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Has Promiscuity Effected You?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'd love to hear your thoughts on this; do you think having a sexually adventurous life style has made it harder for you to be monogamous? (for those that desire that) or, changed how you've dated or approached your current / prospective relationships?
Or perhaps you've seen some other effects? Like confidence, understanding your value in the bedroom, the value of respect when it comes to sex.
Any and all thoughts are welcome.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's massively improved my confidence and helped me to figure out what I'd want from a relationship.
Though when I first started, it massively knocked my confidence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s massively improved my confidence and increased my knowledge and changed my attitude a lot in the bedroom
It has made me feel differently about monogamous relationships but I’d never judge anyone for that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think so, I know both for me and my husband that this lifestyle as become part of our life. I carried on last year when he didn’t want to (with his blessing) and vice Versa.
Before swinging I wouldn’t have dreamt in a million years of doing this! I feel so liberated! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This lifestyle has taught me an awful lot about myself, and others.
I quickly realise after joining this site nearly 10 years ago that I could never be monogamous again.
Prior to that I had been married and faithful for 15 years.
I actually do not believe that human beings are designed to be monogamous, or indeed to pair for life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This lifestyle has taught me an awful lot about myself, and others.
I quickly realise after joining this site nearly 10 years ago that I could never be monogamous again.
Prior to that I had been married and faithful for 15 years.
I actually do not believe that human beings are designed to be monogamous, or indeed to pair for life."
Animals don’t apart from swans I believe. I might be wrong though xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Habving a sex life that is adventurous or at least non vanilla, does not need be promiscuous. I am most certainly not.
I have always been entirely faithful and monogamous, whilst still having a high sex drive. It was only when meeting my current partner that I began to explore other possibilities. I needn't cheat on him as he's likely to give me a hall pass if he thinks the guy is worthy, not that I would "cheat" anyway. I am faithful to our trust, bond and boundaries but I am not 'monogamous' but not promiscuous either.
Knowing that my partner adores me and has my pleasure and fulfilment as his priority gives me confidence, not how many guys I sleep with. |
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"This lifestyle has taught me an awful lot about myself, and others.
I quickly realise after joining this site nearly 10 years ago that I could never be monogamous again.
Prior to that I had been married and faithful for 15 years.
I actually do not believe that human beings are designed to be monogamous, or indeed to pair for life.
Animals don’t apart from swans I believe. I might be wrong though xx"
Albatross, Puffins and others. While not widespread, it’s not as rare as people perceive. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd love to hear your thoughts on this; do you think having a sexually adventurous life style has made it harder for you to be monogamous? (for those that desire that) or, changed how you've dated or approached your current / prospective relationships?
Or perhaps you've seen some other effects? Like confidence, understanding your value in the bedroom, the value of respect when it comes to sex.
Any and all thoughts are welcome.
"
Sorry to clarify - I'm not equating sexually adventurous with promiscuity. They were two different thought I put it together badly.
So one thing being sexually adventurous in terms of kinks.
A separate one in terms of promiscuousity.
Also, I know there are negative connations with the word promiscuous, I consider myself promiscuous and I'm not saying it in a negative light. It's all personal choices. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not atall. All this has just been an experience by choice. I guess it has no more effect on me than any other of life's experiences which shape who we are?
Sex isn't really a defining aspect of who we are ? But I can see how some peoples confidence maybe,but how sincere are others in contributing to it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This lifestyle has taught me an awful lot about myself, and others.
I quickly realise after joining this site nearly 10 years ago that I could never be monogamous again.
Prior to that I had been married and faithful for 15 years.
I actually do not believe that human beings are designed to be monogamous, or indeed to pair for life.
Animals don’t apart from swans I believe. I might be wrong though xx
Albatross, Puffins and others. While not widespread, it’s not as rare as people perceive. "
There's lots of monogamous animals, ranging from monkeys to wolves, birds to fish. Some are literally until death and others are pair-bonding exclusively for lengthy period of time (relevant to the animals life span).
Though whether it's natural for us is a big debate lol, I'd say in general it is. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's massively improved my confidence and helped me to figure out what I'd want from a relationship.
Though when I first started, it massively knocked my confidence. "
How did it knock your confidence? (If you don't mind sharing) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s massively improved my confidence and increased my knowledge and changed my attitude a lot in the bedroom
It has made me feel differently about monogamous relationships but I’d never judge anyone for that"
That's awesome 
Do you now think you'd want an open relationship? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think so, I know both for me and my husband that this lifestyle as become part of our life. I carried on last year when he didn’t want to (with his blessing) and vice Versa.
Before swinging I wouldn’t have dreamt in a million years of doing this! I feel so liberated! "
How did you first step into it? Did you both venture into it within your marriage? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having sexy adventures has made me feel much much closer to my wife. Simply being more open with someone sharing our inner thoughts with each other has been enlightening to our relationship. Watching how our relationship has changed (which was obvious) is just as exiting as it was many many years ago.
Promiscuity can be a positive thing, if you let it be. No? Or at least it is for us now, it might change. Who knows? |
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
Op -While I can quite easily be emotionally monogamous I don't think I have ever been sexually monogamous -sure I've played that role but in truth that was more so as not to upset my partner at the time than it me being true to myself |
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Both of us have been promiscuous since we were 18 in the sense that we had many, transient sexual partners. We were monogamous within our relationship for many, many years. Neither has had a negative effect on us. Too much emphasis is placed on casual sex in my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Op -While I can quite easily be emotionally monogamous I don't think I have ever been sexually monogamous -sure I've played that role but in truth that was more so as not to upset my partner at the time than it me being true to myself"
Alot of people dont know the difference, which is why you hear people say " isnt swinging cheating?"
And why so many men think that women want threesomes and gangbangs because their partner cant satisfy them.
They just dont get it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Both of us have been promiscuous since we were 18 in the sense that we had many, transient sexual partners. We were monogamous within our relationship for many, many years. Neither has had a negative effect on us. Too much emphasis is placed on casual sex in my opinion. "
Do you mean too much emphasis on casual sex in society or something else? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm struggling at the moment to not think sexual thoughts about a man I gave my number to recently.
I met him at a cash machine and he texted me within half an hour.
He rings every day but we haven't been out yet.
I keep thinking of him naked and in bed and I'm wondering if he will want sex with me straight away.
I don't want to think of the sex part yet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm struggling at the moment to not think sexual thoughts about a man I gave my number to recently.
I met him at a cash machine and he texted me within half an hour.
He rings every day but we haven't been out yet.
I keep thinking of him naked and in bed and I'm wondering if he will want sex with me straight away.
I don't want to think of the sex part yet."
And I don't know if I can give up my regular partners if he wants a relationship. |
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"Both of us have been promiscuous since we were 18 in the sense that we had many, transient sexual partners. We were monogamous within our relationship for many, many years. Neither has had a negative effect on us. Too much emphasis is placed on casual sex in my opinion.
Do you mean too much emphasis on casual sex in society or something else?"
Too many people think of it as wrong and people that have a lot of partners as bad. On here people read things in to casual sex that just aren't there. I wish people could acknowledge that friendly, pleasurable one off sexual encounters have no more significance than good meal out with friends to some people and that doesn't make them bad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally having experienced this lifestyle on a modest level has given me a fantastic insight into muself as an individual. Having been married in a vertically celibate relationship for 10 years I needed to find myself sexually again, and Fab was brilliant for that, not just because of my sexual encounters with ladies on here but also because of what I've learned from thise I've met socially through Fab.
For me I now know that being monogamous again ( as I had been for 15 years previously ) with the right woman would be my best fit personally. If a woman who I bond with in many important aspects (including sexual chemistry and appetite ) doesn't come into my life then I wouldn't dream of settling for monogamy ....I'd sooner be single the rest of my life and enjoy occasional play with interesting women I respected a clicked with.
Lastly if I were to find a lady in the vanilla world that I wanted to have a life relationships with again I would only be with someone who was definite they wanted to be monogamous....I know that swinging within a relationship is not for me personally, but that's just my choice and it's not to say I don't respect the choices of married couples on here who's relationships are thriving through swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Both of us have been promiscuous since we were 18 in the sense that we had many, transient sexual partners. We were monogamous within our relationship for many, many years. Neither has had a negative effect on us. Too much emphasis is placed on casual sex in my opinion.
Do you mean too much emphasis on casual sex in society or something else?
Too many people think of it as wrong and people that have a lot of partners as bad. On here people read things in to casual sex that just aren't there. I wish people could acknowledge that friendly, pleasurable one off sexual encounters have no more significance than good meal out with friends to some people and that doesn't make them bad. "
I like this thought,l/opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If anything it's made me more commited to my relationship. As I have the option to play away I have found in just not interested. Q unos
I love my bf and he loves me, over time the playing got less and less for both of us.
I'm now at a point where I will probably hand my fab boots up and just enjoy having the greatest thing that ever happened to me... Him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not promiscuous nor do I seek monogamy "
I don’t think some guys get that. They ave virgin/whore complex.
We are on here looking for sex (like them) so we must be whores
It it any surprise that they don’t get anywhere  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s massively improved my confidence and increased my knowledge and changed my attitude a lot in the bedroom
It has made me feel differently about monogamous relationships but I’d never judge anyone for that
That's awesome
Do you now think you'd want an open relationship? "
Yeah I think I probably would |
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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago
Hitchin |
I wouldn’t call it promiscuity... I don’t actively go out looking for people to play with.
It’s more of just how I life my life kinda thing.
I do have a relationship. We are very open with each other, both on here, we actually met at Jaydees. 
I don’t meet anybody outside of clubs, we do both go to clubs, both together and separately, more for the social side of things. If we play then we play, but I certainly don’t actively look to play. Has to be a spark to excite me these days lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If anything it's made me more commited to my relationship. As I have the option to play away I have found in just not interested. Q unos
I love my bf and he loves me, over time the playing got less and less for both of us.
I'm now at a point where I will probably hand my fab boots up and just enjoy having the greatest thing that ever happened to me... Him"
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"Both of us have been promiscuous since we were 18 in the sense that we had many, transient sexual partners. We were monogamous within our relationship for many, many years. Neither has had a negative effect on us. Too much emphasis is placed on casual sex in my opinion.
Do you mean too much emphasis on casual sex in society or something else?
Too many people think of it as wrong and people that have a lot of partners as bad. On here people read things in to casual sex that just aren't there. I wish people could acknowledge that friendly, pleasurable one off sexual encounters have no more significance than good meal out with friends to some people and that doesn't make them bad.
I like this thought,l/opinion. "
Good. I don't think many people subscribe to it though  . I see so much justification, explanation and judgement. |
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