it having seen adverts from 'kids' and have come to the conclusion that everything is everyone elses choice, and shouldnt be for anyone else to try to discourage.
ateotd you could be in your 40's and find its not for you, yet adversly, hate the fact you have missed out on it for the past 20 or so years.
so should they? if they feel happy and comfortable then why not, just probably wouldnt be with us. |
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I don't think it is anyone's place to decide wether someone else is 'ready' or not, regardless of their (lack of) life experience.
I do however think that if you're an 18 y.o girl on your own without much life experience it can be a bit hazardous. |
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"I don't think it is anyone's place to decide wether someone else is 'ready' or not, regardless of their (lack of) life experience.
I do however think that if you're an 18 y.o girl on your own without much life experience it can be a bit hazardous. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think it is anyone's place to decide wether someone else is 'ready' or not, regardless of their (lack of) life experience.
I do however think that if you're an 18 y.o girl on your own without much life experience it can be a bit hazardous.
"
+1 |
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I also think if you find the right young couple, it's great that a couple know what they want and have the courage to go out and enjoy their fantasie's. Why wait till your older? You have to live for today |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also when you are young you are less likely to have health problems, you are more likely to have more energy, be more atractive so you are more likely to have better looking partners. |
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"
I don't think its age or life experience that makes you ready for swinging i think its a state of mind.. some people are swingers and some people aren't..
I know of some older people in the scene who have had all out blazing rows with their partners at parties and in clubs because they couldn't communicate or didn't.
Whereas me and my partner have had no problems because we understood that as liberally minded as we are (sexually) we could come accross feelings we havent felt before or situations that we havent discussed and we talked about what to do in those situations... but i am sure that there are younger people out there who havent discussed and have had problems the same as older people
But some people, older and younger, cannot communicate or are afraid to have frank, open and honest conversations with their partner and they get themselves into a tizzy.
so to sum up i don't think its to do with age or lack of life experiences.. i think its to do with the ability to communicate openly and honestly with their partner and their potential swinging partners in the scene.
and in answer to your question of when someone is ready, they are ready when they feel they want to do it. IF they ever do feel that way. i had my first 3way at 17 and i have never looked back and i am still good friends with the couple i did it with. (fem btw)"
well said, pretty much hits the nail on the head.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i think swinging should be the last thing on most teens minds. i think someone else said it in another thread similar to this. at that age get some norm under ur belt before considering an alternative lifestyle/sexlife |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Have two age criteria
Legal and not dead
If I find a person attractive in anyway then what the hell
You only live once xx "
I dunno bout that. Megan Fox one minute post mortem would still be... nah, best not go there lol |
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"i think swinging should be the last thing on most teens minds. i think someone else said it in another thread similar to this. at that age get some norm under ur belt before considering an alternative lifestyle/sexlife"
Thanks, but I don't think I'll be taking advice from someone who's profile text could have been written by a twelve year old. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i think swinging should be the last thing on most teens minds. i think someone else said it in another thread similar to this. at that age get some norm under ur belt before considering an alternative lifestyle/sexlife
Thanks, but I don't think I'll be taking advice from someone who's profile text could have been written by a twelve year old. "
thanks for reading |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it a little uncomfortable when I see 18-20 year olds on my looked at list but to be honest, if swinging is what they want to try, I am not going to stop them nor tell them not to, its their life to make good or bad choices and they have to live with the results |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i think swinging should be the last thing on most teens minds. i think someone else said it in another thread similar to this. at that age get some norm under ur belt before considering an alternative lifestyle/sexlife"
The norm being staggering out of a niteclub totally trashed with a total stranger who doesn't care what you might wake up with long after they've slinked off into the wee small hours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont think a person should be judged by their age.
Without intending to divert the topic, casual sex is frowned upon amongst many social circles, more so for females but also males, and therefore the site provides an avenue to have fun without everyone knowing your business"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Is it age or is it a lack of life experiences (at any age) which makes, for some people, the decision to swing questionable?
Life experiences are important. They say you can’t teach common sense but you can certainly develop your savvy through getting out there and living a full and varied life.
Wisdom doesn’t always come with age… especially if you have lived in a bubble for most of it.
Are big leaps a good idea?
Are smaller steps and a more natural progression from one thing to another wiser or a waste of time?
When is someone really ready and what is the preparation required?
"
Like all things, it's about the individual. Some young people experience hardships that force them to grow up quickly, Some older people have had a an easy ride and area more naive to certain things in life. |
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