FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Feminists have you got everything you wanted yet ?
Feminists have you got everything you wanted yet ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well the patriarchy (that we helped create) has yet to be burned to the ground so no i haven't got everything I want.
I will be drinking wine, petting my cat and ranting on twitter though. Anything for the cause |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well the patriarchy (that we helped create) has yet to be burned to the ground so no i haven't got everything I want.
I will be drinking wine, petting my cat and ranting on twitter though. Anything for the cause "
Love this guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But being serious...I ask every feminist I meet for a prioritised top 5 things they want to change and a plan to make it happen and I've never gotten a straight answer.
Being angry is easy, being constructive is hard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you got a match?
Only on tinder.
Does she have blue hair and depression?
My 14 year old son is under the impression that feminists have blue hair, he's so funny!! "
I think it's sad that 14 years olds are concerned with this noise. |
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That could be because it is very subjective and there are a few differing points of view within femminsm for me it's about equality across the board for everyone sometimes I worry it is starting to go the opposite way |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Have you got a match?
Only on tinder.
Does she have blue hair and depression?
My 14 year old son is under the impression that feminists have blue hair, he's so funny!!
I think it's sad that 14 years olds are concerned with this noise. "
They learn about this stuff at school these days! Not the blue haor bit, that's just an opinion he's formed, not sure why! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you got a match?
Only on tinder.
Does she have blue hair and depression?
My 14 year old son is under the impression that feminists have blue hair, he's so funny!!
I think it's sad that 14 years olds are concerned with this noise.
They learn about this stuff at school these days! Not the blue haor bit, that's just an opinion he's formed, not sure why! "
Because their teachers now have blue hair too?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would you like a bigger spoon?
Ironically I’m having soup on my lunch break, is that ironic, I dunno ?!
No. That's co-incidence. Just simple co-incidence. Irony is different."
Is that what you use to do your apple catchers ? |
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"Or are there still things that need to be done ?"
I think in the UK things are pretty good for women in 2019!
Back in the late 1980’s I had to plan my journey (walking) to ensure I didn’t have to walk past a building site - because every guy on site would down tools, cat call and wolf whistle when a woman went past!
I was ‘constructively dismissed’ from a job as a computer operator as it was shift work - and my new manager believed that women shouldn’t work with men on evening/night shifts! I was the only female so I was ousted!
At school during topics like metalwork and woodwork the boys were taken and taught to use all the machines etc separately whilst we girls twiddled our thumbs - as it was unheard of that we girls might want to be engineers, carpenters, mechanics etc - and only girls did domestic science (cooking)!
I think we should sometimes celebrate how far we’ve come in a relatively short time - and concentrate on trying to improve the terrible lives of women in other cultures!
Yes there are small things that still need to be done - but on the whole I think we’re there! X
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or are there still things that need to be done ?
I think in the UK things are pretty good for women in 2019!
Back in the late 1980’s I had to plan my journey (walking) to ensure I didn’t have to walk past a building site - because every guy on site would down tools, cat call and wolf whistle when a woman went past!
I was ‘constructively dismissed’ from a job as a computer operator as it was shift work - and my new manager believed that women shouldn’t work with men on evening/night shifts! I was the only female so I was ousted!
At school during topics like metalwork and woodwork the boys were taken and taught to use all the machines etc separately whilst we girls twiddled our thumbs - as it was unheard of that we girls might want to be engineers, carpenters, mechanics etc - and only girls did domestic science (cooking)!
I think we should sometimes celebrate how far we’ve come in a relatively short time - and concentrate on trying to improve the terrible lives of women in other cultures!
Yes there are small things that still need to be done - but on the whole I think we’re there! X
"
its true then.
women are wearing donkey jackets, doc marten boots and behaving like they on a picket line.
fascinating. |
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"Or are there still things that need to be done ?
I think in the UK things are pretty good for women in 2019!
Back in the late 1980’s I had to plan my journey (walking) to ensure I didn’t have to walk past a building site - because every guy on site would down tools, cat call and wolf whistle when a woman went past!
I was ‘constructively dismissed’ from a job as a computer operator as it was shift work - and my new manager believed that women shouldn’t work with men on evening/night shifts! I was the only female so I was ousted!
At school during topics like metalwork and woodwork the boys were taken and taught to use all the machines etc separately whilst we girls twiddled our thumbs - as it was unheard of that we girls might want to be engineers, carpenters, mechanics etc - and only girls did domestic science (cooking)!
I think we should sometimes celebrate how far we’ve come in a relatively short time - and concentrate on trying to improve the terrible lives of women in other cultures!
Yes there are small things that still need to be done - but on the whole I think we’re there! X
its true then.
women are wearing donkey jackets, doc marten boots and behaving like they on a picket line.
fascinating."
Not sure how my post led to your comment? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or are there still things that need to be done ?
I think in the UK things are pretty good for women in 2019!
Back in the late 1980’s I had to plan my journey (walking) to ensure I didn’t have to walk past a building site - because every guy on site would down tools, cat call and wolf whistle when a woman went past!
I was ‘constructively dismissed’ from a job as a computer operator as it was shift work - and my new manager believed that women shouldn’t work with men on evening/night shifts! I was the only female so I was ousted!
At school during topics like metalwork and woodwork the boys were taken and taught to use all the machines etc separately whilst we girls twiddled our thumbs - as it was unheard of that we girls might want to be engineers, carpenters, mechanics etc - and only girls did domestic science (cooking)!
I think we should sometimes celebrate how far we’ve come in a relatively short time - and concentrate on trying to improve the terrible lives of women in other cultures!
Yes there are small things that still need to be done - but on the whole I think we’re there! X
its true then.
women are wearing donkey jackets, doc marten boots and behaving like they on a picket line.
fascinating.
Not sure how my post led to your comment? "
i was hoping to see you in them.
my mistake |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope we have not got everything we wanted but we have a lot.
How about ending rpe and sexual harrassment, domestic violence, Ending male privilege, and equal pay? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nope we have not got everything we wanted but we have a lot.
How about ending rpe and sexual harrassment, domestic violence, Ending male privilege, and equal pay? "
Not ending equal pay but making it mandatory |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nope we have not got everything we wanted but we have a lot.
How about ending rpe and sexual harrassment, domestic violence, Ending male privilege, and equal pay? "
Interested to hear your thoughts on how to go about these aims? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm unsure how to effect change.
formal Education on sexual consent dismissing.the notion of grey areas. tougher laws, harsher sentencing, less victim.blaming, also I think there needs to be studies on the perpetrators of abuses against women.
As for equal.pay more transparency concerning salaries.
Ending male.privilege I have no idea how to tackle... |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
As I've said before, here and elsewhere, we have got to a point where it is attitudes and understanding of male privilege that needs to change and there is actually only so much of that women can do.
It's one of the reasons why the Gillette advert is spot on, it's men challenging other men that will change behaviour and viewpoints going forward.
The men who appreciate and accept that women aren't lying when they talk about "feminist issues" are already there, they listen to women and see their voice as valid.
The hearts and minds that need changing now are the men who, it doesn't matter how articulate or reasoned a womans argument is, will, on some level, dismiss it purely because it's from a woman (so many times I've had a man tell me something doesn't exist because 'but I've not seen it' about a situation I'm telling him has directly happened to me). Most men don't even realise that is why they dismiss the suggestion/idea/theory - they just do. But if it is presented by a man they will accept it.
These are the men who will respond to their peers, when someone they respect pulls them up on something, then they will listen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That could be because it is very subjective and there are a few differing points of view within femminsm for me it's about equality across the board for everyone sometimes I worry it is starting to go the opposite way "
Lmao don't worry, it's really not! Men still have everything they want and more... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But being serious...I ask every feminist I meet for a prioritised top 5 things they want to change and a plan to make it happen and I've never gotten a straight answer.
Being angry is easy, being constructive is hard. "
Well yeah you can make that argument for pretty much anything.
Economics - even with multiple phds they arent going to be able to.give you a 5 point plan.
Politics - no party in history has ever made concise plan to paradise and implimented it
I mean hell if you asked me for the top 5 things i want in a tv show and a plan on how to make it i wouldn't even know what step one would be.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That could be because it is very subjective and there are a few differing points of view within femminsm for me it's about equality across the board for everyone sometimes I worry it is starting to go the opposite way
Lmao don't worry, it's really not! Men still have everything they want and more... "
Making up 95%of work place deaths?
Never see a campaign for women to get equal death rates along side the pay debates |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or are there still things that need to be done ?
Probably a reduction in VAW and femicide would be top of the list..."
Well women are already half as likley as men to be a victim of violent crime |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I've said before, here and elsewhere, we have got to a point where it is attitudes and understanding of male privilege that needs to change and there is actually only so much of that women can do.
It's one of the reasons why the Gillette advert is spot on, it's men challenging other men that will change behaviour and viewpoints going forward.
The men who appreciate and accept that women aren't lying when they talk about "feminist issues" are already there, they listen to women and see their voice as valid.
The hearts and minds that need changing now are the men who, it doesn't matter how articulate or reasoned a womans argument is, will, on some level, dismiss it purely because it's from a woman (so many times I've had a man tell me something doesn't exist because 'but I've not seen it' about a situation I'm telling him has directly happened to me). Most men don't even realise that is why they dismiss the suggestion/idea/theory - they just do. But if it is presented by a man they will accept it.
These are the men who will respond to their peers, when someone they respect pulls them up on something, then they will listen. "
Have you considered that you might be wrong? Confirmation bias can be very strong.
What are these male privileges?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Or are there still things that need to be done ?
I think in the UK things are pretty good for women in 2019!
Back in the late 1980’s I had to plan my journey (walking) to ensure I didn’t have to walk past a building site - because every guy on site would down tools, cat call and wolf whistle when a woman went past!
I was ‘constructively dismissed’ from a job as a computer operator as it was shift work - and my new manager believed that women shouldn’t work with men on evening/night shifts! I was the only female so I was ousted!
At school during topics like metalwork and woodwork the boys were taken and taught to use all the machines etc separately whilst we girls twiddled our thumbs - as it was unheard of that we girls might want to be engineers, carpenters, mechanics etc - and only girls did domestic science (cooking)!
I think we should sometimes celebrate how far we’ve come in a relatively short time - and concentrate on trying to improve the terrible lives of women in other cultures!
Yes there are small things that still need to be done - but on the whole I think we’re there! X
"
That’s a better answer, than this thread deserved. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As I've said before, here and elsewhere, we have got to a point where it is attitudes and understanding of male privilege that needs to change and there is actually only so much of that women can do.
It's one of the reasons why the Gillette advert is spot on, it's men challenging other men that will change behaviour and viewpoints going forward.
The men who appreciate and accept that women aren't lying when they talk about "feminist issues" are already there, they listen to women and see their voice as valid.
The hearts and minds that need changing now are the men who, it doesn't matter how articulate or reasoned a womans argument is, will, on some level, dismiss it purely because it's from a woman (so many times I've had a man tell me something doesn't exist because 'but I've not seen it' about a situation I'm telling him has directly happened to me). Most men don't even realise that is why they dismiss the suggestion/idea/theory - they just do. But if it is presented by a man they will accept it.
These are the men who will respond to their peers, when someone they respect pulls them up on something, then they will listen. "
But one of the scenes in that Gillette advert showed a man stopping another man approaching a beautiful woman who was going to introduce himself, saying ‘Not cool, not cool!’ So men can’t even go up to a woman and say Hi now. Ironically the toxic masculinity in that is the man stopping the other man from approaching a woman, it’s hard enough for men to get the courage to introduce themselves to a woman as it is, now that’s going to put anyone off.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I've said before, here and elsewhere, we have got to a point where it is attitudes and understanding of male privilege that needs to change and there is actually only so much of that women can do.
It's one of the reasons why the Gillette advert is spot on, it's men challenging other men that will change behaviour and viewpoints going forward.
The men who appreciate and accept that women aren't lying when they talk about "feminist issues" are already there, they listen to women and see their voice as valid.
The hearts and minds that need changing now are the men who, it doesn't matter how articulate or reasoned a womans argument is, will, on some level, dismiss it purely because it's from a woman (so many times I've had a man tell me something doesn't exist because 'but I've not seen it' about a situation I'm telling him has directly happened to me). Most men don't even realise that is why they dismiss the suggestion/idea/theory - they just do. But if it is presented by a man they will accept it.
These are the men who will respond to their peers, when someone they respect pulls them up on something, then they will listen.
But one of the scenes in that Gillette advert showed a man stopping another man approaching a beautiful woman who was going to introduce himself, saying ‘Not cool, not cool!’ So men can’t even go up to a woman and say Hi now. Ironically the toxic masculinity in that is the man stopping the other man from approaching a woman, it’s hard enough for men to get the courage to introduce themselves to a woman as it is, now that’s going to put anyone off.
"
How am I supposed to meet my Mr Right if he's not allowed to say hello to me in the first place? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"As I've said before, here and elsewhere, we have got to a point where it is attitudes and understanding of male privilege that needs to change and there is actually only so much of that women can do.
It's one of the reasons why the Gillette advert is spot on, it's men challenging other men that will change behaviour and viewpoints going forward.
The men who appreciate and accept that women aren't lying when they talk about "feminist issues" are already there, they listen to women and see their voice as valid.
The hearts and minds that need changing now are the men who, it doesn't matter how articulate or reasoned a womans argument is, will, on some level, dismiss it purely because it's from a woman (so many times I've had a man tell me something doesn't exist because 'but I've not seen it' about a situation I'm telling him has directly happened to me). Most men don't even realise that is why they dismiss the suggestion/idea/theory - they just do. But if it is presented by a man they will accept it.
These are the men who will respond to their peers, when someone they respect pulls them up on something, then they will listen.
But one of the scenes in that Gillette advert showed a man stopping another man approaching a beautiful woman who was going to introduce himself, saying ‘Not cool, not cool!’ So men can’t even go up to a woman and say Hi now. Ironically the toxic masculinity in that is the man stopping the other man from approaching a woman, it’s hard enough for men to get the courage to introduce themselves to a woman as it is, now that’s going to put anyone off.
How am I supposed to meet my Mr Right if he's not allowed to say hello to me in the first place? "
Exactly and that will be down to toxic feminism. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've read that a woman during child birth can almost experience the pain that some men experienced while watching that Gillette advert.
I thought Gillette was for men with sensitive thin skin..who knew its not for them .  |
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"I've read that a woman during child birth can almost experience the pain that some men experienced while watching that Gillette advert.
I thought Gillette was for men with sensitive thin skin..who knew its not for them . "
Well the way I see it is that all the blokes are growing beards, all the women are shaving their fannies! Gillette are selling more razors to women than men. This might explain their pandering to women |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've read that a woman during child birth can almost experience the pain that some men experienced while watching that Gillette advert.
I thought Gillette was for men with sensitive thin skin..who knew its not for them .
Well the way I see it is that all the blokes are growing beards, all the women are shaving their fannies! Gillette are selling more razors to women than men. This might explain their pandering to women "
You make a very good point!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?"
I just think these days men can't win. I want you all to stand up and stop taking this nonsense!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?"
Wtf!  . How bloody ridiculous. |
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By *iffaWoman
over a year ago
wherever |
"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?"
I hold the door open for anyone men or women it’s just being polite. Unless you work in a secure building that you need to swipe in for of course. Then don’t be holding the door open for anyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?
Wtf! . How bloody ridiculous. "
I was dumfounded. I thought my manager was taking the piss! She'd actually spoken to him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?
Wtf! . How bloody ridiculous.
I was dumfounded. I thought my manager was taking the piss! She'd actually spoken to him. "
I actually find that really sad  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?
I hold the door open for anyone men or women it’s just being polite. Unless you work in a secure building that you need to swipe in for of course. Then don’t be holding the door open for anyone "
It was just going into the kitchen. She had a cup in one hand and a plate in the other.
I don't at work anymore unless I'm friends with the person. What a sad state of affairs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?
I hold the door open for anyone men or women it’s just being polite. Unless you work in a secure building that you need to swipe in for of course. Then don’t be holding the door open for anyone
It was just going into the kitchen. She had a cup in one hand and a plate in the other.
I don't at work anymore unless I'm friends with the person. What a sad state of affairs. "
That really is verging on the ridiculous. I bet you would have done exactly the same thing if it had been a man behind you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?
“Spoken to”...?"
By my manager and HR. I still can't believe it now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?
I hold the door open for anyone men or women it’s just being polite. Unless you work in a secure building that you need to swipe in for of course. Then don’t be holding the door open for anyone
It was just going into the kitchen. She had a cup in one hand and a plate in the other.
I don't at work anymore unless I'm friends with the person. What a sad state of affairs.
That really is verging on the ridiculous. I bet you would have done exactly the same thing if it had been a man behind you. "
Of course I would have and still do out of work. Surely it's just basic manners? Unfortunately working for a big corporation is more political than The House of commons... |
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"That could be because it is very subjective and there are a few differing points of view within femminsm for me it's about equality across the board for everyone sometimes I worry it is starting to go the opposite way "
For me too it's about fairness to one and all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?
I hold the door open for anyone men or women it’s just being polite. Unless you work in a secure building that you need to swipe in for of course. Then don’t be holding the door open for anyone
It was just going into the kitchen. She had a cup in one hand and a plate in the other.
I don't at work anymore unless I'm friends with the person. What a sad state of affairs.
That really is verging on the ridiculous. I bet you would have done exactly the same thing if it had been a man behind you.
Of course I would have and still do out of work. Surely it's just basic manners? Unfortunately working for a big corporation is more political than The House of commons..."
Oh yes definitely! It’s sad as people just won’t do or say anything anymore. I know so many people who won’t even have social media as it’s not worth the risk. Friend of mine has an Irish friend at work and always calls him paddy even though that’s not his name. He’s fine with it as most people do. Someone else in the staff room reported him for it and he got a warning! The other person had nothing to do with the conversation and didn’t even know either of them that well. It’s bonkers! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?
I hold the door open for anyone men or women it’s just being polite. Unless you work in a secure building that you need to swipe in for of course. Then don’t be holding the door open for anyone
It was just going into the kitchen. She had a cup in one hand and a plate in the other.
I don't at work anymore unless I'm friends with the person. What a sad state of affairs.
That really is verging on the ridiculous. I bet you would have done exactly the same thing if it had been a man behind you.
Of course I would have and still do out of work. Surely it's just basic manners? Unfortunately working for a big corporation is more political than The House of commons...
Oh yes definitely! It’s sad as people just won’t do or say anything anymore. I know so many people who won’t even have social media as it’s not worth the risk. Friend of mine has an Irish friend at work and always calls him paddy even though that’s not his name. He’s fine with it as most people do. Someone else in the staff room reported him for it and he got a warning! The other person had nothing to do with the conversation and didn’t even know either of them that well. It’s bonkers!"
Exactly that! We have "training" each year about what can and can't be said. Role play and everything. Apparently the answer to "what do you find offensive"? Isn't "people who get offended too easily". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?
I hold the door open for anyone men or women it’s just being polite. Unless you work in a secure building that you need to swipe in for of course. Then don’t be holding the door open for anyone
It was just going into the kitchen. She had a cup in one hand and a plate in the other.
I don't at work anymore unless I'm friends with the person. What a sad state of affairs.
That really is verging on the ridiculous. I bet you would have done exactly the same thing if it had been a man behind you.
Of course I would have and still do out of work. Surely it's just basic manners? Unfortunately working for a big corporation is more political than The House of commons...
Oh yes definitely! It’s sad as people just won’t do or say anything anymore. I know so many people who won’t even have social media as it’s not worth the risk. Friend of mine has an Irish friend at work and always calls him paddy even though that’s not his name. He’s fine with it as most people do. Someone else in the staff room reported him for it and he got a warning! The other person had nothing to do with the conversation and didn’t even know either of them that well. It’s bonkers!
Exactly that! We have "training" each year about what can and can't be said. Role play and everything. Apparently the answer to "what do you find offensive"? Isn't "people who get offended too easily". "
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"I need someone to remove some shrubs from my back garden
And trim your bush ? "
I’ve managed that bit myself, along with leaf removal and the entire contents of a compost bin. What kind of numpty puts plastics bags in the composter? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?
Wtf! . How bloody ridiculous.
I was dumfounded. I thought my manager was taking the piss! She'd actually spoken to him. "
Let it shut in her face next time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?
I hold the door open for anyone men or women it’s just being polite. Unless you work in a secure building that you need to swipe in for of course. Then don’t be holding the door open for anyone
It was just going into the kitchen. She had a cup in one hand and a plate in the other.
I don't at work anymore unless I'm friends with the person. What a sad state of affairs.
That really is verging on the ridiculous. I bet you would have done exactly the same thing if it had been a man behind you.
Of course I would have and still do out of work. Surely it's just basic manners? Unfortunately working for a big corporation is more political than The House of commons...
Oh yes definitely! It’s sad as people just won’t do or say anything anymore. I know so many people who won’t even have social media as it’s not worth the risk. Friend of mine has an Irish friend at work and always calls him paddy even though that’s not his name. He’s fine with it as most people do. Someone else in the staff room reported him for it and he got a warning! The other person had nothing to do with the conversation and didn’t even know either of them that well. It’s bonkers!
Exactly that! We have "training" each year about what can and can't be said. Role play and everything. Apparently the answer to "what do you find offensive"? Isn't "people who get offended too easily".
"
I always hold the door open for anyone too. Never had anyone feel like I'm patronising them. They are usually grateful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?
Wtf! . How bloody ridiculous.
I was dumfounded. I thought my manager was taking the piss! She'd actually spoken to him.
Let it shut in her face next time. "
You'll get blasted for not opening the door next time. |
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"Or are there still things that need to be done ?
Could you cook the dinner please?? We're having Confit Du Canard...or is it De? Be a lamb and google it for me will you.....  "
It's Fu Canard..... think and wait . |
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?"
Might not have been for holding the door but for granting her permission.
You should have had that made clear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?
“Spoken to”...?
By my manager and HR. I still can't believe it now"
Would they do the same if you opened a door for a guy? If not then theyre certainly not applying equal rights and failing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?
Might not have been for holding the door but for granting her permission.
You should have had that made clear."
How is opening a door granting permission? So if I open a door it's now seen as I have authority over the other person?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?
Wtf! . How bloody ridiculous.
I was dumfounded. I thought my manager was taking the piss! She'd actually spoken to him.
Let it shut in her face next time.
You'll get blasted for not opening the door next time."
Don't stop someone getting hurt because you're removing that choice away from them. And if she were to say thank you she could be reported for implying you weren't really capable and was surprised you could even do it... Time to change nationalities.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I've said before, here and elsewhere, we have got to a point where it is attitudes and understanding of male privilege that needs to change and there is actually only so much of that women can do.
It's one of the reasons why the Gillette advert is spot on, it's men challenging other men that will change behaviour and viewpoints going forward.
The men who appreciate and accept that women aren't lying when they talk about "feminist issues" are already there, they listen to women and see their voice as valid.
The hearts and minds that need changing now are the men who, it doesn't matter how articulate or reasoned a womans argument is, will, on some level, dismiss it purely because it's from a woman (so many times I've had a man tell me something doesn't exist because 'but I've not seen it' about a situation I'm telling him has directly happened to me). Most men don't even realise that is why they dismiss the suggestion/idea/theory - they just do. But if it is presented by a man they will accept it.
These are the men who will respond to their peers, when someone they respect pulls them up on something, then they will listen.
But one of the scenes in that Gillette advert showed a man stopping another man approaching a beautiful woman who was going to introduce himself, saying ‘Not cool, not cool!’ So men can’t even go up to a woman and say Hi now. Ironically the toxic masculinity in that is the man stopping the other man from approaching a woman, it’s hard enough for men to get the courage to introduce themselves to a woman as it is, now that’s going to put anyone off.
How am I supposed to meet my Mr Right if he's not allowed to say hello to me in the first place? "
Erm....You approach him and start chatting first?
B |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I've said before, here and elsewhere, we have got to a point where it is attitudes and understanding of male privilege that needs to change and there is actually only so much of that women can do.
It's one of the reasons why the Gillette advert is spot on, it's men challenging other men that will change behaviour and viewpoints going forward.
The men who appreciate and accept that women aren't lying when they talk about "feminist issues" are already there, they listen to women and see their voice as valid.
The hearts and minds that need changing now are the men who, it doesn't matter how articulate or reasoned a womans argument is, will, on some level, dismiss it purely because it's from a woman (so many times I've had a man tell me something doesn't exist because 'but I've not seen it' about a situation I'm telling him has directly happened to me). Most men don't even realise that is why they dismiss the suggestion/idea/theory - they just do. But if it is presented by a man they will accept it.
These are the men who will respond to their peers, when someone they respect pulls them up on something, then they will listen.
But one of the scenes in that Gillette advert showed a man stopping another man approaching a beautiful woman who was going to introduce himself, saying ‘Not cool, not cool!’ So men can’t even go up to a woman and say Hi now. Ironically the toxic masculinity in that is the man stopping the other man from approaching a woman, it’s hard enough for men to get the courage to introduce themselves to a woman as it is, now that’s going to put anyone off.
How am I supposed to meet my Mr Right if he's not allowed to say hello to me in the first place?
Erm....You approach him and start chatting first?
B"
Definitely cannot use the term Mr Right implies others aren't |
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?
I just think these days men can't win. I want you all to stand up and stop taking this nonsense!! "
They can and do "win" |
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"I was spoken to at work for holding a door open for a lady. Apparently it's not my place to give her permission to enter a room? Why are people so easily offended nowadays?
Might not have been for holding the door but for granting her permission.
You should have had that made clear.
How is opening a door granting permission? So if I open a door it's now seen as I have authority over the other person?
"
I wasn't there. I was quoting the O.P. Ask them what was said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or are there still things that need to be done ?
They could get Mothercare to rebrand as ParentCare.
Will never happen."
Could be two different brands in this day and age. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"
But one of the scenes in that Gillette advert showed a man stopping another man approaching a beautiful woman who was going to introduce himself, saying ‘Not cool, not cool!’ So men can’t even go up to a woman and say Hi now. Ironically the toxic masculinity in that is the man stopping the other man from approaching a woman, it’s hard enough for men to get the courage to introduce themselves to a woman as it is, now that’s going to put anyone off.
"
I had to rewatch the advert to double check.
He wasn't "going to introduce himself" he was going to follow a woman who had walked past him because he thought she was attractive.
Why do you think that following someone in the street is appropriate?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
But one of the scenes in that Gillette advert showed a man stopping another man approaching a beautiful woman who was going to introduce himself, saying ‘Not cool, not cool!’ So men can’t even go up to a woman and say Hi now. Ironically the toxic masculinity in that is the man stopping the other man from approaching a woman, it’s hard enough for men to get the courage to introduce themselves to a woman as it is, now that’s going to put anyone off.
I had to rewatch the advert to double check.
He wasn't "going to introduce himself" he was going to follow a woman who had walked past him because he thought she was attractive.
Why do you think that following someone in the street is appropriate?!"
How do you know he was wasn’t going up to introduce himself, how did you come to that conclusion ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
But one of the scenes in that Gillette advert showed a man stopping another man approaching a beautiful woman who was going to introduce himself, saying ‘Not cool, not cool!’ So men can’t even go up to a woman and say Hi now. Ironically the toxic masculinity in that is the man stopping the other man from approaching a woman, it’s hard enough for men to get the courage to introduce themselves to a woman as it is, now that’s going to put anyone off.
I had to rewatch the advert to double check.
He wasn't "going to introduce himself" he was going to follow a woman who had walked past him because he thought she was attractive.
Why do you think that following someone in the street is appropriate?!
How do you know he was wasn’t going up to introduce himself, how did you come to that conclusion ? "
Because all men are sexual predators and abusers so clearly he was going to stalk her home and not simply catch up and say hi |
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Have we got what we wanted? Lemme think..
Ok so we got sexual freedom but with that we got men who think that means we're up for fucking them whenever, for their pleasure, and are ugly fat slags when this isn't what we want. Seeing as this is fab i gotta mention sex first obviously.
We got the chance to be single parents without stigma but with that also the choice to work to pay for our kids and be slagged off for that coz we should stay at home with our kids or to be a stay at home parent and be slagged off for that because we should be paying for our kids. Quite often an absent dad is ignored and never criticised and all blame/criticism is left to the one coping with the children. Single dads = martyrs by defualt.
We got the chance to have equal pay and equal opportunities so long as our employer is cool with that, otherwise it's fuck you laws mean nothing.
We got the chance to have a #metoo movement that didn't exclude men but a lot of people still victim blame, say women are attention seeking by mentioning their sexual abuse/assault using the tag.
I can see the change in men though and the power we are gaining, that's for sure. And it's quite interesting to see men unsure about whether their actions or intentions are coverly abusive and to actually think about that. I'd say a lot of guys are self aware and are considerate of women anyway but the ones who are unsure do seem to be the ones who are abusive, whether that's intenional or not you can usually tell as they are passive aggressive when commenting on it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
We got the chance to have a #metoo movement that didn't exclude men but a lot of people still victim blame, say women are attention seeking by mentioning their sexual abuse/assault using the tag.
"
Well it was a litrle bit awkward when several of the prominent female leaders of the metoo movement were outed as abusers themselves. Made even more awkward when the other prominent women victim blamed thier male victims and society in general and made excuses for them and thier abuse.
It did somewhat take the moral edge of the movement and expose a lot of it as a bit of a career move |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
But one of the scenes in that Gillette advert showed a man stopping another man approaching a beautiful woman who was going to introduce himself, saying ‘Not cool, not cool!’ So men can’t even go up to a woman and say Hi now. Ironically the toxic masculinity in that is the man stopping the other man from approaching a woman, it’s hard enough for men to get the courage to introduce themselves to a woman as it is, now that’s going to put anyone off.
I had to rewatch the advert to double check.
He wasn't "going to introduce himself" he was going to follow a woman who had walked past him because he thought she was attractive.
Why do you think that following someone in the street is appropriate?!"
How do you know he was going to follow her? What made you come to that conclusion? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
We got the chance to have a #metoo movement that didn't exclude men but a lot of people still victim blame, say women are attention seeking by mentioning their sexual abuse/assault using the tag.
Well it was a litrle bit awkward when several of the prominent female leaders of the metoo movement were outed as abusers themselves. Made even more awkward when the other prominent women victim blamed thier male victims and society in general and made excuses for them and thier abuse.
It did somewhat take the moral edge of the movement and expose a lot of it as a bit of a career move"
Say what? Oh surely none of that metoo stuff was to do with career moves. Never even crossed my mind. How could you think such a thing!  |
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"
We got the chance to have a #metoo movement that didn't exclude men but a lot of people still victim blame, say women are attention seeking by mentioning their sexual abuse/assault using the tag.
Well it was a litrle bit awkward when several of the prominent female leaders of the metoo movement were outed as abusers themselves. Made even more awkward when the other prominent women victim blamed thier male victims and society in general and made excuses for them and thier abuse.
It did somewhat take the moral edge of the movement and expose a lot of it as a bit of a career move"
Who did that?
Suppose if they did this it exposes how hard it is to get a conviction for *banned on fab word* for the 96% of surviors whose accusers get off scot free because it's often one persons word against another. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
We got the chance to have a #metoo movement that didn't exclude men but a lot of people still victim blame, say women are attention seeking by mentioning their sexual abuse/assault using the tag.
Well it was a litrle bit awkward when several of the prominent female leaders of the metoo movement were outed as abusers themselves. Made even more awkward when the other prominent women victim blamed thier male victims and society in general and made excuses for them and thier abuse.
It did somewhat take the moral edge of the movement and expose a lot of it as a bit of a career move
Who did that?
Suppose if they did this it exposes how hard it is to get a conviction for *banned on fab word* for the 96% of surviors whose accusers get off scot free because it's often one persons word against another."
Asia Argento and Avital Ronell being the big ones.
Yeah jot so kuch he said she said in this case asia paid the boy off and the acedemics victim.had all the emails.
But still there was that creepy as fuck letter feom feminist academics defending her that if it had been written by important men about harvey winestein would hsve seen them all fired.
When you start saying shit lile her acedemic work (in feminist studies) is so important her abuse should be overlooked you lose credibility as a movement.
Then the back pessling wqs even more funnynover the letter as more abuse info came out
"Our aim was not to defend her actions — we did not have the case in hand — but to oppose the termination of her employment as a punishment Such a punishment seemed unfair."
So they dont want people fired for sexually abusing thier underlings/students when the abuser is a woman but the whole movement seemed focused on costing people thier jobs.
A quote from.the letter
""We testify to the grace, the keen wit, and the intellectual commitment of Professor Ronell and ask that she be accorded the dignity rightly deserved by someone of her international standing and reputation," the letter said. "If she were to be terminated or relieved of her duties, the injustice would be widely recognized and opposed."
Also it said about the victim "has waged this malicious campaign against her"
"We deplore the damage that this legal proceeding causes her, and seek to register in clear terms our objection to any judgment against her. We hold that the allegations against her do not constitute actual evidence, but rather support the view that malicious intention has animated and sustained this legal nightmare."
....yeah.
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"
We got the chance to have a #metoo movement that didn't exclude men but a lot of people still victim blame, say women are attention seeking by mentioning their sexual abuse/assault using the tag.
Well it was a litrle bit awkward when several of the prominent female leaders of the metoo movement were outed as abusers themselves. Made even more awkward when the other prominent women victim blamed thier male victims and society in general and made excuses for them and thier abuse.
It did somewhat take the moral edge of the movement and expose a lot of it as a bit of a career move
Who did that?
Suppose if they did this it exposes how hard it is to get a conviction for *banned on fab word* for the 96% of surviors whose accusers get off scot free because it's often one persons word against another.
Asia Argento and Avital Ronell being the big ones.
Yeah jot so kuch he said she said in this case asia paid the boy off and the acedemics victim.had all the emails.
But still there was that creepy as fuck letter feom feminist academics defending her that if it had been written by important men about harvey winestein would hsve seen them all fired.
When you start saying shit lile her acedemic work (in feminist studies) is so important her abuse should be overlooked you lose credibility as a movement.
Then the back pessling wqs even more funnynover the letter as more abuse info came out
"Our aim was not to defend her actions — we did not have the case in hand — but to oppose the termination of her employment as a punishment Such a punishment seemed unfair."
So they dont want people fired for sexually abusing thier underlings/students when the abuser is a woman but the whole movement seemed focused on costing people thier jobs.
A quote from.the letter
""We testify to the grace, the keen wit, and the intellectual commitment of Professor Ronell and ask that she be accorded the dignity rightly deserved by someone of her international standing and reputation," the letter said. "If she were to be terminated or relieved of her duties, the injustice would be widely recognized and opposed."
Also it said about the victim "has waged this malicious campaign against her"
"We deplore the damage that this legal proceeding causes her, and seek to register in clear terms our objection to any judgment against her. We hold that the allegations against her do not constitute actual evidence, but rather support the view that malicious intention has animated and sustained this legal nightmare."
....yeah.
"
Ok thanks, i hadn't heard of either of them before. I also hadn't seen the letters of support.
Yeah that's a shame about the #metoo thing then because it'd be good if opinion changed on abuse survivors -which i do think will happen as i've seen progress in my life time. But as can happen with predators and other abusers they will latch onto anything to make themselves look better in the public eye unfortunately. |
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