FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Ok so I’m back in my box today
Ok so I’m back in my box today
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I can categorically say that I will never approach a guy in a normal public place, not talking bar or club, I mean like an everyday place.
Felt confident Saturday like I did a brave thing, today I feel like a dick and wish I never done it and I’m embarrassed cos this was a local person (I didn’t know at the time) and knows people I know.
Now I’m gonna be known as the moron that goes up to people asking for their number.
I’m embarrassed as fuck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can categorically say that I will never approach a guy in a normal public place, not talking bar or club, I mean like an everyday place.
Felt confident Saturday like I did a brave thing, today I feel like a dick and wish I never done it and I’m embarrassed cos this was a local person (I didn’t know at the time) and knows people I know.
Now I’m gonna be known as the moron that goes up to people asking for their number.
I’m embarrassed as fuck. "
Why you have more bollocks than most people learn from it move on it’s his loss x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can categorically say that I will never approach a guy in a normal public place, not talking bar or club, I mean like an everyday place.
Felt confident Saturday like I did a brave thing, today I feel like a dick and wish I never done it and I’m embarrassed cos this was a local person (I didn’t know at the time) and knows people I know.
Now I’m gonna be known as the moron that goes up to people asking for their number.
I’m embarrassed as fuck. "
Don't be so silly  One dickhead shouldn't put you off asking someone out. If that were the case, nobody would ever get approached by anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can categorically say that I will never approach a guy in a normal public place, not talking bar or club, I mean like an everyday place.
Felt confident Saturday like I did a brave thing, today I feel like a dick and wish I never done it and I’m embarrassed cos this was a local person (I didn’t know at the time) and knows people I know.
Now I’m gonna be known as the moron that goes up to people asking for their number.
I’m embarrassed as fuck. "
Don’t be embarrassed, you’re both adults. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What’s the lesson?
Don’t just go up to a random guy just cos you like the look of them?
Should at least talk first, but what if you saw someone in Tesco or somewhere like that, just let them go past is that the lesson? |
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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
Just remember that most guys go through this exact experience repeatedly for most of their dating lives. Nothing to be embarassed about because you'd never have known what would have hapened otherwise -just chalk it up to experience, write off the bad experience and hopefully one day youll regain enough confidence to try again. |
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are you really embarressed or is it the fact he didnt get back to you? Would you feel embarressed if he had got back to you? Youve done it once you can do it again just cause you where rejected the first time doesnt mean you will be the next time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What’s the lesson?
Don’t just go up to a random guy just cos you like the look of them?
Should at least talk first, but what if you saw someone in Tesco or somewhere like that, just let them go past is that the lesson?"
Would you have preferred not to approach him and then be thinking what if all time. ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"are you really embarressed or is it the fact he didnt get back to you? Would you feel embarressed if he had got back to you? Youve done it once you can do it again just cause you where rejected the first time doesnt mean you will be the next time"
This  |
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"I can categorically say that I will never approach a guy in a normal public place, not talking bar or club, I mean like an everyday place.
Felt confident Saturday like I did a brave thing, today I feel like a dick and wish I never done it and I’m embarrassed cos this was a local person (I didn’t know at the time) and knows people I know.
Now I’m gonna be known as the moron that goes up to people asking for their number.
I’m embarrassed as fuck. "
You're overthinking. Talking to strangers in public, or asking for their number is a perfectly normal thing to do and nothing to be ashamed of, or embarrassed about. Nobody's going to think any less of you for taking an interest in someone, it just shows that you have guts. |
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"What’s the lesson?
Don’t just go up to a random guy just cos you like the look of them?
Should at least talk first, but what if you saw someone in Tesco or somewhere like that, just let them go past is that the lesson?"
it would be much better to strike up a conversation with someone then ask for their number rather than a random guy that passes you in tesco |
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"I can categorically say that I will never approach a guy in a normal public place, not talking bar or club, I mean like an everyday place.
Felt confident Saturday like I did a brave thing, today I feel like a dick and wish I never done it and I’m embarrassed cos this was a local person (I didn’t know at the time) and knows people I know.
Now I’m gonna be known as the moron that goes up to people asking for their number.
I’m embarrassed as fuck.
Don't be so silly One dickhead shouldn't put you off asking someone out. If that were the case, nobody would ever get approached by anyone. "
Why call him a dick head? The bloke was minding his business with his kids, he was probably flattered at the time, doesn’t mean he had to sweep the OP off her feet  he might even have a girlfriend.
You did a brave thing OP, it didn’t work out, stop thinking about it, it’s done, move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, no, no! I read the other thread! You have nothing to feel bad about. You got his number, not a fake one, his actual number so he obviously fancied you enough to hand it out. You messaged him. You've done your bit. He should feel bad for not responding to you after handing his number out. Hold your head high! |
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"I can categorically say that I will never approach a guy in a normal public place, not talking bar or club, I mean like an everyday place.
Felt confident Saturday like I did a brave thing, today I feel like a dick and wish I never done it and I’m embarrassed cos this was a local person (I didn’t know at the time) and knows people I know.
Now I’m gonna be known as the moron that goes up to people asking for their number.
I’m embarrassed as fuck. "
Do not take it as a negative on your behalf...he’s the idiot who let you go.
I was having a hygienists appointment and whilst her hands were in my mouth she was telling me how her friend (also a hygienist) was sent a card asking her out for tea and cake by a patient. She said it made a change that her friend was asking her for advice as it was usually her friend trying to get my hygienist dating again.
So whilst my teeth were being seen to, I wondered why she would offer me all this information, at the end of the appointment I took a deep breath and asked if she’d like to go out. She didn’t need to tell me then and there, just get my number from my records and text me.
I followed it up with a card the next day so she wouldn’t break data protection laws lol.
Only to be told a week later, thanks and that she wasn’t single.
I was walking around on cloud 9 for days afterwards given the laugh and initial connection I felt we had.
I’d have loved it if you’d approached me.
It is not you! It’s them. Don’t lose that spontaneous side...I am trying to hold onto mine xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can categorically say that I will never approach a guy in a normal public place, not talking bar or club, I mean like an everyday place.
Felt confident Saturday like I did a brave thing, today I feel like a dick and wish I never done it and I’m embarrassed cos this was a local person (I didn’t know at the time) and knows people I know.
Now I’m gonna be known as the moron that goes up to people asking for their number.
I’m embarrassed as fuck.
Don't be so silly One dickhead shouldn't put you off asking someone out. If that were the case, nobody would ever get approached by anyone.
Why call him a dick head? The bloke was minding his business with his kids, he was probably flattered at the time, doesn’t mean he had to sweep the OP off her feet he might even have a girlfriend.
You did a brave thing OP, it didn’t work out, stop thinking about it, it’s done, move on "
So much this. He will have had a reason (good or bad we will never know) but dude seriously missed a chance there.
I think the vast majority of the world would be agreeing with everyone here in that you did normal but brave thing and you should do it more often. As should we all. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Maybe it’s guilt by association, he seemed to be friends with someone that used to shag one of my friends and she acted a bit crazy with him. Like she would turn up at his house unannounced, would scream and kick off in clubs if they were out. I remember one time her chasing him round the bar and he went out to the smoking area and jumped over a 6ft wall to get away from her.
I’m clutching at straws here but I’m guessing Monday would have seen that dude obviously would’ve mentioned what happened cos you just do and he could have looked at my picture on WhatsApp and recognised me and said oh she’s friends with ***** I’d stay away!
This is only a guess cos I only sent the one message Saturday evening and was there in my list, could see the profile pic all Sunday when I was messaging other people, looked earlier and it’s gone today so earned myself a block. Hence the reason I feel like a ginormous dick head and the embarrassment of it all!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can categorically say that I will never approach a guy in a normal public place, not talking bar or club, I mean like an everyday place.
Felt confident Saturday like I did a brave thing, today I feel like a dick and wish I never done it and I’m embarrassed cos this was a local person (I didn’t know at the time) and knows people I know.
Now I’m gonna be known as the moron that goes up to people asking for their number.
I’m embarrassed as fuck.
Don't be so silly One dickhead shouldn't put you off asking someone out. If that were the case, nobody would ever get approached by anyone.
Why call him a dick head? The bloke was minding his business with his kids, he was probably flattered at the time, doesn’t mean he had to sweep the OP off her feet he might even have a girlfriend.
You did a brave thing OP, it didn’t work out, stop thinking about it, it’s done, move on "
I'm only going off info from the last post. If he gave her his number when he's got a girlfriend, that's a bit of a dickhead move.
They don't know each other well enough to decide if they like each other or not. So it sounds as if he's just ignoring her, in which case he shouldn't have given his number out.
If OP can muster the confidence to ask for it, the least she deserves is a little honesty in his response. As we all do.
You're right though... He may not be a dickhead. |
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"Maybe it’s guilt by association, he seemed to be friends with someone that used to shag one of my friends and she acted a bit crazy with him. Like she would turn up at his house unannounced, would scream and kick off in clubs if they were out. I remember one time her chasing him round the bar and he went out to the smoking area and jumped over a 6ft wall to get away from her.
I’m clutching at straws here but I’m guessing Monday would have seen that dude obviously would’ve mentioned what happened cos you just do and he could have looked at my picture on WhatsApp and recognised me and said oh she’s friends with ***** I’d stay away!
This is only a guess cos I only sent the one message Saturday evening and was there in my list, could see the profile pic all Sunday when I was messaging other people, looked earlier and it’s gone today so earned myself a block. Hence the reason I feel like a ginormous dick head and the embarrassment of it all!
"
You are seriously over thinking this. What did you actually say in the message you sent? Its quite simple you asked someone for their number they gave you it and then changed their mind. Thats it. Simple forget about it and just maybe chat awhile next time |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe it’s guilt by association, he seemed to be friends with someone that used to shag one of my friends and she acted a bit crazy with him. Like she would turn up at his house unannounced, would scream and kick off in clubs if they were out. I remember one time her chasing him round the bar and he went out to the smoking area and jumped over a 6ft wall to get away from her.
I’m clutching at straws here but I’m guessing Monday would have seen that dude obviously would’ve mentioned what happened cos you just do and he could have looked at my picture on WhatsApp and recognised me and said oh she’s friends with ***** I’d stay away!
This is only a guess cos I only sent the one message Saturday evening and was there in my list, could see the profile pic all Sunday when I was messaging other people, looked earlier and it’s gone today so earned myself a block. Hence the reason I feel like a ginormous dick head and the embarrassment of it all!
You are seriously over thinking this. What did you actually say in the message you sent? Its quite simple you asked someone for their number they gave you it and then changed their mind. Thats it. Simple forget about it and just maybe chat awhile next time"
Just said hi it’s ***** from the pool, can’t believe I did that earlier and did that stupid monkey emoji covering it’s eyes!
I know it was a shit message but nothing too sinister.
But you would tell your mates about it wouldn’t you. Like I would if some guy came up to me. Knew it was a bad idea when he said he was from my area.
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"Maybe it’s guilt by association, he seemed to be friends with someone that used to shag one of my friends and she acted a bit crazy with him. Like she would turn up at his house unannounced, would scream and kick off in clubs if they were out. I remember one time her chasing him round the bar and he went out to the smoking area and jumped over a 6ft wall to get away from her.
I’m clutching at straws here but I’m guessing Monday would have seen that dude obviously would’ve mentioned what happened cos you just do and he could have looked at my picture on WhatsApp and recognised me and said oh she’s friends with ***** I’d stay away!
This is only a guess cos I only sent the one message Saturday evening and was there in my list, could see the profile pic all Sunday when I was messaging other people, looked earlier and it’s gone today so earned myself a block. Hence the reason I feel like a ginormous dick head and the embarrassment of it all!
You are seriously over thinking this. What did you actually say in the message you sent? Its quite simple you asked someone for their number they gave you it and then changed their mind. Thats it. Simple forget about it and just maybe chat awhile next time
Just said hi it’s ***** from the pool, can’t believe I did that earlier and did that stupid monkey emoji covering it’s eyes!
I know it was a shit message but nothing too sinister.
But you would tell your mates about it wouldn’t you. Like I would if some guy came up to me. Knew it was a bad idea when he said he was from my area.
"
of cause you would tell your mates who wouldnt if someone came up and asked for your number. But im sure he couldnt be anything other than flattered who wouldnt be |
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"Maybe it’s guilt by association, he seemed to be friends with someone that used to shag one of my friends and she acted a bit crazy with him. Like she would turn up at his house unannounced, would scream and kick off in clubs if they were out. I remember one time her chasing him round the bar and he went out to the smoking area and jumped over a 6ft wall to get away from her.
I’m clutching at straws here but I’m guessing Monday would have seen that dude obviously would’ve mentioned what happened cos you just do and he could have looked at my picture on WhatsApp and recognised me and said oh she’s friends with ***** I’d stay away!
This is only a guess cos I only sent the one message Saturday evening and was there in my list, could see the profile pic all Sunday when I was messaging other people, looked earlier and it’s gone today so earned myself a block. Hence the reason I feel like a ginormous dick head and the embarrassment of it all!
"
Just stop!!! Stop trying to theorise and rationalise some ones else’s decisions, you can think of 100 scenarios and all of them could be wrong.
You did a brave thing for you, just leave it at that or you will do your brain in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He's probably just been k*dnapped, or gone underground for MI5 or something. That's what's always happened to any guys who didn't answer me...I think."
Definitely dadnapped by ninja lesbians |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah it was brave. Just the thought that I’ve probably been laughed about now. Like to warrant a block when I only sent the one message, that’s what makes me feel stupid. |
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"Maybe it’s guilt by association, he seemed to be friends with someone that used to shag one of my friends and she acted a bit crazy with him. Like she would turn up at his house unannounced, would scream and kick off in clubs if they were out. I remember one time her chasing him round the bar and he went out to the smoking area and jumped over a 6ft wall to get away from her.
I’m clutching at straws here but I’m guessing Monday would have seen that dude obviously would’ve mentioned what happened cos you just do and he could have looked at my picture on WhatsApp and recognised me and said oh she’s friends with ***** I’d stay away!
This is only a guess cos I only sent the one message Saturday evening and was there in my list, could see the profile pic all Sunday when I was messaging other people, looked earlier and it’s gone today so earned myself a block. Hence the reason I feel like a ginormous dick head and the embarrassment of it all!
"
Can I get your friend's number? ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He's probably just been k*dnapped, or gone underground for MI5 or something. That's what's always happened to any guys who didn't answer me...I think.
Definitely dadnapped by ninja lesbians "
Bloody hate when that happens. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe it’s guilt by association, he seemed to be friends with someone that used to shag one of my friends and she acted a bit crazy with him. Like she would turn up at his house unannounced, would scream and kick off in clubs if they were out. I remember one time her chasing him round the bar and he went out to the smoking area and jumped over a 6ft wall to get away from her.
I’m clutching at straws here but I’m guessing Monday would have seen that dude obviously would’ve mentioned what happened cos you just do and he could have looked at my picture on WhatsApp and recognised me and said oh she’s friends with ***** I’d stay away!
This is only a guess cos I only sent the one message Saturday evening and was there in my list, could see the profile pic all Sunday when I was messaging other people, looked earlier and it’s gone today so earned myself a block. Hence the reason I feel like a ginormous dick head and the embarrassment of it all!
Can I get your friend's number? ??"
She’s actually married now and you wouldn’t even know she used to be crazy! |
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"Yeah it was brave. Just the thought that I’ve probably been laughed about now. Like to warrant a block when I only sent the one message, that’s what makes me feel stupid. "
You’re from my school of thought but I am great at giving advice not listening to it...you have guts and that’s all that counts. Putting yourself out there is a huge plus point.
He’s the one who should be embarrassed, all he needed to do was say he wasn’t interested if that was the case.
Don’t let this knock you. Forget about him and move on. It’s all cool xx |
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"Yeah it was brave. Just the thought that I’ve probably been laughed about now. Like to warrant a block when I only sent the one message, that’s what makes me feel stupid. "
so what you going to do sit back and let one negative put you off. You might get more rejection but if you dont put yourself out there your not going to get anywhere. How long you been on here 8 years? and you havent found mr right yet so time for new tactics and if your going to give up after one negative you may as well sit and look at your inbox for another 8 years. Im not trying to be bitchy just how i see it
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"Maybe it’s guilt by association, he seemed to be friends with someone that used to shag one of my friends and she acted a bit crazy with him. Like she would turn up at his house unannounced, would scream and kick off in clubs if they were out. I remember one time her chasing him round the bar and he went out to the smoking area and jumped over a 6ft wall to get away from her.
I’m clutching at straws here but I’m guessing Monday would have seen that dude obviously would’ve mentioned what happened cos you just do and he could have looked at my picture on WhatsApp and recognised me and said oh she’s friends with ***** I’d stay away!
This is only a guess cos I only sent the one message Saturday evening and was there in my list, could see the profile pic all Sunday when I was messaging other people, looked earlier and it’s gone today so earned myself a block. Hence the reason I feel like a ginormous dick head and the embarrassment of it all!
Can I get your friend's number? ??
She’s actually married now and you wouldn’t even know she used to be crazy!"
There's hope for us all then!
Hope you're ok, and if you'd have asked for my number, I'd have been over the moon x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah it was brave. Just the thought that I’ve probably been laughed about now. Like to warrant a block when I only sent the one message, that’s what makes me feel stupid. so what you going to do sit back and let one negative put you off. You might get more rejection but if you dont put yourself out there your not going to get anywhere. How long you been on here 8 years? and you havent found mr right yet so time for new tactics and if your going to give up after one negative you may as well sit and look at your inbox for another 8 years. Im not trying to be bitchy just how i see it"
True. Like I’ve never seen him before so even though he’s from the area chances are I won’t bump into him again. The dude he’s friends with I haven’t seen for a couple of years either. Ahh I just hate feeling embarrassed like I’d rather be the one who says yeah I done this and he blew me out and blocked me rather than that person tell people and it’s heard about that way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It has put me off doing something like that again though. My first experience of approaching someone in public and I will not be making that mistake again! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't be embarrassed he was a sod for giving you his number and then not having the ball's to talk to you for whatever reason that was. Two fingers up to him."
100% agree with this. |
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