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Dominant/Master
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"All i want to know is if there are still dominant men out there? I am talking about the ones that know what they are doing, have their own toys and restrains the ones that know that this is more about mind than body. So are there any out there ? " Yes there is alot in fact. But maybe looking on the right site for thatbx | |||
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"All i want to know is if there are still dominant men out there? I am talking about the ones that know what they are doing, have their own toys and restrains the ones that know that this is more about mind than body. So are there any out there ? " F E T L I F E DOT COM | |||
"All i want to know is if there are still dominant men out there? I am talking about the ones that know what they are doing, have their own toys and restrains the ones that know that this is more about mind than body. So are there any out there ? F E T L I F E DOT COM" Thank you hun, i have a profile there, but it's one of the worst website i have seen. :* :* :* | |||
"All i want to know is if there are still dominant men out there? I am talking about the ones that know what they are doing, have their own toys and restrains the ones that know that this is more about mind than body. So are there any out there ? F E T L I F E DOT COM Thank you hun, i have a profile there, but it's one of the worst website i have seen. :* :* :*" it is really bad full men who think they are dom untill they see a mistress then they sub . Like today I read. I want a female to obey all my demands etc, but at the end he said unless you're dom then am sub. | |||
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"Yep !" That sounds very authoritative. | |||
 but other sites are more geared to O/P wants. | |||
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"I was going to walk away and not comment on this thread but I would make a few comments. Firstly there are some very competent doms on this site with toys. Secondly fetl is a great resource to find events and meet real people and possibly get to know someone to play with. It is not a dating site although some people successfully meet others on it. To find a matching dom online is as hard to find a matching sub (well unless you are desperate dom or psychopath in either case they dont care about matching they want a body. Also it is hard enough to tell how dominant and skilled someone is from talking to them in person, let alone online. I would add when subs say they want a real dominant. I smile to myself and just like when subs say "I want to do everything", I think to myself "Be careful what you wish for". As for the phrase "It's more in the mind than body" when the phrase is analysed it merely means (as in any relationship), the other side has to be of interest and some connection before anything happens and it moves on from there. Personally I think subconscious decisions are made whether a sub decides to play rather than rational, so when someone gets in the mind they may be hitting the subconscious buttons that don't result in sensible choices. Hence the phenomenon for subs like swingers thinking "What did I initially see in them!" Good Luck in your search. " So i totally agree with you, and other subs talk without even trying it before. I have tried it before and i liked it. Unfortunately he moved away therefore i am looking for a real dominant, that yes knows how to dominate your mind before anything else. And that is by making you feel secure and he knows that in the end its not all about his needs its about yours too, even though your needs are to serve his. The other guys that say they are dominant, will come tell you to suck their cock, maybe give you a slap, fuck you and as soon as they came its game over. I have been on fet life for about a year now and its not that great. But then i am a Tv and it makes it ever harder. | |||
"I was going to walk away and not comment on this thread but I would make a few comments. Firstly there are some very competent doms on this site with toys. Secondly fetl is a great resource to find events and meet real people and possibly get to know someone to play with. It is not a dating site although some people successfully meet others on it. To find a matching dom online is as hard to find a matching sub (well unless you are desperate dom or psychopath in either case they dont care about matching they want a body. Also it is hard enough to tell how dominant and skilled someone is from talking to them in person, let alone online. I would add when subs say they want a real dominant. I smile to myself and just like when subs say "I want to do everything", I think to myself "Be careful what you wish for". As for the phrase "It's more in the mind than body" when the phrase is analysed it merely means (as in any relationship), the other side has to be of interest and some connection before anything happens and it moves on from there. Personally I think subconscious decisions are made whether a sub decides to play rather than rational, so when someone gets in the mind they may be hitting the subconscious buttons that don't result in sensible choices. Hence the phenomenon for subs like swingers thinking "What did I initially see in them!" Good Luck in your search. So i totally agree with you, and other subs talk without even trying it before. I have tried it before and i liked it. Unfortunately he moved away therefore i am looking for a real dominant, that yes knows how to dominate your mind before anything else. And that is by making you feel secure and he knows that in the end its not all about his needs its about yours too, even though your needs are to serve his. The other guys that say they are dominant, will come tell you to suck their cock, maybe give you a slap, fuck you and as soon as they came its game over. I have been on fet life for about a year now and its not that great. But then i am a Tv and it makes it ever harder. " Personally I don't believe in "real doms" in the same way that I don't believe in "real subs". I see it as finding a relationship and what one sub or dom calls a "real dom" another sub or dom would disagree. I have reached a view it is better to set out the qualities one wants in the dom/sub that is right for you as you did in your last post. Because some subs love to feel secure, some subs want a regular dom turn up do what is necessary and leave as they may have a primary relationship that is not the dom. I see "domdom" if there is such a word as a rainbow continuum, with a dom at one time being in different places along the continuum as some colours are further along or have thicker bands than orher colours. Hence Bi switches who like things very structured. There will be a few that are all on colour all along. I think meeting anyone in the kink scene that matches a person's requirements is difficult. You hear of reall horror stories. Some would envy you because at least you have had a good relationship, many peopleon the scene don't get that. On Sunday I did as sensual rope scene with someone who said "Your control is really different, most doms I meet just want to blindfold and gag me and have me fuck their mates". My reply was, there are different kinds of domination, you have to find what works for you. I am not going to criticise other doms as there are subs that like to feel used and abused as it satisfies something dark in their soul. This is clearly a refeence to consensual actions and not abuse that makes someone feel bad. So my plea as always is different strokes for different folks. | |||
"I was going to walk away and not comment on this thread but I would make a few comments. Firstly there are some very competent doms on this site with toys. Secondly fetl is a great resource to find events and meet real people and possibly get to know someone to play with. It is not a dating site although some people successfully meet others on it. To find a matching dom online is as hard to find a matching sub (well unless you are desperate dom or psychopath in either case they dont care about matching they want a body. Also it is hard enough to tell how dominant and skilled someone is from talking to them in person, let alone online. I would add when subs say they want a real dominant. I smile to myself and just like when subs say "I want to do everything", I think to myself "Be careful what you wish for". As for the phrase "It's more in the mind than body" when the phrase is analysed it merely means (as in any relationship), the other side has to be of interest and some connection before anything happens and it moves on from there. Personally I think subconscious decisions are made whether a sub decides to play rather than rational, so when someone gets in the mind they may be hitting the subconscious buttons that don't result in sensible choices. Hence the phenomenon for subs like swingers thinking "What did I initially see in them!" Good Luck in your search. So i totally agree with you, and other subs talk without even trying it before. I have tried it before and i liked it. Unfortunately he moved away therefore i am looking for a real dominant, that yes knows how to dominate your mind before anything else. And that is by making you feel secure and he knows that in the end its not all about his needs its about yours too, even though your needs are to serve his. The other guys that say they are dominant, will come tell you to suck their cock, maybe give you a slap, fuck you and as soon as they came its game over. I have been on fet life for about a year now and its not that great. But then i am a Tv and it makes it ever harder. Personally I don't believe in "real doms" in the same way that I don't believe in "real subs". I see it as finding a relationship and what one sub or dom calls a "real dom" another sub or dom would disagree. I have reached a view it is better to set out the qualities one wants in the dom/sub that is right for you as you did in your last post. Because some subs love to feel secure, some subs want a regular dom turn up do what is necessary and leave as they may have a primary relationship that is not the dom. I see "domdom" if there is such a word as a rainbow continuum, with a dom at one time being in different places along the continuum as some colours are further along or have thicker bands than orher colours. Hence Bi switches who like things very structured. There will be a few that are all on colour all along. I think meeting anyone in the kink scene that matches a person's requirements is difficult. You hear of reall horror stories. Some would envy you because at least you have had a good relationship, many peopleon the scene don't get that. On Sunday I did as sensual rope scene with someone who said "Your control is really different, most doms I meet just want to blindfold and gag me and have me fuck their mates". My reply was, there are different kinds of domination, you have to find what works for you. I am not going to criticise other doms as there are subs that like to feel used and abused as it satisfies something dark in their soul. This is clearly a refeence to consensual actions and not abuse that makes someone feel bad. So my plea as always is different strokes for different folks." I do understand what you are saying, but answer me this. Would you count this as being dom: a guy that wants to come over have his dick sucked for couple of min and then fuck you for another 5 and as soon as he comes he wants to leave. In my opinion that is just a guy that wanted to cum and didn't want to jerk off. | |||
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"I was going to walk away and not comment on this thread but I would make a few comments. Firstly there are some very competent doms on this site with toys. Secondly fetl is a great resource to find events and meet real people and possibly get to know someone to play with. It is not a dating site although some people successfully meet others on it. To find a matching dom online is as hard to find a matching sub (well unless you are desperate dom or psychopath in either case they dont care about matching they want a body. Also it is hard enough to tell how dominant and skilled someone is from talking to them in person, let alone online. I would add when subs say they want a real dominant. I smile to myself and just like when subs say "I want to do everything", I think to myself "Be careful what you wish for". As for the phrase "It's more in the mind than body" when the phrase is analysed it merely means (as in any relationship), the other side has to be of interest and some connection before anything happens and it moves on from there. Personally I think subconscious decisions are made whether a sub decides to play rather than rational, so when someone gets in the mind they may be hitting the subconscious buttons that don't result in sensible choices. Hence the phenomenon for subs like swingers thinking "What did I initially see in them!" Good Luck in your search. So i totally agree with you, and other subs talk without even trying it before. I have tried it before and i liked it. Unfortunately he moved away therefore i am looking for a real dominant, that yes knows how to dominate your mind before anything else. And that is by making you feel secure and he knows that in the end its not all about his needs its about yours too, even though your needs are to serve his. The other guys that say they are dominant, will come tell you to suck their cock, maybe give you a slap, fuck you and as soon as they came its game over. I have been on fet life for about a year now and its not that great. But then i am a Tv and it makes it ever harder. Personally I don't believe in "real doms" in the same way that I don't believe in "real subs". I see it as finding a relationship and what one sub or dom calls a "real dom" another sub or dom would disagree. I have reached a view it is better to set out the qualities one wants in the dom/sub that is right for you as you did in your last post. Because some subs love to feel secure, some subs want a regular dom turn up do what is necessary and leave as they may have a primary relationship that is not the dom. I see "domdom" if there is such a word as a rainbow continuum, with a dom at one time being in different places along the continuum as some colours are further along or have thicker bands than orher colours. Hence Bi switches who like things very structured. There will be a few that are all on colour all along. I think meeting anyone in the kink scene that matches a person's requirements is difficult. You hear of reall horror stories. Some would envy you because at least you have had a good relationship, many peopleon the scene don't get that. On Sunday I did as sensual rope scene with someone who said "Your control is really different, most doms I meet just want to blindfold and gag me and have me fuck their mates". My reply was, there are different kinds of domination, you have to find what works for you. I am not going to criticise other doms as there are subs that like to feel used and abused as it satisfies something dark in their soul. This is clearly a refeence to consensual actions and not abuse that makes someone feel bad. So my plea as always is different strokes for different folks. I do understand what you are saying, but answer me this. Would you count this as being dom: a guy that wants to come over have his dick sucked for couple of min and then fuck you for another 5 and as soon as he comes he wants to leave. In my opinion that is just a guy that wanted to cum and didn't want to jerk off. " The person is not a dom to you, but there may be people who want that from a dom. The point I keep returning to is that people have their own ideas of what a dom or sub should be and apply it to other people's actions or relationships. My view is rather than saying certain types are not doms or subs, people should say certain types are not the sort of dom or sub for them. One problem is that people hold their own style of domination or submission as the gold standard, rather than realising it is just a personal standard. Another difficulty is that many subs enter the kink scene with no clear idea of what they want or what attitude they should take to certain doms. That is the subs do not know their personal power to say no. It is only after experiencing situations they found unpleasent that they talk about bad doms. It is a tricky point but subs (both male and female identifying) should try to understand the pitfalls before getting into the kink scene. In my case as a dom I have learnt not to play with brats, or unreliable subs, or those who cannot spell out what they want from a scene or a relationship. In the last two cases am not a mind reader, although I understand natural doms are! I would suggest it is a quetion of discussion to see that both the sub and dom are on the same page before anything starts. If the sub or dom turns out to be lying about their intentions or departs from the original agreement then the relationship should be renegotiated or dissolved. This is not say I don't see your original point. From general discussion there are a lot of doms, that are sex orientated (which is not a bad thing) but it can be completely one sided in their favour, which is the issue. Personally I blame online porn. Anytine the word domination is used you know it will contain one sided sex. however as someone else has said there are a load of doms on fet who are just into impact and not into sex, so you have people jumping the Fet wall into Fab for the sex side of things. I regard to the last comment, "that having tools does not make you a sparkie",it misunderstands that kink is about different strokes for different folks. To misquote Liam Neeson from Taken "but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over my kink career." | |||
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"Interesting reading here. Although my response will not be as long and concise. I find that those men looking for Dom men or women would run a bloody mile if they ever met one If women are looking for Dom men firstly the Dom needs to be experienced enough to understand the rulz. Yes there are rulz as well as boundaries. Secondly there is also trust required. See it’s not as easy as you think. It’s not a matter of “ me Dom man. Me fuck you up well good “ even fet L will scare the bejesus out of many keyboard warriors. If you really want a Dom in your life. Read up about being sub first Or am I wrong ?" I would agree with most of what you said. I always have a problem when people say there needs to be trust. It is like saying you need a safe word. Both trust and a safe word are subjective and only as a good the dom. As for the "me dom I am going to fuck you up". This happens, I am helping a friend through a similar situation, with someone she had played with before with no problem. He had said he was more sadistic since their last play, in the pre play discussion but no indication that he would let rip and leave her black and blue. So there was trust but no empathy. | |||
