 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not happy ?
Do something about it then
  "
I used to have really strong views on this. As I've grown, while morally I think it's black and white.
Allowing space for people to be human, I've began to understand the complexities that can be involved in a marriage going wrong and the implications of leaving negatively for children or each individually.
Life can be difficult man. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When every effort has been made and failed to communicate effectively, resolve issues and see if there's still love and the basis for a healthy marriage...then yes, it's time to get out. Unfortunately kids, finances and shared assets often prevent those that should separate doing so.
Once got a very good piece of advise when I was married and unhappy. It was :-
' If you want to be one of those people who's comfort zone is being miserable and constantly complaining about your spouse, then keep going. If not then do something about it.' |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I did. It took a lot of years and for someone to die before I could get out.
It's not as simple as just leaving for some.
"
Was the someone that died your spouse ??
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" If you want to be one of those people who's comfort zone is being miserable and constantly complaining about your spouse, then keep going. If not then do something about it.'"
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Not happy ?
Do something about it then
If my marriage is made up of 10 elements and only 1 is really pissing me off should I get out??
"
And the element is, let me guess, sex |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some folk are just selfish and narcissistic and cheat because they can and have no feelings of guilt but not everything is black and white, health issues is a big one for folk to stay in a relationship, children and financial implications are another. It can be hard to walk away from someone you love and adore but don’t give back what you give and those feelings of rejection you get elsewhere, someone has loved you and given you children but physically are no longer the person they were you still love them and want to be there to support them but it’s become a friendship, some folk put on the pretence till the kids move out on the hope they won’t affect the mental well-being of the kids and again some are just arseholes but who are any of us to judge if we’ve not experienced it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I did. It took a lot of years and for someone to die before I could get out.
It's not as simple as just leaving for some.
"
I totally get this my friends had a disabled son and they stayed together to make his life easier lots of couples break up through similar but they chose to stay together to co-parent and when their son passed away they broke up, on the outside no one knew as far as family were concerned they slept separately so they could take turns being the Carer during
The night etc they had problems before their son came along and he brought them together but only as parents loving their boy they still get together Christmas and birthdays and go visit his grave |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I did. It took a lot of years and for someone to die before I could get out.
It's not as simple as just leaving for some.
Was the someone that died your spouse ??
"
No, my twin sister who had cerebral palsy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
